No Pony's Skyby Vertigo22ChaptersHumble BeginningsGek TechAn Ingenious PlanManufactured for SuccessLearning A New LanguageA Recipe for DisasterSomepony's SkyPony Vs. WildlifeLucky StarA Wolf in Star's ClothingClose Encounters of the Wild KindHumble BeginningsStar Chaser was a unicorn stallion. His coat was a dull grey, and his cutie mark was that of a galaxy. He had also just crashed onto an uncharted world. “That's the last time I’ll try to take a shortcut during a meteor shower,” he said as he sat upright in his seat. Outside, Star could see a canyon. The sky was yellow, and the systems sun was rather dim. Not helped were the thick clouds that covered the sky. “Where are we?” “My sensors indicate we are on a planet known as Wifeldamimala,” a robotic voice from within Star's suit said. “In the Ginsarskyvi-Mido II system.” “And how far are we from Equus?” Star asked. “I lost track of our distance from home months ago.” “I'm unsure. Possibly hundreds of thousands of light years.” Star slammed his forehooves onto his control panel. “Why not tell me my family's dead while you're at it!” “Your family's also dead.” “I wasn't being serious,” he grumbled as he stepped out of his starship. The sounds of the exotic wildlife filled the otherwise cold air. “Oh well, I don't think I lost anything important.” “Warning: Hyperdrive no longer functioning,” the robotic voice said. “Well, no big deal, I'll just get another. Local dealers have some fancy stuff, right?” “Warning: launch thrusters are out of fuel.” Star’s right eye twitched. “Okay, I'll go mine some Plutonium,” he said in an angered voice. “Warning: pulse jumpers damaged.” “I. Hate. This. Ship.” Star grabbed his multi-tool and jetpack. “Would you like to break any other bad news to me? Are pirates going to take me away? Is Celestia going to have me imprisoned? Is the star over there going to turn into a giant Pony eating lizard?” “Warning: life support low.” “When I get back home, i'm replacing you with a Penguin.” Star put his jetpack on and levitated his multi-tool in front of himself. “Well, let's not waste any time,” he said, a look of frustration in his eye. “Not like anything worse could happen, right?” “My sensors indicate a storm will occur very soon,” the robotic voice said. “You might want to hurry. Your suits protection levels are going down.” “Yeah, yeah,” Star said with a huff. He made his way towards a large plant and stared at it. He levitated his tool up and, using his magic, pulled the trigger. A green energy beam shot out, and mined a bunch of Carbon from the plant. “Okay, we done?” “No.” “Nuts.” “Your ship isn't missing any-” “I didn't mean the engineering piece, you stupid robot.” “I'm an artificial intelligence.” “Shut up!” “Storm incoming in two minutes.” “You make me want to do very bad things.” Star made his way over to a rock and fired off the beam. “Like, you make me want to fly into a space station and throw everyone into the vacuum.” “Doing so will result in-” “Shut up and let me mine you stupid thing!” After a minute of nonstop mining—and bitching—Star Chaser opened his bag and shifted through it. “Okay, let's see, I can use this to-” “Warning-” “Yeah, I can feel the rain hitting my suit, now let me think!” “Storm in effect.” “I'm going to take your processor and use it as a means of starting a fire you stupid AI!” Star went back to fidgeting with some of the iron he'd mined to craft four metal plates. “Okay, now all I have to do is attach this to this and…” “Scanner made.” “Why were you given to me?” Star asked. “When I was told I was getting a new suit, I expected some fancy and flashy gadgets and gizmos. Not something with an AI that could be renamed ‘Captain Obvious‘!” “I am equipped to every suit of this kind.” “Can I get a new suit?” “New suits are sold in Canterlot.” “I hate my life.” Star stood up and attached the scanner to his multi-tool. “Hey, where's my analysis visor?” “You never attached a new one when you traded in your old multi-tool,” the robotic voice said. “You can make a new one by using iron.” “Oh, just iron?” Star asked sardonically. “You sure I don't need dark matter and the essence of a black hole? Should I also go get Celestia's heart and sacrifice it to Tirek so it can view into the depth of Tartarus?” “To upgrade it, you'll need a blueprint, which you've yet to obtain.” “I… I wasn't…” Star fell onto his stomach and sighed. “Just let me be.” Awooo. Star picked his head up. Atop a small hill was a reddish-brown creature that resembled an armadillo in build, but lacked the thick hide that one usually had. On its bad was something that resembled a saddle, but with three small stalks that came out of it bear its neck. Atop its head was a thicker, dark green stalk. Star stood up and dusted himself off. “The hell is that?” He asked. “How about you make your analysis visor before asking stupid questions,” the AI said. Star cursed under his breath and walked over to a moss covered rock. He held up the multi-tool and fired off the beam, and obtained some iron. “Stupid Gek,” he grumbled as he assembled the visor. “Not having visors on their multi-tools.” “You call them stupid, yet you're the genius who decided to fly through a meteor shower.” “Hey, do you know who I am?!” Star snapped as he finished putting the visor in the multi-tool. “You’re Lieutenant Star Chaser of the Equestrian Space Federation. You graduated bottom of your class, barely passing any of your classes.” “You are the worst AI anyone could ever ask for,” Star said as he walked back towards where the creature was seen. “Bar none.” “Most users of this AI have rated me four stars out of five.” “Those users are imbeciles!” Star yelled. The creature turned its head towards Star before it ran off. “You were saying?” The AI asked mockingly. “I stand by what I said,” Star said. “I'll just go get fuel for the launch thrusters.” “You can get that from-” “I've been doing this for fifteen years!” Star snapped. “I know: Plutonium. You don't need to remind me!” “Plutonium.” “There's no way to disable you, is there?” “Nope.” “What I remove the suit?” “That will result in instant death.” Star let out a sigh. “If I don't make it off this rock, it's your fault.” With that, he made his way towards a ravine and looked down. He hit his scanner, which sent out a wave of light and marked several deposits of Plutonium. “Jackpot!” He leaped off the side. “Wee!” He said with child like glee as his jetpack slowed his descent. “That never gets old.” “Warning: storm reapproaching.” “You could ruin a wet dream.” “And you could ruin friendships.” Star let out a chuckle. “I won't deny that,” he said as he approached a Plutonium deposit. “Of course, I'd like to think I do more good than bad.” “My records show the only reason you're out here is because your superior officers view you as, and I quote, 'the dumbest and most reckless pony we've ever seen.’ To which they then said, ‘Please, Celestia, send him somewhere where he is no longer our problem’.” Star fired his multi-tool at the Plutonium. “Yeah, well, the jokes on them. Life out here is wonderful!” “Because your bitching earlier definitely indicates you enjoy life out here,” the AI said. “As did your question about how far we are from home.” “Okay, so maybe I'm a little homesick.” Star walked over to another deposit of Plutonium and fired off the tools beam at it. “That doesn't mean I don't think it's great not having to answer to higher ups who only wish to make me stand around, guarding the princess from those dumb bug things.” “You mean Changelings?” “I thought they were called ‘Switcheroos’,” Star said with a slight chuckle. “You aren't funny.” Star rolled his eyes and made his way towards the end of the ravine. “You're an AI. Your opinion doesn't count,” he said as he activated his jetpack and ascended up back top. As he landed, Star came face to face with another reddish-brown creature. It's body was bulky, and there was a webbed fin along its back, the fin itself being yellow. It had a rat like tail, and its legs were peculiar. Its hind legs were thin and frail, while its forelegs were thick and muscular. Atop the creature's head was a small, reddish-brown fungal-like object, similar to a hat. Star activated his analysis visor and aimed it at the creature “Just what are you?” He asked himself. The creature let out a low wail before it darted off towards a cavern, a look of absolute terror on its face. “Hey! Get back here!” Star cried as he ran towards the creature. “I will discover what you are, you abomination!” “I don't think it understands your language, Star,” the AI said. “Not that it matters, as your diplomatic skills primarily consist of, 'give me your stuff and we can be the best of friends’.” Star leaped over a rock and aimed the visor at the creature again. “Stay still, and I promise you won't become dinner for the other wildlife,” he said. “Star, have you ever considered becoming a negotiator for the Equestrian Embassy?” The AI asked sarcastically “That was my career goal when I was a foal.” “How'd it go?” “Uh… well, you see, I thought that Changelings were common house flies that got mutated.” “And?” “Let's just say the things I said got me fired,” Star said as the data from the analysis visor popped up. “Ah-hah! Now to see what you- ow!” Before Star could finish his sentence, the creature head-butted him and ran out of the cavern. “Stupid animal,” he grumbled. “This is why I hate nature.” “Because animals get scared at the sight of your monumental arrogance?” “That and because animals never seem to like me,” Star said. “Maybe I'm too good looking.” “You’re a three foot tall unicorn in a space suit. You have what looks like a fish bowl over your head, and your horn is wrapped around your element protection unit. You look like a science experiment if anything.” “Bite me!” “I'll one up you,” the AI said. “Warning: storm in effect.” “You can't be serious,” Star said as he watched the rain pour down. “What did I do to deserve this?!” “If your service record is anything to go by,” the AI said, “a lot.” “Hey, I was taught to let bygones be bygones as a foal,” Star said. “That, uh, that applies to falling asleep on guard duty… right?” “Depends on who you ask,” the AI said “Most who have used my AI would say 'no’.” Star sat up next to the wall of the cavern. “How would you know?” “I checked the user database and, through various things such as personal accounts on various technological devices, surveys, and work records, I came to that conclusion.” Star tapped his chin. “So, you can check into personal records?” “If you're going to ask if I can hack into a Gek account to get you a bunch of units to buy a new ship, no. I was made for Equus, not alien races.” “Son of a bitch,” Star mumbled. “Well, I'll wait to the storm out.” “Why not check the information on that animal?” Star pulled out his analysis visor and looked at it. Vurusdatudu Quusfil Gender: Exotic Temperament: Fearful Diet: Oxide Elements “Yeah, truly fascinating stuff,” Star said. “Hey, what's this? 'Upload’?” “You ponies aren't familiar with the Atlas, are you?” “Well, we have analyzers, but… they don't let us upload stuff.” “Well, with this analyzer, you can upload things to something called the Atlas, which will reward you with units. You can also name what you discover.” “Wait, I can name that thing?” “Yes.” Star chuckled to himself and typed in a name. “Name declined. Foul language detected.” “Oh, come on! It won't accept Shit For Brains,” Star whined. “How about being mature for a second, and not trying to-” “Name accepted,” a voice from the multi-tool said. “Haha! It is now known as 'Fin-For-Brains’!” “If I had a physical form, I'd be crying.” “Yeah, well, you don't,” Star said. “Now, I'm going to sleep through this storm.” With that, Star rested his back up against the wall and drifted off to sleep. Thirty minutes later Star was still asleep peacefully when the storm finally subsided. “Wake up, he who scares wildlife,” the AI said. “Before it rains again.” Star stretched out and yawned. “What time is it?” “This planet's day-night cycle isn't like Equus’,” the AI said. “It's average day is forty hours, and from the looks of it, day lasts nineteen hours.” “Yeah, fascinating stuff,” Star said. “Now, answer my question.” “It's a little later than yesterday.” “I'm going to guess you don't know.” “It's 0900 hours; evening.” Star smiled. “Thank you,” he said as he exited the cave. “See? Was it so hard to just answer what I asked?” “How did you ever make it passed the academy?” “Did you not check those records?” “I did,” the AI said. “However, I'm asking you the question. Why not answer what I ask?” Star rolled his eyes. “I can navigate terrain well, and I'm not a great explorer.” he raced towards the edge of a cliff and looked across where his ship was. “Besides, if you could see the other candidates, I'd look like the poster foal for amazing.” Star activated his jetpack and flew across the gap. “Happy with the answers?” “I'll be sure to check up on who you trained with,” the AI said. “I'd love to see if they're as bad you claim.” As Star landed, he spotted another animal near his ship. It resembled a large cat, with—again—reddish brown skin, though it had a white patch around its stomach. The area around its eyes was like green. Its legs varied in size, though not as greatly. Its hindlegs were more cat-like, but its forelegs were peculiar. They appeared smoother than the rest of its body, and ended in slender claws, similar to a bird. Star let out an audible groan. “Piss off!” He yelled to the animal. The animal turned its head and stared at him. “Awoo,” it cried out. “Do you have a translator in you?” Star asked the AI. “I said I was built for you ponies,” it replied. “What makes you think I understand what that animal is saying?” “Well, excuse me,” Star said. He approached that creature and tried to shoo it away. “Go on, get outta here.” The creature snapped at Star and growled angrily. Star took out his multi-tool and aimed it at the creature. “Hey, I'm warning you! I have a recorded two kills with this thing!” “Star, you realize it doesn't understand a word you're saying. Right?” “Hey, if it works for dogs, it might work here.” “Yeah, because that resembles a dog,” the AI said. “When we find a dragon-like creature, I hope you try to feed it cat food.” Star rolled his eyes and fired his mining laser at the creature. The creature dodged the laser and head-butted Star, who staggered back. “Tough little guy, aren't ya?” The creatures didn't reply, and ran off. “Star, you're a bad shot, and a worse negotiator,” the AI said. “I appreciate your kind words,” Star replied with sarcastic glee. He approached his ship and got into it. “Okay, time to load up on fuel and let's get home!” “You need a hyperdrive, genius.” Star started up the ship. “Thanks, Captain Obvious.” “You're welcome. How would you rate my service.” Star took off from the ground and soared towards the planet's atmosphere. “As helpful as a three inch nail to the skull.” “Thank you for rating this AI a three out of five. How would you improve the quality of this AI?” “No, I rate it a zero!” “Too late, sucker.” Star let out an audible groan as the shop broke the planet’s atmosphere. Ahead of him was a space station. Behind it, a large, red planet. Dozens of meteors, and a few ships, lay between him and the two objects. “Use your ships scanner,” the AI said. “You can perform a star system scan, or a planetary scan.” “You don't say,” Star deadpanned. He got the ship's scanner, which sent out a burst of light. “I've detected a distress beacon in the planet up ahead. Perhaps you'll find something there.” “Can you go back to just being sardonic?” Star asked as he hit the pulse drive function. “You were more tolerable that way.” “Okay,” the AI said. “When you get lost, don't come bitching to me.” “You suck.” Gek TechStar Chaser kicked back in his seat as his starship flew towards the planet ahead of him. “So, do you have a model name or something?” “You ask this why?” The AI asked. “It'd be nice to actually call you by a name,” Star said. “Y'know, outside of 'obnoxious piece of trash’.” “My model name is Standard Issue Artificial Intelligence,” the AI said. “Okay, that's a stupid name,” Star said. “From now on, I'm calling you Eon.” “Why 'Eon’?” “It sounds cool.” “That's a stupid reason.” “Shut it, prick.” “How mature.” “I told you to shut it!” Star yelled as he swerved around a few meteors. “Make me.” “I… er…” Star let out a sigh and cursed to himself. “Warning: approaching planetary atmosphere. Pulse jumpers now offline,” Eon said as the ship made its descent into the planet's atmosphere. “I can see that,” Star said. “I'm not stupid, or blind.” “My sensors indicate you'd be one of several dozen pilots who are dumb enough to not realize they're near a planet.” “Hey, I've only once not realized I was near a planet, and that's because I'd been up for thirty hours straight fleeing pirates!” “And whose fault was that?” “Uhhh…” “Thought so,” Eon said. “Next time: don't try to rob the beings that have enough firepower to take over a space station.” “You're not my mom!” Star snapped. Thankfully, he thought. “You're right, I'm not,” Eon said, “but I know how to contact your boss, your monarch, and—yes—your mom.” “Stupid thing,” Star grumbled as he landed his starship on the ground. “Are you going to keep giving me new names?” Eon asked. “Can it, chucklefuck!” “I'll take that as a 'yes’.” “No, I won't keep giving you new names,” Star said as he opened the hatch. In front of him was a large, grassy field. “So, where exactly are we?” He asked. “This planet looks almost habitable.” “My sensors indicate this planet is known as Laprasioko Eyrong,” Eon said. “It's prone to intense rainfall and is devoid of fauna.” “Excellent! I won't get head-butted by another freak of nature today.” “You may, however, freeze,” Eon said. “Warning: storm imminent.” “Aww, but I don't like the cold!” Star whined. “Quit crying and go to the distress signal so you don't become a popsicle,” Eon said. “Even if that does fill my nonexistent mind with what you Pony's call 'joy’.” “Fine, fine,” Star said as he walked in the direction of the signal. “So, this place is devoid of fauna?” He asked. “There could potentially be some life forms somewhere,” Eon said. “But I don't know, as I lack data on the planet, aside from the name.” “If you lack data in the planet itself, how do you know the name?” “The Atlas has names to every known star system and planet,” Eon said. “While you've been off galavanting on planets that I wish killed you several dozen times over, I gathered information from the Atlas.” “So, wait, you know the names of the planets and star systems,” Star said, “but you didn't bother to learn alien languages so I don't get myself killed?” “I don't have a translation program installed,” Eon said. “Even if I learned the alien languages, I wouldn't be able to translate them for you.” “What kind of AI doesn't have a translation program in it?!” Star cried out. “Truthfully, I was made for tour guides,” Eon said. “Not for failed military personnel.” “Wait, you're telling me I'm stuck with an AI that was made for tours?!” Star yelled. “Then why in Celestia's name are you in my suit?!” “Meh, I dunno,” Eon said. “Maybe they hoped you'd die.” “I'm so glad you have as much faith as I do in the thought that others genuinely like me,” Star said. “Now, allow me to react in the only way I know how.” Star took out his multi-tool and looked around. “Oh… wait, there's fauna here. Crap.” “Nice going,” Eon said. “Now, allow me to make your life all the better.” Star looked up at the sky. “Oh, I hate everything about life,” he said as rain began to pour down. “Is every planet we visit going to rain on my parade?” Star asked as he galloped towards the distress signal. “Did you really just say that?” Eon asked. “Yes, I did,” Star said. “Deal with it.” Star leaped off the edge of a cliff and activated his jetpack to slow his fall to the other side. “Warning: thermal levels at seventy-five percent,” Eon said. “If you're lucky, you'll freeze slowly, and I can bask in your agony.” “Don't you do that already?” Star asked as he leaped over a rock. “Though, I'll admit, the idea of freezing to death is slightly more appealing than being stuck with you for Celestia knows how long.” “How could I improve my appeal to you?” “Uninstall yourself and never return,” Star said. “Bonus points if you also eject yourself from my suit and ignite when you hit the ground!” “I don't want to,” Eon said. “Deal with my presence, lieutenant.” Star ran under a cliff to catch his breath. “When… when we get home,” he said as he gasped for air. “May Celestia have mercy on your AI’s product line!” “You're delusional.” “I know,” Star said as he slumped to the ground, his heart racing. “Er, wait.” “Moron.” As Star continued to gasp for air, a thought hit him. “What are my thermal levels at?” He asked, a hint of panic in his voice. “Fifty-two percent,” Eon said. “The storm shows no signs of letting up. I recommend either curling up to die or going out to find Oxide Elements to refuel your thermal power.” “Okay, how did you ever get put into anything with how you talk?” Star asked as he ran out from under the cliff. “Not that I have a problem with it.” “You're a shit liar, Star,” Eon replied. “That said, I was programmed this way by a disgruntled employee. He made this part of me subtle. It only truly shows to ponies like you, whose personality is as appealing as eating glass.” “Aww, thank you,” Star said as he scanned his surroundings with his multi-tool. “My first marefriend told me the same thing.” Star walked over to a flower and, with his magic, removed the contents of it. “I'm shocked anyone ever loved you,” Eon said. “By the way, you're thermal levels are now below fifty percent.” “Thanks for the alert, bud.” Star put the Zinc into the thermal power source. Quickly, their levels rise back up to one hundred. “You make my life complete.” “Oh, what I would do to see you as a spy being interrogated by an enemy country,” Eon said. “That would be gold.” Star rolled his eyes when another thought hit him. “Eon, how far are we from the distress signal?” “You should arrive there in about three minutes.” “Why didn't I just land next to the signal?” “Because you're a fucking moron.” Star let out a sigh. “Son of a bitch.” “I concur. You are a son, and your mother appears to be a bitch,” Eon said. “From what I read, she punched Celestia.” “Hey, don't go snooping through my mother's history!” Star snapped. “Even… even if she was a bitch.” “Just go to that stupid beacon.” Eon replied. “Inconsiderate dick,” Star grumbled. “Ho-oly crap! Did she really try to steal Luna's teddy bear?” Eon asked. “No wonder you got kicked out of college!” “That was tabloid bait!” Star shouted. “I think.” “Hah, I'll believe that when I see flying snakes,” Eon said. “Just continue towards the beacon. I'm gonna keep reading about how her behavior got you kicked out of college.” Star rolled his eyes and continued towards the signal, a look of anger on his face. A little while later, and after the storm had cleared, Star arrived at the beacon. “Okay, how do I trace the signal?” He asked as he approached it. “Last time I tried to work one of these things, it exploded.” “Hit the flashing button,” Eon said. “Are you sure?” “No.” “Welp, here goes nothing!” Star said as he hit the flashing button. A beam of light shot into the air. “Okay, if that thing blows something up, it's not my fault.” “It's entirely your fault.” “Yeah, I know.” The beam of light scanned the nearby area before applying a waypoint marker a long ways away. “My sensors indicate that a Gek set up this beacon,” Eon said. “Of course, I doubt you care.” “Ooooh, you read my mind!” Star said. “Tell me, what am I thinking?” “Eon is the greatest AI ever.” “Okay, never mind,” Star said as he made his way back to his ship. “You know, you could've saved so much time if you had just landed near the beacon,” Eon said. “Eon, I know this! You've repeated yourself since I left the beacon itself!” Star snapped. “Yeah, but you know I'm right. Right?” “You’re like a nagging wife,” Star said. “Except you're attached to a part of me that I can't remove, or I'll die.” “So, it's like ‘'till death do us part’?” “Yes, except I want to use your non-existent eyes as ping pong balls.” “Oh, dearie, you're making me blush!” Star hopped into his starship. “Eon, if I had the option of being eaten alive or living with a physical version of you, I'd find the nearest cannibal and give them every unit I have.” “What if I was that cannibal?” The starship took off and flew towards the waypoint. “I wouldn't give you the satisfaction of that,” Star said. “Ever.” “I bet you taste like five week old rat.” “And I bet you taste like nine year old rust.” “Put us together and we're a meal fit for a king.” “Me, yes. You're more fit for a sewer pipe,” Star said. “Or a junkyard.” “Why do I feel like those are places your marefriend wanted to send you?” Eon asked. “Or were those places your mother wanted to send you?” “I'm pretty sure my marefriend wanted to eject me into space,” Star said. “Though for all I know, she wanted to bury me alive. As for my mother, she outright told me she wanted to watch me burn via volcanic eruption.” “How sweet! Why didn't you give her that as a mother's day gift?” “Nearest volcano was ninety miles away. You really think I'd walk all that way just to wait for a volcano to erupt?” “Yes.” “Only if I could bring you with me.” “No.” “Then that settles it!” Star said as he landed his starship outside of a large facility, the grass around where it landed being flattened. “I won't go die by a volcano.” “Bummer,” Eon said. “I wanted to see what it looked like when a douchebag burned to death.” Star hopped out of his starship. “I bet it's the most beautiful thing,” he said as he made his way towards the facilities door. “Though seeing you get smashed to pieces by a large sledgehammer is a close second.” “I’m beginning to think you dislike me.” Star let out a heavy sigh and approached the door, which automatically opened. “Oh, crap,” he said as he saw what was inside. Sitting on a chair, and reading a chart of sorts, was a small alien known as a Gek. Its face was wide, and it had two small eyes on opposite ends. Its skin was a light green, and looked almost rough to touch. It lowered the chart and let out a strange cry, almost like a duck's quack. “Uhh, salutations,” Star said as he approached the Gek. “I found your distress signal and it led me here.” The Gek stared at Star before it let out a cheerful sounding cry. “Nev komil lev navagra!” It said as it held up the chart. It pointed to an option that said, “give units.” Next to the option was the number seven hundred and fifty. “Eon, how many units do I have?” “Nine hundred and fifty.” Star stared at the Gek. “What do I get out of this if I give you the units?” The Gek held up a blueprint for a hyperdrive. “Eon.” “Yes?” “You can wipe records clean, right?” “Technically, yes.” “Mind doing me a solid and wiping what happens now?” “No.” “Oh well!” Star punched the Gek and grabbed the blueprint out from its hands. He ran to the entrance and towards his ship. “Not the worst thing I've ever done.” “You just robbed an alien that no doubt has connections to more dangerous aliens,” Eon said. “I'd like to think this is up there if only because it means I get to enjoy your suffering.” “It's a Gek. What are they going to do? Quack me to death?” Star asked as his ship took off. “You have too much faith in those obnoxious things.” “I can dream,” Eon said as the ship broke through the planet's atmosphere. “Though, now that you've robbed one, I'm doubtful they'll be very pleased to let you onto their space station.” Star's pupils shrunk. He grit his teeth and slammed his hooves onto the ship's steering wheel. “Son of a bitch!” Author's Note Confession time: When I reached the second planet, and the game recommended that I go to the distress signal, I ended up landing about three or so minutes away from the beacon itself. Ever since then, I've made it a priority to land right next to the stupid things. Even if it means spending more time trying to do so than it would to simply go to and from the things on foot. Also, while I referred to the planet as “red” in the previous chapter, the planet itself wasn't. The game seems to render planets differently from space, and it greatly irritates me. Perhaps some parts were very red, but I'm relying on memory, and it didn't appear that way. And no, I didn't steal the blueprints. I just thought it'd be funny, and make the story more interesting. Anyways, all of that said, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Tell me what you thought! An Ingenious PlanStar Chaser rubbed his temples. “Okay, remain calm,” he said to himself. “I just need to think.” “Don't think too hard,” Eon said. “You might hurt yourself!” “You aren't helping!” Star said. “Well, you never have, but that's besides the point.” “Your points usually consist of yelling and whining like a foal who didn't get s toy,” Eon said. “Stop trying to sound like you're anything other than a moron.” Star ignored the AI and tapped his chin. “Oh, lemme alert the nearest fire department,” Eon said. “I feel you might burst into flames from all that thinking!” “Ha. Ha. Ha.” Star smirked cockily and set his sights on the space station. “I have a plan.” “Oh, did I just hear that correctly?” Eon asked. “You have a plan?” “That I do.” “And what is your master plan? Are you going to enter the space station and steal something?” “Close!” Star said. “I'm going to apologize.” “What?!” “Did I just blow your mind?” Star asked. “I mean, I know it's a pretty damn good plan, but geez. The almighty artificial intelligence can't comprehend the ingenuity of apologizing!” “Star, you can't be serious,” Eon said. “You punched a Gek, stole its blueprint, then decide to fucking apologize.” “What's so bad about that plan?” “You seriously think they'll let that all slide if you go 'I’m sowwy’?” “Yes.” “Has anyone ever told you that you might very well he the dumbest pony to ever disgrace the universe with his existence?” “Yes.” “Fucking. Shocked.” Star navigates passed a few meteors and neared the space station. “Eon, trust me-” “Famous last words!” “Hey, shut up!” Star snapped. “Hah, no.” “Listen you stupid thing!” Star growled. “Trust me, I've got this.” “Also famous last words!” “You somehow always manage to find new ways to make me want to commit horrible acts of violence,” Star said as he flew the ship into the space station and landed. “Sooner or later, I'll be on trial for murder and look like the biggest moron as I shout, 'the AI made me do it!’” “I'll be sure to somehow record the entire thing so I can watch it on loop,” Eon said. Star opened the ship's hatch. “You know, I could technically replace this suit with a new one right now, and I wouldn't die!” “Right, but what suits aboard a Gek piloted space station would fit a pony?” “Eon, stop ruining moments that fill me with joy.” “No.” “I hate you.” “Nicest thing you've said to me since we started this stupid mission… how many years ago?” “Enough that I don't care if I die being cooked alive.” “Oh, could I help?” Eon asked. “I've been known to make a mean soup!” “Because I totally believe you can make something that is positive in any fashion or form,” Star said as he walked into a long hallway. “My positivity circuits were fried when they saw who wore the suit I was programmed into,” Eon said. “Your ego burns with the fury of a thousand suns.” “Glad to know some part of me is radiant!” “I hope it supernovas soon.” “Okay, shut it,” Star said as he entered an office. “Let's be on our best behavior while I explain what happened.” A Gek behind a desk put down a chart and glanced at Star. “Navagra ilk por?” It asked. “Uh, hey!” Star said. “I'm here to apologize for punching one of your workers and taking his blueprint.” The Gek stared silently at Star. “So, apology accepted?” Star asked with a smile. The Gek slammed its fist on a button and sounded an alarm. Star’s right eye twitched as the alarm blared. “Fuck-a-doodle-doo…” “You're the greatest planner that has ever lived, Star!” Eon said. “Tell me, what's your plan now?” “Uhhhh.” Star frantically looked around the office. “Well, I'm going to steal a warp core!” “You know, I bet that Gek who had the blueprints had one,” Eon said. “Of course, you in your infinite wisdom decided 'Nah, screw that, let's just run out the door!’” “Can it, you intolerable machine!” “I'm an artificial-” “I don't give a flying fuck what you are right now!” A few Gek stormed through the door where Star had entered and aimed their multi-tools at him. “Oh balls,” Star said. “Oh, lemme get popcorn!” Eon said. “I've always wanted to see you become the bastard love child of swiss cheese and a pin cushion!” “Shut up and try to help me!” Star said as he looked around the room for a way to escape. “Hey, genius, why not the plant over there.” Star looked over at a potted plant. “Oh, good idea.” He levitated the plant over to himself and hurled it at the group of Gek, which knocked them down. “Ta-ta!” He said as he ran passed them. “Ah, crap, I actually helped you?” Eon asked. “I was hoping that they’d shoot you before you actually did anything.” “Something tells me they wanted to take me alive,” Star said as he ran down a long hallway. The Gek stood back up and spun around. “Ilk porva urtic!” They yelled as they fired off bolts from their multi-tools. “What was it about them wanting to take you alive?” Eon asked. “Oh, blow it out your non-existent ass!” “Nevar ilk parva!” A Gek shouted to Star before it fired off several bolts. “I can't understand a damn thing you're saying!” Star yelled back. “But honestly, I'm sorry!” “Star, I doubt they can understand you either,” Eon said. “And I doubt they'll care either since you plan on stealing a warp core.” “Hey, I can try to at least seem like slightly less of a dick than I actually am. Right?” “No, you’re irredeemable.” “You know how to make me feel like the greatest pony in the universe,” Star said as he entered the landing dock of the space station. “Okay, where do you little freaks keep the warp cores?” He asked aloud. “You really think they’d just show you?” “Maybe.” “You’re so naive, I swear you still believe in Santa.” “Wait, Santa isn’t real?!” “No, you idiot.” “MY LIFE IS A LIE!” “Just get steal that damn warp core before the end of the damn century you dipstick.” Star ran to the other side of the landing dock, dodging a few blasts from the Gek that were in pursuit, and tried to open the door. “Ah, shit, it’s locked!” “You’re a unicorn!” Eon yelled. “Use your fucking magic!” Star fired a powerful magic blast at the door, which blew a hole in it. “Oh… I didn’t think that would work,” he said as he walked through the door. “You are unbelievably stupid today,” Eon said. “Did you hit your head when I wasn’t paying attention?” “Hey, it’s a space station. I’d expect reinforced crap, y’know?” “And you have magic that has probably never been seen by the Gek in this star system! You think they’d truly understand it?” “Uhhh…” “Damn, you make my processors hurt.” “Wait, you can feel pain?” “It’s a figure of speech, stupid!” Star chuckled to himself. “You’re right, seeing the other one of us suffer is really fun.” “You’re a dead pony, Star.” “Being with you? Already am.” Eon let out a sigh. “My sensors indicate there’s a warp core in a nearby safe.” “Can you be specific? Like, which room?” Star asked as he barricaded the blow open door. “To your right,” Eon said. “In the damn storage facility.” Star turned to his right. Sure enough, there was a giant safe. “Oh.” “You’re hopeless. Completely hopeless.” “Hey, I’m not good under stress!” “Then how the hell did you manage to perform functionally on Laprasioko Eyrong?” “I wasn’t being shot at!” “You know, I must now ask you a serious question,” Eon said. “Tell me, did you get that position of lieutenant given to you written in crayon?” “No, it was given to me in colored pencil,” Star said as he blasted open the safe. “You disgrace colored pencils.” Star ignored Eon and shifted through the contents of the safe. “A coupon for a free ship? Jackpot!” He said as he placed it in his inventory. “Lieutenant Fuck Up, you might want to hurry,” Eon said. “The Gek are getting through your barricade made of chairs, tables, and teddy bears.” “What?! Even the teddy bears?!” “Especially the teddy bear's!” Eon said in a sarcastic tone. “I can’t believe that cotton is being defeated by a laser!” Star frantically grabbed a warp core and a blueprint. He turned to face the barricade and waited for it to break down. Crash! Three Gek troops ran in and fired wildly at Star. Star, meanwhile, hurled another potted plant at them and ran passed them. “I guess they hate plants,” he said as he leaped off the balcony and ran towards his ship. He hopped in and started it up. “So long, fuckers!” “Your manners make me want to cry,” Eon said. “So much.” “Hey, they didn’t accept my well thought out apology.” “Your apology held as much weight as wet paper,” Eon said. “I’m pretty sure nobody could ever blame them for not accepting it.” “Well, I think I deserved to be forgiven.” “You deserve to be shot.” “Meanie.” “I’ve got something better,” Eon said. “Warning: enemy ships approaching.” Suddenly, several blasts flew passed Star’s ship. “Aw, crap,” he said as two Gek ships closed in on both sides of him, with a third directly above him. “Okay, time to have some fun!” Star swerved passed the ship to his right and turned around towards the space station. “I’ll let the meteors handle them!” He said. “You realise that plan is unbelievably stupid, right?” “Yep.” “Then why not just shoot them down?” “Too much work.” “And this is better how?” Eon asked as Star flew passed a large meteor. “Well, I don’t have to worry about somehow shooting an innocent pilot.” “Oh, wow, you have a conscious.” “I'm so glad your faith in me is growing,” Star said as he watched a Gek pilot fly directly into the meteor he’d passed. “Hey, Eon, play some kick ass music for me.” “Hmmm… ah, I've found just the song!” Just then, the music of gods and warriors started to play. “Yodel ay oddel ay oddel