Why do I Have to Clean Up?

by mikuninja

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Original Character
Length: 4028

Truth, The Eternal Constant, Ma'at, and many other titles, is stuck cleaning up after the other gods after returning from exile. This time? Cleaning the aftermath 1000 years later after an accidental opening of a pandora's box in Equestria.

Truth, The Eternal Constant, Ma'at, and many other titles, is stuck cleaning up after the other personifications after returning from exile.
This time? Cleaning the aftermath 1000 years later after an accidental opening of a pandora's box in Equestria.
Well, this ought to be fun.

Art by me.

Published 2016-09-05 22:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-08 00:26:10 UTC

Why Me?

It was a peaceful day in the realm.

Sadly, it did not last.

A skeleton of a crow landed in front of me with a message.

I was half-tempted to banish the crow off to another dimension, but decided against it. After all, it was Death's favorite messenger.

I sighed and begrudgingly held out my hand to receive a folded up piece of parchment.

I read the contents of message and groaned.

Come to my office.

Well, pineapples.

I stood up, startling the crow, and teleported to Death's office.

When I arrived, Death was signing paperwork for a human to move to the Underworld.

He had short messy black hair, deep-blood red eyes, and very pale complexion. He wore a black robe with silver linings and intricate designs embroidered in green. He ad a brass name-pin with the name Death etched on it.

I looked around his office. Papers were strewn everywhere and overfilled file cabinets covered at least half the room. Mirrors covered the rest of the room, giving the impression of an infinite room. I looked at one of the mirror. I had gray eyes, dark brown hair that seemed to have a mind of it's own and slightly tanned skin. I wore a pure white silk dress that seem ethereal as it moved like wind was blowing. My name-pin was platinum, but instead of my name being etched on, it was hastily scribbled on with gold Sharpie.

That's what I get for returning from exile.

`Death finally looked up. "You're late."

"No I'm not."

" Yes you are." I deadpanned at him. Trust him to end the argument his way.

" There is a task for you."

" What is it this time? A land filled with flaming cheetos? Another homunculus? A guy who split his soul into seven pieces? Come on, those weren't even my fault!"

" All of them were your fault in some way or another. This time it's your fault. Directly." I narrowed my eyes. What had happened that was my fault?

Answer? A little too many things.

"It's acting up again." My eyes widened.

" Oh. That."

That being the Pandora's Box that was accidentally banished while open to a world called Equestria. ~~It was totally not my fault.~~

...Apparently it activates every 1000 years.

"So...?"

"You'll be sent to the world called Equestria as a representative of the Realm to right the wrongs of the Pandora's box. The deity of that world is outside of my office."

He raised his voice slightly. "Come in."

There was a slight tingly feeling in the air, as if someone just sprinkled glitter everywhere, and the door swung open.

I stared at the figure in the doorway.

She (I'm assuming she's a she) was a pegacorn equine (Which is very rare in this dimension of the realm. Most of them take on a humanoid form.) with a pinkish-white pelt (or skin? Fur?). Her hair (mane?) and tail were multicolored and flowing (which reminded me of the dawn) and had violet eyes. On her flank was the image of a stylized sun.

Death smirked. "This is Celestia."

A spark of recognition flitted through her eyes.

Now that I think about it, I feel like I've seen her somewhere....

An image of the younger version of the god with pink hair (MANE) with a smaller blue one frolicking in a meadow (which looked like the Elysian Fields) popped into my mind. I gasped. "You're Celly!"

She chuckled. "Indeed."

"What happened to Lulu?"

Her eyes darkened and lowered her head. "She-she...was turned into Nightmare Moon. I had no choice but to banish her to the moon."

"I'm sorry."

"So," Death started and we both looked at him. "Now that we are reacquainted, We will need to sort out a few details."

We both nodded.

"Alright. Truth, you will enter Celestia's world a week before the box activates. Don't bother with the portal, it's out of order. Celestia, keep an eye out for a dimensional rift in room 206 of the East Tower of your palace. Truth, you can fight the monsters, but you must leave it up to the Natural Harmonies to truly defeat them, with the exception of the Changlings, that will be dealt with the love of two individuals named Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor and no, Truth, you are not allowed to make fun of his name."

