Splitting aMid the Night

After an unwished, yet admittedly entertaining adventure in the land of elements, Midnight awoke feeling more relaxed than she had expected. It was dampened a little when she realised she would have to work and it was later than usual, though. She got up, executing her usual morning routine regardless of time. When she came downstairs, she was glad to find that Vinyl Scratch had been the first to rise and she thus only needed to take what was given instead of preparing it herself. Vinyl was surprisingly conservative with witty comments about what Midnight had done the night before when she sat down.

It's been the night of your life, hasn't it?

A night to live, but not to last. That is, I can only hope it won't last. I couldn't imagine if...

You want her to remember it, believe me. Too bad she won't. Oh, all the awkwardness you will have to suffer through since you've lost this opportunity.

It wasn't perfect. I need a better opportunity. Until then, patience.

Patient... we are.

After finishing with breakfast and washing up, Midnight stepped out of the house to begin her journey. She could yank herself through the Flow to the clinic, but she felt like walking there instead. It wasn't that far, anyway. More importantly, it provided her with some time to think, which she really could use. It was still relatively early. Many features of Ponyville were softened or entirely consumed by the slight fog forming in the cool air. The Sun was up, but it hadn't warmed much at all yet. Midnight was reminded of the first time she had seen Ponyville in fog. This time was different, however. It was thin enough for her to see any approaching ponies coming towards her. Twilight wouldn't get such an edge on her again. She broke into a trot, just in case. It proved pointless, as Midnight was left alone with her thoughts all through her journey.

She arrived at the clinic and began her shift as always. At least once, she didn't run into any unpleasant surprises. Though, after a bit of time, Twilight came in while Midnight was switching rooms.

"Hey Sparkle, what brings you here?" she greeted with a face devoid of her true emotions, wearing a mask of simple smiling.

Let her remember yesternight, oh please...

"Well, I can remember overshooting on the cider a bit yesterday, and nothing else. So, I just wanted to apologise for whatever I may have done. And thanks for the advice."

Yes, Midnight knew what she was talking about. After using their common drunken stupor to get what she desired from Sparkle, even though it didn't count and had to be repeated later, she had written a little note for the next morning. As far as she could recall, it read, "Dear sober Sparkle, I can only imagine what you are going through right now. Take it slow and have plenty of water. I'll be working at the clinic should you need me. Midnight."

"There's been nothing you'd regret, don't worry. It's been fun and we all learned something about the proper handling of alcohol," Midnight replied.

"Yes. Everypony's saying that. I'm just glad nothing happened. It'll make for an interesting friendship report, that's for sure," Twilight said, taking a step back and straightening her mane out better.

"Whattathing?"

"I'm theoretically still researching friendship here under Princess Celestia, so I'm sending her reports whenever I learn something new about it," Sparkle explained with a casual tone as if the princess was just another pony and corresponding with her was nothing special at all.

You always pull a new way in which you're special out of your hat to surprise me, don't you.

"You're amazing. Mostly how you manage to keep those things a secret from me."

"Yeah, I know. I'm like the Rainbow Dash of magic," said Twilight, clearly not understanding the full meaning of Midnight's compliment, but still taking the praise with pride.

"And about as modest. You know, Sparkle, if you weren't verily that awesome, I'd have to remind you again of that you need to learn some modesty, like from back at Canterlot. Ah, those were the good times. Everypony was so much easier."

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.

"I mean everything. Not everypony. You know, still going to school or at least pretending to, nothing else to worry about..." Midnight quickly lied, hoping Sparkle would buy it. Apparently, it worked, as the look of misunderstanding faded from her cute little face and instead was replaced with her trademark smile.

Remember who and where you are, would you kindly?

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but this is my workplace, so I need to get back to work. You gotta wait here if you want to keep talking, though it might take a while. Of course, you could also just visit Ruby Pinch and keep talking to me while you're at it."

"I'll be off again. Take care."

