I counted at least eight large cages filled to bursting with humans of all different sizes, shapes and ethnicities the only differentiation made was that four cages were filled with men, whereas the women were divided amongst three separate cages.

"Hey!" The yell came from the front of the slave train.

Turning to face the slaver, whilst preparing an argument that would hopefully prevent me from being forced into the same miserable fate as the rest of these poor sods. The half arsed 'plz no' I had spent the better part of ten seconds preparing died in my throat once I looked upon the (surprisingly) adorable visage of the aforementioned "slaver". What I saw was most definitely not the stereotypical overly muscular African with a whip instead, I was greeted by a stunted electric blue horse with a carrot coloured mane and tail and a hot pink irises which by themselves would have been enough to cause my brain to blow a gasket. The universe however decided that the sight of my brain beating itself bloody against the inside of my skull was far too entertaining.

"Gruuhwhuhh?" Came the guttural noise.

The horse seemed amused at my confusion so much so that it even chuckled at my expense. I snarled in response. The amusement in its eyes died upon hearing this.

"Ooo, tough guy." She (?) said snarling right back.

Opening my mouth to retort I felt two hard points slam into my backside ripping a shout of surprise from my throat and knocking me flat on my face feeling my hands being grabbed roughly and behind my back. I bucked and thrashed like a mad bull attempting remove the weight holding me in place. I was dimly aware of yelling and what sounded like the cries of an enraged animal. My head was yanked back harshly and a metal device was painfully clamped onto my face. Ceasing my pointless struggle, I ascertained that my hands were soundly secured behind my back and that I was unable to open my mouth even slightly. The realization hit me like a bag of bricks.

I just had my arse handed to me on a golden platter studded with diamonds. Whining pathetically, I let my head flop to the ground, wishing I could drown in my self-loathing instead of just wallowing in it. You are an embarrassment to the human race. I berated myself scathingly.

'Yes well you see mister brain, they caught me with my pants down so to speak.'

Only because you were crapping yourself at the sight of a small brightly coloured horse.

'Fine they caught me cause I was being a ponce about a small talking horse. Happy now?'

...

'Oh god I've already started talking to myself.'

A caress along my shoulders pulled me out of my hysteria. Looking around revealed the culprit to be the pink eyes. Using the opportunity to examine the equine more closely. I took note of the bulbous head, animesque eyes and that it's legs didn't narrow at it's ankles unlike the horses I was used to. After several barked orders from blue and a round of complaints from my captors I felt myself become enveloped in a sensation I would describe as being wrapped in warm blankets whilst an uncountable amount of fingers feather across your entire being. Whilst it wasn't unpleasant per say, I most definitely would not recommend it to anyone. Glancing at blue revealed what appeared to be a fascinated look on her face/muzzle.

"Are you even trying sparky?" She bellowed in a scratchy yet feminine voice.

"Buck you Nettie." Replied a more masculine voice before of all things a unicorn walked into view. His horn had grooves running in a spiral fashion along its twenty centimetre length, his hair was non-existent his tail however was fifteen centimetres in length and coloured like spun gold, his coat was the colour of coagulated blood and a glance at his eyes revealed piss yellow irises, finally he had a tattoo of a plume of sparks on his arse.

"Sparky!" Said Nettie who upon closer inspection also had a tattoo of a net on her butt and a scandalized look on her face. "Not in front of the children." Her tone shifted to playful.

The sheer awkwardness of whole situation, plus the shuffling of uncertain hooves and the blushes of my captors that were somehow visible through their fur was almost enough to make me laugh. Almost. The amorous couple was on the verge of making out at this point with their legs wrapped around each other in such a way that you would need a crowbar to even stand a chance of separating the two. A horse whom like myself had tired of the spectacle (albeit for different reasons) cleared its throat and in a stammering falsetto brought the groups attention back to me. Quickly shaking themselves out of their stupor they began to discuss and calmly deliberate the ramifications and effects of my new found "magical" resistance. Long story short, they argued like eight velociraptors in a small tent with only two sleeping bags. After the one guy had FINALLY stopped screaming and passed out from the pain of whatever the hell did to him. They then decided to take me to the "Mines" which judging by the context in which it was used didn't seem like the most pleasant place for a slightly overweight sixteen year old.

"So... how are we going to move him?"

The question was delivered in the same falsetto as earlier except without the nervous stammer. A wave of uncertain murmurs and half hearted suggestions was the response.

"Pfff relax I got this all figured out." Came a voice I instantly recognized as sparky.

Hearing the crunch of unshod hooves walking over mulch grow steadily louder I felt something soft through the fabric of my shirt only to be rolled over moving at least half a metre. Sparky yelled something to the effect of ' get off your arses and help me damnit '.

I very quickly came to the conclusion that I was rapidly developing a rapidly developing not quite hatred for these talking Technicolor abominations. But after ten whole minutes of being rolled around like a damn ball I would most definitely say it pretty close.

Author's Note

First story. I apologise for it's length in advance as I am merely testing to see if anybody would be willing to read my bullshit.