Nurse Redheart The Receptionist

by TopHatFlavour

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Mr. Cake, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Thunderlane, Mayor Mare, Nurse Redheart, Roseluck
Length: 2658

Nurse Redheart takes up work as town hall receptionist. Needless to say, she doesn't enjoy it.

After being fired from Ponyville General Hospital and searching for a new line of work. Nurse Redheart gets a job working for Mayor Mare in the town hall. Turns out making a volitile ex-nurse deal with complaints and appointments all day long isn't the best idea. Now with a sequel!

Rated T for Redheart rage.

Published 2016-08-14 11:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-14 11:30:01 UTC

Chapter 1

It was a peaceful morning in Ponyville, the sun was shining, the birds were chirping and everypony was in a good mood, well most of them anyways.

Inside of Ponyville Hospital, Nurse Redheart sat across from the lead doctor who looked like he was still in the process of waking up. It had been mere moments ago when he had handed her a small envelope as she'd entered his office.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM BEING FIRED FOR MISCONDUCT!"

"Assaulting a patient on the grounds of looking at you menacingly is misconduct Red, you're lucky that Thunderlane doesn't want to press charges."

"I SHOULD BE THE ONE WHO CAN PRESS CHARGES, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK OF HATE IN HIS BEADY LITTLE EYES!"

"That's probably because you were standing directly on his oxygen hose." The doctor replied without a hint of sympathy for the nurse. "Look Red, you are officially no longer employed by the hospital so I'll have to ask you to leave."

"You know what? Buck you! Buck this hospital! Buck everyone in this hospital! I don't need this, I've got plenty of job opportunities other than this piss-hole!"

Redheart then promptly kicked the door open into a patients face and walked out of the hospital.

The doctor remained seated at the desk, now glancing over to the pony writhing on the ground clutching his now re-broken nose.

He took a swig of brandy from the flask hidden in his desk and sighed "It's way too damn early for this shit."

One Week Later

"Can you believe it Rosey! No one in this town is willing to hire a fully qualified and trained nurse!" Redheart exclaimed while gazing into the bottom of her cider mug.

"I'm pretty sure that's because everyone who runs a business in this town you've been mean to."

"That's not true! If you're so sure, name them!"

Roseluck stared at the former nurse in disbelief. "If you want me to name them all we'll be here all day but for a start there's Mr Cake. You literally said straight to his face that his wife was a whore and his kids probably weren't his."

Redheart spoke up to defend herself. "Well its probably true. They look nothing like him! Who else?"

"You called Lyra a psychotic narcissist with a human fetish, within earshot of Bon Bon."

"I was just saying what everyone was thinking." She replied sheepishly.

"And let's not forget the time you called the Apple family a bunch of inbred rednecks."

Redheart cringed "I've still got some bruises from those thrown apples. So what am I supposed to do? Move town to get a job?"

Roseluck thought for a moment before coming up with an idea. "How about the town hall, I'm pretty sure you haven't said anything derogatory about the Mayor."

"Oh that old bitch, she's off her rocker I'm telling you."

Roseluck facehoofed. "She's like 40 Red, as long as you never say that to her face, you'll probably get hired to work at the front desk or something."

"That's a brilliant idea! Why didn't I come up with that!" She shouted in glee.

"Probably because you're an ignorant bitch." Roseluck grumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, now come on, you've got a job to get."

Redheart bolted off her barstool and out the door.

"You know somepony's gotta pay for those drinks." Berry Punch piped up.

Roseluck whined. "Celestia damnit that's the third time this week!"

10 Minutes Later : Inside The Mayors Office

The Mayor shuffled some papers on her desk and stared longingly at the clock. "I swear that clock gets slower everyday." she said with a sigh of despair.

Three sharp knocks sounded on the office door.

"Come in. Ah Nurse Redheart, what do you need this time."

"I need a job Mayor."

The mare looked at her quizzically. "but you've got a job, you're a nurse."

"Not until I was wrongfully accused of assaulting a patient when I was only trying to protect the hospital from his wrath!"

The Mayor stared blankly at her. "Uh-huh, now what type of job are you looking for. We have a position open in the reception if you'd like that."

"Sure, but don't you want to see my qualifications first, I me--"

She was cut off by her new boss. "No worries, you're probably qualified to sort some files and list appointments. There's a break room down the hall to the left and your desk is at the front. That's all you need to know. Now please hurry along, there's a weeks worth of work on your desk and I'd quite like it finished today."

"Can we talk about pay for a second."

