Comfortable?

by Chadbane

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Random, Crossover
Length: 2754

Twilight Sparkle wakes up aboard a First Order Star-Destroyer where she finds herself being interrogated by Kylo Ren. The dude is totally not a Sith lord, but he's a darn good extractor of information! What will happen next?! Read on to find out!

Twilight Sparkle wakes up aboard a First Order Star-Destroyer where she finds herself being interrogated by Kylo Ren. Randomness ensues.

Author's Notes -

Is this stupid? Yes, yes it is. Was it fun to write? Yes, yes it was. Am I sorry for writing it?

...No. No, I am not.

Note: The amazing Mr.Snarky made an awesome read-through of this book on YouTube! Go check it out and subscribe to his channel! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBwGjS0V1x0

Published 2017-10-21 13:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-10-21 13:20:06 UTC

Comfortable?

Twilight Sparkle blinked, temporarily blinded by a bright white light and a blurred image in her peripheral. Cold iron or some similar material fastened her to a vertical table that made it virtually impossible to move anything other than her head. Twilight tried to speak, but a burning sensation in her throat caused her to squeeze her eyes shut in an attempt to suppress the pain until it went away. In the process her mind began to slip from consciousness, the result of apparent blood loss taking its toll; until she was quickly sobered by the sudden presence of a demonic voice echoing in the chamber around her.

"I had no idea we had the Princess of Friendship on board," it said. "Comfortable?"

Twilight shook her head and attempted to center her vision as her eyes slowly adjusted to the bright light and the darkness beyond. Eventually her eyes were able to make out a terrifying bipedal creature seated in the shadows clothed in black and fitted with a menacing mask.

"N-not really," she croaked groggily, making it evident that she was still tittering on the tip of consciousness.

The creature, which had been leaning forward in an engaging manner, all of a sudden took himself back as if to convey shock.

"Really? I was told that was the best interrogation table on the Ship. Would you like a pillow?"

Twilight Sparkle winced at a sudden jolt of pain that shot down her neck as she tilted her head.

"W-what?"

The creature stood up and walked out of the room. A few moments later, the doors whooshed open and the creature stepped back inside--carrying a small fluffy white pillow in its arms.

"Here, try this." it said, approaching Twilight and tucking the pillow beneath her neck. "Better?"

Twilight closed her eyes and nodded, soaking in the pure bliss and fluffiness of the pillow even as her neck continued to ache.

"Ooohh," she whispered, forcing a little smile. "Mm-much better. Th-thanks."

"You're welcome," the creature replied happily. "It's my favorite pillow. I'm glad you like it."

Twilight closed her eyes and nodded her thanks once again, though she wasn't sure why she bothered. The creature seemed more than happy to help her. When Twilight had gathered a few moments to relax herself, she opened her eyes and made eye-contact with the creature's visor.

"Where... where am I?" She asked weakly.

"You're my guest." The creature replied cheerfully.

Twilight slightly tilted her head.

"And that would be...?"

"Aboard my ship. I've been looking forward to this day a long time."

Twilight narrowed her eyes and attempted to lean forward.

"...What do you mean?"

The creature chuckled and slowly stood up.

"When I got word that the pony we captured was none other than Princess Twilight Sparkle herself, I had no idea what to think. I'd always dreamed of meeting one of the mane six face-to-face, but I never imagined my dream would come true. But now I've met the greatest of them all. Not even my grandfather imagined that. At last, I've finished..." The creature turned around and looked over his shoulder dramatically. "...what my grandfather started."

Twilight's eyelid twitched.

"I'm sorry, what?"

The creature chuckled once again and turned around.

"I know. I feel it too. But we're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's begin the interrogation, shall we?"

Twilight shook her head.

"I must be dreaming." she muttered. "Spike!" she yelled at the ceiling. "Spike, are you there?! Spike, wake me up!"

"He can't hear, you Twilight." the creature replied in a tone much less friendly than before. "No one can."

Twilight felt a shade of color leave her face as she felt a chill run down her spine for the first time. The creature turned around slowly and started towards her--its boots echoing in the chamber like an inevitable drum.

"...W-what do you want from me?" she asked after a short pause.

The creature leaned forward until its face was merely inches from Twilight's and stopped there for just a second.

"You know what I want." the creature replied. "It's the only answer any of us want..."

Twilight bit her lip nervously, unsure what to expect next.

"Who..." the creature began, lifting his right hand to eerily to caress the princess's face "Is..." his hand traveled up her cheek, hovering just above her brow. "the..." the hand traveled downwards towards her muzzle, the feeling of inevitably building with each passing moment. "best..." it stopped at the tip of Twilight's nose. "...PONY?"

Twilight blinked.

"I'm sorry, what?"

There was a pause--then the creature promptly booped Twilight on the nose.

"Hey!" Twilight cried, scrunching her nose. "What was that?!"

The creature chuckled.

"You are!" he giggled, booping the princess on the nose once again. "You are!"

"Hey!" she shook her head. "Cut it out!"

The creature laughed and took a step back.

"I've always wanted to do that." he said. "Are you more comfortable now, or less?"

