“Now, reaction time is a factor in this, so please pay attention.” Twilight explained as she adjusted the apparatus on the table. Before her, Sweetie Belle sat with a look of somewhat aggravated disbelief, her cybernetic eyes half-lidded as the alicorn focused a needle thin beam of light into one of them. “These first few questions I’m going to ask are intended to help calibrate the equipment. I’ll let you know after that when we’re ready to begin the test.”

Twilight turned to check a set of bellows that were quietly pumping away on the side of her apparatus. Sweetie sighed impatiently.

“Twi, while I understand you want to find out all you can about me, isn’t this kind of redundant?” The robot asked. “We know what I am, there’s no question about it.”

Twilight nodded softly.

“Indeed we do, but that’s not the only thing this test was designed for. It also measures your empathy levels, your ability to replicate the same manner of physical and emotional reactions to stimuli that living ponies have.” She explained. Sweetie just looked confused.

“And what’s that going to prove?” She asked. Twilight smiled.

“Just indulge me. I promise this will be the last thing I ask of you today.” She said while pressing one of the buttons on her equipment. Sweetie looked to Spike, who was trying to hide himself in a comic book. The dragon sheepishly smiled and shrugged that no matter how bizarre Twilight’s methods for examining his marefriend’s newly revealed robotic state were, there was always some logic behind them.

“Okay, let’s start with the calibrations. What is your name?”

The robot looked quizzical. “Sweetie Belle?”

Twilight hummed as she study something on her equipment. “Mmm… is that really your full answer? Or just how you’re used to responding for those who aren’t aware of your true self?”

The lights around Sweetie’s horn and her legs flickered slightly, as if expressing resentment.

“You want me to respond how you think I’m supposed to respond? Like a machine? Is that it?” She asked in a slightly harsh tone. Twilight took it in stride.

“Only if you want to. I just need you to answer how you genuinely feel inclined to answer for this.” She said. Sweetie took a deep breath.

-Fine.- She said, her voice picking up its metallic timbre again. –I am designated unit Sweetie Belle, or Sweetie Bot, if you wish. Activated by Ponyville mechanic Hondo Flanks on April 16th at 2000 hours and assigned to the role of younger sibling to his offspring, Rarity. Does that work better for you?-

Twilight looked at her instruments.

“Perfectly, and thank you.” She replied, ignoring Sweetie’s skeptical expression. “Where do you live?”

Sweetie took a moment to breathe, telling herself this was just Twilight being thorough in her investigation.

-I am assigned to two residences: the domicile of Hondo Flanks and Cookie Crumbles, 1982 Tranquility Lane, Ponyville, Equestria, and the domicile and commercial exchange center of Rarity, the Carousel Boutique, 451 Main Street, Ponyville, Equestria.- She replied, slowly and mechanically. Twilight checked her instruments again and nodded.

“Alright, I think that’s all I need for the calibrations. Let’s begin the actual test.” She said while pulling up a scroll in her magic. “These next questions are intended to provoke emotional and physical responses. Please don’t think too long about them, just answer as quickly as you can.”

Sweetie sighed. –I know how this works, Twilight. A cursory scan of the equipment is all I need to deduce its function.-

Twilight blinked in surprise.

-No one understands machines like another machine.- Sweetie replied. Twilight grabbed a quill and hastily scribbled another note.

“Alright, then I’ll begin.” She checked her scroll. “Picture yourself on a train at a station. You notice somepony is there at the turnstile…”

Sweetie’s eyes dilated, casting their evergreen light across the table. Twilight noted this too.

“As you get off the train you notice a purse of bits drop from the pony’s flank onto the floor. Before you can tell them, they hop on a bus outside the station and disappear.” The alicorn continued. Sweetie sat in silence for a moment.

-I… give it to one of the plasticine porters with looking glass ties and tell them it was dropped by a pony with kaleidoscope eyes? Possibly answering to the name of ‘Lucy’?- She finally replied. –Seriously, Twi, that’s the sort of question you’re going to ask me?-

The alicorn studied her instruments and nodded with a mysterious smile.

“It is if it provokes this sort of reaction.” She said while jotting away. “Okay, how about this: you’re reading a magazine when you notice there’s a spider crawling up the window next to you.”

Sweetie thought for a moment then shrugged. - I’d open the window and coax it outside.-

Twilight nodded. “Alright, let’s say you go back to the magazine and notice there’s a full page photo of a mare lying on a bearskin rug…”

Another silence fell as Sweetie just stared at the alicorn.

-Yes? And? Rarity has plenty of magazines with that kind of content. It’s a typical photo pose.-

Twilight arched an eyebrow. “What if she were nude?”

-Most ponies are, in a casual situation.- Sweetie replied.

“What if you showed it to Spike and he wanted to pin it to the wall of his room?” Twilight asked. Now the dragon in question had to stare at her in disbelief.

