Seven Ways To Heaven

by Night Music

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Other, Romance, Human, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 16322

Seven ways into heaven, seven ways to fulfill your most basic of desires. This is what he offers. Pilfering promises from innocent ponies as he gives them an opportunity to make their dreams come true.

Seven ways into heaven, seven ways to fulfill your most basic of desires. This is what he offers. Pilfering promises from innocent ponies as he gives them an opportunity to make their dreams come true. To make their lives just a bit easier.

Published 2016-08-18 17:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-22 22:53:35 UTC

Chapter One: Love

The slums of Manehattan were never a place for civilized folk. The air, the surroundings, it all screamed out. Wanting more victims to hold with its clutches. Never wanting to let go as the city made you its own plaything. Keeping you locked away from the world outside. A blanket of smoke wrapping around you as it dragged you to the very pits of Tartarus.

"Well, that's how most of the ponies described it at least." He laughed. "Those ponies were posh snobs anyways, even if a little dirt gets under their hooves, it's like Tirek himself rose from the dead to end the world." He shuffled in his seat when he finished speaking.

Looking to the mare in front of him, he noticed her uneasy gaze. The corners of her hot pink eyes brought up in an attempt to smile. Her coat a light brown while her mane was an auburn red. The candlelight of the shop flickering and making the shadows of her soft features dance across her body.

"So, what can I do for a young mare like yourself?" He asked in a low tone. His voice echoing slightly through his dimly lit shop. Items hanging from the ceiling by thick ropes, no shelves in sight.

"My husband–" she stopped herself, looking to the floor as she did so.

"Husband?" He hummed. "Issues in bed? Can't get it up?" He asked.

Her eyes widened as her face flushed a deep red. "W–What? No! It's–"

He coughed, interrupting her before she went any further. "Sorry, that was a bad joke on my behalf." He said solemnly. "You noticed him looking at other mares more than he would you?"

She didn't answer.

"Jealousy is a leading factor to why most mares, married or otherwise, visit my shop." He gave a light chuckle. "It isn't uncommon, and never a bad thing to be jealous, it can show that your truly love him, but you feel like that love isn't being showed back."

Tears began to fall from her eyes as she continued to stare at the floor. Her body shivering as she choked on the lump in her throat.

He sighed, closing his eyes as he brought a hand up to his face. Dragging it down until it ran over his chin, letting it drop back down to his side. He gave another sigh before he spoke. "And that's why I am here. To help make everything better."

Reaching over the desk he brought the mare's head up. Making her gaze meet his own.

"Do you know the price of what I am selling?"

She shook her head.

"Not a single Bit, I don't want your money. What I want is your word. A promise. A favor." He gave a smile. "Nothing sexual, not that sort of favor. Just your word that you'll do one that I want you to do when the time comes. You can either come to me, or you can wait until I come to you. It depends on when you feel ready or not."

"W-What would I need to do?"

"Nothing sexual, illegal, or anything you wouldn't want to do. Those are my rules. All you have to do, is put your hoof in my hand, and shake, then I give you what you want and I get something in return."

He brought his hand back from her chin, but held it in front of her. "Now. Do we have a deal?"

She raised her hoof, but hesitated to let him take it.

"With my help. You won't have to fear about your husband leaving you. He'll never want to take his eyes off of you ever again."

She hesitated once more before letting her hoof rest in the palm of his hand, his fingers wrapping around it. She then began to shake her entire body. Her mane whipping back and forth as she did so.

The laughter that came from him boomed and echoed, feeling as if it were about to shake the shop to the ground.

She stopped shaking. Looking back up at the strange creature.

"No no no, like this." He lifted her hoof upwards, than let it drop back down. "That's a shake."

"Oh," she blushed once more. Repeating the motion as she lifted his hand and let it drop.

Letting go of her hoof, he leaned back in his chair. "There will be a necklace hanging from the ceiling to the left of the door. Take it, but don't put it on until you are with you loved one. Do you understand?"

She nodded. A smile on her face as she fiddled with her hooves.

"Go on then, and watch out. Ponies around here are dangerous, especially to pretty mares like yourself."

She giggled as she got up from her seat, nearly tripping over her own hooves as she trotted to the door. Looking up and to the left, she spotted the necklace he spoke about. The necklace itself was made from gold and shaped to form a number of flowers linked together by the petals. A single dark pink gem studded the central flower, the candle's light making the gem sparkle and shine as if the night sky itself was trapped inside.

She stood on her hind hooves and plucked the flowers from the rope with ease. Looking back to the creature at his desk, she took the necklace in her hoof. "Would it be rude to ask what you are before I leave?"

He chuckled. "No. Do you want to know?"

She nodded in reply.

"I am human, just like you."

An eyebrow on her face rose while the other fell. "But I'm a pony."

"We are both thinking, feeling beings. We both have wants and dreams. That makes you just as much a human as I am, and me just as much as a pony as you are." He rose from his seat, his face becoming blocked by the seemingly infinite items that hung from the ceiling, spreading his arms outwards as he spoke. "Family in nothing but the connections we share as two kindred souls living in this world, trying to make our dreams come true before we lose the chance."

He sat back down. "Now go on. Go be happy for the both of us."

She smiled. Bowing her head before leaving the shop, the door opening and closing with a small jingle.

As the silence began to retake the room, he smiled. Grinning as laughter began to rumble from the back of his throat.

"Now all I do is wait," he said as he quieted down. His laughter dying as fast as it came. "True happiness is something you earn. Coming to me for happiness was the biggest mistake you could have ever made."

Leaning back in his chair, he kicked his feet up onto the desk. Sighing as he relaxed and began to drift into the land of dreams. Hoping to get a visit from a certain princess.

"Maybe I can strike up a deal with her as well," he mumbled before a weak chuckle escaped from him. "Maybe some day."

As he fell asleep, the candle flickered and whipped violently. An offending light trying to snuff it out. And in the blink of an eye, the shop went dark. The world disappearing entirely as the light died and he fell asleep.

Author's Note

Well, my first attempt at a drama. Let me know how it turns out.

Chapter Two: Respect

It wasn't always like this. He didn't always have a shop. Long before any of this, he roamed the land, selling his wares to any unlucky soul that might have been delusional enough to trust him. Thinking his trinkets would do anything for them. That they would make their lives just a bit easier.

He even heard one of his trinkets helped a pony overcome her own weakness and become a ruler for a short period of time before succumbing to her own inflated pride. Thinking there was an equal to the amulet she wore. Wanting nothing but the best.

But to say that the items he was selling were his own would be a lie. None of the items he has ever sold, and will sell, are not of, or will be, his own creations. Pride isn't something he can ever feel. Robbed of the joy that could have been felt if he himself had made something someone else would want. But this was his calling. What the world wanted him to do.

Nobody can ever sell happiness. No one can ever sell satisfaction. What he sold was despair. He sold reminders.

That was what he could take joy in. He was the one who would kick another while they were down. To laugh at their misery while trying to forget about his own. Trying to forget that the ones he was giving hope, were exactly like him. And he knew this. Every time he would give out a reminder, he would get a promise. Something he could never do to himself.

This was his duty.

