Strong Bad Receives a Friendship Report
ts_letter.exe
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic characters. They are owned by Hasbro.
I do not own Homestarrunner.com. It is owned by the Brothers Chaps.
“Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle!”
With a flourish of his quill, Spike finished writing out the friendship report that Twilight had dictated to him. “All set!” he announced and rolled up the piece of parchment into a tight bundle.
“Great!” Twilight cheered and gave a knowing nod to her assistant. “Go ahead and send it.”
“Roger!”
Concealed in some nearby bushes, a pair of eyes watched with growing excitement as Spike prepared to douse the letter with his magical breath. Luck was with the mysterious figure as Twilight and Spike had decided to write their friendship report outside rather than within the confines of their library. This would make the figure’s plan that much easier.
The figure tensed its body, ready to spring forward at the right moment. It held its breath as Spike let loose a stream of green fire that consumed the parchment, creating a magical cloud of ash that began to drift away.
“NOW!”
Twilight Sparkle and Spike jumped in shock as a multi-colored streak zipped past them. The duo gasped as they caught sight of Rainbow Dash speeding towards the retreating letter with a thundercloud in her front hooves. They could do nothing but stare as Dash flew in front of the magic ash, quickly place the thundercloud into position and gave it a mighty kick. A bolt of lightning erupted from the cloud and struck the ash. There was a flash of blinding light, forcing Twilight and Spike to look away. When they were able to turn back around there was no sign of the letter and only a pegasus laughing her head off on top of the thundercloud.
“I did it! Bwah ha ha ha! I’m so awesome!” Dash rolled around to get a look at the victims of her prank. “You-you should see the looks on your f-faces!” She once again lapsed into uncontrollable mirth.
Rainbow Dash’s victory laugh ended abruptly when the cloud she was laying on magically poofed out of existence. “Whoa!” she cried out before landing in a heap on the ground.
“Rainbow!” Twilight yelled down at her friend. She stood over the pegasus with a deep frown marring her muzzle. “Why did you do that?!”
Dash groaned and slowly picked herself up. She cocked her head side to side, causing a few pops in her neck to be heard, before addressing Twilight. “Chillax, Twilight. I just wanted to see what would happen if I could hit your letter with a little bit of lightning.
“And did you see that?” Dash continued. She pointed a hoof at where the letter used to be. “It went BANG! I wasn’t expecting that but it was so cool!”
Twilight wasn’t so amused. “Rainbow, you shouldn’t have done that. Now I have to write another report. Plus, there’s no knowing what could have happened to the letter. Or where it could end up.”
“Oh, relax, Twi. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Elsewhere...
“My little e-mail~
My little e-mail~
How I want to check you~”
CLICK!
“Dear Princess Celestia. Today I-”
The wrestling man stopped reading his computer screen and shook his head in exasperation. “It’s going to be one of those e-mails, isn’t it?”
Strong Bad, decked out in his customary red and black mask, red boxing gloves and black pants, gazed back up at his sleek and shiny Compé screen and sighed. “All right, I’ll play along. Ahem:
“Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that friendship is a give and take. You have to give to your friends just as much as they give to you in order for friendship to work. It’s nice to receive a gift or a favor from your friends from time to time but you can’t forget to return the gester same to them. It doesn’t matter how big the favor is or the cost of the gift, just that the thought counts.
Your Faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle”
Strong Bad stared at the screen for a moment, letting the words sink in. Finally, he raised his gloved hands and began typing. While he typed, he said aloud, “Dear Twilight Dorkle. Today I’ve learned that I need to look into updating my spam filter. It’s this kind of crap that I’m trying to keep away from me.”
With a click of a button on his keyboard, Strong Bad brought up his latest spam program. On the screen it read:
Spammalot V0.000002 by Kristie
Programmed entirely in Dad’s Man Cave
“Ugh, not even out of beta yet,” Strong Bad grumbled. Another click and the screen changed back to his e-mail program. “Who were you trying to send this to? Celestia? Sounds like some kind of skin condition. Or a telescope.
“And what’s with the strikethrough? What, you felt too lazy to hit your delete key but you took the time to highlight it so you could show off your crazy WordPad skills? I hope for your sake that this princess of yours doesn’t keep an MLA handbook nearby.
“But you know, you might be onto something with this give and take thing, TwiSpi. The friendship levels around here have been dropping like a horse drops... well, let’s just say the Poopsmith has been working overtime lately. I suppose I should take your advice and try to get everyone around here to regain the magic of friendship. In fact... “ He stopped typing his response and hopped off of his stool, Chairscoot, and walked out of his house.