Midnight turned to walk to Ruby's room, but before she could set a hoof forward, somepony else entered the clinic. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be Pinkie Pie. Midnight didn't need to look at her to know that. She had been in Ponyville long enough to know that there was only one pony who would make springy noises while bouncing around. She sighed. Ruby Pinch would have to wait even longer. On the other hoof, she was probably asleep at the moment anyway. She'd be able to deal with Pinkie. In order to do that, Midnight turned back around. "Hello Pinkie, what brings you here today?"

After reaching the correct space in front of Midnight, Pinkie remained on the ground, at least for the moment. "Hi! I come here from time to time to help the poor sick and injured ponies smile again! 'Cause everypony knows laughter is the best medicine, but there's nothing laughable here, it's all so serious and sterile, and they can't go out either, so I bring the smiles to them! Oh, by the way, hi Twilight!"

No matter how well she knew her, Pinkie's way of rambling with many times as many words as seconds passing still took aback Midnight. "Yes, I assume you have struck a deal with Redheart. So do what it is you do. I'll be treating my patients."

"Okie dokie!" Pinkie's voice was so incredibly cheerful, she couldn't stand it. Midnight wasn't the usual cynic any more, mostly thanks to the mare who was about to leave the clinic. Still, such an amount of unreasoned happiness was above her limits.

When she had aligned herself to finally get into the room she wanted, the voice resumed, "You're headed to Pinchy too, hm? How awesome! We can both work on making her smile, and that'd then be, like, doubling the fun. Or even more. Like, squaring the fun. Though, I don't think she'll be much interested in math, that's kinda boring."

Make. It. Stop!

Carefully picking her words, Midnight said in a voice as polite as possible, "Save it. Don't want you to be all run out of fun when you finally get to Pinchy, right?"

Simple logic. Always bends matchingly simple minds to your will.

"Yeah! I," Pinkie began, but quickly realised her mistake and covered her mouth with both of her hooves. Instead of falling to the ground face first like a proper pony however, she did a fluid somersault and landed in front of Midnight, walking through the door first.

Ruby Pinch turned out to be awake, looking up to see who was visiting her. Upon spotting Pinkie, she gave her a wide smile. That was not quite how she reacted to Midnight, and she took a moment to wonder why. However, she didn't have time to think about favorites. She had to act professionally for impression and effect. "Hey Ruby, Pinkie's come for you. You'll be able to play after I'm done. No sooner, y'all hear?"

Pinkie looked slightly disappointed, but stepped back from the bed, sitting on the ground a bit away like a waiting puppy. Among all the white surrounding her, she looked like a wine stain on a white tablecloth.

"Thanks for your kindness. Now, how are you feeling today, darling?"

"Ugh, my tummy kinda hurts." Somehow, Midnight felt that Ruby Pinch didn't let her in on the entire truth. She certainly had already looked better before. As happy as she seemed, her face still had tired features about it and her mane was rather unkempt. On the other hoof, it was just a foal. She couldn't expect too much.

"You surely aren't looking too well. Shouldn't be too bad, though. Maybe you've just got some flatulence. Well, where exactly does it hurt?" Midnight said, leaning in and pulling down the blanket to examinate Ruby.

"It's more up here, like..." Ruby pointed a hoof to her chest, but quickly threw it back down, squirming and trying to worm out of the bed.

"Like what? Oh, don't tell me. Of course. Just what is it with patients of mine and indigestion? It's alright, I got you, dear." Midnight took out a bucket with her magic, positioning it in front of Ruby while at the same time holding her down so she would realise she could stop squirming. "Let it out."

My career is starting great, isn't it. Maybe it's Pinkie being here that makes them puke. Hm, that's surely a theory I'd support... I can't stand smiles and laughter and happiness and whatnot. Wait, does she literally smell of cotton candy? Oh, divine sweetness. Focus!

She eats candy and farts confetti, what did you expect?

"Good filly, taking it like a mare. It'll get easier over time. That's something nopony gets used to. What the hay am I saying? Anyway. Is it over?" Midnight asked, to which the filly replied by lifting her head and nodding with a tired, but content expression on her face.

At long last. No queen rules forever, my child.

Whatever that means.

"Great. Other than that, you're looking fine," she calmed Ruby. "Reminds me, do you have any known allergies, perhaps? That'd explain this."

