"Bubblegum or Minty toothpaste, Twist?"
"Bubblegum thoundsth fantathtic, Mitheth Colgate."
Colgate smirked underneath her dentist's mask. She loved the little filly's lisp. Even though her parents constantly urged Colgate to refer their daughter to an orthodontist to cure it, the requests were often ignored. Colgate secretly hoped Twist never outgrew her speech impediment. It was too adorable to fix. Also, she envied the lucky stallion that would soon court her small patient. It was a small fetish of the dentist's, speech problems.
"You're so polite, you know that?" Colgate reached for the flavored toothpaste and a pink toothbrush. The paste landed on the bristles with a small squelch. She levitated it above Twist's head with her horn, balancing it, making sure not to drop the paste on her curly-haired patient. "Alright, Twist, say Aaah."
The schoolfilly obeyed, straining her jaw as hard as she was able. The sweet aroma of peppermint lingered in the air as the dentist began to descend the brush into her mouth. Twist's mouth smelled like the inside of a pinata. Colgate gently began to clean her front teeth, and slowly made her way to her bicuspids. As she did, Twist yelped in pain. She winced. "That toof hurth, Mitheth Colgate." Colgate examined her mouth in deeper detail.
"Does this one hurt, Twist?" Colgate pressed the soft bristles onto another tooth.
"Yeth, Mitheth Colgate! Ouchie! Those have hurt for a while."
Colgate scowled. She hated this part of the job. She took the tiny mirror and placed it into the pained mouth. Yes, yes, These were all of the symptoms...
"Twist, listen to me." Colgate said in her sweetest voice possible. "How often do you brush your teeth?"
"I thwy evewy mowning, Mitheth Colgate, buth, my theeth hurth whenever I uthed the cold wather."
"Twist..." Colgate shook her head and sighed underneath her mask. "You have severe tooth decay. Plaque must've been gathering underneath your crowns and..."
"My crownth!? I don't have a crown on, Mitheth Colgate!"
Colgate giggled a bit, but then remember the seriousness of the matter. "Ahem. Not a king's type of crown, Twist. A crown on your tooth is the part of a tooth that is covered by enamel and projects beyond the gum line." She could see Twist was still confused, her light fushia eyes filling up her purple glasses. "The top of your teeth!" Twist's mouth made a circle and a understanding "OOOOOOOOOH!" came out.
"Now, as I was saying," Colgate continued. "Four of your teeth are extremely dec--I mean...'dirty.'" She used this euphemism, remembering she was only a schoolfilly. "The dirty teeth are infected your whole mouth, and that's why it hurts when you brush. So..." Colgate gulped at what she was about to say. "They need to be taken out."
Twist's eyes were now big lilac saucers. She put her hooves over her muzzles, as if Colgate had a disease. "No, Mitheth Colgate! Pleath, No!"
Colgate pressed the button on Twist's chair that summoned her boss to her station. Twist was now bawling out of fear. "Good Morning, Dr. 'Namel. She needs an extraction..." Colgate sputtered out, choking on her words.
"No I don't! Pleath, Mitheth Colgate! I don't need a ethracthion!"
"Thank you kindly, Ms. Romana. You may go home for the day. I can handle this one. Call the filly's parents and make them aware of the surgery." The green stallion waved off Colgate. She blushed and said "Y-yes, sir..." and trotted away, Twist's screams still echoing through her head.
Colgate reached her house in no time. It was only a few blocks away from the Ponyville Dentistry. Opening the door of the pale blue house, she huffed out a sigh of relief. The work-week was over. It was Friday. She didn't have to work again as a dental assistant until next week. She walked in an took off her white dental coat and slung it on the ground. Then she plopped down on her couch. She was still bummed about Twist's situation. That was Colgate's favorite patient. That sweet, precious filly would always bring her homemade peppermint sticks every time she passed by the dentistry. The curly redhead would always flash a smile, hand her the candies, and chime out with "Enthoy the thweeth, Mitheth Colgate." How could such a thing happen to such a innocent little schoolpony? And how does Dr 'Namel deal with things like this everyday? Twist's screechings were doing hell to Colgate's heartstrings.