Strong Bad didn’t have to go far to find his first experiment in friendship. The Stick, a simple brown twig stuck in the ground, was always a good spot to find someone. “Hey there, Homestar,” the masked man greeted a tall albino dressed in a red shirt with a white star on it. Atop Homestar’s head was a blue, red, and white propeller cap. “Whatcha, doin’?”
“Oh, hey, Strong Bad,” Homestar Runner replied back and smiled down at the new arrival. “Oh, I was just standing around, waiting for something to happen. You know, the usual.”
“Well, you’re in luck as I’ve got something right here.” Strong Bad lifted up one of his gloved hands. A pair of old and moldy boxing gloves hanging from a thin string dangled from it. Homestar was the easiest mark around and would be perfect for what he had in mind. “I got an e-mail that said that friends need to share with each other. So, I’ll give you my prized set of boxing gloves if you give me a hundred dollars.”
“Really?” Homestar asked with growing excitement. “Well, that seems fair! I’ve always wanted to own a piece of authentic Strong Bad memorabilia! After all, friends got to care and friends got to share!” He stepped forward and a one-hundred dollar appeared before him.
Strong Bad quickly took the bill and stuffed it in his pants pocket. “Nice doing business with ya, Homestar! Here’s your boxing gloves!”
Homestar lovingly took the gloves and held them close to his chest. “It’s like a dream come true!”
“Yep!” Strong Bad agreed. He discretely hid a chuckle as he began walking away. “I can feel the friendship growing between us already!”
As Strong Bad searched for his next target to spread friendship, he spotted a pink figure hopping towards him. Strong Bad blinked when the figure reached him and was revealed to be a pony, with cotton candy mane and tail.
“Um,” Strong Bad said. “Are you some kind of new character around here?”
The wrestle man stepped back when the pony hopped into the air and gasped. The pony shot off into the distance without uttering a word.
“Why do I get the feeling that I haven’t seen the last of that... horse?”
Later in the day, Strong Bad staggered back into his computer room. His hands were full of gifts, food, trinkets, and other knick-knacks that he managed to swindle off the people he liked the least. It was all in the name of friendship and today marked a great stride in furthering its magic.
“Or at least it got me all this great swag!” Strong Bad’s muffled voice said through the pile in his hands. He dropped his new acquisitions next to his desk and sat back down in his seat to finish his e-mail.
“Thanks for the great advise, I Spi with my little Twi!” he typed and vocalized at the same time. “I can already tell that the camaraderie, togetherness, and all those other stupid words that go with friendship have risen through the roof. Things are definitely looking up around here. Why, next week, Marzipan’s going to hold a giveaway for arts and crafts and I’m going to give her a bucket full of termites! This giving and receiving thing really works!
Your troll,
Strong Bad.”
CLICK!
Spike watching in concern as Twilight completed her fiftieth revolution around the park fountain.
“Oh, where could it have gone? Who could have gotten it? What if the letter doesn’t reach the princess? I can’t think straight to write another letter!”
Spike had seen enough and he marched his way over to block Twilight’s path. “Twilight, you’re being silly again! I remember most of the letter; I can just write it out again.
“And who knows? Maybe the letter reached somepony that could really-BURP!”
Twilight shrieked and ducked her head to avoid the sudden burst of flame that came from Spike’s mouth. The pair starred as the flames began to coalesce and with a final flash of green, an envelope appeared and dropped down to the ground.
For a moment, neither of them moved. Then, Spike cautiously crept forward and picked up the envelope. On the front of the envelope there was a message that read, “Re: Give and Take.”
“What is it, Spike?” Twilight asked hesitantly as she walked up to him.
“I... think someone responded to your letter.”
“Really? Well, what does it say?”
Spike sliced the envelope open with a claw and pulled out the letter inside. He unfolded it and held it up so he could read it. “Ahem. Dear Twilight Dorkle. Today I’ve learned-”
“Twilight Dorkle?!”
Before Spike even knew what was happening, Twilight wrenched the letter out of his claws and levitated it over to herself. Her eyes scanned through the writing, her expression darkening the further she read. With a cry of rage, she crumpled up the letter and threw it to the ground.
“Who’s this Strong Bad?! How could he do such awful things to his friends?! Doesn’t he know that friendship is the most precious thing-?”
PREEEOW!
Twilight and Spike yelped from the unexpected sound right above them. They glanced up and beheld a giant piece of printer paper with the words, “Click here to e-mail strong bad,” typed across it.
Twilight blinked. “What... what does that mean?”
The End
Easter Egg:
“Wait! Wait! Don’t end the email yet!”
Pinkie Pie popped in between Twilight and Spike, knocking them over. “I’ve got everything ready for our Crossover Party!”
She looked up and noticed the paper hanging above her.
“Shoot!”
