"It's a bomb." "*gasp* Oh, NO!" *POW!*

Mr. Original’s Dictionary
Original Edition

Grief Grimace
/ɡrēf ɡriməs/
vb.

-When James/Conscience grimaces with a troubled look (esp. w/ eyes closed)

GRIEF GRIMACE

Flash
/flaSH/
vb.

-When James/Conscience moves at a super fast speed; in which a white, blinding flash of lightning* occurs
*This lightning can appear anywhere, including indoors, even when it's not possible.

***

Break-dance Kick
/brāk-dans kik/
vb.

-to stoop to a crouching position, and swing one's own legs around them in a circle

BREAK-DANCE KICK

[Theme Song]

Twilight walked down the same path she'd taken to get to the park. As she got to the bridge, three other unicorn mares approached her. The first one was a blue pony, with a darker blue mane and tail with a white streak. The second was cream-colored, with a light pink mane and tail. The third was yellow, with a turquoise mane and tail.

"There you are, Twilight!" the cream-colored spoke. James peeked out of the bag to see the source of the new voice. Fortunately, his hat helped him blend in with the shadow that the strap cast.

He saw the mare in the middle talking. "Moon Dancer is having a little get-together in the west castle courtyard. You wanna come?" the three mares leaned forward as they smiled expectantly. James almost lost his balance, when Twilight recoiled in response.

"Oh, sorry, girls. I've got a lot of studying to catch up on."

Lie..., James thought, You just read three thick-ass books, and you mean to tell me that you're still behi-- GAH!

James's thought's were interrupted again that day as Twilight suddenly made a beeline for her house.

He deadpanned at her, though she didn't notice. That's f*cked up, Twilight. You could at least tell them you're not interested. I know I would... no. No I wouldn't. He looked back at the three mares, who looked disappointed as they walked away.

"I know I've heard of the Elements of Harmony," Twilight said to herself.

James was in the left saddle bag, so he didn't see the two mares Twilight was running towards. One mare was waving at her, but in her haste, Twilight didn't even seem to notice them.

Only about three seconds later, they arrived at her house. That surprised the hell out of James. They hadn't gotten to the park anywhere near this quick.

"Well, this is it," Spike said triumphantly as he picked up his present.

Conscience, who was taking the extra time to make his gift box look even fancier, look up at Spike. "Go get 'em!" He shook his fist in the air.

"Will do!" Spike saluted as he walked toward the door with a cheerful look, the present in tow.

SLAM!

Conscience Grief Grimaced as the door suddenly flew open, harshly throwing Spike back.

"Spike? Spiiike!" Twilight looked around.

James jumped out and ate a Super Mushroom, returning to normal size. He tapped Twilight on the shoulder. "Seriously, Twilight? He's right in front of you," he gestured in front of himself, before walking up the stairs.

"Conscience, I presume you've been a good conscience while I was gone?" his voice was barely from the bottom of the inside stairs.

"F*** off, okay?" the same voice responded.

"Spike?" Twilight looked at where James pointed to see a dazed Spike picking himself up, his eyes rolling in his head.

"There you are," she said. Spike recovered from getting the door slammed in his face to see her running up the stairs.

"Is Spike okay?" James and Conscience asked in unison.

"Uh-huh," Twilight didn't even look like she was paying attention.

James exchanged a glance with Conscience as they set their gaze on the stairs. To their relief, Spike eventually trudged up the stairs, with no apparent injuries. They looked back to Twilight, who was furiously searching the bookshelves.

"Quick, find me that old copy of Predictions and Prophecies," she said as she looked over to him. "What's that for?" she asked as she pointed her hoof.

Conscience's eyes widened as he looked over to see Spike's preciously-wrapped gift impaled by his tail. "DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT! He worked so f***ing hard to get that finished!"

Spike turned around to look at his tail. "Well... it was a gift for Moon Dancer, but..." he trailed off as the teddy bear fell out of the box, onto the floor with a squeak.

