Sleep Is For The Weak

by TheCozyChimera

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Tiberius, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Royal Guard, Discord
Length: 4541

Luna Attempts to stay awake for a full week for a gaming competition.

When she returned to Equestria after a thousand years, Luna had no clue what these new-fangled "video games" were. It's been three years since then, and Luna is currently the head of her own gaming team. So, when a new weeklong gaming competition pops up, Luna is more than ready to lead her team to glory. The only problem? The competition holds matches during both the day and the night, meaning Luna will have to stay awake a full week in order to lead everypony to glory...

Published 2016-08-30 20:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-23 20:41:29 UTC

The Bet

Canterlot’s palace was known to be one of the largest, if not THE largest palace in Equestria. Some have even argued that it could be the largest in the world, although the overblown debates died down with the building of the Palace of the Parliament in Romarenia.

Of course, there comes quite a few problems with a building so large. Mainly, attempting to find one's way. Countless numbers of rooms mottled the massive structure, and getting lost was quite commonplace. Two newly trained guards found themselves perfect examples of such a statement on this fine day.

The two guards went from room to room, hall to hall, attempting to find the room they were supposed to guard. They continued throughout the palace, asking directions, following them, only to find themselves turned around, and repeating the endless cycle.

They eventually stumbled upon a room buried deep within the centuries old building, which made them start. They profusely apologized, hurriedly backing out of the room. Two of the room’s occupants simply rolled their eyes, while the other gave them an apologetic nod.

The room was about the size of a master bedroom, a lush carpet adorning the floor. A large double glass door, framed by luscious purple curtains, led to a small balcony, which gave a gorgeous view of the opposite side of Canterlot’s mountain. The only bits of furniture in the room were three comfy chairs, all surrounding a large circular table.

The first occupant of the room was the princess of the sun, Celestia. In front of her laid a small teacup filled with an amber liquid, from which could be seen the tab of a tea bag. A small deck of playing cards was placed in front of her, as well as a small white token indicating ‘dealer’ upon it. The pastel princess had a fairly large pile of poker chips stacked in front of her.

The second occupant of the room, sitting to the left of the sun princess, was the princess of the moon, Luna. A coffee mug filled with a dark brown fluid was held aloft in a dark blue glow as the dark princess sipped from its contents. Two cards were face down upon the table, as well as a smaller stack of chips than Celestia’s. A small variety of snack bags were also in front of Luna, several of which were already empty.

The last occupant of the room was the lord of chaos, Discord. A lone glass of chocolate milk hovered upside-down above the table, a ridiculously long silly straw feeding its contents to the chaos god. Several empty glasses were strewn about the floor. A massive pile of chips seemed to dominate the table, most stacked redundantly high. As the two sisters were preoccupied with the confused guards, Discord swapped his current cards with the two aces he had hidden in his non-existent pocket.

As the door closed, the black and blue alicorn sighed. “That is the third time this has happened Celi. I thought you said that we were in an OBSCURE part of the palace?”

Celestia gave Luna an apologetic look. “Unfortunately, we are indeed in an obscure part of the palace.” She looked upwards in thought. “This did not happen the last time we played.” She glared at Discord. “I think the new addition to the palace has simply caused some confusion.”

Discord gave Celestia an innocent look. “What? Things were simply getting boring around here, and I figured that the palace’s staff should have some fun every once in a while.”

The white alicorn intensified her glare. “I don’t think that turning the palace’s main pool into your own personal chocolate milk factory would be very fun for the palace’s CLEANING staff.”

A golden halo appeared above Discord’s head, as a small group of white-winged mini Discords appeared. They each pulled out golden trumpets of various shapes and sizes. As they blew into them, one could just barely hear the heavenly sounds of dubstep.

“I assure you Celestia, I meant the best of intentions.”

Celestia rolled her eyes as the halo fell, hitting discord with all the feathery weight of a two-ton brick. “Well, we shouldn’t let such an event distract us from our game. Shall we?”

The others nodded their heads, and began their game once again. The fifth card was revealed, and the players revealed their cards. Discord gave Luna a nervous grin at the glare she was giving him. He brought out the original cards, throwing the two aces into the room-sized pile of cards in his own dimension. Luna managed to win with a two pair.

As the deck was being reshuffled, a small buzz was heard in Luna’s direction. She blinked, before shoving aside an empty bag of potato chips to reveal a cell phone. She took several moments to re-remember how to even unlock the device before reading the new text.