Humming quietly to himself, he walked around his shop, taking care to avoid the various items and trinkets that hung at eye level. He traveled to the front of his shop, far beyond the reach of the candle's light. Where the items that hung from the ceiling grew sparse.

Eyeing the door to the world outside, he continued to hum. Thinking to himself as he tried to decide whether he wanted to advertise or not. Advertising certainly brought potential customers, but it also brought would be vandals, thieves, and the occasional drunken window shopper. Even if his store had no windows.

Nodding, he raised a hand to the knob and twisted. Opening the door with a creak, light began to spill into his shop as the door opened wider and wider. Soon, his entire shop was engulfed in the light of the sun. Various items that hung from the ceiling shined with the same intensity as light reflected off of them.

Stepping outside, the effects of the outside world were immediate. The noise, the smells, the sights. Everything screamed Manehattan. The almost rhythmic marching of hooves hitting pavement. A miasma of cooked foods and sputtering machinery thickening the air. A sea of various Ponies, Griffons, and the occasional Minotaur all moving, never stopping.

He smiled. This wasn't home, but it was close. Close enough.

These may have been the slums, but this didn't stop the inhabitants from trying to make a living. Trying to make something of their lives as they forged on.

Looking down at his side, he found that his bag of Bits were still fastened to his belt. Shutting the door behind himself, he made his way into the city.

His attire wasn't anything special. A pair of pale cream white jeans covered his lower half, held up by a rope that acted as a belt, with a dull grey long sleeved shirt covering his upper half. His pay didn't allow for him to have clothes tailored for him, so he learned a spell that acted as a wash for the clothes themselves. The spell taking a toll on the colors of his clothing as the pants used to be blue, and his shirt had been black. He didn't really care though, something to wear was all he was grateful for.

As he made his way through the crowd, he turned to his right and walked to the side of the road. Raising his hand, he shouted out. "Hey! Need a ride over here!" His voice booming over the hum of the city.

Almost immediately, an open topped carriage came to a grinding halt in front of him. The Earth Pony mare pulling it swung her head, motioning for him to get in.

Reaching a hand for the door, he froze as he noticed a hoof reaching for the same one.

"Oh, my bad," he said as his hand recoiled. Looking over, he smiled as he recognized a familiar face.

It was the mare from last night. The one who had taken the necklace. And lo and behold, wrapped around her neck was the very same necklace.

"Oh hey! It's you!" He exclaimed, spreading his arms out and to the sky as the mare turned to him. A questioning look on her face before realization washed over her.

"Hey! Hi! I almost didn't recognize you!" She laughed. "You look so different in the light. Want to join me? I was just going to work and I wanted to thank you once I came back."

"Sure," he said with a nod and a smile. Reaching for the door, he opened it and swept an arm to the cab. Letting her get in first. Climbing in after her, he closed the door. The driver shouted back to them.

"So, where are you headed?"

"I need to be dropped off right next to the printing company, Pressed Press." She shouted in reply.

The driver nodded, beginning her journey as she pulled the two of them down the road.

"What a coincidence. I have to stop by there." He said, giving a sigh of relief. "Saves me the trip."

She looked worriedly at him "Are you collecting a favor?"

He nodded. "Someone there bought something from me a little while ago and hasn't stopped by, so I think it's about time to collect. Probably avoiding me like some of the others."

"Do some run away?"

"Oh yeah, tons." He shrugged before grinning. "Why? Are you thinking of running away?" He gave a mock glare at her.

She raised her hooves and waved them in the air while shaking her head back and forth. "Not at all! I've never been happier. My husband has never treated me like he did last night. He wouldn't stop telling me how–" She paused, lowering her head as she fidgeted with her hooves.

He leaned. "How, what?" Turning an ear towards her.

"H-How beautiful I was," she muttered.

He cooed. "Aren't you adorable." He laughed as the mare shrunk into her seat. "Isn't it great? To be in love?" He stretched his arms to the sky as he gave a sigh.

Looking up at him with an eyebrow raised, she spoke up. "Are you in love?" She asked, her turn to lean forward, waiting for an answer.

"I could never say no!"

"Who is the lucky mare? Or human... mare?"

"It's you!" He shouted. Causing her to recoil at the intensity, her eyes wide from the answer.

"M-Me?"

"Yes! You! My customer! Every single one of my customers brings me so much joy when I find out I helped them! This feeling can't be anything else but love!"

She laughed. "It's nice to see that you care about us."

He laughed along with her.

They decided to have idle chatter the rest of the way. Once the carriage stopped, the driver looked back. "That'll be thirty-five bits please."

"How about this. I give you forty-five, and you wait here until I get back. Won't be long, five minutes tops. I'll even pay the same for the return trip, sound good?" He asked, waggling his eyebrows.

The coal colored mare pouted before nodding. "Make it quick though, time is money after all."

"Right you are!" He jumped from the carriage. "Oh and..." He turned back to his new friend.

"Rose. Rose Wind." She said.

"Rose." He nodded quickly. "That necklace around your neck?"

She quickly looked down at it before looking back at him. "Yes?"

"Ask your husband what he thought of you before you began wearing it." He chuckled before continuing, "Jealousy can be a healthy thing to feel, but it isn't always warranted. You might learn something if you just talk things out."

Turning around, he swung an arm up and placed his palm on the glass door in front of him. Pushing it open, he stepped inside and off of the street. Leaving the mare in the carriage with so many questions, but no answers.

"Now to play the waiting game," He said as his shoes began to clack on the floor below him.

"I wanted that story printed an hour ago!" Newsworthy shouted. The dirt brown cap atop his head slipping slightly as he ran around the office. Carrying various papers and scrolls in his magic. Dodging ponies and printing machinery alike.

This was Newsworthy. Not his real name of course. Newsworthy was the name that went on the papers. His real name was and still is, Barren Sheet.

"Ironic. I know." He muttered as he watched Barren scuttle around the office.

Barren was never what he was today. He was a meek Unicorn when he entered the shop. Now, after having bought from him, he gained the means to go out and become one of the best reporters to ever grace Manehattan. Becoming the head honcho of Pressed Press. Earning himself a life of luxury as his pay rose higher and higher. The more time went by, the more the cap atop his scrawny head affected him.

Stepping into the office, he noticed the path that Barren was taking. He moved to step into his path. Coughing as the smell of ink slogged his lungs.

"Hey hey hey! Watch it!" Barren shouted as he came to a grinding halt, his hooves slipping on the tiled floor as he did so, this caught the attention of everyone in the office. The cap atop his head slipped down and covered the sight of the human. Raising a hoof to adjust it, he moved it back to the top of his head, in between his grey furred ears.

His eyes widened at what he saw.

"Hey! Barren!" The human greeted with a shout. Spreading his arms and leaning down as he gave the unicorn a hug. Said unicorn tried to escape. Wriggling and writhing as he tried to escape the human's clutches.

"So are you happy to see me?" He asked as he stepped back.

"N-No? What are you doing here?" He said, his eyes darting back and forth from the human to the papers that floated in his lime-green magic.

By this time, the sound of machinery stopped. All eyes were on the two of them. None of them had ever seen Newsworthy act the way he was acting now.

"Oh you!" He wagged a finger at him "You know what I'm here for! I'm here for that favor you promised me."

