Happy Birthday, kid; Welcome to hell
You know the more I think about this the more unfair it gets I mean why should I have to the shopping it's my birthday. Well no use complaining I'm here now might as well get this over with. So whats next on the non-existant list of sustinants mu-Fuck iz dat. "Oh well this could be a problem." it appears the store is being robbed; well can't let opportunities pass me by might as steal all the shit i've already got or I could play the hero and as a reward get free food forever.
"WILL YOU HURRY UP AND PUT ALL THE MONEY IN THE BAG ALREADY!" well shit, someones demanding or maybe its because of the sirens outside. Well time to be sneaky, coin toss dictates imma be hero I mean i'm practically up his ass already might as well jus- *CRUNCH* fuck my ass I stood on a stupid packet of haribos.
*BANG!* "AHHHHH JESUS FUC-*BANG* "ONCE WAS ENOUGH JACkass." well thats that I Cryptic Cipher a 19 year old man got fuckin' double tapped by a thief I scared the shit out of got to admit a hell of a way to don't you think. Oh would you look at that fucker just took off without the money as well. I just realized he shot my arm off and blew a hole in my chest there's blood and other juicy bits all over the place.
"WAKE UP ALREADY YOU STUPID FUCK." well someone is in a sour mood don't they know I just die-WHY IS THEIR NO PAIN ANYMORE.
"DON'T MAKE GET THE PITCHFORK." persistent i'll give him that. Alright if he wants me off the strangely hot floor i'll get of it.
"Yes, yes i'm up what do you want." lets see what he looks like; the guys built like a machine, is wearing a purple and black suit, has purple-y pink eyes, white hair, greyish skin and has an aura of 'fuck with me then you best prepare your ass' though the smiles he has is strangely friendly so friendly I cant hel but smile back.
"What I want my friend, is you-" ah i getcha that explains the smile "-no-homo." Well this is a very weird situ-didn't I die not just five minutes ago. Oh shit I just realized somethig, it's hot as balls theirs a rather handsome man infront of me that threatened me with a pitchfork; Well shit I went to hell.
Well this will be an weird convo "So you wouldn't happen to be Satan would you." huh he seems happier very weird indeed.
"why yes I would but you can call me Lucifer." Alright sweet i'm speaking to the devil and im not in pain yet "Now, back on topic I require some help on a few things and you my friend are the perfect man for the job." well never thought i'd work for the devil -I wonder what the payment is- well might as well see what i'll have to do.
"Well what do you need." I hope this doesn't fuck me over in any way.
"First: we need a new sin more specifically wrath. Second: their are a few thousandish rouge demons that took off to certian universe and they need to dealt with." this is an intereasting proposal.
" Alright, what do I get." I wonder if its something cool probably not but you never know.
"Ah right of course, you will be the embodiment of wrath and you get a decent array of abilities like a boosted healing factor; granted you will only heal if you focus on the wound." I will admit that would be very useful.
"Thats cool, but i'm sensing theres more." I wonder if its like wolverine's or deadpool's.
"Right you are, the next is demon summoning which is as it sounds you can summon up to three demons at a time." would they be like imps or like Diablo who knows.
"Right, that would be for evening the odds in combat." Or for a demon party.
"The next ability will make you appear to be a very trustworthy individual so you can easily gain information from people or you can look at in a way were you simply draw out people's secrets and desires." That will be very useful and it's a bit like Lucifer from the T.V show so I could probably make it work although it would be a little suspicious If I use it to much "this one is 'pretty cool' as you mortals would say because it's magic. Don't ask what type of magic because that all depends on a persons soul. I mean you can still learn new tricks and stuff like that." he's not very good at explaining things but magic bitches, nuff said. " the next one i'll admit will be a bit problematic; it is basically when something kills you (however that hard that'll be) you'll come back to hell but since you still have a job to do i'll ship yo ass back to your body thus bringing you back to life. Is it OP as fuck a little; does it get the job done yes and as long as the job is done I don't give a flying fuck how you do it." so i'm immortal now, damn it i'm forever alone well nothing much has changed.
"I'm going to assume from your prolonged silence you're done listing all the cool shit i'll be able to do." well do I accept, no shit i'm dead -still haven't freaked out yet- so I have nothing else to do so "Well Lucifer I agree to become wrath and a pimped out exterminator." well this is about to get intereasting.
I do not like the look on his face "Wonderful, all you have to do know is drink from this cup lookin' thingy." well alright then doesn't sound to bad. Well it is not that bad actually i figured reaching out to it would active some sadistic right of passage but no, just a drink.
"Well there you go I drank it; wasn't to bad actually." I'm starting to feel a bit tougher and lighter and my head hurts a fuck-ton but other than that I feel great better than great actually.
"So Wrath I bet your wondering why do if feel so strange, well it all has to do with magic; your current body has not magic so when you drank the 'Devil's blood' your body started to change and that change is for the better; by the why, the headache is just a side effect so it'll go away soon-" well thats pleasant news because THIS IS PURE FUCKIN' AGONY; IT HURTS SOOO BAD RIGHT NOW "- speaking of going away you have a mission to complete. I'll introduce you to the rest of the family later goodbye." and do you know what he done next no; well i'll tell you, a right hook's what happened and for the second time today everything went black.
"euuggh" I am currently in the the process of opening my eyes an I must say this is a pretty hard task but as my eyes slowly open I begin to see trees and a lot of them another thing is that it is night and the moon is HUGE and it has a weird pattern on it kinda like a horse but that doesn't matter right now that matters is that my eyes open.
"Where the hell am I" yeah thats all I had to say because one: the world lookes like a cartoon; Two: I look like a carto-'HOLD ON A SEC' " YOU THERE PUDDLE HOLD STILL." so as i ever so slowly walked my way over to, well more like crawled over to the puddle for the first time in awhile I notice my appearance. The first thing I is that my right eye has changed, it now has a yellow sclera, no iris and a slitted pupil, then my fairly tan skin, after that my Black hair almost fully covering my right eye but the strangest thing is it now has a yellow streak going through it, after that I finally realize that I have new clothes and they appear to be rather casual because for some reason i'm wearing a yellow hoodie that has weird black symbol on it then under the hoodie I can see a plain black T-shirt and for my lower half black pants with you guessed it black and yellow convers." Well whoever put me in these clothes sure do like black and yellow." well now that I have taken im my appearance I start noticing the forest, How I now it's a forest; well the fact that if it wasn't for me standing in a small clearing I most likely wouldn't be able to see the sky.
"Now then before huntin' me some demon there's something i've been holding in for a while... I JUST FUCKING DIED AND CAME BACK TO LIFE WITH POWERS"