"Less!" Twilight cried. "So much less! In fact, I'm so uncomfortable right now, I'm about to puke! Who are you, anyway?!"

The creature froze and didn't reply. Instead, after a while, he reached up and took off his mask, much to alicorn's surprise. Twilight stared agape at the creature's face beneath, unsure how to process its true appearance. The creature, who Twilight now realized was a human being, appeared to be a male in his early twenty's with a full head of flowing raven hair. Twilight couldn't decide if the man was handsome or not, due to the uneven proportions of his face, but she didn't have the time to dwell on the matter long enough before the human spoke up.

"...Better?" he asked, expressionlessly, though there was an eagerness for acceptance in his voice.

Twilight blinked for what must have been the seventh time in the past ten seconds and shook her head.

"Uh... I'm not sure how to process this." she admitted. "That scary mask is such a contrast to your actual face that it's actually pretty shocking."

The human nodded slowly and looked down at his mask.

"Is... that a yes?" he asked after a short silence.

Twilight tilted her head.

"Weirdly enough? Yes. You're a lot less intimidating without that mask. Kinda cute, even--for a human, that is."

The human looked up and made eye contact with the princess. An awkward silence followed between the two that lasted a couple of seconds before the human cleared his throat and attempted to speak

"...D-do you want to be friends?" he asked, nervously. "I'd make a good friend."

Twilight blinked, once again caught off guard by that humans question. She considered abruptly refusing and dealing with the consequences of her decision but decided against it when she focused into the eyes of the human and found a profound loneliness eating up his soul.

"You know what?" she replied, still uncomfortable but visibly making an effort to overcome the awkwardness. "I'm still a little confused by this whole situation, and honestly it still doesn't make much sense... but I am the princess of friendship, so..." she closed her eyes. "...yes?" she whispered, peaking open one of them.

"Yes!" the human cried, pumping his fist into the air. "That's what I'm talking about! Suck on that, Han Solo!"

Twilight Sparkle blinked once again.

"...Who's Han Solo?"

General Hux stepped onto the bridge of his personal Star Destroy The Finalizer and made his way to the viewports on the far end. An officer who was already standing there reading a data-pad took notice of his presence and saluted.

"General Hux, sir!" he said, offering him the data-pad in his hand. "Here is the information on the prisoner you requested. We matched his file with a known resistance pilot--Poe Dameron."

"Excellent," General Hux smirked, accepting the data-pad from the officer. "Supreme Leader Snoke will be most pleased. Has Ren already begun interrogating the prisoner?"

"Yes, sir," the officer replied. "I saw him off an hour ago. We have a live feed in the interrogation chamber right now if you want to have a look."

"Splendid. Put it through on the center console."

"Yes, sir."

General Hux made his way over to the center console in the middle of the bridge and waited for an image to come up on the holoprojector. Eventually one did--but not the one that General Hux wanted to see.

"Lieutenant, what am I looking at?" General Hux asked skeptically.

The officer next to him took a look and narrowed his eyes.

"It appears to be the pilot, sir."

"I can see that," General Hux replied, his tone conveying annoyance. "But where is Ren? Why isn't he interrogating the Prisoner?"

The officer gulped and cleared his throat.

"Uh-oh."

"What?" General Hux turned to the officer.

"Apologies, sir," the officer said. "I... think I may have directed Ren to the wrong prisoner to interrogate."

General Hux's eye twitched.

"The wrong... prisoner?"

"Uh..." the officer tugged his collar. "Yes, sir."

General Hux's eye twitched again.

"WHO ELSE IS THERE TO INTERROGATE?!"

"...So you see, that's why my OC is a pegasus, because I've always heard my grandfather was good at flying," Kylo Ren explained as Twilight Sparkle rested in his lap and allowed the human to comb her mane. "He was a great flyer. Better than Rainbow Dash, I think."

"Really?" Twilight chuckled, amused by the thought. "Now that is an interesting theory."

Kylo Ren chuckled along.

"Yes, I suppose it is. In truth, I know very little about my grandfather, despite what Supreme Leader Snoke has told me. My parents never wanted to talk about him either, so I just left the subject alone, for the most part."

"Well, I'm sure they would tell you more if you asked them." Twilight replied. "Have you considered telling them how you feel?"

Kylo Ren sighed.

"They don't understand me the way you do. Nobody does, it seems."

"Oh, don't say that!" Twilight frowned. "Parents can be very understanding. Sometimes it just takes a little vulnerability with them, that's all."

Kylo Ren sighed once again and stopped combing the princesse's mane.

"I guess... I just don't know what to say to them when I see them."

Twilight smiled.

"That's easy. Just tell them the truth. Parents can be--"

"Very understanding," Kylo Ren rolled his eyes, chuckling. "I know. You sound like a broken holo-recording."

Twilight gasped playfully.

"I do not!"

"Yes, you do." Kylo grinned.

The two shared a heartfelt laugh before calming themselves and becoming serious again.

"Kylo," Twilight said after a brief silence. "I'm so sorry to hear that it's hard for you to approach your parents. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Kylo Ren gave another sigh.