Whispers began to permeate the room as ponies turned to each other before returning their gazes to them

"Fine fine. What do you want? Your name in the paper? Money? Vacation tickets the most tropical resort in Equestria?"

"None of that," He said with a shake of his head. "You know my rules." He began to list them off on his fingers. "No sex. No money. And nothing illegal. What I want is a favor."

"What is it already?" He shouted. Sweat dripping from his brow, muddying his coat as the sweat and dried ink mixed into his already dark grey coat.

"Give it back."

"Give what back?" He chuckled nervously.

"My virginity," he mocked. "No, the hat!" He shouted.

"N-No! You can't have it! It's mine!"

He began to crack his knuckles. "If you don't want to give it back, I'll have to lay down some emotional beatings on you."

"Somepony call the guards! This monsters crazy!"

The moment he finished speaking, a pair of guards walked up from behind the human. Their grey armor dulled to match the very stone streets they patrolled.

"What seems to be the issue? Somepony came down to tell us about a commotion." One spoke, his tone baritone and groggy as if he had just woken up.

Barren scurried to their side. "This... monster was threatening me!" He pointed at the human with a shaking hoof. A smile hidden as he lowered his gaze to the ground.

The guards looked at the human.

"Is this true?"

He looked between the guards. One sky-blue and the other an eggshell-white. His eyes snapped back to the sky-blue guard. A smile making its way across his face. "Bars, is that you?" He asked the sky-blue Earth Pony.

The pony in question had widened eyes.

"It is you! How's it been man? Wife and foals doing well?"

He only nodded. Not wanting to speak.

"That golden voice of yours not good enough for show business?"

He shook his head, his usually blue face was now a bright red as the guard next to him was trying to hold back laughter.

"I-I needed discipline in my life. After you came to get a favor from me, I didn't know what to do. I-I was just always so angry. With myself. My job. My family." He bit his lip as he sucked in air. "I ended up being sent away for a while."

He gave a sigh. "I can visit the foals once in a while."

"That's nice. Now let me ask you this, it's been a long enough time to think about it, and I know you, you already have the answer." He paused. Scowling at him as he spoke. "What did you learn? That's the only question I'll ask, then you can forget about any of this happening. Meeting me, going into that store."

"That I'd be the father I promised my wife I would be. For her and my children. Even if it meant giving up a part of me. Loving my family comes before my pride. It comes before me."

He nodded. "Good. G-Good." He choked. "Now. You know what I'm doing. Are you going to stop it?"

He shook his head and bumped a shoulder with his partner, the armor clanking together. Motioning with a wave of his head for the door.

As the two guards left. The human extended a hand towards Barren. "Hat. Now. This doesn't have to get uglier than it will be."

Barren whimpered as the hat atop his head was encased in his magic. Floating it over to the human, he let it drop onto his hand.

With the hat in his hand. He turned to the ponies on the room. Barren's co-workers. His peers. "Now. I want to ask you all some questions. Answer with a hoof raised high so both Barren and I, can see you."

There were murmurs among the crowd, but no objections.

"How many of you like that Barren works in your department?" There were more murmurs before two hooves among the group of thirty ponies were raised.

"Why do you like him, might I ask."

"He makes money!" A voice shouted out, an agreement followed.

"Fair enough." He nodded. "What about the rest of you?"

Silence.

"How many of you hate his guts." It was slow at first but soon, nearly all of the ponies in the room raised their hooves. Looking down at Barren Sheet, he asked him a question. "Why do you think they hate you?"

He only lightly shook his head, not wanting to look the human in the eye as he muttered three words. "I don't know."

"I think I know why." He said, presenting the hat. Drawing Barren's gaze to it as his eyes snapped towards it. Bringing it up next to his face, he forced Barren's eyes to meet his own. "Because of this hat." He paused. "You became what you always wanted to be. An evil, greedy, little shit who couldn't care about anything else but the bag of Bits he got at the end of the day. You wanted to be able to boss ponies around, using them as a means to get your next raise. Am I right?"

He choked. Trying to fight back tears as he shook his head.

"You treat more than half of the ponies here like dirt, don't you?"

He shook his head again, this time weaker than before as tears began to fill his eyes.

"When you walked into my shop, I saw a pony who couldn't walk five hooves in any direction without worry about what somebody else thought about him. You want to know what I see now?"

Barren sobbed. Falling to the floor as he shook his head. Tears flying in every direction as he did so. "P-Please~" He cried.

"I see that very same pony. Trying to make his way through the world, leaving nothing but a trail of crushed and defeated ponies in his wake. I see someone who wants nothing more than to be excepted, and looked upon with respect as he speaks his mind."

Getting to a knee. He took Barren in his hands. Lifting him as he stood back up. Taking him to the group of ponies in the room. He sat him down before them in a chair, his eyes puffy and soaked with tears as snot trailed down from his snout.

"Everybody." He spoke. Gathering the gazes of the room. "Please welcome back the old Barren Sheet. I know it's going to be hard forgetting whatever he's done. But for the sake of everyone here, do me a favor, forget it." He turned around and made his way to the door of the office.

Before his hand reached the latch, he turned around. "Oh yeah, and if anybody here has someone who needs a lesson. Send them to the shop with no windows and no sign down in the slum's marketplace. Don't tell them about any of... this. Just tell them to tell me about their problem. Okay?"

He stepped out of the office, giving a sigh of relief as the weight from his shoulders lifted. He rolled his neck before making his way back outside of the building.

"That was way longer than five minutes." The driver said as he stepped back into the carriage. The streets nearly dead as everybody was either at work, or at home.

"Yeah, sorry about that," he mumbled.

The driver looked back and shrugged. "It's fine. Just remember about what we agreed on."

He chuckled weakly. "Yeah yeah, I know. A night full of fun and excitement."

The driver laughed as she began to pull the carriage.

He doesn't sell happiness. He doesn't sell joy. He sells despair, reminders of what you wanted to become. He derives joy from kicking others while they're down, only for them to be brought back up, better than they could have ever hope to be. Pilfering promises from innocent ponies foolish enough to believe that what they're buying can make them better. That it can make them happy. But it never does.

"Happiness is earned."

This is his duty.

"To make others earn their happiness."

Chapter Three: Retribution

"Well, here we are. Store with no sign or windows. That'll be ninety-five bits please." The mare looked back up at him. Her peach colored coat glistening with sweat in the mid-day sun.

"Ninety-five? I'm pretty sure we agreed on forty-five." He frowned.

She frowned back. "And I'm pretty sure you didn't even pay me for the first ride." She retorted.

His eyes widened. "Oh shit."

She nodded with a grin that stretched from ear to ear. "Oh yeah, now, pay up."

Looking down at his pouch of Bits, he untied it from his belt. Opening it up he counted the golden coins. "Five, ten, fifteen..." Quieting himself down as he began to count in his head, the sound of clinking coins the only thing left.

"I've got ninety, is that good enough?" He asked, chuckling nervously. The heat of the sun beating down on his already sun-kissed skin.

The driver turned her nose up to the sky. "Nope. Ninety-five is the penalty for not paying me the forty-five for the first ride."

"I get paid in like an hour, you can come in and take that if you want to wait for it." He offered.

She shrugged. "Eh, sure. I'm off in an hour anyways." She unhooked herself from the carriage. Walking up to him as he stood there rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, lead the way."