“Twi, what… what sort of question is that?” He asked, aghast. The alicorn again turned to her equipment.

“The kind that gets me the data I need. Very interesting these results.” She smiled while writing some more. Sweetie now had to glower at her.

-What are you going to ask next? The one about the turtle in the desert? Cause my answer is that’s cruel and you’re sick for imagining I’d do anything like that!- The robot said. Twilight noted how her voice seemed to grow more metallic in tone the more aggravated she became.

“Nah, that one’s too common. All these questions I wrote myself for the sake of this specific test.” Twilight replied, to a dismissive snort.

-I’m honored.- Sweetie grumbled. Twilight pursed her lips in thought.

“Well, maybe this will be more pleasant if we tried a different approach. Spike, would you like to ask the questions instead?”

The dragon looked up from his comic book.

“We might get better results if I remove myself entirely from the test. Make it so it’s more like you two just having a conversation.” Twilight explained. Spike looked to Sweetie, who nodded that yes, the process would be a bit less bothersome if he was involved.

“Uh… okay.” He got up and walked over to where Twilight was sitting.

“Just note if the needle here moves, and keep an eye on how far to the left or the right these two pointers move.” Twilight pointed to her apparatus. “I’ve organized the questions into low, medium, and high intensity. Please try to ask a good balance of each.”

“Sure, no problem.” Spike said as he read over the alicorn’s scroll. Giving another shrug he turned to his marefriend. “Sorry about this.”

Sweetie shook her head.

-It’s fine, just seems a bit pointless.- The robot looked to Twilight. –But if she thinks it’ll reveal something then I’ll still do it.-

Twilight nodded in thanks and stepped away from the table, allowing Spike to take over.

“Okay, so uh, let’s try this one…” Spike cleared his throat. “You’re selected to join the Ponyville hoofball team. The coach asks you to pick a position of your preference.”

Sweetie thought for a moment.

-Honestly, I’d rather be on the track team, or the gymnastics team. Hoofball has too many avenues for me to accidentally hurt somepony with my abilities.- She replied. Spike looked rather surprised, and carefully noted what the instruments told him.

“Okay, next one: it’s 1,000 years in the future, you’re tending to a memorial garden set up for those whom you’ve known during your lifetime, and have since passed on.” Spike made a face at the question, then noticed the instrument readings were all over the place.

-Are… Are you among that number?- Sweetie hesitantly asked. Spike put the scroll down and reached over to hold her hoof.

“Most likely? No. Ember’s dad, Torch, is like 5,000 years old, and I think he’s considered to be just at the end of his middle age. Not exactly young, but not an old relic either.” He said, giving her hoof a squeeze. Sweetie exhaled in what definitely sounded like relief.

-Then I’d probably be watering the flowers… making sure I was growing everypony’s favourite kind.- She replied. Spike noted the readings, and also wrote down his observation that the robot didn’t even seem phased at the idea of living so long, provided he was there with her all the way.

“Right… let’s try a more pleasant one.” Spike checked the list and smiled. “Okay, it’s ‘Have-A-Laugh Day’, Pinkie Pie has charged you to come up with the best prank you can think of to play on somepony.”

Sweetie thought for a moment, bit her lip, and then giggled.

-I manipulate the power wattage on dad’s razor, so the next time he shaves he gets an electric shock.- Sweetie’s eyes glowed brighter.

“And then, when he does, I say something like ‘Well you’re the one who’s always talking about getting a charge on current events!”

Spike furrowed his brow, yet smiled at the same time. The puns were give or take, but the way his marefriend’s voice switched back to its normal and very harmonious tone, seemingly of its own volition, struck him as quite endearing.

“Alright, let’s see here… umm, okay, here’s a good one.” Spike tapped the scroll. “You have a little colt, he shows you his butterfly collection, plus the killing jar.”

He turned back to Sweetie awaiting her response. He waited, and waited, and waited, while Sweetie’s eyes swiveled and dilated in some unreadable line of thought.

“I have a colt? An actual foal of my own? I mean… I know it’s hypothetical, but… well, actually, that’s been something I’ve been pondering for a while.” The robot replied. On his side, Spike noted the needles on the testing equipment were again going crazy.

“Really?” He asked softly. Sweetie nodded.

“I’m sure some would say we’re both too young to be even talking about it, but given how many other normal pony things I can do, I’ve… um…” She looked to Twilight. “Uhh… is this something I should reveal in her presence?”

Spike looked to the alicorn, who in turn looked to the door of her lab, clearly happy to leave if Sweetie wanted some privacy.

“It’s your call, Sweetie. I’d trust Twi implicitly with anything, but if you’d rather not have her hear what you’re about to say…”

Sweetie winced as pink bled into her cheeks.

