What's a Corndog?

by Sneakyfox55

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 899

Pinkie tells Twilight about a rare food known as "corndogs." Twilight is not amused.

One day, when Twilight Sparkle goes to Sugar Cube Corner, asking Pinkie Pie for a cake for her friend Lyra's birthday, Pinkie excitedly tells her about a new food she found out about, that a gang of rogues had brought to her.
Pinkie fails to see how suspicious this food really is. The fact that rogues (who weren't even allowed to live in Equestria; they're rogues, for Celestia's sake!) gave her a rare food that only they had, and no pony else knew about is completely fine with her. Twilight however DOES realize this, and instantly recognizes this food to be known as "corndogs." But she doesn't have the heart to tell her friend that this uncommon edible treat is actually some ponies' friends.

I have no regrets.

Please note: This fic is just for the sake of comedy. It's not really meant to be taken seriously. And I hope that you don't.

Please... Just don't.

WARNING: Contains graphic content. Read at your own risk. You may be scarred for life. :pinkiecrazy:

Published 2016-09-15 19:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-15 19:20:01 UTC

So... What Exactly IS a Corndog, Twilight?

Have you ever heard of a corndog?

I'm sure you have. After all, they are a famous food.

Well, at least in the human world.

In a world far more fantasy-like than our own, this is definitely a different matter.

Well, I'm here to tell you of a story. A story that features that same fact.

I hope I don't ruin your childhood.

"So, did you get the cake yet?" Rainbow Dash asked Twilight Sparkle.

It was Lyra Heartstring's Birthday, and most of Ponyville was at her house (well, except for Lyra herself), getting ready and planning for the party that they were going to throw for her.

Twilight shook her head. "Not yet, but I'm going to get it, trust me. Hey, where's Pinkie, by the way? You would think, of all ponies, she would be here."

Rainbow shrugged. "All I heard is that she was too busy working at Sugar Cube Corner."

"Weird. Speaking of that, might as well go get the cake now."

"'Kay. See ya!" The pegasus waved to the alicorn as she trotted out the door.

Twilight raised her hoof to knock on the door of Sugar Cube Corner, when it suddenly flung open.

"Twilight!" Pinkie Pie said excitedly, bouncing up and down. "Finally, you're here!"

The alicorn blinked. "Did you know I was coming?" Her friend nodded.

"Yep! You're here to get a cake for Lyra's birthday, right?" she questioned.

Twilight blinked. "Well, um, yes... But how did you know?"

"Just a hunch!" Pinkie Pie grabbed Twilight, making her let out a small gasp of surprise, and pulled her into the bakery.

"So, is it just you working today?" the purple pony asked.

Pinkie nodded. "Yep! Mr. and Mrs. Cake had to go on a business trip, and they had to take Pound and Pumpkin with them, so they left me by myself to take care of the store while they were away."

"Oh. Well, anyway, what about the cake?"

"Oh, right! Be right back!" Pinkie said before dashing off. After a few seconds of her zipping around, she returned with a aqua green cake. It was decorated with white and pale blue swirly frosting, and a mini lyra (as in the instrument, not the pony) sat atop it.

"Thanks, Pinkie. It looks great!" Twilight said with a smile.

"No problem, Twilight!" She barely hesitated before she changed the subject. "Oh, I almost forgot! I gotta show you something!" Without anymore details or words, she dashed off again, leaving a bewildered Twilight Sparkle.

What is she up to this time? she thought.

A minute later, Pinkie returned. What she held in her hoof confused the purple alicorn.

"Um... What.. What is that?" she questioned warily.

"I don't really know!" Pinkie said. "But guess who I got it from?"

I'm probably gonna regret asking this, Twilight thought before answering her friend. "Okay, who?"

"A gang of rogues sold me it, along with thousands of them!" Pinkie exclaimed all-too cheerfully. "They told me they're actually a food, too!"

"Wait, what?! Rogues?!"

"I know, right? Isn't that interesting?"

Twilight was about to answer, but then she gave the strange food a second glance... And she realized something.

She had learned about this food when she spent her time in the "human" world at Canterlot High.

This object... This thing, that sat atop a stick... Was indeed a corndog.

Her pupils dilated in shock at her realization. She opened her mouth, at a loss for words.

"Pinkie...!" was all she could get out.

"Yes, Twilight?" Pinkie inquired, a wide grin on her face, and completely oblivious to the fact of what exactly she had in her grip.

"T-That's... It's... That's a corndog!" Twilight's voice quavered, but Pinkie didn't notice.

The pink earth pony cocked her head. "A corndog?" Twilight nodded quickly. "What's a corndog?"

"It's a... It's a..." But Twilight couldn't say it. She just couldn't. She couldn't ruin her friend's innocence.

Pinkie giggled. "What's the matter, Twilight? Does a parasprite have your tongue or something?"

Well, anyway, guess what I'm doing with these 'corndogs?'" Pinkie asked eagerly.

Twilight gulped. "No... What?"

Her horror heightened as her friend continued. "I'm gonna sell them from Sugar Cube Corner! That way, everypony can try this food and see just how good this food really is!"

The alicorn's mouth hung open. "WHAT..."

She stopped dead when Pinkie Pie took a big bite from the corndog. "Hmm, good!" the pink pony exclaimed with her mouth full, crumbs spilling out in turn.

Twilight suddenly let out a scream, then she dashed out of Sugar Cube Corner as fast as she could, and forgetting about the cake.

Pinkie blinked, watching the alicorn streaming away from the shop.

"Was it something I said?"

Rainbow Dash was at the window back in Lyra's house, searching for Twilight.

Come on, where is she... Lyra is going to be here any minute now!

She felt a pang of relief when she saw her galloping towards the house, but annoyance replaced it when she realized the alicorn had no cake.

She flew out of the house towards her friend. "Hey, what gives?! Where's the cake?!" Rainbow exclaimed angrily.

Twilight's answer was a whimper.

"Seriously, though, Twi! What happened?"

The alicorn didn't meet her gaze. "You don't want to know," she whispered. "You just don't want to know!"