He moved to open the door, twisting the knob at the same time as he pushed. Once more the door swung open and flooded the room with light.

Looking into the room, the mare gawked at all the items that hung from the ceiling. Trinkets and knick-knacks of all shapes and sizes swinging gently as the wind from the door opening disturbed their peaceful slumber.

"What in the name of Celestia is this?" She walked inside, her head turning this way and that as she stared on. "Oh god, you're one of those psychos aren't you?" She looked back as she feigned fear.

He laughed dryly. "Yeah, you fell for my trap. Time to cut you up into little bits and feed you to the pony eating pigeons." He said, his voice carrying no emotion.

"Alright alright. No need for that. But for real, why is it all hanging from the ceiling? Haven't you heard of shelves?" She looked back at him with a raised eyebrow.

"This isn't my choice of design, alright?" He massaged his temples. "I mean, I guess it's supposed to mean something. The person who pays the check doesn't tell me, okay?"

"Are you sure they ain't a psycho?"

"I wouldn't know. Never met them."

"You've never met the pony who pays you?"

"Nope. They pay me to do what I do, so I don't complain. Keeps food in my stomach and a roof over my head."

She trotted over to the desk and placed a hoof on it. Looking back at him she asked, "What do you do? I only heard you collect favors. You're not in the Manehattan Mafia are you?"

"Nothing like that. I help ponies. I give them something hanging from here that could help with their problem. They pay me in a favor. I get payed bits for receiving said favor. And so the lights stay on."

"Sorry to say but, all you've got is a candle." She laughed.

He grinned. "Yeah, I didn't say I was rich did I? It's a hundred times better than what I use to do though." He closed tbe door behind him and moved past her. Proceeding to sit in his chair, kick his legs up as he leaned back and sighed. "I basically just wandered the country doing what I'm doing now."

Neither of them spoke for a solid five minutes before the mare spoke up. "So what do you do for fun?"

"Sit here." He said simply. His eyes not opening as he continued to lean back and relax.

"No, like what's your hobby?"

"Try to count how many strings of fiber make up the braids of rope from here."

"You don't drink?"

"Alcohol here doesn't do anything to me, it's like drinking juice."

"No sports?"

"What sport? Pretty sure any team I join would probably win, you guys are pretty tiny after all. Fast, sure, but you guys get tired in the blink of an eye, so..." he shrugged.

"Reading?" She pressed further.

"Fuck that." He said, snapping his fingers with each syllable. "I'm lucky you bastards speak english. But it's like a child had a seizure when they wrote out your alphabet."

"Well you're just a ray of sunshine aren't ya?"

Opening his eyes, he turned his head to meet her gaze. "A ray from the very same sun that sits on Celestia's ass."

She snorted. "Life of the party."

"You bet your fuzzy little head. Party of one!" He closed his eyes and let his head fall back. "Well. I'm tired, gonna have a nap now."

Her eyes went wide. "Wait, what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, count the fibers in the rope, there, boom something to do." He mimicked an explosion with his fingers, and waved her off.

"No! I don't want to go crazy." She cried.

"Fuck it, nap with me."

"Where am I supposed to sleep?"

Raising a hand, he patted his chest. Letting it fall back down onto the arm rest.

Her face immediately flushed red. Sputtering as she tried to speak. "W-W-What?!"

"Good God," he groaned. Letting his legs drop back to the floor, he leaned forward and reached towards her with his arms. Grabbing underneath her foreleg, he lifted her and brought her towards him. Leaning back once more, he settled her down on his chest, draping on arm across her as he gave a sigh.

As she laid there, red faced she didn't dare to move.

"Just, go to sleep already." He mumbled, his voice sounding as if he was on the edge of unconsciousness.

"W-What's your name?" She asked, trying to keep him from falling asleep.

"Fucks sake, I don't know."

"You don't know your own name?"

"Nope, never did, probably never will."

She sat silent for a moment before asking, "Do you want one?"

"I don't fucking care, call me Barry."

"Barry?"

"I swear to everything holy in the heavens above, if you don't go to sleep. I will cut you up and feed you to the pony eating pigeons."

She didn't speak after that.

Once enough time past, she could hear the strange creature begin to snore. It was more like a soft humming than actual snoring, at one point, she thought he was awake, just faking being asleep but decided not to test it.

After even more time passed, she found herself falling asleep as well, the heat that radiated from his body coaxing her, making her eyes heavier and heavier as time went on.

The soft humming of her bed fading away into the distance as she fell away from the world.

Author's Note

End of part one. So what do you think? Mediocre right? If even that. Part two? I don't know, if it's wanted by enough people I guess.

Chapter Four: Offerings

As the shop sat in silence, the two occupants slumbered. Peaceful smiles on their faces as the world around them didn't matter.

That was before a shrill chiming woke them. Jumping from the seat, he launched the now screaming mare a cross the room. "W-What's the haps?" He mumbled, his voice groggy and slurred. "The fuck is that noise?"

Getting up from the floor, the mare groaned. "What was that for?" She asked. Her pink mane poking out at various angles.

Looking down at the desk in front of him, he spotted the source of the noise. Something that wasn't there before he had gone to sleep. A rotary pone. Listening to it chime for another minute, he reached a hand as he lifted the receiver from its cradle. Bringing it up to his ear, he spoke. "Hello? This is... This is a shop with trinkets, how can I help?"

"Yes hello, is this Barry?" The voice was sharp, almost sending the phone on a fritz as it whined. He held it away from his head. Trying not to go deaf.

"Who?" He asked. An eyebrow raised.

"Barry, is this the human named Barry?"

"You've got the human part right, but I don't know anybody named Barry."

"Well whatever your name is. I'm your boss."

"Cool. What do you need boss?"

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line as the person. His eyes were drawn to the mare as she trotted towards him, stopping to move a hoof to her mane, trying to fix the bed head she had received laying on the human.

"Didn't you say your name was Barry before you fell asleep?"

He shrugged. "It really isn't though, ever since I ended up here I've never found out what my name was."

The voice on the other end of the line coughed, catching his attention. Putting the phone back up to his ear, he spoke. "Yeah?"

"So that's it? You're not going to ask any questions?"

"Yeah, what do you need me to do?"

"What if I was the one who brought you here?"

"Couldn't care any less than I already do. I've been here for years, even if I did find out where I came from, what good would that do?" He shook his head and sighed. "It'd only make me want to know what home was like. I would want to find out why I was picked and not someone else."

"You've thought about this before haven't you?" The mare asked.

He let the hand that held the phone drop to his side. The curled wire that connected the receiver to the rest of the phone dangled by his knee. "I've had enough time in Equestria to think about what I want in life. Trying to find out where I came from and why I was here would be the biggest waste of my time."

"Truly?" The phone asked. The voice on the other end different this time. Instead of a near shriek, it was soothing and sounded as if the one on the other end was a singer.

"I guess. I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food to eat. Admittedly, I wish I could afford more than one pair of clothes, but I got use to wearing the same thing ever day."

The mare's face blanched in disgust. "I don't even wear clothes and that just sounds disgusting."

He shrugged. "I have a spell that can clean them." He hummed. "So what did you call for, boss?"

