Seven Ways To Heaven

There wasn't anything to it, no fancy tricks, no spell, just hard work and maybe a little bit of tea between each session. Dealing with the nobles was the easy part, but the mountain of paperwork left in the aftermath of the invasion, along with the wedding, it was too much. It was times like this she had to thank the gods that she had help. Speaking of help, she believed the maid she had tasked with assisting her had been talking about something. But Celestia just... lost herself. No matter how much tea or coffee she drank, sleep would always find a way to get to her.

"Princess? Are you alright?" A voice asked, it was tiny, almost nonexistent.

Celestia's eyes snapped open for a moment before returning back to their usual calm state. Looking down at the maid before her, she coughed into her hoof. "Would you mind repeating that, I'm... not sure I heard correctly." The maid wore a look of worry on her almond colored muzzle. With amethyst eyes staring out from behind snow white mane.

"Oh uh... Ah okay, after a month and a half, and with everything summed up... There wasn't a lot of damage done to the buildings during the invasion, some collapsed walls, nothing major. There were some missing ponies cases but those were cleared up. Some wounded here and there but no casualties, one near death situation with a passenger on a train. It says here its in the hospital right now, being treated for lethal doses of changeling venom and blood loss after saving a train full of ponies from a number of the changelings. They say its in critical condition and they have no way of contacting family for the creature, the closest thing to kin they found was the mare that claimed to be with it and they aren't sure how to proceed as most of the treatments aren't working."

Celestia chewed her cheek. Somepony had almost died? It was amazing that almost her entire kingdom had gone relatively unscathed during the attack, she was thankful for the luck... But somepony in her kingdom wasn't as lucky. "I'd like a carriage readied for departure."

"Yes, your majesty." She bowed.

Celestia watched the maid trot from the room, using her magic to close the door behind her with a soft click. Returning her gaze to her room, she stared at the mess of papers, quills and empty ink bottles before her, she sighed. It was finally over. Craning her neck to look out the past the, she spied the sunrise just barely peaking over the horizon. "I'll have to thank Luna again," Celestia muttered with a yawn. "So patient with me these days."

Getting up from her spot the couch, Celestia trotted over to the door, using her magic she opened the door and out into the hallway, the sound of clopping hooves echoed down the marble corridor. It wasn't too dark compared to her room, but the curtains in the hall being drawn made a significant different as her eyes had to adjust.

"Up so early?" A voice asked from down the hall.

Turning her head to the left, Celestia narrowed her eyes down the hallway, spying Luna, her dark blue coat blended well with the shadows but the stars in her mane and tail, the little lights twinkling against the darkness, were a dead giveaway.

"You know me, Lu-lu, an early bird by nature."

Luna trotted over her to her, the light from balcony shined through the doorway and onto her form. She wasn't wearing her usual regalia.

"Sorry for making you raise the sun again, it's been... less than pleasant these past few days." Celestia bowed her head, wearing a small smile as Luna returned the bow.

"Think nothing of it." Luna's smile turned into a small frown as her eyes narrowed onto Celestia's face. The bags under here eyes were just barely noticeable with the light shining from behind her, but they were there. "You didn't get any sleep did you?"

Celestia laughed dryly. "Less than pleasant these past few days. The nobles just wouldn't give up trying to sneak things into the forms, I had a maid help me sort through most of it. I had to borrow one of your own by the way, so please give Bad Business a pass for today, such great help." Celestia raised a hoof to her muzzle as she yawned.

"I will see to it that she is rewarded for her services."

"Thank you," Celestia muttered once her yawn subsided. "Now... I have a carriage waiting for me."

"Off to visit a noble?"

Celestia smiled. "Something like that."

Luna shook her head as she chuckled, "Good luck to you then." Turning around, Luna began to trot back the way she came.

Watching Luna trot back down the hallway before entering a disappearing around a corner, she nodded to herself before a yawn came on. "Thank you, Luna. I'm going to need it."

The wood warped and cracked before his very eyes, embers rose up into the air like little orange fireflies lighting up the night. He heard their cries of anger and disgust as the torches in their hooves were added to the pyre that was the small shack. The heat of flames licked his face all the way from the bottom of the hill he was standing on, the snow beneath his feet beginning to melt as he watched the spectacle.

"What... is..."

It felt so familiar, yet he couldn't place it. Was this a dream? A memory? What was going on? How did he get here in the first place? There were so many questions, and little to know answers as he stared at the mob razing the house.

But just like that, the scene was gone. Replaced with the burnt corpse of the house barely standing as snow piled onto its fragile exposed frame. Embers still flickered with life, but died out as the wind and snow snuffed out what little life the house had left. The world was back to the white and grey he knew it to be. His eyes narrowed, and with a tentative step, he slowly began to move towards the ruined home.