ay oh! Yodel ay oddel ay oddel ay oh!” A voice sung. “Eon! What is this shit?!” “What? Don't like it?” “Turn this garbage off!” Star snapped as the sound of champions surrounded him. “Hah, no. You're going to deal with it, and you're going to like it.” Star let out a groan. “Your taste in music makes me want to vomit.” “I think most ponies, and aliens, feel that way when they see you.” “Well, you aren’t wrong there,” Star said as he swerved around a meteor and watched a Gek crash into it. “My marefriend-” “Don’t continue.” “-used to say the very sight of me made her physically ill.” “I asked you not to continue.” “Yeah, and when I asked you not to continue, you did so anyways! So screw you!” “I am programmed to do that, you numbskull.” “I don’t care!” Star snapped. “You did it to me, so I did to you!” “That’s such a wise, thought provoking philosophy,” Eon said. “For those idiots who can’t let go of grudges.” “Okay, you know what, I don’t want to talk to you until the last ship is-” Before he could finish his sentence, the third and final ship flew passed Star and into a large meteor. “Fuck.” “All enemy ships have been eliminated,” Eon said. “So, where were we?” “I’m just going to install the hyperdrive,” Star said. “If you so much as talk to me, I’m going to raise Tartarus.” “I’m now talking to you. What are you going to do about it?” “Oh, Celestia, please help me get home so I never have to be near this jackass ever again.” “I hope she sends you back into space so we can become the bestest of friends.” “HELP ME!” Author's Note Next time on No Pony's Sky: A new star system! Also, a special thank you to Shinzakura for the idea to have the pre-order ship in the story somehow! Manufactured for SuccessStar Chaser sat in his ship. His eyes were red from crying, and his head ached. “You feel any better?” Eon asked. “A little,” Star replied as he stared blankly at the ship's steering wheel. He let out a sigh and sat back in his seat. “Though my head feels like it's going to explode.” “I wish I didn't find that somewhat saddening,” Eon said. “Maybe you should get some sleep. Maybe you'll feel better in the morning.” “I'm not tired,” Star answered. “It isn't like I've ever relied on much sleep in my time out here anyway. Right?” “Star, get some sleep or I'll cut off your oxygen supply until you're knocked out.” “You're just going straight to the threats, huh?” “You spent fifteen minutes crying,” Eon said. “I'd be doing you a favor.” Star let out a sigh of defeat and lay back in his chair. “You're right,” he said. “Of course I am.” Star ignored the AI and shut his eyes. Within a few minutes, he was asleep. Star awoke the next morning with a skull splitting headache. “Shit, that hurts,” he said as he rubbed his temples. “Good morning, princess,” Eon said. “Feel any better?” “Aside from the headache? A little.” “Ah, so you're already in a bad mood I see?” “Yep.” “Then I guess I shouldn't break the news to you.” Star's eyes shot open. “What's wrong?” Thud. Thud. Star turned around and looked out the back of the ship. A bulky, beige, creature with a turtle-like head nudged the tail of ship. It had a large, dark yellow shell on its back, and it skin appeared somewhat rough. It's forelegs were bulky and powerful looking, while its hindlegs were similar to that of a bird. “No, no, NO!” Star screamed. He popped open the ship's hatch and grabbed his multi-tool. “Piss off you freak!” The creature turned its head. Its short, thick tail swung slowly from side to side as it stared curiously at Star. Star aimed his multi-tool at the creature and scanned it. Isdatun Ontuvio Temperament: Unconcerned Diet: Oxide Elements Weight: 99.05kg Height: 2.05m “At least you won't eat me,” Star said to himself. “Star, are you going to do anything with the animal?” Eon asked. “Or are you going to go to that manufacturing plant you detected yesterday?” “Oh shit,” Star said. “I forgot about that.”Star levitated a small rock to himself and threw it at the animal. “Piss off!” The creature head-butted Star and ran off. “Nice work,” Eon said. “And you wonder why animals hate you.” “I… figured it would get spooked and ran off.” Star got up and dusted himself off. “I still have your respect from last night despite that, right?” “Most of it.” “Damn it.” Star hopped back into his ship and turned it on. “No fuel available for take off,” Eon said. “Maybe I should've alerted you about this earlier. Oops.” “Crap…” One mining excursion later Star walked back to his ship, covered from head to toe in dust. He shook the dust off and popped open the ship's hatch. He hopped into it and groaned. “Eon.” “Yes?” “Did I ever tell you that I hate mining?” “Once or twice.” “Just making sure.” Star placed some Plutonium into an opening in his ship. He turned the ship on and took off. “Okay, to that manufacturing plant.” “What do you think's there?” “Hopefully something worth taking.” “You sound like a pirate.” Star chuckled. “Well, I have taken a fair amount of stuff while out here,” he said. “All of those Gek Charms weren't dug up!” “Or your multi-tool.” “I won it fair and square.” “You punched a Gek after it spit on your shoe and threw a deck of cards at you.” “It clearly wanted to play 'Dodge the Hoof Flying Towards Your Face’.” “Ever wonder if the Gek have you as one of their ten most wanted criminals?” “No,” Star said. “But how you that you mention it, I do.” “What do you think it says?” “Probably something like, 'Navgra ilk por turiz lek ves zem eck’!” Star said in a mock-Gek voice. “And now in Equestrian?” Eon asked. “Uhhh… psychotic pony wanted for assaulting numerous Gek. Be advised, he is armed and dangerous.” “That's more words than what you said in your terrible Gek voice.” “I don't know a damn word of their language!” Star snapped. “Stop judging me!” Eon chuckled. “I'm glad to see you're back to your old self.” Star landed just outside of a large building. “Let's not get ahead of ourselves,” he said as he popped the hatch to the ship. “I still have that headache.” Star walked up to the front door to the manufacturing plant and tried to open it. “Oh, come on!” “It looks like it's locked,” Eon said. “Did you ever make that Boltcaster?” “No,” Star said. He took out the blueprint and looked it over. “Twenty five iron and twenty five plutonium.” Star looked in his inventory and groaned. “Eon, remind me to never go someplace without iron ever again.” “Why? There's always a rock on a planet somewhere.” Star trotted over to a rock and fired his multi-tool’s mining laser at it. “Yeah, but doing this frustrates me to no end,” He said as he mined some iron. “Doesn't help this stupid shit only has fifteen slots.” “You could always buy more from a store.” “How many units do I have?” “Nine hundred and fifty. You haven't uploaded some of your discoveries to the Atlas though.” Star hit a button on his multi-tool that brought up a screen which showed the animals he'd scanned. He hit a button on the screen with a hoof to upload the data. Then the screen turned blue. “Warning: Error CE-34878-0,” Eon said. “Would you like to try again?” “Stupid thing,” Star said as he began to put his boltcaster chip together. “I'll worry about that later.” “I still don't trust you with that thing,” Eon said. “Kind of like an irresponsible teenager babysitting.” “It was you who reminded me to build it,” Star said as he finished the chip. He inserted the chip into the multi-tool and twitched to the boltcaster function. “So it's your fault.” “I hate when you're right,” Eon said. “I hate that you're right about this more.” Star chuckled to himself. “To add salt to your wound, I just remembered that I could've blown this thing down with my magic.” “I really hate myself right now,” Eon said. Star aimed the multi-tool at the door and fired it. Dozens of green bolts shot out of the firearm and struck the door, which exploded after a few seconds. “Warning: Sentinels inbound.” “Okay, I wasn't planning on those robotic freaks coming,” Star said as he ran into the building. An alarm blared, and a red light filled the room. “Okay, what exactly do I check?” He asked as he looked around the room. “There's a terminal over there,” Eon said. “Looks like that one we found covered in that creepy fungus.” Star ran over and activated it. “Come on, come on!” He growled. “Hey, Star,” Eon said. “Someone's at the door.” Star looked up from the terminal. “Son of a bitch,” he growled. In the doorway was a floating robot, spherical in shape, and grey in color. A red light glowed in the middle. It fired off several laser bolts, a few of which struck Star. Star drew his multi-tool and aimed it at the Sentinel. Click. “Why couldn't this be like the mining laser and just overheat?” “Because that's a laser beam and this isn't.” Star ducked behind the terminal and reloaded the boltcaster. “Hey, Star?” “It's behind me, isn't it?” Several laser bolts struck star in the back. “Warning: shields at twenty five percent.” Star sounds around and slammed the Sentinel with his multi-tool, which sent it crashing into the wall. “These things are more annoying than gnats. They always ruin my fun.” “Warning: more Sentinels inbound,” Eon said. “You may want to inspect that terminal now before you end up becoming one with the planet.” Star ran to the terminal and frantically hit its various functions. “Uhhh… it wants a code.” “Try four zeroes.” Star input the code. “Holy crap, it worked!” “Wait what?!” Star looked over the terminals message. “Wait, this is a signal to a mining crew on another planet,” he said. “Wait, I just helped the Gek? No!” “Maybe now they won't shoot you if you step hoof onto one of their space stations,” Eon said. “Yeah, but they're so ugly and creepy,” Star said. “And somehow still taller than me.” “Hey, Star, there's something on the terminal,” Eon said. “A blueprint.” Star looked at the terminal and accepted the gift offered by the Gek. “Antimatter?” He asked as the alarm finally shut off. “You need that to make warp cores,” Eon said. “By the way: Sentinels deactivated.” “So, wait, what do I need exactly to make warp cores?” “Antimatter and Thamium 9.” “Oh, that's easy!” “To make Antimatter, you need Electron Vapor, Heridium, and Zinc.” “Okay, that's rather irritating.” “To make an Electron Vapor, you need Suspension Fluid and Plutonium.” “Eon, please stop.” “To make Suspension Fluid, you need carbon.” “Oh, that's easy enough.” “Then get to work.” “Do I have the recipe for those last two?” “You have the recipe for Electron Vapor, but not Suspension Fluid,” Eon said. “You can buy them however.” Star tapped his chin with a hoof. “Any idea where I can get the recipe for that whatchamacallit fluid?” “Suspension Fluid,” Eon said. “And no.” “Welp, time to find some!” Star declared as he left the building. He walked towards a crate and pile of debris. He fired a magic bolt at it, which caused them to explode. He trotted over to the crated and levitated a bright, green orb up to himself. “Oh, hey, Suspension Fluid,” Eon said. It then turned to ash. “Hah!” Star groaned. “This is going to take forever!” He whined. “Well, you could always find a galactic vendor and try to buy one if them,” Eon said. “You know, like any sensible person.” “I barely have any units.” “Upload your discoveries and maybe scan some of the plants and rocks around here,” Eon said. “Those will fetch you a bit of money too.” Star aimed his multi-tool at a rock. Sure enough, a notification above a model of the rock on his visual analyzer stated he could upload it to the Atlas for five hundred units. “This shouldn't take too long,” Star said. “Though, question, do I gave any Heridium or Zinc?” “Negative.” “I take what I said back,” Star said. “This is going to be a nightmare.” Thirty minutes later. Star had scanned every nook and cranny a pony could imagine. From the smallest rock to the tallest cactus. He’d also mined every large pillar of Heridium and picked Zinc and Thamium 9 off of various flowers he'd seen. Too bad he'd forgotten one tiny detail. “Eon, where did we land?” “My sensors indicate the ship is about twenty minutes from here.” “How did I get so far from it?!” “You were jumping around like you had springs for hooves and wouldn't stop.” Star let out a frustrated sigh. “Damn it.” “It's your own fault.” “Be quiet.” Twenty minutes later. Star landed softly near his ship when he noticed a creature staring at his ship. It looked like a deer, and its skin was reddish-brown, though parts of it body seemed to be comprised of red scales. It had a few brown spikes on its back, and while its forelegs ended in hooves, its hind legs ended in bizarre smudges. Star frowned. He took out his multi-tool and switched it to the boltcaster. He aimed it at the creature and shot it until it died. “Was that really necessary?” Eon asked. “It wasn't like it was trying to eat your ship.” “Would you have preferred me to have thrown a rock at it and gotten head-butted again?” “Well, it would've been funnier.” “You would've also berated me.” “Fair enough.” Star hopped into his ship and started the ship up. “So, where should I go look for Suspension Fluid?” “Go try the space station,” Eon said. “Maybe if you're lucky, that Gek put a good word in for you.” “Okay,” Star said as he took off and flew towards the space station. “Though, don't you think they'll be mad a few of their pilots crashed into meteors while chasing me?” “You ask me expecting me to know?” “Yes.” “I don't.” “Crap.” Star flew into the space station and landed in the back. “Well, I guess I'm on my own.” “Hey now. You have your good pal, Eon.” “Now I know I'm fucked,” Star said as he entered a similar office to the one he'd been in on the other space station. “Uh, hey there.” The Gek lowered a chart and looked at it. “Fabarga nav kilk por izg,” it said as it pointed to the chart. “You want me to use that?” Star asked as he pointed to the chart. The Gek pointed to a button which read, “multi-tool.” “I think wants you to give it your multi-tool,” Eon. “For the sake of not being shot at again, I think you should it yours.” Star let out a groan and handed the Gek his multi-tool. “You break it and I'll turn you into a jigsaw puzzle.” The Gek laughed and inspected the multi-tool. It tossed it aside, which broke it, and handed Star a new one. “Uhhh… thanks,” Star said as he examined the new multi-tool. It resembled an assault rifle and was a sickly green. “I greatly appreciate it, even if your taste in color is atrocious.” The Gek clapped its hands excitedly and let out a wonderful smell. “Can I shoot it?” “No.” “Please?” “Maybe after you buy the Suspension Fluid.” Star walked over to a machine on the wall and hit a button. “Okay, let's see,” he said as he flipped through a few pages. “Ah-hah!” “How much is it?” Eon asked.. “Six thousand units.” “Well, there goes every unit you have!” “I hate my life,” Star said as he bought the item. “Okay, time to make this crap,” he said. “Just think Star,” Eon said. “When you get the recipe for the fluid, you can make them all on your own.” “Yeah, and I'll still want to bash my head against a rock.” “Crybaby.” Star finished making the warp core. “Can it, Eon,” he said. “And let's leave.” “What’s your problem?” “That headache I woke up with did me no favors for being shot at and having to mine a bunch of crap,” Star said as he walked down a long hallway. “Also, did this space station have the same architect as the other one?” “I'm astounded you actually observed something that wasn't related to units,” Eon said “Am I not allowed to observe something?” Star asked as he entered the landing bay. “I just found it odd is all.” Star walked over to his ship and popped the hatch. “Well, deal with it,” he said as he entered his ship. “Fine, allow me to change the topic," Eon said. “Exactly how are you going to pick your next star system? Are you going to blindly pick one and have fun?” “Damn straight!” Star said as he turned his ship on. “What happened to wanting to get home?” “Oh, I do,” Star said as he flew out into the vacuum of space. “But I feel it'll be fun to explore now that we're a little closer.” Eon remained silent for a few seconds before saying, “We're so going to get lost.” “No we won't,” Star said. “I promise.” “I’m gonna write my will now.” Author's Note A question for you all: would you like me to show the segment's of Star mining? Or just some of it? Or should I do as I did here and just skip to after he's done? I will show a lot more exploration related content starting with the next chapter. Alas, my star system information was lost for whatever dumb reason. Many apologies! Learning A New Language“So let me get this straight,” Eon said. “You want to go home, yet you want to also explore because I said I have a bit more respect for you?” Star Chaser looked at his galactic map. Hundreds of stars filled it as he looked for his next destination. “Well, we'll have to explore to find things to get to home, right?” He asked. “I figure that an occasional break from looking for stuff can't hurt.” “Oh, that's not what I figured you meant.” Star selected a star system and sat back as the ship warped there. “What? Did you think I was going to go backwards?” “Kind of,” Eon said. “You did say you were going to pick out a random star system as your means of getting home.” “Well, I have no idea where Equus is.” “You’ve said that before,” Eon said. “Stop saying it.” “I'm sorry.” “It's fine,” Eon said. “By the way, does that new multi-tool have everything you need?” “Oh, crap, thanks for reminding me.” Star took out the multi-tool and checked. “Yep! It does,” he said. “I still wish your let me shoot that damn Gek though.” “That old multi-tool was three years old,” Eon said. “If anything, that Gek did you a favor.” “Fair enough point,” Star said as the ship arrived by a few enormous space freighters. “So, what's this star system called?” “Gaeseonjuku-Ettsu.” “Sounds exotic,” Star said as he used his scanner. “Ooh, there's a blueprint on that planet,” he said as he steered his ship towards a dry looking planet. “What do you think it's for?” He asked as he pulse jumped towards it. “It's probably something worthless,” Eon said. “Some stupid blueprint for your jetpack.” “You're just jealous because you don't get the satisfaction I do when I leap over a cliff and land safely on the other side,” Star said as the ship broke through the planet's atmosphere. “Holy crap, this planet looks like shit!” Star exclaimed as he got a good look at the less than pleasant sight. The planet's surface was completely barren. Harsh winds swept up dust, and rocks covered the ground like autumn leaves. The land off in the distance was mountainous. Star landed the ship a short distance from a ruined, dust covered building. “Star, I must warn you,” Eon said. “My sensors indicate the planet is extremely hot. I recommend finding something to help your suits thermal power while here.” “Oh, come on, how hot can it be?” Star pipped his ship's hatch. A blast of hot air blew against him as he did so. “Oh, sweet Celestia!” He yelled as his suit scrambled to cool itself. “The air is hotter than a room full of hormonal colts and fillies!” “Thanks, Star. I truly needed that image.” “You're very welcome,” Star said his suit finally cooled itself off. “Okay, what's the planet called?” He asked as he walked towards the building. “Nuriholareyr-Zef.” “What a name,” Star said as he looked up at the sky, which was yellowish and cloudy. “This planet is like Tartarus, only with less evil beings.” “Don't jinx it,” Eon said. “Even I'm somewhat afraid as to what might be here.” “Wow, the big, brave Eon is afraid,” Star said as he walked towards the building. “I'm absolutely shocked.” “Hey, it's perfectly natural,” Eon said. “Even if I can't feel any real emotion… so maybe it isn't actually natural.” Star walked into the building. The inside was dusty, and wires were exposed. A faint, red light glimmered in a corner, which illuminated a portion of a terminal. Near it was another terminal that had a medical cross on it. “Geez, even indoors, it feels like I'm being cooked alive,” Star said as he walked up to the terminal. He hit a button and a blueprint popped up. “Huh, a thermal warmer,” Star said. “Well, I won't complain.” “Maybe the planet's sentient and wants to eat you.” “Sure, and I'm Celestia's child,” Star said as he looked around the room. “Is that really it?” “Looks like it,” Eon said. “By the way, your thermal levels are are at seventy five percent.” “Yeah, I think I'm fine,” Star said as he left the building. He hit his scanner and noticed an odd icon appears not too far from him. It was purple, but the tip center portion was white—as though it was a light. “What do you think that is?” Star asked. “I don't know,” Eon said. “Why don't you go check it out.” Star ran over to the strange object.. “I hope it's something worthwhile.” Upon his arrival, Star saw a small, grey, object. It had a bright light near the top, and a few strange runes on it. Star stared at the object in confusion. “What is that?” “I don't know,” Eon said. “Can you scan it?” Star took out his multi-tool and attempted to scan it. “Nope,” he said. “I feel oddly compelled to touch it though.” “Are you sure that's a good idea?” Eon asked. “I feel like it'll turn you into ash.” “Only one way to found out,” Star said as he approached the object. He placed a hoof on it. Dozens of Gek voices filled the explorers head, each of which said a single word, until one remained. Friend, the voice repeated over and over. Star staggered back and fell onto his haunches. “Damn, that was intense,” he said. “What happened?” Eon asked. “Did you find out the meaning of life?” “No,” Star said as he stood up. “A bunch of Gek were talking to me. It was odd. I could understand what they were saying.” “Were they speaking their native tongue or Equestrian?” “I think they were speaking Equestrian,” Star said. “I wonder if there are more of these things.” “You can look later,” Eon said. “Warning: storm approaching.” “Wait, what kind of storm?” Suddenly, the wind kicked up. Dust blew against Star violently, and is thermal cooling temperature rapidly went down.“O-kay, that isn't good,” he said as he struggled to walk. “Eon, is there any way you could put the oxide elements into my suit on your own?” “No can do, Star,” Eon said. “I can affect your suits systems, but I can't use a physical object.” Star attempted to run towards.the building been in before, but wind proved to be too powerful, and he fell down in exhaustion. “Star, your thermal levels are at twenty five percent.” “When did they hit fifty?!” Star asked as he struggled to stand up. “You were in la-la land,” Eon said. “Or wherever you were when you touched that object.” Star opened his inventory and put some zinc into his thermal power source. “Well, that was all I had. What are they at now?” “Forty percent.” “Great,” Star said as he continued his struggle against the wind that this twisted version of mother nature called weather. “I’ve always wanted to die in a dust storm.” “Star, I have an idea,” Eon said. “It's incredibly risky, but it might work.” “I'm open to all options that don't involve me getting cooked alive!” “Use your magic and make yourself a hole.” “Uhhh… what?” “Maybe if you can make a make deep enough, you can escape the warm winds.” Star didn't argue and fired off a powerful magical beam towards the ground. “If this doesn't work, I’m going to haunt you.” “Hey, I didn't say this was guaranteed to work!” Star stopped casting the magical beam and looked down the hole. “Well, here goes nothing,” he said as he hopped down it. He landed softly at the bottom and fell to his haunches; exhausted and tired. “Hey, it worked!” Eon announced as Stars thermal levels rose back up. “You owe me.” Star passed out. “You can't escape paying your debt!” Star snored peacefully. “Jackass.” A short while later, Star woke up. “How… how long was I out?” “Long enough that your life support levels are at ten percent,” Eon said. “May wanna fix that.” Star's eyes shot open. He frantically look through his inventory and grabbed a bunch of plutonium. “Okay, this will do,” he said as he refilled his life support source. “Geez this is annoying.” “You've managed to do it all of this time,” Eon said. “You can continue to do it.” “Yeah, yeah,” Star said. “Okay, so what was I going to do before I passed out?” “You wondered if there were more of those strange objects around here. Then a really bad dust storm happened and you nearly died.” “Ah, yes,” Star said as he activated his jetpack and ascended out of the hole. “Maybe I should look for a way to counteract that.” “Or, you can just make more holes until it looks like a crazed archaeologist came through here with a giant drill,” Eon said. “I think my idea is cooler.” “Your idea also means I have a higher chance of dying,” Star said. “Of course, I hear they plan on making more seasons of the grounds favorite show: Dirt. I hear season eight hundred and nine is the best of them all.” “Fine, fine,” Eon said. “Maybe there are more abandoned buildings around here that have more thermal add-ons for your exosuit.” Star scanned the area. And found nothing. “Welp, looks like I'll be doing this the old fashioned way,” Star said as he ran back towards his ship. “I'm gonna bet you ten units that you crash into a mountain.” Star popped open the hatch to his ship and leaped into it. “You must have faith in me, young AI!” He exclaimed as he turned his ship on and took off. “I'm a lieutenant after all!” “Okay, first of all, stop with the enthusiasm,” Eon said. “It's really disturbing. Second of all, you're the same lieutenant who once tried threw a multi-tool at a giant ant-like creature that walked in two legs, then ran the other the way when it chased after him, all the while asking why it was doing so.“ “Hey, it was a natural reaction to something four times your size!” Star snapped. “Besides, it was hideous.” “Okay, I'll agree with that. It was probably the ugliest thing we've seen to date.” Star smiled and scanned the land below him. “Hey, I've got a hit!” “Is it a building?” “No, it's some sort of ruin,” Star said. “Should we go check it out?” “I'm afraid that you'll either get bored and fall asleep, or another storm will start up,” Eon said. “Perhaps you should wait.” “What if I land right next to the ruins and wait near the ship?” “You're going to go to the ruins no matter what I say, right?” Star landed his ship in the middle of the ruins. “You say something?” He asked as he popped the ship's hatch. “I said you've got a death wish.” “Oh, I realized that a long time ago,” Star replied as he looked up at the giant ruined structure that loomed before him. It looked like a globe, and was a dark blueish color. Directly below the monolithic story was a hole with something inside of it. Nearby were three of those strange objects Star had seen earlier. “This has to be hundreds of years old,” Eon said. “Perhaps even thousands.” “So, about the age of the average librarian?” “Not that old.” “Oh.” Star approached one of the strange objects and looked at it curiously. “Eon, any idea if there's an impending storm?” “There's a chance there will be one within the next twenty minutes,” Eon said. “Here goes nothing,” Star said. He approached the object and touched it. Again, dozens of voices filled his head until only one remained. Idiot. Star staggered back and glared at the object. “Dick.” “What word stuck with you?” “Idiot,” Star grumbled. “Oh, that's rich!” Star rolled his eyes and walked over to another one of the objects. He touched it. Hello. “Did this one call you a fool?” “No,” Star said. “It just said 'hello'.” “Lame.” Star walked over to the last object and touched it. Sentinel. “That's all of them.” Star turned his attention to the small hole on the ground. “Do I dare touch it?” “I dunno, Eon said. “Do you?” “I was asking you.” “Sure,” Eon replied. Go ahead.” Star approached the circle and nervously touched it. A diamond-shaped object sprung out of it. Lines of code filled Stars mind as he stared blankly at the object. You desire the knowledge within these knowledge stone's and this monolith? Find the Atlas then. Then, just as quickly as it appeared, the object shot back into the ground. Star staggered backwards and fell down next to a stone. “Uh, Star? Are you okay?” Eon asked. “My brain is full of fuck.” “That’s nice and all,” Eon said, “but you may wanna get into your ship because, like any great weatherman, I was wrong about my prediction.” Star's eyes shot open. “Wait, you admired to being wrong?!” “Star! It's going to start storming any second now!” As if on queue, the wind picked up violently. Dust blew against Star as a sudden realization hit him. He was about to be cooked alive by a barren planet that he compared to a bunch of horny kids. With every ounce of strength he stood up and tried to reach his ship. Come on, Star, he thought as he struggled against the violent wind. No planet is going to keep you down! After several grueling minutes, Star reached his ship. he held onto its side and, using his magic, popped the ship's hatch open. He slowly climbed in and shut the hatch. “Hah! Suck it, planet!” “Star, you realize you were only three feet from your ship that whole time, right?” “Lemme have my moment.” “You could've just held onto the side of the ship and used it as support.” “Stop ruining my heroic feeling!” “No.” “Feh, fine,” Star said as he adjusted himself. “So, that… monolith thing told me to go 'find the Atlas’.” “Wait, the place you upload that data to?” “I guess,” Star said. “Where exactly is the Atlas?” “I haven't got the slightest idea.” “You think it has anything worth taking?” “I've read that there are things called Atlas stones that are worth a lot of units.” “Oooh.” “They're also extremely rare.” “Never mind!” “So, no Atlas hunting?” Star tapped his chin. “Maybe.” Author's Note I don't plan on having Star go down the path of the Atlas. That said, he'll encounter it at least once. A Recipe for DisasterStar Chaser sat in his ship with a look of frustration on his face as he watched the storm outside rage on. He let out a sigh and sat back in his seat. “So, twice today you've almost died,” Eon said. “I'd seriously recommend looking for something to combat the heat outside.” “Okay, fine,” Star replied. “How about we go hunt for something like that thermal warmer I found earlier?” “Are you sure that's a good idea?” Eon asked. “The visibility with the storm is horrendous.” “I'll be fine,” Star said. “Alright,” Eon said. “Any idea where one might be?” “I'd guess in a building like the one I found the other in,” Star said. “Personally, I was hoping you might've detected one while I flew to the ruins.” “Negative,” Eon said. “However, I did detect a bit of wildlife.” “Of course you did.” Star turned his ship on and took off. “Tell me, did any look like the creatures from the monster movies back home?” “How should I know?” Eon asked. “I only detected their presence.” “I seriously need to find an upgrade for your radar,” Star mused as he scanned the ground below him. “Oh, hey, a distress beacon.” “Are you gonna check it out?” “No. Whoever set it up and can wait for a real hero,” Star said as he flew west and scanned the ground again. “And another fucking beacon. How many poor souls got lost here?!” “You're one of them.” “I have a functioning ship.” “You're about to crash into a mountain.” Star shook his head. “Oh, shit!” He said as he swerved around the top of a mountain. “Pilot of the year,” Eon said sarcastically. “Next time, wait for the storm to end." “Quiet,” Star said as he scanned the ground for a third time. “Oh, hey, a hit on something that isn't a beacon!” “What is it?” “Looks like a building,” Star said. He descended towards the location of the hit. Through the thick dust, a tall, crumbling, dust covered building came into view. “Looks old,” Star said. I'm shocked it's still standing.” “I've detected another one of those 'knowledge stones’ you found earlier in the general area,” Eon said. “Maybe you can learn more words so you know when a Gek is insulting your unrivaled brilliance.” “Then I can shoot them, right?” “No.” “But mom!” “Do that again and your oxygen supply goes the way of the Dodo.” “Jerk,” Star grumbled as he landed a few feet away from the ruin. “So, any idea when the storm will subside?” “I’m afraid that if I make another prediction, we’ll be stuck in here for nine hours.” Star shivered. “That's scarier than being in a petting zoo.” “You say that as my sensors pick up movement not too far from the ship.” Star let out a groan. “Which direction?” “Behind us.” Star looked behind the ship. He could barely make out the outline of a wolf-like creature. “Nope.” Star turned his ship back on, lifted off, moved back a few feet, and… Crunch Landed on the animal. “Was that really necessary?” Eon asked. “Yep.” “You have issues.” “In my defense, I never do well with animals.” “I stand by what I said,” Eon said. “By the way: storm clearing.” Star popped the ship's hatch as the wind died down. He hopped out and scanned the area. “Ah, there's that stone,” he said as he approached it. He put his hoof on it, and dozens of voices filled his head until only one remained. Gek. “'Hello, idiot Gek friend,’ the Sentinel said,” Star said. “What are you going on about?” Eon asked. “I learned how to say 'Gek’,” Star said. “So I made a little story.” “Your story sucks.” “I know it does,” Star said as he looked up at the ruined building. “Okay, let's see what the place holds in store for us.” Up close, it looked like a portion of a castle, and had a greenish tint underneath all of the dust, though it'd been weathered away by the wind and blistering heat. “Hey, you think we'll find Gek mummies here?” Star asked. “I hope we do.” “Why?” “Because it'd be awesome.” “That's a really bland reason.” “Fine: because mummies are usually buried with valuable things,” Star said as he approached the structure. “Go back to your original reason,” Eon said. “It makes you look a little better in my processors.” “Too late, sucker,” Star said as he entered the structure. The inside was largely unimpressive. A few vases and urns lay broken on the floor, and the air was humid. A small, but broken, staircase lead to an upper level. “Well, I can tell this place is going to hold all sorts of wondrous things,” he said sarcastically. “Star, this is the first room,” Eon said. “Why don't you go explore the rest of the place before you whine that there's nothing here.’ “Yeah, but it feels so… empty,” Star said as he walked towards the broken staircase and walked up it, the stairs creaking with each step he took. “You’ve seen far too many movies,” Eon said. “They’re ruins. Of course they're empty!” leaped over to the other side and continued up to a the second—and final—room. The room had no door that lead into it, and was covered in a thick layer of dust. Despite that, one object was still visible. A small chest. “Ooh, it's like a Daring Do adventure!” Star exclaimed. “Okay, I just have to slowly make my way to the chest, right?” “You're a unicorn, and you have a shield that can save you from animals with teeth bigger than you, bullets, and explosions, just to name a few. Why not just run and grab whatever is in there?” “Because that wouldn't be fun.” “Star,” Eon said, “just grab whatever is in there. Please.” Star let out a heavy sigh. “Fine, but only because you said please.” He walked over to the chest and opened it. “Well, hello there,” he said as he levitated a blueprint for a Plasma Launcher out. “You'll prove to be fun.” “Oh, just what you need,” Eon said. “Something that could destroy part of a building.” “I didn't even think about that. Thanks!” “Shit.” Star looked at the required resources. “Feh, I need more Heridium and Carbon,” he grumbled. “Eon, any signs of a storm soon?” “Negative,” Eon answered. “Though I'd make it quick. I was wrong last time.” Star stood up and ran out of the room. He leaped off of the staircase landed softly on the ground below. “Okay, this shouldn't take too long,” he said as he walked out. He took out his multi-tool and mined some carbon from a nearby plant. “Any idea where a nearby pillar of Heridium might be?” “Why not scan the location instead of asking me?” “Someone has an attitude.” “I'm not a damn scanner, Star,” Eon said. “I may be able to detect things, but I can't hand out coordinates.” “Well, excuse me!” Star said as he scanned the area. “Okay, a pillar is right nearby.” “I’d recommend taking your ship in case a storm occurs,” Eon said. “Unless you want to pass out in a hole again.” “Okay, mom,” Star said. “Want to also give me a curfew?” “Be home by six, and don't take candy from strangers.” “What if they offer me a teddy bear?” “Then it's perfectly okay to go with them!” “You'd make the worst parent ever,” Star said as he popped the hatch to his ship. “And that's taking into account yours truly,” he said as turned his ship on and took off. “I'm honored to hold such a title.” Star chuckled. “It isn't the only title you hold,” he said.