R is for Rarity, Rainbow, and Ridiculous
“This is ridiculous.”
“Oh, come on! This is not ridiculous! This is a date.”
“A ridiculous date,” Rarity scoffed, flipping one end of her red scarf back around her neck after it slipped off for what must have been the third time that evening.
“Okay, seriously, every time you flip that thing my entire vision goes red and it’s reeaaallly distracting.” Rainbow Dash squinted her eyes at Rarity, and Rarity found it difficult to withhold a smile. It was a smirk, really; she’d chosen a scarf for the very dramatic functionality it allowed.
And did she ever need dramatic functionality on dates with Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow mimicked Rarity’s earlier scoff, but instead of throwing the end of a scarf – which she lacked entirely – around her neck, she picked up her drink and slurped it loudly through the straw.
“Rainbow!” Rarity hissed in a loud whisper. She chanced a quick glance around the restaurant to be sure no one else had heard, and after offering apologetic, nervous smiles to a few other patrons, turned back to her date. “Must you behave so brashly? This is a fine dining establishment.”
“Maybe on your end,” Rainbow mumbled, leaning so far back in her seat that for a brief moment, Rarity feared that she would next swing her legs up and set her feet squarely on the table. Thankfully, Rainbow made no such motion, even if she did toss three French fries up into the air and catch them in her mouth in a manner most unrefined. “C’mon, just chill out.”
“That’s easy for you to say. It’s slightly more socially acceptable to sit alone in a fast food restaurant talking to your phone than it is to do the same in an upscale French restaurant.”
Rarity stared pointedly at Rainbow’s image through her phone, and for what was – for Rainbow, anyway – a long moment, Rainbow’s careless posture straightened slightly. The moment, unfortunately, was finite; Rainbow’s slouching returned, accompanied by a shrug. “Hey, but we both got our way, right?” When Rarity didn’t respond, Rainbow tried again. “Y’know? ‘Way to compromise, Rainbow!’ You get your soufflé, I get my burger? Something? Anything?”
“No, no, you’re right,” Rarity conceded, lifting her hands, palms open. She opened her mouth to speak, but the arrival of the waiter stopped her, and she sheepishly lowered her hands as he set her coq au vin down in front of her and paused a moment to stare at the glowing screen of her cellphone impassively. Rarity watched him tensely until he departed, then glanced down at her dish and continued, “This is definitely . . . a compromise.”
Though the lighting in the French restaurant Rarity sat in was far dimmer than the fluorescent ambiance of the fast food joint Rainbow Dash was in, it wasn’t hard for her to see and pick up on the subtle cues of disappointment that Rarity exuded. And if she’d stopped exaggerating that disappointment, let it sink down to the depths of subtleness – well, now Rainbow had done it.
“You are right, though,” Rarity said after a long moment of uncomfortable silence. She readjusted her phone against the makeshift stand she’d constructed out of a pair of salt and pepper shakers so that Rainbow Dash could still see her even with the visual barrier of the dish between them, and dipped her spoon into the broth. “You are far too reckless and brash to ever be presentable in such a place.”
Rainbow’s mouth dropped open.
“Honestly!” Rarity laughed, stirring the broth around and pouring a few spoonfuls over the pieces of chicken and vegetables in the dish. “Getting you, of all people, to dress up nicely, speak politely, and make it through a three-course meal without spending the whole wait time flicking paper footballs across the table? Can you even imagine?”
“I totally—” Rainbow stopped herself, set her teeth together tightly, then bit the inside of her lip. No, admittedly, she couldn’t imagine. “Can you imagine getting you to loosen up and just enjoy a sloppy meal for once without getting all fussy over it? And anyway, why would I wanna bother with all that dumb frou frou stuff, anyway?”
“I was thinking you might have an idea. You are, after all, dating me.”
“You’re dating me.”
“So I am.” Rarity set the spoon down and grinned. “Are we at an impasse, Rainbow Dash?”
Now it was Rainbow’s turn to laugh. She sat up straight in her booth, pulled her ponytail behind her shoulder, and pushed her tray full of the remnants of her meal aside to lean closer to the phone and Rarity’s image. “Y’know, I think you’re right, too.”
“I am?” Rarity raised her eyebrows.
“Yeah.” Rainbow grabbed the balled-up burger wrapper off the tray and tossed it behind her into the trash bin without so much as a glance. Rarity rolled her eyes, and Rainbow pretended not to notice. “This is ridiculous. Like, look at you, sitting all alone without me to totally complement your over-the-top . . . what’s the word . . . aesthetic.”
“Oh, my aesthetic is over-the-top. I see.”
“Anyway, for your sake, I guess next time we can do the fancy French place thing together. Since it’s not socially acceptable to do the video chat date there, or whatever.”