“No, no, if that’s the case, then she’d probably appreciate this.” The robot took a deep breath. “As you may or may not have guessed, Spike and I have explored a bit of the physical side of a relationship. Not full on sex… but heavy petting at least.”

Twilight looked shocked, but then giggled as her own cheeks began to turn red.

“Well that’s only to be expected… though… uh…” She clamped her teeth together in embarrassment. “How… how did that go?”

Sweetie looked down at her hoof, feeling her circuits sizzle again at how Spike hadn’t let go of it. That was good, it gave her more time to process the resulting data that seemed to best fit into the category of ‘courage’.

“Like… like it should, I guess. As far as just touching and fondling go, I’m still capable of replicating how a pony’s body should react. The thing is, I want to know if that extends to the more intimate areas…”

Spike felt a second hoof place itself on his hand, the grille cover lightly grazing his scales.

“If you really still want to be my coltfriend, Spike, I gotta know if I can return your love physically as well as metaphorically. I want to know if we actually can… erm… mate, if I’m capable of having foals… if you eventually decide you want them I mean.”

Spike looked to the instruments, his eyes swinging back and forth as the needles continued to jerk and sway with their readings on the robot’s feelings. He let out a long gust of breath as he himself processed what Sweetie had just said.

“Well… if nothing else, I feel a little less embarrassed that I’m not the only one who’s been thinking about this. I mean, I swear it’d make no difference if it turned out you couldn’t do either, but seeing as you… I mean…” The dragon cleared his throat a little more awkwardly. “As you have the parts, and they seem to work just fine… I’d be happy to give it a try.”

The two looked to Twilight, both of them now glad she was present to lend a more educated opinion on their conundrum. That, and for the comic value of seeing her again blushing so hard she was hitting shades of purple that were previously unknown.

“As always, there’s a multitude of tests we can run, examinations we can do to see if you’re capable of carrying young, and so on. If you two really love each other to the extent that you want to go all the way, then I say do it, and see what happens.” Twilight said with a nervous giggle. “Just be responsible about it okay? Like you said, you’re both young, and really should enjoy life before you think about settling down.”

Spike looked back at his marefriend, feeling his body burn with a comforting warmth at how her eyes just glowed with her adoration for him.

“We don’t even know if dragons can reproduce with regular ponies, let along robotic ones.” He said, murring as Sweetie leaned forward and pressed her head to his.

“Then as Twilight said, we’ll just have to find out… when the time is right of course! I don’t want to sound like I’m forcing you.” She replied, letting out a pleased hum as Spike wrapped his other arm around her neck and held her face gently against his own.

“It’s not really forcing somepony if they love you is it?” Spike cooed, before hearing a familiar click and whirring sound, and looking up to again be met with the business end of Sweetie’s blasters. “Even if they are holding you hostage until you do it.”

Sweetie winced and grit her teeth as she again frantically tried to retract her body’s weaponry.

“Twi… at some point, do you think you could also find out how I can stop this from happening? It’s… eee… it’s embarrassing.” The robot feebly meeped. Twilight placed a hoof to her mouth and politely held in her laughter.

“It’s a sign you love Spike just as much. But I’ll see if there’s a workaround.” The alicorn walked over and shut off her testing apparatus. “In the meantime, I think we’ve gotten all we can from this, and I’ve taken up enough of your time. Go enjoy yourselves while I analyze the results.”

Sweetie nodded awkwardly as she flexed and shifted her shoulders, letting out a relieved sigh when her blasters finally retreated into her back.

“Milkshakes at Sugar Cube Corner?” Spike asked.

“Love to. Just... let’s keep the conversation away from intimate things for now, please.” She pleaded before turning to Twi. “So, when will we know if I’m a pony or a machine?”

Twi giggled. “Again, this wasn’t that sort of test. I’ll let you know what I was after in due time, of course.”

Sweetie looked disappointed, but at Spike’s urging, she shrugged and departed with her drake. Reading over her observations from the instruments, Twilight summoned a fresh scroll and began to compose a letter:

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I conducted my first foray into seeing if an artificial construct can still be said to possess a soul…

Author's Note

So I've been reading some of the comics that Vavacung has been posting to Deviantart, notably the other stories that focus on Sweetie Bot. I know a lot of folk are probably reading this just for when Sweetie and Spike bang, but honestly I'm seeing a lot more substance to be explored beyond that and as such I will continue to do so, even if it does cost me half my readership.

Rest assured if I feel this series warrants sex then I won't shy away from doing it, but I'm not writing it just for the pron. If you want dragon on robot romping then go read Sweetie Bot's First Night if you want to peer into the other intricacies that come with such an unusual relationship stay here and keep watching this spot.

Also, Blade Runner FTW! *grabs popcorn and goes to watch the movie for the umpteen billionth time*