“You also hold the title for worst AI ever.” “You take that back this instant you heartless bastard!” “Nope.” Eon cut Star's oxygen supply off. “Take it back!” “I… ake… back!” Eon turned Star's oxygen supply back on. “Good boy!” Star gasped for air. “What the hell, Eon?!” “What? I've threatened to cut it off before!” “Yeah, but I never thought you'd actually do it!” Star said as he landed his ship near the Heridium pillar. “Besides, I called you the 'worst AI anyone could ask for’ the other day.” “I wouldn't have actually let you die you baby,” Eon said. “And that isn't the day same as actually calling me the worst AI.” Star cursed to himself and fired his multi-tool’s mining laser at the pillar. “You can be such a meanie pants.” “Using insults meant for five year olds I see?” “Got a problem with it?” “Well, I don't wear pants for starters,” Eon said. “And no, I don't. Actually, it's rather adorable.” “I think I'm going to be sick,” Star said as he finished mining the Heridium. “The notion that you find something I did adorable is… ew!” Star's face turned green and he ran back into his ship. One vomiting session later “Remind me to do that more often,” Eon said. “I feel it's the perfect Achilles heel.” “I hate you,” Star said as he threw an inconspicuously green bag down into a ravine. “Like, I hate you so much that I could make this planet five degrees hotter.” “That isn't much hatred when you consider this planet is over two hundred degrees Fahrenheit.” “Oh.” “Yeah, maybe you should amp it up to about fifty degrees hotter.” “Maybe later,” Star said as he pulled out the blueprint he found earlier. “For now, I must make this!” “How adorable.” “That wasn't genuine!” “Damn it.” Star chuckled to himself as he began to put together a new chip for his multi-tool. “Let's see, this goes here and that goes into that…” “Oh, how I'd love to see you describe the birds and the bees to a bunch of foals.” “I tried that once actually.” “What happened?” “Well, let's just say the local school doesn't like me anymore.” “Seems like a net gain for them all things considered.” Star scoffed as he finished the chip. “Okay, time to see what this bad boy can do!” He said as he implemented the chip into his multi-tool. “Don’t blow yourself up.” Star aimed the multi-tool at a nearby boulder and fired off a plasma grenade. Boom! The boulder exploded into hundreds of tiny pieces. A crater remained where the giant hunk of rock was proudly stood motionless. “That was freaking awesome!” Star exclaimed. “Think I could use it to defend myself against wildlife?” “You… you wanna blow them up?” Eon asked. “Why?!” “What? You're shocked I’d want to extract revenge on them after being head-butted so much?” “Yeah, but that's a grenade launcher and they're animals.” “So?” “You can't put two and two together here, can you?” “Animal plus grenade equals happy Star.” “You have a regular gun and yet you opt to use the explosive launcher,” Eon said. “Your logic baffles me.” “My logic is amazing.” “No it isn't.” “It's flawless.” “Damn it, Star, I swear I will cut your oxygen supply off again.” “Fine, fine,” Star said. “I won't use the grenade launcher on the animals.” “Terrific!” Eon said. “Now, you may want to get back to your ship.” Suddenly, the wind picked up, and Star was blown against a rock. “I've had it with this fucking planet!” He growled as he struggled to stand back up. “Hey, I have this crazy idea,” Eon said. “You have a grenade launcher. Why not use that to make a hole you can stay in?” “Works for me!” Star aimed his multi-tool at the ground in front of him and fired a few grenades at it. “That'll work,” he said as he blindly leaped down into the hole. And into a cavern. Thud! “Okay, I wasn't expecting actual rock at the bottom.” “Nice landing,” Eon said. “I give it a six.” “I'll take it,” Star said as he stood up. He took out his multi-tool and hit the scanner on it. Dozens of veins of Plutonium and other elements popped up on his visor. “Ho-oly shit,” he said. “That's a lot of useful stuff.” “Star, I don't think you have enough slots in your inventory to carry all of that,” Eon said. “Let alone enough storage in your ship.” “Eon, I've got this,” Star said. “Can I put a waypoint marker here?” “Unfortunately, no.” “What?!” Star cried out. “Why the fuck not?!” “Your suit isn't equipped with such a function,” Eon said. “While I may find it amusing to see you flip out, I do think it's total crap nonetheless.” Star let out an annoyed groan. “I was going to go back and forth between the space station and sell all of this,” Star said. “Guess I'll take what I can carry.” “Star, that seems incredibly inefficient when you take into account how long that would take,” Eon said as Star mined a vein of plutonium. “You'd have to take maybe four or five trips!” “Yeah, and imagine how many units if make,” Star said as he finished mining the vein of plutonium. “I could buy a new ship!” “You have a coupon for a free one, don't you?” “Oh, shit, I do,” Star answered. “I’ll worry about it next time we go to a space station.” “Then you'll forget about it, right?” “Probably,” Star said. “But you can remind me, right?” “Fine, but only because I want to see what the ship looks like,” Eon said. “By the way, the storm's clearing,” Eon said as Star mined a vein of gold. “So you can go resume your little journey to get that thermal coolant.” “Do you feel it's really worth the effort?” Star asked. “This planet wouldn't be as bad as it is if it wasn't so violently windy.” “I've read of planets getting up to temperatures as high as six hundred degrees Fahrenheit.” “Never mind, I'll go find it,” Star said as he continued to mine. “Let me just got few more minerals!” “Star, with how long you take, another storm will have started by the time you're done.” “Eon, this is necessary!” Star said in a pleading voice. “In case a future blueprint needs any of these to be made!” “You can't fool me,” Eon said. “You're going to sell them.” “I need to get a better poker face,” Star mumbled. “Fine, let's go,” he said as he walked back to the hole he'd made. “Oh, don't be sad,” Eon said as Star ascended up through the hole. “There will no doubt be more minerals you can mine on the next planet.” “Yeah, but those were all so condensed!” Star whined as he walked back to his ship. It took the aspect of mining I hate the most out and let me just take it all!” “If we were down there for another four minutes, you would've gotten bored.” “You… aren't wrong, which ticks me off,” Star said as he popped the hatch to his ship. “It's almost as bad as when I'm wrong!” “Good thing they both happen equally,” Eon said. “Now, how do you propose you get that thermal coolant?” “It was your idea,” Star said as he turned his ship on and took off. “Why don't you give me an idea?” “Go find another building.” “Wonderful idea!” Star said. “Shouldn't take too long,” he said as he scanned the ground below. “Now watch it take us several ho-” “I found one!” “Well, damn.” Star landed his ship outside of a small, dust covered building. Outside of the building stood a broke beacon and a few containers that had been looted. A few animals scurried away as Star hopped out of his ship and walked towards the building. “Lady luck, be kind to ol’ Star.” “Says the thirty-three year old stallion.” “It sounded better that way,” Star said as he entered the building that looked as those it had been unearthed from beneath a desert. “If I didn't know any better, every building on this planet was a sandcastle,” he said as he observed the interior. A terminal, first-aid kit, and multi-tool—which rested on the wall—were all covered in dust. The corpse of a Gek sat in the corner. Beside it was a second multi-tool, which had been partly eaten. “Let me guess,” Eon said. “You're going to search that Gek?” “Oh, come on,” Star said. “I was just joking about the mummies earlier.” “Sure you were.” Star rolled his eyes and approached the multi-tool on the wall. “This thing looks ancient,” he said. “My sensors indicate it's five years old.” “Like I said: ancient,” Star said as he set his sights on the terminal. “Eon, do you have any idea if this thing is still functional?” “In all truthfulness, I'm not sure,” Eon answered. “No part of it appears to be damaged.” Star hesitantly hit a switch, which turned the terminal on, which caused a message to appear. Gek crew crashed on planet to try and tried to survive against harsh conditions and wildlife. Most wildlife not threatening, but one creature with huge teeth crave meat and want to eat Gek. Afraid I won't survive long. Others couldn't contact space station. Signal too weak, and weather damaged beacon beyond repair. Did create something to combat harsh weather. Doesn't last long, but was enough to help us get food. Uses Oxide elements to keep cool. Whoever finds this, take it. Blueprint at end of this message. A blueprint suddenly popped out of an compartment on the side of the terminal. Star picked it up and looked at it with a smile. “Score!” “You know, if you install that, you should probably install the thermal warmer too.” “That isn't a bad idea,” he said. “Still, that's two slots in my inventory taken. Any idea where I could get more?” “Go find a place where you can get more slots?” “The ever helpful Eon! Just telling me to go find a place with no help!” “Okay, there places that sell them. Sometimes, when space freighters are attacked, certain parts are launched out to screw the pirates over, and they sometimes land on nearby planets. You can't miss them, they're rather big, and have a safety field in front of where you enter to purchase the additional inventory space.” “See, that wasn't so bad now was it?” “I think I died a little on the inside.” Star laughed. “The little things in life,” he said as he looked over the blueprint. “Iron and carbon… okay, that should be easy.” Star rolled up the blueprint and placed it in his inventory. He walked towards the exit where he was greeted by a small, yellow-brown colored creature. Its neck was horizontal, and its head—which had a beak for a nose, two horns at the top, and no visible face—was tilted downwards. It had two short, slender legs that looked to have dust-colored vines wrapped around it. Star stared down at the abomination. The abomination stared down at the ground. “You are horrifying.” The abomination ran off. “Guess you hurt its feelings,” Eon said. “Bummer,” Star said. “I kinda wanted to kick it.” “Okay, I admit: that would've been kinda funny to see,” Eon said “except it wouldn't have you soulless monster.” Star chuckled. “Stop, I might blush,” he said as he popped the hatch to his ship and got in. “Okay, now to leave this shithole for good!” “Warning: storm incoming.” “Oh, yay, a parting gift,” Star said as he took off. Despite the piss poor visibility, Star broke through the planet’s atmosphere and was soon in orbit around the planet. “Do you think if I report that building to a Gek at the space station, they'd reward me?” “They might,” Eon said. “But do you really care enough to do so?” “Good point,” Star answered. “Off to a new world then!” Author's Note Hope you all didn't mind me actually putting what the message was in the terminal. While i normally would have something an alien says be gibberish, I felt it worked better if it was readable here. Anyways, hope you all enjoyed it! Somepony's SkyStar Chaser whistled a nameless tune as he navigated his way through a small field of meteors. Around him were a few enormous space freighters, and off in the distance was a vibrant, red planet "Music to my processors,” Eon said as Star continued to whistle. “So, what are your plans when you arrive on planet blood drive over there?” Star stopped whistling and chuckled. “I'll harness the power of vampires and create an army to take over the galaxy,” he said. “Then nobody will be able to stop me!” “How creative,” Eon said. “Now, what are you really going to do?” “Get an army of werewolves.” Eon remained silent. “Fine, fine,” Star said. “What was that fluid thingy I needed?” “You mean Suspension Fluid?” Eon asked. “Well, that'd be great. If you do find a blueprint for that, you're nearly set for your trip home.” “Have you forgotten who you're with?” Star asked. “Because I think my werewolf plan might've fried your processors a bit.” “Yes, I remember,” Eon said. “I'm with the dumbest pilot in the galaxy.” “I appreciate your compliment,” Star said as he approached the red planet. “I hope this color doesn't become reoccurring thing.” “Don't like the color red I take it?” “Well, there's only one color I truly dislike, and that's purple. That said, red would probably be my second least favorite color. It's more that red is the color of blood,” Star said. “So, I'm going to guess you're squeamish and that you aren't a fan of princess Twilight if that's the case?” “Yes to squeamish and sorta,” Star said. “If she dyed her coat, maybe I'd like her more. As it is, I always want to empty a bucket of paint onto her.” Before Eon could reply, a wave of light flew over. Star's ship. “What was that?” He asked. “That was another ships star system scan.” “That's… not good, is it?” Star asked as he got within the red planet's gravitational pull. As if on queue, an alarm started to blare inside the ship. Star covered his ears and cringed at the painfully loud noise. “Warning: hostile ships approaching,” Eon said. “So, I guess that answers your question.” “No, I think I need it spelled out for me,” Star said as he tried to activate his ships boosters. “Oh, come on! They're jammed? What a load!” While Star started to break through the planet's atmosphere, numerous ships appeared not too far from him and attacked a nearby space freighter. “Oh, Star! Your friends who you tried to rob,” Eon said. “What did you call then?” “I said they're what one would get if they combined the shame one feels after a college party that involved heavy drinking and a bunch of cockroaches “ Star said as his ship entered the planet's skies. “Now, with any luck, they won't see me and I can go about my life without disruption.” “Well, I just detected another scan from a few of them,” Eon said. “So, you may be cautious.” Star groaned. “I hate pirates,” he said as he flew over a red meadow. “Uh… Star?” “Some of are behind me, aren't they?” “Some of them are behind you.” Suddenly, several plasma bolts flew passed Star, along with two laser beams. “Oh, crap!” Star yelled as he tried to dodge the oncoming barrage of fire. “Okay, is there any way i can lose them?” “You could land, but I fear they'd be too much for even your shield to handle,” Eon said. “My only advice is to try and fend them off.” Star let out a frustrated sigh as another barrage of plasma bolts flew passed his ship, a few striking the rear of the ship. “Okay, no reason to panic.” Vwoom! An enormous, green energy beam flew passed Star's ship and struck a large tree in front of it, which caused it to explode. “Never mind, I'm in full blown panic mode!” Star said as he made a sharp right turn. Crash! Behind him, a ship tried to make the same sudden turn and slammed into the ground. It rolled over numerous times and finally settled where the tree had been, now resembling a piece of abstract art. “Star, your ship has weapons, right?” “Yeah, and I despise-” “Fucking use them!” Star turned his ship upwards and spun it around. He locked onto one of the ships and fired his plasma cannon at it, which blasted the ship's left wing off. Woosh! Star watched as the ship flew passed the left side of his windshield and slammed into the ground. “Ho-oly crap that was awesome!” He said as the ship exploded into heaps of flaming twisted metal. “While I agree, you still have three other ships to deal with and they seem rather content with lining up like ducks at a carnival game.” Star turned his attention to the center ship had a large cannon in the front that appeared to be charging something. “Oh, balls.” VWOOM! The central ship fired off an enormous, green energy beam enveloped Star's ship. “Warning: Shields at twenty five percent.” “Shit, shit, shit.” In a panic, Star slammed onto his ships boosters at he frantically searched for oxide elements to restore his ship's shields. Crash! Star jerked forward violently as his ship flew straight into the leftmost ship, and tore through the cockpit, which instantly killed the pilot, and sending the ship crashing into the ground. “Now you have no shields!” Eon exclaimed sarcastically. “Good going!” Star grabbed a bit of zinc and placed it into a small opening in his ship, which caused his shields to quickly rise back up. “Where are the last-” Woosh! A ship flew passed the right side of Star's ship, turned to face him, and fired off a wild barrage of plasma bolts. “Your shields are now at seventy five percent,” Eon said as Star made a sharp left turn. “What? Not gonna issue a warning?” Star asked as more bolts flew passed his ship. “Figured I'd spice things up.” “Well, I appreciate it,” Star said as he spotted another tree. “I have a terrible idea.” “Implying you've ever had a good idea?” “Not now, Eon!” Star said as he turned his shop towards the tree. “I just hope the bastard behind me doesn't-” Vwoom! The tree which Star had been flying towards exploded, and left behind a fiery stump. “My life sucks more than a black hole,” Star said as the ship with the large cannon flew passed Star and out of sight, and the other ship flew up along side Star's left side. Bang! The ship slammed into Star's ship, which caused the frustrated explorer to grit his teeth. “If they chipped the ship's paint…” “Why do you care about the paint more than your life?” “Because the paint makes it look awe-” Bang! Before Star could finish his sentence, the assaulting ship slammed into him again. “Screw this!” Star roared. He slammed into the aggressing ship and shook his hoof at the other pilot like an angry commuter. “Do you really think they understand you?” “Quiet it, makes me feel better,” Star said as he went to slam back into the other ship. However, the other pilot retaliated and slammed into Star even harder. “That sob of a bitch,” Star growled. He retaliated by slamming into the ship even harder. “Star, if I may suggest, why not fly up?” Star’s eyes widened. “That's a brilliant idea!” He said. He watched as the other pilot prepared to slam into him. “Screw you, other pilot!” He yelled as he flew up. He looked out his right window and watched as the other ship flew into the side if a mountain and exploded. “Star, the fact you didn't think to do that tells me all too much about how smart you are.” “There will be time for insults after we-” VWOOM! An enormous energy beam flew right passed Star’s ship, narrowly missing him. “Deal with the last ship.” The final ship hovered in front of Star. Its cannon glowed a faint green. “Star, may I suggest that you shoot it,” Eon said. “Also, I believe shooting it may work.” “Okay, so you want me to negotiate with it?” Star asked as the cannon glowed brighter. “Star, this is no time for being a wise ass! Just shoot the stupid thing until it explodes into a thousand tiny pieces and we can all roast s'mores over the twisted heaps of metal!” “So, you want me to try to coax it into letting me keep it as a pet?” Star asked with a chuckle. “No, I want you teach it how to dance.” Star swerved to the right as the cannon fired off a powerful energy beam. “Okay. I've got this,” he said as he aimed his plasma cannon at the ship's large cannon. He slammed on the fire button and watched as dozens of small plasma bolts flew towards the cannon. Kaboom! The ship, rather anticlimactically, exploded in a mixture of green and orange. Chunks of fiery twisted metal flew in all directions as Star watched in awe. “This sky is mine!” Star said with a large smile. “I'm honestly shocked you didn't die,” Eon said. “I'm a lieutenant for a reason,” Star said with a cocky grin. “Now, let's find a place to settle down for the night,” he said. “I don't feel terribly safe where most of these bastards ships have gone down.” “I can get behind that,” Eon said. “I just hope they don't somehow find you while you sleep.” “I have you,” Star said as he scanned the land around him. “Hey, there's a place not too far from here,” he said as he flew towards it. “Anyways, if anyone breaks in, you can make a crap ton of noise. Like a dog!” “I’m glad you think so much if me.” “What? Dogs are called a stallion's best friend!” “Something tells me you don't think that way about me.” “Well, if I had to be honest, you're the only real… thing that I've had to talk to. So, even though I hate you, you're still technically my best friend as of now. “That's both processor warming and disgusting.” “You're welcome!” Star said as he landed outside a small, rundown, building that resembled a boxcar. “Something tells me this isn't exactly a five star hotel.” “Is it the fact it's a single building that looks like it's a shed or the fact it looks like it hasn't been visited in years?” Star popped his ship's hatch and hopped out of it. “I was gonna say it's the fact it makes me sad just looking it,” he said as he shut the hatch. He looked at the side of his ship and frowned. “That bastard did scratch the paint!” “With how many meteors you've hit over the years, I doubt it makes a difference.” Star let out a sigh. “I guess,” he said. “So, if I may finally ask now that I'm not being shot at while flying,” he said as he walked towards the building, “what's the name of this planet?” “Tommotr LX307,” Eon said. “It sounds more like a model name for a starship than a planet name to me.” “Maybe it's actually a big, spherical ship!” Star said as he entered the building. “And this is about as dull as dull can get.” The inside of the building was completely empty, save for a blueprint on the floor. Star walked over and picked it up. “What's it for?” “Radiation protection,” Star said as he sat in the floor and stretched out. “Guess it's something.” “So are you going to sleep in here?” Eon asked. “Because my sensors indicate it's about twelve degrees Fahrenheit in here.” “Well, I was,” Star said. “When I read 'shelter’ while flying here, I expected a bed. Not what looks like a storage house.” “So, back to the ship?” Eon asked. “Back to the ship,” Star answered as he walked out of the building and over to his ship. “Reminds me of when I had a marefriend,” he said as he popped the hatch and hopped in. “But instead of a couch, it's the cockpit of a starship.” “If you have the slightest bit of an imagination, pretend I'm playing a violin.” Star shut the hatch to his ship and lay back in his seat. “No.” “Well, screw you then.” “Right back at you, bud, “ Star replied. With that, he shut his eyes and drifted off to sleep. That evening, Star slept peacefully CRASH! That is, until something crashed into the building in front of him while he slept. Star shot up and frantically looked around. “What the fuck?!” He asked. “Uh… Star,” Eon said. “You may not like this.” “What?” Star asked. “Has the wildlife learned how to make weapons and they're taking us over?” “No,” Eon said. “That enormous thing in the sky is.” Suddenly, an enormous shadow covered the land. Star looked up at the sky. “Oh... crap,” he said softly. A space freighter slowly descended to the ground. Fiery metal chunks rained down to the land like meteors. Star gulped as stared at the behemoth of a ship. “Why is that falling into the planet?” “The pirates must've destroyed its gravitational thrusters, so it got pulled in by the planet's gravitational pull,” Eon said. “I wouldn't be shocked if they brought it in closer as an act of revenge against the Gek for having them on their most wanted list.” “They're so charming,” Star said sardonically as he took off in the opposite direction of the enormous ship of no doubt wonderfully valuable and useful loot and items. Too bad most were stolen or destroyed “You know, you should buy a freighter,” Eon said. “Then, whenever you get home, you can show Celestia you bring her gifts from tons of worlds.” “I wouldn't spend that much just to brag that I've got a bunch of shit to show her,” Star said. “Unless she made me into a high ranking official.” “Surely she'd give you something for bringing back so many things, right?” “Yeah, and you're expecting me to not have sold it all.” “Well, wouldn't the currency back on home be more useful than units?” “You see, once Equus established its federation in space, it scrapped the 'bit’ in favor of the unit, since that acts as currency for other races.” “So, rather than give gifts from various other worlds to your monarch, you'd rather give them to the highest seller?” “Bingo!” Star exclaimed. “You win a round of applause from me!” Star clapped his hooves together when... CRASH! The space freighter finally slammed into the ground and sent up a tsunami of dirt. The monstrous, burning ship obliterated everything in its path before it finally stopped in the middle of the once dense and beautiful forest. Star stood motionless, a look of shock on his face. “Well,” he said sat motionless. “Should we go look at what remains?” “Absolutely,” Eon said. “I’m curious to see what it looks like myself.” Star flew up and turned around. Below, he saw the fiery wreckage the space freighter. “Think it's picture worthy?” “Oh, definitely,” Eon answered. “You can give it to Celestia as an Equus Day card and tell her to 'save the environment’!” “I like your thinking,” Star said as he looked around for a camera. KABOOM! Star flinched as the freighter exploded in an enormous ball of fire and metal, which leveled the nearby forestation and set it ablaze. “Guess it was camera shy,” Eon said. “Dang, I really wanted that picture,” Star said. “Oh well. Time to start looking for that Suspension Fluid blueprint again.” “The faster, the better,” Eon said. “I have a feeling those pirates are going to return soon.” “And if they do, I'll… probably run like a chicken,” Star said as he scanned the land below him. An outpost marked itself on his ships map. “Until let, let's try to enjoy the planet.” “My sensors indicate this planet has a lot of fauna.” Star placed his forehooves onto his temples. He looked up at the sky and yelled, “Damn it all to Tartarus!” Author's Note Felt like having an action filled chapter. Hope that didn't annoy anyone! Pony Vs. WildlifeStar Chaser let out a heavy sigh. “I haven't been on this planet for a full day and I've been attacked by pirates, had to fly away from a destroyed space freighter and, worst of all, been told this stupid place is heavily populated with wildlife!” “Why don't you just go fly to another planet?” Eon asked. “Nobody is going to make you stay here.” “Except for the remaining pirates who won't think twice about stealing my stuff and killing me.” “So… shoot back?” Star scanned the ground veloe, which detected a small structure. “Eon, there are how many of them?” he asked as he landed. “I think I'm better off here for now. Might as well make the most of it, right?” “Fair enough,” Eon said. “Though be warned, I've detected a fair amount of wildlife movement not far from here.” Star took a deep breath. “I'll be fine,” he said as he popped his ship's hatch. He hopped out and shut it when something caught his eye. “Hey, Eon? Remember what you said about flying snakes?” “Yeah, I do.” “Well, I see a ton of creatures that look like worms,” Star said. “Close enough though, right?” In the sky were a few large, slender creatures. The top half of them were light brown in color, while the bottom half was yellow. They had two fins hear their heads in both sides, and had two dorsal fins near their heads. Star took out his multi-tool and scanned one of them. Lotabro Aysiro Temperament: Bold Diet: Grazing Creature Weight:188.48kg Height: 3.68 “What a name,” Star said as he observed the giant worm-like creatures. “Maybe if you catch one, you can fish up a giant fish,” Eon said. “Then you can lure out a giant best to eat it!” “I'm going to have nightmares for weeks now,” Star said as he scanned the area. “Great, more animals.” “You know, I remember reading about some Gek feeding animals as a way to get resources,” Eon said. “Some would dig them up, while others would guard them as they mined. Why not try that?” “You're kidding, right?” Star asked. “I don't know what they exactly like and dislike!” “Neither did they.” “How exactly do you know this?” “I get bored while you sleep,” Eon said. “So I snoop through historical files.” “Yet you don't share this stuff with me… why?” “You don't deserve it.” Star rolled his eyes. “Jerk,” he said as he walked over the hill. On the other side was a four legged creature that resembled a dog, though it had bright green scales and its stomach was light beige. It had three fins on its back, and two pointy ears. Near the ears were two horns that arched backwards. Star took out his multi-tool and scanned it. Cocledalmum Ueorgitat Temperament: Ambulatory Diet: Oxide elements Weight: 102.98kg Height: 1.33m “Okay, I just need a bit of iron,” Star said. He walked over to a nearby rock and fired his multi-tool’s mining laser at it. “You think it'll like iron?” Star asked as he obtained a bit of the element. “Even if it doesn't, perhaps you can convince it that you're trying to help prevent it from becoming anemic.” “Let me first learn how to speak animal,” Star said as he walked over to the creature. “Hey, buddy,” he said in an unconvincingly kind-hearted voice. The creature turned its head and looked at Star. “Argoo?” Star pulled out some iron and levitated it to the animal. “Want some?” The animal looked down at the iron and ate it quickly. “Argoo!” the animal ran in a circle and proceeded to run off. “Should I follow it?” Star asked. “Worth a shot,” Eon answered. “Of course, that's entirely on you.” Star ran in the direction the animal ran in. “Hey, what're you doing, little guy?” Star asked as he held back the urge to call the creature numerous horrible and brutally insulting names. The creature dropped a small rock in front of star and looked up at him with beady eyes. Star levitated the object up and looked at it. “It found me a rock,” he deadpanned. “How about you open it?” Star placed it down and opened it. Inside was a bit of plutonium. “How wonderful,” he said. “Something I can find on every planet I'm ever on.” “The animal's digging something else,” Eon said. Star levitated the plutonium up and placed it into his inventory. He walked over to the animals and looked at the object. “Can't you find something… interesting?” Star asked. The animal frowned. “Argoo…” it said sadly. “Yeah, sad eyes aren't going to work on me.” The animal frowned even more. “Still not working.” The animal's frown faded. “Argoo!” it cried before it bit Star. Star leaped back in pain. “Oh, you stupid bastard!” he yelled. “Screw you!” he growled before he kicked the animal. And hurt his hoof. “Holy crap, are you made of metal?!” Star yelled as he shook his hoof in pain. The animal growled angrily and lashed out at Star. Star leaped back and pulled out his multi-tool. “I'll have you-’ The animal swiped away the multi-tool and rammed into the babbling stallion. “Star, you'd make a grade A zookeeper,” Eon said. “By the way, this is so your fault.” “Get off of me!” Star said as he threw several right hooks to the animal's less durable face. “Also, you're not helping, Eon!” Star said as he finally hurled the animal off of himself. “I'm not trying to,” Eon replied. “Don't care,” Star said as he levitated his multi-tool over to himself. He switched the boltcaster function on and aimed it at the rampaging animal. “I wish I was good at making one-” The animal swiped the multi-tool away again. “Star, stop pretending you're in a movie and just shoot the fucking thing.” “You never let me have fun,” Star said as his horn lit up. He fired off a powerful magic bolt at the animal, which struck its head. The animal recoiled in pain. It staggered back and glared angrily at Star before it ran off. Star let out a sigh of relief. “That was too close,” he said. “Your shields never went below ninety percent,” Eon said. “That said, that as entirely your fault.” “Yeah, yeah,” Star said as he waved his hoof. He levitated his multi-tool back over and put it in his holster. “Okay, now, where was I going?” “You detected a small structure and for some reason didn't just fly to it as you said you would after nearly freezing a few planets back.” Star facehoofed. “Right, forgot about that,” he said. “Oh well, no point in turning back.” “Your ship is less than fifty feet behind us.” “Eon, let me do this my way.” “Fine.” “Wonderful!” Star exclaimed as he made his way to the small structure with forced glee. A short while, Star and best friend for life—Eon—arrived at the structure. “It looks like my dream house,” Star said as he approached the structure. “Your dream house was a one floor shack?” “I never had much ambition when I was a colt,” Star said as he entered the structure/shack. “Oh… for Celestia's sake,” he said. Inside was a four-winged creature. Its back was bright green, while the rest of it was a light brown. It had a small, red beak, and it's wings resembled a dragonfly’s. Star took out his multi-tool and scanned the winged creature. Cocledalmum Ueorgitat Temperament: Ambulatory Diet: Oxide elements Weight: 94.08kg Height: 1.14m “Wait, didn't I just find this thing?” Star asked. “Why could I scan it again?” “Maybe it’s in a different stage of its life,” Eon said. “So, this thing loses its wings as it gets older?” “I dunno,” Eon said. “For all I know, it's another gender. I wouldn't know since a certain unicorn never bothers to check that after he scans an animal.” Star pulled out his multi-tool and reviewed the information. “It says 'Prime’,” he said. “I don't know what the hell that means and I don't really care.” Star walked pass the animal and searched the shelves. “Argoo,” the animal said. It nudged Star and looked up at him. “Hey, Star, the animal has something near it.” Star let out a heavy sigh. “What?” he asked with a hint of anger. The animal brought over a blueprint and dropped it near Star. Star picked it up. “Suspension Fluid,’ he said. “Wow, an animal actually did something useful for once,” he said with a chuckle. Star out the blueprint away walked out of the shack. The animal ran up to Star’s side and nudged Star. “What do you want?” Star asked, now agitated again. The animal pointed to its mouth. “You want food?” The animal nodded. Star took out a bit of iron and gave it to the creature. “There. Bon appetit.” The animal smiled and began to eat. With that, Star continued his walk back to his ship. “Wow. Star, I'm shocked you didn't throw the iron at the little fellow's head.” “Same.” “Well, now that you have the Suspension Fluid blueprint, what are you going to do?” “It's still bright out,” Star said. “I think I'll explore a bit before I grab the stuff I need to make a warp cell.” “Well, my sensors have detected another building close by.” Star rolled his eyes. “Yay, another building,” he said blandly. “Oh, show some enthusiasm you buzz kill.” “Fine.” Star cleared his throat. “Oh boy, another building! Isn't this is just the most super, spectacular, most exciting thing ever, Eon?!” he asked in a high pitched, overly excitable voice. “Please never do that again. Thank you,” Eon said. “Why not?” Star asked as he made his way towards the building. “You wanted me to show more enthusiasm!” “Yeah,” Eon said. “Genuine enthusiasm.” “Too bad,” Star said. “Take it or leave it.” “I'll pass on it.” “Goodie!” Star said as he approached the building—which looked like something out of a horror movie with broken windows and the door looked as though it wasn't even connected to anything. “If I walk in there, why do I feel like something's going to come out with me?” “You mean like a ghost?” “Yeah, like a ghost,” Star answered as he walked up to the building. He nudged the door open. Which made it fall down. “Well, glad to see whoever owned this place kept it in tip-top shape,” Star said as he entered the building. The inside was dark and frigid. The walls had scratch marks and on them, and a numerous half eaten animals lay around. “Oh, that's just… unpleasant,” Star said as he walked passed one of the animal corpses. “I think I'm going to need brain bleach when I leave here.” “What do you think lived here?” Eon asked. “Carl the Gek.” “I was expecting a serious answer,” Eon said. “Serves me right for expecting so much.” “What? I gave you a serious answer.” “I'm not going to argue,” Eon said. “Just keep looking.” Star rolled his eyes and entered a room with a destroyed terminal, shredded pieces of paper, and a single, crumpled up blueprint. “I guess they really hated doing their homework,” he said as he walked up to the blueprint. He picked it up and read it. “Toxic protection? Whoopty-doo.” “And the day you land on a planet where the very air is toxic, you'll be thankful for that.” “Yeah, I know,” Star said as he approached the terminal. “Geez, what happened-” Thud! Before Star could finish his sentence, something slammed down onto the floor down the hall. A loud growl could be heard, followed by several heavy stomps. Star's blood ran cold. “Is something there?” he asked as he shivered in fear. “Yeah, it's called an animal you numbskull,” Eon said. “It probably took up residence here when whoever lived here died.” “Uhhh… does that mean it's a meat eater?” Star asked. “Probably,” Eon answered. “It would explain the dead bodies.” “You seem really cool about this.” “Star, you seem to forget I'm an AI a lot,” Eon said. “By the way, I've detected movement right behind you. Say hi to Fluffy for me!” Star spun around. Standing in the doorway was a green skinned animal with gold stripes going around its body. Six feathers stood up on its back, and two horns arched back on its head. It also had a spike on its nose. And it looked at Star with one thought on its mind. I'm going to have a feast tonight! With that thought—and other thoughts about what spices to use—the creature lunged at Star with hunger-filled eyes. Star dove out of the way as the creature slammed into the damaged terminal. “Hah, sucker!” he said as he levitated his multi-tool to himself and slammed it against the animal's head repeatedly. After a few brutal strikes, he ran out of the room with speed rivaled only by a moped. The creature shook off the strikes as though they were simple pokes with sporks and spun around; a look of fury on its face. It ran out of the room and charged towards Star Star ran down the hallway when he felt something bite down on his left hind leg. “Son of a bitch!” he yelled as he fell down. He turned around to see the creature attempt to pierce his spacesuit. Star levitated his multi-tool out and slammed it against the animal's head. “Die you ugly piece of crap!” Star yelled as he slammed the multi-tool upside the animal's neck. SNAP! The creature fell forward dead. Star stood up and took a few deep breaths before he kicked it again. “Star, I'm pretty sure it's dead.” “Are you sure?” “It's neck now resembles a slinky.” “I'm still not convinced it's dead.” “It's head looks like it was hit with a meat tenderizer dozens of times.” “Okay, fair enough,” Star said as he walked towards the front door. “Though I'm just gonna say: I was never scared.” “Yeah, sure,” Eon said. “Let me file that under 'things that are total bullshit’.” “I wasn't!” Star said as he walked back to his ship. “Seriously, I wasn't!” “Sure you weren't,” Eon said. “And I'm really Princess Cadence.” Star rolled his eyes. He popped the hatch to his ship and hopped in. “I was only running because I