Rainbow-Mouthed Zombie-Ponies???
Nova, an off-white pegasus with Hubble-telescope-image-like hair, was going for a calm fly through the low clouds over Ponyville. Grey clouds had gathered, suggesting a storm was not afar off, but Nova couldn't find any pegasi managing the clouds. She didn't mind, nor pay attention: the day was hers, a break from her otherwise vigorous job as an Equestrian Law Enforcer. She glided lazily through the clouds, allowing her hair to flow with the wind. She breathed in deep, rather enjoying the feeling of the clouds as they rolled around her. All was well; Nova had entered into a state of deep relaxation, and she wasn't on the lookout for any dangers.
"That sound good to you?" Pinkie Pie asked, looking at Mayor Mare.
"Yes," Mayor Mare. "Only those ponies that wish to participate can. When should we put it into effect?"
"Well, it sounds like Rainbow Dash wants everyone to eat the cookies, so if calculate the time it'll take to pass them out, carrying the one and subtracting the negative of ponies chewing..." Pinkie said, a hoof to her chin as she thought hard. "We can carry out the actual prank later tonight, around dinner time. I'll tell everypony beforehoof to eat earlier and stay inside until Twilight gives the signal."
"Oh, this will be very exciting!" Mayor Mare said, jumping up and down on her tippy-hooves. "It'll teach her a very good lesson, especially after what she did to the town hall!"
"Ok," Pinkie said understandingly. "...What DID she do to the town hall?" Mayor Mare sighed.
"She somehow switched the pipes in the bathroom," Mayor Mare admitted. "Instead of flushing...well, let's just say I'm not exactly happy with all these pranks." She rubbed her flank absentmindedly.
"Alrighty tighty!" Pinkie said, skipping over to the exit. "I'll go do it! Toodles!"
Nova had gone far that day, farther then she thought she could. She had gone well past Ponyville, and she had to get home in Cloudsdale before the sun went down to start her shift. She eventually turned back, altogether happy. As she was flying back above Ponyville, she absentmindedly looked down.
No one was out.
Nova slowed down, as usually even a small town like Ponyville had ponies bustling about well into the evening. She stilled, and she heard nothing: no flaps from her fellow pegasi, nor any activities from down below. The only sound was the ominous wind and the darkening clouds.
A sense of apprehension came over her as she descended down to the city. It was her job, even off-duty, to ensure the safety of everyone in Equestria. She flew above Twilight's Castle and down closer, into the streets. She landed softly on the cobbled ground and began to trot around.
"Hello?" Nova called out, looking around corners. Nothing stirred. She trotted for a while longer, pondering what possibly could be going on, when she heard a shriek coming from a nearby house. She immediately became weary, and approached the house. It seemed to be some sort of pastry store. She was approaching the door when a cyan pegasus burst through the door and out into the air. Nova shook her head at how fast that pegasus was going.
"Cooo...kieees..." the sound came from the ajar door, which rocked back and forth on its hinges. Nova turned back to see two foals, barely old enough to walk, emerging in a quite eerie way from the darkness within. Both of the foals mouths were stained in rainbow colors. Their eyes were large, and vacant. They moaned, and walked toward Nova in slow, hoof-dragging steps. Behind them came two adult ponies, with the same rainbow-mouths and attributes as the foals.
"H-Hey, what's going on?" Nova questioned authoritatively, but this odd group payed her no attention, only moaning an unintelligible word that sounded like, "Oogies." They walked away from Nova, instead taking a westerly course. Nova flew up close, saying, "Hey! Answer me!" The adult male growled at her and swiped at her with one hoof, but otherwise walked forward. Nova landed, stupefied. She had no idea what was going on.
"And remember," Pinkie said. "Be committed. Be like a REAL zombie, ok? Even though we'll never call it zombies, because this show's rated TV-Y..."
"What?" said Mrs. Cake.
"Never mind," said Pinkie, shaking her head. "Just remember to be dedicated."