The wind whistled a rhythmless tune with every step he took, slowly transforming into a sort of soft chiming the closer he drew to the house.

Standing before what used to be the front door to home, he looked just past a burnt beam of wood blocking the doorway from an angle. Reaching out, he grasped the charred wood blocking his way, pushing it away with an ease that made him jump as the blockage slid away and slammed to the floor. Throwing up ashes and snow into a cloud that muddied his vision of the interior.

Coughing as he fanned away the ash, he closed his eyes as he stepped into the collapsed building, opening them as the chiming of the wind became even louder.

"What the hell?" He muttered as he stared at the ashen floor.

There were trinkets scattered around, some half buried in the ash and snow, others clinging to bits of wood here and there. At the center of the destroyed home, he spotted a desk, and the source of the chiming. A phone sitting on top of a pristine cherry oaken desk.

It was an old rotary phone, black body with a golden trimmed dial.

Moving towards the phone, he picked it up, slowly bringing to the receiver up.

"H-Hello?" The words were almost a whisper.

"Hey, it's me again." It was his boss, the voice wasn't as bad as before, the whine was gone but the echo was still there. "Glad I found you."

"What the hell is going on?" He asked, no force behind the words.

There was only static coming from the other end for a moment before his employer spoke up. "Do you want the quick answer? Or the long one?"

"Wha—"

"Well we don't have time for the long answer so here's the abridged version... You're dying."

"...Okay?" He had no clue how to react.

"...That's it?"

"What do you want me to do, lady? Break down into tears and beg for my life?"

"Kind of, yeah."

He shrugged. "Sucks to be you doesn't it?"

"I'm not the one who's going to die."

"Well you got me there." Small chuckles escaped them. "So... How did it happen?"

"Hm? How did what happen?"

Turning around, he sat on the desk, staring at the home, watching it slowly get smothered by the snowfall, the flakes shining in the little amount of light cutting through the grey clouds above. "How am I going to die?"

"Well, after saving a train full of ponies from a life of hibernation and being nothing more than a fleshy bag of feed; brutally murdering a number of changelings. You were found by the guards tasked with clean up after the invasion. They took you, and the others to the hospital. Now you're sitting in a room filled with doctors trying to find out how to clean your blood of the changeling venom before your mind decides to take an everlasting dirt nap. They've already stopped the blood loss, and treated the burns you suffered when you busted through the shield made by Prince Armor."

"Brutally murdered a number of changelings?" So those bug ponies were called changelings?

"Well, the shield was meant to keep them out you see, and a train filled with them going eighty miles an hour, well... let's just say it was pretty messy." The person on the other end of the line cackled merrily for a moment before speaking back up again. "It looked like someone made a bunch of small cuts into a tube of toothpaste and tried to squeeze everything out. Absolutely nasty, you should have seen it."

"I think I'll pass on that."

"Boo."

Tapping his fingers against the wooden desk, he jumped up from his place on it, turning around to look down at the golden dial of the phone. "So what now? Was calling me just so you could say goodbye?"

"Oh no, you're far from done."

"How so?"

"I owe you more than I'd like to admit. Serving me without question for the years you've been here, well let's just say it's touching. You and your mare actually, if I could give two thumbs up, I would."

He hummed to himself, "Didn't really have a choice, but okay."

"And now that you're life is on the line, I'll be returning one of the many favors I owe you."

He gave a mock scoff. "Wow, my life is that meaningless to you?"

"Sorry but we've chatted long enough, it's time to get you back in working order. I suppose it's time to let you know a little about me."

There was nothing to prepare him for what happened next. One moment he was sitting in the burned down ruins of a home, the next he was floating in what seemed to be a void. Stars danced in the corners of his vision, but turning his head yielded no results, as if they were avoiding being seen.

"Now," his boss spoke, where the voice was coming from, he had no clue. It was as if she had surrounded him. "You're going to feel extremely violated, but don't worry, it'll be replaced by an extreme soreness when you wake up."

He twisted his body, turning his head to and fro trying to find the source of he voice. "What are you on abou—" His words were cut off as something slimy slipped into his mouth. His eyes snapped down to the offending object, only to see nothing but the abyss between his lips. Bring his hands up to his face, he tried to pry the slimy appendage from his mouth. Only for his hands to be slapped away by an unseen force.

"You really don't want to interrupt this." Just as the words were spoken, something began to pour down his throat, warm, thick, and fizzy. The liquid tickled on its way down to his gullet.