Ruby Pinch's expression darkened, "I don't like bananas."

That is the tone of a topic that should not be pursued. You've used it plenty of times yourself before, robot. Drop it. Your kind master demands it.

After washing out the bucket, she turned towards Pinkie. "She's yours. If that should happen again, the bucket's here, and call me, understood? Make sure she brushes her teeth. I'm out. Gotta keep doing my job."

"Okie dokie! See ya later when they arrive."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You'll see," Pinkie Pie sang while jumping through the air, doing acrobatic tricks to entertain Ruby Pinch.

Do my job. Or rather, sit in the office with nothing to do but thinking sad thoughts about myself and my life.

Midnight's peace was interrupted before too long though. Suddenly, she heard the door go, followed by the typical noises of her personal most hated kind of ponies.

Foals. Why does it have to be foals. I guess I'm supposed to respond. Work it harder. Make it better. Do it faster. Makes us stronger. More than power. Hours after. Our work is never over.

Midnight shook her mane into shape, then stepped out into the main room. There was a small crowd of foals showcasing varied combinations of colors and gender, overseen by a maroon mare with a bright pink mane and three flowers for a cutie mark. Midnight found that mare's colors more interesting than the pony itself and made a mental note to try those for her own recolors. "Hello all of you. How can we help you help us help us all?"

"Hello. I'm Cheerilee, the local teacher, and this is my class. We're here for the annual Griffon Plague shots," the other mature mare in the room besides Midnight spoke.

"Midnight." Upon seeing Cheerilee's confused look, Midnight added, "My name. Of course. I'll see where Nurse Redheart is so we can get to it." Midnight turned away, walking back towards the office. Oddly enough, she hadn't seen Nurse Redheart yet more than once upon beginning her shift.

Why am I never told anything?

Need the Eye?

As useful as that'd be, I can't just telepathically know where she is. That'd look suspicious. Hold it until I'm in there.

Looking through the illusion of solid matter from the office, Midnight could spot Nurse Redheart tending to a garden in the backyard she had never felt the need to discover. To save time, Midnight decided to Blink directly to her. "Nurse!"

If Midnight cared about her surroundings, she would be able to see a small true grove. Low growing trees and a fence worked together to circle in an area about thirty paces across, stone plates laid out to allow safe access without having to fear for the many herbs that grew. However, the only thing she noticed was being in a greenhouse, which partially served to explain why she hadn't noticed any of this before.

Nurse Redheart looked up from tending to a patch of balm, "Yes, darling?"

"Well, some things." Midnight took a deep breath. "One, why did I not know this garden exists. Two, why did I not know you were here. Three, we've got a class of foals waiting for their shots. Four, why didn't you tell me they'd come today?"

"Oh dear, that's today, I forgot. I've got the vaccine prepared, we just have to administer it. Come, I'll guide you through it." Nurse Redheart got up and began walking off. When she and Midnight had turned the corner, she spoke up again, "I'm really glad you're here, you know. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to set injections without magic, especially on foals."

"Yeah," Midnight said, half lost in thought, "to be honest, I have no idea how ponies that don't have a horn even get through the day. Haven't you ever been jealous of my kind?"

"Jealous? Oh, no, my dear. I suppose it's just something you need to get used to. Once you are, you'll realise you don't need magic anyway. I mean, nothing against you. Your powers are invaluable for Ponyville."

"Yah..."

So, wondering what it'd be like to not be a unicorn, are we? You've been in the body of a pegasus before, robot. Don't forget your birthright as this race.

For no apparent reason, Noon activated Pegasus Eye. It revevealed that, as Midnight already knew, Nurse Redheart was her ally, as well as showing that the foals inside were slowly becoming uneasy while Cheerilee tried to calm them.

Will I have to fetch out a plane with you as an earth pony? It's all hard work and no fun, I tell you.

It'd be nice, though. Would you kindly do that for me?

All you wish, princess.

The two entered through the doors. Some ponies gave out sounds of surprise as they had not seen Midnight leave the clinic. Nurse Redheart took the lead, "Alright, my little ponies, we'll get you done in a minute back in the office."