"Ohhh, I can be dedicated," said Mr. Cake.
"He loves the undead and other...unconventional things," Mrs. Cake said with a forced smile.
"Well, it's more like a hobby..." Mr.Cake said slowly. "Hey, maybe we can get the foals to do it!"
"Pound and Pumpkin?!" Mrs. Cake exclaimed. "How could they know how to act like the undead at their age?"
Mr. Cake smiled innocently. "Oh, I played with the kids...and..."
Understanding dawned on Mrs. Cake's face, followed quickly with a mild anger. "Carrot... Cake...I told you...not...to..." Pinkie Pie backed away slowly, sensing tension.
"I'll just go now. Please, uh, join if you want to!" Pinkie said nervously, although neither of the Cake seemed to hear.
Nova flew around, trying to locate Princess Twilight. She was not in her castle, so Nova assumed she must be somewhere in the village. Since Nova is a pegasus, she has very sharp eyes, and she was able to quickly find the purple princess. She descended on her quickly and noticed the cyan pegasus from earlier flying away.
"Princess Twilight, Your Majesty!" Nova called out just before she touched down. "Do you have any idea wha-" She stopped short as she saw the Princess. Twilight was a mess, her hair disheveled and her coat mushed around. Her eyes were wide, the pupil's large and her expression vacant. She had the same rainbow mouth, and as she talked she could see some mushed up mass in her mouth.
"Cook-k...eeees!!" Twilight said in a raspy voice. All of a sudden Twilight's dragon Spike jumped on Nova from behind, bringing her to the ground. Nova twisted to look up at Spike on top of her, scales floppy but talons sharp, with eyes that seemed to look both empty and full of fire.
"Cooooookieeees," Spike whispered, his forked tongue whipping in and out like a serpent. Grunting, Nova performed some self-defensive moves in quick succession. Soon she was free, and she took off, gasping hard as she flew as fast as she could to Cloudsdale.
"Are you sure?" Spitfire asked.
"Yes!" Nova said. Nova's boss, Captain Hardhead (a big, turquoise, muscly pegasus with a tuft of brown hair under his cap), nodded.
"If Nova confirms it, I'll believe it."
"But...how could this happen?" Spitfire asked, aghast. "How could an entire town turn into...mindless beasts?"
"This is not the time to wonder about the how," Captain Hardhead informed. "This is the time to take action. I've sent scouts and they have confirmed that the citizens of Ponyville are, indeed, behaving in a disturbing manner. We must quarantine the area. We'll dispatch troops with protective spells and equipment. We'll bring crowd control gear as well; Nova has stated that they may be aggressive."
"What?" Spitfire said, surprised. "Since when did the Equestria Law Enforcement ever have the stuff or the management for large scale objectives?"
"After Canterlot being attacked, the emergence of King Sombra, the Everfree Forest capturing the Princesses, Lord Tirek, Discord, Nightmare Moon, Sunset Shimmer, and Starlight Glimmer, Celestia has decreed that we 'up' our military quite a bit."
"Oh. Cool," Spitfire said. "So what d'ya need the Wonderbolts for?"
"Patrolling the skies. You must make sure no contagious ponies escape, assuming they are contagious. We're getting you special gear to protect you from the air, should the disease-if it is a disease-be airborne. Right now we're teleporting all our troops and equipment to the Northern border of Ponyville."
"Wow," Spitfire said, impressed. "You guys are actually going hardcore on this."
"We must," Captain Hardhead said. "Perhaps the Changelings have unleashed some zombifying pathogen; who knows? We're not taking any chances."
"Alright," Spitfire said as she stood up. "I'll go get the team and your gear. We'll start immediately."
"Good. Don't stop until we inform you to." Spitfire nodded and exited the briefing room. Captain Hardhead turned to Nova. "Nova, the ponies of Ponyville - nay, perhaps all of Equestria - owes you a huge favor. No one, off duty or on, was in Ponyville today. And perhaps they wouldn't even have gone down to the town to figure things out. I'll make sure you get a medal after this." Nova practically beamed with happiness.