Rarity hmmed, tapped a finger against her cheek with one hand, and played with the fringe of her scarf with the other, as if very seriously considering the offer. Rainbow hid a smile. Of course she’d accept, and Rainbow could totally make it up to her while saving face in deference to a place she’d normally never be caught—
“No.”
“No?”
“Absolutely not.” Again, the end of the red scarf flipped over Rarity’s shoulder, and she took a bite of her coq au vin before continuing. “Imagine the disaster! I have a headache just thinking about it.”
So much for making it up to her.
“What fun is there in doing something neither of us enjoy when we can do something we both enjoy?” Rarity continued. “You really can’t see how ridiculous it is for the two of us to be eating at different restaurants because of our mutual stubbornness?”
“Well . . .” Rainbow hesitated, glancing toward the tray of trash set just enough to the side that Rarity wouldn’t have to see it on her end of the video feed, and then back to her less-than-ideal view of Rarity behind the soup bowl. “Okay, so maybe it wasn’t my best. Scratch it off the Awesome Ideas list.”
“There’s a list, is there?” Rarity inquired, tilting her head just slightly and only making eye contact with the broth dripping off her spoon. The corners of her mouth turned up just slightly enough that Rainbow Dash blinked and missed it.
“No, there isn’t a list! Who do I look like, Twilight or something? And don’t answer that.”
At the indignant reply, Rarity’s slight smile became an evidently actual, real smile, and she cleared her throat as she made a show of covering her mouth with the edge of her scarf as if the restaurant she sat in suffered from a sudden cold draft. The sight, despite Rarity’s obvious attempt to hide it, eased away some of the awkwardness between them and, more importantly, inspired a new Awesome Idea.
Sitting up straight, Dash grabbed her phone and held it a bit too close to her face. “Buuut, I’d totally hire Twi to write that list ‘cause I’ve got an aaaweesooomeee oneee!”
Of course, Rarity had every right to be wary when Rainbow Dash announced – loudly enough that Rarity had to cover her phone’s speaker two syllables in – she had another “awesome idea.” It wasn’t, after all, as if Rainbow’s track record was a shining beacon for Rarity to believe in. But she resigned herself to her romantic fate because, truly, what could be worse than a video chat date in two separate restaurants? (If one could call a fast food joint a ‘restaurant’.)
A small part of her still braced for worse, anyway.
Perhaps she’d been too hard on Rainbow, though. It wasn’t as if, going into the wild rollercoaster of dating RD, she’d never been warned that her dear, darling friend could be a little— well— unorthodox, especially in romantic endeavours. If anything, Rarity thought, perhaps, she was lucky that her girlfriend tried to be any kind of romantic at all. It was not at all Rarity’s brand of romantic, but . . . perhaps, she’d been too quick to assume it meant Rainbow didn’t try.
Or perhaps Rarity was entirely right and dinner at two separate restaurants because neither wanted to compromise on the other’s tastes was ridiculous.
“Hey, Rares, you can stop daydreaming now. We’re here.”
Train of thought derailed, Rarity glanced over to see Rainbow Dash cordially holding open the door to Sugarcube Corner, albeit with a foot tapping against the ground. Goodness, she’d been so lost in thought she hadn’t even been aware of her surroundings as the two walked together through town from their rendezvous point at the bus stop to – well – Sugarcube Corner. Offering Rainbow a small smile as one might tip their hat in gratitude, Rarity walked past her, and stopped.
“Oh, my . . .” Rarity breathed.
Rather than the light of its usual hanging lamps, the dining area was bathed in the soft glow emanating from the string lights hanging from the ceiling and draped along the walls. An empty table for two stood in the middle of the room, adorned by marzipan rose petals, sugar work gems, and battery-operated tea lights. All around them, patrons carried on with their meals and treats and drinks, chatting and studying and dining as if it were any other evening at the café while an upbeat pop song drifted out from the speakers.
It was . . .
Entirely contrary to every single preconceived notion Rarity ever had about candlelit dinners.
And it was gorgeous.
Rarity turned to Rainbow Dash. “Did you—”
Before she could finish the question, Rarity was interrupted by an exuberant ‘surprise!’, and she turned to see Pinkie Pie waving zealously at her from no more than three feet away.
“I kinda called it in,” Rainbow admitted, returning Pinkie’s wave for Rarity. “Thanks, Pinks.”
“Omigosh, don’t even mention it! The lights are always up anyway, I just don’t turn them on except for special occasions. And I had leftover cupcake decorations. And the Cakes wouldn’t let me close up early or turn on that fancy classical music. Sorry, Dashie.”
“Always up?” Rarity repeated slowly.
“Of course, silly.” Pinkie waved her hand and laughed, as if Rarity should have noticed before. “You’re not the only ones who like having dates here, y’know. Except I always have to wait until the end of my shift. Lucky you, I get to serve you guys! I can’t do that with—wait, yes I do.”
“I—I’m a bit lost, darling,” Rarity said.
