Ooh, very poor choice of words
The large group of CHS students gazed in wonder at Camp Everfree's giant nature-inspired gazebo as the morning sun beamed down onto the campsite, rows of fresh trees neatly enclosing the area. The principals, Celestia and Luna, sat relaxed on the bench whilst Pinkie bounded after Spike who sprinted after a fleeing squirrel. The rest of her friends, Sunset Shimmer, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Twilight (the human world's Twilight, to be exact), stood near the front of the eager crowd as a robust tangelo-skinned boy with scruffy green hair looked out to the students from the gazebo.
Everyone finally settled down as a slightly older girl walked onto the stage, wearing a bright yellow and green spring shirt and bright blue shorts. A neatly-woven daisy crown lay atop her long raspberry locks as she bore a smile that was way too happy for its own good.
"Hi, everyone," she greeted joyously into the microphone in her hand, "Welcome to Camp Everfree! I'm Gloriosa Daisy, your camp director! Think of me as your friendly camp and nature guide." The rose-skinned girl then gestured to the rugged male beside her, still donning that upbeat grin. "And this is my brother Timber Spruce!"
Snatching the microphone out of her hand, the sturdy boy turned to face their newest recruits with an equally positive demeanour.
"Think of me as that awesome guy who should always be invited to fun things." Timber confidently tossed the mike over his head and into his other hand as his sister rolled her eyes playfully. Regaining his composure, he handed it back to Gloriosa swiftly who gazed out into the group of campers.
"We aim to please so before we hand out our tent assignments, we'd like to hear from all of you!" she announced. "You're free to do whatever you like here!"
"Uhh, except hike near the rock quarry." Timber quickly interrupted, "That's off limits." Casting a quick glance at him, Gloriosa's smile returned as she turned her attention back to the crowd.
"YYYYes, but otherwise your options are wide open!" she continued, "So what activities will make this the very best week of your lives ever?" Rainbow Dash's hand shot up instantly.
"Ooh! Rock climbing!" she cried out ecstatically.
"Done!" came the cheery reply.
"Archery!"
"Of course!"
"Tetherball!"
"Naturally!" It wasn't until Sunset Shimmer gently seized her wrist that Rainbow's waving arm finally lowered.
"Rainbow, I know you're excited," she murmured with a grin, "But maybe give somebody else a chance to make a suggestion."
"Arts and crafts!" Bulk Biceps blurted out at the back of the group. Flash Sentry and Sandalwood glanced up at the musclebound boy sceptically.
"My mom needs new potholders." He responded meekly.
"I'll supply the looms!" Gloriosa replied giddily.
"Cookie decorating!" chirped Pinkie, giving a lick of her lips.
"Ooh, I do make a mean sugar cookie!"
"Early morning nature walks?" Fluttershy asked softly, her hands under her chin in anticipation.
"With walking sticks for everyone!"
"Ooh, me!" Rarity cried, twiddling her fingers with enthusiasm, "Uhh... a fashion show! Where I design the most fabulous camp looks, inspired by today's hottest trends! And have them modelled by my friends in a glorious outdoor setting!"
"BORING!" The shrill sound of Pinkie's voice echoed throughout the camp. Rarity's right eye twitched from the volume as her pink-haired friend spoke up, undeterred. "What about streaking?"
A hush fell over the crowd as every student spun around and stared at her like she grown an extra head.
"I-I'm sorry, what?" Timber finally spluttered.
"Well Gloriosa said we can do whatever we want here at Camp Everfree if we wanna make this the most super fun camping week of our lives!" Pinkie replied in a defensive tone, "So all I wanna know is: can we streak?" With a sigh, Sunset walked over and placed her hand on her hyperactive friend's shoulder.
"Um, Pinkie, I get you wanna have fun this week," she said in a calm tone like a mother to her child, "But I don't think she meant that in a literal sen..."
"Oh, absolutely!"
Now it was Gloriosa's turn to earn the baffled looks from the crowd, including Timber.
"Once again, I must ask... I'm sorry, WHAT?" he practically shrieked.
"You heard the pink girl, Timber; if she wants to streak, she can!" Gloriosa replied, her smile never leaving her face, "And that's correct, I did say our new guests are free to do whatever they want here!" The moment those words had left her mouth, Rarity found a dark pink B-cup flung in her face followed by the rest of Pinkie's camp clothing. Sunset, Twilight and the others could only stare in a mix of bewilderment and horror as a now stark naked Pinkie Pie bounded away from the gazebo, her breasts and buttocks giving a slight jiggle with every bounce she made.
"WHOOOOO! Nudie sprint!" the poofy-haired girl squealed as her whoops and cheers grew quieter the further away she ran. For a literal twenty seconds, nobody else did anything else but stare until a grey hand slowly rose out of the crowd of shocked students.
"Yes?" Gloriosa smiled sweetly while her brother just stared at the nude Pinkie, his jaw open wide as his eye twitched.
