waiting on the world to change
I pushed my hands deeper into the pockets of my coat, seeking whatever warmth was still there. White crystals had started to fall from the sky, coating everything in a bright, piercing layer of cold frost. I shivered, walking slowly, gazing at the trees, the wetness on my cheeks felling like ice against my fur. I wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my large coat, sniffing. My heart felt so numb. The chill on my cheeks and eyelashes were nothing compared to the icicle piercing my heart. I breathed out my mouth, watching my breath come out in billowing clouds. Eyes staring blankly in front of me, at the bright world, I felt alone. I saw a face flash through my mind, just barely did I recognize it, the one I loved most, there just days before, now gone, to another place. I doubled over, as if pierced by something unseen. It hurt, why did it hurt so much. I clenched at my chest, my face contorting into a silent sob. Tears rolled down my cheeks, my whole body quivering and shaking violently. My sobs grew louder and I grasped at my chest again. I gasped trying to breath, but my breath wouldn’t come out right, I gasped several more times each with an echoing sob thundering in my ears. He was here, just a day ago, he was fine, he smiled, so brightly at me, as if saying everything was fine, as if everything was ok, and…and…I left him, I didn’t even tell him everything, I would have said so much more. I could have done something, if I had been there, I could have…Why was this happening…why…why…