Colgate sighed, slightly annoyed. "THERE'S NEVER ANYTHING ON TV!" She shouted, to no one in particular. It was just her in the house after all. She flipped through the channels a second time. Nothing on PTV. Cloudsdale Weather bored her. Canterlot Network's shows had been going downhill. She settled on the Fillydelphia Shopping Channel. It was jewelry day, apparently. On the screen was a goregeous mare with a ivory coat and dark purple mane. She was sporting a necklace decorated with a large red jewel. "This little darling I'm modeling was made my yours truly," She put her nose in the air. "And was inspired by a BEEEYOUTEEFUL gift from my Spikey-Wikey." The jewel-wearing snob gushed, gesturing to her prize. "This is the perfect accessory for a night on the town! Certianly nothing you'd put on if you were just going to mope around the house all day. But then again, who would do a silly thing like that? Ahahaha."
Colgate's ears perked up. "You're right, Ms. Salespony!" She stood up on her hind legs. "Why AM I just moping around the house?" She started towards the door. "I have better things to do!" She left the house, but soon returned to turn off the TV and close the door. "Thank you! Heehee." She whispered, imagining she was personally thanking the unicorn on TV.
Colgate was happily trotting to Sugarcube Corner. She wanted to pick up a cookie and perhaps strike up a conversation with her old friend, Cup Cake. She hadn't talk to her since her and Carrot Cake got married. On the way there, she passed a old hangout of hers: Tipsy Hooves.
She remembered the place all too well. The smoky aura coming from lone smokers throughout the joint. The horrifying sounds of vomitting echoing through the bathrooms. The seductive, tempting dancers trotting around. She knew it just spelled trouble.
Yet, she went in anyway.
It had been months since she last entered those double doors. The new layout of the area was unfamiliar to her. The stench, however, was not foreign.
Ponies she never expected to be in the bar were there. She saw the blonde-maned mailmare downing margaritas, her eyes more derped than usual. Next to her was her friend Lyra, cuddled up to her marefriend Bon Bon and cheering the drinker on. In front of the three was another familiar face. Berry Punch, the bartender. She was joining in on the cheering, pushing the blonde mare to her limit. Seconds later, the drinker passed out, hitting the bar floor with an unsettling thud.
"Ugh, drinking..." Colgate huffed out loud. She hadn't even touched alcohol before her senior year in high school, and even then she had enough sense to know it was trouble. She had never EVER been so drunk to pass out. Well, besides the time she was a bridesmaid in Princess Cadence and Shining Armor's royal wedding. Man that was a wild reception.
"Woohooooo! Yeah, Derpayy!" Lyra was clapping her hooves wildly, her words severely slurred. She must've been drunk as well.
Bon Bon pulled at her lover's mane. "How could you cheer her on? That's sick!"
"Aw, calm your mammory glands." Lyra picked up her beer bottle and took a swig. "We're just fucking around is all. Lighten up!" She pushed Bon Bon playfully, knocking her off her bar stool. Lyra didn't seem to notice, though.
"Let's go home, Ly. NOW." She got off the ground and started towards the exit. She walked a few meters and then turned, realizing Lyra wasn't following. "NOW!" Bon Bon ordered, now with her hooves on her hips. Still no response from her lover.
"Lyra M. Heartstrings, get over here this INSTANT!" Bon Bon demanded, sounding a lot like a child having a tantrum.
"Do I have to come and GET YOU? I said WE'RE LEAVING, LYRA!" She rushed over and grabbed Lyra's foreleg, pulling her towards the doors.
"I can walk, ya dumb bitch!" She laughed a little too loud. "Whatdaya think I am..." She hiccuped. "A foal?"
She awkwardly stumbled towards the double doors for a few seconds, then she faced a similar fate of Derpy's, and descended to the ground. Bon Bon shrieked.
"You see?! This is why...Oh, Lyra...Oh...look at you...I'mma go home Berry..." She waved at Berry. The bartender helped her friends up. Berry looked unmoved, used to drunk customers. "We have few stables in the back. They can crash there until their hangover ends." Berry gestured towards the opposite side of the bar, not even looking up from the surface she was wiping down.
Bon Bon nodded and grunted, dragging her companions to the stables. "Bless you, Berry."
With Bon Bon gone and the scene over, Colgate took this opportunity to say hello to her dear old friend. She hadn't seen her since their senior year spring break in Canterlot, when she discovered alcohol. That was around five years ago.