didn't want to get eaten.” He turned his ship on and took off. “I'm just screwing with you, Star,” Eon said. “Take a joke for once.” “Fine, mom,” Star said as he flew towards the edge of a cliff that overlooked the sea. He landed and lay back in his seat. “Now, see you tomorrow.” “Going to sleep already?” “Dealing with animals takes a lot out of me,” Star said. “Besides, if we're lucky, the pirates will be gone tomorrow, and we can leave.” “If they aren't?” “Then we stay.” “Okay, boss-man.” Star chuckled at the name before he drifted off to sleep. Author's Note Sorry this took so long! I'd wanted to finish it days ago, but I had trouble with making the wildlife encounters fun. Lesson learned: keep those moments seldom. Lucky StarStar Chaser slept peacefully in his ship. Crash! That is, until a pirates ship crashed into the ground nearby. Boom! And exploded. “Sweet Celestia, what the fuck was that?!” Star asked as he bolted up and frantically looked around. “Is the sky falling?” “Close,” Eon said. “I’ve detected a bunch of ships fighting above. It's been a very harsh battle, and shows no signs of letting up!” Star looked at the nearby fiery wreckage and cringed. “Thanks, weatherman Eon,” Star said as he finally calmed down. “So, does this mean I can't leave?” “Well, you could try to,” Eon said, “but you never made any warp cells yesterday.” “Well, after I make one?” “There's an eighty-six percent chance that you'll be shot down and die a horrible, fiery death,” Eon said. “There's also a ten percent chance you'll die once you reach space, as there are also pirates there, but they're busy trying to board space freighters.” “So, I have a four percent chance of surviving?” “More like three percent. There's a one percent chance you'll die from an asteroid hitting you!” “So, from what I've gathered: the odds are in my favor?” “Definitely,” Eon said. “They're totally, one hundred percent in your favor.” Star popped his ship's hatch and hopped out. “Well, what am I waiting for? Time to get to work!” he said as he shut the hatch and made his way towards a meadow. “Star, are you feeling okay?” “Fuck no!” Star answered. “I'm terrified! I'm just masking it behind false happiness,” he said as he fired off his mining laser at a nearby plant. “That said, I feel great. I got a mostly peaceful sleep.” “Did you dream wonderful things?” “I dreamt of Princess Luna and King Sombra dancing to the Macarena.” “That's… interesting,” Eon said. “Any reason why?” “Nope.” “Are you sure?” “Nope,” Star answered as he finished mining another plant. “That's enough Carbon, right?” “You have enough to make five Suspension Fluids,” Eon said. “That said, yes. That's enough.” “Alrighty,” Star said as he began to make the item. Boom! Star let out a sigh. Up ahead, another ship came crashing down in a hunk of fiery, twisted metal. “Eon, please tell me this won't last all day.” “It's probably going to last all day.” Star bit his lower lip as he continued to make the fluid and, after the longest minute of crafting ever, he finished it. “Finally!” he said. “Now, to make the Electron Vapor!” Star looked through his inventory and frowned. “Eon, where did all of my plutonium go?” “You used it all.” “When?” “You use it when you're not paying attention,” Eon said. “Which is nearly all the damn time.” “Oh,” Star said. “Well, guess I better go find some plutonium.” “Uhhh… no kidding?” “Listen, talking like somepony is actually listening helps keep me calm,” Star said as he trotted over to a vein of plutonium. “It makes me feel like somepony actually gives a crap.” “Yeah, well, nopony does.” “I know,” Star said as he mined the plutonium. “Thanks for reminding me.” “Aww, there, there” Eon said. “Maybe there's an animal somewhere that thinks your rambling is worth something.” “Like a dog?” “Star, I feel like you'd be the only pony who could get a dog to not care about you.” “I disagree,” Star said as he finished mining the plutonium. “I grew up with dogs. They loved me!” “I feel like I should say you're full of crap,” Eon said, “but I can't help but find the thought of you as a foal playing with a dog oddly cute.” Star stopped in his tracks. “I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Okay?” “Good idea,” Eon replied. “How about we change the topic?” “Okay,” Star said. “Have i ever told you the time I got visited by the 'Ponies in Black'?” “That urban myth about Celestia having agents who intimidate pony's into saying they didn't see something they'd deem harmful to society?” Eon asked. “Oh, come on. You're kidding.” “I'm serious!” Star said as he mined another vein of plutonium. “They knocked on my door and asked to come inside. I was living on my own and was terrified. They wore all black and had these slick, black shades. They were both unicorns and never smiled.” “Y’know, I'll regret this,” Eon said, “but go on. I need to know how this ends.” “Well, I asked why they were here. One said they had an urgent matter to discuss with me,” Star said as he went to another vein. “Naturally, I asked what they wanted to discuss with me. One said that I hadn't seen something important, and that I had never seen it. “I asked what they were talking about, and the other unicorn told me to stop playing stupid. I—again—asked him what they were talking about, and insisted I had no idea who they were. That's when they told me they were from the IRS,” Star said. “They told me I was being audited.” “Did they tell you that you'd seen no UFOs before they left?” “Sort of,” Star said. “They said they were going to take away my model UFO, and that I'd probably never see it again.” “Well, the joke's on them,” Eon said. “You have your own spaceship now.” “And they took my stuff.” “I feel we should've said what the other said,” Eon remarked. “Too late now,” Star replied. “Also. Time to make the vapor!” Boom! Star let out a sigh of aggravation. “Come on,” he said under his breath. He began to make the vapor when another explosion came from not too far away. His right eye twitched as he saw pieces of fiery metal crash to the ground. “I enjoy watching dogfights, but I'm usually seeing them in a movie,” “What about when you're participating in them?” “I hate them,” Star said as he finished the vapor. “Well, now I've just got to make the antimatter.” He scanned the area and smiled. “Zinc and Heridium nearby? It must be my birthday!” “Does this mean I can give you a gift?” “Do I dare ask what you got me?” CRASH! A ship came crashing down in front of Star, crushing the flora in front of him, before exploding, which made the explorer duck out of the way. “A new ship,” Eon said. Star got back up and looked at the scorched flora. His right eye twitched as he grit his teeth. “Come on!” he yelled as he repeatedly stomped his hoof on the ground. “You realize there's probably a few flowers that weren't burnt, right?” Eon asked. Star sighed and scanned the area. Sure enough, a single flower remained. He ran over and picked it. “Haha! Now for the Heridium!” Star said as he made his way over the pillar of the mineral “This is the happiest I've ever seen you when it comes to mining,” Eon said. “Fake happiness or not.” “That scares me,” Star said as he approached the massive pillar. “This scares me even more.” “You know you don't have to mine the entire thing, right?” “Yeah, but that's still a big pillar.” “It's maybe four feet bigger than the last one you mined from.” “Eon, stop trying to calm me down. It won't work,” Star said as he mined from the pillar. “Fine,” Eon said. “Drama queen.” “My sister called me that all the time,” Star said. “You remind me of her. You just show five hundred percent less affection.” “Your sister sounds like she's a smart mare,” Eon said. “Can I meet her when we get back to Equus?” “Sure,” Star said. “You two can talk about how AI’s are evil!” “On second thought… I'll pass.” “Thought so,” Star said as he finished mining the Heridium. “Alright now to-” Boom! Star flinched. Just ignore the noise and make the damn thing. Kaboom! Just. Ignore. It. VWOOM! Star let out a high pitched shriek and jumped in fear. He looked around and saw another ship come crashing down and send up a tsunami of dirt—though significantly smaller than the one the space freighter caused. That's when a thought hit him. “Why am I still out here?” “Because you have the IQ of a Dung Beetle.” “I think you're insulting Dung Beetles,” Star said as he watched another ship come crashing down. A few shards of flaming metal narrowly missed the awestruck explorer, who finally ran away from the chaos. “I mean, they at least use the galaxy to navigate!” “I'm amazed you know this,” Eon said. “I would've expected you to say I had the IQ of a peanut.” “Okay, first of all, I was fascinated by insects as a foal,” Star said as he teleported ahead. Behind him, he could hear another ship explode. “Second of all, you have the IQ of a coconut. Don't insult peanuts.” “You're not my mother,” Eon said in as sarcastic of a voice as an AI could possibly make. “If I was your mother, I would've put you up for adoption,” Star said as he neared his ship. “Oh, that stung,” Eon said. “Either that or I'm going to short out soon.” Star teleported to his ship's side and popped the hatch. “Save it for later,” he said as he hopped in. He shut the hatch and started his ship up. “For now, let's get out of here.” “And the antimatter? Or the warp cell?” Star flew up and began to break through the planet's atmosphere. “I'll do that now!” he said. “Uhhh… Star?” “Lemme guess,” Star said. “Pirates”? “No,” Eon said. “You're about to fly into an asteroid.” Star's eyes shot open. In front of him was a several hundred foot wide asteroid. “Oh… balls,” he said. He aimed his photon cannon at the massive space rock and fired at it, which made a large enough hole in it for the explorer to fly through. Behind him, the massive rock got pulled into the planet's gravitational pull. Star let out a heavy sigh and went back to making the antimatter. “This goes there and… tada!” “Now, make that warp cell before the pirates detect you.” Star immediately got to work on the warp cell… When he realized something. “I need more thamium 9…” “Good going.” Star sighed as he flew towards a few meteors. He fired his photon cannons at them and mined a bit of the mineral. “Okay, finally!” he said as he rested his head on the steering wheel. “Star, I've detected a hostile scan.” “Shut up, Eon.” “Star, I'm serious.” “Please, shoot me.” “I've detected another scan.” Star grabbed the antimatter and hastily put together a warp cell. “There!” “Star, that looks like you use a glue stick, tape, and a can of spray paint.” “It'll work!” Star snapped back. He out the warp core in and smiled as he activated his galactic map. “Okay, now to our next destination!” As the duo warped to the new star system, a few pirates appeared and crashed into a space freighter. A Wolf in Star's ClothingAuthor's Note While I said that I wanted every chapter to be a planet that I've explored, this isn't one... though, there have been planets like it. Regardless, tell me what you thought! If you'd all like, I'll do more similar to it every now and then! Also, once more, I'm extremely sorry this story hasn't had as fast of an output as it did. A Wolf in Star's Clothing “Hey, Eon,” Star Chaser said as he lay back in his seat. “Do you think that, somewhere in this galaxy, there are giant worms made of candy?” “What makes you ask that?” Eon asked. “I’m just really bored and wanted to ask something fun,” Star said. “Warping to new star systems isn't as fun as daydreaming.” “So, you're terrified of animals, but daydream about them,” Eon said. “Makes sense.” “Hey, they can't hurt me in a daydream,” Star said as he arrived in the new star system. “True,” Eon said. “Though something tells me you'd still scream like a baby if you a saw a worm made of candy.” “Sadly, you're most likely right ,” Star said as he sat up and grabbed the steering wheel. “Anyway- Oh, sweet Celestia!” “What's wrong, Star?” “That… star is ridiculously bright,” Star said as he attempted to shield his eyes. “Is it about to supernova?” Not too far away was a star that had “Well, it's in the final stage of its life,” Eon said. “It's known as a Wolf-Rayet Star. It's completely lost its outer hydrogen, and is now fusing other elements in its core. Didn't you learn about this in the academy?” “You expected me to pay attention when discussing giant balls of plasma?” “Well, just know that this thing is tearing itself apart and could explode at any second,” Eon said. “So I would advise getting out of here as soon as possible. Especially since there's no way of knowing how close to it is to death.” “Why didn't my galactic map alert me that I was about to warp to a ticking time bomb!?” Star shrieked. “Because you were in a rush to get away from a bunch of space pirates,” Eon said. “Now, rather than waste time dilly dallying, how about to get yourself a warp cell and get out of here before you're turned into ashes.” “Ah, how lovely,” Star asked as he made his way towards a nearby planet as the Wolf-Rayet star's stellar winds blew viciously nearby. “So, is there any way you could predict when this thing will explode?” “Not really,” Eon said. “It could explode in five minutes or five hundred years.” “Crap,” Star muttered. “The idea of being so close to a supernova is something I really don't want on my mind.” “Yeah, well, that's too bad,” Eon said. “You warped here and now you're stuck here until you can warp out of here.” Star let out a sigh. “Okay, well, can you at least tell me where I am?” he asked as he flew towards a large planet. “Uhh… well, now that you mention it, I can't find anything on this star system,” Eon said. “So, I guess that makes you the discoverer of this little system.” “Oh, how wonderful,” Star said sarcastically as he begins his descent through the planet's atmosphere, which brought into view a dry, lifeless surface with brick-colored dirt and dried trees. “How about you name it 'Turn Back or You'll Die’!” “Will do,” Eon said. “Want to upload it to the Atlas?” “I wasn't serious!” Star said. “But, since it's too late, sure.” “Think before you speak.” “Yes, I know,” Star said as he landed his ship on the parched land. “Geez, this place is depressing to look at,” he said as he popped his ship's hatch and hopped out. “What's the temperature here?” he asked as he shut the hatch. “Ninety seven degree fahrenheit,” Eon said. “I'm unsure as to why it looks like the love child of Venus and Mars though.” Star looked up at the sky, which was clear, and a sickly yellow. The nearby star shined blindingly bright. “Is there any radiation here?” he asked as he walked towards a dried tree. “Negative,” Eon said. “Aside from the fact the entire planet appears to be devoid of flora and fauna, there's nothing abnormal about its atmosphere.” Star aimed his multi-tool at the dead tree and fired the mining laser at it. “So, you're telling me that that star is probably the cause of the planet's gloomy appearance?” he asked. “Or is it another planet with dust storms from Tartarus?” “I don't think so,” Eon said. “I think it's got to do with the fact that the home star had an incredibly high surface temperature. There are also numerous other possibilities, such as a gamma ray burst or an asteroid impact.” “Or an alien invasion,” Star said as he approached another nearby tree. “Or perhaps I got piss drink and invaded myself.” “Star, there are three issues with that last theory of yours,” Eon said. ‘One, you don't drink. Two, if you ever invaded a planet, I'd cut your oxygen supply off—even if it meant I'd be stuck looking at dirt for the rest of my nonexistent life. Third, you're too incompetent to plan out a full-scale invasion of a refrigerator, let alone a planet.” “Hey, I was just trying to be funny,” Star said as he moved onto a pillar of Heridium. “But, since you want to be a buzz kill, how about we discuss something else?” “Okay,” Eon said. “How about we discuss the fact that you gave enough carbon to last several star systems, and that you have no zinc?” Star's right eye twitched. “Son of a bitch,” he grumbled. “Fine, I'll mine it the old way!” Star quickly made a suspension fluid and placed it in his inventory. “Alright, where would one find zinc underground?” “Uhhh… underground?” “Yeah, but where specifically?” “Star,” Eon said calmly. “Just use that grenade launcher on your damn tool and find some zinc.” “I meant how far down!” Star said as he launched an explosive at the ground next to him. “You don't have to be such a dick about it.” “Star, you kept asking 'where’,” Eon said as Star fired off several more explosives. “Not 'how far down’.” “Well, excuse me!” Star leaped down the hole he'd made and landed at the bottom. “I'm under a lot of pressure, what with the possibility of being made into a nice, crispy unicorn treat from a nearby time bomb a million of times bigger than my home planet!” “And whose fault is it for not-” “Eon, the damn thing didn't tell me that the star here was a Wolf-Rayet star!” Star snapped. “Now, let me find some zinc in peace!” “Well, looks like I touched a nerve,” Eon said. “I’m sorry.” Star approached a deposit of zinc and began to mine it. “You can't always expect me to not make mistakes,” he said. “I'm not perfect.” “Yes, Star, I understand that,” Eon said. “However, you're so reckless with your actions that it genuinely amazes me you haven't died yet from pissing off the wrong animal or alien!” “Truthfully, it amazes me too,” Star said. “However, allow me to ask: how am I supposed to know what a Gek is saying to me if I don't understand them? Sure, there are those knowledge stones, but prior to that?” “You can always try to read their movements.” “I didn't take anything on psychology in school,” Star said. “As far as I'm concerned: the only reason I'd read someone's body language is if I were curious if they were into me.” “The amazing Star Chaser!” Eon exclaimed. “He won't pay attention if someone's ready to punch his lights out!” “Pretty much,” Star said as he mined some more zinc. He fired off a few explosives and walked towards the newly formed pathway. “I will, however, pay attention if someone's offering me enough units to buy several electronics!” “Star, if your priorities were any less in order, I'm pretty sure that I'd self destruct.” “Then I'll never tell you my priorities for tax day!” Star exclaimed as he stopped mining. He opened his inventory and looked through the various minerals. “Okay, I believe that's everything I need.” “My sensors indicate that that is correct,” Eon said. “Would you like a gold star?” “Not necessary, Eon!” I'm already platinum,” Star said as he made an electron vapor. “If space pirates don't kill you, maybe your ego will,” Eon said. “I swear, it might have its own gravitational pull.” “My ex marefriend used to tell me that,” Star said as he made some antimatter. “Though, she swore a lot when she did so. Like, she'd swear so much that if you took a shot each time she did, you'd have alcohol poisoning within the first ten seconds.” “I would too if I was her,” Eon said. “For starters: I’d curse at myself for having decided to be relationship with you!” “Aren't you kind of in one with me already?” Star asked as he made a warp cell. “You are my AI after all.” “Yeah, but I didn't pick you,” Eon said. “I was assigned to you by some schmuck back on Equus.” “Well, it was the best thing that ever happened to us,” Star said as he made his way to where he'd entered from, and ascended up to the surface. “Wouldn't you agree?” “No.” “Buzz kill,” Star said as he walked back to his ship. “We totally make the greatest team ever.” “I think your definition of 'greatest’ is backwards,” Eon said. “Unless by greatest, you mean we make the most inefficient team since a corpse and a cockroach.” “Can I be the roach?” Star asked as he popped open his ship's hatch and hopped in. “No.” “Man, why can't I ever be the living thing?” “Because you'd give roaches a really bad name.” Star sighed and turned his ship on. “Fine, allow me to change the topic,” he said as he took off. “How far’s the Andromeda from here?” “Really far.” “How far is 'really far'?” “Well over a million light years.” “Can we go there?” “No.” “Lame!” Star said. “I wanted to go somewhere famous.” “What's the famous about the Andromeda?” Eon asked. “The fact that nopony has been there.” “It has a cool name,” Star replied as he broke through the planet's atmosphere. “I'm beginning to think that, if you find some cool, you automatically like it.” “You'd be right!” Star said as he maneuvered past a few a meteors and opened up his galactic map. “I pick this one!” “You sure it isn't another 'soon to go kablooey’ star?” “Nope!” Star said as he set it as his destination. “We’ll find out soon enough, though!” he said as he slammed a hoof on his warp drive. “Now, tell me when we arrive there. Until then, I'm gonna rest my eyes.” “You realize we'll be there in a few moments, right?” “Eon?” “Yes, Star?" “Shut the fuck up.” Close Encounters of the Wild KindStar Chaser levitated a bolt into the hyperdrive. “Okay, I've just gotta put this here and…” The hyperdrive hummed to life and turned on. “Hey, you did it!” Eon said. “I'm shocked. You only screwed up twice.” “No thanks to you,” Star said. “Hey, I offered to help,” Eon said. “And you ignored me.” “Would you really have helped?” “Yes,” Eon said. “Because I'm hopeful to see you encounter more animals and cry when they try to eat you.” Star ignored the AI and grabbed the warp core. “Okay, now I just need to put this in,” he said. “Where does it go again?” “The hyperdrive.” “Yeah, but where in it?” “There's a frigging hole where you put it, Star,” Eon said. “I swear, your eyesight is on par with that of a bat.” Star rolled his eyes and looked for the hole. “Oh, it has a cap over it,” he said as he unsealed it. He skipped the warp core in and resealed it. “Okay, done!” “You realise you're going to need dozens upon dozens more of those, right?” “Unfortunately.” “You know how to make them, right?” “No,” Star said. “Every time I had to use these, I got them from a space station,” he said. “I’m going to guess it isn't easy?” “To be honest, no,” Eon said. “Considering your disdain for going out and getting resources, it'll be the most excruciating thing in the entire universe.” “I'm going to guess you'll enjoy every second of it?” “Why of course!” Star rolled his eyes once more and pulled up his galactic map. “Okay, let's see,” he said as he looked for a solar system he could jump to. “This one seems close enough.” He hit his hyperdrive function and sat back as he flew towards the system. “So, exactly why are we going to the center?” Eon asked. “Why not go back the way we came?” “Where is that?” Star asked. “We've gone from solar system to solar system with a complete disregard for direction.” “Well, I doubt Equus is at the center of it all.” “Look, I recall coming from the 'center of it all’.” “I don't think we did,” Eon said. “I think we came from the outer edge.” Star’s right eye twitched. He slammed his hooves onto his ship's steering wheel and yelled, “Damn it, Eon! I don't care what you think!” I will get home, even if it's the last thing I ever do!” “Um… okay,” Eon replied. “Didn't think you'd react so harshly.” Star closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Sorry,” he said after a few deep breaths. “Eh, I'm used to you throwing temper tantrums,” Eon said. “Just don't break your steering wheel. I don't think they sell those around here.” Star let out a sigh as the ship arrived at its destination. “So, where are we?” “Rodevuiutsi-Anu IX.” “Do any of these systems have normal names?” “Maybe one of them does,” Eon said. “But I don't think you have a say in what's normal since you're basically talking to air.” “Fair point,” Star said as he scanned the star system. A marker appeared on the ship's map that read, “abandon building.” Star turned the ship in that direction and activated the ship's pulse drive as he flew towards the planet. “You're oddly quiet, Star,” Eon said. “You aren't whining about the things I've said, and that's confusing me immensely.” “I'm just thinking about home,” Star said. “It's helped me ignore you.” “Right,” Eon said. “Is that why you ignored me completely while you replaced the hyperdrive?” “Yes,” Star said as the ship entered the planet's atmosphere. “There are other things, but they aren't important.” “You're behavior is concerning” Eon said. “Seriously, what's wrong?” “Nothing is wrong, Eon!” Star snapped. “Stop asking me that! Please!” “You can't do a damn thing about it!” Eon taunted. “I'm a part of your suit! So…hah!” Star let out a groan. He looked at the ship's map and sighed. “I have to fly another minute to get to the building.” “It’s only a minute,” Eon said. “Quit being a baby.” “But… I want to explore the planet! Wah!” “You're trying to hard to be annoying.” “If I keep it up, will you get annoyed?” “Don't you fucking dare.” Star snickered to himself. “Oh, you have me an idea.” “Ah, crap.” Star landed his ship near the building. He opened the hatch and hopped out of the ship. The entire planet appeared to be dusty, as though it hadn't rained in awhile. Several rock formations and dead trees were scattered about, and the sky had a brown/yellow color to it. “So what's this planet called?” He asked. “My sensors indicate it's called Nunelsestada,” Eon said. “It appears that there is fauna here! I can't wait for you to get attacked again.” “Oh, joy,” Star said as he approached the building. “Just what I needed. Animals.” He entered the building and looked around. A bizarre fungus covered a terminal, along with several parts of the wall, and numerous wires were exposed. A strange plant hung from the ceiling, and a red emergency light flashed. “O-kay, what in Celestia's name happened here?” Star asked. “It looks like something out of a horror movie.” “Maybe someone used too much plant food.” “For once, your theory isn't that bad,” Star said as he approached the terminal. To his surprise, it was still functional. “Think something in here will be of use?” “Are you sure you want to touch that?” Eon asked. “Despite everything I've said, I don't want to end up stuck in a planet for who knows how long. Or worse, with a fungal parasite possessed pony.” Star grimaced at the thought. “Ummm… ah-hah!” He turned around and took out his multi-tool. He aimed it At the plant and fired the mining laser at it. The beam sliced through the plant. “Score!” He exclaimed as he levitated the plant over to himself. He activated the terminal with the severed plant and tossed it aside. “Star, that was perhaps the one intelligent thing you've done around me,” Eon said. Star rolled his eyes as the terminal turned on. He approached it and glanced at the entry. “Is there anything on the weird plant thing?” Eon asked. “Because it's starting to creep me out.” “Nope,” Star said. “But there is a blueprint for a boltcaster!” “Great, a firearm for someone like you,“ Eon said. “Be quiet,” Star said. “Just remember: if I die, you're stuck staring at the dirt.” Star exited the building when he came face to leg with one of his greatest fears. Wildlife. Star looked up. In front of him was a creature that resembled a Velociraptor, but with yellow feathers along it's arms and the top portion of its back. Its skin was beige, and it had brown spots all across its body. Its feet resembled a bird's, and it fingers were long, and resembled the talons of a small birds. The animal stared at Star, who took out his multi-tool and scanned the animal. Ockoideni Fileiur Temperament: Unpredictable Diet: Insect-eater Weight: 142.19 kg Height: 2.40m “Insect-eater?” Star asked. “Oh, that's not so-” Before he could finish his sentence, the creature charged at Star, and swiped at him “Yee-ow! Star yelled as stumbled back into the building. “Warning: Shields at seventy five percent,” Eon said. “Also, that thing is four feet taller than you. I think it might mistake you for an insect.” “Yeah, well, I'm going to show it-” The creature charged through the door, which sent rubble flying in all directions, and let out a ferocious roar. “Whotheapexpredatoris.” Star felt the roar shake him to his core. The creature set its sights on Star and growled. “Oh, fuck me,” he whimpered as he took out his multi-tool. “Die! Die!” He yelled as he fired the tools mining laser at its head. The creature swiped once more st Star, who was flung against the wall. “Oh, sweet Celestia, that hurt.” “Warning: shields at fifty percent,” Eon said. “Star, that thing might be too for you to handle,” he said. “Maybe you should just run.” Star ignored the AI and levitated the multi-tool back over to him. Only to get thrown against the wall again. “Warning: shields at twenty five percent.” “Maybe you're right,” Star said as he slowly stood back up. Star levitated the multi-tool over to himself and teleported to the hole that was once the entrance. The creature let out a ground shaking roar and ran after the unicorn. Star leaped up and, using his jetpack, reached higher ground. “Crap, where did I land?” “Several yards west “ Eon said. “By the way, you may want to run.” “Why?” “Because my sensors indicate that there is a path up here, and I believe that creature is going to arrive-” A familiar roar filled the air. “-very shortly.” “Oh, balls.” Star turned around and took several steps back. He took his multi-tool out and fired the mining laser off at the creature. The creature charged at Star, ignoring the laser as if it was nothing but a light slap. It slammed into the small unicorn and sent him flying back several feet. “Warning: shields down!” Star landed in the ground and looked up. His vision blurred as the creature stomped closer and closer. “Star, just get the hell out of here before you become dinner,” Eon said. Star stood up and levitated his multi-tool back over to him. He turned around and ran towards the building. He leaped across the opening and floated safely onto the roof. “Please tell me you aren't going to try and kill it,” Eon said. “Hell no!” Star replied. “I'm going to get to as high of ground as possible and run far, far away!” he said as he used his jetpack to get to the top of a cliff. Behind him, he could hear a loud crash, followed by an ear-piercing roar. Star turned around and looked down at the creature, which was wildly flailing through the rubble of the building. “Star, stop gawking at the creature and get out of here before its family shows up!” Star shook his head. “Sorry!” He said as he ran west. Across from the cliff, he could see his ship. Below, the creature—now with wounded from the rubble and wires inside the building—limped out of the building and let out another roar. It glanced up at Star and charged up the path. Star looked down. “Eon, I'm going to do something so royally stupid that I might die.” “You're going to try and reach your ship?” “Damn straight!” “You. Are. A. Fucking. Dumbass.” Star leaped off the cliff and floated towards his ship. “It's a lot less badass when you're safely floating towards it.” “You're still a dumbass.” “Yeah, I'll keep that in mind for the future.” “No you won't.” Star landed on the other side and glanced at the creature, which sported a look of pain on its face. Star frowned and ran towards his ship. He opened the hatch, hopped in, and started the ship up. “Star, I know it's not like me to ask, but are you okay?” “Yes, I am,” Star replied as he took off. “I appreciate your concern,” he said as he used his ships scanner. On his map, a waypoint for a manufacturing plant appeared. “Are you really going to head there after the beating you took?” Eon asked. “Your shields managed to save you from serious injury, let alone certain death, but I'm still detecting Some pretty nasty bruising.” “Thanks, Doctor Eon,” Star said with a small smile. “No, I'm going to land and sleep for the night, he continued as touched down next to a rock formation. “Star, while I may act like a royal dick to you, you should've just escaped rather than trying to play badass and killing that thing.” Star hopped the hatch to his ship and got out of it. “I know, Eon,” he said. “I fucked up, don't remind me.” Star staggered over next to a rock formation and looked up at the sky. The sun cast a bright, orange glow over the sky as it set. Star sighed and sat down near the rock. “You're like my parents rolled into one.” “You've never mentioned your father once to me,” Eon said. “How am I like him?” “So disapproving of my actions,” Star replied. “He would criticize everything I did. Be it the way I cooked or…” Star slumped down let out a sad sigh. “Okay, I'm not going to take 'no’ for an answer anymore,” Eon said. “Tell me what's wrong now.” “I told you earlier that everything is fine!” Star snapped. “Then tell me what else you did that father criticised.” Star tilted his head down and remained silent. “Come on, Star. Spit it out.” Star let out a heavy sigh. He swallowed a lump in his throat and wiped away tears that had formed in his eyes. “Fine, I'll tell you what's wrong,” he said. “The longer I'm out here,” he said as tears welled up in his eyes, “the more homesick I get.” “You said that your ex-marefriend hates you, as does your mom,” Eon said. “Exactly why are you homesick? Do you have a family member you do genuinely love and miss?” “Well, I have a sister and brother who I both hold dearly,” Star said. “I was never exactly close to them, but they were my closest friends growing up.” “What about your father?” Eon asked. “You said he criticized you. Do you maybe miss him for some arbitrary reason?” “He loathed the idea of me joining the space federation,” Star said. “He said I'd end up dying in space, and that the family would never be able to hold a proper funeral because my body would either burn up re-entering the atmosphere, or would be nonexistent because a ship I was piloting—or on—would crash and I'd be nothing but ash.” “Well, that's morbid,” Eon said. “Was he always like that?” “No, I actually hung out with him more than my mother,” Star said. “But he'd always try to sway me away from going into space,” he said. “He'd point out every single accident and say that that could be me when I enter. A body amongst a bunch of burnt, twisted metal.” “Did he have any specific reason for hating the federation?” “I think he just hated the idea of going into space, and exploring new words. I don't know for sure though,” Star said. “For all I know, a friend of his or close family member died when they were in it. I never bothered to ask because I was afraid he'd get angry at me for asking.” “What'd they say when you finally entered?” “My mom didn't care, my dad was livid and broke a table in anger, my brother was neutral about it, and my sister was quiet. She never said a word to me,” Star said. “I just took their criticism and stuck to my guns. I wanted to fulfill my dream.” “You seem to have handled this really well,” Eon said. “I'm genuinely shocked considering how reckless you were with the Gek.” “I've often wondered if I just act that way as a means of hiding my sadness,” Star said. “You're the only thing that I can talk to since you were made to understand Equestrian. And considering how you've acted towards me…” “Star, I told you that I was programmed to act that way around ponies who act like raging jackasses,” Eon said. “Of course, you could've always acted like this and maybe I never would've been so cruel to you.” “Honestly, it was kind of nice. It felt like a way to blow off some steam.” “Because the countless animals you killed wasn't?” “There's a difference between defending myself from an animal with teeth big enough to go through my entire body vertically and yelling at someone who i can actually understand.” “Fair point.” Star smiled. He looked back up at the how star-filled sky as a gentle breeze brushed against him and blew up a bit of dust. “The planet is peaceful, even if it’s… barren,” he said. “It kind of reminds me of home in a way. We had this nice, cozy home near a river. It was so quiet and tranquil. It was like something out if a fairy tale. Well, with the exception of my mother, but she finally found help for her anger issues after several years.” “Do you think your family believes you're dead?” “That's a thought I'd rather not have cross my mind,” Star said. “I've honestly forgotten how long I've been out here. These planets don't have the same orbit time—or day to night cycle—as Equus. That honestly makes me wonder if it's maybe been years back there.” “You know you don't age differently when on different planets, right?” “I know that,” Star said. “But still. The idea of having lost so many potential memories with them… it makes me sad.” “You wanted to explore new worlds,” Eon said. “You shouldn't be saddened that missed out on memories with your family. You brought it upon yourself since you pursued your dream.” Star looked at the ground and shed a tear. “I know,” he said softly. “And I regret it.” “Geez Star, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually hate seeing you like this more than when I see you as you normally are,” Eon said. “This is just depressing.” Star lifted his head up and looked up at the sky. Hundreds of stars now filled it and shined brightly. “I'm sorry,” he said. “I'll try my best to not let my emotions get the best of me.” “Honestly, Star, I… kind of respect you a little more,” Eon said. “It's nice knowing there's a side to you that isn't the obnoxious and arrogant dick that I've been stuck with this entire time.” “Thanks, Eon,” Star replied. “That actually means a lot to me.” Star let out a sigh and walked to his ship. “You're welcome.” Star opened the hatch to his ship. “Hey Eon?” He asked as he looked back up at the sky one last time. “Yes, Star?” “Do you think we’ll ever get back home?” Eon remained silent for a several seconds before finally saying, “I don't know.” Star hopped back into his ship. A large frown formed on his face and his eyes welled up with tears. He rested his forelegs on the ship's steering wheel and buried his face into them. “Are you okay, Star?” Eon asked. “I just want to go home!” Star replied as tears rolled down his face. “I miss them all so much!” Author's Note I decided to try to add some emotion to this chapter. Tell me what you thought!