Twilight gave him a mildly stern look, "Oh, Spike. You know we don't have time for that sort of thing."

"Someone's a shut-iiin," Conscience sing-songed quietly to James.

"But we're on a break!" Spike complained.

"Yes. Yes she is," James quietly agreed with Conscience as he nodded.

Twilight's horn began to glow as she began searching the higher shelves. Several books levitated downward towards her. "No...no... no... no no no," she grew frustrated, "Spike!"

"It's over here!" he called out. Twilight, James, Conscience looked to see Spike waving a book in the air from a ladder.

"Damn. Did you see him move?" Conscience asked James.

"No. No I didn't," James catch-phrased in reply.

The book Spike was holding began to glow like Twilight's horn, and began moving towards her... taking Spike with it.

Spike, still holding the book, was merely two yards or so from impacting the floor. Conscience immediately sprung into action.

KLPOW!

In an ethereal flash of lightning, Conscience was right under Spike in what seemed like a millisecond.

Spike looked confused, still processing the fact that he hadn't impacted the floor.

"AH!" Twilight lit up upon seeing the book she was looking for, and brought it over to her stand.

"I recommend letting go of the book next time," Conscience spoke up. Spike finally recovered and looked over at him.

"Woah, that was close. Thanks," he smiled gratefully at Conscience.

Conscience smirked, "It's cool."

"How did you get over here so fast?"

Conscience responded nonchalantly, "It's what James and I call 'Flashing.'" He put Spike down and walked over to James, leaving him utterly confused. Spike quietly sighed at the mess Twilight effortlessly made, before he began to clean it up. Again.

"So, James, while Spike was wrapping up something for this Moon Dancer, he convinced me to get something for you, too!"

"What? No I didn't!" Spike argued.

James gave him a knowing look, "I know you didn't. But him lying on you like that gives me all the more reason to not trust whatever he has in mind."

"Oh, shut up and take this," Conscience pulled out his present and threw it at James, who caught it out of reflex.

Sighing, James looked at the present. It had a note attached to it by a string. He grabbed it and read it out loud, but quietly enough so only Conscience could hear him. Twilight was 'studying' so he wasn't going to disturb her right now.

"This present will self-destruct in ten seconds after this message is read to the last letter."

It was nearly a full second before James's eyebrows furrowed, realizing what he just read. "...Sh*t."

He didn't waste any time. He quickly shoved a Mini Mushroom against the present, shrinking it to the size of a crumb. Next, he quickly pulled out a clock from Super Mario Bros. 2 and turned the minute hand less than a fourth past the twelve. He then pulled out an Invincible Star and shoved it onto the clock, before eating it. Finally, he hastily threw the miniature gift into his mouth. About three seconds later, a small trail of thick-looking smoke emerged from his ears.

Conscience smirked as James gave him a death stare. "I'm gonna kill you," he catch-phrased darkly. Then again, he always said that line in a dark tone of voice.

"Thanks. I try," Conscience remarked as he put on some sunglasses.

Fortunately for James, Twilight and Spike hadn't noticed anything. Twilight was looking through the book for a certain page.

"Elements, Elements, E, E, E... aha," she stopped on a page almost close to the halfway mark. "Elements of Harmony: See Mare in the Moon?"

"That would be Nightmare Moon, wouldn't it?" James guessed as his Invincible Star ended.

"'Mare in the Moon?' But that's just an old pony's tale," Spike said from the ladder as he was balancing a stack of books in his hands.

"Psh. If this world is as magical," James air-quoted the last word, "as this book says, then I'm not sure if there's such a thing as a 'pony's tale.'"

"Whatever the f*** that is...," Conscience muttered.

Twilight continued to flip several pages further. "Mare, Mare, aha!" she stopped on a page closer to the middle of the book. "Mare in the Moon, myth from olden pony times: a powerful pony who wanted to rule Equestria. Defeated by the Elements of Harmony and imprisoned in the moon. Legend has it that on longest day of the thousandth year, the star will aid in her escape, and she will bring about nighttime eternal!" she gasped.

