Splitting aMid the Night

"Miss Midnight, correct?"

"Correct." This was it. Midnight's life depended on the outcome of this exam. She was, despite her best efforts, more than a bit nervous. Her eyes darted across the room, once again scanning its features. It hadn't changed since the last time she had looked. She was still standing on tiled flooring. Behind her still was a chalkboard next to two of the three windows, in front of her an elevation with lined up full with chairs. In the top row of those, three examiners sat, looking down at her.

"Before we start, some information," continued the middle examiner. One of his eyes remained on his clipboard while the other looked past it at Midnight. "This quick practical exam is going to determine whether or not you have the talent required to join Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. There is no need to be nervous, we won't expect perfection out of you. Your best will suffice. After all, most ponies your age do not even have their cutie marks."

She ran a one of her purple hooves through her night blue mane. "Heh, yeah, got mine early."

"Two years ago already. Remarkable." Though his words were standard issue, the examiner seemed impressed. At least one thing was special about her. The one thing she wished could be normal as well.

Why did he have to bring that up? Seems they didn't tell him how I got it, Midnight thought.

You cannot outrun memories. Why do you try? Stand up to them or be consumed. Midnight knew the voice within her, even if all details were unknown. For the past two years, she had had no rest from it. It insisted on being a part of her, but she could not believe that; She refused to be connected to such cruelty. Without it, she could long since have forgotten the darkness within her mind. A chance for blissful ignorance would be enough reason to get rid of it, if she could. Who could claim right in denying peace to anypony, especially her?

"You will perform a range of basic everyday magic, including telekinesis, magical alteration and teleportation. When you have completed all that is requested, your performance will be judged to decide if you belong into this school. Any questions?"

They want to see that spell out of you. Glory awaits.

Midnight had to restrain herself in order not to scream out for the voice to stop. "N-no."

"Very well." He leafed through the pages on his clipboard. The other examiners' unmoving silence was unnerving at best. "We were informed your cutie mark represents a talent for teleportation, as well as medical services. Let's start with what you know best."

"Um, okay. What's first?"

"Teleportation." His horn flashed up with emerald energy. Out of the corner of her vision, Midnight saw the floor resonate with the same glow. "If you inspect the floor, you will notice there are hoofmarkings spread around it. Try to teleport on top of one group of them."

Midnight nodded and concentrated. Her spell was simple, but still took an effort out of her to cast. It was surprising that she managed it most of the time, as well as that she suffered through its effects. First came the loss of all senses. Then a feeling of suffocation in the airless void. Finally the brief pull of infinity, clawing stronger each time. Then everything returned as half a second of travel time had passed. She opened her eyes; There were no markings anywhere near her. She had thought she had better accuracy, she had to have.

She searched the room. How could she be that far off? She made a step forward, only then realising her mistake. Time accelerated back up to normal speed as her heart beat for the second time after casting. She had hit her mark to the spot. The markings had simply been hidden below her hooves.

"Good." He pointed to in front of Midnight and to her side. "There are two more groups. Try to repeat your accuracy with those."

Midnight nodded again, motivated by her first success. One flash. She was standing across the room, once again spot on. Another one. She was now by the window. A third flash. She was back at her starting position.

"Remarkable, even for it being your special talent." Three levitated feathers scribbled onto their clipboards. "Move between the spots as quickly as you can now. You don't have to keep up your accuracy, it's about speed. Keep in mind though, your safety is our top priority. If you're feeling uncertain, quit casting immediately."

A confident grin grew on Midnight's face. She had never had any difficulties with speed nor repeating the spell. She wouldn't now. Her frequency at jumping through the room proved it.

Trained in speed? You would need it. Perhaps you should have earlier.

Memories of a darker day came flooding back. Midnight gasped as she tried to fight them back. Though she was successful, her concentration was broken and she had to watch herself weave a spell to completion.

She had finished the spell without error, she knew that much. However, it was hard to celebrate once she noticed the lack of ground beneath her hooves. Without wings, wild flailing was the best she could muster to slow her fall. Gravity ignored her pleas and sent her hurtling back down. Her fall stopped a split second later with a far softer impact than expected. Her feeling of luck diminished a bit when she realised what had stopped her fall; Beneath her was a squirming mass of pony just as overwhelmed by the situation as she was.

The examinator allowed her to hop off, apologies falling faster than rain, before picking himself up off the ground. "Everything's alright, Midnight. You have just learned on of the most important lessons we could teach you: 'Never let anything break your concentration while casting'. Go back down and we will continue." If the other examinators had even reacted to her missed teleportation, they hid it well. As she trotted down the steps besides the seats, she began to wonder if they might be only statues after all. She drove the thought out of her mind to focus on what was important. Once she was there, he continued, "Next task, alteration! On the table, you'll find an incredibly tacky teddy bear. I did not choose it as your object for alteration, just to be clear. Do something with it. Yellow paint, perhaps?"

Her previous accident was already as good as forgotten when she laid eyes on the mentioned bear. It was nothing out of the ordinary, with its brown fur broken up only by lighter brown patches on its paws. It could have – and probably had – come straight from one of Canterlot's many toy stores. The given task was tricky, but manageable. She didn't know what else she had expected. In fact, she already knew a way she could solve it.