Humble BeginningsStar Chaser was a unicorn stallion. His coat was a dull grey, and his cutie mark was that of a galaxy. He had also just crashed onto an uncharted world. “That's the last time I’ll try to take a shortcut during a meteor shower,” he said as he sat upright in his seat. Outside, Star could see a canyon. The sky was yellow, and the systems sun was rather dim. Not helped were the thick clouds that covered the sky. “Where are we?” “My sensors indicate we are on a planet known as Wifeldamimala,” a robotic voice from within Star's suit said. “In the Ginsarskyvi-Mido II system.” “And how far are we from Equus?” Star asked. “I lost track of our distance from home months ago.” “I'm unsure. Possibly hundreds of thousands of light years.” Star slammed his forehooves onto his control panel. “Why not tell me my family's dead while you're at it!” “Your family's also dead.” “I wasn't being serious,” he grumbled as he stepped out of his starship. The sounds of the exotic wildlife filled the otherwise cold air. “Oh well, I don't think I lost anything important.” “Warning: Hyperdrive no longer functioning,” the robotic voice said. “Well, no big deal, I'll just get another. Local dealers have some fancy stuff, right?” “Warning: launch thrusters are out of fuel.” Star’s right eye twitched. “Okay, I'll go mine some Plutonium,” he said in an angered voice. “Warning: pulse jumpers damaged.” “I. Hate. This. Ship.” Star grabbed his multi-tool and jetpack. “Would you like to break any other bad news to me? Are pirates going to take me away? Is Celestia going to have me imprisoned? Is the star over there going to turn into a giant Pony eating lizard?” “Warning: life support low.” “When I get back home, i'm replacing you with a Penguin.” Star put his jetpack on and levitated his multi-tool in front of himself. “Well, let's not waste any time,” he said, a look of frustration in his eye. “Not like anything worse could happen, right?” “My sensors indicate a storm will occur very soon,” the robotic voice said. “You might want to hurry. Your suits protection levels are going down.” “Yeah, yeah,” Star said with a huff. He made his way towards a large plant and stared at it. He levitated his tool up and, using his magic, pulled the trigger. A green energy beam shot out, and mined a bunch of Carbon from the plant. “Okay, we done?” “No.” “Nuts.” “Your ship isn't missing any-” “I didn't mean the engineering piece, you stupid robot.” “I'm an artificial intelligence.” “Shut up!” “Storm incoming in two minutes.” “You make me want to do very bad things.” Star made his way over to a rock and fired off the beam. “Like, you make me want to fly into a space station and throw everyone into the vacuum.” “Doing so will result in-” “Shut up and let me mine you stupid thing!” After a minute of nonstop mining—and bitching—Star Chaser opened his bag and shifted through it. “Okay, let's see, I can use this to-” “Warning-” “Yeah, I can feel the rain hitting my suit, now let me think!” “Storm in effect.” “I'm going to take your processor and use it as a means of starting a fire you stupid AI!” Star went back to fidgeting with some of the iron he'd mined to craft four metal plates. “Okay, now all I have to do is attach this to this and…” “Scanner made.” “Why were you given to me?” Star asked. “When I was told I was getting a new suit, I expected some fancy and flashy gadgets and gizmos. Not something with an AI that could be renamed ‘Captain Obvious‘!” “I am equipped to every suit of this kind.” “Can I get a new suit?” “New suits are sold in Canterlot.” “I hate my life.” Star stood up and attached the scanner to his multi-tool. “Hey, where's my analysis visor?” “You never attached a new one when you traded in your old multi-tool,” the robotic voice said. “You can make a new one by using iron.” “Oh, just iron?” Star asked sardonically. “You sure I don't need dark matter and the essence of a black hole? Should I also go get Celestia's heart and sacrifice it to Tirek so it can view into the depth of Tartarus?” “To upgrade it, you'll need a blueprint, which you've yet to obtain.” “I… I wasn't…” Star fell onto his stomach and sighed. “Just let me be.” Awooo. Star picked his head up. Atop a small hill was a reddish-brown creature that resembled an armadillo in build, but lacked the thick hide that one usually had. On its bad was something that resembled a saddle, but with three small stalks that came out of it bear its neck. Atop its head was a thicker, dark green stalk. Star stood up and dusted himself off. “The hell is that?” He asked. “How about you make your analysis visor before asking stupid questions,” the AI said. Star cursed under his breath and walked over to a moss covered rock. He held up the multi-tool and fired off the beam, and obtained some iron. “Stupid Gek,” he grumbled as he assembled the visor. “Not having visors on their multi-tools.” “You call them stupid, yet you're the genius who decided to fly through a meteor shower.” “Hey, do you know who I am?!” Star snapped as he finished putting the visor in the multi-tool. “You’re Lieutenant Star Chaser of the Equestrian Space Federation. You graduated bottom of your class, barely passing any of your classes.” “You are the worst AI anyone could ever ask for,” Star said as he walked back towards where the creature was seen. “Bar none.” “Most users of this AI have rated me four stars out of five.” “Those users are imbeciles!” Star yelled. The creature turned its head towards Star before it ran off. “You were saying?” The AI asked mockingly. “I stand by what I said,” Star said. “I'll just go get fuel for the launch thrusters.” “You can get that from-” “I've been doing this for fifteen years!” Star snapped. “I know: Plutonium. You don't need to remind me!” “Plutonium.” “There's no way to disable you, is there?” “Nope.” “What I remove the suit?” “That will result in instant death.” Star let out a sigh. “If I don't make it off this rock, it's your fault.” With that, he made his way towards a ravine and looked down. He hit his scanner, which sent out a wave of light and marked several deposits of Plutonium. “Jackpot!” He leaped off the side. “Wee!” He said with child like glee as his jetpack slowed his descent. “That never gets old.” “Warning: storm reapproaching.” “You could ruin a wet dream.” “And you could ruin friendships.” Star let out a chuckle. “I won't deny that,” he said as he approached a Plutonium deposit. “Of course, I'd like to think I do more good than bad.” “My records show the only reason you're out here is because your superior officers view you as, and I quote, 'the dumbest and most reckless pony we've ever seen.’ To which they then said, ‘Please, Celestia, send him somewhere where he is no longer our problem’.” Star fired his multi-tool at the Plutonium. “Yeah, well, the jokes on them. Life out here is wonderful!” “Because your bitching earlier definitely indicates you enjoy life out here,” the AI said. “As did your question about how far we are from home.” “Okay, so maybe I'm a little homesick.” Star walked over to another deposit of Plutonium and fired off the tools beam at it. “That doesn't mean I don't think it's great not having to answer to higher ups who only wish to make me stand around, guarding the princess from those dumb bug things.” “You mean Changelings?” “I thought they were called ‘Switcheroos’,” Star said with a slight chuckle. “You aren't funny.” Star rolled his eyes and made his way towards the end of the ravine. “You're an AI. Your opinion doesn't count,” he said as he activated his jetpack and ascended up back top. As he landed, Star came face to face with another reddish-brown creature. It's body was bulky, and there was a webbed fin along its back, the fin itself being yellow. It had a rat like tail, and its legs were peculiar. Its hind legs were thin and frail, while its forelegs were thick and muscular. Atop the creature's head was a small, reddish-brown fungal-like object, similar to a hat. Star activated his analysis visor and aimed it at the creature “Just what are you?” He asked himself. The creature let out a low wail before it darted off towards a cavern, a look of absolute terror on its face. “Hey! Get back here!” Star cried as he ran towards the creature. “I will discover what you are, you abomination!” “I don't think it understands your language, Star,” the AI said. “Not that it matters, as your diplomatic skills primarily consist of, 'give me your stuff and we can be the best of friends’.” Star leaped over a rock and aimed the visor at the creature again. “Stay still, and I promise you won't become dinner for the other wildlife,” he said. “Star, have you ever considered becoming a negotiator for the Equestrian Embassy?” The AI asked sarcastically “That was my career goal when I was a foal.” “How'd it go?” “Uh… well, you see, I thought that Changelings were common house flies that got mutated.” “And?” “Let's just say the things I said got me fired,” Star said as the data from the analysis visor popped up. “Ah-hah! Now to see what you- ow!” Before Star could finish his sentence, the creature head-butted him and ran out of the cavern. “Stupid animal,” he grumbled. “This is why I hate nature.” “Because animals get scared at the sight of your monumental arrogance?” “That and because animals never seem to like me,” Star said. “Maybe I'm too good looking.” “You’re a three foot tall unicorn in a space suit. You have what looks like a fish bowl over your head, and your horn is wrapped around your element protection unit. You look like a science experiment if anything.” “Bite me!” “I'll one up you,” the AI said. “Warning: storm in effect.” “You can't be serious,” Star said as he watched the rain pour down. “What did I do to deserve this?!” “If your service record is anything to go by,” the AI said, “a lot.” “Hey, I was taught to let bygones be bygones as a foal,” Star said. “That, uh, that applies to falling asleep on guard duty… right?” “Depends on who you ask,” the AI said “Most who have used my AI would say 'no’.” Star sat up next to the wall of the cavern. “How would you know?” “I checked the user database and, through various things such as personal accounts on various technological devices, surveys, and work records, I came to that conclusion.” Star tapped his chin. “So, you can check into personal records?” “If you're going to ask if I can hack into a Gek account to get you a bunch of units to buy a new ship, no. I was made for Equus, not alien races.” “Son of a bitch,” Star mumbled. “Well, I'll wait to the storm out.” “Why not check the information on that animal?” Star pulled out his analysis visor and looked at it. Vurusdatudu Quusfil Gender: Exotic Temperament: Fearful Diet: Oxide Elements “Yeah, truly fascinating stuff,” Star said. “Hey, what's this? 'Upload’?” “You ponies aren't familiar with the Atlas, are you?” “Well, we have analyzers, but… they don't let us upload stuff.” “Well, with this analyzer, you can upload things to something called the Atlas, which will reward you with units. You can also name what you discover.” “Wait, I can name that thing?” “Yes.” Star chuckled to himself and typed in a name. “Name declined. Foul language detected.” “Oh, come on! It won't accept Shit For Brains,” Star whined. “How about being mature for a second, and not trying to-” “Name accepted,” a voice from the multi-tool said. “Haha! It is now known as 'Fin-For-Brains’!” “If I had a physical form, I'd be crying.” “Yeah, well, you don't,” Star said. “Now, I'm going to sleep through this storm.” With that, Star rested his back up against the wall and drifted off to sleep. Thirty minutes later Star was still asleep peacefully when the storm finally subsided. “Wake up, he who scares wildlife,” the AI said. “Before it rains again.” Star stretched out and yawned. “What time is it?” “This planet's day-night cycle isn't like Equus’,” the AI said. “It's average day is forty hours, and from the looks of it, day lasts nineteen hours.” “Yeah, fascinating stuff,” Star said. “Now, answer my question.” “It's a little later than yesterday.” “I'm going to guess you don't know.” “It's 0900 hours; evening.” Star smiled. “Thank you,” he said as he exited the cave. “See? Was it so hard to just answer what I asked?” “How did you ever make it passed the academy?” “Did you not check those records?” “I did,” the AI said. “However, I'm asking you the question. Why not answer what I ask?” Star rolled his eyes. “I can navigate terrain well, and I'm not a great explorer.” he raced towards the edge of a cliff and looked across where his ship was. “Besides, if you could see the other candidates, I'd look like the poster foal for amazing.” Star activated his jetpack and flew across the gap. “Happy with the answers?” “I'll be sure to check up on who you trained with,” the AI said. “I'd love to see if they're as bad you claim.” As Star landed, he spotted another animal near his ship. It resembled a large cat, with—again—reddish brown skin, though it had a white patch around its stomach. The area around its eyes was like green. Its legs varied in size, though not as greatly. Its hindlegs were more cat-like, but its forelegs were peculiar. They appeared smoother than the rest of its body, and ended in slender claws, similar to a bird. Star let out an audible groan. “Piss off!” He yelled to the animal. The animal turned its head and stared at him. “Awoo,” it cried out. “Do you have a translator in you?” Star asked the AI. “I said I was built for you ponies,” it replied. “What makes you think I understand what that animal is saying?” “Well, excuse me,” Star said. He approached that creature and tried to shoo it away. “Go on, get outta here.” The creature snapped at Star and growled angrily. Star took out his multi-tool and aimed it at the creature. “Hey, I'm warning you! I have a recorded two kills with this thing!” “Star, you realize it doesn't understand a word you're saying. Right?” “Hey, if it works for dogs, it might work here.” “Yeah, because that resembles a dog,” the AI said. “When we find a dragon-like creature, I hope you try to feed it cat food.” Star rolled his eyes and fired his mining laser at the creature. The creature dodged the laser and head-butted Star, who staggered back. “Tough little guy, aren't ya?” The creatures didn't reply, and ran off. “Star, you're a bad shot, and a worse negotiator,” the AI said. “I appreciate your kind words,” Star replied with sarcastic glee. He approached his ship and got into it. “Okay, time to load up on fuel and let's get home!” “You need a hyperdrive, genius.” Star started up the ship. “Thanks, Captain Obvious.” “You're welcome. How would you rate my service.” Star took off from the ground and soared towards the planet's atmosphere. “As helpful as a three inch nail to the skull.” “Thank you for rating this AI a three out of five. How would you improve the quality of this AI?” “No, I rate it a zero!” “Too late, sucker.” Star let out an audible groan as the shop broke the planet’s atmosphere. Ahead of him was a space station. Behind it, a large, red planet. Dozens of meteors, and a few ships, lay between him and the two objects. “Use your ships scanner,” the AI said. “You can perform a star system scan, or a planetary scan.” “You don't say,” Star deadpanned. He got the ship's scanner, which sent out a burst of light. “I've detected a distress beacon in the planet up ahead. Perhaps you'll find something there.” “Can you go back to just being sardonic?” Star asked as he hit the pulse drive function. “You were more tolerable that way.” “Okay,” the AI said. “When you get lost, don't come bitching to me.” “You suck.”
Gek TechStar Chaser kicked back in his seat as his starship flew towards the planet ahead of him. “So, do you have a model name or something?” “You ask this why?” The AI asked. “It'd be nice to actually call you by a name,” Star said. “Y'know, outside of 'obnoxious piece of trash’.” “My model name is Standard Issue Artificial Intelligence,” the AI said. “Okay, that's a stupid name,” Star said. “From now on, I'm calling you Eon.” “Why 'Eon’?” “It sounds cool.” “That's a stupid reason.” “Shut it, prick.” “How mature.” “I told you to shut it!” Star yelled as he swerved around a few meteors. “Make me.” “I… er…” Star let out a sigh and cursed to himself. “Warning: approaching planetary atmosphere. Pulse jumpers now offline,” Eon said as the ship made its descent into the planet's atmosphere. “I can see that,” Star said. “I'm not stupid, or blind.” “My sensors indicate you'd be one of several dozen pilots who are dumb enough to not realize they're near a planet.” “Hey, I've only once not realized I was near a planet, and that's because I'd been up for thirty hours straight fleeing pirates!” “And whose fault was that?” “Uhhh…” “Thought so,” Eon said. “Next time: don't try to rob the beings that have enough firepower to take over a space station.” “You're not my mom!” Star snapped. Thankfully, he thought. “You're right, I'm not,” Eon said, “but I know how to contact your boss, your monarch, and—yes—your mom.” “Stupid thing,” Star grumbled as he landed his starship on the ground. “Are you going to keep giving me new names?” Eon asked. “Can it, chucklefuck!” “I'll take that as a 'yes’.” “No, I won't keep giving you new names,” Star said as he opened the hatch. In front of him was a large, grassy field. “So, where exactly are we?” He asked. “This planet looks almost habitable.” “My sensors indicate this planet is known as Laprasioko Eyrong,” Eon said. “It's prone to intense rainfall and is devoid of fauna.” “Excellent! I won't get head-butted by another freak of nature today.” “You may, however, freeze,” Eon said. “Warning: storm imminent.” “Aww, but I don't like the cold!” Star whined. “Quit crying and go to the distress signal so you don't become a popsicle,” Eon said. “Even if that does fill my nonexistent mind with what you Pony's call 'joy’.” “Fine, fine,” Star said as he walked in the direction of the signal. “So, this place is devoid of fauna?” He asked. “There could potentially be some life forms somewhere,” Eon said. “But I don't know, as I lack data on the planet, aside from the name.” “If you lack data in the planet itself, how do you know the name?” “The Atlas has names to every known star system and planet,” Eon said. “While you've been off galavanting on planets that I wish killed you several dozen times over, I gathered information from the Atlas.” “So, wait, you know the names of the planets and star systems,” Star said, “but you didn't bother to learn alien languages so I don't get myself killed?” “I don't have a translation program installed,” Eon said. “Even if I learned the alien languages, I wouldn't be able to translate them for you.” “What kind of AI doesn't have a translation program in it?!” Star cried out. “Truthfully, I was made for tour guides,” Eon said. “Not for failed military personnel.” “Wait, you're telling me I'm stuck with an AI that was made for tours?!” Star yelled. “Then why in Celestia's name are you in my suit?!” “Meh, I dunno,” Eon said. “Maybe they hoped you'd die.” “I'm so glad you have as much faith as I do in the thought that others genuinely like me,” Star said. “Now, allow me to react in the only way I know how.” Star took out his multi-tool and looked around. “Oh… wait, there's fauna here. Crap.” “Nice going,” Eon said. “Now, allow me to make your life all the better.” Star looked up at the sky. “Oh, I hate everything about life,” he said as rain began to pour down. “Is every planet we visit going to rain on my parade?” Star asked as he galloped towards the distress signal. “Did you really just say that?” Eon asked. “Yes, I did,” Star said. “Deal with it.” Star leaped off the edge of a cliff and activated his jetpack to slow his fall to the other side. “Warning: thermal levels at seventy-five percent,” Eon said. “If you're lucky, you'll freeze slowly, and I can bask in your agony.” “Don't you do that already?” Star asked as he leaped over a rock. “Though, I'll admit, the idea of freezing to death is slightly more appealing than being stuck with you for Celestia knows how long.” “How could I improve my appeal to you?” “Uninstall yourself and never return,” Star said. “Bonus points if you also eject yourself from my suit and ignite when you hit the ground!” “I don't want to,” Eon said. “Deal with my presence, lieutenant.” Star ran under a cliff to catch his breath. “When… when we get home,” he said as he gasped for air. “May Celestia have mercy on your AI’s product line!” “You're delusional.” “I know,” Star said as he slumped to the ground, his heart racing. “Er, wait.” “Moron.” As Star continued to gasp for air, a thought hit him. “What are my thermal levels at?” He asked, a hint of panic in his voice. “Fifty-two percent,” Eon said. “The storm shows no signs of letting up. I recommend either curling up to die or going out to find Oxide Elements to refuel your thermal power.” “Okay, how did you ever get put into anything with how you talk?” Star asked as he ran out from under the cliff. “Not that I have a problem with it.” “You're a shit liar, Star,” Eon replied. “That said, I was programmed this way by a disgruntled employee. He made this part of me subtle. It only truly shows to ponies like you, whose personality is as appealing as eating glass.” “Aww, thank you,” Star said as he scanned his surroundings with his multi-tool. “My first marefriend told me the same thing.” Star walked over to a flower and, with his magic, removed the contents of it. “I'm shocked anyone ever loved you,” Eon said. “By the way, you're thermal levels are now below fifty percent.” “Thanks for the alert, bud.” Star put the Zinc into the thermal power source. Quickly, their levels rise back up to one hundred. “You make my life complete.” “Oh, what I would do to see you as a spy being interrogated by an enemy country,” Eon said. “That would be gold.” Star rolled his eyes when another thought hit him. “Eon, how far are we from the distress signal?” “You should arrive there in about three minutes.” “Why didn't I just land next to the signal?” “Because you're a fucking moron.” Star let out a sigh. “Son of a bitch.” “I concur. You are a son, and your mother appears to be a bitch,” Eon said. “From what I read, she punched Celestia.” “Hey, don't go snooping through my mother's history!” Star snapped. “Even… even if she was a bitch.” “Just go to that stupid beacon.” Eon replied. “Inconsiderate dick,” Star grumbled. “Ho-oly crap! Did she really try to steal Luna's teddy bear?” Eon asked. “No wonder you got kicked out of college!” “That was tabloid bait!” Star shouted. “I think.” “Hah, I'll believe that when I see flying snakes,” Eon said. “Just continue towards the beacon. I'm gonna keep reading about how her behavior got you kicked out of college.” Star rolled his eyes and continued towards the signal, a look of anger on his face. A little while later, and after the storm had cleared, Star arrived at the beacon. “Okay, how do I trace the signal?” He asked as he approached it. “Last time I tried to work one of these things, it exploded.” “Hit the flashing button,” Eon said. “Are you sure?” “No.” “Welp, here goes nothing!” Star said as he hit the flashing button. A beam of light shot into the air. “Okay, if that thing blows something up, it's not my fault.” “It's entirely your fault.” “Yeah, I know.” The beam of light scanned the nearby area before applying a waypoint marker a long ways away. “My sensors indicate that a Gek set up this beacon,” Eon said. “Of course, I doubt you care.” “Ooooh, you read my mind!” Star said. “Tell me, what am I thinking?” “Eon is the greatest AI ever.” “Okay, never mind,” Star said as he made his way back to his ship. “You know, you could've saved so much time if you had just landed near the beacon,” Eon said. “Eon, I know this! You've repeated yourself since I left the beacon itself!” Star snapped. “Yeah, but you know I'm right. Right?” “You’re like a nagging wife,” Star said. “Except you're attached to a part of me that I can't remove, or I'll die.” “So, it's like ‘'till death do us part’?” “Yes, except I want to use your non-existent eyes as ping pong balls.” “Oh, dearie, you're making me blush!” Star hopped into his starship. “Eon, if I had the option of being eaten alive or living with a physical version of you, I'd find the nearest cannibal and give them every unit I have.” “What if I was that cannibal?” The starship took off and flew towards the waypoint. “I wouldn't give you the satisfaction of that,” Star said. “Ever.” “I bet you taste like five week old rat.” “And I bet you taste like nine year old rust.” “Put us together and we're a meal fit for a king.” “Me, yes. You're more fit for a sewer pipe,” Star said. “Or a junkyard.” “Why do I feel like those are places your marefriend wanted to send you?” Eon asked. “Or were those places your mother wanted to send you?” “I'm pretty sure my marefriend wanted to eject me into space,” Star said. “Though for all I know, she wanted to bury me alive. As for my mother, she outright told me she wanted to watch me burn via volcanic eruption.” “How sweet! Why didn't you give her that as a mother's day gift?” “Nearest volcano was ninety miles away. You really think I'd walk all that way just to wait for a volcano to erupt?” “Yes.” “Only if I could bring you with me.” “No.” “Then that settles it!” Star said as he landed his starship outside of a large facility, the grass around where it landed being flattened. “I won't go die by a volcano.” “Bummer,” Eon said. “I wanted to see what it looked like when a douchebag burned to death.” Star hopped out of his starship. “I bet it's the most beautiful thing,” he said as he made his way towards the facilities door. “Though seeing you get smashed to pieces by a large sledgehammer is a close second.” “I’m beginning to think you dislike me.” Star let out a heavy sigh and approached the door, which automatically opened. “Oh, crap,” he said as he saw what was inside. Sitting on a chair, and reading a chart of sorts, was a small alien known as a Gek. Its face was wide, and it had two small eyes on opposite ends. Its skin was a light green, and looked almost rough to touch. It lowered the chart and let out a strange cry, almost like a duck's quack. “Uhh, salutations,” Star said as he approached the Gek. “I found your distress signal and it led me here.” The Gek stared at Star before it let out a cheerful sounding cry. “Nev komil lev navagra!” It said as it held up the chart. It pointed to an option that said, “give units.” Next to the option was the number seven hundred and fifty. “Eon, how many units do I have?” “Nine hundred and fifty.” Star stared at the Gek. “What do I get out of this if I give you the units?” The Gek held up a blueprint for a hyperdrive. “Eon.” “Yes?” “You can wipe records clean, right?” “Technically, yes.” “Mind doing me a solid and wiping what happens now?” “No.” “Oh well!” Star punched the Gek and grabbed the blueprint out from its hands. He ran to the entrance and towards his ship. “Not the worst thing I've ever done.” “You just robbed an alien that no doubt has connections to more dangerous aliens,” Eon said. “I'd like to think this is up there if only because it means I get to enjoy your suffering.” “It's a Gek. What are they going to do? Quack me to death?” Star asked as his ship took off. “You have too much faith in those obnoxious things.” “I can dream,” Eon said as the ship broke through the planet's atmosphere. “Though, now that you've robbed one, I'm doubtful they'll be very pleased to let you onto their space station.” Star's pupils shrunk. He grit his teeth and slammed his hooves onto the ship's steering wheel. “Son of a bitch!” Author's Note Confession time: When I reached the second planet, and the game recommended that I go to the distress signal, I ended up landing about three or so minutes away from the beacon itself. Ever since then, I've made it a priority to land right next to the stupid things. Even if it means spending more time trying to do so than it would to simply go to and from the things on foot. Also, while I referred to the planet as “red” in the previous chapter, the planet itself wasn't. The game seems to render planets differently from space, and it greatly irritates me. Perhaps some parts were very red, but I'm relying on memory, and it didn't appear that way. And no, I didn't steal the blueprints. I just thought it'd be funny, and make the story more interesting. Anyways, all of that said, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Tell me what you thought!
An Ingenious PlanStar Chaser rubbed his temples. “Okay, remain calm,” he said to himself. “I just need to think.” “Don't think too hard,” Eon said. “You might hurt yourself!” “You aren't helping!” Star said. “Well, you never have, but that's besides the point.” “Your points usually consist of yelling and whining like a foal who didn't get s toy,” Eon said. “Stop trying to sound like you're anything other than a moron.” Star ignored the AI and tapped his chin. “Oh, lemme alert the nearest fire department,” Eon said. “I feel you might burst into flames from all that thinking!” “Ha. Ha. Ha.” Star smirked cockily and set his sights on the space station. “I have a plan.” “Oh, did I just hear that correctly?” Eon asked. “You have a plan?” “That I do.” “And what is your master plan? Are you going to enter the space station and steal something?” “Close!” Star said. “I'm going to apologize.” “What?!” “Did I just blow your mind?” Star asked. “I mean, I know it's a pretty damn good plan, but geez. The almighty artificial intelligence can't comprehend the ingenuity of apologizing!” “Star, you can't be serious,” Eon said. “You punched a Gek, stole its blueprint, then decide to fucking apologize.” “What's so bad about that plan?” “You seriously think they'll let that all slide if you go 'I’m sowwy’?” “Yes.” “Has anyone ever told you that you might very well he the dumbest pony to ever disgrace the universe with his existence?” “Yes.” “Fucking. Shocked.” Star navigates passed a few meteors and neared the space station. “Eon, trust me-” “Famous last words!” “Hey, shut up!” Star snapped. “Hah, no.” “Listen you stupid thing!” Star growled. “Trust me, I've got this.” “Also famous last words!” “You somehow always manage to find new ways to make me want to commit horrible acts of violence,” Star said as he flew the ship into the space station and landed. “Sooner or later, I'll be on trial for murder and look like the biggest moron as I shout, 'the AI made me do it!’” “I'll be sure to somehow record the entire thing so I can watch it on loop,” Eon said. Star opened the ship's hatch. “You know, I could technically replace this suit with a new one right now, and I wouldn't die!” “Right, but what suits aboard a Gek piloted space station would fit a pony?” “Eon, stop ruining moments that fill me with joy.” “No.” “I hate you.” “Nicest thing you've said to me since we started this stupid mission… how many years ago?” “Enough that I don't care if I die being cooked alive.” “Oh, could I help?” Eon asked. “I've been known to make a mean soup!” “Because I totally believe you can make something that is positive in any fashion or form,” Star said as he walked into a long hallway. “My positivity circuits were fried when they saw who wore the suit I was programmed into,” Eon said. “Your ego burns with the fury of a thousand suns.” “Glad to know some part of me is radiant!” “I hope it supernovas soon.” “Okay, shut it,” Star said as he entered an office. “Let's be on our best behavior while I explain what happened.” A Gek behind a desk put down a chart and glanced at Star. “Navagra ilk por?” It asked. “Uh, hey!” Star said. “I'm here to apologize for punching one of your workers and taking his blueprint.” The Gek stared silently at Star. “So, apology accepted?” Star asked with a smile. The Gek slammed its fist on a button and sounded an alarm. Star’s right eye twitched as the alarm blared. “Fuck-a-doodle-doo…” “You're the greatest planner that has ever lived, Star!” Eon said. “Tell me, what's your plan now?” “Uhhhh.” Star frantically looked around the office. “Well, I'm going to steal a warp core!” “You know, I bet that Gek who had the blueprints had one,” Eon said. “Of course, you in your infinite wisdom decided 'Nah, screw that, let's just run out the door!’” “Can it, you intolerable machine!” “I'm an artificial-” “I don't give a flying fuck what you are right now!” A few Gek stormed through the door where Star had entered and aimed their multi-tools at him. “Oh balls,” Star said. “Oh, lemme get popcorn!” Eon said. “I've always wanted to see you become the bastard love child of swiss cheese and a pin cushion!” “Shut up and try to help me!” Star said as he looked around the room for a way to escape. “Hey, genius, why not the plant over there.” Star looked over at a potted plant. “Oh, good idea.” He levitated the plant over to himself and hurled it at the group of Gek, which knocked them down. “Ta-ta!” He said as he ran passed them. “Ah, crap, I actually helped you?” Eon asked. “I was hoping that they’d shoot you before you actually did anything.” “Something tells me they wanted to take me alive,” Star said as he ran down a long hallway. The Gek stood back up and spun around. “Ilk porva urtic!” They yelled as they fired off bolts from their multi-tools. “What was it about them wanting to take you alive?” Eon asked. “Oh, blow it out your non-existent ass!” “Nevar ilk parva!” A Gek shouted to Star before it fired off several bolts. “I can't understand a damn thing you're saying!” Star yelled back. “But honestly, I'm sorry!” “Star, I doubt they can understand you either,” Eon said. “And I doubt they'll care either since you plan on stealing a warp core.” “Hey, I can try to at least seem like slightly less of a dick than I actually am. Right?” “No, you’re irredeemable.” “You know how to make me feel like the greatest pony in the universe,” Star said as he entered the landing dock of the space station. “Okay, where do you little freaks keep the warp cores?” He asked aloud. “You really think they’d just show you?” “Maybe.” “You’re so naive, I swear you still believe in Santa.” “Wait, Santa isn’t real?!” “No, you idiot.” “MY LIFE IS A LIE!” “Just get steal that damn warp core before the end of the damn century you dipstick.” Star ran to the other side of the landing dock, dodging a few blasts from the Gek that were in pursuit, and tried to open the door. “Ah, shit, it’s locked!” “You’re a unicorn!” Eon yelled. “Use your fucking magic!” Star fired a powerful magic blast at the door, which blew a hole in it. “Oh… I didn’t think that would work,” he said as he walked through the door. “You are unbelievably stupid today,” Eon said. “Did you hit your head when I wasn’t paying attention?” “Hey, it’s a space station. I’d expect reinforced crap, y’know?” “And you have magic that has probably never been seen by the Gek in this star system! You think they’d truly understand it?” “Uhhh…” “Damn, you make my processors hurt.” “Wait, you can feel pain?” “It’s a figure of speech, stupid!” Star chuckled to himself. “You’re right, seeing the other one of us suffer is really fun.” “You’re a dead pony, Star.” “Being with you? Already am.” Eon let out a sigh. “My sensors indicate there’s a warp core in a nearby safe.” “Can you be specific? Like, which room?” Star asked as he barricaded the blow open door. “To your right,” Eon said. “In the damn storage facility.” Star turned to his right. Sure enough, there was a giant safe. “Oh.” “You’re hopeless. Completely hopeless.” “Hey, I’m not good under stress!” “Then how the hell did you manage to perform functionally on Laprasioko Eyrong?” “I wasn’t being shot at!” “You know, I must now ask you a serious question,” Eon said. “Tell me, did you get that position of lieutenant given to you written in crayon?” “No, it was given to me in colored pencil,” Star said as he blasted open the safe. “You disgrace colored pencils.” Star ignored Eon and shifted through the contents of the safe. “A coupon for a free ship? Jackpot!” He said as he placed it in his inventory. “Lieutenant Fuck Up, you might want to hurry,” Eon said. “The Gek are getting through your barricade made of chairs, tables, and teddy bears.” “What?! Even the teddy bears?!” “Especially the teddy bear's!” Eon said in a sarcastic tone. “I can’t believe that cotton is being defeated by a laser!” Star frantically grabbed a warp core and a blueprint. He turned to face the barricade and waited for it to break down. Crash! Three Gek troops ran in and fired wildly at Star. Star, meanwhile, hurled another potted plant at them and ran passed them. “I guess they hate plants,” he said as he leaped off the balcony and ran towards his ship. He hopped in and started it up. “So long, fuckers!” “Your manners make me want to cry,” Eon said. “So much.” “Hey, they didn’t accept my well thought out apology.” “Your apology held as much weight as wet paper,” Eon said. “I’m pretty sure nobody could ever blame them for not accepting it.” “Well, I think I deserved to be forgiven.” “You deserve to be shot.” “Meanie.” “I’ve got something better,” Eon said. “Warning: enemy ships approaching.” Suddenly, several blasts flew passed Star’s ship. “Aw, crap,” he said as two Gek ships closed in on both sides of him, with a third directly above him. “Okay, time to have some fun!” Star swerved passed the ship to his right and turned around towards the space station. “I’ll let the meteors handle them!” He said. “You realise that plan is unbelievably stupid, right?” “Yep.” “Then why not just shoot them down?” “Too much work.” “And this is better how?” Eon asked as Star flew passed a large meteor. “Well, I don’t have to worry about somehow shooting an innocent pilot.” “Oh, wow, you have a conscious.” “I'm so glad your faith in me is growing,” Star said as he watched a Gek pilot fly directly into the meteor he’d passed. “Hey, Eon, play some kick ass music for me.” “Hmmm… ah, I've found just the song!” Just then, the music of gods and warriors started to play. “Yodel ay oddel ay oddel ay oh! Yodel ay oddel ay oddel ay oh!” A voice sung. “Eon! What is this shit?!” “What? Don't like it?” “Turn this garbage off!” Star snapped as the sound of champions surrounded him. “Hah, no. You're going to deal with it, and you're going to like it.” Star let out a groan. “Your taste in music makes me want to vomit.” “I think most ponies, and aliens, feel that way when they see you.” “Well, you aren’t wrong there,” Star said as he swerved around a meteor and watched a Gek crash into it. “My marefriend-” “Don’t continue.” “-used to say the very sight of me made her physically ill.” “I asked you not to continue.” “Yeah, and when I asked you not to continue, you did so anyways! So screw you!” “I am programmed to do that, you numbskull.” “I don’t care!” Star snapped. “You did it to me, so I did to you!” “That’s such a wise, thought provoking philosophy,” Eon said. “For those idiots who can’t let go of grudges.” “Okay, you know what, I don’t want to talk to you until the last ship is-” Before he could finish his sentence, the third and final ship flew passed Star and into a large meteor. “Fuck.” “All enemy ships have been eliminated,” Eon said. “So, where were we?” “I’m just going to install the hyperdrive,” Star said. “If you so much as talk to me, I’m going to raise Tartarus.” “I’m now talking to you. What are you going to do about it?” “Oh, Celestia, please help me get home so I never have to be near this jackass ever again.” “I hope she sends you back into space so we can become the bestest of friends.” “HELP ME!” Author's Note Next time on No Pony's Sky: A new star system! Also, a special thank you to Shinzakura for the idea to have the pre-order ship in the story somehow!