"7 bits an hour, 9-5, 6 days a week, that's 336 bits a week, happy? Please do get to work already." Replied Mayor Mare looking slightly peeved by the question.

"No worries Mayor you can count on me to get it done!"

"Please Nur- er Redheart we're co-workers now, call me Mare."

"I did."

"No you called me Mayor, not Mare."

Redheart stared at her for a moment. "Sure, whatever you say."

1 Hour Later : Front Desk

Redheart was only an hour into her work and she was already finding it soul-destroying, nothing but putting files in different sections of a cabinet all day damn long and dealing with the occasional pony wanting to see the Mayor.

Redheart was occupying her time with counting how many files it would take before she'd want to have a bath with her toaster when the first townspony walked in the door.

Redheart looked up from her files to see Derpy Hooves standing before her.

"Letter for Ms. Mayor Mare!"

"Leave it on the desk, I'll give it to her later."

The mailmare set the package down and quickly about turned and flew out the door.

Redheart began inspecting the box. "Why the hell is the Mayor getting a letter from Prance? Wait, why the hell do I care?"

Moments later the next pony trotted in. This time it was Applejack.

"Ahm here for an-" she did a double-take upon seeing who the new receptionist was.

Redheart resisted the urge to throw a barrage of expletives at the pony at the door. "You're here for what?"

"Ah've got an appointment with the Mayor."

Red glanced down at the schedule. "You're 15 minutes late."

"It's not my fault, family troubles an that."

"What? Deciding which cousin you're going to marry?" She thought to herself. "Sure go on in"

Applejack nodded to her and walked past.

"Huh well that's me proved wrong, she actually does understand numbers."

"AH HEARD THAT!" Applejack shouted.

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO!" the ex-nurse shouted back.

1 PM

As the day dragged on, the pile of paperwork on Reds desk didn't seem to become any smaller, it didn't help that she was being constantly interrupted by the ponies coming through the front door. Earlier in the morning only a couple of ponies had came and gone after Applejack but now it felt as if ponies were walking in the door every minute.

"I can do this, it's only four more hours, it's not like it could get any worse, right?"

At that moment the door swung open to reveal Reds worst nightmare.

"Hey, uh I'm here for a meeting with the Mayor." Said Thunderlane.

Red looked up and made direct eye contact with the stallion, who was now realising that the mare at the desk was the same one who tried to kill him last week.

"Wait a second! Why's a crazy bitch like you working in two places?"

Redhearts eyes turned to pure fire. "THE BUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME!" She screamed, slamming her forehooves onto the desk.

Thunderlane was now realising the mistake he'd just made and tried to explain himself.
"I.....uh....was wondering why you weren't working up at the hospital." He said cowering in fear of the pony behind the desk.

"YOU WANNA KNOW WHY IM NOT WORKING THERE RIGHT NOW? BECAUSE YOU GOT ME FIRED YOU MOTHERBUCKER!"

"........c-can I please just go see the mayor now?" The usually courageous and brave stallion whimpered out.

"Go on in, but if I you get me fired again, I swear to Celestia that I will find where you live and burn your house down."

"N-no! There's no need for that! I won't complain, promise!"

Thunderlane sprinted past Red, who now sat with a smile on her face, content she'd just scared the reason she was working at the town hall so hard that he'd probably be looking over his shoulder for a good two weeks or so. It was at this point she remembered that ponies were still waiting to see the mayor, she looked up to find them staring at her nervously.

"Hey! Mind your own business, unless you can help me figure how I can burn down a cloudhouse, sit down and shut up!"

4 PM

Redheart sat slumped at her desk, she was slowly losing the will to live. After the Thunderlane incident, she had begun to sort through her paperwork as fast as she could, and after a good three hours and a near mental breakdown, the pile was now almost finished.
Now she was planning what to do when she got home.
"I'll get in, order take-out, write an angry letter to that doctor telling him to go buck himself again for doing this to me, shower, bed. Then repeat for the rest of the damn week."

She couldn't decide what was worse, the paperwork or the bumbling fools thinking she cared about their problems, she swore that if she had to listen to another pony moan about the taxes she'd bang her head on the desk till it broke. The tired mare looked over the schedule and saw that no other ponies had booked meetings with the Mayor. Except for one, Mr Cake.

"Why did it have to be him? He's 30 minutes late so hopefully he doesn't show."

At that exact moment, Mr Cake stepped in.

"Sorry I'm late, I was too busy taking care of MY kids and spending time with my loyal wife. I'm still waiting on an apology for that."