"I wanted to tell you that we're moving. And by we and mean you and the mare."

"Whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean move?"

"And why am I being moved as well?"

The phone chimed. "Why? Because it's time to hit a new group of ponies. The rich are careless with who they hurt. The feelings they feel can be a good thing, but they took it to far. Tainted the meaning. And it's time to give them a reminder of who they are."

"Alright." He muttered, unsure of what to think. "You said I'm taking..." He turned his head to look at the mare before him. "I don't even know your name."

She smiled. "Bored. Bored Core."

"Aren't you the life of the party," he mocked.

"Not like that," she laughed. "I used to be a digger back on a rock farm."

"Rock farm? Let me guess, they farm rocks."

She nodded in reply.

"So I'm taking Bored with me, why is that?"

"In all the time you've worked for me, she's the first one you haven't even tried to make an offer to. I thought that was interesting." The voice said simply. "I thought that she'd be the first friend you could ever make in this line of work. For the first time, you actually ended up owing someone something."

"So? It was just bag of Bits." His upper lip twitched.

"A bag of Bits is just as powerful as a favor. You'd know what Bits can do to a person. With enough money, you could tell Celestia herself to lick the bottom of your shoe."

He laughed. "Oh, no amount of money can corrupt someone who's seen the evils of greed first hand. You can wave that bag of Bits all you want, she'd never bend."

"You've seen what money can do, does that mean you'd never bend?" The voice's laughter chimed like bells swinging in the wind. "Don't answer that. I already know since I am the one paying you after all."

"There's a difference–"

"Is there?"

The room fell silent as he sneered at the phone. The muscles in his jaw writhed under his skin as he ground his teeth.

"Both you, and Bored here will be moving into a small mansion in Canterlot. You'll have to lay low after every favor you collect. The nobles love their gossip. And if word gets out, you'll have the Royal Guard crashing down your door."

"But you pay me after every favor, how am I supposed to get enough Bits to get stuff like food? I could barely feed myself, let alone another."

Humming was heard from the phone. "Think of this as a raise. You've lived the life of a beggar, wandering around and scraping the bottom of the barrel as the world moved on without you. This little shop here was a step up. You could live somewhat comfortably, but you had to work for it." A sigh. "Once you get to Canterlot. Have some fun. I think you said something along the lines of, Be happy for the both of us."

"That was just something I said to make a sale." He said, a smile stretching across his face.

"That was said after you gave her the necklace."

He had no reply.

"There are those who say the original of something can't be an imitation. But I say the original is the ultimate fake."

"What kind of fucking drugs are you on?"

The phone clicked as the person on the other end hung up.

"Well that's great. I got a raise." He said, slamming the phone onto the table a moment later. When plastic met wood, the phone shattered. "Fuck!" He yelled, his hands held the sides of his head.

"Isn't a raise good?" Bored asked, confused at his reaction.

"Good? No. Great? Hell yes. But do you know what Canterlot is like?"

She shook her head.

"Canterlot is a place where elitists fester and conglomerate. Me being what I am fucks me over because those little shits only buy from, and I quote, the best of the best." He said, his voice taking on a mocking tone as he pinched his nose for the last line. "Wait." He looked towards Bored. "That's why she wanted me to bring you. You're a pony, they'll buy stuff from you."

"Don't they trade with nobles from other races as well? I'm pretty sure you being you won't be a problem."

"From other nations? Yes, but once they leave and go back to their own country, those little fuckers talk all kinds of trash, there's a reason why most of Equestria's nobles aren't anything except ponies. Cause if you ain't a pony, you're just a filthy commoner." Moving around the desk, he ducked from view, rattling was heard as he rummaged through the desk.

"What are you doing?" Bored asked.

"Looking for a list."

"A list?"

"Yeah, a list. I think I told you that some of my customers run away?"

"You didn't." She said as she trotted over to where he was crouched. Jumping as he rose quickly holding up a notepad.

"Here we are. Well yeah, some don't like that they owe me something, and they end up running away."

"What do you do?"

"I find them."

"That's it?"

"That's all you need to know. Yes." He tossed the list onto the table.

Bored placed her hooves up on the table as she began to read it. It wasn't just a list of names like she thought it would be. The page that she read held information on a single pony. Height. Coat color. Mane color. It even had a crudely drawn picture of what the cutie mark looked like. The cutie mark she saw was a compass rose, the major directions on it were a golden yellow. While secondary points were a light purple.

Name: ???

Sex: Male.

Coat: ???

Mane: ???

Eyes: Blue.

Location: Unknown. But is most likely to be living in Canterlot if the accent and clothing were anything to go by.

Item: A Golden Credit Card

"This is really creepy, you know that?" She looked at him, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Okay?"

"Like, why do you even have this?"

"I don't take lightly to being stolen from."

She looked back at the list, flipping through the pages as she eyed the extensive writing. "I thought they ran away."

He nodded. "They can change names, change the color of their coats, even dye their manes. But the moment I see that cutie mark. I know it's them. There can be ones that are the same, just different colored, but that's something you can't change."

"What about makeup?"

He looked at her. "What?"

"Ponies can use makeup to change their cutie marks. Just cover them up and give themselves something else. Even with the accents thing, ponies can just get lessons and change them."

He didn't respond.

Looking over, Boring's eyes widened at the sight of the seething human, silently flailing his arms.

"Fine!" He screamed. "Fuck it! Forget the list!" His hands tugged on the hair atop his head. "Let's just go to Canterlot!"

She winced as the human brought a foot to the door, kicking it open and off of its hinges, throwing it into the streets of Manehattan. Ponies gathered and stared at the enraged human. They all hurried away as he stepped out of the shop.

"You're acting like a foal." She said, following him out the door. "So what they ran away. You've had ponies who didn't run away right?"

"It doesn't matter." He said gruffly.

"But–"

She froze as the human stopped and turned around, bending at the waist as he got at eye level with her. "Because of those ponies I've had days where I thought it'd be for the best if I just quit doing what I was doing and started robbing people. In my time of being here, I've thought about a lot of things. Never have I ever contemplated doing something like that. If I didn't want people to steal my shit, why would I want to steal someone else's stuff?" He sighed. "You ponies love to talk about peace. But in the end, you're just as human as me and I'm just as pony as you. We're greedy, we're selfish. The only difference is that you ponies don't come with in betweens. You're absolutes. A thief here can't feel remorse because he's destined to be a thief."

She shook her head. "That's not–"

He pointed at the cutie mark on her flank. A stone with lightning cracking it in half. "Absolutes. You are what you are. You can't just change that. Sure a thief can stop stealing. But the mark on his flank keeps him becoming good at anything else." He straightened his back out and turned around. "Those were the very same words I told someone when they tried to become something they could never be."

He began walking. His shoes dragging on the pavement with every step. She followed, keeping pace as her hooves clicked and clopped.

"He tried to stop stealing, not because he felt bad, but because it was getting dangerous for him. Ponies were wising up to how he did things. And he didn't want to spend the rest of his life rotting in prison." He smiled, chuckling as the memory played in his head. "The first time I met him, he was actually trying to steal stuff off the ropes in the shop. Saw him just dangling there, I think there was a golden inlaid scroll in his mouth. I asked him why he was trying to steal the scroll and not the jewelry."