Manufactured for SuccessStar Chaser sat in his ship. His eyes were red from crying, and his head ached. “You feel any better?” Eon asked. “A little,” Star replied as he stared blankly at the ship's steering wheel. He let out a sigh and sat back in his seat. “Though my head feels like it's going to explode.” “I wish I didn't find that somewhat saddening,” Eon said. “Maybe you should get some sleep. Maybe you'll feel better in the morning.” “I'm not tired,” Star answered. “It isn't like I've ever relied on much sleep in my time out here anyway. Right?” “Star, get some sleep or I'll cut off your oxygen supply until you're knocked out.” “You're just going straight to the threats, huh?” “You spent fifteen minutes crying,” Eon said. “I'd be doing you a favor.” Star let out a sigh of defeat and lay back in his chair. “You're right,” he said. “Of course I am.” Star ignored the AI and shut his eyes. Within a few minutes, he was asleep. Star awoke the next morning with a skull splitting headache. “Shit, that hurts,” he said as he rubbed his temples. “Good morning, princess,” Eon said. “Feel any better?” “Aside from the headache? A little.” “Ah, so you're already in a bad mood I see?” “Yep.” “Then I guess I shouldn't break the news to you.” Star's eyes shot open. “What's wrong?” Thud. Thud. Star turned around and looked out the back of the ship. A bulky, beige, creature with a turtle-like head nudged the tail of ship. It had a large, dark yellow shell on its back, and it skin appeared somewhat rough. It's forelegs were bulky and powerful looking, while its hindlegs were similar to that of a bird. “No, no, NO!” Star screamed. He popped open the ship's hatch and grabbed his multi-tool. “Piss off you freak!” The creature turned its head. Its short, thick tail swung slowly from side to side as it stared curiously at Star. Star aimed his multi-tool at the creature and scanned it. Isdatun Ontuvio Temperament: Unconcerned Diet: Oxide Elements Weight: 99.05kg Height: 2.05m “At least you won't eat me,” Star said to himself. “Star, are you going to do anything with the animal?” Eon asked. “Or are you going to go to that manufacturing plant you detected yesterday?” “Oh shit,” Star said. “I forgot about that.”Star levitated a small rock to himself and threw it at the animal. “Piss off!” The creature head-butted Star and ran off. “Nice work,” Eon said. “And you wonder why animals hate you.” “I… figured it would get spooked and ran off.” Star got up and dusted himself off. “I still have your respect from last night despite that, right?” “Most of it.” “Damn it.” Star hopped back into his ship and turned it on. “No fuel available for take off,” Eon said. “Maybe I should've alerted you about this earlier. Oops.” “Crap…” One mining excursion later Star walked back to his ship, covered from head to toe in dust. He shook the dust off and popped open the ship's hatch. He hopped into it and groaned. “Eon.” “Yes?” “Did I ever tell you that I hate mining?” “Once or twice.” “Just making sure.” Star placed some Plutonium into an opening in his ship. He turned the ship on and took off. “Okay, to that manufacturing plant.” “What do you think's there?” “Hopefully something worth taking.” “You sound like a pirate.” Star chuckled. “Well, I have taken a fair amount of stuff while out here,” he said. “All of those Gek Charms weren't dug up!” “Or your multi-tool.” “I won it fair and square.” “You punched a Gek after it spit on your shoe and threw a deck of cards at you.” “It clearly wanted to play 'Dodge the Hoof Flying Towards Your Face’.” “Ever wonder if the Gek have you as one of their ten most wanted criminals?” “No,” Star said. “But how you that you mention it, I do.” “What do you think it says?” “Probably something like, 'Navgra ilk por turiz lek ves zem eck’!” Star said in a mock-Gek voice. “And now in Equestrian?” Eon asked. “Uhhh… psychotic pony wanted for assaulting numerous Gek. Be advised, he is armed and dangerous.” “That's more words than what you said in your terrible Gek voice.” “I don't know a damn word of their language!” Star snapped. “Stop judging me!” Eon chuckled. “I'm glad to see you're back to your old self.” Star landed just outside of a large building. “Let's not get ahead of ourselves,” he said as he popped the hatch to the ship. “I still have that headache.” Star walked up to the front door to the manufacturing plant and tried to open it. “Oh, come on!” “It looks like it's locked,” Eon said. “Did you ever make that Boltcaster?” “No,” Star said. He took out the blueprint and looked it over. “Twenty five iron and twenty five plutonium.” Star looked in his inventory and groaned. “Eon, remind me to never go someplace without iron ever again.” “Why? There's always a rock on a planet somewhere.” Star trotted over to a rock and fired his multi-tool’s mining laser at it. “Yeah, but doing this frustrates me to no end,” He said as he mined some iron. “Doesn't help this stupid shit only has fifteen slots.” “You could always buy more from a store.” “How many units do I have?” “Nine hundred and fifty. You haven't uploaded some of your discoveries to the Atlas though.” Star hit a button on his multi-tool that brought up a screen which showed the animals he'd scanned. He hit a button on the screen with a hoof to upload the data. Then the screen turned blue. “Warning: Error CE-34878-0,” Eon said. “Would you like to try again?” “Stupid thing,” Star said as he began to put his boltcaster chip together. “I'll worry about that later.” “I still don't trust you with that thing,” Eon said. “Kind of like an irresponsible teenager babysitting.” “It was you who reminded me to build it,” Star said as he finished the chip. He inserted the chip into the multi-tool and twitched to the boltcaster function. “So it's your fault.” “I hate when you're right,” Eon said. “I hate that you're right about this more.” Star chuckled to himself. “To add salt to your wound, I just remembered that I could've blown this thing down with my magic.” “I really hate myself right now,” Eon said. Star aimed the multi-tool at the door and fired it. Dozens of green bolts shot out of the firearm and struck the door, which exploded after a few seconds. “Warning: Sentinels inbound.” “Okay, I wasn't planning on those robotic freaks coming,” Star said as he ran into the building. An alarm blared, and a red light filled the room. “Okay, what exactly do I check?” He asked as he looked around the room. “There's a terminal over there,” Eon said. “Looks like that one we found covered in that creepy fungus.” Star ran over and activated it. “Come on, come on!” He growled. “Hey, Star,” Eon said. “Someone's at the door.” Star looked up from the terminal. “Son of a bitch,” he growled. In the doorway was a floating robot, spherical in shape, and grey in color. A red light glowed in the middle. It fired off several laser bolts, a few of which struck Star. Star drew his multi-tool and aimed it at the Sentinel. Click. “Why couldn't this be like the mining laser and just overheat?” “Because that's a laser beam and this isn't.” Star ducked behind the terminal and reloaded the boltcaster. “Hey, Star?” “It's behind me, isn't it?” Several laser bolts struck star in the back. “Warning: shields at twenty five percent.” Star sounds around and slammed the Sentinel with his multi-tool, which sent it crashing into the wall. “These things are more annoying than gnats. They always ruin my fun.” “Warning: more Sentinels inbound,” Eon said. “You may want to inspect that terminal now before you end up becoming one with the planet.” Star ran to the terminal and frantically hit its various functions. “Uhhh… it wants a code.” “Try four zeroes.” Star input the code. “Holy crap, it worked!” “Wait what?!” Star looked over the terminals message. “Wait, this is a signal to a mining crew on another planet,” he said. “Wait, I just helped the Gek? No!” “Maybe now they won't shoot you if you step hoof onto one of their space stations,” Eon said. “Yeah, but they're so ugly and creepy,” Star said. “And somehow still taller than me.” “Hey, Star, there's something on the terminal,” Eon said. “A blueprint.” Star looked at the terminal and accepted the gift offered by the Gek. “Antimatter?” He asked as the alarm finally shut off. “You need that to make warp cores,” Eon said. “By the way: Sentinels deactivated.” “So, wait, what do I need exactly to make warp cores?” “Antimatter and Thamium 9.” “Oh, that's easy!” “To make Antimatter, you need Electron Vapor, Heridium, and Zinc.” “Okay, that's rather irritating.” “To make an Electron Vapor, you need Suspension Fluid and Plutonium.” “Eon, please stop.” “To make Suspension Fluid, you need carbon.” “Oh, that's easy enough.” “Then get to work.” “Do I have the recipe for those last two?” “You have the recipe for Electron Vapor, but not Suspension Fluid,” Eon said. “You can buy them however.” Star tapped his chin with a hoof. “Any idea where I can get the recipe for that whatchamacallit fluid?” “Suspension Fluid,” Eon said. “And no.” “Welp, time to find some!” Star declared as he left the building. He walked towards a crate and pile of debris. He fired a magic bolt at it, which caused them to explode. He trotted over to the crated and levitated a bright, green orb up to himself. “Oh, hey, Suspension Fluid,” Eon said. It then turned to ash. “Hah!” Star groaned. “This is going to take forever!” He whined. “Well, you could always find a galactic vendor and try to buy one if them,” Eon said. “You know, like any sensible person.” “I barely have any units.” “Upload your discoveries and maybe scan some of the plants and rocks around here,” Eon said. “Those will fetch you a bit of money too.” Star aimed his multi-tool at a rock. Sure enough, a notification above a model of the rock on his visual analyzer stated he could upload it to the Atlas for five hundred units. “This shouldn't take too long,” Star said. “Though, question, do I gave any Heridium or Zinc?” “Negative.” “I take what I said back,” Star said. “This is going to be a nightmare.” Thirty minutes later. Star had scanned every nook and cranny a pony could imagine. From the smallest rock to the tallest cactus. He’d also mined every large pillar of Heridium and picked Zinc and Thamium 9 off of various flowers he'd seen. Too bad he'd forgotten one tiny detail. “Eon, where did we land?” “My sensors indicate the ship is about twenty minutes from here.” “How did I get so far from it?!” “You were jumping around like you had springs for hooves and wouldn't stop.” Star let out a frustrated sigh. “Damn it.” “It's your own fault.” “Be quiet.” Twenty minutes later. Star landed softly near his ship when he noticed a creature staring at his ship. It looked like a deer, and its skin was reddish-brown, though parts of it body seemed to be comprised of red scales. It had a few brown spikes on its back, and while its forelegs ended in hooves, its hind legs ended in bizarre smudges. Star frowned. He took out his multi-tool and switched it to the boltcaster. He aimed it at the creature and shot it until it died. “Was that really necessary?” Eon asked. “It wasn't like it was trying to eat your ship.” “Would you have preferred me to have thrown a rock at it and gotten head-butted again?” “Well, it would've been funnier.” “You would've also berated me.” “Fair enough.” Star hopped into his ship and started the ship up. “So, where should I go look for Suspension Fluid?” “Go try the space station,” Eon said. “Maybe if you're lucky, that Gek put a good word in for you.” “Okay,” Star said as he took off and flew towards the space station. “Though, don't you think they'll be mad a few of their pilots crashed into meteors while chasing me?” “You ask me expecting me to know?” “Yes.” “I don't.” “Crap.” Star flew into the space station and landed in the back. “Well, I guess I'm on my own.” “Hey now. You have your good pal, Eon.” “Now I know I'm fucked,” Star said as he entered a similar office to the one he'd been in on the other space station. “Uh, hey there.” The Gek lowered a chart and looked at it. “Fabarga nav kilk por izg,” it said as it pointed to the chart. “You want me to use that?” Star asked as he pointed to the chart. The Gek pointed to a button which read, “multi-tool.” “I think wants you to give it your multi-tool,” Eon. “For the sake of not being shot at again, I think you should it yours.” Star let out a groan and handed the Gek his multi-tool. “You break it and I'll turn you into a jigsaw puzzle.” The Gek laughed and inspected the multi-tool. It tossed it aside, which broke it, and handed Star a new one. “Uhhh… thanks,” Star said as he examined the new multi-tool. It resembled an assault rifle and was a sickly green. “I greatly appreciate it, even if your taste in color is atrocious.” The Gek clapped its hands excitedly and let out a wonderful smell. “Can I shoot it?” “No.” “Please?” “Maybe after you buy the Suspension Fluid.” Star walked over to a machine on the wall and hit a button. “Okay, let's see,” he said as he flipped through a few pages. “Ah-hah!” “How much is it?” Eon asked.. “Six thousand units.” “Well, there goes every unit you have!” “I hate my life,” Star said as he bought the item. “Okay, time to make this crap,” he said. “Just think Star,” Eon said. “When you get the recipe for the fluid, you can make them all on your own.” “Yeah, and I'll still want to bash my head against a rock.” “Crybaby.” Star finished making the warp core. “Can it, Eon,” he said. “And let's leave.” “What’s your problem?” “That headache I woke up with did me no favors for being shot at and having to mine a bunch of crap,” Star said as he walked down a long hallway. “Also, did this space station have the same architect as the other one?” “I'm astounded you actually observed something that wasn't related to units,” Eon said “Am I not allowed to observe something?” Star asked as he entered the landing bay. “I just found it odd is all.” Star walked over to his ship and popped the hatch. “Well, deal with it,” he said as he entered his ship. “Fine, allow me to change the topic," Eon said. “Exactly how are you going to pick your next star system? Are you going to blindly pick one and have fun?” “Damn straight!” Star said as he turned his ship on. “What happened to wanting to get home?” “Oh, I do,” Star said as he flew out into the vacuum of space. “But I feel it'll be fun to explore now that we're a little closer.” Eon remained silent for a few seconds before saying, “We're so going to get lost.” “No we won't,” Star said. “I promise.” “I’m gonna write my will now.” Author's Note A question for you all: would you like me to show the segment's of Star mining? Or just some of it? Or should I do as I did here and just skip to after he's done? I will show a lot more exploration related content starting with the next chapter. Alas, my star system information was lost for whatever dumb reason. Many apologies!
Learning A New Language“So let me get this straight,” Eon said. “You want to go home, yet you want to also explore because I said I have a bit more respect for you?” Star Chaser looked at his galactic map. Hundreds of stars filled it as he looked for his next destination. “Well, we'll have to explore to find things to get to home, right?” He asked. “I figure that an occasional break from looking for stuff can't hurt.” “Oh, that's not what I figured you meant.” Star selected a star system and sat back as the ship warped there. “What? Did you think I was going to go backwards?” “Kind of,” Eon said. “You did say you were going to pick out a random star system as your means of getting home.” “Well, I have no idea where Equus is.” “You’ve said that before,” Eon said. “Stop saying it.” “I'm sorry.” “It's fine,” Eon said. “By the way, does that new multi-tool have everything you need?” “Oh, crap, thanks for reminding me.” Star took out the multi-tool and checked. “Yep! It does,” he said. “I still wish your let me shoot that damn Gek though.” “That old multi-tool was three years old,” Eon said. “If anything, that Gek did you a favor.” “Fair enough point,” Star said as the ship arrived by a few enormous space freighters. “So, what's this star system called?” “Gaeseonjuku-Ettsu.” “Sounds exotic,” Star said as he used his scanner. “Ooh, there's a blueprint on that planet,” he said as he steered his ship towards a dry looking planet. “What do you think it's for?” He asked as he pulse jumped towards it. “It's probably something worthless,” Eon said. “Some stupid blueprint for your jetpack.” “You're just jealous because you don't get the satisfaction I do when I leap over a cliff and land safely on the other side,” Star said as the ship broke through the planet's atmosphere. “Holy crap, this planet looks like shit!” Star exclaimed as he got a good look at the less than pleasant sight. The planet's surface was completely barren. Harsh winds swept up dust, and rocks covered the ground like autumn leaves. The land off in the distance was mountainous. Star landed the ship a short distance from a ruined, dust covered building. “Star, I must warn you,” Eon said. “My sensors indicate the planet is extremely hot. I recommend finding something to help your suits thermal power while here.” “Oh, come on, how hot can it be?” Star pipped his ship's hatch. A blast of hot air blew against him as he did so. “Oh, sweet Celestia!” He yelled as his suit scrambled to cool itself. “The air is hotter than a room full of hormonal colts and fillies!” “Thanks, Star. I truly needed that image.” “You're very welcome,” Star said his suit finally cooled itself off. “Okay, what's the planet called?” He asked as he walked towards the building. “Nuriholareyr-Zef.” “What a name,” Star said as he looked up at the sky, which was yellowish and cloudy. “This planet is like Tartarus, only with less evil beings.” “Don't jinx it,” Eon said. “Even I'm somewhat afraid as to what might be here.” “Wow, the big, brave Eon is afraid,” Star said as he walked towards the building. “I'm absolutely shocked.” “Hey, it's perfectly natural,” Eon said. “Even if I can't feel any real emotion… so maybe it isn't actually natural.” Star walked into the building. The inside was dusty, and wires were exposed. A faint, red light glimmered in a corner, which illuminated a portion of a terminal. Near it was another terminal that had a medical cross on it. “Geez, even indoors, it feels like I'm being cooked alive,” Star said as he walked up to the terminal. He hit a button and a blueprint popped up. “Huh, a thermal warmer,” Star said. “Well, I won't complain.” “Maybe the planet's sentient and wants to eat you.” “Sure, and I'm Celestia's child,” Star said as he looked around the room. “Is that really it?” “Looks like it,” Eon said. “By the way, your thermal levels are are at seventy five percent.” “Yeah, I think I'm fine,” Star said as he left the building. He hit his scanner and noticed an odd icon appears not too far from him. It was purple, but the tip center portion was white—as though it was a light. “What do you think that is?” Star asked. “I don't know,” Eon said. “Why don't you go check it out.” Star ran over to the strange object.. “I hope it's something worthwhile.” Upon his arrival, Star saw a small, grey, object. It had a bright light near the top, and a few strange runes on it. Star stared at the object in confusion. “What is that?” “I don't know,” Eon said. “Can you scan it?” Star took out his multi-tool and attempted to scan it. “Nope,” he said. “I feel oddly compelled to touch it though.” “Are you sure that's a good idea?” Eon asked. “I feel like it'll turn you into ash.” “Only one way to found out,” Star said as he approached the object. He placed a hoof on it. Dozens of Gek voices filled the explorers head, each of which said a single word, until one remained. Friend, the voice repeated over and over. Star staggered back and fell onto his haunches. “Damn, that was intense,” he said. “What happened?” Eon asked. “Did you find out the meaning of life?” “No,” Star said as he stood up. “A bunch of Gek were talking to me. It was odd. I could understand what they were saying.” “Were they speaking their native tongue or Equestrian?” “I think they were speaking Equestrian,” Star said. “I wonder if there are more of these things.” “You can look later,” Eon said. “Warning: storm approaching.” “Wait, what kind of storm?” Suddenly, the wind kicked up. Dust blew against Star violently, and is thermal cooling temperature rapidly went down.“O-kay, that isn't good,” he said as he struggled to walk. “Eon, is there any way you could put the oxide elements into my suit on your own?” “No can do, Star,” Eon said. “I can affect your suits systems, but I can't use a physical object.” Star attempted to run towards.the building been in before, but wind proved to be too powerful, and he fell down in exhaustion. “Star, your thermal levels are at twenty five percent.” “When did they hit fifty?!” Star asked as he struggled to stand up. “You were in la-la land,” Eon said. “Or wherever you were when you touched that object.” Star opened his inventory and put some zinc into his thermal power source. “Well, that was all I had. What are they at now?” “Forty percent.” “Great,” Star said as he continued his struggle against the wind that this twisted version of mother nature called weather. “I’ve always wanted to die in a dust storm.” “Star, I have an idea,” Eon said. “It's incredibly risky, but it might work.” “I'm open to all options that don't involve me getting cooked alive!” “Use your magic and make yourself a hole.” “Uhhh… what?” “Maybe if you can make a make deep enough, you can escape the warm winds.” Star didn't argue and fired off a powerful magical beam towards the ground. “If this doesn't work, I’m going to haunt you.” “Hey, I didn't say this was guaranteed to work!” Star stopped casting the magical beam and looked down the hole. “Well, here goes nothing,” he said as he hopped down it. He landed softly at the bottom and fell to his haunches; exhausted and tired. “Hey, it worked!” Eon announced as Stars thermal levels rose back up. “You owe me.” Star passed out. “You can't escape paying your debt!” Star snored peacefully. “Jackass.” A short while later, Star woke up. “How… how long was I out?” “Long enough that your life support levels are at ten percent,” Eon said. “May wanna fix that.” Star's eyes shot open. He frantically look through his inventory and grabbed a bunch of plutonium. “Okay, this will do,” he said as he refilled his life support source. “Geez this is annoying.” “You've managed to do it all of this time,” Eon said. “You can continue to do it.” “Yeah, yeah,” Star said. “Okay, so what was I going to do before I passed out?” “You wondered if there were more of those strange objects around here. Then a really bad dust storm happened and you nearly died.” “Ah, yes,” Star said as he activated his jetpack and ascended out of the hole. “Maybe I should look for a way to counteract that.” “Or, you can just make more holes until it looks like a crazed archaeologist came through here with a giant drill,” Eon said. “I think my idea is cooler.” “Your idea also means I have a higher chance of dying,” Star said. “Of course, I hear they plan on making more seasons of the grounds favorite show: Dirt. I hear season eight hundred and nine is the best of them all.” “Fine, fine,” Eon said. “Maybe there are more abandoned buildings around here that have more thermal add-ons for your exosuit.” Star scanned the area. And found nothing. “Welp, looks like I'll be doing this the old fashioned way,” Star said as he ran back towards his ship. “I'm gonna bet you ten units that you crash into a mountain.” Star popped open the hatch to his ship and leaped into it. “You must have faith in me, young AI!” He exclaimed as he turned his ship on and took off. “I'm a lieutenant after all!” “Okay, first of all, stop with the enthusiasm,” Eon said. “It's really disturbing. Second of all, you're the same lieutenant who once tried threw a multi-tool at a giant ant-like creature that walked in two legs, then ran the other the way when it chased after him, all the while asking why it was doing so.“ “Hey, it was a natural reaction to something four times your size!” Star snapped. “Besides, it was hideous.” “Okay, I'll agree with that. It was probably the ugliest thing we've seen to date.” Star smiled and scanned the land below him. “Hey, I've got a hit!” “Is it a building?” “No, it's some sort of ruin,” Star said. “Should we go check it out?” “I'm afraid that you'll either get bored and fall asleep, or another storm will start up,” Eon said. “Perhaps you should wait.” “What if I land right next to the ruins and wait near the ship?” “You're going to go to the ruins no matter what I say, right?” Star landed his ship in the middle of the ruins. “You say something?” He asked as he popped the ship's hatch. “I said you've got a death wish.” “Oh, I realized that a long time ago,” Star replied as he looked up at the giant ruined structure that loomed before him. It looked like a globe, and was a dark blueish color. Directly below the monolithic story was a hole with something inside of it. Nearby were three of those strange objects Star had seen earlier. “This has to be hundreds of years old,” Eon said. “Perhaps even thousands.” “So, about the age of the average librarian?” “Not that old.” “Oh.” Star approached one of the strange objects and looked at it curiously. “Eon, any idea if there's an impending storm?” “There's a chance there will be one within the next twenty minutes,” Eon said. “Here goes nothing,” Star said. He approached the object and touched it. Again, dozens of voices filled his head until only one remained. Idiot. Star staggered back and glared at the object. “Dick.” “What word stuck with you?” “Idiot,” Star grumbled. “Oh, that's rich!” Star rolled his eyes and walked over to another one of the objects. He touched it. Hello. “Did this one call you a fool?” “No,” Star said. “It just said 'hello'.” “Lame.” Star walked over to the last object and touched it. Sentinel. “That's all of them.” Star turned his attention to the small hole on the ground. “Do I dare touch it?” “I dunno, Eon said. “Do you?” “I was asking you.” “Sure,” Eon replied. Go ahead.” Star approached the circle and nervously touched it. A diamond-shaped object sprung out of it. Lines of code filled Stars mind as he stared blankly at the object. You desire the knowledge within these knowledge stone's and this monolith? Find the Atlas then. Then, just as quickly as it appeared, the object shot back into the ground. Star staggered backwards and fell down next to a stone. “Uh, Star? Are you okay?” Eon asked. “My brain is full of fuck.” “That’s nice and all,” Eon said, “but you may wanna get into your ship because, like any great weatherman, I was wrong about my prediction.” Star's eyes shot open. “Wait, you admired to being wrong?!” “Star! It's going to start storming any second now!” As if on queue, the wind picked up violently. Dust blew against Star as a sudden realization hit him. He was about to be cooked alive by a barren planet that he compared to a bunch of horny kids. With every ounce of strength he stood up and tried to reach his ship. Come on, Star, he thought as he struggled against the violent wind. No planet is going to keep you down! After several grueling minutes, Star reached his ship. he held onto its side and, using his magic, popped the ship's hatch open. He slowly climbed in and shut the hatch. “Hah! Suck it, planet!” “Star, you realize you were only three feet from your ship that whole time, right?” “Lemme have my moment.” “You could've just held onto the side of the ship and used it as support.” “Stop ruining my heroic feeling!” “No.” “Feh, fine,” Star said as he adjusted himself. “So, that… monolith thing told me to go 'find the Atlas’.” “Wait, the place you upload that data to?” “I guess,” Star said. “Where exactly is the Atlas?” “I haven't got the slightest idea.” “You think it has anything worth taking?” “I've read that there are things called Atlas stones that are worth a lot of units.” “Oooh.” “They're also extremely rare.” “Never mind!” “So, no Atlas hunting?” Star tapped his chin. “Maybe.” Author's Note I don't plan on having Star go down the path of the Atlas. That said, he'll encounter it at least once.
