Fallout Equestria: Sourpuss' Dossier

Chapter 1: Ministry Work
“The Ministry of Love was the really frightening one. There were no windows in it at all."

I began work at the Ministry of Morale within the next week, and it wasn't long before I became a symbol like the other directors. My duties, really, were left to me. I was to use my LSP to gauge the discontent from my city. Technically, I was the regional director for Manehatten and it's surrounding boroughs. But, since Pinkie spent just as much time in her Manehattan high-rise as she did in Canterlot, I was able to have a smaller and less impressive office in my home in south Bucklyn.

The building was a former warehouse, common in the former meat-packing district right next to the Bucklyn bridge. By the time pinkie found me, that area was already a popping Indy nightclub scene, so it wasn't hard for the ministry to buy and fund another one. The Logo for the ministry was much smaller here and more hidden then in the city, and our offices were soundproofed against the late-night parties... as well as distant gunshots It was often a pain to ignore.

Between days of working, I stayed in my home. A small two story brick building sandwiched among several others, it had started out as a two story flat with three apartments. After my, ahem, windfall I was able to purchase the building and install a powerful security system. You can call me paranoid, and your right, but when you see things my way it's hard not to be. The only other creature in my house the majority of the time, unless I held the obligatory house party, was my cat.

Tarter Sauce was just as grumpy as me, at least she looked it, even though she was adorable. My finding her had been an important moment in my childhood. See, I had been walking along when I felt a bit of malingering anger... a bit of pre-cognitive fear and pain. And I was young enough at this point to be so foolish as to try and save whatever was in pain from what was about to happen. I ran, hard, across a street and through an ally until I was right on the edge of the harbor, and there they were.

The delinquents felt, well, wrong when I came across them. And I had to stare at each of them in turn as they stared at me, running straight into the scene. They all wore matching jackets, something that back then was almost always just out of fiction, unlike today's idea of gangs. Anyway, these kids were all wearing matching red jackets and they were bigger than me by about two feet each.

The first was a gray maned blue Pegasus, who hovered above the others. Another was a green and red unicorn, looking like fucking heartwarming decorations, whop's horn held a stick. The third was an earth pony, who held a sack in his hooves, his brown coat and orange mane almost distracting me from the fact that the sack was moving. And, of course, being the foolish colt I was... I ran straight into him to knock the sack away.

Seconds later I was surrounded, but I could handle myself. I wasn't as strong as the other earth pony, but I could defend myself, and I proceed to do so. I hoped that the cat would run away, and it seemed that she had as I saw her tail dart around a corner. "Momma said she was deformed!" The unicorn said, slamming a hoof into me as his horn glowed brightly. "So we've gotta drown it."

I wasn't deterred, as I responded to his prattling with an uppercut, feeling the swoosh of magic nearly take my ear off. I was so distracted however that I didn't notice as the Pegasus slammed into me, pining me against the no longer stunned earth pony as he began to kick my back. I was taken... and I would have been sent right to the hospital if it wasn't for Tarter.

Tarter jumped on the Pegasus and began to rip his wings out, feather by feather. Sure, it would be easy to grow back but fuck that must have hurt because after a few seconds he jumped off me, and began to fly as fast as he could to get my cat off him. She eventually jumped off and he flew away, not looking back at his friends as we cleaned up. Tarter scratched the face of the unicorn while I turned around and gave the big earth pony a tackle of my own before pinning him to the railing, threatening to push him over.

The pair surrendered after that, which I suppose is fair. And it was then that I got my cat. I plead and begged my mom to keep her, though she was a bit weirder out by the odd shape of Tarter's face, and she eventually relented. Especially once I took off my over-coat and noticed my cat's face on my butt.

When I joined the Ministry, it was hard work, particularly trying to work in that environment. You see what it's like to go from a behind the scenes pony with a slow and steady job to being the face of a branch of a government agency. Especially one that's being run by Pinkie Pie... that mare was insane, to the point where I didn't know the day to day procedures because she kept changing them.

Thankfully, I was able to rest in my office the majority of the time. My job was to rely on my LSP and 'feel' out my city. There were others of course, at least 30 of us, but only pinkie knew the real extent of the LSP division. My main job ended up being to take drugs, which were supposed to make my senses more powerful, but mostly just meant that I was forced to use whiskey to drag myself down at the end of the night. How the hell else was I supposed to sleep?

My town was rough and tumble, to the extent that I was forced to be real analytical in finding out who was a real enemy of the state. Just about half of the population in Bucklyn was against the war, and nearly a quarter were actively supporters of the zebra side. The fucking bastards were everywhere, and it wasn't helped that my town happened to hold alot more than ponies.

Little Zebraca was just a few miles away from my office, filled with a majority of Zebra and Zony population. There was nothing we could do except watch everyone who was moving in and out of that ghetto, and watch a couple of really high level targets. There was this one zebra stallion, who moved in with a pony wife, who we knew used to be a former spy. He had defected, but we still kept an extremely close watch upon him. Including at least one pass-by by me every week... He was always clean.

Other prominent groups in my city were essentially all the non-ponies. Sure, they could live anywhere, but some folk just like to live in the same environment as they grew up in. So you had griffon filled sections where they all acted rough and tumble and gruff, and even the odd minotaur or dragon who preferred to live away from the ponies. And of course, the pretty and passive-aggressive face of our mare wasn't exactly going to give any of these people, or the rough ponies that lived on this side of town, pause.

And so it went that my face and my cutie mark were used as symbols, on those faded posters that plastered walls. 'I'm not happy unless you are' they said, with a picture of my frowning face above it. Everyone understood what the ministry of morale really was, at least alot of people did, so the people in my town understood what those posters meant. It was an outright threat of violence if they didn't cooperate, and it worked.

Footnote!

Quest perk.

Ministry Access (rank one): You are an acting director of the Ministry of Morale. You have access to high level facilities in your ministry.