"Welcome to Tipsy Hooves. We don't have the key to the safe in this location," Berry said, reciting her harsh-toned, generic greeting. Her eyes were still on the bar she was scrubbing. Colgate, realizing Berry Punch wasn't going to greet her first, fiddled with her hooves. She gained an ounce of confidence and finally spoke.
"Hey there, Berry." She said under her breath, not sure how to say hello to her after witnessing such an act.
The bartender finally looked up. "Ro'! Damn, girl, how've ya been?!" Berry rustled her friend's mane a bit. "I didn't know you lived in Ponyville! How long have you been here?"
Colgate sat in silence, thinking over exactly what she was going to say to the plum-colored pony.
"Man, it's been what, five years? And you haven't changed a bit!" She hugged the blue mare, then pulled back. "Wait a second," She looked her up and down. "Ro', what happened? I thought you were going to stay in Canterlot?"
Colgate was pretty new to Ponyville. She only moved to the town a year ago, and even then she didn't go out much. She had no idea Berry lived in Ponyville, or even that Berry was still alive. Berry was an over-the-top kinda mare who would grab life by the balls and squish them like grapes. She was a tough cookie, and was always looking for a fight. In laypony's terms, she was the exact opposite of Colgate. Colgate assumed Berry would've been killed in a drunken skydiving trip gone wrong or midair collision with a 2000 foot fire-breathing dragon with laser eyes. She was just that badass.
"I was originally planning to," Colgate began to explain. "But umm..." She hesitated. The two hadn't seen each other in years. Why should she tell her the entire story?
"...The stuck-up ponies really started to bug me."Colgate finally spat out.
"Haha, I know right?" Berry cracked-up hysterically. She went back to cleaning her work station. "Welp, welcome to my own little kingdom, Tipsy Hooves!"
Colgate blinked. "Do you own this entire bar?" Berry nodded, beaming with pride. Then the bartender sighed and looked around.
"So, Ro', why are you in here?" She looked at Colgate and wiggled her eyebrows. "Back to drinkin', eh? I knew you'd come around."
Colgate immediately shook her head. "No, no. I told you. I don't associate with that...uck." She gagged just thinking about having a glass. "Also, everypony else calls me Colgate, Berry."
Berry scoffed. "Pssssh. I'm not errypony! I'mma call you Romana..." Berry laughed again. "Minuette...Menta...Whatever the fuck your real name is!" Berry stared at her. "Why do they call you Colgate anyway?"
Colgate blushed at the mention of her real name. She hated being called Minuette. It was an ugly name that she didn't want to be affiliated with. "Oh...umm...I work at Ponyville Dentistry."
For some reason, Berry found that funny as well. "Uh-huh. Suuure."
"What do you mean?" Colgate said, becoming defensive.
"Perhaps it's because you TASTE like Colgate brand toothpaste? Hmm?"
Colgate's cheeks became as red as a cherry. She had never thought of it in such a derogatory way. Minuette didn't seem so bad anymore. "I do not! A-at least I don't think...I mean...maybe after working I may--" Colgate paused.
Is Berry...? Eww! No way!
"Berry, are you...a-are you..L-"
"Like almost everypony else in this bar? Haha. Sure am."
Colgate gasped. She wasn't a homophobe, but you'd never see her trotting about in a gay pride parade either. She had nothing against couples like Lyra and Bon Bon. She always knew they were like that but...Berry? She was a stallion-addict in Canterlot. Always talking about her latest one-night-stand with anypony with some length between their legs. Sometimes her and her sister, Cheerilee, would have graphic discussions about every guy who'd past by their lunch table, seeing as they had slept with most of them.
Whoa, Berry was just flirting with me, wasn't she?
"Hey, close your mouth. You'll catch horseflies." Berry said, expecting Colgate's reaction. "I'm not a full on lesbian. I fool around with stallions too. Mares are just kinder and gentler. In more ways than one. Hehe."
"Something tells me that you and Cheerilee did a little expermenting while I was gone..." Colgate said, worry laced throughout every word.
"Me and Cheerilee?" Berry frowned, as if Colgate insulted her in the greatest way possible. "Trust me, I'm NEVER making that mistake again." She sighed. "Alcohol makes you do some strange things, Ro'."
What in Celestia's name happened to Berry?