A Recipe for DisasterStar Chaser sat in his ship with a look of frustration on his face as he watched the storm outside rage on. He let out a sigh and sat back in his seat. “So, twice today you've almost died,” Eon said. “I'd seriously recommend looking for something to combat the heat outside.” “Okay, fine,” Star replied. “How about we go hunt for something like that thermal warmer I found earlier?” “Are you sure that's a good idea?” Eon asked. “The visibility with the storm is horrendous.” “I'll be fine,” Star said. “Alright,” Eon said. “Any idea where one might be?” “I'd guess in a building like the one I found the other in,” Star said. “Personally, I was hoping you might've detected one while I flew to the ruins.” “Negative,” Eon said. “However, I did detect a bit of wildlife.” “Of course you did.” Star turned his ship on and took off. “Tell me, did any look like the creatures from the monster movies back home?” “How should I know?” Eon asked. “I only detected their presence.” “I seriously need to find an upgrade for your radar,” Star mused as he scanned the ground below him. “Oh, hey, a distress beacon.” “Are you gonna check it out?” “No. Whoever set it up and can wait for a real hero,” Star said as he flew west and scanned the ground again. “And another fucking beacon. How many poor souls got lost here?!” “You're one of them.” “I have a functioning ship.” “You're about to crash into a mountain.” Star shook his head. “Oh, shit!” He said as he swerved around the top of a mountain. “Pilot of the year,” Eon said sarcastically. “Next time, wait for the storm to end." “Quiet,” Star said as he scanned the ground for a third time. “Oh, hey, a hit on something that isn't a beacon!” “What is it?” “Looks like a building,” Star said. He descended towards the location of the hit. Through the thick dust, a tall, crumbling, dust covered building came into view. “Looks old,” Star said. I'm shocked it's still standing.” “I've detected another one of those 'knowledge stones’ you found earlier in the general area,” Eon said. “Maybe you can learn more words so you know when a Gek is insulting your unrivaled brilliance.” “Then I can shoot them, right?” “No.” “But mom!” “Do that again and your oxygen supply goes the way of the Dodo.” “Jerk,” Star grumbled as he landed a few feet away from the ruin. “So, any idea when the storm will subside?” “I’m afraid that if I make another prediction, we’ll be stuck in here for nine hours.” Star shivered. “That's scarier than being in a petting zoo.” “You say that as my sensors pick up movement not too far from the ship.” Star let out a groan. “Which direction?” “Behind us.” Star looked behind the ship. He could barely make out the outline of a wolf-like creature. “Nope.” Star turned his ship back on, lifted off, moved back a few feet, and… Crunch Landed on the animal. “Was that really necessary?” Eon asked. “Yep.” “You have issues.” “In my defense, I never do well with animals.” “I stand by what I said,” Eon said. “By the way: storm clearing.” Star popped the ship's hatch as the wind died down. He hopped out and scanned the area. “Ah, there's that stone,” he said as he approached it. He put his hoof on it, and dozens of voices filled his head until only one remained. Gek. “'Hello, idiot Gek friend,’ the Sentinel said,” Star said. “What are you going on about?” Eon asked. “I learned how to say 'Gek’,” Star said. “So I made a little story.” “Your story sucks.” “I know it does,” Star said as he looked up at the ruined building. “Okay, let's see what the place holds in store for us.” Up close, it looked like a portion of a castle, and had a greenish tint underneath all of the dust, though it'd been weathered away by the wind and blistering heat. “Hey, you think we'll find Gek mummies here?” Star asked. “I hope we do.” “Why?” “Because it'd be awesome.” “That's a really bland reason.” “Fine: because mummies are usually buried with valuable things,” Star said as he approached the structure. “Go back to your original reason,” Eon said. “It makes you look a little better in my processors.” “Too late, sucker,” Star said as he entered the structure. The inside was largely unimpressive. A few vases and urns lay broken on the floor, and the air was humid. A small, but broken, staircase lead to an upper level. “Well, I can tell this place is going to hold all sorts of wondrous things,” he said sarcastically. “Star, this is the first room,” Eon said. “Why don't you go explore the rest of the place before you whine that there's nothing here.’ “Yeah, but it feels so… empty,” Star said as he walked towards the broken staircase and walked up it, the stairs creaking with each step he took. “You’ve seen far too many movies,” Eon said. “They’re ruins. Of course they're empty!” leaped over to the other side and continued up to a the second—and final—room. The room had no door that lead into it, and was covered in a thick layer of dust. Despite that, one object was still visible. A small chest. “Ooh, it's like a Daring Do adventure!” Star exclaimed. “Okay, I just have to slowly make my way to the chest, right?” “You're a unicorn, and you have a shield that can save you from animals with teeth bigger than you, bullets, and explosions, just to name a few. Why not just run and grab whatever is in there?” “Because that wouldn't be fun.” “Star,” Eon said, “just grab whatever is in there. Please.” Star let out a heavy sigh. “Fine, but only because you said please.” He walked over to the chest and opened it. “Well, hello there,” he said as he levitated a blueprint for a Plasma Launcher out. “You'll prove to be fun.” “Oh, just what you need,” Eon said. “Something that could destroy part of a building.” “I didn't even think about that. Thanks!” “Shit.” Star looked at the required resources. “Feh, I need more Heridium and Carbon,” he grumbled. “Eon, any signs of a storm soon?” “Negative,” Eon answered. “Though I'd make it quick. I was wrong last time.” Star stood up and ran out of the room. He leaped off of the staircase landed softly on the ground below. “Okay, this shouldn't take too long,” he said as he walked out. He took out his multi-tool and mined some carbon from a nearby plant. “Any idea where a nearby pillar of Heridium might be?” “Why not scan the location instead of asking me?” “Someone has an attitude.” “I'm not a damn scanner, Star,” Eon said. “I may be able to detect things, but I can't hand out coordinates.” “Well, excuse me!” Star said as he scanned the area. “Okay, a pillar is right nearby.” “I’d recommend taking your ship in case a storm occurs,” Eon said. “Unless you want to pass out in a hole again.” “Okay, mom,” Star said. “Want to also give me a curfew?” “Be home by six, and don't take candy from strangers.” “What if they offer me a teddy bear?” “Then it's perfectly okay to go with them!” “You'd make the worst parent ever,” Star said as he popped the hatch to his ship. “And that's taking into account yours truly,” he said as turned his ship on and took off. “I'm honored to hold such a title.” Star chuckled. “It isn't the only title you hold,” he said.“You also hold the title for worst AI ever.” “You take that back this instant you heartless bastard!” “Nope.” Eon cut Star's oxygen supply off. “Take it back!” “I… ake… back!” Eon turned Star's oxygen supply back on. “Good boy!” Star gasped for air. “What the hell, Eon?!” “What? I've threatened to cut it off before!” “Yeah, but I never thought you'd actually do it!” Star said as he landed his ship near the Heridium pillar. “Besides, I called you the 'worst AI anyone could ask for’ the other day.” “I wouldn't have actually let you die you baby,” Eon said. “And that isn't the day same as actually calling me the worst AI.” Star cursed to himself and fired his multi-tool’s mining laser at the pillar. “You can be such a meanie pants.” “Using insults meant for five year olds I see?” “Got a problem with it?” “Well, I don't wear pants for starters,” Eon said. “And no, I don't. Actually, it's rather adorable.” “I think I'm going to be sick,” Star said as he finished mining the Heridium. “The notion that you find something I did adorable is… ew!” Star's face turned green and he ran back into his ship. One vomiting session later “Remind me to do that more often,” Eon said. “I feel it's the perfect Achilles heel.” “I hate you,” Star said as he threw an inconspicuously green bag down into a ravine. “Like, I hate you so much that I could make this planet five degrees hotter.” “That isn't much hatred when you consider this planet is over two hundred degrees Fahrenheit.” “Oh.” “Yeah, maybe you should amp it up to about fifty degrees hotter.” “Maybe later,” Star said as he pulled out the blueprint he found earlier. “For now, I must make this!” “How adorable.” “That wasn't genuine!” “Damn it.” Star chuckled to himself as he began to put together a new chip for his multi-tool. “Let's see, this goes here and that goes into that…” “Oh, how I'd love to see you describe the birds and the bees to a bunch of foals.” “I tried that once actually.” “What happened?” “Well, let's just say the local school doesn't like me anymore.” “Seems like a net gain for them all things considered.” Star scoffed as he finished the chip. “Okay, time to see what this bad boy can do!” He said as he implemented the chip into his multi-tool. “Don’t blow yourself up.” Star aimed the multi-tool at a nearby boulder and fired off a plasma grenade. Boom! The boulder exploded into hundreds of tiny pieces. A crater remained where the giant hunk of rock was proudly stood motionless. “That was freaking awesome!” Star exclaimed. “Think I could use it to defend myself against wildlife?” “You… you wanna blow them up?” Eon asked. “Why?!” “What? You're shocked I’d want to extract revenge on them after being head-butted so much?” “Yeah, but that's a grenade launcher and they're animals.” “So?” “You can't put two and two together here, can you?” “Animal plus grenade equals happy Star.” “You have a regular gun and yet you opt to use the explosive launcher,” Eon said. “Your logic baffles me.” “My logic is amazing.” “No it isn't.” “It's flawless.” “Damn it, Star, I swear I will cut your oxygen supply off again.” “Fine, fine,” Star said. “I won't use the grenade launcher on the animals.” “Terrific!” Eon said. “Now, you may want to get back to your ship.” Suddenly, the wind picked up, and Star was blown against a rock. “I've had it with this fucking planet!” He growled as he struggled to stand back up. “Hey, I have this crazy idea,” Eon said. “You have a grenade launcher. Why not use that to make a hole you can stay in?” “Works for me!” Star aimed his multi-tool at the ground in front of him and fired a few grenades at it. “That'll work,” he said as he blindly leaped down into the hole. And into a cavern. Thud! “Okay, I wasn't expecting actual rock at the bottom.” “Nice landing,” Eon said. “I give it a six.” “I'll take it,” Star said as he stood up. He took out his multi-tool and hit the scanner on it. Dozens of veins of Plutonium and other elements popped up on his visor. “Ho-oly shit,” he said. “That's a lot of useful stuff.” “Star, I don't think you have enough slots in your inventory to carry all of that,” Eon said. “Let alone enough storage in your ship.” “Eon, I've got this,” Star said. “Can I put a waypoint marker here?” “Unfortunately, no.” “What?!” Star cried out. “Why the fuck not?!” “Your suit isn't equipped with such a function,” Eon said. “While I may find it amusing to see you flip out, I do think it's total crap nonetheless.” Star let out an annoyed groan. “I was going to go back and forth between the space station and sell all of this,” Star said. “Guess I'll take what I can carry.” “Star, that seems incredibly inefficient when you take into account how long that would take,” Eon said as Star mined a vein of plutonium. “You'd have to take maybe four or five trips!” “Yeah, and imagine how many units if make,” Star said as he finished mining the vein of plutonium. “I could buy a new ship!” “You have a coupon for a free one, don't you?” “Oh, shit, I do,” Star answered. “I’ll worry about it next time we go to a space station.” “Then you'll forget about it, right?” “Probably,” Star said. “But you can remind me, right?” “Fine, but only because I want to see what the ship looks like,” Eon said. “By the way, the storm's clearing,” Eon said as Star mined a vein of gold. “So you can go resume your little journey to get that thermal coolant.” “Do you feel it's really worth the effort?” Star asked. “This planet wouldn't be as bad as it is if it wasn't so violently windy.” “I've read of planets getting up to temperatures as high as six hundred degrees Fahrenheit.” “Never mind, I'll go find it,” Star said as he continued to mine. “Let me just got few more minerals!” “Star, with how long you take, another storm will have started by the time you're done.” “Eon, this is necessary!” Star said in a pleading voice. “In case a future blueprint needs any of these to be made!” “You can't fool me,” Eon said. “You're going to sell them.” “I need to get a better poker face,” Star mumbled. “Fine, let's go,” he said as he walked back to the hole he'd made. “Oh, don't be sad,” Eon said as Star ascended up through the hole. “There will no doubt be more minerals you can mine on the next planet.” “Yeah, but those were all so condensed!” Star whined as he walked back to his ship. It took the aspect of mining I hate the most out and let me just take it all!” “If we were down there for another four minutes, you would've gotten bored.” “You… aren't wrong, which ticks me off,” Star said as he popped the hatch to his ship. “It's almost as bad as when I'm wrong!” “Good thing they both happen equally,” Eon said. “Now, how do you propose you get that thermal coolant?” “It was your idea,” Star said as he turned his ship on and took off. “Why don't you give me an idea?” “Go find another building.” “Wonderful idea!” Star said. “Shouldn't take too long,” he said as he scanned the ground below. “Now watch it take us several ho-” “I found one!” “Well, damn.” Star landed his ship outside of a small, dust covered building. Outside of the building stood a broke beacon and a few containers that had been looted. A few animals scurried away as Star hopped out of his ship and walked towards the building. “Lady luck, be kind to ol’ Star.” “Says the thirty-three year old stallion.” “It sounded better that way,” Star said as he entered the building that looked as those it had been unearthed from beneath a desert. “If I didn't know any better, every building on this planet was a sandcastle,” he said as he observed the interior. A terminal, first-aid kit, and multi-tool—which rested on the wall—were all covered in dust. The corpse of a Gek sat in the corner. Beside it was a second multi-tool, which had been partly eaten. “Let me guess,” Eon said. “You're going to search that Gek?” “Oh, come on,” Star said. “I was just joking about the mummies earlier.” “Sure you were.” Star rolled his eyes and approached the multi-tool on the wall. “This thing looks ancient,” he said. “My sensors indicate it's five years old.” “Like I said: ancient,” Star said as he set his sights on the terminal. “Eon, do you have any idea if this thing is still functional?” “In all truthfulness, I'm not sure,” Eon answered. “No part of it appears to be damaged.” Star hesitantly hit a switch, which turned the terminal on, which caused a message to appear. Gek crew crashed on planet to try and tried to survive against harsh conditions and wildlife. Most wildlife not threatening, but one creature with huge teeth crave meat and want to eat Gek. Afraid I won't survive long. Others couldn't contact space station. Signal too weak, and weather damaged beacon beyond repair. Did create something to combat harsh weather. Doesn't last long, but was enough to help us get food. Uses Oxide elements to keep cool. Whoever finds this, take it. Blueprint at end of this message. A blueprint suddenly popped out of an compartment on the side of the terminal. Star picked it up and looked at it with a smile. “Score!” “You know, if you install that, you should probably install the thermal warmer too.” “That isn't a bad idea,” he said. “Still, that's two slots in my inventory taken. Any idea where I could get more?” “Go find a place where you can get more slots?” “The ever helpful Eon! Just telling me to go find a place with no help!” “Okay, there places that sell them. Sometimes, when space freighters are attacked, certain parts are launched out to screw the pirates over, and they sometimes land on nearby planets. You can't miss them, they're rather big, and have a safety field in front of where you enter to purchase the additional inventory space.” “See, that wasn't so bad now was it?” “I think I died a little on the inside.” Star laughed. “The little things in life,” he said as he looked over the blueprint. “Iron and carbon… okay, that should be easy.” Star rolled up the blueprint and placed it in his inventory. He walked towards the exit where he was greeted by a small, yellow-brown colored creature. Its neck was horizontal, and its head—which had a beak for a nose, two horns at the top, and no visible face—was tilted downwards. It had two short, slender legs that looked to have dust-colored vines wrapped around it. Star stared down at the abomination. The abomination stared down at the ground. “You are horrifying.” The abomination ran off. “Guess you hurt its feelings,” Eon said. “Bummer,” Star said. “I kinda wanted to kick it.” “Okay, I admit: that would've been kinda funny to see,” Eon said “except it wouldn't have you soulless monster.” Star chuckled. “Stop, I might blush,” he said as he popped the hatch to his ship and got in. “Okay, now to leave this shithole for good!” “Warning: storm incoming.” “Oh, yay, a parting gift,” Star said as he took off. Despite the piss poor visibility, Star broke through the planet’s atmosphere and was soon in orbit around the planet. “Do you think if I report that building to a Gek at the space station, they'd reward me?” “They might,” Eon said. “But do you really care enough to do so?” “Good point,” Star answered. “Off to a new world then!” Author's Note Hope you all didn't mind me actually putting what the message was in the terminal. While i normally would have something an alien says be gibberish, I felt it worked better if it was readable here. Anyways, hope you all enjoyed it!
Somepony's SkyStar Chaser whistled a nameless tune as he navigated his way through a small field of meteors. Around him were a few enormous space freighters, and off in the distance was a vibrant, red planet "Music to my processors,” Eon said as Star continued to whistle. “So, what are your plans when you arrive on planet blood drive over there?” Star stopped whistling and chuckled. “I'll harness the power of vampires and create an army to take over the galaxy,” he said. “Then nobody will be able to stop me!” “How creative,” Eon said. “Now, what are you really going to do?” “Get an army of werewolves.” Eon remained silent. “Fine, fine,” Star said. “What was that fluid thingy I needed?” “You mean Suspension Fluid?” Eon asked. “Well, that'd be great. If you do find a blueprint for that, you're nearly set for your trip home.” “Have you forgotten who you're with?” Star asked. “Because I think my werewolf plan might've fried your processors a bit.” “Yes, I remember,” Eon said. “I'm with the dumbest pilot in the galaxy.” “I appreciate your compliment,” Star said as he approached the red planet. “I hope this color doesn't become reoccurring thing.” “Don't like the color red I take it?” “Well, there's only one color I truly dislike, and that's purple. That said, red would probably be my second least favorite color. It's more that red is the color of blood,” Star said. “So, I'm going to guess you're squeamish and that you aren't a fan of princess Twilight if that's the case?” “Yes to squeamish and sorta,” Star said. “If she dyed her coat, maybe I'd like her more. As it is, I always want to empty a bucket of paint onto her.” Before Eon could reply, a wave of light flew over. Star's ship. “What was that?” He asked. “That was another ships star system scan.” “That's… not good, is it?” Star asked as he got within the red planet's gravitational pull. As if on queue, an alarm started to blare inside the ship. Star covered his ears and cringed at the painfully loud noise. “Warning: hostile ships approaching,” Eon said. “So, I guess that answers your question.” “No, I think I need it spelled out for me,” Star said as he tried to activate his ships boosters. “Oh, come on! They're jammed? What a load!” While Star started to break through the planet's atmosphere, numerous ships appeared not too far from him and attacked a nearby space freighter. “Oh, Star! Your friends who you tried to rob,” Eon said. “What did you call then?” “I said they're what one would get if they combined the shame one feels after a college party that involved heavy drinking and a bunch of cockroaches “ Star said as his ship entered the planet's skies. “Now, with any luck, they won't see me and I can go about my life without disruption.” “Well, I just detected another scan from a few of them,” Eon said. “So, you may be cautious.” Star groaned. “I hate pirates,” he said as he flew over a red meadow. “Uh… Star?” “Some of are behind me, aren't they?” “Some of them are behind you.” Suddenly, several plasma bolts flew passed Star, along with two laser beams. “Oh, crap!” Star yelled as he tried to dodge the oncoming barrage of fire. “Okay, is there any way i can lose them?” “You could land, but I fear they'd be too much for even your shield to handle,” Eon said. “My only advice is to try and fend them off.” Star let out a frustrated sigh as another barrage of plasma bolts flew passed his ship, a few striking the rear of the ship. “Okay, no reason to panic.” Vwoom! An enormous, green energy beam flew passed Star's ship and struck a large tree in front of it, which caused it to explode. “Never mind, I'm in full blown panic mode!” Star said as he made a sharp right turn. Crash! Behind him, a ship tried to make the same sudden turn and slammed into the ground. It rolled over numerous times and finally settled where the tree had been, now resembling a piece of abstract art. “Star, your ship has weapons, right?” “Yeah, and I despise-” “Fucking use them!” Star turned his ship upwards and spun it around. He locked onto one of the ships and fired his plasma cannon at it, which blasted the ship's left wing off. Woosh! Star watched as the ship flew passed the left side of his windshield and slammed into the ground. “Ho-oly crap that was awesome!” He said as the ship exploded into heaps of flaming twisted metal. “While I agree, you still have three other ships to deal with and they seem rather content with lining up like ducks at a carnival game.” Star turned his attention to the center ship had a large cannon in the front that appeared to be charging something. “Oh, balls.” VWOOM! The central ship fired off an enormous, green energy beam enveloped Star's ship. “Warning: Shields at twenty five percent.” “Shit, shit, shit.” In a panic, Star slammed onto his ships boosters at he frantically searched for oxide elements to restore his ship's shields. Crash! Star jerked forward violently as his ship flew straight into the leftmost ship, and tore through the cockpit, which instantly killed the pilot, and sending the ship crashing into the ground. “Now you have no shields!” Eon exclaimed sarcastically. “Good going!” Star grabbed a bit of zinc and placed it into a small opening in his ship, which caused his shields to quickly rise back up. “Where are the last-” Woosh! A ship flew passed the right side of Star's ship, turned to face him, and fired off a wild barrage of plasma bolts. “Your shields are now at seventy five percent,” Eon said as Star made a sharp left turn. “What? Not gonna issue a warning?” Star asked as more bolts flew passed his ship. “Figured I'd spice things up.” “Well, I appreciate it,” Star said as he spotted another tree. “I have a terrible idea.” “Implying you've ever had a good idea?” “Not now, Eon!” Star said as he turned his shop towards the tree. “I just hope the bastard behind me doesn't-” Vwoom! The tree which Star had been flying towards exploded, and left behind a fiery stump. “My life sucks more than a black hole,” Star said as the ship with the large cannon flew passed Star and out of sight, and the other ship flew up along side Star's left side. Bang! The ship slammed into Star's ship, which caused the frustrated explorer to grit his teeth. “If they chipped the ship's paint…” “Why do you care about the paint more than your life?” “Because the paint makes it look awe-” Bang! Before Star could finish his sentence, the assaulting ship slammed into him again. “Screw this!” Star roared. He slammed into the aggressing ship and shook his hoof at the other pilot like an angry commuter. “Do you really think they understand you?” “Quiet it, makes me feel better,” Star said as he went to slam back into the other ship. However, the other pilot retaliated and slammed into Star even harder. “That sob of a bitch,” Star growled. He retaliated by slamming into the ship even harder. “Star, if I may suggest, why not fly up?” Star’s eyes widened. “That's a brilliant idea!” He said. He watched as the other pilot prepared to slam into him. “Screw you, other pilot!” He yelled as he flew up. He looked out his right window and watched as the other ship flew into the side if a mountain and exploded. “Star, the fact you didn't think to do that tells me all too much about how smart you are.” “There will be time for insults after we-” VWOOM! An enormous energy beam flew right passed Star’s ship, narrowly missing him. “Deal with the last ship.” The final ship hovered in front of Star. Its cannon glowed a faint green. “Star, may I suggest that you shoot it,” Eon said. “Also, I believe shooting it may work.” “Okay, so you want me to negotiate with it?” Star asked as the cannon glowed brighter. “Star, this is no time for being a wise ass! Just shoot the stupid thing until it explodes into a thousand tiny pieces and we can all roast s'mores over the twisted heaps of metal!” “So, you want me to try to coax it into letting me keep it as a pet?” Star asked with a chuckle. “No, I want you teach it how to dance.” Star swerved to the right as the cannon fired off a powerful energy beam. “Okay. I've got this,” he said as he aimed his plasma cannon at the ship's large cannon. He slammed on the fire button and watched as dozens of small plasma bolts flew towards the cannon. Kaboom! The ship, rather anticlimactically, exploded in a mixture of green and orange. Chunks of fiery twisted metal flew in all directions as Star watched in awe. “This sky is mine!” Star said with a large smile. “I'm honestly shocked you didn't die,” Eon said. “I'm a lieutenant for a reason,” Star said with a cocky grin. “Now, let's find a place to settle down for the night,” he said. “I don't feel terribly safe where most of these bastards ships have gone down.” “I can get behind that,” Eon said. “I just hope they don't somehow find you while you sleep.” “I have you,” Star said as he scanned the land around him. “Hey, there's a place not too far from here,” he said as he flew towards it. “Anyways, if anyone breaks in, you can make a crap ton of noise. Like a dog!” “I’m glad you think so much if me.” “What? Dogs are called a stallion's best friend!” “Something tells me you don't think that way about me.” “Well, if I had to be honest, you're the only real… thing that I've had to talk to. So, even though I hate you, you're still technically my best friend as of now. “That's both processor warming and disgusting.” “You're welcome!” Star said as he landed outside a small, rundown, building that resembled a boxcar. “Something tells me this isn't exactly a five star hotel.” “Is it the fact it's a single building that looks like it's a shed or the fact it looks like it hasn't been visited in years?” Star popped his ship's hatch and hopped out of it. “I was gonna say it's the fact it makes me sad just looking it,” he said as he shut the hatch. He looked at the side of his ship and frowned. “That bastard did scratch the paint!” “With how many meteors you've hit over the years, I doubt it makes a difference.” Star let out a sigh. “I guess,” he said. “So, if I may finally ask now that I'm not being shot at while flying,” he said as he walked towards the building, “what's the name of this planet?” “Tommotr LX307,” Eon said. “It sounds more like a model name for a starship than a planet name to me.” “Maybe it's actually a big, spherical ship!” Star said as he entered the building. “And this is about as dull as dull can get.” The inside of the building was completely empty, save for a blueprint on the floor. Star walked over and picked it up. “What's it for?” “Radiation protection,” Star said as he sat in the floor and stretched out. “Guess it's something.” “So are you going to sleep in here?” Eon asked. “Because my sensors indicate it's about twelve degrees Fahrenheit in here.” “Well, I was,” Star said. “When I read 'shelter’ while flying here, I expected a bed. Not what looks like a storage house.” “So, back to the ship?” Eon asked. “Back to the ship,” Star answered as he walked out of the building and over to his ship. “Reminds me of when I had a marefriend,” he said as he popped the hatch and hopped in. “But instead of a couch, it's the cockpit of a starship.” “If you have the slightest bit of an imagination, pretend I'm playing a violin.” Star shut the hatch to his ship and lay back in his seat. “No.” “Well, screw you then.” “Right back at you, bud, “ Star replied. With that, he shut his eyes and drifted off to sleep. That evening, Star slept peacefully CRASH! That is, until something crashed into the building in front of him while he slept. Star shot up and frantically looked around. “What the fuck?!” He asked. “Uh… Star,” Eon said. “You may not like this.” “What?” Star asked. “Has the wildlife learned how to make weapons and they're taking us over?” “No,” Eon said. “That enormous thing in the sky is.” Suddenly, an enormous shadow covered the land. Star looked up at the sky. “Oh... crap,” he said softly. A space freighter slowly descended to the ground. Fiery metal chunks rained down to the land like meteors. Star gulped as stared at the behemoth of a ship. “Why is that falling into the planet?” “The pirates must've destroyed its gravitational thrusters, so it got pulled in by the planet's gravitational pull,” Eon said. “I wouldn't be shocked if they brought it in closer as an act of revenge against the Gek for having them on their most wanted list.” “They're so charming,” Star said sardonically as he took off in the opposite direction of the enormous ship of no doubt wonderfully valuable and useful loot and items. Too bad most were stolen or destroyed “You know, you should buy a freighter,” Eon said. “Then, whenever you get home, you can show Celestia you bring her gifts from tons of worlds.” “I wouldn't spend that much just to brag that I've got a bunch of shit to show her,” Star said. “Unless she made me into a high ranking official.” “Surely she'd give you something for bringing back so many things, right?” “Yeah, and you're expecting me to not have sold it all.” “Well, wouldn't the currency back on home be more useful than units?” “You see, once Equus established its federation in space, it scrapped the 'bit’ in favor of the unit, since that acts as currency for other races.” “So, rather than give gifts from various other worlds to your monarch, you'd rather give them to the highest seller?” “Bingo!” Star exclaimed. “You win a round of applause from me!” Star clapped his hooves together when... CRASH! The space freighter finally slammed into the ground and sent up a tsunami of dirt. The monstrous, burning ship obliterated everything in its path before it finally stopped in the middle of the once dense and beautiful forest. Star stood motionless, a look of shock on his face. “Well,” he said sat motionless. “Should we go look at what remains?” “Absolutely,” Eon said. “I’m curious to see what it looks like myself.” Star flew up and turned around. Below, he saw the fiery wreckage the space freighter. “Think it's picture worthy?” “Oh, definitely,” Eon answered. “You can give it to Celestia as an Equus Day card and tell her to 'save the environment’!” “I like your thinking,” Star said as he looked around for a camera. KABOOM! Star flinched as the freighter exploded in an enormous ball of fire and metal, which leveled the nearby forestation and set it ablaze. “Guess it was camera shy,” Eon said. “Dang, I really wanted that picture,” Star said. “Oh well. Time to start looking for that Suspension Fluid blueprint again.” “The faster, the better,” Eon said. “I have a feeling those pirates are going to return soon.” “And if they do, I'll… probably run like a chicken,” Star said as he scanned the land below him. An outpost marked itself on his ships map. “Until let, let's try to enjoy the planet.” “My sensors indicate this planet has a lot of fauna.” Star placed his forehooves onto his temples. He looked up at the sky and yelled, “Damn it all to Tartarus!” Author's Note Felt like having an action filled chapter. Hope that didn't annoy anyone!
Pony Vs. WildlifeStar Chaser let out a heavy sigh. “I haven't been on this planet for a full day and I've been attacked by pirates, had to fly away from a destroyed space freighter and, worst of all, been told this stupid place is heavily populated with wildlife!” “Why don't you just go fly to another planet?” Eon asked. “Nobody is going to make you stay here.” “Except for the remaining pirates who won't think twice about stealing my stuff and killing me.” “So… shoot back?” Star scanned the ground veloe, which detected a small structure. “Eon, there are how many of them?” he asked as he landed. “I think I'm better off here for now. Might as well make the most of it, right?” “Fair enough,” Eon said. “Though be warned, I've detected a fair amount of wildlife movement not far from here.” Star took a deep breath. “I'll be fine,” he said as he popped his ship's hatch. He hopped out and shut it when something caught his eye. “Hey, Eon? Remember what you said about flying snakes?” “Yeah, I do.” “Well, I see a ton of creatures that look like worms,” Star said. “Close enough though, right?” In the sky were a few large, slender creatures. The top half of them were light brown in color, while the bottom half was yellow. They had two fins hear their heads in both sides, and had two dorsal fins near their heads. Star took out his multi-tool and scanned one of them. Lotabro Aysiro Temperament: Bold Diet: Grazing Creature Weight:188.48kg Height: 3.68 “What a name,” Star said as he observed the giant worm-like creatures. “Maybe if you catch one, you can fish up a giant fish,” Eon said. “Then you can lure out a giant best to eat it!” “I'm going to have nightmares for weeks now,” Star said as he scanned the area. “Great, more animals.” “You know, I remember reading about some Gek feeding animals as a way to get resources,” Eon said. “Some would dig them up, while others would guard them as they mined. Why not try that?” “You're kidding, right?” Star asked. “I don't know what they exactly like and dislike!” “Neither did they.” “How exactly do you know this?” “I get bored while you sleep,” Eon said. “So I snoop through historical files.” “Yet you don't share this stuff with me… why?” “You don't deserve it.” Star rolled his eyes. “Jerk,” he said as he walked over the hill. On the other side was a four legged creature that resembled a dog, though it had bright green scales and its stomach was light beige. It had three fins on its back, and two pointy ears. Near the ears were two horns that arched backwards. Star took out his multi-tool and scanned it. Cocledalmum Ueorgitat Temperament: Ambulatory Diet: Oxide elements Weight: 102.98kg Height: 1.33m “Okay, I just need a bit of iron,” Star said. He walked over to a nearby rock and fired his multi-tool’s mining laser at it. “You think it'll like iron?” Star asked as he obtained a bit of the element. “Even if it doesn't, perhaps you can convince it that you're trying to help prevent it from becoming anemic.” “Let me first learn how to speak animal,” Star said as he walked over to the creature. “Hey, buddy,” he said in an unconvincingly kind-hearted voice. The creature turned its head and looked at Star. “Argoo?” Star pulled out some iron and levitated it to the animal. “Want some?” The animal looked down at the iron and ate it quickly. “Argoo!” the animal ran in a circle and proceeded to run off. “Should I follow it?” Star asked. “Worth a shot,” Eon answered. “Of course, that's entirely on you.” Star ran in the direction the animal ran in. “Hey, what're you doing, little guy?” Star asked as he held back the urge to call the creature numerous horrible and brutally insulting names. The creature dropped a small rock in front of star and looked up at him with beady eyes. Star levitated the object up and looked at it. “It found me a rock,” he deadpanned. “How about you open it?” Star placed it down and opened it. Inside was a bit of plutonium. “How wonderful,” he said. “Something I can find on every planet I'm ever on.” “The animal's digging something else,” Eon said. Star levitated the plutonium up and placed it into his inventory. He walked over to the animals and looked at the object. “Can't you find something… interesting?” Star asked. The animal frowned. “Argoo…” it said sadly. “Yeah, sad eyes aren't going to work on me.” The animal frowned even more. “Still not working.” The animal's frown faded. “Argoo!” it cried before it bit Star. Star leaped back in pain. “Oh, you stupid bastard!” he yelled. “Screw you!” he growled before he kicked the animal. And hurt his hoof. “Holy crap, are you made of metal?!” Star yelled as he shook his hoof in pain. The animal growled angrily and lashed out at Star. Star leaped back and pulled out his multi-tool. “I'll have you-’ The animal swiped away the multi-tool and rammed into the babbling stallion. “Star, you'd make a grade A zookeeper,” Eon said. “By the way, this is so your fault.” “Get off of me!” Star said as he threw several right hooks to the animal's less durable face. “Also, you're not helping, Eon!” Star said as he finally hurled the animal off of himself. “I'm not trying to,” Eon replied. “Don't care,” Star said as he levitated his multi-tool over to himself. He switched the boltcaster function on and aimed it at the rampaging animal. “I wish I was good at making one-” The animal swiped the multi-tool away again. “Star, stop pretending you're in a movie and just shoot the fucking thing.” “You never let me have fun,” Star said as his horn lit up. He fired off a powerful magic bolt at the animal, which struck its head. The animal recoiled in pain. It staggered back and glared angrily at Star before it ran off. Star let out a sigh of relief. “That was too close,” he said. “Your shields never went below ninety percent,” Eon said. “That said, that as entirely your fault.” “Yeah, yeah,” Star said as he waved his hoof. He levitated his multi-tool back over and put it in his holster. “Okay, now, where was I going?” “You detected a small structure and for some reason didn't just fly to it as you said you would after nearly freezing a few planets back.” Star facehoofed. “Right, forgot about that,” he said. “Oh well, no point in turning back.” “Your ship is less than fifty feet behind us.” “Eon, let me do this my way.” “Fine.” “Wonderful!” Star exclaimed as he made his way to the small structure with forced glee. A short while, Star and best friend for life—Eon—arrived at the structure. “It looks like my dream house,” Star said as he approached the structure. “Your dream house was a one floor shack?” “I never had much ambition when I was a colt,” Star said as he entered the structure/shack. “Oh… for Celestia's sake,” he said. Inside was a four-winged creature. Its back was bright green, while the rest of it was a light brown. It had a small, red beak, and it's wings resembled a dragonfly’s. Star took out his multi-tool and scanned the winged creature. Cocledalmum Ueorgitat Temperament: Ambulatory Diet: Oxide elements Weight: 94.08kg Height: 1.14m “Wait, didn't I just find this thing?” Star asked. “Why could I scan it again?” “Maybe it’s in a different stage of its life,” Eon said. “So, this thing loses its wings as it gets older?” “I dunno,” Eon said. “For all I know, it's another gender. I wouldn't know since a certain unicorn never bothers to check that after he scans an animal.” Star pulled out his multi-tool and reviewed the information. “It says 'Prime’,” he said. “I don't know what the hell that means and I don't really care.” Star walked pass the animal and searched the shelves. “Argoo,” the animal said. It nudged Star and looked up at him. “Hey, Star, the animal has something near it.” Star let out a heavy sigh. “What?” he asked with a hint of anger. The animal brought over a blueprint and dropped it near Star. Star picked it up. “Suspension Fluid,’ he said. “Wow, an animal actually did something useful for once,” he said with a chuckle. Star out the blueprint away walked out of the shack. The animal ran up to Star’s side and nudged Star. “What do you want?” Star asked, now agitated again. The animal pointed to its mouth. “You want food?” The animal nodded. Star took out a bit of iron and gave it to the creature. “There. Bon appetit.” The animal smiled and began to eat. With that, Star continued his walk back to his ship. “Wow. Star, I'm shocked you didn't throw the iron at the little fellow's head.” “Same.” “Well, now that you have the Suspension Fluid blueprint, what are you going to do?” “It's still bright out,” Star said. “I think I'll explore a bit before I grab the stuff I need to make a warp cell.” “Well, my sensors have detected another building close by.” Star rolled his eyes. “Yay, another building,” he said blandly. “Oh, show some enthusiasm you buzz kill.” “Fine.” Star cleared his throat. “Oh boy, another building! Isn't this is just the most super, spectacular, most exciting thing ever, Eon?!” he asked in a high pitched, overly excitable voice. “Please never do that again. Thank you,” Eon said. “Why not?” Star asked as he made his way towards the building. “You wanted me to show more enthusiasm!” “Yeah,” Eon said. “Genuine enthusiasm.” “Too bad,” Star said. “Take it or leave it.” “I'll pass on it.” “Goodie!” Star said as he approached the building—which looked like something out of a horror movie with broken windows and the door looked as though it wasn't even connected to anything. “If I walk in there, why do I feel like something's going to come out with me?” “You mean like a ghost?” “Yeah, like a ghost,” Star answered as he walked up to the building. He nudged the door open. Which made it fall down. “Well, glad to see whoever owned this place kept it in tip-top shape,” Star said as he entered the building. The inside was dark and frigid. The walls had scratch marks and on them, and a numerous half eaten animals lay around. “Oh, that's just… unpleasant,” Star said as he walked passed one of the animal corpses. “I think I'm going to need brain bleach when I leave here.” “What do you think lived here?” Eon asked. “Carl the Gek.” “I was expecting a serious answer,” Eon said. “Serves me right for expecting so much.” “What? I gave you a serious answer.” “I'm not going to argue,” Eon said. “Just keep looking.” Star rolled his eyes and entered a room with a destroyed terminal, shredded pieces of paper, and a single, crumpled up blueprint. “I guess they really hated doing their homework,” he said as he walked up to the blueprint. He picked it up and read it. “Toxic protection? Whoopty-doo.” “And the day you land on a planet where the very air is toxic, you'll be thankful for that.” “Yeah, I know,” Star said as he approached the terminal. “Geez, what happened-” Thud! Before Star could finish his sentence, something slammed down onto the floor down the hall. A loud growl could be heard, followed by several heavy stomps. Star's blood ran cold. “Is something there?” he asked as he shivered in fear. “Yeah, it's called an animal you numbskull,” Eon said. “It probably took up residence here when whoever lived here died.” “Uhhh… does that mean it's a meat eater?” Star asked. “Probably,” Eon answered. “It would explain the dead bodies.” “You seem really cool about this.” “Star, you seem to forget I'm an AI a lot,” Eon said. “By the way, I've detected movement right behind you. Say hi to Fluffy for me!” Star spun around. Standing in the doorway was a green skinned animal with gold stripes going around its body. Six feathers stood up on its back, and two horns arched back on its head. It also had a spike on its nose. And it looked at Star with one thought on its mind. I'm going to have a feast tonight! With that thought—and other thoughts about what spices to use—the creature lunged at Star with hunger-filled eyes. Star dove out of the way as the creature slammed into the damaged terminal. “Hah, sucker!” he said as he levitated his multi-tool to himself and slammed it against the animal's head repeatedly. After a few brutal strikes, he ran out of the room with speed rivaled only by a moped. The creature shook off the strikes as though they were simple pokes with sporks and spun around; a look of fury on its face. It ran out of the room and charged towards Star Star ran down the hallway when he felt something bite down on his left hind leg. “Son of a bitch!” he yelled as he fell down. He turned around to see the creature attempt to pierce his spacesuit. Star levitated his multi-tool out and slammed it against the animal's head. “Die you ugly piece of crap!” Star yelled as he slammed the multi-tool upside the animal's neck. SNAP! The creature fell forward dead. Star stood up and took a few deep breaths before he kicked it again. “Star, I'm pretty sure it's dead.” “Are you sure?” “It's neck now resembles a slinky.” “I'm still not convinced it's dead.” “It's head looks like it was hit with a meat tenderizer dozens of times.” “Okay, fair enough,” Star said as he walked towards the front door. “Though I'm just gonna say: I was never scared.” “Yeah, sure,” Eon said. “Let me file that under 'things that are total bullshit’.” “I wasn't!” Star said as he walked back to his ship. “Seriously, I wasn't!” “Sure you weren't,” Eon said. “And I'm really Princess Cadence.” Star rolled his eyes. He popped the hatch to his ship and hopped in. “I was only running because I didn't want to get eaten.” He turned his ship on and took off. “I'm just screwing with you, Star,” Eon said. “Take a joke for once.” “Fine, mom,” Star said as he flew towards the edge of a cliff that overlooked the sea. He landed and lay back in his seat. “Now, see you tomorrow.” “Going to sleep already?” “Dealing with animals takes a lot out of me,” Star said. “Besides, if we're lucky, the pirates will be gone tomorrow, and we can leave.” “If they aren't?” “Then we stay.” “Okay, boss-man.” Star chuckled at the name before he drifted off to sleep. Author's Note Sorry this took so long! I'd wanted to finish it days ago, but I had trouble with making the wildlife encounters fun. Lesson learned: keep those moments seldom.