"Spike, do you know what this means?"

Conscience spoke up, "It means that this world is f***ed in a matter of da-- OW!" He was interrupted as James smacked him in the back of his head.

"WHOOOAH!" Spike flailed about as the ladder fell from under him.

James looked up and narrowed his eyes. "I got this."

KLPOW!

James caught Spike in his hands and gently placed him on the floor. "Spike, you should really be more careful." Before Spike could thank him, Twilight levitated a parchment and quill over to him.

"Take a note, please. To the Princess."

"O-key dokey," Spike prepared to write.

Conscience looked at her in confusion. "Um, unless your postal system is run by hyperactive hedgehogs, I don't think mailing a letter to the Princess is the most efficient thing to do. We might as well say whatever to her in her face, rather than waste time waiting for the mail to go by."

Twilight ignored him,

"My dearest teacher,..." James almost forgot that she was the Princess's student until she'd said that.

"My continuing studies of pony magic have lead me to discover, that we are on the precibus of disaster."

"Hold on," Spike interrupted. "Prese-... preci...?"

"P-R-E-C-I-B-U-S," Conscience spelled the word out. "As in something hazardous or bad is bound to occur."

"Oh," Spike quickly wrote down the word. "Okay!"

"For you see, the mythical Mare in the Moon is, in fact, Nightmare Moon. And she's about to return to Equestria, and bring with her eternal night! Something must be done to make sure this terrible prophecy does not come true. I await your quick response.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle."

James gave an incredulous look. "Your last name is 'Sparkle?'"

"Twi-light... Spar-kle. Got it!" Spike finished.

"Great. Send it," Twilight replied without missing a beat.

"...Now?" Spike asked.

"Of course!" Twilight replied.

Spike hesitated. "Eh... I don't know, Twilight. Princess Celestia's a little busy getting ready for the Summer Sun Celebration. And it's like, the day after tomorrow."

Conscience deadpanned, "What in the f*** is the Summe-- ow, damn it!" James thumped Conscience in the nose, cutting him off.

"That's just it, Spike," Twilight said back, "The day after tomorrow is the thousandth day of the Summer Sun Celebration. It's imperative that the Princess is told right away," she leaned forward, as if trying to stare into his soul.

Twilight deadpanned (at the camera) as Spike put the quill back to the parchment, "Impere-... imperi...?"

"IMPORTANT!" she verbally blew him to the ground, literally.

"Okay, okay!" Spike got up.

That was when James and Conscience got a taste of their own medicine (it wasn't the first time). They stared, looking dumbfounded as they watched Spike blow flames onto the parchment, which vaporized and sparkled as it flew out of the window.

"There. It's on its way," Spike said. As James and Conscience finally recovered from their stupor, Conscience spoke up.

"That's mail for you, folks!" he gestured at Spike as he gave a large smile (to the camera).

"But I wouldn't hold your breath..." Spike put up a clawed finger.

"Oh, I'm not worried, Spike. The Princess trusts me completely. In all the years she's been my mentor, she's never once doubted me."

James and Conscience raised an eyebrow in perfect sync as they watched Spike suddenly belch out a green flame. "What in the f***?" Conscience muttered to himself. Then the flame transformed into a parchment scroll.

"DAAAAAAAAAMN!" Conscience and James recoiled in surprise.

"Princess Celestia is a speed-reader... and writer for that matter," James deadpanned.

"See? I knew she'd wanna take immediate action," Twilight spoke triumphantly.

Spike opened the scroll and cleared his throat, preparing to read.

"My dearest, most faithful student Twilight,

You know that I value your diligence, and that I trust you completely."

"Wow, the Princess really thinks very highly of you, Twilight," Conscience smirked. Twilight blushed at his comment. Spike continued.

"But you simply must stop reading those dusty old books!"

Twilight gasped.

"Oh, snap!" Conscience Break-dance Kicked.