"Why was he trying to steal the scroll?" Boring asked.

"Pretty sure it was because he thought the scroll would go for more. Unicorns apparently pay top Bits for enchanted stuff. Especially old enchanted stuff."

"Did you end up giving him something?" She wondered.

He nodded. "Not right then and there. I just told him to go before the guards were called. He came back when he heard rumors from his friends about me. They told him I could get him riches without needing to steal anymore. So he came to me. We made a deal, and that was that. I haven't called in my favor and he continues to struggle with the world of politics."

Bored smiled for a moment, before frowning and turning to look at him. "Wait, how does any of this connect with ponies running away or not?" She asked.

"The ponies who run away from the deals we make are trying to deny who they are. Just like I deny who I am when I pick the moral high ground in situations that'd benefit me to take the low road. I can say that I'm not greedy. I can think that I'm not selfish. But in the end, I'm only human. And I have wants and needs. Dreams and aspirations. By doing what I'm doing now, I'm denying my own happiness while allowing others to flourish. Letting them realize that the happiness they want doesn't come from material possessions. I'm the same as those ponies who ran away, wanting nothing but riches to my name. So I need to remind them of their place in this world."

"I still don't see how those two subjects connect."

He groaned. "In the end. I get what I want. But it's not what I need. The ponies who ran away are no different than the ones that stayed. In the end. They get what they need. But not what they want. It's all just a matter of time. And the ones who run away remind me of me, because I'm constantly running away from the glaring fact that I need to realize that I'm not special."

"So do you still think you're special?" Bored asked with a smile, trying to hold back laughter.

"Oh hell yes." He patted himself on the chest with a hand. "I'm the only human on this god-forsaken planet after all." He laughed. "Every planet should have at least one human on it. Or else who's going to show everyone what perfection looks like?"

"So what does that make me if you're so perfect?" She glared with feigned anger.

"A close second?" He shrugged before hissing as she kicked his ankle. "Little shit," he said as he hopped on one foot and held the other in his hand. "Last place for you." Placing his foot back down, he continued walking.

Beginning their journey to Canterlot with a laugh, the both of them walked the rest of the way to the train station in silence. Only to head back as he realized he forgot to pick up the Bits he had been payed.

"Don't you have to check in with your boss?" He asked as he entered his previous home. Walking into the darkness as he avoided the still hanging items.

"What are you talking about? I'm my own boss."

He shrugged. "Alright then."

Looking at the desk, he noticed the phone that had been there was gone now. Replaced by a heavy bag of Bits. Bigger than any of the previous bags he had received. A note hanging the string that tied it shut.

"Huh," he mumbled as he tore the note from the string, unfolding it before he read it. "Congratulations on the raise, Barry." He sighed. "Like hell I'm gonna be called Barry. I'd rather just be called something like Human." His eyes widened as the name on the paper, replaced by the very word he said he'd go by. "You cheeky little shit," he muttered. Only to groan as it changed again, glaring at the words before dropping the paper. Taking the bag in hand, he turned around and left the shop. Closing the door behind him, the shop was left in darkness as the world outside moved on. The items hanging on the ceiling disappeared one by one. Leaving nothing but the room itself and the paper the human had dropped.

Congratulations on the raise, Bitch.

Author's Note

Beginning of part two. Ask any questions you might have. Let me know what you think.

Chapter Five: Teachings

Waking up in this world was never like waking up at all. Surrounded by Ponies, Griffons, Minotaurs, and other creatures that just seemed too fantastical to be real in the first place. He would always wonder if it was all a dream. Cooked up by his subconscious to tell him something.

But this time. Being on that train had done something. He watched the world rush by as if it were in a hurry to be somewhere, trees, bushes, and other flora beginning to blend together, creating a mess of green, orange, and brown as he nodded off to sleep.

Bored had been speaking to him, but he couldn't stay awake for the life of him. Becoming what her name entailed, bored to the core.

They had chosen a pair of seats with a table in between them next to a window. Sitting across from each other, it was mostly quiet between the two of them until Bored had chosen to break the silence.

It wasn't until halfway through her story, did she notice that the one she was telling it to had fallen asleep.

"And after that we became something like business partners to the Pie family, trading them—" She peered over at the human with a smile. Only for the smile to turn into a glare as he eyebrows furrowed, cheeks swelling slightly, and her lips pursed. "Hey! You know it's rude to fall asleep when somepony else is talking right?" She reached a hoof over and pushed his shoulder. Shaking him lightly before she saw that he wasn't going to wake up. His soft hum-like snores blending with the low rumble of the train.

With his cheek pressed against the table, Bored lifted his head, gently laying it back down after the snoring continued undisturbed.

"Just when you think you'll finally get that visit from Princess Luna." He huffed. Tired of even trying. "It never works unless you're having a nightmare."

Walking down the woodland trail, he stepped quickly, each swing of his legs dragging his feet as they kicked up rocks and dirt alike. "Yeah. I remember," he mumbled.

Craning his neck, he stared at the sky. A light shade blue with patches of white and grey haphazardly floating here and there. It was as if a child had drawn it. He stretched out an arm to touch the sky, only to stop short as his stomach twisted itself. Lowering his hand, he sighed as the vice-like grip around his gut loosened.

Lowering his head, his gaze fell back to the trail. The trees that surrounded him were now dead and frozen, their once emerald green leaves now gone and replaced by snow. The world around him erased and replaced by fields of white and grey. Smudged and clouded as time passed by.

He stopped. Crouching down, he scooped up a handful of snow, the frost bit at his exposed fingers. He hummed. Smiling as he dropped the snow and picked up another hand of it. Continuing to pick up and drop the snow into a pile before he had made himself a mound that reached his ankles.

"That's a nice little attempt at a snowman, good enough for me." Standing back up, he stepped forward to continue his journey down the trail. Only to freeze as a low moan was heard from behind him. Turning his head, his gaze was met by a dark lump in the snow.

"Help," It whined, a limb raised to the air before it fell back into the snow.

He sighed. Walking back, his feet crunched into the snow below him with sluggish swing of his legs. He circled around to the front of the prone human before reaching down with his own bare hand to take the gloved hand of the one that was laying in the snow. Looking at the human, he noticed the items that hung from his jacket, tied off by thin strings.

"Upsy-daisy," he muttered as he pulled the human to his feet. "There we go," he said with a smile, staring at the human's hooded figure. The hooded human smiled back, blood dripping from his chin as teeth white as snow were bared. The hood blocked view of everything above the human's mouth.

"Our thanks. It's not often that we get helping hooves." He said, leaning to his right as one leg was bent at the knee and the other held him up. "You might want to watch yourself if you're traveling back the way we came." He shuffled in place, the snow falling from his front as the items swung and bounced.

"Why's that?" He asked.

The human reached for his hood with a single gloved hand, pulling it back to reveal a large gash that was carved through his eyebrow. The blood flowing down the side of his face and dripping off of his chin. "The wares we sell doesn't sit well with them. Dark magic they call it." He laughed. "Not dark magic, no sir." He shook his head, the tooth filled smile still present on his face as he did so.

"So where are you headed?"

"We'd never sell stuff with dark magic involved."

"Well, good luck to you then." He waved, walking around the salesman. Before he could step any further, a hand reached out from behind and grabbed his arm. His head snapped back. Eyes wide.