"Thank you, sir," Nova said. "And may I also offer a suggestion?"
"Yes, but quickly."
"Well, I was thinking about the situation, and I believe that their rainbow-colored muzzles are correlated with their state of being."
"Most likely, yes."
"And I thought, what if they weren't zombie-like because of the coloration. What if they were zombie-like because they had rainbow-colored faces? Or if it was a side effect? It appears that the colors are only very close to the mouth, where one might eat...or drink."
"You think that the water could be contaminated?"
"It seems like the most logical possibility, yes." Captain Hardhead beamed down at Nova.
"Now that is what I call using your head!" Captain Hardhead gestured for Nova to follow him out. "C'mon. Your gonna be on the front lines with me."
The response of the Equestria Law Enforcement was very efficient. It was barely getting dark when they arrived: a small army of ponies, all clad in yellow protective suits and/or face masks. The Wonderbolts circled overhead, keeping under the clouds. Several unicorns, positioned in a circle around the entire city (including the farm and Zecora's house), cast a large shield spell that kept anypony from leaving. Ponies got in position with riot shields and weapons. Mages from all over Equestria began to filter in to aide with protection and anti-viral spells. Several scientists were testing the ground and water for signs of radiation, magic, etc. Nova was in regal armor, a gas mask glued to her face. She had a weapon strapped to her side, although she really hoped she wouldn't have to use it. Several other ponies, similarly clad, stood next to her beside the magical force field that encircled the city. She stared at it, noticing how it bent light to make it hard to see through it clearly. She was nervous and calm at the same time, reassured by the presence of a more experienced soldier (Captain Hardhead) and anxious to help the poor ponies of Ponyville.
"Alright, scouts suggest that almost the entire town's population is clustered near this barn here," Captain Hardhead said, pointing to a map. Nova and her mates nodded. "We will enter here, proceed through some orchard and quarantine the barn. Which will all depend on the state of the ponies. Signal once for backup, twice for retreat. You know the drill." He tossed the map to somepony and cracked his neck. He looked at everyone in the eye, waited, and finally nodded. Slowly.
The group of twenty ponies went in. Most of these ponies were recruits that had been raised in Ponyville, like Nova. They knew this city better then others, and were able to avoid any pinch points and away from possible sniper nests - of which there were none. The whole city was awfully quiet, which set Nova's teeth on edge. She felt like something was going to happen when she least expected it.
They continued onward, following the route they had planned earlier. They eventually came ontoithe field where the barn was; there wasn't a lot of cover between them and the barn. Hardhead nodded, and everyone fanned out. They moved across the empty field in a zig-zag pattern, being careful to keep low and in the grass. Every few steps they'd change direction erratically, while some would jump up, fly for a few meters, and then crouch back down, all the while covering each other with their magic or their weapons. Eventually, they reached the barn, where they could hear noises coming from inside.
The barn in question was large, and seemed to be in good use. Several windows were, however, broken, and Nova could hear groans of, "Coookieees," coming from inside. Nova glanced at Captain Hardhead, who was by the door with cry gas ready. He held up a hoof and mouthed silently:
One
Two
Three
Almost everyone in Ponyville was in the barn. They were talking about how the prank had gone, and how Rainbow Dash had been thoroughly scared. Some ponies were still reenacting out scenes of the attack. Lyra pretending to be Rainbow Dash, cowering in fear as Bon Bon came up, moaning, "Coookieees!" Lyra pretended to sob hysterically, and Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.
"I know, I know, I learned my lesson," Dash complained. "You can stop that." All of a sudden, the barn door whacked open. The force with which it was opened knocked over the barricade in front of it and splintered the door at its hinges. An official-looking pony in cool-looking gear came in, yelling: "DROP TO THE FLOOR! REPEAT, DROP DOWN, HOOVES BEHIND YOUR HEAD!" Everypony stood stock-still, looking at this newcomer. Twilight stepped forward and coughed.