I had to hold my laughter in. " Of course-heheh, I won't make fun of-snnrk- Shining Armor...." With that, I collapsed into laughter, with Celestia looking from the sidelines, bemused.

"*ahem* Anyways, Truth, you will be a quadruped. What form you take is up to you. You have three hours to get ready and go to the Department of Dimensional Rifts. Now go, I have to deal with a god dying on Earth-world."

I nodded and let Celestia go out first. I left the office and teleported back to the meadow that I was in before.

When I got there, Fred, my Fae-dragon, flew up to me. He had shiny iridescent scales and shimmery dragonfly-like wings. He had magic that could alter his size, but he likes to stay cat-sized.

"Hey, Fred."

*chirp*

"Yeah, I'm going to be leaving."

*chirp?*

"Oh it's probably more monster-fighting."

*chirooo~*

"No, I won't eat them or give any to you."

*chiii...*

"I know you like cockatrice meat, but I don't know if there are any."

*chirrup?*

"Yeah, I'm leaving in 3 hours."

*chaaa~*

"Oh, I'm not sure if you can come. But, if you insist..."

*chirp~*

"Alright. But what about Fish?"

*Mrrow?*

"Oh, you want to come?"

*Meow*

"Alright."

Fish was a two-tailed cat who had one eye blue, one green. Her fur was a brilliant blue which sparkled whenever she moved.

"Okay, now hold on."

With a fae-dragon and a two-tailed cat in tow, I teleported to the Department of Dimensional Rifts.

Author's Note

Hello, mikuninja here~
Well, here's my first fimfiction story.
So yeah.
Oh and if you want to be an editor, send me a message~!
Bye!

Oops, Wrong Dimesional Rift

I appeared at the DDR's front desk. A woman dressed in a simple white shirt and black pants greeted me. The only thing that set her apart from a human was a pair of big, gray, hawk-like wings and black mountain goat horns. Her name-pin was copper, and etched on it was her name and department.

Fay Willow

Secretary of the Department of Dimensional Rifts

She smiled at me. "Hello, Truth. What brings you here today?"

"Death. Meddling. Equestria. Pandora's Box."

"Ah. I see."

Without a further word, she led me to the Worlds Rift section, then to Rift 42.

Death was waiting there. He checked his imaginary watch which popped into existence.

"You're early."

"Yes, yes I am."

He deadpanned at me.

"You can't bring your pets."

"Why?"

"What if," he leaned close to me, red eyes flashing," they got lost in the unreality and die?" He leaned back, observing me with that infernal smirk of his.

Che. I glared at him, hoping that he would spontaneously combust...

Oh look, he did.

He deadpanned at me (again) and put out the fires with a snap.

"Point made." I turned to Fred and Fish. "Sorry, I can't take you there."

*Chi.....*

"Okay, I'll try to bring some back, alright?"

I turn to Fish.

"Fish, make sure Fred and Gatekeeper don't burn down my area, kill things or both at the same time. If you keep them in line, I'll be sure to stop on my way back and grab some fatty tuna."

*Meow!* She saluted me with some drool dripping out of the corner of mouth.

I chuckled and patted her on the head. Both Fred and Fish teleported back to my area of the God Realm.

I turned to Death and Fay. "Okay, now that has been dealt with, is this the rift?"

Death nodded. "Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Are you reeeeeaaaaaallllllllyyyy sure?"

Death gritted his teeth. "Yes. I'm. Sure."

I raised an eyebrow at him. Said eyebrow floated upwards, off my face, and snapped back to it's original position.

"Alrighty then." I stepped through the rift, and as I look back, Death seemed to say something to Fay. Fay widened her eyes, and then looked at me.

"Oh shoot, that's the wrong one!"

Huh?

What did she say?

I was floating through the unreality and towards the opening on the other side.

Was Celestia's castle very foresty?

Or did it reside in the tiny village right next to the forest?

Why was it broken down and old?

Eh...

Then the unreality, for the lack of better words, spat me out.

I tumbled onto the hard stone floor, wincing every time a part hit the ground. I finally stopped, and tried to stand up on two legs.

That... didn't really work out. I fell back on the floor.

Right. I was a quadruped. I stood up shakily with all four legs.

Well, better check what I looked like.

