Well, here I am. Six o’clock, right on time. Where is she? I thought she was always ‘punctual and on time like the rising sun.’ What if she’s wearing clothes, I didn’t even ask what color she was. All I know is she’s a pegasi.
Great, she could be overhead looking for me right now. Here I am, wearing a tie. Only a tie. Maybe I have time to change and put on a shirt. Why did I listen to Cart Puller and wear only a tie? He tied it on me a little tight, what if I’m slowly suffocating. Oh no, I wouldn’t know! I’d better loosen it a little.
Okay, that’s better. But, now I have a loose tie and it might look like I’m lazy or worse yet, incompetent. Maybe if I tighten it a little more. Oh great, now it feels askew. I’ll just put it back… Darn it, now I can see the knot! I’ll just start over, now, how do I tie this thing? Oh no! I don’t know how to tie a tie.
I knew last week for that wedding, what happened in the last week that made me forget? Mind control? Magic spells? Aliens?! No, no. Stay calm. Just, relax… Breathe normally! Oh no, what if the aliens are starting a mental take over and I’m the first in the line of zombies that do their bidding!
Okay, calm down. Breathe in. Breathe out. Just, lean on the wall and stop looking like an idiot! There’s no such thing as aliens. But, what if that’s what they want me to think.
Pickles! That’s a great snack. No way aliens would love those. I need some snacks, that’ll help. No, wait, my date! She’ll be hungry and, nope, not a pegasi above me, if I eat now she’ll be insulted I didn’t wait. Gosh, what time is it?
Okay, six oh two. She’s late. Oh no, she saw me messing with my tie and turned around and left. My tie! It’s on the ground and dusty! Cart’s the only pony I know that lives nearby, I can gallop and make it to his house, get a new tie put on with a shirt and coat and still make it back before she shows up.
She. Her. Is it her? She’s looking at me, it has to be her. Smile, but don’t overdo it. “Hey-a. Are you lookin’ for me?” Don’t wink at her. Darn it! I said don’t wink!
“Sorry, I have a coltfriend.”
A~nd, she’s not her and I look like a creep winking at a stranger. ‘Looking for me’? What a terrible line, and the coltfriend reply? So cliche, she probably isn't even interested in that stuff. A workaholic or worse, one of those that doesn’t know what’s what in the world. A vacant expression to greet like that stallion. He’s so simple I can see him thinking of work and eating daisy sandwiches with a mare and not even looking at her flank.
What if the mare I’m waiting for is one of those ‘duh, let’s go smell the flowers for hours’ mares. The kind that look vacantly at me while I talk and I can see they don’t understand the basics of conversation.
Oh, fantastic, she’s gonna be the opposite. A total brain case, egghead, nerd. Thick glasses that’re held together with green tape, because ‘green is trendy’. She’ll bore me to death with talk of some random book in some random library in some lame town like Ponyville.
Who names a town Ponyville? It’s like naming a town horseville or Minotaurtown. Griffonland? Hehe, sounds fun, actually. I mean, I can understand the thought process of the yokels out there, but seriously. And for that matter, why do so many towns have equine related names?
Oh! Is that her? And her friend? Well, well… Do wink, maybe… if looks could kill, I’d be dead. She’s obviously smart enough to know I winked at her and that’s probably her best friend, there to keep her safe from guys like me. Just play it cool, like you have something in your eye. Gah! The tie has dirt on it and now it’s in my eye!
“Ah, ee, ou, eh!”
“Look, Blossom, he knows some vowels. He’s better than the last one to hit on you.”
“Don’t look, just trot faster before he puts them into words.”
Wow, that was rude of them. “I can hear you.”
“We can’t hear you.”
And they turned the corner. What a bunch’a… No, wait, what if it was that Blossom one? That was a test and I failed it! No, don’t think that way. It’s… six oh five?!
That’s it, she’s not showing up. She’s ditched me, or saw me leaning here like a naked idiot while she’s wearing a full gown with sequins and flew off. Literally. Nope, she’s not up there. She’s nowhere! This was some gag they pulled on me. There was no mare. No blind date.
No anything. Just a joke. Well ha-ha. I don’t have to stand here and take it. I’m leaving. No, they’re watching and waiting for me to leave, I can feel their eyes on me. If I weren’t in public I’d stick my tongue out at them. That’d show ‘em that I don’t care about what they think of my personal desires and needs for love and attention.
Well, I’ll have none of that. I’m gonna march right up to them and- “Oof, oh, excuse me… Miss-” she’s beautiful. A simple dress, no glasses, no vacant expression, all her teeth. Please let this be her. Blink, damn you! Stop staring into her eyes, those deep lavender eyes.
“H-hello, I, think we’re supposed to be on a blind date? M-my name’s Skies. Uh, Sunny, er, Sunny Skies!” She’s nervous too! Yes!
(Imaginary hoof pump)
“Wulp. Ugum… Me name Pen, ahem! M-my name’s Pen Swipe. Nice to meet you, Sunny.” She hoof bumped me! Oh Celestia take me now to the Pastures beyond. This is the one. Oh, she giggles like a goddess and she’s as white as a cloud on a sunny day. That pink mane is cute and the multicolor dress in the like of Celestia’s mane?
“Oh yeah.”
“Oh yeah, what?”
Oh no, I said that out loud. “Uh, oh yeah, time to go. Hehe,” nice one, dork, “let’s go and grab a bite and talk about… whatever you want.”
“Well, I read this one book from a library in Canterlot-” oh no! “-about what not to talk about, and books was one of them, hmm-hm…”
Oh yeah, this’ going in my diary as the best start to a date ever.