Her eyes widened. “Oh, that’s right, I almost forgot to tell you, Celi.” She placed the phone down, and looked to her older sister.

“There is a gaming competition being held within the next few days. It will last for an entire week, and matches will be held during both the day, as well as the night.”

She sipped some of her coffee before continuing. “I will be leading both the day and night teams for my group, and many of my night guard will be joining me during the night matches. During the day, I will lead a small group of royal guards as well.”

Celestia nodded her head, a hoof placed upon her chin. “Huh, well I guess that explains why a quarter of my guards called in, asking for a week long vacation.” She looked to her sibling, giving Luna a smile. “It is quite nice that you are becoming more social Luna. I wish you the best of luck during your competition.”

Luna suddenly started to look a bit sheepish, her ears turning downward and her eyes looking elsewhere. “Ah, well- you see…” She sighed. “There is a bit of a catch.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow as Luna continued. “During the competition, each team must have their team leader playing along with them, or else they cannot play in that particular round. We had to have already called in who our team leader would be, and we only picked me by mistake, rather than picking multiple leaders.”

Luna scratched the back of her neck with her hoof as Celestia’s eyebrow almost managed to reach Applejack levels. “And this means…?”

The alicorn of the night sighed. “This means that I will have to be there at every match that my teams play, meaning that I will not be able to rest during the competition. I will have to be awake for the entire week.”

Celestia’s other eyebrow joined it’s sister atop her forehead. “Surely you can at least take naps in between matches, right?”

Star-filled hair brushed the table as Luna shook her head. “Nay, I cannot. Since I still have my royal duties to uphold-“ She stopped, giving Discord a confused glance as he chuckled into his paw. “Pray tell, what is so hilarious?” He chuckled harder. “'You said ‘duties!’” Luna blinked, before rolling her eyes, mumbling something about maturity before continuing on.

“Since I still have my royal obligations to fulfill, I will still be going into the dreams of those who require my assistance. I will only be able to do it around two to three times a night, however, and I will not get any rest while doing so. During the day, those two or three hours will be used for basic needs such as food, bathing, and the like.”

Celestia’s brow furrowed. “And what of night court?”

“A notice will be put up, telling those that truly require help to sign a form that will get them first in line at the next day court session.”

Celestia’s brow attempted to hoofbump it’s cousin's snout. “And what will you do if there is an emergency that requires immediate attention?”

Luna offered an Applejack eyebrow of her own. “When has any national emergency not been solved by Twilight and her friends? And even if it was something quick, like a fire or some such, not ALL of the night or royal guard will be joining me for the competition.”

Celestia sighed, backing off. “Alright Luna, you seem to have this at least somewhat planned out. Even though I think it is a bad idea, you have my support.”

Celestia looked to Discord. “Well, you’ve been mostly silent during all of this. What is your opinion on Luna competing like this?”

Discord absentmindedly pulled at his goatee. “I think it is quite a wonderful idea! It is always a good thing to try out something new every once in a while.”

A sudden sly look crossed Discord’s face as his claw dropped back down to the table. “I do have one question, however. How exactly are you going to stay awake during this competition?”

Celestia looked alarmed, while Luna rolled her eyes. “You do realize I am the princess of the night, yes? I have had my fair share of all-nighters.”

The white alicorn gave Luna a concerned look. “But when was the last time you attempted to stay up an entire week?”

The moon princess opened her mouth to speak, only to close it. “I… am afraid that I do not remember.”

She looked to the two others in the room with a determined look. “But I doubt that fatigue will be a problem whatsoever. I have had practice in staying up for more than the recommended hour count, I have my coffee, and I have my will.” Her gaze grew more confident. “Besides, alicorns have different anatomies than regular ponies. What’s to say that I will even grow tired?”

Celestia sighed. “It seems you have already made up your mind, then. Well, at least you have a few days to prepare.” Celestia’s eyebrow went in for round two when Luna gave her a nervous grin. “Seriously?”

Luna chuckled, her eyes directed to her phone. “Ah, well…” She gulped, and looked anywhere but at Celestia, finding a very interesting looking dust bunny in the opposite corner of the room. “The text was from one of my teammates, asking me if I happened to be ready.”

The eyebrow started to rise even higher, before seemingly being stopped by some unknown force.