"Irregardless," Berry said, not caring at all about her grammar. "I'm still the same ol' Berry."
Colgate ignored her awful mistake. "Still party every night, hm?"
"Nah, man. That's one change, actually." She said, surprising Colgate. "I don't party as much as I used to. That'd be stomping on Pinkie Pie's turf right there. Have you met up with that chick? Damn, girl can party! She's an animal, I tell you! Only pony who even stands a chance in a drinking contest with me." She sighed again, nostalgically. Then she pulled her self back together. "Ahem. Anyway, I really don't have much time to party lately. With Pinchy needing dinner on the table back at home--"
"Oooh. Who's Pinchy? New boytoy?"
"No, Romana, Pinchy's my foal." Berry said, glaring angrily at the light blue pony.
Okay, I REALLY don't know who I"m talking to.
"Y-your FOAL?!" Colgate stammered. "Whatever happened to 'Never-settling-down' Berry? or 'I-don't-want-no-damn-kids' Berry?"
Berry started to wash a few plates. "I never did settle down." She looked as if she was going to cry. "I really should've though. I got pregnant in the middle of college. Cheerilee wanted to help but...she needed her education...I dropped out and moved in with Pinchy's father. And...I..." She turned away, not wanting to show anypony her weakness.
Colgate was stunned. This wasn't Berry Punch. This was some other pony with her exact mane style, color, cutie mark and coat. It had to be. Berry Punch never cried.
"Berry...I didn't mean anything by--" Berry wouldn't turn. She was too busy sobbing.
"Hey, Hey, Berry!" Colgate imitated Berry's ballsy tone. "How's about you and me play Giggles? For old time's sake?"
Colgate hated Giggles. It was a game Berry introduced in their highschool years. The object of the game was to tell each other secrets about each other, and if anypony giggled, they had to drink a shot of alcohol. It went on until there was only one pony standing or until everypony was too drunk to care. Colgate never dared to play the demonic game. It was cruel and extremely personal. Nevertheless, Colgate was desperate. At this point, she would kill herself just to hear Berry's annoying chuckles again.
Berry's head did a 180. "D...Do ya really mean it?" A smile started to spark.
Colgate couldn't believe she she going to say it. "Yeah!" She said as enthusiastically as possible.
Berry giggled in glee. Still over the bar, She carefully poured some Canterlot's Best into as many shot glasses she could. She was able to fill up sixteen crystal cups to the brim. She motioned glasses in front on Colgate and eight in front of herself. Colgate gulped. She could remember it all vividly. Chanting and jeers ringing in from all directions. The pressure suffocating her as she picked up the cool bottle. The bitter taste colliding with her saliva, triggering her gag reflex. The eternity she waited for it to be over, even though it was only seconds long. The-
"HEY! RO'!" Berry waved a hoof in front of Colgate's face. "Snap outta it! Let's play!"
"R-right..." Colgate shivered, banishing the flashback to the back of her mind. "You going first?"
Berry shook her head. "Nah, man. I've been blabbing on about myself all evening. I wanna here about you."
Colgate nodded and thought about what she was going to say. She needed to say something unbelievable that would make Berry laugh 'till the cows come home.
"Did you know...I've been dating this stallion lately...?"
Berry's eyes widened. Then her hooves shot up to cover her mouth. She couldn't contain the laughter. She started to giggle. Then laugh. Then cackle with disbelief. "Y-you?! Colgate?! The stick in the mud? Ahahaha!" Her laughter was so irritatingly uncontrollable, other ponies began to stare.
Was it really that hard to believe? Am I really that introverted?
Berry noticed the stares from the other ponies. "Aha. Ha. Hm." She calmed down. "It's alright, everypony! Colgate here just told me a really good joke. Go back to doing what you do."
The other ponies continued to do whatever it was they were doing. Berry coughed. "Alright. That wasn't fair. You're lucky I like you." She took a shot to the head and gulped it own with no complaints. "Alright my turn. Did you know I recently took up pole-dancing?"
Colgate couldn't contain her laughter either. The image of Berry dancing on a pole was too hilarity-inducing. A quite unlucky pole in Colgate's opinion.
"Hahaha!" She laughed, and immediately regretted it. She cursed under her breath, told Berry to shut up, and slurped down a shot.