We despise tack, and you know that. Would you not rather it carry a more complex symbol? One we already know?

Midnight felt only a slight lifting sensation which she tried to ignore in favour of casting. As long as she could stay focused, there was no reason to be concerned. She ran into such antics a few times a day, but they had never led to any harm. She could only hope it would stay that way.

No matter how much she wanted it to however, her mind refused to stay empty. One after another, images trickled in. Memories she had hoped to have lost returned. As they did, Midnight felt them trickling into her spell, powerless to act against them. Her body finished the spell as instructed while her mind watched from afar. She hardly dared to look as she only confirmed what she already knew.

The bear hadn't changed colour. Rather, deep gushes had appeared in its sides and stomach, with blood still shooting forth from them. Midnight barely registered the liquid dousing her; She knew the bear was only a symbol, an allegory. She still knew the blood belonged to her own kin, her own mother. She still saw herself kneeling over the body that had actually suffered those injuries. Still she felt its pulse becoming slower by the second. If only she had been faster, better. None of it would have happened. She would not have died at Midnight's hooves.

A jab into her side brought Midnight back into reality. She opened her eyes, but the battle inside of her continued. Perhaps it was even reinforced by seeing the cursed object again.

Why can't the past rest? There is enough pain there even without reiteration. I refuse to be a part of that. Why do you put me through it? Why would anyone?

You are a part of it, because I am a part of you. Without a past, what makes the future? Confront yourself or lose control. How would you wish to see the world if you crumble at your own creations? You are weak.

No. You do not belong with me. None of this does. The past is dead and buried. Staying with it only shows weakness to let it go. It shows cruelty so intense that it is even turned against yourself, with no thought to what it would do to others. Even if you are only a parasite hosted within me, there is always a way out. I have had enough of you.

Do not be ridiculous. You are a mindless slave to me.

A slave? One with the power to control its master? This is my world. You will follow my rules. This ends now.

What? How can this be?

"Leave." The last word escaped into reality. It did not matter. She knew it held power regardless.

The examiners pulled her up to her hooves. "Miss Midnight, are you alright? We were about to call emergency help. What caused your spell to malfunction like that? You didn't plan it to turn out like that, were you?" At least they had moved from their seats.

"No, no, I didn't. I... No mention." She turned her head towards the stuffed animal that was still dripping with blood. Its effect on her was completely gone. With a brief flash of her horn but no words, she dispelled the illusions and turned it yellow.

"If you are feeling unwell, we can stop here and allow you to rest. You have more than proven yourself already." Now that they knew she was not hurt, the examiners were back in their stone still poses. Were they filling out reports about her exam or about her condition? "Are you sure that you don't require aid? Your twitchings spoke a different language than you do now."

"I'm fine." A brief shudder ran through her; She warded off his attempts to catch her again. "Although that's probably a good idea, thank you for the offer." She felt blank. There was nothing. No fear. No anxiety. She did not even feel the sun's warmth on her. It had to be the adrenaline, she thought. All of her muscles still shook from what she had shaken off just moments ago.

Memories. How much she hated them. Mental images, not real for even the strongest of mind. Midnight understood the importance of being able to remember thing and events. Her life would have little sense if she would just forget everything from one day to the next.

Still, there were times when she wanted nothing more than the ability to erase what images had been burning in her mind for years and years. Times when she couldn't sleep and would meditate on her life. Meditate. Remember. Relive. Sometimes, she would lose focus and drift into something below consciousness, but above sleep. Each time she did, she prayed for something to come and rip her from her trance. There was no way out other than finishing or being rescued. Nopony ever came, not that deep in the night.

Thus she always dreamt to the end, always the same memory. The one she wanted the least yet remembered the best: The night of her cutie mark.

Eventually, Midnight had decided not to cower in fear any more, but to fight back. Others would call her method of fighting running away. It was fleeing in a way, and fighting in another. When delving deep into psychological theory, what difference was there between the two? The nightmares had stopped, then who cared about the means she had used? Of course it was not right to try and suppress such an integral part of her. Just when she had thought herself safe to reap the benefits of her own mutilation, the voice from beyond had manifested. As much as she had ignored it, it had made a very clear point about her past. Now its last moments refused to leave her alone. It did not matter. It was gone. She was alone at last.

She was alone. Nopony was attacking her any more when she was defenseless. She had made sure to leave no opening to the nightmares, or any dreams at all. Now pure darkness blanketed her sleep for the few seconds until she awoke again. Midnight ran a hoof through her mane. So much time had passed and still everything haunted her with reality's clarity. She had tried everything. The blue, she concluded. She had to get rid of it. She couldn't explain why, but Midnight felt that her pure blue mane bound her to her past. She would get no rest from the pain while it remained as it was.

Those who forget their past are doomed to repeat it. That's what she said, isn't it. What I thought. I don't even know any more. Mother... I don't care. There is no lesson in what she forced onto me. Nothing to learn, nothing but pain.

Before she could pursue that thought further, sleep finally overtook her. The atrocities of the world faded as she drifted off into her few moments of sensationless sleep. For a timeless moment, she found peace.