Fallout Equestria: Sourpuss' Dossier

Chapter 4: Arcane Assholes
"Come on, cut the ghoulies a break. If they've got the caps and you've got the space, it's a win-win, right? So what do you say?"

The first time I left my city after the bombs was frightening, because it involved crossing the Bucklyn Bridge. Now, that might not sound like a harrowing journey, but if you know the area you know there isn't a Bucklyn Bridge. Well, I'm sorry to say, I might have helped to accelerate the blast's destruction just a little.

Walking across the wood-slated pedestrian area was something of love. Between the pedestrian sections was a road, parts of which had already fallen out because of the blast and the heavy carts that stood on it. Parts of it still stood, and occasionally I had to jump onto them to move across, as there were holes in the slated pedestrian-ways as well.

I couldn't help it but several chunks slipped from my hoof as I walked... noticeably more than I would have liked. While the walkway lasted a few more years after that, I was one of the few ponies that walked on it consonantly, and every hoof-step I placed down seemed to shake the foundations of the bridge, or break off a chunk of steel reinforced concrete. But this first time was still oh so sweet.

As I walked past the middle I thought about what I knew was below, a stable. I knew I had been scorched by the radiation, and that I was basically a walking contaminate of anyone in those things. Still, I wished I could have been inside one of those places, rather than where I had been. But my duty was to my country first... at least it had been when it still existed.

***

It took me hours of walking, but eventually I made it to the MAS hub. Back in those days, you could go pretty far without encountering anypony, though irradiated beasts still existed and would have been a nuicence. OF course, that was ignoring the fact that I was going with a cat who happened to like chancing after the quickly evolving irradiated rats and things.

On the way, she had distracted me for a good half an hour by trying to chance what I can now only assume was a bale-fire phoenix. I recognized the shape of the bird from shows, but the color... well, the cool green color freeked me the fuck out. I'd seen enough demonstrations to recognize zebra-fire...

Sauce never did catch that bird, but I don't blame her. You try catching and killing a creature made of near-complete fire. She didn't manage it, and honestly I'm willing to bet she got doused in a lion's share of rads. But she seemed pleased enough with herself, which is a feat that only a cat can preform after failing. Arrogant creatures they are.

In any case, we were finally standing in front of the hub building, and frankly we might have been glowing, it was hard to tell so early in the evening. I didn't bother with shit, I just walked up to the one door that they hadn't boarded up and waited for a response. "Ministry of Morale. Get the hell out here in the name of the princess."

I didn't get a response for a while. As if the time was passing me by in a river. And I tried to knock again, but still I ended up without a response. And yet, after a good twenty minutes, a window opened a story above me. "What the bloody hell do you want!" The pony said, a brown MAS unicorn with the markings of being the equivalent of middle management. Slo

"I want to talk to you about my city, you are still under the jourestiction of the princess' royal army and refusing an inspection by Morale could look pretty damn bad if you don't come the hell down here." I said, slamming my hoof down in seeming frustration. I wasn't realy sure how to express myself at the time, and that was good enough for my buck.

He nodded and stared closer at me, as I looked up my scarf fell and my hat revealed my face from shadow. Suddenly, he reeled in disgust. "What the hell are you?!" He asked, staring at my slightly patchy fur and skin. "We don't recognize the princesses no-more... but fine. I'll send someone down to look you over."

After some time, a stallion opened the door. He was wearing a radiation suit, a pale yellow that covered everything... Including his mane and tail. The only thing I could see was his face behind a clear glass pane, as he brandished a radiation counter at me. "Dear Celestia, what in her name are you?!" He asked, just like the previous pony had.

As the counter got closer to me, the loud clicking drowned out just about everything around me. It was so much that I only noticed Sauce on my back when she moved forward and batted at the thing, making the radiation spike and make a sound so horrible I was surprised it didn't shatter the stallion's mask.

"You shouldn't be alive, neither of you two should!" He said, staring at me. "I... we need to up security. I'm... 'sorry', but you can't come in here. Your fucking radioactive, you think we would let you come inside?" And without a second thought, the pony slammed the door in my face, using an intercom on it to speak. "Leave, get the hell out, this isn't your town any more. You and your... ghosts, zombies, whatever... You don't belong in pony socioty, your dangerous contaminants!"

I tried to talk to them again a few times but... they ignored me. I left when they posted guards that were ready to shoot. I hoped that no other... of whatever I was would have to experiance this. But I suppose I was probably wrong. Still, now I didn't have a mission... Now I had nothing to deal with in the mean time.

***

It took me a long time, but eventually I found it. The night-club turned MoM hub... The one primarily overseen by my direct superior, Pinkie Pie. I shouldn't have gone up there, but... I couldn't help it. Something forced me to walk up the stairs and hallways of the generously reinforced building.

Unlike my own offices, Pinkie had insisted that the skyscraper have at least some mega-spell shielding. But from what I remember, most of the production had been placed in preserving the massive monument... to remind everyone that even after death she would always be watching. I remember those offices so vividly, many of them with actual dead, while many others were surprisingly empty.

Nowadays I would loot the dead and gone. Nowadays I would try and get every drug I could from that place. Those days... Those days were not nowadays. Back then I didn't dare touch a single one of the people who I had worked with for years. I didn't dare disturb their rest. That wasn't to say that Sauce had the same reverence, and I had to stop her from eating my co-workers several times on my way up to that top floor.

If you know anything about the ministries, you might not be surprised about where I was going. Well, I was going directly to the mare herself, pinkie pie. I had spoken with that pink ball of excitement hundreds of times over the years, but... She had always trusted me, and in turn, I had always trusted her.

You might not understand it, but LSP... It changes you. Ponies like me and pinkie, we had to deal with knowing that pain was going to happen... although it was much more a constant issue for me. And, well, that created a sort of comradere between me and Pinkie. A sharing of a burden that was rare... and heavy as any could possibly bear.

So I marched into her office and saw her corpse, lying there on the floor... seeming as if to still be looking at what had happened just days... weeks? ago. And when I saw her I broke down. I cried. I couldn't tell you how long it took for me to get it out, but I can tell you that I ignored the passing of at least one night while I sat there...

Sauce was as reverent as I was, and didn't eat the cotton candy mare. She didn't bother with her at all, attending to me during the majority of our time... that was until she did something I never would have expected. She pawed at pinkie's hoof and revealed a statue to me, a statue of Twilight Sparkle, a statue of the mare that had gotten so angry at my minestry mare at the party last year.

Something about that statue called out to me, made me want it, made me want to hold it. But I ignored that something. Instead, I marched out of there and began to wander. I began a journey that lasts to this day, one that wouldn't take me back to my city for years. A journey that I am here, writing about.

Footnote!

New Perk

Ghoulification (rank 3): Well, here it is, you are no longer a pony, you are bonified undead. But don't worry, being a full ghoul comes with it's benefits. You now not only heal from radiation, but gain strength from large amounts of it! Just try not to become a glowing one, kay?