"I don't know. Can you go back in time and stop my dad from sending me away?"

Twilight smiled sadly.

"I've had bad experiences with time travel. But you know what? I think I may just have the thing to get your mind off this."

Kylo Ren lifted a brow as the Princess got up from his lap and levitated the comb in his hand to the opposite of the room and walked over to his side.

"Here," she said, a minor blush adorning her cheeks, "Relax a bit. It's better when you don't make it awkward."

Kylo Ren retained his skeptical expression but did as the princess said.

"What are we doing?" he asked as the princess pushed him down slowly and climbed on top of him.

"In Equestria, this is a form of therapy," Twilight replied bashfully. "I know it's a bit unusual for humans, but It's helped me to cope with a lot of stress in the past. Do... do you still want to try it?"

Kylo Ren considered the pros and cons of cuddling with an alien pony Princess voiced by Tara Strong and decided there were definitely more pros than cons. Giving a single nod, Ren allowed the princess to lay down on top of him and to commence the snuggling she had implied.

"This... isn't so bad." Kylo Ren said after a few moments when Twilight had gotten comfortable. "I almost feel like we've been friends forever and we've just been apart from each other a long time."

"I'll admit this is definitely not how I saw myself passing the time when I first awoke," Twilight chuckled as she rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. "I don't think I've ever felt so cozy in the arms of a stranger."

"I'd ship it!" came the voice of a thousand fans, but then were suddenly silenced.

Kylo Ren smiled and closed his eyes; wallowing in the princesses warmth and softness. He was about to make a comment about her fur, when all of a sudden things took a complete 180 (as they've already done a few times in this story) when General Hux marched through the door to the interrogation chamber and froze at the sight of Kylo Ren and the Princess of Friendship cuddling together on the floor of the room.

"...Ren?!" General Hux cried in bewilderment. "What's the meaning of this?!?"

Kylo Ren and Twilight Sparkle looked up at General Hux in alarm before exchanging glances with one another.

"Huuux!" Kylo Ren whined, turning to the General with a blush on his cheeks. "Get out of my room!"

General Hux ignored his question and gave the young man a look.

"Does Supreme Leader Snoke know what you're doing?" he asked pointedly, dignifying the mare now in Ren's lap with only a single glance. "If he finds out that you've been--"

"Yeah, well, you're not Snoke!" Kylo huffed, crossing his arms. "Gosh! Now get out of my room!"

"Watch your tone!" Hux replied angrily. "Whether you choose to accept my authority or not is irrelevant to the situation! You will do what I say now or I will personally tell on you to Supreme Leader Snoke!"

Kylo Ren grunted and looked away.

"You can't scare me! I'm a Knight of Ren."

General Hux frowned and began to count; "One..."

Kylo scoffed and continued to look away.

"Not gonna work."

"Two!" General Hux said, frustration building up in his voice.

"Nope. Not working."

"Three!" Hux cried, his face turning red. "That does it, Ren! I'm telling Snoke!"

"NO!" Kylo Ren cried, reaching out with the force in order to freeze Hux in place. "I won't let you!"

General Hux felt his joints lock in place as he attempted to step out of the chamber.

"Ah can't mohve" General Hux said through clenched teeth. "Youh arh so groundad!"

"Kylo, stop! That's enough!" Twilight jumped up from Kylo Ren's lap and lowered his arm--unfreezing Hux in the process. "Fighting won't solve anything! Now you two make up or I will personally tell Snoke on both of you!"

General Hux and Kylo Ren stared blankly at each other for a few seconds before nodding slowly and muttering; 'Sorry' to each other.

"That's better," Twilight said. "Now, you--Hux, is it?"

"Yes?" The ginger general replied.

"What is it you want from Kylo?"

General Hux narrowed his eyes.

"Kylo Ren is supposed to be interrogating a prisoner right now--the Pilot we captured on Jakku."

Twilight lifted a brow.

"Is that true?" she asked, turning to Kylo Ren.

Kylo Ren nodded slowly.

"Yes..."

"Oh..." the princess replied. "Well, then you should complete your responsibility. A good friend is always loyal to his work, as well as his friends."

Kylo Ren nodded again, although disappointment was evident on his face.

"If you say so. But afterwards...?"

Twilight gave an assuring smile.

"Don't worry. I'll be here when you get back."

Kylo Ren smiled back and walked out of the chamber.

"Thank you, pony." General Hux said as he watched Kylo Ren exit the room. "That would have been a nightmare to handle on my own. I appreciate your help."

Twilight nodded thoughtfully and took a step forward.

"Of course. Now if you don't mind, I have a question for you."

General Hux turned to the Alicorn Princess and gave a smile.

"Very well. Ask away."

"How the hay did I get here?!"

THE END

Author's Note

I know this is stupid. But what can I say? I'm a simple man. I see pony--I write pony. I see Star Wars--I write Star Wars. I see a weird Star Wars My Little Pony Hybrid--I write weird Star Wars My Little Pony Hybrid.

Kylo Ren is best moody teenager. Twilight Sparkle is best pony. 'Nuff said.