"Those who lives fully is prepared for death at any time..."
Author's Note
Author's note: Just for reference., this takes place in an AU where Twilight didn't become the Princess of Friendship. That being said, enjoy!
"Those who lives fully is prepared for death at any time..."
Dear Princess Celestia,
I know it is coming, and I do not fear it, because I believe that those who lives fully have nothing to fear. Though I do hope to be spared as much pain as possible on the approach path. I was perfectly content before I was born, and I think of death as a similar state. I am truly grateful for the gifts of intelligence, love, laughter and wonder. You can't say it wasn't interesting right, Princess? I have a lifetime's of memories from this journey we call life. I will require them for eternity as my own personal souvenirs.
Now, I do not expect to die anytime soon. But it could happen at this moment, while I am writing this letter to you. I was talking the other day with Applejack and the conversation turned to our deaths, as it always does these days. "Ask somepony how they feel about death," she said, "and they'll tell you everypony's gonna die. Ask them, In the next thirty seconds? No, no, no that ain't gonna happen. How about the next afternoon? No.What you are really asking them to admit is, Oh my Faust, I don't really exist. I might be gone at any given second.
Me too, but I hope not. I still have plans. Still, illness and old age has led me resolutely towards the contemplation of death. That led me to a subject of what lies beyond the afterlife, that most vexing question that alludes even the brightest of us, and I became engulfed in my unforeseen research about the nature of life and the afterlife, religion, theory of evolution, intelligent design, reincarnation, the nature of reality, what came before the beginning, what waits after the end, the nature of magic, nature of intelligence, the reality of the self, death, death, death.
Many ponies have informed that that it is a tragic and dreary business to go into death without faith. I do not feel that way. "Faith" is neutral. All depends on what is believed in. I have no desire to live forever. The concept frightens me. I don't know how you and Luna do it honestly. But I suppose that's why you're the princesses. I am 89 years old. I will die sooner than most of those who may read this. That being you of course, Princess. In my plans for life after death, I quote Whithoof:
I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love
If you want me again look for me under your hooves.
I expect my body to fail, my mind will cease to function and that will be the end of me. But my legacy will live on in Spike, my children and my children's children and for that alone I am glad. I am comforted by that fact. My thoughts, ideas, gestures, notions, songs, beliefs, rhymes, ideals, teachings, sayings, phrases that will move from mind to mind as genes move from body to body. Intermingling and merging with their own personalities, turning into to something completely new. Becoming their own pony. Yes, that's a comforting thought indeed. After a lifetime of writing, teaching, being a mother and being the occasional savior, I will leave behind more of 'me' in them then simply my genes. They will all also die, but so it goes.
I respect and love Kindness. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie showed me that, at the end, according to our abilities, if we have done something to make others happier, if only a little, because sometimes at the end of the day that's all we can really do. To make others unhappy is a crime. To make yourself unhappy I where all crime starts. We must contribute joy to the world. Be kind. That is true no matter what our problems are, our circumstances. We must try. I didn't always know this until I met them and I am glad I lived long enough to find it out.
One of these days, I will encounter "the distinguished thing." I won't be conscious the moment of passing. I was declared dead once already, you remember don't you? After I ruptured an artery after using particularly straining spell, the doctors thought I was beyond saving. My wife, Trixie, said she sensed that I was still alive and that I was communicating with her that I wasn't finished with my life yet. She said our hearts were beating in unison, although my heartbeat couldn't be heard. She told the doctors I was alive and did what doctors usually do, and here I am, alive and writing this letter to you.
Do I believe her? Absolutely. I believe her literally. ---Not symbolically, figuratively or spiritually. I believe that she was actually aware of my call and that she sense my heartbeat. I believe what she did was in the real, physical world, the one where I share with my books. I see no reason why such communication can't exist. I'm not talking about some form of magic, telepathy, psychic phenomenon or even a miracle. The only miracle was that she was there when it happened, her by my side, as she was for many long days and nights. I'm simply talking about her standing there and knowing something. Haven't all of us experience that at some point? Haven't you, princess? What happens at a level not known to the best of us can't even fathom to access or understand. It's a...equine kind of thing.
Someday, I will no longer call out, and there will be no heartbeat. I will be no longer alive. Dead. What happens then? I have no idea. Absolutely none. Years ago, when I talked to Rainbow Dash about this this subject she answered, "Who knows, but you'd better cry at my funeral, Sparky and it had better be awesome." It's been years since she passed. We gave her the funeral she always wanted, did we not Princess? I had made sure to keep my promise to her after all.
Years of knowing Luna has given me an appreciation and adoration for the beautiful nights. The constellations, the stars and beyond. Looking at the stars always make me dream, as simply as I dream over the black dots of towns, villages and cities on a map. Why, I ask myself, shouldn't the shining dots in the sky be as accessible as the black dots that make up a map of Equestria? Just as we take a train to Canterlot or Manehatten, we take death to reach a star. We can not get to a star while alive anymore that we can take a train when dead. So, perhaps things live cancer or various diseases is a means of 'celestial' locomotion. Just as trains or carriages are the terrestrial means.
To die of old age would be to travel there on foot.
What a lovely thought, isn't it. Though I do somewhat hope to find a celestial locomotive, it seems walking there would take a while wouldn't you agree? But I digress. To repeat what I said in the beginning, princess. I do not fear death. Death is simply another part of life as it is inevitable. Life clears away the old to make way for the new. I will never fear death because that would be no different than fearing life. Now I believe that it is time for me to end this obscenely long letter. I tend to ramble as you know by now. I'm am happy to have lived my life to the fullest. Find a stallion or mare to share memories with you, princess. Be happy and don't fear life. Live your life, Celestia.
Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle
