Hooves

by veteranO'awesome

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Lyra, Romance
Length: 3307

Lyra had always fantasized about a human coming to Equestria, never the other way around.

Lyra had always been one to fantasize about humans. She thought of them arriving in Equestria and becoming friends with her. A spell gone wrong gives her what she wants, but not in a way anypony would expect.

Contains language and mild shippage, hence the 'Teen' rating.

Published 2012-06-24 20:04:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-09 21:48:07 UTC

A Spell Gone Wrong

"Ready, Lyra?" Twilight Sparkle asked, her horn lighting up for a spell.

Lyra was very nervous. "Are you sure about this Twilight? I've never tried a spell this advanced." Lyra was desperately trying not to use the teleportation spell. She didn't want to embarrass herself in front of one of her friends. "Plus, I don't want to mess up your house if anything goes wrong."

"You're right." Twilight's horn stopped glowing. "We should do this outside!"

"Damnit." Lyra muttered under her breath.

The two unicorns walked outside and got stares from the ponies around them and they charged up their spells.

Lyra started muttering again. "Great. Now everypony else will see me fail. Looks like there's no way out of this." Due to her low mumbling, Lyra didn't hear Twilight shouting instructions at her.

"On three, we both cast the teleportation spell."

"...no more friends..."

"One."

"...life is ruined...."

"Two."

"I'll be the laughing stock of Ponyville."

"THREE!" Twilight Sparkle's horn let out a blinding light and then a sparkling purple orb. Lyra's horn had a mind of its own sometimes, and now was no exception.

Her horn let out a smaller golden orb the spun wildly. Lyra stopped talking to herself and looked up, amazed that she actually cast the spell correctly. Twilight, on the other hoof, was extremely worried. "This shouldn't be happening. This is a self-effect spell, not a target."

The two orbs collided as the purple one engulfed the golden one. They merged and turned red. The now much larger orb spun and sailed at Lyra. She could barely let out a scream as the spell ball collided with her.

Earth

RIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG

The school's bell rang loud and painful, except to me. This was the last bell for a very long time. Next year I would be going to Embry Riddle flight school.

"Alright, class." Our teacher, Mrs. Hatch, said in a bland, dull, and unexcited voice. "Enjoy your lives and I hope to see you all become big contributors to our society."

I threw on my bag and ran out the door of the classroom, only to be stopped by one of my friends in the hall. "Hey Dylan. What's up?" He wanted to talk, but I wanted to leave.

"Move, Jacob. We can talk some other time." I pushed him out of the way and ran out the door of the school. Because of this horribly stressful day, I needed to go home and watch some My Little Pony; Friendship Is Magic.

Yes, that's right, My Little Pony. I am a brony. I am someone who loves that show and the fan stuff associated with it. Everyday after school, I go home and watch it on my computer because my parents are extremely judgmental. I sighed to myself and walked through the parking lot and to my car. The only beautifully painted vehicle there.

The metallic purple paint shimmered in the sun and the shiny rims reflected the beauty of nature. Starting the car was my favorite part because mine was quite a rare one. I had a purple Hemi Barracuda whom my dad passed down to me. The engine sounded like a herd of stampeding buffalo, which got me a lot of attention.

I winked at the girl staring at the car and she just kept staring. I laughed and took off towards home. Bored of just driving, I rolled down the window and started playing somemusic.

I loved old rock and even music from the 40's. Artists like Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra, among a few others.

Eventually, I got to my house and I grinned. "Time for ponies." I said to myself. I turned off the car, turning off the music, and walked to the door. I was greeted by a note on it from my parents. Dear Dylan, Your father and I have been sent to London for a few months for my job. We will be there for about a year. You are a responsible young man, so you can take care of yourself for a bit. I have my cellphone in case anything happens. Love you, your mom and dad.

Now, an sixteen year old's first thought would be PARTY HARD!, but mine was PONY HARD!. I disliked most of the general human population with a passion, so I didn't get along well with them. I reached for the doorknob, but heard a strange rustling noise that sounded like it was coming from the kitchen. "Robbers." I walked back to by car and got my 38. snub nose out of the glove compartment. There was always a gun in my car, just in case.

Quietly, I opened the door and pulled the hammer on my gun back. The rustling noises continued as I walked to the kitchen. I opened the kitchen door and you would not believe what I saw next.

Lyra Heartstrings, the mint green, human-obsessed unicorn from My Little Pony, was in my kitchen. I un-cocked the hammer and put the gun on the counter. "Hi there." She said with a sheepish a smile on her face.

I fainted.

Ponyville Ten Minutes Ago

The red orb hit Lyra as she screamed out in terror. It expanded and pretty much swallowed her and she could not be seen anymore. The ponies that witnessed the horrible thing, including Twilight, had their faces turn to those of pure horror. Lyra's screaming faded into silence and the orb shrank as tears fell down the faces of the ponies.

Twilight felt worse than anypony about this. Now that she thought about it, this was mainly so that Twilight could be better at that spell. Lyra didn't even want to do this, and Twilight should have listened to her. Who knows where Lyra could be?

Unknown Location

Lyra continued screaming as her body was contorted into different shapes as if she was just a piece of putty. Strangely enough though, she didn't feel any pain even though she could feel her body being twisted around. She stopped screaming and started observing at what was around her.

Multiple colors flashed all around and she sped through was seemed like a tunnel. The twisting had stopped and she was now quite comfortable. It felt pretty strange to be going at an insane speed through a tunnel of many different colors.

Lyra eventually slowed down almost to a complete stop. She blinked and the world instantly changed. Lyra appeared to be in a house. There was furniture, like chairs and a sofa, and there were things she did not recognize, like a strange rectangle sitting on a table. Lyra walked over to it and saw that there was writing on the bottom of it. It said Panasonic.

She continued to snoop around, being very careful not to break anything, until her stomach started to growl. "Crap." Lyra sad to herself. "I knew I should have eaten something this morning." She walked around until she found a large white box with a handle on the front.

Opening it, Lyra saw all of the delicious contents inside. There were fruits and vegetables everywhere, but they were in some strange bags. "That looks really good." She was eyeing a carrot. Lyra ripped a piece of the plastic off in order to access the orange veggie. "I'm sure whoever lives here can spare a few morsels."

She happily ate the carrot until she heard the sound of a door opening. The unicorn froze in place as a human walked in with a strange metal object in its hands. It set the thing on the counter and looked directly at Lyra.

"What do I do, what do I do?" Lyra was becoming frantic. "Hi there." She said to the creature.

It fainted.

First Impressions

(A/N) I can see my story is generally liked...exceptional.

I awoke on the cold kitchen floor, staring at the ceiling fan. "I must have hit my head. This hurts...a lot. Jesus."

"What's a 'Jesus'?" A voice asked me.

"Who the hell...?" I sat up and looked around. I couldn't see anything. "Where are you?"

"Over here, dumbflank." Only one person would say flank and have that much attitude, LYRA! I thought. "But there's no way..."

Something touched my shoulder and a voice talked from behind me. "Apparently there is a way." I shot into the air and onto my feet instantly. I turned around and officially decided that I hit my head...hard. Standing in front of me (I guess I wasn't hallucinating last time before I fainted) was Lyra Heartstrings.

Apparently Lyra thought I looked funny wide-eyed and mouth agape, because she fell on the floor laughing. "You should see your...your...your face! BAHAHAHAHA!!" I closed my mouth as my look shifted to one of extreme annoyance, until I started laughing too. I fell down right beside her.

We rolled around on the floor for about five minutes before I could get back to my senses. I stood back up and just kept looking at Lyra. "How did you even get here?" I asked her. She immediately stopped laughing as tears started to roll down her face.

Damnit. I gotta do something. "Hey, don't cry. It'll be alright. I'm sure I can help."

"Help me?" She said. "And how the hell are you gonna do that?" I cringed when she said that. You ponies can be mean can't you? I thought.

She noticed that and I could tell she didn't mean it personally, she was just sad. "I'm sorry, I'm just angry at the world right now?"

I decided to reply with a witty remark that would cheer her up...or I thought it would. "Which world?" She started sobbing again.

"Oops. I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"N-no." She said between sobs. "It's not your fault. I don't want to make anyone sad."

This is too much. I went over, knelt down on the floor, and put an arm around her. She turned her head and looked directly into my eyes. I stared into her and suddenly felt what she felt. I felt sadness, anger, and agony. She didn't belong here.

"What's your name?" I had to act like I had no idea of who she was. There was no way I would want to come across as a creeper, especially to Lyra.

"Lyra. Yours?"

"Dylan." I gave her a light smile to let her know that everything would be OK. "Are you hungry...Lyra, is it?" (I am so full of shit.)

"I kinda already stole all of your carrots." She put on that same sheepish smile from earlier, trying not to make me angry. She didn't know that I was nowhere near angry. In fact, I thought it was awesome that that a pony from Equestria stole my carrots.

I put on my best Elmer Fudd voice. "Well den, you know what dis means wight?" She didn't understand the reference, but she giggled at how silly it sounded.

"What does it mean?" She asked, still giggling.

Lifting my finger and poking her in the belly, I said to her "It's Lywa season." She burst out into a fit of giggles, not crying at all anymore. I stood up and left her laughing there while I went and got a salad. I've been a vegetarian (other than fish, of course) for a few years, so that would probably make her feel better that I don't eat meat.

Her laughing eventually sub-sided and she appeared next to me, eyeing the bowl of fruits and veggies. "This isn't for you." I said, lifting the bowl out of her reach. She smirked as a golden light appeared around her horn. An aura also engulfed the bowl. It lifted the salad out of my hands and Lyra dumped the bowl in her mouth.

Well then...forgot about that. I thought.

"Thank you for the snack." Lyra said, trotting into the living room. I just chuckled and followed her.

"Sooo..." She said. "What is there to do around here."

"Wellll...there's this." I walked over to the T.V. and turned it on. "You can sit in that." I said, pointing at the couch. She shrugged and walked over to it. A confused Lyra was left standing on the couch, trying to figure out what to do.

I facepalmed. "You're supposed to sit in it."

"I knew that." She got in her trademark slouching/sitting position and it was all I could do not to 'squee' with joy. Lyra is sitting on my sofa watching...THE WALKING DEAD?! Shit! Not good! The Walking Dead was a show about zombies and survivors that was rather... involved with its gore scenes.

Thankfully, it was at part with drama, far from any emotionally scaring scenes. In fact, it was a very awkward scene to be watching with a female. Two survivors were discussing sex, so I ran over, grabbed the remote, and turned the channel to something else. The weather channel looked to be OK.

Lyra slowly turned her head towards me. "Why did you change the channel?"

"Well....I....um..."

"I now what sex is!" She shouted.

"OK....But can we please just get off that subject?" I was desperately trying to NOT have a conversation about this.

"Sure. What are we watching?"

"Looks like the weather channel....and a storm's on the way."

"Are there other ponies here?" Huh? Oh! She must think that the storm is being controlled by pegasi like in the show. Can't let her know that I know......

"Not that I am aware. Why do you ask?" Still had to act clueless.

"Well, I come from a place called Equestria. There, the pegasi control the clouds and weather. I am a unicorn, which means I can manipulate the magical energy around me to do as I please."

I sat there, mouth open. "That's a lot to take in. Interesting. Wait! I have something we can do." A sudden realization struck me as Lyra was surprised by the sudden outburst.

"What?"

"Something called a video game."

Mistakes Are Made

(A/N) This chapter contains some....stuff that didn't quite reach the mature category, so here's a warning. Don't worry, it isn't anything heavy. Enjoy!

"HOLY CHRIST!" I stared at the television screen in amazement. I introduced Lyra to a Call of Duty game and was getting absolutely destroyed, after I taught her the controls of course.

"I'm pretty good at this." The cocky unicorn said with a smirk.

"Yeah." I said, still staring. "You catch on pretty quickly. But then again...." I looked at her controller, which was surrounded in a golden light and levitating in front of her. Lyra suddenly yawned and the light around it dimmed down a bit, so I snatched it from the air.

"Hey!" She shouted.

"You're using magic." I tried to defend my action, which did have an adequate reason.

Lyra looked at me and held up her hooves in front of my face. "What are these?"

"Hooves." I said, now realizing how much of a neanderthal I was being.

"Correct. Do they have small appendages sticking out, also known as fingers?"

"Nope."

"Then how the hell do you expect me to play with this?" The light reappeared around the controller and it flew out of my hands.

"With magic, I guess." I said, shrugging my shoulders. It sucked still having to act like I didn't understand ponies and magic. It was starting to make me look like an idiot.

"Exactly." Lyra's eyes narrowed. "Now let's get real."

A half an hour later

The television had been turned off for the last few minutes so Lyra and I could grab something to eat. I'd rather not discuss the score, considering that I pretty much had my ass handed to me by a pony in one of my favorite games, even if it was Lyra.

As it turns out, Lyra was pretty good at cooking. Quite a bit better than me. She had prepared a simple salad (she even chopped everything up) but added a few things to it. I kept asking her what she did, but for some reason she didn't want me to know. So I just summed it up to being an unusual recipe.

We sat there and ate silently for a few minutes before something strange happened. My head started to feel strange, as if I was drunk. I knew there was no way I could be getting buzzed, probably getting a headache from the stress, so I just ignored it and continued eating.

The crunching of lettuce leaves stopped from where Lyra was sitting and I looked up, only to see that there were three Lyra's, two of them rotating around the first Lyra.

She opened her mouth to speak, but said nothing and instead hiccuped. It was actually kind of cute.

"Lyra..." I said. "Did ooh do somethin' to da salad?"

"Yeah, I did." She replied, her voice with a heavy slur. "I added that bottle of *hiccup* red juice dat was on da *hiccup* table."

The wine. I thought.

"You do know that *hiccup* was shtuff dat maks ya dronk, right?" I said, my voice also developing a very noticeable slur.

"Well den *hiccup* we should probably go to shleep." She said, her eyelids now drooping as if to signal that her mind was saying 'I can't take this crap. Put me to bed.'

"Okey dokey den." I got out of my chair, flipping my salad and getting a giggle from Lyra. She fell out of hers and onto the kitchen tiling, so I leaned down and picked her up, similar to the way a groom carries his newly-wed bride. With her in my arms, I walked towards to couch to set her down only to be tripped by a completely empty wine bottle.

We somehow landed on the couch with me on my back and her on my chest, looking directly into each-others eyes. Without thought, we inched our lips closer together and they touched. They stayed like that for what seemed like hours. I was assuming it was the same for her, but then again, I was drunk off my ass. I honestly had no idea what I was doing.

Our lips opened, but our teeth stayed as they were. I suddenly felt a tongue press against them, as if demanding entry. I fully opened my mouth to let Lyra explore as she pleased, and I did the same with her. I felt around her mouth, which did not feel much different from a human's, if it was any different at all.

Even if she was drunk, this pony must have had some experience. There was no way she could just wing it and do this well. In my case though, I had read quite a few things about this, so I pretty much knew exactly what to do. A bulge appeared in my jeans, but I used whatever free thought I had left to tell it NO.. I would not do that to this innocent pony, even though she was the one that decided to kiss me.

Any thoughts escaped my mind from the combination of drunkenness and the fact that I was making out with one of my favorite ponies. Lyra decided to become more involved. She touched my tongue with her's and started to rub it. She tasted like peppermint, for some odd reason. I replied with the same actions and wrapped around each other. Seconds seemed like minutes and minutes seemed like hours. Soon though, her tongue fell.

Lyra's lips and mine disconnected and I looked at her. Her eyes were closed and she had started snoring. She looked beautiful, just like I had imagined her to be. I watched her sleeping face for what seemed like forever before I fell into the embrace of rest as we both slept in that exact position.