I watched as blobs of shadows coalesced in front of me into a full-body mirror. I stared into it

Awwwww heeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllll no.

I was an ~~pegacorn~~ alicorn. Said alicorn was probably taller than Celestia. It had a very light gray coat, sliver colored eyes, and cherry blossom pink mane and tail with a darker hue running down the middle. It was also flowing, much like Celestia's.

Yeah, I get that I'm a god, but why?

No way am I gonna be one of those Mary-Sues in fanfiction!

Yes, I read fanfiction, so what? There had to be some way to pass the time up there!

Also, during the time in the unreality, I learned that pegacorns in this world were called alicorns.

Well then. I dismissed the mirror, which fell back into shapeless blobs of shadow.

I looked around. The forest covered the horizon but I was in an old castle. Vines crept along the corners and crevices and moss grew on almost every stone. The very air of this place was saturated with magic, as if two god-like beings fought here...

All mine now~

But first, a slight species change.

I closed my eyes, feeling things shift into different places. I opened my eyes and summoned another full-body mirror.

My ears were slightly more fluffy and cat-like, the front legs were now paws, and had a big gray and pink-tipped fluffy fox-like tail.
I was still the same height though. I narrowed my eyes. and with a poof, I was filly-sized altered alicorn, then a filly normal alicorn and finally an Earth pony.

It was just an illusion, but it sealed smidgen of my power when any of illusions were active.

After all, this world doesn't need another reality warping...pony.

That felt weird.

Everything started to darken. I looked up. The sun was setting, and the moon crept across the sky.

I tried using my horn...Oh wait I don't have that any more.

Then I used my own god magic and poofed back into my altered alicorn form.

The castle started building itself, starting from the foundation to the four towers.

Instead of stone, it was pure white marble reinforced with the ambient magic to make sure it didn't corrode. The roof was made with rose quartz crystals, thin enough to let light in, but thick enough so that other ~~people~~ ponies don't see in. The floor and columns were marble and the columns had a coat of crystals. It was void with decorations except for the magic infused crystal chandeliers, which glowed gold, turquoise, blue or white.

I teleported to one of the towers, furnished it with a dark pink carpet and a four-poster bed, faceplanted into the mattress and fell asleep.

Meanwhile, in Canterlot...

Celestia stood the room of 206 as she waited. Her pupil, Twilight Sparkle, eagerly waited to take notes on this 'dimensional rift'.

Then, reality bent and tore open.

Purple unreality threatened to spill over, but was stopped by an unknown force. A skeleton of a bird flew through with a message.
Celestia frowned and accepted the message.

Truth went through the wrong rift.

Keep your eyes on the Everfree.

Death

That was not good.

The bird flew back in, and the tear sealed itself.

She turned to one of the guards in the room, who was half-surprised at the situation, fell to the floor. "Send scouts to the Everfree Forest. Report anything unusual."

"Yes Princess Celestia." The guard stood up, saluted, and ran out of the room.

She turned to her student, who was still scribbling furiously. Should she send her now?

No, she decided against it. If she goes there now, she might not have friends by the time of her arrival.

She walked out of the room, thinking about that one delicious strawberry shortcake in the Royal Kitchens...

Author's Note

Heya peoples! mikuninja here~!
Oh! I forgot to say this last time!
Disclaimer: I do not own MLP:FiM. I only own the OCs. (AKA Truth, Death, Fred, Fay and Fish)
Please Review~

I Like Food

At first it was darkness.

Then everything turned white.

I was walking up a staircase, hands bound together.

No. Nononononononono-please not this again-

Gods stared ahead, some eyes filled with grief, some with hate.

I'm sorry. I didn't know that this would happen-

I reached the top of the stairs. Three shadowed figures sat.

I wanted to save them-

"Oh how the mighty have fallen!" One figure mocked. The other two shrieked with laughter, yet the rest kept their stony silence.

When the laughter subsided, another stood up.

"Friends, we have gathered here today to witness the exile of the rebel leader!"

Silence.

"So you think it's funny that you killed gods?"I started, anger boiling,"That in order for your conquest, slaughtered countless of innocents? Including your loved one, L-" A gag popped over my mouth, preventing me from saying anything.

"SILENCE!"

I flailed my legs upward.