"Going back there is dangerous, watch yourself."

He tried to pry the hand off, it's grip like an iron band wrapped around his arm. "Okay, thanks," he said quickly. Sighing as the hand that gripped his arm let go.

The human pushed his hood back up, smiling from underneath it as he turned around. Mumbling to himself as he turned around. "It's going to be a cold night."

Turning around, he continued to journey down the frozen trail. His hands pressed against his chest as his fingers stiffened and splayed out in every direction. His lips puckered, an eyebrow raised while the other furrowed. "We wants it, Smeagol wants his precious," He said, his voice becoming high pitched and raspy as he mocked his former self. "God I was fucking weird back then."

He laughed. "Guess I'm still weird now."

The only noise left as he moved down the trail was the crunching of the snow beneath his feet. He watched as the world disappeared before his very eyes. It was gradual as snow began to pile higher and higher, snuffing out any color that muddied the shining white. Until the very snow that buried the world, buried itself. The crunching of his feet no longer audible as he stepped.

"Well this is fun," he said plainly, his legs landing with heavy stomps as his pace slowed to a snails pace. He peered into the distance as something caught his attention.

Rising from the ground were pillars of stone, wood, and other various materials. Walking towards them, he noticed that the pillars only came up to his waist. Small items adorned the tops of them as if they were on display.

"Confused?"

His head snapped to the right. The sight of the hooded trader brought a thin lipped smile to his face. "I guess."

"Don't worry." The trader laughed. "It all makes sense sooner or later."

"So are you from the future or the past?" He asked, giving a small huff before letting out a yawn.

"Depends... But now that I look at you I'd have to say neither. "

He looked back at the item in front of him. With a simple wooden pillar supporting it, he peered at the small glass vial. A swirling purple smoke writhed within. Just the sight of it sent fire down his throat as bile began to rise up, spilling to the sides of his mouth he was forced to swallow it back down.

"I wouldn't pick that one if I were you." He laughed. "Greed can only get you so far in life."

Holding a hand in front of his face, he coughed, trying to rid his mouth of the taste. "So which one would you pick?"

He pointed down at the small glass vial with a throaty chuckle escaping him. "Which one were you originally?"

"Does it matter?"

He only received a nod and a smile in reply.

Walking over to his left, he searched for a particular pillar. A pillar of twisted iron. As his eyes came across it, he smiled. The marred metal was aglow with a mixture of orange and yellow. The surface of it flaked and cracked as pillar rose and twisted into a sickly, corroded, spear-like tip. A feather balanced on the tip, rocking back and forth as it tried to stay on. It was a dainty egg-white feather, the plume near the bottom whispered to him, the voice tickled his ears—

"Ah," the hooded trader said, drawing his attention back to him. "Well then. It's amazing how you're still as clean as you are." He shrugged. "If it works, it works I guess. All though, I don't understand how you'd work at all."

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, or at least you will." He laughed. "Confused?"

"Don't worry. It all makes sense sooner or later," he replied.

The trader rose an arm, offering the very same jacket he wore, trinkets and all. The brown leather shined in the light. "Here. I have a spare, and since you're lacking one, I thought I'd share. You know. Friendship."

"Thanks. I had to trade mine in." He took it into his hand, shoving his arm through one of the sleeves as he shuffled in place and repeated the same movement with the other arm. "It's been a while," he said with a sigh.

Not a moment later, consciousness began to fade away. He began to plummet as the floor disappeared from beneath his feet. The trinkets flapped in the wind. Knocking together, the various items chimed.

His head rocketed from the table. Snapping his head back and forth as he scanned his surroundings. "What the hell is going on?" He asked.

"Have a nice little nap did ya?" Bored asked. A smile on her face as her hoof tapped the table beneath it. "Did ya have nice dream?"

Looking to the peach colored mare, a brow raised while the other lowered. He shrugged a moment later. "Eh, it was good I guess. Don't rightly remember it but yeah."

"You don't remember your dream?"

"Humans rarely do. I mean, you can make yourself remember it, but who wants to waste space up in the old think tank for a dream?"

"What if you dreamed of something important?"

"Than I'll remember." He shrugged. "Dreams are usually never important. Always inane bullshit that nobody cares about."

"Don't let Princess Luna hear you say that."

"Princess Luna can suck my–"

Bored coughed into her hoof. A grimace written across her muzzle as she did so.

"–Flavored candies." His bottom lip puffed out as his brows furrowed. "She never visits me."

"She usually only visits foals, so it makes sense she doesn't visit you."

"What?" He asked, his brows furrowed. "Is she some kind of pedophile?"

"A what?" An eyebrow raised on Bored's face as she looked at him.

"Nothing." He turned his head away. Choosing to look out the window. "Just... thinking to myself. I guess everything adds up. I'm not a child, and I don't have nightmares."

"Everypony has nightmares sometimes."

He let out a laugh. "Yeah, everypony except me." He patted his chest with his palm. "Cause I ain't a pony."

"Okay." Bored rolled her eyes. "So, what do you plan to do when we get to Canterlot?"

Closing his eyes, he let his mind wander. He had been there before, it may have been for only a brief visit, but he did end up enjoying it somewhat.

"I'd probably go and crash a party."

There was pause between them. The train car jumped once Bored spoke up. "T-That's it?"

"Yup. Once I've done that, I'll just go back to selling." He hummed. "On second thought, I'd like to meet Celestia, just once, then I'll call it good."

"How do you intend on meeting her? She is a busy mare after all, and doesn't really take social calls unless it's those Elements of Harmony."

"By crashing a party of course." He gave Bored a toothy grin. "I'm going to crash the Gala."

Bored scoffed. "You're insane."

"You're not stopping me."

Bored rolled her eyes once more. "News flash, the Gala never turns out how ponies expect it. Last time, it was the Elements themselves that crashed it. Celestia didn't mind one bit."

His gaze fell to the table. "Wow, okay then, I guess I'll to put effort into crashing it."

"How do you even plan on getting in?"

"Tickets of course, now that we're part of the one percent, we'll be invited."

"That's some wishful thinking you've got there."

Before he could reply, the door to the front of the train slid open, the roar of the train became clear for a moment before getting muffled once more. A dark green mare wearing a tan vest stepped through. A horn poked through her equally as green mane. "We're arriving in Canterlot in five minutes." She shouted as she moved past them and towards the next car. "Make sure your luggage is ready." The moment she finished speaking, hear ears perked up before she turned around. Walking towards them, she spoke up. "Almost forgot." her horn ignited as she pulled a slip of paper from a pocket. Floating it over to them and leaving it on the table.

"What's this?" He asked as he nodded his head towards the slip of paper.

"Some pony a few stops back wanted me to give this to something like you. Said a weird monkey was going to get on the train."

"Do I look like a monkey to you?" He asked, his brows furrowed.

"Yes." Was all the mare said before turning around and proceeding to trot to the next train car.

He huffed, turning his head to see Bored holding back laughter behind her hooves. "That isn't funny."

"No you're right," she said in between giggles. "I'm sorry, do you—" she coughed. "Do you want an apology banana?"

"I'll only accept an apology banana if I get to call you a horse."

