Gloriosa was…an interesting character to say the least…Very cheerful. Which is a good thing, I guess, but the cheerfulness comes across to me as being a little forced…But, to each their own, I guess.
After we were all assigned tent mates, everyone was dismissed to go get settled in. The tents were quite impressive, everything inside reflecting the great outdoors. We were in the middle of getting unpacked, when Twilight turned to me.
“Hey Sunset, could I ask you about something?...” There was something off about her tone. She sounded nervous…more nervous than usual.
“Of course. You can talk to me about anything Twi.” I reassured her.
“Well…” She fiddled with her hair nervously. “It’s about Flash…More specifically what happened with Flash when we first arrived here... I mean, After addressing me, he had pointed to you, and randomly, and…quite awkwardly said that you guys don’t know each other very well… and well… not to be intrusive or anything, but, you guys do seem to avoid each other at all costs….”
….Anything but that. This was the last thing I wanted to have to talk to Twilight about. I must have stiffened visibly at her question, as she was quick to dismiss her own question and apologize.
“Uhh, you know what? Never mind. It was probably wrong of me to ask…”
I wanted to just let her apology be, and try to divert to a different topic, but I knew I couldn’t do that. I had just told her that she can talk to me about anything, and quite frankly, this girl needs some encouragement to open up around us, and blowing off the first deep question she asks me about would do nothing to help, in regards to that.
“No…you’re right. We do tend to avoid each other…Not because we hold a grudge against each other…well, at least I don’t towards him…Don’t know if the feeling’s mutual though.” I sighed, putting my head down.
“I tend to avoid him because…well Twi…” I look back up at her. “I feel ashamed. Ashamed of what I did in the past, and I don’t know if I could ever have an actual conversation with him again because of it.
“Did you guys used to be friends?”
“Well…He tried to be my friend at least. I kind of just succeeded in driving him away.”
“I’m sure that’s not true, whatever happened was probably just a misunderstanding.”
I gave a dry chuckle at that.
“Twi, no offense, but you really know nothing about me. If you think I’m someone to look up to, you’re sadly living in a deluded world.”
“A deluded world?” She repeated. “ Was what happened at the Friendship Games a delusion?”
“That’s different. That happened after I changed. But it doesn’t change the fact that everything you know of me, is only less than one year old. If you were to know who I was years before that, I highly doubt you would still have the same view of me.”
“Try me.”
Ok. This girl wanted the truth? Then she asked for it. Hopefully she would still even want to be my friend by the time it was all said and done. But the truth was that she was going to find out sooner or later. She needed to. I don’t want a friend who only accepts me for the good things she sees in me. I need to know that she will stay by me, just like I would for her, and remain my friend. Even knowing all of my flaws, which are more in number than her’s.
So, taking a deep breath, I swallowed my pride, and confessed all to her.
………………………………………………………..
“So...in short, you broke up the friendships of nearly everyone in Canterlot High, used Flash for popularity, bullied Fluttershy, tried to take over an entire dimension, and turned into a demon- but I mean, we both did that one.”
“Don’t forget stealing the element of magic from Twi- err…Princess Twilight, which is as good as a capital one offense…” I held onto my arm uncomfortably.
“and the fact that I did actually try to kill Twi- Princess Twilight….” Twilight was quiet for a moment, taking this all in.
“But, that wasn’t you. You didn’t have any control when your demon took over.”
“Actually…I did. I can’t try and justify myself by saying “I wasn’t in control”, because...I was…and that may be the worst part of all that I did in the past…The fact that I sincerely, and truly wanted…Princess Twilight dead.” I turned to look at Twilight, who was staring at me with a look of dumbfoundedness.
“Now you know the whole truth about me Twilight... Do you still think I’m someone to look up to?” She didn’t say anything.
“Do you still feel safe around me?” Silence.
“Do you still want to be friends with me?” I tried to keep a neutral tone, but it turned into a whisper, a plea.
She opened her mouth as if wanting to say something, but closed it again. She looked away, refusing to meet my gaze. After a long while, she slowly got up, still not able to look me in the eye, though I did see a tear fall down her face, as she passed me and went for the door.
She put her hand on the doorknob, and paused. She didn’t look back, but whispered.
“….I’m sorry.” The door then opened, and she walked out.
I sat there in silence.
Was I surprised at what had happened? No. I expected this kind of reaction. Not because I think Twilight is judgemental…Far from it. But it was completely normal for her to have that sort of reaction to all that had just been exposed.
It’s the main reason I hadn’t told her anymore about my past until now. Maybe it was foolish of me to tell her as much as I did. But I didn’t want to hide it from her anymore. I needed to know exactly what she thought of me...
I guess I know now.