Wait, where was I?

The sun shined through the window, lighting up the whole room.

Right. In Equestria. Castle.

*Growwwwwwwwwwwwwlll*

What was that?

Oh wait, that's my stomach.

Gods could eat almost anything, even magic. Each kind of magic had a different taste. Elemental magic taste like fruit tart and "Dark" magic taste like that one delicious dark chocolate cake that's a tad too bitter. This world's "Harmony" magic was very light and fluffy, like the best strawberry cake in the world.

Then I remembered Fred.

I teleported somewhere in the middle of the woods, where a cockatrice roost was located.

Food~!

I walked through the forest to the edge. There I saw an apple orchard and changed into my earth filly form and walked out.

The orchard was nicely kept, but the barn was slightly rundown.

I walked through the trees and to what I think is the front of the orchard. There was a long path and it seemed to lead to a small village.

I followed the path and arrived at the center of the town.

Looking around, I spied a cake-looking house in which I assumed it was a bakery. I started walking there when a pink blur passed me.

I stopped in my tracks, blinking multiple times.

Wat.

A pink earth pony with a curly pink mane and tail stared at me. Straight in the eyes.

Confused, I said "Hi."

The pony did an overly-dramatic gasp, flew in the air, and ran away.

Well, that was weird.

I wandered around, taking in the surrounding areas.

I was yanked from behind.

Startled, I yelped before blindly teleporting to the castle.

I looked around and figured that I was in my bedroom, then looked up. The magic infused chandelier glowed with magic. It was created when I tried to clear the foundation of this castle.

It was a gem chandelier with pink, purple, blue, red and orange gems as the "candles". In the center was a perfectly shaped dark pink six-pointed star.

A strong sense of foreboding overcame me.

Eh...

I was tired, so I fell asleep.

Day 2

I went back to the cockatrice roost.

As I was picking my dinner, a small whimper sounded behind me.

I turned around, cockatrice hanging limply in my mouth.

A bright yellow pegasus with pink hair stared at me with horror. It didn't help that I was in my original form.

"Offh, Hefffpho."

Wow, I didn't think she could shrink any more than that.

I spat out the cockatrice, catching it with with my magic and taking a step towards her.

Huh. I swear she was there a moment ago...

Eh...

I went back to the castle.

The sense of foreboding grew stronger.

A few days later...

Celestia stared into the sky, watching the setting sun plunge Equestria into darkness.

From the the time when she first saw it to now, the sky never changed.

Sure, there were times where clouds blocked patches of the endless blue, where the windigos stormed across the sky, when Discord turned it purple, but the sky was always there, unyielding and unaffected by the times below.

She sighed.

Tonight, she would be freed. Celestia had already sent her student to the village next to her old castle. She hoped that she would be able to make friends in time.

"Hello, sister."

She froze. Her eyes narrowed. She held her head high.

"Hello, Luna."

The voice snarled. "How dare you... Luna is long gone. I am Nightmare Moon."

Dark blue smoke swirled around the darkened room. " It has been a thousand years since our last battle. I see the Elements have forsaken you." The smoke coalesced into a figure in front of Celestia. The voice gave a sinister chuckle. "Will you now stand and fight me without the Elements? Or cower and hide, unwilling to hurt your precious Luna that you think I am?"

Celestia gritted her teeth. It was now or never.

She rose up in the air, her horn flared to life. The figure prepared to fight and turquoise light shone through the gloom. From the tip of Celestia's horn, a ball of light grew and enveloped her. With a bright flash, she was gone.

The light disappeared. The figure stood up and growled. "Coward. You- " The figure stopped. She turned towards the balcony, watching a bright flash in a small village.

The figure grinned, sharp teeth flashing in the moonlight.

You can run, but you can never hide...

With that, the figure spread her wings and flew towards the flash.

I ran through the forest and to the village while applying my earth pony illusion.

Something had compelled me to go in this direction.

I ran through town and into the center building.

I waited amongst the crowd the ponies milling about.

When the curtains opened, every~~one~~pony gasped.

There was no ~~one~~pony there. Instead, dark blue smoke rose up and condensed into a figure.

Evil laughter resounded in the hall.
It had begun.

The New Night: Part 1

A figure stood on the balcony of the hall.