"That certainly is strong," Colgate said, not wanting to openly object to Berry's alcohol preference.
"Your turn!" Berry smiled.
Well at least she's not moping around like I was earlier today. I'm glad I could make her happy.
"Did you know this really is my natural mane color? Ugh. I hate it."
"Weeeak!" Berry taunted. "But I'll laugh just to humor you." She faked a laugh and swallowed another shot.
Maybe Berry just wants an excuse to drink?
"My turn!" She thought it over, then grinned deviously. "Okay, I got you with this one." Berry took a deep breath. "Did you know..." She gestured for Colgate to come closer. She obeyed and Berry started whisper in her floppy ear. "I've had a crush on you since 10th grade."
Colgate was now in a sticky situation. If Berry was joking and she laughed, she would have to drink. But if she was serious and she laughed, Berry would be hurt. If she didn't laugh and it was a joke, she'd be angry at her for ruining her fun. And if she didn't laugh and she was serious, it'd get pretty awkward.
"Shut up brain!" Colgate said out loud accidentally.
"What?" Berry said, not sure how to respond.
"Oh, nothing. Hahaha. You got me Berry." She chuckled.
Alcohol kills even the most tense of situations, right?
Berry sat silent for a minute, but then joined her friend laughing. Colgate took her obligated shot and the game went on.
Despite being the buzzkill she is, Colgate found almost everything Berry said funny. Even more so after she got a few drinks in her system. The opposite was to be said for Berry, who didn't care for Colgate's boring secrets. Soon enough, all eight of Colgate's shots were gone. Berry still had five left, but called off the game when her friend started to be noticeably drunk.
"You okay, Ro'?"
"The reeeeeal question is," Colgate hicupped and grabbed one of Berry's shot glasses. "Will YOU be?" She drank the shot and dropped the empty cup, the glass shattering all over the ground. "To Beeeeeeeeeeeee or NOT ta' beeeeee! That's a question too!"
It was way past midnight. The bar closed up hours ago. Everypony else gone, Berry was left with the mess to clean and Colgate. She looked at the clock on the wall over the exit. "Two fifty-two in the A.M." She looked down at the broken glass on the ground. "Maybe it's best you don't drink anymore."
"Oh, Berry Berry Berry Berry Berry Berry Berry Berry Berry Berry Berry Berry Berry BERRY!" She grabbed the mare's face. "You're shoooooo booooring! C'mon, Lemme make it an even 10!"
Berry dropped all of the shot glasses on the ground, all of them exploding in broken glass. "Oops. Guess there's no more. C'mon. You're too drunk to go home. You can stay in one of the stables in the back."
"No YOOOOU can stay in one of the tables ooooonn the rack!" Colgate sputtered. Berry hopped over the bar and landed just inches away from the broken glass. She reached for Colgate's hoof and held it with a tight grip. They started towards the stables, Colgate waddling behind. She often bumped into tables and corners, but Berry didn't care.
Finally at the stable, she swung Colgate down on a pile of hay. "That's your bed. You can shit in that bucket or throw up if you need to." Berry said, treating Colgate like a stranger. "I have to go clean up. See you when you're sober."
"NAAAAYOOOOOOOO! Shurely you're gunna stayyy!" Colgate begged, grabbing Berry's right hind leg. Berry shook her off and started to leave.
She was almost out of the room, when Colgate said something that caught her attention.
"What about what what shoo shaid?" Colgate started to get up, struggling to keep her balance.
"What are you talking about?" Berry asked.
"You shaid you..." Colgate hiccuped "You has a crush on me-ee-ee-ee!"
"Yeah..." Berry agreed, regretting saying it.
"Well..." Colgate touched noses with the bartender. "Don't tell me you were lying."
Berry then felt her lips touch Colgate's. Colgate kissed her in the sloppiest way possible, by Berry didn't mind. She was drunk, she expected her to be messy. She didn't, however, expect anything like this to occur. At first Berry was really into the kiss, carressing Colgate's soft fur as she held her. But after a while Berry remembered the situation and tensed up.
"Colgate..." Berry pushed the blue mare away. "I don't wanna take advantage of you."
Colgate, dazed and drunk as ever, barely understood Berry. "Well, only because you asked! Ehehehehehehehe." Colgate laid back on her temporary bed. She put her legs in the air. "Lookie here!"