Applejack suddenly stopped moving, the cart behind her threatening to spill its load.

Apple Bloom blinked, noting that her sister was no longer in the lead. ‘Huh, she ALWAYS makes it to the barn before me…’

“Somethin’ wrong sis?”

Applejack’s glare moved away from the city on the mountain. Her gaze softened slightly, and she began to make her way towards the barn.

“Just a feelin' Apple Bloom. Nothin’ to worry about.”

Celestia ignored the involuntary shudder as her eyebrow lowered somewhat. She sighed, giving Luna a motherly look. “Well, I don’t think any of this is such a good idea, but… you have my support.”

Luna gave out a little squee, and rushed over, hugging her older sister. “Oh, tis’ a good day! Thank you Celi!”

Discord looked down at a small wristwatch that seemingly came out of nowhere. “Well, you may want to hurry. It’s two hours to ten o’ clock.”

The blue alicorn let out a very un-royal sounding whinny, before rushing out of the door. Celestia called to her just as her cutie mark disappeared past the doors frame. “Good luck to you and your team!”

Celestia continued to stare at the empty doorframe for several seconds afterwards, listening to the receding sound of hooves hitting tile.

“I am sad to say, but I don’t think she will be making past the third day.”

“Oh, I am quite surprised, sunbutt! I’d bet all of my cotton candy clouds that she would make it to the end of the last game!”

Celestia raised yet another eyebrow, this one somewhat scared to go to far. “Really now, you’d be willing to bet ALL of your cotton candy clouds?”

Discord scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Well, I wouldn’t bet those precious little things. I don’t know how I could part with them. But, I would certainly be willing to bet something in Luna’s favor.”

The playful side of Celestia began to show through her royal exterior. “Well, how about this… If Luna doesn’t make it to the end of her week, you have to use absolutely no chaos magic for an entire day.”

Discord gave an over-exaggerated gasp. “Not even levitation?”

Celestia smirked. “Not even levitation.”

Discord let a smirk melt onto his face. Literally. “Hm, well since you’re playing dirty… If Luna gets to the end of her final game, you have to let me replace you in a single day of day court.”

Celestia put a hoof to her chin, looking upward as she thought for several seconds. Finally, another smirk appeared on her face and she held out her hoof in front of her.

“You have a deal.”

Discord’s smirk deepened, and he shook her outstretched hoof.

Author's Note

Preparations

Pale moonlight drifted through a window, illuminating a large and somewhat messy room. Several posters were strewn upon the walls, depicting everything from famous video game characters to popular bands. A dark blue shag carpet could be seen, just barely sticking out in the sea of clutter and mess. The ocean of empty junk food bags and half written papers seemed to crawl up the furniture and walls.

A massive crescent moon themed bed took up most of the room, it’s radiant light keeping the hungry junk ocean at bay. An old oak desk sat in the opposite corner of the room, its surface dominated by an old CRT monitor. A tower sat nearby, with the accompanying mouse and keyboard wired into it.

In the middle of the room sat a large couch, which faced a somewhat new TV on a wooden coffee table. Several gaming consoles were laid in front or atop the coffee table. A plastic shelf sat next to the TV, which contained a veritable library of games, as well as pretty much every gaming tool one could imagine, including the controllers themselves.

Muffled hoofsteps could be heard behind the heavy oak door of the room, before it was opened, revealing Luna, carrying a massive brown bag. The alicorn grunted, rolling the large burlap sack off her shoulders, before chucking it with her magic onto the couch. The entire couch seemed to deflate a little.

Luna sighed, stretching her worn out shoulders. Once she had closed the door, she flapped her large, magnificent wings, attempting to land on the moon themed sofa.

She promptly face-planted onto its divine cushions, and let out a massive sigh, curling up into a small ball of alicorn.

At the sound of Luna’s fall, a small furry creature wearily poked it's head out from under the rooms bed. It waddled over to the newly formed mound of ruffled feathers and content grunts.

The creature poked the moon princess, to which she slowly rolled over to see it. “Not now, Tiberius. The small quest to acquire food from the kitchen has turned into a veritable epic. The confusion of the caterers and chefs was enough to tire me out, let alone their horror when I grabbed what I needed.” She wearily said, her eyes closing once more.

The small opossum prodded her once more, pointing at the grandfather clock hidden in the corner of the room. Luna stared at it with a blank expression for several seconds, before her eyes went wide, and she scrambled to get up.