"So... does skinny dipping count?" asked Octavia, immediately retracting her arm the moment Gloriosa looked her way. But once again, she never stopped smiling.
"You betcha!" came the joyful reply, "I do enjoy a good bare swim myself!"
"Since when?!" Timber shrieked. His cries only proved to be ignored as the cellist immediately began stripping down, unceremoniously tossing her panties over her shoulder and onto Twilight's head who, at this point, was blushing deep scarlet.
"That's all I need to hear!" Octavia replied, her shaved pussy bare as she reached behind her back and unhooked her black bra excitedly, revealing her perky breasts for everyone to see, "Care for a dip, Vinyl?" Her punk-haired lover nodded vigorously, stripping off her own clothes while running off with her girlfriend in the direction of the lake.
"I'm all for making camp activities as fun as possible but ain't anyone gonna question these decisions?" Applejack asked, tearing her eyes away from the nude couple.
"This girl! This girl with the hat right here! She knows what she's talking about!" Timber cried, pointing desperately at the Stetson-wearing girl, "She's the only one with half a brain here! She..."
"What about making out?" called Lyra from the back.
"D'aww, there's no need for me to get in the way of young love!" Gloriosa responded, batting her eyes at the aquamarine girl. With that, Lyra and a certain blue/pink-haired girl cast each other seductive looks before finally wrapping their arms around each other, engaging in a passionate battle of wet kisses and wrestling tongues. The students could only gaze at the two beginning to viciously peel off each others clothing, most of the male students' tongues hanging out like panting dogs.
"I'm sorry, since when did this camp become a porn club?!" Timber screamed in his sister's face, resisting his own urge to not stare at the intercourse. Gloriosa only shoved him aside with that same carefree smile as Snails spoke up next.
"Machine guns?" he asked, whipping out a pair of M60E3s from behind his back.
"Sure thing!"
"WHAT?! NO!"
Timber's protests proved futile as the deafening sound of Snips and Snails' deranged laughs blended with the monotonous sound of gunfire suddenly echoed throughout the camp. The gormless pair charged off throughout the camp, firing endless bullets into the sky as they sprinted past the still naked Pinkie.
"You let your students bring weapons into camp?!" Timber screamed at Celestia who was calming checking her nails on the bench.
"Oh, please, Pinkie Pie brought two cannons into my school once and nobody batted an eye." she replied, not even looking at him. Unsurprisingly that didn't soothe the camp assistant in the slightest.
"Ooh! Ooh! How about paintballing?"
"Certainly!"
All the students glanced across at the one who had made the suggestion, their faces both amazed and puzzled.
"Rarity? You of all..."
"Oh, pish-posh, Sunset. I may be a lady but that doesn't mean I'm not up for a bit of, ahem, roughing-it." Taking a mascara case out of her shorts pocket, Rarity rubbed two fingers over its black surface and daintily smeared it under her eyes in two lines. She suddenly reached behind her back and whipped out two purple Tommy gun-esque paintball shooters, her upper-class expression replaced with a bloodthirsty scowl.
"I'M GONNA SEND YOU ALL TO HELL!" Rarity bellowed, giving chase after a terrified Fluttershy and Twilight while firing paintball after paintball at their backs with a primal roar.
"Just when I thought paintballing counted as a fun camp activity." Timber muttered to himself as everyone fearfully gazed at the formerly-fancy girl now on an unstoppable rampage.
"How about smoking some sweet weed, dudette?" asked Sandalwood, his right hand eagerly clutching a pack of joints.
"Anything to make this more fun!"
"This is NOT RIGHT!" Timber's shouting didn't stop the dreadlocked boy from taking a long puff before pulling the joint away from his mouth, his eyes now bloodshot as a dumb grin crept across his lips.
"Whooooaaa, duuuude, that's goooooood..." he slurred, leaning on Bulk's arm for support, "Heeeey, Bulk broooo... your arm is soooo... chunky, maaaaan. It-It's like, uh... a giant... bag of potatoes. Except it's, like... whiiiiiite." Sighing to herself as Bulk looked down at his tripping friend, Applejack gave a roll of her eyes before whispering across to Sunset.
"Eh, if you can't beat 'em, might as well join 'em." With that, the country girl raised her hand.
"So, uh... what about drinking?"
"Hey! A few minutes ago, you were on my side!" yelled Timber frantically, dropping to his knees as Gloriosa just smiled.
"Yes indeedy!"
"I figured as much." Applejack replied casually, reaching under her hat and pulling out two bottles of apple cider. Popping off the caps with her teeth, the farmgirl calmly offered one of the bottles to Sunset. After a few moments of pondering, Sunset eventually shrugged.
"Eh, why the hell not?" Snatching the bottle away, the two of them began chugging down the apple-flavoured alcohol.
"Seriously, am I the only fucking sane person here? Huh?! AM I?!" Timber's voice rose to a screech as his sister along with the other continued to ignore him.