She (I'm assuming she's a she) was about as tall as Celestia. Her fur was pitch black, both her mane and tail were dark blue and dotted with stars. Her wings were sharp and angular and a sharp black horn protruded from her head. Her eyes, teal-green and cat-like, were completely cold as she scanned the crowd.

"Oh, my beloved subjects. It's been so long since I've seen your precious little sun-loving faces."

A shout sounded somewhere, followed by the sound of furious flapping wings.

The figure cackled. "Why? Am I not royal enough for you?" A hint of anger crept into her voice. "Don't you know who I am?"

She leaned towards the bird choir, frightening them away. "Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years?" She turned to the other pony on the balcony. "Did you not recall the legend? DID YOU NOT SEE THE SIGNS?"

"I did, and I know who you are." A lone light magenta-lavender unicorn spoke. The crowd parted in front of me. I squeezed through the ponies and to the front, watching the dark mare on the balcony.

"You're the Mare in the Moon," she continued, "Nightmare Moon."

Everypony gasped.

Nightmare Moon smiled. "Well, well, well. Somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here."

The unicorn in front of me started to stutter. "You're here to...to..." She lowered her head, afraid to say anymore.

Nightmare Moon laughed. "Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last. From this moment forth, the Night will last FOREVER!"

More evil laughter. It was accompanied by lightning and thunder from her mane.

I swear, it's like she read a book on how to be evil.

"Really? You'd expect ponies to remember you after you've been away for a thousand years?" The crowd parted. I stepped forth.

Nightmare Moon stilled.

I continued. "Also, with the 'evil laughter' thing, that's just cheesy."

Her eyes narrowed. "Who are you, you little foal, to tell me what I should do?"

I smirked. "The same foal who can do this!" In an instant, a gaping hole appeared behind her and some burnt hair.

All the rest of the ponies gasped and ran towards the exit, including the unicorn. She stared at me, shook her head in shock, and left with a purple sleeping lizard-like creature.

The hall became empty of the other ponies.

Nightmare Moon sputtered. "But-How? That's impossible! You're an Earth pony! Unless-" She stopped and sneered. "You're Celestia."

"Maybe~!" With that, I applied another illusion to make me look like Celestia. Her eyes widened. Her horn lit up.

"Come and fight me, you lowly coward!" A beam shot from her horn and towards me. I teleported away and behind her.

"Too slow."In a singsong voice, I shot a beam at her, but she blocked with with a shield. She then proceeded to shoot beams at me.

I teleported around while mocking her.

"Nope!"

"Can't catch me!"

"That was waaaaay too slow."

"Combat Tips 101: Actually hit the target."

"Really Lulu, you need to let it go~"

At the last comment, she screamed with anger, and a beam hit my leg.

"That hurt."

I didn't bother to look down, but I felt the wound heal. I started flying up into the sky with the moon behind me. Then I hovered in midair.

Nightmare Moon scoffed. "You think such lowly tricks would work on me?" She fired another beam, but was easily dodged.

I raised an eyebrow. "I didn't want you to follow me anyways." I lit up my horn, light gathering at the tip of my horn. "But here, I'll give you this."

The light grew bigger and rivaled the light of the moon both in size and intensity.

Nightmare Moon used her wing to block the light from her eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Something I've been wanting to do for a long time."

I "threw" the light down to the hall. It bounced on the floor a few times, then stopped.

I grinned wildly. "A magic nuke~"

The light detonated.

It let out a flash brighter than the sun, completely obliterating the hall. A shock-wave traveled through the air, shattering a quite few windows. And eardrums.

Smoke rose into a mushroom-shaped cloud.

Satisfied, I fell to the ground and blacked out.

Nightmare Moon stumbled and collapsed near the tree-like library. She was covered in magic burns, but they were slowly healing.

She was both stunned and confused.

Stunned because of the amount of magic that pony put in the spell and confused because Celestia hadn't attacked her before and did now.

That was truly a mystery.

She turned into smoke and observed what happened in the library.

".....Elements of Harmony..."

Oh, so these fools want to try and defeat her?

She flew towards the Everfree Forest, while a plan formulated in her mind...

Author's Note

Hi~!
Please review.
Also...
I need an editor!