“Argh! I almost forgot!” She looked down to the little opossum to thank him, but he was already gone. As she made her way to her desk, a small head poked out of the sack, carrying a bag of chips in its mouth.

Luna turned the computer on, giving the old equipment its time to properly start up. The moment her screen showed her standard wallpaper, she rapidly logged on to the voice chat that the lunar guards had set up.

“Hey everypony, sorry I’m late. Had to get some preparations done.”

A sassy voice came in through her headphones. “Oh hey, look who’s here!” She could practically hear the smirk as the voice spoke. “I was starting to think that you already feel asleep on us.”

Another voice played, this one gruff. “I mean no offence princess, but a good general is always the first on the battlefield.”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Oh, that’s enough Withering Crystal and Rolling Blow.” She adopted a playful tone. “Do you two want to lose your ranking?”

Crystal chuckled. “Oh, going for the low blow already? I figured you’d save that for when things got serious.”

Luna chuckled herself. It was nice to be able to have a casual conversation now and then. Most guards would be horrified if they heard their peers talking to a princess like this, but they didn’t seem to realize just how boring being treated like royalty actually was. Besides, most of the ponies currently on the channel were used to this kind of talk, mainly due to hanging out with Luna, more often than even Celestia did.

The moon princess cleared her throat, looking at the list of ponies in the channel. “Alright, it seems like everypony is here, other than… Star Shade. Anypony know where he is?”

Several confused mutterings played in Luna’s ears, and she sighed. “Great so that means we’re down one.” She looked to the grandfather clock. “Well, we still have an hour before our first match, and we still have enough ponies to hit the max on the number of players on one team. For now, let’s do some training before we get started.”

Thirteen voices grunted their confirmations, and Luna loaded up the game. After a few logos of various game developers, the screen finally revealed the main menu. The title 'Knights with Guns 3' was held in the center of the screen, with the various menu options just below it. Behind the title and options, one could see a small battle being held. Luna thought it was cool how the game loaded up a random game in progress to use as the main menus background.

Just when she was about to start up the private server, a monotone female voice could be heard. “A user has joined your call”. As soon as the electronic voice stopped, a more biological one piped up.

“Sorry I’m late everypony! Had to prepare some stuff for the game.”

Crystal made an over-exaggerated gasp. “That was the same excuse that Luna made! Is there something you two aren’t telling us~?”

Luna blushed, and glared in the general direction of her bed when she heard Tiberius laugh.

Star Shade stammered on his end as Luna turned her glare to her screen. “We did no such thing Crystal! And remember, our voices will not only heard live, but also recorded for later. Let’s keep things PG, okay?”

A playful chuckle whisked past Luna’s ears. “No promises~!”

The dark coated alicorn sighed. “Alright, I’m starting the server. The password is 'spearhead'. Everypony join in when you’re ready. And just as a heads up, the enemy AI difficulty has been set to ultra hard.”

Once Luna and everypony else was in, the character selection screen was brought up, showing a roster of about thirty different characters. Ten ponies chose their usual character, while the rest were switched to spectator mode. With characters picked, they then selected a loadout that suited their playing style, and picked a skill tree to allot a few points into.

Once everything was settled, and everyone clicked the ready button, the screen switched over to a view of their specific character in first person. The announcer shouted out the countdown as it ticked down to zero. And with that, the game began.

Luna opened up her map, and began to shout orders into her mic. “Alright, Winged Blade, Star Shade and Withering Crystal, head on over to each of the control points and see how many are on each. Those of you with a defending class, hunker down and defend the main point. Everypony else, spread out.”

As each pony went their respective way, Luna rushed over to the middle point, map out. She smirked when several red blips appeared close by. As the map was stowed, a large sparkling claymore was pulled out of its sheath. Her smirk deepened as an enemy AI appeared in front of her. She darkly chuckled.

“And so the game begins…”

Once they wiped the floor with the enemy AI team, the group got everything set up for their first official match. The first few matches would be placement matches, so even if they failed one match, they could still make a comeback and get into the next part of the tournament.

Luna placed a few different snacks and drinks near her desk, sighing at the limited selection. Her brow furrowed when she heard a distinct crunching sound, and she glared at Tiberius. The little opossum managed to eat his way through almost half the bag already, which was impressive, considering how heavy the thing was.