"Mhh-hmm," she said...and that was all she got out. Two ponies dropped through the roof and landed on Twilight, one using a spell to knock her out. Soldiers flooded the room, and finally everypony from Ponyville dropped to the floor. More soldiers parkoured through the windows, and one cast off their invisibility spell. They leveled their weapons at the crowd, and Hardhead kept his cry gas ready. However, there appeared to be no zombies, nor any mayhem of any sort. Just a pile of Foal Scout cookies.
"Are we clear?" Hardhead yelled. The soldiers examined their area briefly, then yelled, "All clear!" Hardhead looked back at the huddling ponies. "Could somebody brief us on what is going on? We have had reports of a massive 'zombie' invasion." Applejack nudged Rainbow Dash. Dash clenched her eyes, took a breath, and said tentatively, "I think I can explain this, sir."
∞∞∞∞Two hours Later∞∞∞∞
Rainbow Dash stared at the letter in her hoof. Apparently, it costed a lot of money to use the Equestrian Law Enforcement. The letter was a bill - a decently chunky bill - and Rainbow Dash had to calm herself. She was not the only one to receive such a bill; everyone who had participated (especially the mayor) received a similar bill. Once the soldiers had left and Twilight came to, Twilight said she'd use her Princess-ness to, quote, "Relieve the financial pressure." It wasn't the cost that really effected Rainbow Dash, though; it was the thought that she had pretty much driven everypony to take reactionary actions to put her back in line and teach her a lesson.
It's all my fault; I should've known that I would've gotten in trouble, Rainbow thought.
Meanwhile, Nova was having a similar negative reverie. Nova was assured that, "It isn't your fault. I guess the Ponies of Ponyville are straight up strange folk." However, Nova felt that she should have been able to tell the difference between the zombie apocalypse and a town playing a prank on one pony. She felt responsible for the small debt the town was now in, and also embarrassed for drawing so much attention and worry to something that was of no concern (although some of these ponies may need to go through some psychiatric tests; I mean, seriously? How'd they teach their toddlers to be eerily convincing zombies?).
Nova was contemplating these thoughts, walking slowly through town. She had decided to stay behind and contemplate some more. The streetlights magically lit on as the sun dipped below the horizon, and Nova began to flap her wings lazily. As she ascended, she noticed somepony sitting on a roof. Curious, she fluttered over and saw that it was none other then Rainbow Dash herself.
"Hi," Nova said, sitting down next to Rainbow Dash, who still had the letter in hoof.
"Oh, hey," Dash said, recognizing Nova as one of the government ponies. "What is it? Do I get another bill or something?"
"No," Nova said, staring at the street below. "I just came to apologize." Rainbow Dash squinted in surprise.
"Apologize?"
"I'm sorry for completely ruining everyone's day and giving everyone that fine. Maybe if I had looked for the obvious, or something, I would've known that this was all fake."
"Hey, it's not your fault," Rainbow Dash said comfortingly. "They got me, and I'm not that easy to fool. They tried their hardest to be, like, the undead. It's not your fault, you were just doing your job. It was my fault for pranking these ponies as much as I did."
"Oh, it's not your fault. Those ponies should've told you in a more normal, realistic way."
"Apparently, they already did try to. I just was too stubborn to listen."
"Oh." They sat there, watching moths lazily gather under the street lights. Nova looked up and saw Canterlot, hugging the mountainside as it stretched into the sky. She thought of the Crystal Empire.
"Well, I gotta go," Nova said. "I'm gonna go to the Crystal Empire for a week to catch up with family."
"You have family in the Crystal Empire?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Ya. They moved in because they like crystals probably as much as King Sombra does," Nova joked. "See you around!"
"See ya," Rainbow Dash waved as Nova silently flew away, her hair morphing with the galactic painting above. She smiled to herself.
Well, I hope I never run in with the Equestrian Law Enforcement ever again.