With the three adult mares leading the way, they all moved into the office, which consequently became rather full. Stepping inside first, Midnight was mildly surprised by somepony suddenly laughing in her ear.

"Ah, yes, forgot to mention... Pinkie'll also help us out, keeping the kids in high spirits and whatnot," explained Nurse Redheart.

"Great," said Midnight, though the sarcasm in her voice didn't seem to be caught by the others.

"Yes, isn't it? Come, I've got the stuff over here." Following Redheart's instructions, Midnight pulled out a bottle of liquid and a set of injector syringes, then went right on to preparing the first one, "Don't take too much, but enough. About this much should do, yes."

Midnight turned back around to face the foals who looked even more nervous than before even though Pinkie was doing her best, the prepared syringe floating next to her head. "Intravenously, I'd assume?"

"Yes."

"Alright. Now, who'll be my first vic- I mean, patient?" Midnight scanned the crowd with intentionally malicious eyes.

"Come on, fillies," Cheerilee motivated them. One yellow earth pony stepped forward, acting as if she had just sacrificed herself to a carnivore for the greater good.

"Courage. That's what I like to see. Hop on," Midnight said, pointing her towards the examination table. She obeyed the command quickly. "Now, I don't even know you. So let's change that. I'm Midnight, what's your name?" Midnight said while constricting the filly's foreleg so that her blood stream would be easier to hit.

"Ah'm Apple Bloom."

"Yes, I've heard of you before. Nice to meet you in pony." Noticing something out of the corner of her eye, Midnight turned towards Pinkie, who was doing overdrawn gestures and giving advice as if Apple Bloom was about to give birth, "Would you kindly stop that?" Before Pinkie could react, Midnight pushed the needle down onto Apple Bloom, scoring a clean hit. After delivering the vaccine, she pulled out again, exchanging the needle for a sterile one before closing the entry wound with a quick application of Mend. "There. That's all already. Next please."

After seeing how easy the whole process was, they could quickly go through the entire class. Midnight enjoyed her work, as it provided an opportunity to give pain to foals without being punished. She also learnt some of their names in the process, but that was more out of pure politeness as she couldn't say she cared about anypony younger than her. Eventually, only one pony remained without an injection. It was a a small white-coated unicorn colt, whose flank was adorned by a closed fixing pin. If the others had looked nervous, he was downright scared.

"Uhm, this is Safety Catch," Cheerilee started to explain.

However, Midnight was quick to interrupt her, as she wanted to get back to the normal routine, "Come on, it'll be over before you feel a thing."

He shily came forward step by step. When he had finally arrived at the table, he said, "I don't like needles..."

Pinkie Pie literally jumped in, "You don't have to be scared. 'Cause needles are scary and all, but the only way to get through such a situation is through laughing, and if you're scared, you can't laugh! You can hold my hoof the entire time and squeeze it really hard. Like, really really hard. I won't complain, promise. Cross my heart and..."

Midnight interrupted once again, this time more automatically than out of sadism, "And hope to die, stick a needle in my eye." Finding she had missed an opportunity, she added, "Coming to think of it, we can arrange that."

Slowly, she made the syringe float towards the otherwise prepared colt's face, which seemed to more than unnverve him. More and more he showed signs of repressed struggle until finally forcing his eyes shut, unable to keep watching. In that moment, before Cheerilee or Nurse Redheart could complain about her methods, Midnight landed the injection in his foreleg. When he reopened his eyes, timidly checking if she was still trying to stab his eye, she had already closed the wound again.

Midnight one, foals zero. Who even names his foal Safety Catch?

Your name isn't much better.

Reminds me, I keep wondering if the nurse in Nurse Redheart is her title or actually part of her name.

Said pony patting her on the back awoke Midnight from a momentary trance. Apparently, everypony but those working at the clinic had left, leaving the two of them with some peace. "Well, I can't say I approve of all of your methods, but there's certainly some ingenuity in them."

"Always give a job to a cynic, she'll find the most maliciously fun way to do it."

"Uh, yes, if you want to put it that way."