“Never mind her,” Rainbow interjected, pushing Rarity toward the empty table in the middle of the room and pulling the chair out for her all while motioning with her head for Pinkie to do just that and serve them. Pinkie giggled and obliged.
Rarity sat, let Rainbow push her chair back in, and watched as her date sat across from her. She bridged her hands together and set her chin atop them, smiling.
“What?” Rainbow asked.
“Nothing,” Rarity replied, tilting her head with the slight shrug of a single shoulder. “It’s simply that this is a bit—what’s that phrase you used?—over the top for you, isn’t it?”
Her smile widened to a grin.
“Hey, you heard Pinkie, she already had this stuff ready to go for, you know, her own stuff.” Rainbow rolled her eyes as she said this, but the tiniest bit of fluster found its way out through her tone despite her best efforts to sound indifferent. It wasn’t as if she could just admit that seeing Rarity’s eyes light up as they walked into Sugarcube Corner made Rainbow feel something. Like electricity in her veins. Most people called it butterflies, she guessed, but butterflies weren’t really her jam.
Electricity at least sounded a little cool.
Rarity looked ready to retort with a factually-backed argument a la Twilight Sparkle (that girl could be such a bad influence), but said nothing as Pinkie returned with hot chocolate and cheesecake for two (plain for Rarity, cookies and cream for Rainbow). Rainbow thanked her – vocally for the dessert, silently for the interruption.
“Anyway, I told you I had an actual awesome idea this time,” Rainbow digressed as Pinkie disappeared once more. She was inclined to give her date a knowing smirk – but surprised herself by what came out of her mouth instead. “I know earlier kind of sucked for you so I thought I’d do something more your speed. Kinda.”
“But without an actual fancy restaurant.” Rarity raised her eyebrows. “Impressive, ma chère! In all honesty,” she continued, pushing her fork into her slice of cheesecake, “I would have been as delighted to just come here with you.”
“Are you saying I totally wasted—”
“But, this is—well, it’s above and beyond. You put effort in—sort of. That’s all I want, darling.”
“And you didn’t totally flip your lid about it not being your dream candlelight dinner date. These candles aren’t even real,” Rainbow laughed, flicking the plastic flame of a tea light and watching it skid across the table before Rarity caught it. Dash smiled. “It’s cool when you just . . . chill out about things, Rares.”
“I suppose we both have our weaknesses.” Rarity glanced up, eyes meeting Rainbow’s in a moment of sincerity – until she broke it by lifting another piece of cheesecake to her lips. “Presently, mine is this delectable cheesecake.”
Huh, so Rarity could joke around and be light-hearted and not entirely uptight. Rainbow laughed again, and it must have been infectious, since Rarity began to giggle so hard she had to set her fork down – and for a minute, Rainbow just stopped to watch her. Over-the-top aesthetic or not, Rarity had a cute laugh – and she did look pretty nice in her red scarf now that she wasn’t using it to blind Dash – and even if Dash hated to admit it, Rarity had been right: it was nicer having a date together.
She must have been staring pretty hard, since Rarity quickly stopped laughing and gave her girlfriend a curious look. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” Rainbow shrugged, leaning back in her chair. “Just thinking that I’m never gonna suggest using our phones for a date like, ever again.”
“Hmm.” Rarity looked at her impassively. She pushed her plate and cup closer to Rainbow’s side of the table, thereafter repositioning herself and her chair next to her. Smoothing her hair out with one hand and readjusting her scarf with the other, she asked, “Are you sure you want to promise that?”
“Uh . . .” Rainbow glanced around the café, then back at Rarity. Shouldn’t the answer to that question be ‘duh’? Somehow, though, she knew it wasn’t. “Give me a—”
“Smile!”
Before Rainbow could react, let alone smile, Rarity had pulled her in closer and snapped a photo with her phone, effectively stunning Rainbow’s vision with the bright flash.
“Oh dear,” Rarity frowned. “I left the flash on auto. Look how washed-out this picture is.”
Rarity waved the phone in front of Rainbow’s face, but Rainbow was still seeing white. She squinted, trying to tell if it was the picture or her vision, but Rarity had already taken the phone away.
“Let’s try that again. And do pose this time, darling, you’re slouching!”
“This is ridiculous, Rares.”
“This is not ridiculous; this is a date.”
“A ridiculous date,” Rainbow grinned as Rarity finally snapped a winning selfie.
Lowering the phone down, Rarity nodded approvingly and looked back up to Rainbow as she waited for the photo to post. “Incredibly enough, one I want to be on! Oh! I didn’t even take a picture of the cheesecake. To think I already ate half of it, too. Dash, be a dear and lean back and out of the light.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes, picking her phone up to scroll through as she leaned back and let Rarity take her foodie pictures. She stopped as she came to the picture of the two of them, barely even five minutes old, smiled to herself—
and sincerely hoped their next date would be twice as ridiculous.