Luna watched him eat, noting how distended his stomach was. He had gotten so large that he looked more like an overgrown fuzzball than an actual creature. She chuckled at the thought of him trying to move about, having to drag his overgrown belly across the floor. With her anger appeased for now, she turned back to her computer, putting on her headset.

“Alright, the announcements are in thirty minutes, are you all prepared for your first match? Do you have everything you need?”

Everypony stated their affirmations, and Luna nodded. “Alright, lets hop onto the official channel, and wait.”

She opened the private channel that was given to all contestants, entering the required password, and looked at the list of names. She winced. There were a surprisingly large amount of names, and considering how each team was made of at least ten ponies, there had to be at least twenty different teams competing.

With voice chat off, most of the contestants in the channel used the chat log to talk to each other. Even with Luna just now getting in, the chat log had already been filled to the top.

XxshadowedgamerxX: hey guys, do you think that this year will be as intense as last year’s tournament?

Pewdiepone: The hay are you talking about? Of course it is! If anything, this year will be even more intense with all these new teams competing.

Germa874: wait what

_ratS: This year will be much more enjoyable with all of these teams competing. Last year, barely anypony showed up.

Merkiplied: Whatever they’re going to do this year will be awesome either way. I had a blast last year; doubt that this one will be any different!

PonTron: ECH

Luna began to ignore the chat, and instead, began to wait. Twenty minutes, and the first games in the entire tournaments would begin. Twenty minutes, and Luna’s team would be given a challenge that, if surpassed, would allow them to move just that closer to being declared the winners.

The princess’s headphones crackled, causing Luna to look at the clock. Five minutes. A voice began to speak, addressing the ponies within the channel.

“Alright, we’re just getting everything over here finished up. In five minutes, we will state a few different rules, as well as make a few announcements. Once that is over, if your team is competing, you and the rest of your team will be receiving the password for a private server as well as a voice channel. Hop on, we’ll say a few things, and then the two teams will battle.”

The voice crackled slightly. “And remember, anything you say in the voice channel will be live and recorded, so keep the cursing to a minimum; ponies of all ages will be watching.”

And with that, the voice was gone. The chat exploded with activity, names and messages whizzing by faster than Luna could read them. She steeled her nerves, counting down the seconds until the official announcements.

Sure enough, soon after it passed zero, the voice of an over-enthusiastic stallion burst through the din of silence.

“Goooood evening everypony! Today is the first day of our second annual 'Knights with Guns 3' official tournament! Now since this is a relatively new thing for most ponies, we will be explaining the basics.”

The sound of paper shuffling could be heard. “Most eSport tournaments require every team that is to be competing to all be in one location, using on-sight computers. Not only that, but most tournaments require some prerequisite for your team to get on and officially be labeled ‘professional’.”

“But this tournament is quite different! Not only is anypony allowed to get in just so long as they have a team, but you don’t have to be on-site anymore! This is one of the first, if not, THE first tournament to be held completely online.”

The voice paused for several seconds before continuing. “Unfortunately, this openness comes with a few downsides. Since this specific type of tournament has gotten so popular, there are quite a few teams competing, meaning we will have to extend the length of the tournament to an entire week, with matches held during both the day, and the night.”

Luna sighed, a frown tugging at her muzzle. She was quite unhappy with the fact that this tournament was considered unprofessional. Unfortunately, with Luna only just now returning from the moon a few years ago, and this tournament being the only real test of her skill, most would not want her on their teams. Plus, the whole nightmare moon was still something on some ponies minds, with Ponyville the only real place where she was somewhat accepted.

“So, with that all out of the way, we can now explain what the prize for having your team win will be!”

Luna’s attention was immediately brought back to the voice.

"The prize for this year’s tournament will be a shared two thousand bits between the whole of your team, as well as having every member in your team recommended to the official Equestria video game league!”

“And with all of that out of the way, it is time to begin! And while this is indeed a serious competition, just remember: have fun!”

A click played in Luna’s headphones, and the voice disappeared like the last. With her mood having done a complete 180, and having her determination brought back, she cracked her neck, stretching out some muscles as she smirked at the screen.

Soon, a schedule of the teams competing popped up on the screen. Luna looked to the teams currently fighting, which caused her smirk to vanish. Her team wasn’t set to play for another five hours.

The moon princess groaned, before slamming her face into her keyboard.