"This is really fucking disgusting, you know that right?" He attempted to ask, but his words only came out as muffled hums.

"Don't talk with a full mouth. Now, Celestia herself is on her way to meet you, you'll wake up with no memories of this ever happening so I have no need to worry about her learning about me."

His body began to hum as more and more of the strange liquid was pumped down his throat. There was no end to it, what was this stuff anyways?

"But what I am worried about is the idea that she might find out about what you do. You've already seen the reaction to what we do; hicks skulking around the backwoods don't take to kindly to being reminded of who they are, necessary or otherwise."

Images of the arson he had just witnessed shined out from the darkness. The fire brighter than before as it carved through the darkness like a hot knife to his retinas.

"Now imagine what's going to happen when she finds out you've been dealing cursed items to her little ponies."

His jaw creaked as the oily appendage forced his mouth open wider. Pouring more of its liquid down into his seemingly bottomless stomach. His body shook violently, what was once a low hum became a head splitting roar. His eyes squeezed shut as his hands moved up to either side of his head, trying to block out the noise.

"Don't get me wrong, the curses are barely even curses to begin with, but some just don't see a difference."

It was too much. He couldn't hold on any longer.

"But we do, you and me. We're the only ones here who can see the benefits to beating others down, showing them that they're more than just their desires."

The offending appendage that occupied his open mouth slipped away, leaving his tired jaw hanging there as it relaxed. Opening his eyes, he stood before a number of columns, all of them made up of different materials, barely reaching just past his hip. He remembered this.

"Choose."

Each one of them held an item, presenting him with a vial of purple smoke atop a pillar of carved wood, storms brewed behind the glossy surface of the glass; a dainty egg-white feather atop a pillar of rotting iron, the plumage enticing him with promises of respite and comforts beyond imagination; a crown of gold and silk with a pillar of glass to support it, the most gaudy and eye catching piece among the bunch.

His head shook softly. "I already know what I want." Turning his head all the way to the right, skipping over two others. He peered at a pillar of stone, cracked down the middle with a broken blade sticking partly out of the slab of concrete.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like the feather again? You seemed to have done just fine with it, well... until just a little while ago at least."

"Just fine isn't something I can afford to be anymore." Canterlot isn't the place to slip up.

"Are you sure?"

He simply nodded.

The world hummed. "Well alright then, so be it."

Dropping to his knees, he choked on the bile that rose up from inside of him, the sensation of a countless number of fingers crawling up the back of his throat before pouring out in a fountain of shimmering, translucent ooze. Spilling onto the floor and pooling around his clenched fists. It stopped just as soon as it started and he watched the ooze crawl over to the stone pillar, seeping in through the crack before the entire thing seemed to dissolve, leaving the blade floating before him.

"You are your words, and the words are you. I am the end, just as I am the words. Let them hear you and know the end."

His arms were forced apart as the words of his employer cascaded into his skull, thrashing around like a violent ocean trying to bring end to the sailors conquering it. He watched as the blade focused its point at him before throwing itself into his chest. The blade squirmed its way deeper into him. He couldn't hold on any longer, the world fading from him as the void grasped at the edge of his gaze with talons that carved at his vision.

"Let it be known, child of mine, that salvation lies at the end of a road paved with failure and misery. And you are the one to set this world back on that path, whether they want it or not."

In that moment, he knew everything. Who he was, the things he had seen, the things he had forgotten. The floodgates in the back of his mind broke away as the blade cut away the curtains, letting in the light that burned away the shadow of doubt. But the blade wasn't done cutting, hacking away at the memories, beating them back down where they had come from. He couldn't say anything as the answers he hadn't even wanted were stolen from him once more.

Cracking open his crusted eyes, he groaned as his very being throbbed and ached at the simple action. Groans became incoherent shouts as the light of the room burned his sensitive eyes. He watched as a pony's face hovered above his, staring down at him with wide eyes. A coat colored like grass on a spring day with an even darker green mane atop its head. A horn barely poking out of the wild unkempt mane.

"You're awake?" They asked, their voice wavering and scared, surprised almost.

Where was he? A hospital? "As awake... as the undead... can be... I guess." His lungs felt so small, straining in his chest as if every breath would make them burst.

The pony disappeared for a moment, a quill scratching at paper could be heard, but seeing it was an impossibility at the moment. "H–How are you feeling?"

"Like every... fiber of my... very being was... nearly beat to death." He hoped to god he was in a hospital.

"Do you remember anything? Your name, what happened to you, where you are, anything?"

"Not... a thing."

"W–What about relatives? The mare accompanying you? Bored Core, does that name ring any bells?"

A brow raised and the nerves in his face screamed. "Who?"