Stop being a Creep and Say Something

Tame mentally kicked himself for creeping around and stood up, holding his hands up to show he was unarmed. To his surprise, the pink colored mare was already facing him, her arms up in the classic ‘boo!’ pose and mouth partially open. They stared at each other, frozen in place, until Tame broke the tension and coughed into his fist.

“Uh...hello.” He grinned and held out his other hand to shake. “Sorry to startle you. I thought this place was abandoned.”

The mare held her pose, her eyes focusing on his hand for an uncomfortable amount of time, when she suddenly animated again. She smiled broadly, standing up straight and took Tame’s hand in both of her own. She shook his hand with a good deal more strength than he would have thought possible.

“Hey! I’m Pink! And not just the color either—it’s my name! But you can call me Pinkie, or Pinkie Pie, or Miss Pie, but that last one sounds like my mom, so you might not want to call me that—unless you’re into that sorta thing!” The mare laughed and hauled him across the island counter, pulling Tame into a bear hug. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen somepony else! I’ve been in here cooking and baking and mixing forever! Normally I just eat it all myself, but now that you’re here, I can share it!”

Tame yelped at the sudden movement, his eyes widening when he suddenly found himself buried face first in Pinkie’s pillowy soft cleavage. Her hug squeezed all the air out of him and for a brief second he wasn’t able to do much but struggle in her grip. There are worst ways to die...not sure I’d feel so bad about it if I kicked the bucket this way. No sooner than he’d finished the thought when Pinkie released him. Tame collapsed to the floor with all the grace of a sack of potatoes, gulping down air until he coughed and started to choke.

Apparently unconcerned, Pinkie turned away from the fallen monster tamer and skipped over to a nearby oven. “You’re in luck! I was just about to pull out a fresh batch of cookies, and they. Are. The. Best. When fresh from my oven!” She giggled again and wrapped her apron around her hand, yanking open the oven and reached in to pull out a long metallic pan.

Tame continued to hack and cough on the floor for a moment more until his breathing returned to normal. He picked himself back onto his hooves, opening his mouth to say something more when he noticed two things that caught the words in his throat. For one thing, Pinkie Pie was indeed wearing an apron and hat and nothing else. For a second thing, the mare didn’t have a tail like other ponies, but instead had a thick, pink, reptile-like tail with small black barbs that ran down it’s length. The scales blended seamlessly with her fur and there was a tuff of bouncy curls at the very end of the tail that matched her mane.

“Um...” Tame backed up a step, glancing around himself for a potential weapon. A few feet from him, a large cast iron pot with food crusted around the edge, sat on top of a pile of unwashed dishes. In the other direction, just out of reach was a hefty looking wooden rolling pin.

Author's Note

Go for the Iron Pot

Go for the Rolling Pin

Take a Cookie