"Chainsaw!"
"Right on, rainbow hair!"
"THOSE ARE ANTIQUES!" Timber's protests were in vain as Rainbow's spontaneous chainsaw effortlessly cleaved three of the benches in half.
"Knife throwing!"
"Of course!"
"Dance, camp assistant monkey, dance!" Trixie cackled, chucking knife after knife at Timber's feet. The terrified boy pranced around, letting out a high-pitched shriek as each knife embedded itself, inches from his feet. Some of them, she even threw over her shoulder. With her eyes closed.
"Ooh! Flamethrower?"
"Whatever you desire!"
"HUH?!" Everyone rapidly ducked as a stream of flame roared from the nozzle of Derpy's flamethrower, a happy-go-lucky smile on her face. A nude Lyra and Bon Bon stopped slapping their pussies against each other while lying on the ground to stare at the wall-eyed girl's new weapon.
"Derpy... where... the hell... did you get that?" panted Lyra, beads of sweat dripping down her face.
"I have no idea!" came the upbeat reply, the girl still spewing fire all around her. Staring for a moment, Lyra shrugged before her and Bon Bon went back to scissoring one another, moaning in ecstasy with each thrust. His fingers threatening to rip his scalp off, Timber charged down the gazebo steps and over to what was left of the benches, seizing Celestia by the front of her shirt.
"For Faust's sake, woman, you're the principal of this fucked up group of maniacs!" he begged, shaking her back and forth as sweat streamed down his forehead like miniature waterfalls, "Can't you see they're destroying the camp?! You gotta do something before they take it further! Order them to stop or heel or sit or play dead or something! ANYTHING!"
For a while, Celestia's neutral expression remained unchanged while Timber's bloodshot eyes twitched uncontrollably. Finally she calmly turned her head towards Luna on her left, giving a single nod. Returning the gesture, Luna slowly rose off the bench and onto her feet, stone faced as she glared at Gloriosa Daisy.
Timber clasped his hands together in anticipation, nodding eagerly... until Luna opened her mouth.
"I propose a re-enactment of the Battle of the Black Gate from Return of the King, complete with water cannons, baseball bats and your finest bows and arrows set on fire! With Bulk Biceps, Flash Sentry, Paisley and Captain Planet on my team! And Watermelody, Micro Chips and Valhallen on Celestia's!"
"Ooh, roleplay, huh? Excellent choice, missus Vice Principal!"
Timber fainted.
Normally "in shambles" would be a fitting description for a ruined area.
As least, it would be if Camp Everfree was even close to that.
Rather it looked as though the entire camp had been dragged through a hurricane in hell and back, all while being dunked in acid, massaged with sand paper and scratched by a mountain lion for good measure.
Pinkie Pie was now doing naked cartwheels all over the camping grounds, whooping with joy with every spin. Octavia was in the midst of a heated battle of "lake makeout" with Vinyl. Lyra and Bon Bon had now resorted to fingering each other, simultaneously crying out in undying pleasure. Snips and Snails had now hijacked one of the camp Land Rovers and were ploughing through the tents, all while leaning out the windows and firing their weaponry into the air. Fluttershy and Twilight were feebly using one of the camp tables as cover from the crazed Rarity's unrelenting paintball ammo. Sandalwood, now lying on the ground in a hallucinogenic daze, pointed up at the clouds as his vision moulded them into various freakish and comedic amalgams. Empty cider bottles created a glass blanket all around an intoxicated Sunset and Applejack who were now hurling drunken insults either about hair resembling breakfast food or belonging more in the background. Having destroyed all the benches, the flagpole and the camp kitchen, Rainbow Dash resorted to chainsawing the bottom of the totem pole while Trixie continued her throwing knife practice on its carved faces. Derpy's flamethrower had run out of juice so she began using it as a club on the sundial. And hundreds of flaming arrows littered the ground and singed the trees all around Celestia, Luna and the remaining students as they continued to viciously re-enact the Battle of the Black Gate, their battle cries echoing all throughout the once-peaceful grounds.
And all Gloriosa could do from her position on the gazebo stage was look out onto the carnage and keep her delighted grin.
"See, Timber? These new campers have such vivid interpretations of fun!" The rose-haired girl trilled in absolute joy. She looked down at her brother, at this point now bringing his knees up to his chin and rocking back and forth, his hair a mess from all the pulling as he constantly twitched. "I dare say this is probably the most amazing time anyone has ever had here!"
Timber just ignored her, shaking uncontrollably with each rock as the chaos continued to unfold on the camp grounds behind him.
"'Help your sister out with her camp duties, Timber! You'll have such a great time!'", the brown-skinned boy muttered to himself in a falsetto pitch before bringing his voice down low again. "Some camps have normal activities for normal people to enjoy like fishing or hiking or even charades. Normal safe activities. But noooo, I had to be stuck with the lunatics. Both the campers and my own sister."