Berry could clearly see Colgate's naughty bits. They were soaked with sweet anticipation, and it was obvious what Colgate wanted Berry to do. It was also obvious that Berry wanted to do it. She bit her lip uncomfortably. Colgate was willing, waiting! Why was Berry being so hesitant all of a sudden?
"I have stuff to do...Pinchy's alone with Cheerilee right now and I promised her a break..." Berry said, trying to fight her urges.
Colgate scowled. "You really have changed, Berry. You used to be fun."
Berry's eyebrows arched. "Oh yeah? Be back in a sec."
She left the stable and went to the payphone outside of the bar. She inserted two bits in the machine and dialed her house.
"Berry!!!" Cheerilee was furious. Berry could here giggles in the background. "Shhh! Guys! Where the hell are you?!"
"Hey there, Lee...I...ah...I have a lot to clean over here...So I won't be there till early this morning...maybe in the afternoon."
"I wish you would've said that earlier! Twilight was ticked about our cancelled date so she came over here and Pinchy won't sleep until she reads her ANOTHER GODDAMN STORY."
Twilight went to the phone. "I don't mind your daughter, Berry, really, but Pinchy's begging me to read Goodnight Moon Mare for the third time tonight...Me and Cheerilee were really hoping to go out tonight."
"I know, I know, and I'm sorry girls...but ah..." She looked back in the direction of the stables. Colgate was still in there, legs wide open and inviting, pleasure seeping from her deepest point. "There was a...a frat party! Yeah, yeah! A big, wild, frat party. And you know how college parties can be...heh."
"Y-yeah..." Cheerilee stammered out, believing Berry's lie. "Aw, alright. We can babysit a little longer. But only till morning! The weekend goes by fast, ya know."
"Yes, believe me, I know. Well goodnight, Lee. Tell Twilight and Pinchy I love them and I'll see em' in the morning. Bye." She hung up the phone.
"I FEEEEEEEEEEEEL! LIKE A VIIIIIIRGIN!" Colgate chimed out. She sang pretty well for being under the influence. "Ohhhh BERRY!" Berry trotted in. The dentist was still in the same position as before. "MY BODY IS READY!"
Berry gulped. She really didn't want to have sex with Colgate. Not like this, anyway. She wanted Colgate to consent, to want her, to feel the passio--
"HEY, BERRY! HURRY UP, WOULDJA?" She cried out.
Berry shook her head, abandoning the thought. Why wait?
She lowered herself between Colgate's legs. She smiled at the sight of Berry getting on top of her. Berry began kissing her neck passionately, and slowly worked her way down to her belly. "AHAHAHAHA! STOPPIT! That tickles!" Colgate 's legs kicked on either side of Berry's head. Berry laughed softly. She continued to kiss her until she got to her love.
Colgate was wetter than ever now, and Berry didn't wait a second to dive right in. She doved her snout inbetween her legs and began lapping at her folds. Colgate howled with delight. Colgate began grinding her hips in beat with Berry's licking. She also held Berry's head down closer to her body. These weren't voluntarily actions, they just sorta happened.
"This is...Oh Celestia...what is this?" Colgate let out another moan of pleasure but then shut her mouth almost immediately. She slowly began to climax, her legs shaking wildly. She was stifling it, not sure what was happening. This was the first time she ever orgasmed. She continued delaying it.
Berry could tell. "Just let it out..."She was grinning while thrusting her tongue.
Colgate opened her mouth, but what came out wasn't any orgasmic reaction Berry ever heard. Vomit spewed from Colgate's mouth and rained down onto Berry's mane. Berry stopped licking. She wasn't angry. She wasn't disgusted. She wasn't even blocking Colgate's puke. She just sat there and let it happen. Colgate turned away and continued to vomit, but into the bucket in the corner of the room.
Berry held the mare's hair out of the way of the stream of regurgitated food. "Just let it all out..." Berry said, patting Colgate on the back. Berry was used to being drunk, and she was used to seeing other ponies like this. She'd always give them their privacy. But Colgate...something about her made her stay.
Colgate passed out soon after. Berry sighed. She picked her up and placed her on the now damp hay bed. She got into the bed as well and closed her eyes. She looked at Colgate's motionless body.
"Just like old times, huh Ro'?"