Lucky StarStar Chaser slept peacefully in his ship. Crash! That is, until a pirates ship crashed into the ground nearby. Boom! And exploded. “Sweet Celestia, what the fuck was that?!” Star asked as he bolted up and frantically looked around. “Is the sky falling?” “Close,” Eon said. “I’ve detected a bunch of ships fighting above. It's been a very harsh battle, and shows no signs of letting up!” Star looked at the nearby fiery wreckage and cringed. “Thanks, weatherman Eon,” Star said as he finally calmed down. “So, does this mean I can't leave?” “Well, you could try to,” Eon said, “but you never made any warp cells yesterday.” “Well, after I make one?” “There's an eighty-six percent chance that you'll be shot down and die a horrible, fiery death,” Eon said. “There's also a ten percent chance you'll die once you reach space, as there are also pirates there, but they're busy trying to board space freighters.” “So, I have a four percent chance of surviving?” “More like three percent. There's a one percent chance you'll die from an asteroid hitting you!” “So, from what I've gathered: the odds are in my favor?” “Definitely,” Eon said. “They're totally, one hundred percent in your favor.” Star popped his ship's hatch and hopped out. “Well, what am I waiting for? Time to get to work!” he said as he shut the hatch and made his way towards a meadow. “Star, are you feeling okay?” “Fuck no!” Star answered. “I'm terrified! I'm just masking it behind false happiness,” he said as he fired off his mining laser at a nearby plant. “That said, I feel great. I got a mostly peaceful sleep.” “Did you dream wonderful things?” “I dreamt of Princess Luna and King Sombra dancing to the Macarena.” “That's… interesting,” Eon said. “Any reason why?” “Nope.” “Are you sure?” “Nope,” Star answered as he finished mining another plant. “That's enough Carbon, right?” “You have enough to make five Suspension Fluids,” Eon said. “That said, yes. That's enough.” “Alrighty,” Star said as he began to make the item. Boom! Star let out a sigh. Up ahead, another ship came crashing down in a hunk of fiery, twisted metal. “Eon, please tell me this won't last all day.” “It's probably going to last all day.” Star bit his lower lip as he continued to make the fluid and, after the longest minute of crafting ever, he finished it. “Finally!” he said. “Now, to make the Electron Vapor!” Star looked through his inventory and frowned. “Eon, where did all of my plutonium go?” “You used it all.” “When?” “You use it when you're not paying attention,” Eon said. “Which is nearly all the damn time.” “Oh,” Star said. “Well, guess I better go find some plutonium.” “Uhhh… no kidding?” “Listen, talking like somepony is actually listening helps keep me calm,” Star said as he trotted over to a vein of plutonium. “It makes me feel like somepony actually gives a crap.” “Yeah, well, nopony does.” “I know,” Star said as he mined the plutonium. “Thanks for reminding me.” “Aww, there, there” Eon said. “Maybe there's an animal somewhere that thinks your rambling is worth something.” “Like a dog?” “Star, I feel like you'd be the only pony who could get a dog to not care about you.” “I disagree,” Star said as he finished mining the plutonium. “I grew up with dogs. They loved me!” “I feel like I should say you're full of crap,” Eon said, “but I can't help but find the thought of you as a foal playing with a dog oddly cute.” Star stopped in his tracks. “I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Okay?” “Good idea,” Eon replied. “How about we change the topic?” “Okay,” Star said. “Have i ever told you the time I got visited by the 'Ponies in Black'?” “That urban myth about Celestia having agents who intimidate pony's into saying they didn't see something they'd deem harmful to society?” Eon asked. “Oh, come on. You're kidding.” “I'm serious!” Star said as he mined another vein of plutonium. “They knocked on my door and asked to come inside. I was living on my own and was terrified. They wore all black and had these slick, black shades. They were both unicorns and never smiled.” “Y’know, I'll regret this,” Eon said, “but go on. I need to know how this ends.” “Well, I asked why they were here. One said they had an urgent matter to discuss with me,” Star said as he went to another vein. “Naturally, I asked what they wanted to discuss with me. One said that I hadn't seen something important, and that I had never seen it. “I asked what they were talking about, and the other unicorn told me to stop playing stupid. I—again—asked him what they were talking about, and insisted I had no idea who they were. That's when they told me they were from the IRS,” Star said. “They told me I was being audited.” “Did they tell you that you'd seen no UFOs before they left?” “Sort of,” Star said. “They said they were going to take away my model UFO, and that I'd probably never see it again.” “Well, the joke's on them,” Eon said. “You have your own spaceship now.” “And they took my stuff.” “I feel we should've said what the other said,” Eon remarked. “Too late now,” Star replied. “Also. Time to make the vapor!” Boom! Star let out a sigh of aggravation. “Come on,” he said under his breath. He began to make the vapor when another explosion came from not too far away. His right eye twitched as he saw pieces of fiery metal crash to the ground. “I enjoy watching dogfights, but I'm usually seeing them in a movie,” “What about when you're participating in them?” “I hate them,” Star said as he finished the vapor. “Well, now I've just got to make the antimatter.” He scanned the area and smiled. “Zinc and Heridium nearby? It must be my birthday!” “Does this mean I can give you a gift?” “Do I dare ask what you got me?” CRASH! A ship came crashing down in front of Star, crushing the flora in front of him, before exploding, which made the explorer duck out of the way. “A new ship,” Eon said. Star got back up and looked at the scorched flora. His right eye twitched as he grit his teeth. “Come on!” he yelled as he repeatedly stomped his hoof on the ground. “You realize there's probably a few flowers that weren't burnt, right?” Eon asked. Star sighed and scanned the area. Sure enough, a single flower remained. He ran over and picked it. “Haha! Now for the Heridium!” Star said as he made his way over the pillar of the mineral “This is the happiest I've ever seen you when it comes to mining,” Eon said. “Fake happiness or not.” “That scares me,” Star said as he approached the massive pillar. “This scares me even more.” “You know you don't have to mine the entire thing, right?” “Yeah, but that's still a big pillar.” “It's maybe four feet bigger than the last one you mined from.” “Eon, stop trying to calm me down. It won't work,” Star said as he mined from the pillar. “Fine,” Eon said. “Drama queen.” “My sister called me that all the time,” Star said. “You remind me of her. You just show five hundred percent less affection.” “Your sister sounds like she's a smart mare,” Eon said. “Can I meet her when we get back to Equus?” “Sure,” Star said. “You two can talk about how AI’s are evil!” “On second thought… I'll pass.” “Thought so,” Star said as he finished mining the Heridium. “Alright now to-” Boom! Star flinched. Just ignore the noise and make the damn thing. Kaboom! Just. Ignore. It. VWOOM! Star let out a high pitched shriek and jumped in fear. He looked around and saw another ship come crashing down and send up a tsunami of dirt—though significantly smaller than the one the space freighter caused. That's when a thought hit him. “Why am I still out here?” “Because you have the IQ of a Dung Beetle.” “I think you're insulting Dung Beetles,” Star said as he watched another ship come crashing down. A few shards of flaming metal narrowly missed the awestruck explorer, who finally ran away from the chaos. “I mean, they at least use the galaxy to navigate!” “I'm amazed you know this,” Eon said. “I would've expected you to say I had the IQ of a peanut.” “Okay, first of all, I was fascinated by insects as a foal,” Star said as he teleported ahead. Behind him, he could hear another ship explode. “Second of all, you have the IQ of a coconut. Don't insult peanuts.” “You're not my mother,” Eon said in as sarcastic of a voice as an AI could possibly make. “If I was your mother, I would've put you up for adoption,” Star said as he neared his ship. “Oh, that stung,” Eon said. “Either that or I'm going to short out soon.” Star teleported to his ship's side and popped the hatch. “Save it for later,” he said as he hopped in. He shut the hatch and started his ship up. “For now, let's get out of here.” “And the antimatter? Or the warp cell?” Star flew up and began to break through the planet's atmosphere. “I'll do that now!” he said. “Uhhh… Star?” “Lemme guess,” Star said. “Pirates”? “No,” Eon said. “You're about to fly into an asteroid.” Star's eyes shot open. In front of him was a several hundred foot wide asteroid. “Oh… balls,” he said. He aimed his photon cannon at the massive space rock and fired at it, which made a large enough hole in it for the explorer to fly through. Behind him, the massive rock got pulled into the planet's gravitational pull. Star let out a heavy sigh and went back to making the antimatter. “This goes there and… tada!” “Now, make that warp cell before the pirates detect you.” Star immediately got to work on the warp cell… When he realized something. “I need more thamium 9…” “Good going.” Star sighed as he flew towards a few meteors. He fired his photon cannons at them and mined a bit of the mineral. “Okay, finally!” he said as he rested his head on the steering wheel. “Star, I've detected a hostile scan.” “Shut up, Eon.” “Star, I'm serious.” “Please, shoot me.” “I've detected another scan.” Star grabbed the antimatter and hastily put together a warp cell. “There!” “Star, that looks like you use a glue stick, tape, and a can of spray paint.” “It'll work!” Star snapped back. He out the warp core in and smiled as he activated his galactic map. “Okay, now to our next destination!” As the duo warped to the new star system, a few pirates appeared and crashed into a space freighter.
A Wolf in Star's ClothingAuthor's Note While I said that I wanted every chapter to be a planet that I've explored, this isn't one... though, there have been planets like it. Regardless, tell me what you thought! If you'd all like, I'll do more similar to it every now and then! Also, once more, I'm extremely sorry this story hasn't had as fast of an output as it did. A Wolf in Star's Clothing “Hey, Eon,” Star Chaser said as he lay back in his seat. “Do you think that, somewhere in this galaxy, there are giant worms made of candy?” “What makes you ask that?” Eon asked. “I’m just really bored and wanted to ask something fun,” Star said. “Warping to new star systems isn't as fun as daydreaming.” “So, you're terrified of animals, but daydream about them,” Eon said. “Makes sense.” “Hey, they can't hurt me in a daydream,” Star said as he arrived in the new star system. “True,” Eon said. “Though something tells me you'd still scream like a baby if you a saw a worm made of candy.” “Sadly, you're most likely right ,” Star said as he sat up and grabbed the steering wheel. “Anyway- Oh, sweet Celestia!” “What's wrong, Star?” “That… star is ridiculously bright,” Star said as he attempted to shield his eyes. “Is it about to supernova?” Not too far away was a star that had “Well, it's in the final stage of its life,” Eon said. “It's known as a Wolf-Rayet Star. It's completely lost its outer hydrogen, and is now fusing other elements in its core. Didn't you learn about this in the academy?” “You expected me to pay attention when discussing giant balls of plasma?” “Well, just know that this thing is tearing itself apart and could explode at any second,” Eon said. “So I would advise getting out of here as soon as possible. Especially since there's no way of knowing how close to it is to death.” “Why didn't my galactic map alert me that I was about to warp to a ticking time bomb!?” Star shrieked. “Because you were in a rush to get away from a bunch of space pirates,” Eon said. “Now, rather than waste time dilly dallying, how about to get yourself a warp cell and get out of here before you're turned into ashes.” “Ah, how lovely,” Star asked as he made his way towards a nearby planet as the Wolf-Rayet star's stellar winds blew viciously nearby. “So, is there any way you could predict when this thing will explode?” “Not really,” Eon said. “It could explode in five minutes or five hundred years.” “Crap,” Star muttered. “The idea of being so close to a supernova is something I really don't want on my mind.” “Yeah, well, that's too bad,” Eon said. “You warped here and now you're stuck here until you can warp out of here.” Star let out a sigh. “Okay, well, can you at least tell me where I am?” he asked as he flew towards a large planet. “Uhh… well, now that you mention it, I can't find anything on this star system,” Eon said. “So, I guess that makes you the discoverer of this little system.” “Oh, how wonderful,” Star said sarcastically as he begins his descent through the planet's atmosphere, which brought into view a dry, lifeless surface with brick-colored dirt and dried trees. “How about you name it 'Turn Back or You'll Die’!” “Will do,” Eon said. “Want to upload it to the Atlas?” “I wasn't serious!” Star said. “But, since it's too late, sure.” “Think before you speak.” “Yes, I know,” Star said as he landed his ship on the parched land. “Geez, this place is depressing to look at,” he said as he popped his ship's hatch and hopped out. “What's the temperature here?” he asked as he shut the hatch. “Ninety seven degree fahrenheit,” Eon said. “I'm unsure as to why it looks like the love child of Venus and Mars though.” Star looked up at the sky, which was clear, and a sickly yellow. The nearby star shined blindingly bright. “Is there any radiation here?” he asked as he walked towards a dried tree. “Negative,” Eon said. “Aside from the fact the entire planet appears to be devoid of flora and fauna, there's nothing abnormal about its atmosphere.” Star aimed his multi-tool at the dead tree and fired the mining laser at it. “So, you're telling me that that star is probably the cause of the planet's gloomy appearance?” he asked. “Or is it another planet with dust storms from Tartarus?” “I don't think so,” Eon said. “I think it's got to do with the fact that the home star had an incredibly high surface temperature. There are also numerous other possibilities, such as a gamma ray burst or an asteroid impact.” “Or an alien invasion,” Star said as he approached another nearby tree. “Or perhaps I got piss drink and invaded myself.” “Star, there are three issues with that last theory of yours,” Eon said. ‘One, you don't drink. Two, if you ever invaded a planet, I'd cut your oxygen supply off—even if it meant I'd be stuck looking at dirt for the rest of my nonexistent life. Third, you're too incompetent to plan out a full-scale invasion of a refrigerator, let alone a planet.” “Hey, I was just trying to be funny,” Star said as he moved onto a pillar of Heridium. “But, since you want to be a buzz kill, how about we discuss something else?” “Okay,” Eon said. “How about we discuss the fact that you gave enough carbon to last several star systems, and that you have no zinc?” Star's right eye twitched. “Son of a bitch,” he grumbled. “Fine, I'll mine it the old way!” Star quickly made a suspension fluid and placed it in his inventory. “Alright, where would one find zinc underground?” “Uhhh… underground?” “Yeah, but where specifically?” “Star,” Eon said calmly. “Just use that grenade launcher on your damn tool and find some zinc.” “I meant how far down!” Star said as he launched an explosive at the ground next to him. “You don't have to be such a dick about it.” “Star, you kept asking 'where’,” Eon said as Star fired off several more explosives. “Not 'how far down’.” “Well, excuse me!” Star leaped down the hole he'd made and landed at the bottom. “I'm under a lot of pressure, what with the possibility of being made into a nice, crispy unicorn treat from a nearby time bomb a million of times bigger than my home planet!” “And whose fault is it for not-” “Eon, the damn thing didn't tell me that the star here was a Wolf-Rayet star!” Star snapped. “Now, let me find some zinc in peace!” “Well, looks like I touched a nerve,” Eon said. “I’m sorry.” Star approached a deposit of zinc and began to mine it. “You can't always expect me to not make mistakes,” he said. “I'm not perfect.” “Yes, Star, I understand that,” Eon said. “However, you're so reckless with your actions that it genuinely amazes me you haven't died yet from pissing off the wrong animal or alien!” “Truthfully, it amazes me too,” Star said. “However, allow me to ask: how am I supposed to know what a Gek is saying to me if I don't understand them? Sure, there are those knowledge stones, but prior to that?” “You can always try to read their movements.” “I didn't take anything on psychology in school,” Star said. “As far as I'm concerned: the only reason I'd read someone's body language is if I were curious if they were into me.” “The amazing Star Chaser!” Eon exclaimed. “He won't pay attention if someone's ready to punch his lights out!” “Pretty much,” Star said as he mined some more zinc. He fired off a few explosives and walked towards the newly formed pathway. “I will, however, pay attention if someone's offering me enough units to buy several electronics!” “Star, if your priorities were any less in order, I'm pretty sure that I'd self destruct.” “Then I'll never tell you my priorities for tax day!” Star exclaimed as he stopped mining. He opened his inventory and looked through the various minerals. “Okay, I believe that's everything I need.” “My sensors indicate that that is correct,” Eon said. “Would you like a gold star?” “Not necessary, Eon!” I'm already platinum,” Star said as he made an electron vapor. “If space pirates don't kill you, maybe your ego will,” Eon said. “I swear, it might have its own gravitational pull.” “My ex marefriend used to tell me that,” Star said as he made some antimatter. “Though, she swore a lot when she did so. Like, she'd swear so much that if you took a shot each time she did, you'd have alcohol poisoning within the first ten seconds.” “I would too if I was her,” Eon said. “For starters: I’d curse at myself for having decided to be relationship with you!” “Aren't you kind of in one with me already?” Star asked as he made a warp cell. “You are my AI after all.” “Yeah, but I didn't pick you,” Eon said. “I was assigned to you by some schmuck back on Equus.” “Well, it was the best thing that ever happened to us,” Star said as he made his way to where he'd entered from, and ascended up to the surface. “Wouldn't you agree?” “No.” “Buzz kill,” Star said as he walked back to his ship. “We totally make the greatest team ever.” “I think your definition of 'greatest’ is backwards,” Eon said. “Unless by greatest, you mean we make the most inefficient team since a corpse and a cockroach.” “Can I be the roach?” Star asked as he popped open his ship's hatch and hopped in. “No.” “Man, why can't I ever be the living thing?” “Because you'd give roaches a really bad name.” Star sighed and turned his ship on. “Fine, allow me to change the topic,” he said as he took off. “How far’s the Andromeda from here?” “Really far.” “How far is 'really far'?” “Well over a million light years.” “Can we go there?” “No.” “Lame!” Star said. “I wanted to go somewhere famous.” “What's the famous about the Andromeda?” Eon asked. “The fact that nopony has been there.” “It has a cool name,” Star replied as he broke through the planet's atmosphere. “I'm beginning to think that, if you find some cool, you automatically like it.” “You'd be right!” Star said as he maneuvered past a few a meteors and opened up his galactic map. “I pick this one!” “You sure it isn't another 'soon to go kablooey’ star?” “Nope!” Star said as he set it as his destination. “We’ll find out soon enough, though!” he said as he slammed a hoof on his warp drive. “Now, tell me when we arrive there. Until then, I'm gonna rest my eyes.” “You realize we'll be there in a few moments, right?” “Eon?” “Yes, Star?" “Shut the fuck up.”
Close Encounters of the Wild KindStar Chaser levitated a bolt into the hyperdrive. “Okay, I've just gotta put this here and…” The hyperdrive hummed to life and turned on. “Hey, you did it!” Eon said. “I'm shocked. You only screwed up twice.” “No thanks to you,” Star said. “Hey, I offered to help,” Eon said. “And you ignored me.” “Would you really have helped?” “Yes,” Eon said. “Because I'm hopeful to see you encounter more animals and cry when they try to eat you.” Star ignored the AI and grabbed the warp core. “Okay, now I just need to put this in,” he said. “Where does it go again?” “The hyperdrive.” “Yeah, but where in it?” “There's a frigging hole where you put it, Star,” Eon said. “I swear, your eyesight is on par with that of a bat.” Star rolled his eyes and looked for the hole. “Oh, it has a cap over it,” he said as he unsealed it. He skipped the warp core in and resealed it. “Okay, done!” “You realise you're going to need dozens upon dozens more of those, right?” “Unfortunately.” “You know how to make them, right?” “No,” Star said. “Every time I had to use these, I got them from a space station,” he said. “I’m going to guess it isn't easy?” “To be honest, no,” Eon said. “Considering your disdain for going out and getting resources, it'll be the most excruciating thing in the entire universe.” “I'm going to guess you'll enjoy every second of it?” “Why of course!” Star rolled his eyes once more and pulled up his galactic map. “Okay, let's see,” he said as he looked for a solar system he could jump to. “This one seems close enough.” He hit his hyperdrive function and sat back as he flew towards the system. “So, exactly why are we going to the center?” Eon asked. “Why not go back the way we came?” “Where is that?” Star asked. “We've gone from solar system to solar system with a complete disregard for direction.” “Well, I doubt Equus is at the center of it all.” “Look, I recall coming from the 'center of it all’.” “I don't think we did,” Eon said. “I think we came from the outer edge.” Star’s right eye twitched. He slammed his hooves onto his ship's steering wheel and yelled, “Damn it, Eon! I don't care what you think!” I will get home, even if it's the last thing I ever do!” “Um… okay,” Eon replied. “Didn't think you'd react so harshly.” Star closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Sorry,” he said after a few deep breaths. “Eh, I'm used to you throwing temper tantrums,” Eon said. “Just don't break your steering wheel. I don't think they sell those around here.” Star let out a sigh as the ship arrived at its destination. “So, where are we?” “Rodevuiutsi-Anu IX.” “Do any of these systems have normal names?” “Maybe one of them does,” Eon said. “But I don't think you have a say in what's normal since you're basically talking to air.” “Fair point,” Star said as he scanned the star system. A marker appeared on the ship's map that read, “abandon building.” Star turned the ship in that direction and activated the ship's pulse drive as he flew towards the planet. “You're oddly quiet, Star,” Eon said. “You aren't whining about the things I've said, and that's confusing me immensely.” “I'm just thinking about home,” Star said. “It's helped me ignore you.” “Right,” Eon said. “Is that why you ignored me completely while you replaced the hyperdrive?” “Yes,” Star said as the ship entered the planet's atmosphere. “There are other things, but they aren't important.” “You're behavior is concerning” Eon said. “Seriously, what's wrong?” “Nothing is wrong, Eon!” Star snapped. “Stop asking me that! Please!” “You can't do a damn thing about it!” Eon taunted. “I'm a part of your suit! So…hah!” Star let out a groan. He looked at the ship's map and sighed. “I have to fly another minute to get to the building.” “It’s only a minute,” Eon said. “Quit being a baby.” “But… I want to explore the planet! Wah!” “You're trying to hard to be annoying.” “If I keep it up, will you get annoyed?” “Don't you fucking dare.” Star snickered to himself. “Oh, you have me an idea.” “Ah, crap.” Star landed his ship near the building. He opened the hatch and hopped out of the ship. The entire planet appeared to be dusty, as though it hadn't rained in awhile. Several rock formations and dead trees were scattered about, and the sky had a brown/yellow color to it. “So what's this planet called?” He asked. “My sensors indicate it's called Nunelsestada,” Eon said. “It appears that there is fauna here! I can't wait for you to get attacked again.” “Oh, joy,” Star said as he approached the building. “Just what I needed. Animals.” He entered the building and looked around. A bizarre fungus covered a terminal, along with several parts of the wall, and numerous wires were exposed. A strange plant hung from the ceiling, and a red emergency light flashed. “O-kay, what in Celestia's name happened here?” Star asked. “It looks like something out of a horror movie.” “Maybe someone used too much plant food.” “For once, your theory isn't that bad,” Star said as he approached the terminal. To his surprise, it was still functional. “Think something in here will be of use?” “Are you sure you want to touch that?” Eon asked. “Despite everything I've said, I don't want to end up stuck in a planet for who knows how long. Or worse, with a fungal parasite possessed pony.” Star grimaced at the thought. “Ummm… ah-hah!” He turned around and took out his multi-tool. He aimed it At the plant and fired the mining laser at it. The beam sliced through the plant. “Score!” He exclaimed as he levitated the plant over to himself. He activated the terminal with the severed plant and tossed it aside. “Star, that was perhaps the one intelligent thing you've done around me,” Eon said. Star rolled his eyes as the terminal turned on. He approached it and glanced at the entry. “Is there anything on the weird plant thing?” Eon asked. “Because it's starting to creep me out.” “Nope,” Star said. “But there is a blueprint for a boltcaster!” “Great, a firearm for someone like you,“ Eon said. “Be quiet,” Star said. “Just remember: if I die, you're stuck staring at the dirt.” Star exited the building when he came face to leg with one of his greatest fears. Wildlife. Star looked up. In front of him was a creature that resembled a Velociraptor, but with yellow feathers along it's arms and the top portion of its back. Its skin was beige, and it had brown spots all across its body. Its feet resembled a bird's, and it fingers were long, and resembled the talons of a small birds. The animal stared at Star, who took out his multi-tool and scanned the animal. Ockoideni Fileiur Temperament: Unpredictable Diet: Insect-eater Weight: 142.19 kg Height: 2.40m “Insect-eater?” Star asked. “Oh, that's not so-” Before he could finish his sentence, the creature charged at Star, and swiped at him “Yee-ow! Star yelled as stumbled back into the building. “Warning: Shields at seventy five percent,” Eon said. “Also, that thing is four feet taller than you. I think it might mistake you for an insect.” “Yeah, well, I'm going to show it-” The creature charged through the door, which sent rubble flying in all directions, and let out a ferocious roar. “Whotheapexpredatoris.” Star felt the roar shake him to his core. The creature set its sights on Star and growled. “Oh, fuck me,” he whimpered as he took out his multi-tool. “Die! Die!” He yelled as he fired the tools mining laser at its head. The creature swiped once more st Star, who was flung against the wall. “Oh, sweet Celestia, that hurt.” “Warning: shields at fifty percent,” Eon said. “Star, that thing might be too for you to handle,” he said. “Maybe you should just run.” Star ignored the AI and levitated the multi-tool back over to him. Only to get thrown against the wall again. “Warning: shields at twenty five percent.” “Maybe you're right,” Star said as he slowly stood back up. Star levitated the multi-tool over to himself and teleported to the hole that was once the entrance. The creature let out a ground shaking roar and ran after the unicorn. Star leaped up and, using his jetpack, reached higher ground. “Crap, where did I land?” “Several yards west “ Eon said. “By the way, you may want to run.” “Why?” “Because my sensors indicate that there is a path up here, and I believe that creature is going to arrive-” A familiar roar filled the air. “-very shortly.” “Oh, balls.” Star turned around and took several steps back. He took his multi-tool out and fired the mining laser off at the creature. The creature charged at Star, ignoring the laser as if it was nothing but a light slap. It slammed into the small unicorn and sent him flying back several feet. “Warning: shields down!” Star landed in the ground and looked up. His vision blurred as the creature stomped closer and closer. “Star, just get the hell out of here before you become dinner,” Eon said. Star stood up and levitated his multi-tool back over to him. He turned around and ran towards the building. He leaped across the opening and floated safely onto the roof. “Please tell me you aren't going to try and kill it,” Eon said. “Hell no!” Star replied. “I'm going to get to as high of ground as possible and run far, far away!” he said as he used his jetpack to get to the top of a cliff. Behind him, he could hear a loud crash, followed by an ear-piercing roar. Star turned around and looked down at the creature, which was wildly flailing through the rubble of the building. “Star, stop gawking at the creature and get out of here before its family shows up!” Star shook his head. “Sorry!” He said as he ran west. Across from the cliff, he could see his ship. Below, the creature—now with wounded from the rubble and wires inside the building—limped out of the building and let out another roar. It glanced up at Star and charged up the path. Star looked down. “Eon, I'm going to do something so royally stupid that I might die.” “You're going to try and reach your ship?” “Damn straight!” “You. Are. A. Fucking. Dumbass.” Star leaped off the cliff and floated towards his ship. “It's a lot less badass when you're safely floating towards it.” “You're still a dumbass.” “Yeah, I'll keep that in mind for the future.” “No you won't.” Star landed on the other side and glanced at the creature, which sported a look of pain on its face. Star frowned and ran towards his ship. He opened the hatch, hopped in, and started the ship up. “Star, I know it's not like me to ask, but are you okay?” “Yes, I am,” Star replied as he took off. “I appreciate your concern,” he said as he used his ships scanner. On his map, a waypoint for a manufacturing plant appeared. “Are you really going to head there after the beating you took?” Eon asked. “Your shields managed to save you from serious injury, let alone certain death, but I'm still detecting Some pretty nasty bruising.” “Thanks, Doctor Eon,” Star said with a small smile. “No, I'm going to land and sleep for the night, he continued as touched down next to a rock formation. “Star, while I may act like a royal dick to you, you should've just escaped rather than trying to play badass and killing that thing.” Star hopped the hatch to his ship and got out of it. “I know, Eon,” he said. “I fucked up, don't remind me.” Star staggered over next to a rock formation and looked up at the sky. The sun cast a bright, orange glow over the sky as it set. Star sighed and sat down near the rock. “You're like my parents rolled into one.” “You've never mentioned your father once to me,” Eon said. “How am I like him?” “So disapproving of my actions,” Star replied. “He would criticize everything I did. Be it the way I cooked or…” Star slumped down let out a sad sigh. “Okay, I'm not going to take 'no’ for an answer anymore,” Eon said. “Tell me what's wrong now.” “I told you earlier that everything is fine!” Star snapped. “Then tell me what else you did that father criticised.” Star tilted his head down and remained silent. “Come on, Star. Spit it out.” Star let out a heavy sigh. He swallowed a lump in his throat and wiped away tears that had formed in his eyes. “Fine, I'll tell you what's wrong,” he said. “The longer I'm out here,” he said as tears welled up in his eyes, “the more homesick I get.” “You said that your ex-marefriend hates you, as does your mom,” Eon said. “Exactly why are you homesick? Do you have a family member you do genuinely love and miss?” “Well, I have a sister and brother who I both hold dearly,” Star said. “I was never exactly close to them, but they were my closest friends growing up.” “What about your father?” Eon asked. “You said he criticized you. Do you maybe miss him for some arbitrary reason?” “He loathed the idea of me joining the space federation,” Star said. “He said I'd end up dying in space, and that the family would never be able to hold a proper funeral because my body would either burn up re-entering the atmosphere, or would be nonexistent because a ship I was piloting—or on—would crash and I'd be nothing but ash.” “Well, that's morbid,” Eon said. “Was he always like that?” “No, I actually hung out with him more than my mother,” Star said. “But he'd always try to sway me away from going into space,” he said. “He'd point out every single accident and say that that could be me when I enter. A body amongst a bunch of burnt, twisted metal.” “Did he have any specific reason for hating the federation?” “I think he just hated the idea of going into space, and exploring new words. I don't know for sure though,” Star said. “For all I know, a friend of his or close family member died when they were in it. I never bothered to ask because I was afraid he'd get angry at me for asking.” “What'd they say when you finally entered?” “My mom didn't care, my dad was livid and broke a table in anger, my brother was neutral about it, and my sister was quiet. She never said a word to me,” Star said. “I just took their criticism and stuck to my guns. I wanted to fulfill my dream.” “You seem to have handled this really well,” Eon said. “I'm genuinely shocked considering how reckless you were with the Gek.” “I've often wondered if I just act that way as a means of hiding my sadness,” Star said. “You're the only thing that I can talk to since you were made to understand Equestrian. And considering how you've acted towards me…” “Star, I told you that I was programmed to act that way around ponies who act like raging jackasses,” Eon said. “Of course, you could've always acted like this and maybe I never would've been so cruel to you.” “Honestly, it was kind of nice. It felt like a way to blow off some steam.” “Because the countless animals you killed wasn't?” “There's a difference between defending myself from an animal with teeth big enough to go through my entire body vertically and yelling at someone who i can actually understand.” “Fair point.” Star smiled. He looked back up at the how star-filled sky as a gentle breeze brushed against him and blew up a bit of dust. “The planet is peaceful, even if it’s… barren,” he said. “It kind of reminds me of home in a way. We had this nice, cozy home near a river. It was so quiet and tranquil. It was like something out if a fairy tale. Well, with the exception of my mother, but she finally found help for her anger issues after several years.” “Do you think your family believes you're dead?” “That's a thought I'd rather not have cross my mind,” Star said. “I've honestly forgotten how long I've been out here. These planets don't have the same orbit time—or day to night cycle—as Equus. That honestly makes me wonder if it's maybe been years back there.” “You know you don't age differently when on different planets, right?” “I know that,” Star said. “But still. The idea of having lost so many potential memories with them… it makes me sad.” “You wanted to explore new worlds,” Eon said. “You shouldn't be saddened that missed out on memories with your family. You brought it upon yourself since you pursued your dream.” Star looked at the ground and shed a tear. “I know,” he said softly. “And I regret it.” “Geez Star, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually hate seeing you like this more than when I see you as you normally are,” Eon said. “This is just depressing.” Star lifted his head up and looked up at the sky. Hundreds of stars now filled it and shined brightly. “I'm sorry,” he said. “I'll try my best to not let my emotions get the best of me.” “Honestly, Star, I… kind of respect you a little more,” Eon said. “It's nice knowing there's a side to you that isn't the obnoxious and arrogant dick that I've been stuck with this entire time.” “Thanks, Eon,” Star replied. “That actually means a lot to me.” Star let out a sigh and walked to his ship. “You're welcome.” Star opened the hatch to his ship. “Hey Eon?” He asked as he looked back up at the sky one last time. “Yes, Star?” “Do you think we’ll ever get back home?” Eon remained silent for a several seconds before finally saying, “I don't know.” Star hopped back into his ship. A large frown formed on his face and his eyes welled up with tears. He rested his forelegs on the ship's steering wheel and buried his face into them. “Are you okay, Star?” Eon asked. “I just want to go home!” Star replied as tears rolled down his face. “I miss them all so much!” Author's Note I decided to try to add some emotion to this chapter. Tell me what you thought!