Redheart narrowed her eyes. "I'm not gonna apologise for the truth."

Mr Cake glared at the mare angrily. "How dare you, you know what? I think you're just jealous that I've got a family."

"Oh yeah, definitely, a wife that's slept with half the town and kids that don't even look like you. One is a unicorn, the other is a pegasus and both of you are earth ponies. How does that even make sense to you?"

"I'll have you know that my great-great grandfather was a unicorn!"

"So where do the wings come from?"

"Well that's.....that's.....genetic chance!"

"Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that. Now will you leave me alone and go talk to the Mayor already."

"This isn't over!"

"Couldn't care less if it was!" She shouted after him.

4:55 PM

With all the appointments done with and work finished, Red hopped off the chair to stretch and noticed that the letter Derpy had delivered was still sitting on the desk. She picked it up and began her way along to the Mayors office.

"Mayor Mare! There's a letter for you!"

No response.

"Screw it, I'll let myself in."

Redheart opened the door and made her way inside to find that the blinds had been drawn and the room sat in pitch darkness.

"Mayor, you in here? I've got a letter for you."

Once again, no response.

" Buck this! I don't get paid enough to deal with this. I'm just leaving it on your desk! Okay, I'm going home now, goodnight!"

Before she could get herself out the door, a voice spoke up from the darkness.

"It's only 4:56 you can't leave yet, where's the letter from?"

"It's from Prance, can I ask why you're sitting in the dark?"

"Because I've lost control of my bucking life Ms. Redheart and that letter could be the thing that gets me back on track. You see recen-"

Noticing that the time was finally 5 PM Red didn't let her finish before she began her way out the door. "Okay good luck with that, see you tomorrow."

Mayor Mare was now left alone in the darkness staring straight ahead, her ears picked up the sound of her new receptionist making her way out the front door to home. She was contemplating staying late when she heard things being shifted around upstairs.

"Buck this, I'm not staying here to get murdered by some ghosts, I'll get it done tomorrow."

The Mayor took the letter and made her way out of the building.

5:20 PM : The Bar

"So how'd the first day go?" Roseluck asked.

"Well, I worked harder than anyone in the building, shouted at some rednecks, threatened to set fire to a minor celebrity, regretted my life choices and tried to get Mr Cake out of denial."

"So just like the hospital then?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"So what now Red? Are you gonna try to get your old job back?"

"Nah but I've got some revenge plans for a pony or two."

Roseluck groaned. "Please don't tell me your actually going to burn Thunderlanes house down because I swear that if you try and pin the blame on me I will end you."

"Aww, fine, I'll blame it on one of your sisters."

"Blame it on Lily." Roseluck scowled. "She didn't water the hydrangeas last week."

"I gotta run, may as well get things planned before the day is over, seeya!"

And with that, Redheart bolted off again.

Roseluck stared at the door momentarily before Berry coughed from behind her.

"I guess you'll be paying."

"OH COME ON!"

The Next Morning

Doctor Horse had arrived at the hospital just as the night shift was finishing, he walked into his office and sat himself down at his desk.
He unlocked one of his desk drawers to find that in place of his flask, sat a small white envelope not unlike the one he had to give to one of his nurses who was fired yesterday. He gingerly opened the envelope, and read what was written on the paper inside.

Look outside.

The doctor looked out of large window on the left wall of his office. Nothing particularly interesting was going on outside, just a few ponies out for a stroll, he looked at the letter once more.

Other side.

This time he turned to look out the window on the right side of the office, Horse looked up to a cloud home ablaze which he thought was theoretically impossible. He saw a few frantic pegasi trying to extinguish the fire but their efforts didn't seem to have any effect.

The doctor now noticed that a small red arrow indicated him to flip over the letter, revealing another message.

Re-hire me or yours is next.

The doctor rushed out the room to file a report to the guards.

Two Days Later

Redheart sat at home on her day off and was greeted with a shock, she picked up the newspaper left at the door and read the headline.

LOCAL MARE CONVICTED OF TWO COUNTS OF ARSON

Red examined the paper more closely.

Local mare, Lily Flower, has been convicted of setting fire to the homes of Wonderbolt member Thunderlane and Doctor C.Horse. The suspect claims to have not been involved but in the meantime is due to receive a two-thousand bit fine and up to six years imprisonment.
One resident was quoted as saying "It was definitely her, she was a bit of a pyromaniac and loved to watch things die. Did I mention she also drowns kittens?"

Redheart put the newspaper back down on the coffee table and let out a sigh of relief.

"Wow, I can't believe that actually worked."