The laughter stopped as soon as it started, Bored's brows furrowed as she glared at him.

"Yeah, not cool being seen as an animal is it?" His gaze rose to the ceiling and a sigh escaped him as he closed his eyes.

Bored's glare turned to a look of worry. "Hey," she move a hoof to his hand. "I'm sorry I laughed."

"Just tired, nothing else." He mumbled as he raised a hand to rub at his eyes.

Her hoof flew back to her side, a blush on her face as she lowered her gaze to hide her face. "D-Didn't you just wake up?" She asked as she stared at her hooves.

"Maybe," he shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe not."

As the brakes of the train squealed and screamed, Bored looked to the window, she leaned forward and looked to the front of the train, her eyes widened at the sight. A large pink dome surrounded all of Canterlot, encapsulating the entire city like a rose snowglobe. "What the fuck?" She muttered, her mouth agape.

Letting his head fall back down, he looked to Bored. "What?" He followed her gaze, meeting the giant rose dome that swirled with magic. Looking above the dome, he spotted black specks flying about, smashing into the dome. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Chapter Six: Actions

As the two stared at the rose bubble, shouts echoed from the cars near the front of the train. The screaming of the brakes stopped as the train lurched forward, stopping completely as they went silent. Both Bored and the human stared the door to the forward car, waiting for someone to come through.

The human glanced from the door to the window, looking out over the fields that stretched until a number of buildings rose from the dirt. A small town from the looks of it.

"It looks pretty big for a small town though." He shrugged. "Maybe I'll just go live there instead." It may be a small town, but at least it wasn't the site of what looked like a large scale invasion.

Bored turned her head towards him. "What are you on about? There's a war going on outside an you talking about living arrangements?"

He stood up, shaking his head as he did so. "They wouldn't like me. Small towns never really liked those kinds of..." As his mind wandered, his body recoiled as something struck his face. Burning his face like a hot brand, he yelled through gritting teeth, "What the fuck was that?!" He looked to Bored, who only sat there with her eyebrows raised and mouthing the word 'oh'. Her rear planted on the wooden table just in front of him. Reaching up to his face, he moved a finger to touch where she had struck, only to hiss as his finger touched an open wound. It wasn't big but it wasn't little either.

"I'm so sorry!" She shouted quickly as she sat back down in her seat. "I just thought that–"

"In no way, shape, or form, is sucker punching me going to help this situation!"

"It was just supposed to be a light slap..." Bored said, lowering her gaze.

"Excuse me..." Somebody spoke from the aisle. The voice clicked and moaned as if they had something stuck in their throat.

"Hold up one second," He replied, "Listen, next time you want to let out your inner dominatrix, do me a favor, hit somebody else. I am extremely fragile when compared to you guys. You can break open rocks with your hooves!"

"Are you done?" The voice asked.

Turning to his left, his gaze fell on the... thing in the aisle. Jet black with eyes that seemed like a summer's sky on the outer edges, leading into a snowy white center. It looked like a pony, but if a pony was hairless, and had fins atop its head, and fangs that stuck out from underneath the top lip. All in all, it looked like a pony had got hit with the ugly stick.

"What the fuck are you?" He asked, the corner of his lip slowly rising at the sight of the strange creature.

It glared at him. "Rude, what the fuck are you?"

"Perfection given form... So what's going on? The train being delayed because of what's going on outside?"

"You could say that," the creature said, a fang-filled smirk on its face. "You're a hostage now."

His eyes widened, watching other ponies enter the once lonely car. All of them being filed through the walkway and through the backdoor to the storage car. "I'm a hostage? That's pretty neat."

The creature scoffed. 'Yeah, neat." The horn atop its head ignited with a sickly bluish-green. "Now be a good monkey and take your mare with you to the back of the train."

"Look here," he said before rising from his seat. "I don't appreciate being called a–" but before he could finish, he was thrown back, his head ringing as glass shattered against the back of his head. The wind whistled in his ears

"I don't care about what you appreciate, pick up your bitch and go to the back of the train."

"Who are you calling a bi–" Thrusting his hand out, he cut Bored off.

"It's all good," he hissed as he used the other hand to rub the back of his head. There was definitely blood, if the warmth dripping down the back of his neck was anything to go by. "I don't want any more trouble." He looked over to Bored who only stared back with furrowed brows and teeth bared.

"But–"

He slammed his free hand against the table. "But nothing. Just do as he says." He rose from his seat, giving his head one lat rub before letting his hand drop back to his side. Glancing down to confirm his suspicions, as his gaze fell on the blood that stained the palm of his hand. Walking into the aisle, he watched the strange creature back off, its horn still glowing with the magic it used to blast him. Turning his head, he stepped towards Bored, bringing his arm around her barrel and lifting her.

"Let me go, I can walk just fine!" Bored yelled in protest, flailing her hooves to get free from his grip.

"Listen," he hissed. "There are a lot of things going on right now, and I really don't feel like angering a horned bug."

She didn't reply.

Reaching out with his stained hand, he opened the door to the next car, only to meet a group of bound and gagged ponies. Their hooves bound by some kind of weird dark-green goop while their eyes and mouths were blocked by what he assumed was a white cloth. Looking to the jet-black ponies, he counted five minus the on behind him. There were two that were larger than the others, and one that seemed to be dwarfed by the rest. Beyond that, they all looked exactly the same. Sky-blue eyes, fangs protruding from underneath their top lip. With some sort of fin decorating each side of their heads like a makeshift ear. "Kinky," he muttered.

A laugh barked from behind him. "I like you, monkey."

"I love you too, bug-pony."

A number of the creatures chittered at this, their wings twitching madly. "Word of warning though," he felt a hoof on the small of his back. "Don't ever call us that again." The creature pushed him into the room. There were no tables, no seats whatsoever, it looked more like a car for big cargo, stuff passengers couldn't keep with them in the more populated residential cars. Luckily for the train hijackers there wasn't much in there, leaving enough room for the hostages.

Stepping towards the group of ponies. he watched their ears swivel towards him. Letting Bored go, he turned back to the creatures. "So what now?" He asked.

One of them stepped forward, raising a hoof to Bored. "Lie down and put your hooves together."

Bored did as she was told, grumbling as the creatures spat the same dark-green stuff that bound the others. Her mumblings were quieted as her mouth was gagged. Losing her sight as one of the creatures slipped a cloth over her eyes.

Once finished binding Bored, the same creature looked to him. "You next." It buzzed over to him its insect wings becoming a blur for but a moment before folding back onto its body. Its hoof brushes his leg as if it wanted to push him down.

He nods. Sitting down, he puts his wrists together and holds them outward, presenting them to his captors. The bug opens its mouth and begins coating his forearms with the same goop used on the others. But something went wrong. He watched the spit solidify for only a moment before turning to dust. With wide eyes he stares down at his dirtied, unbound hands.

"Defiler!" A voice shouts.

A number of cries and hisses drown his thoughts as a warmth spreads through his shoulder. Looking to his right, he peers into a single one of those giant sky-blue eyes, the maw of the very same creature wrapped around his shoulder with blood spilling from between the lips and his shirt. He reaches up to pry the creature off of him with a quick swipe. He screams as the teeth that were buried in his shoulder tore away, leaving another gash hidden underneath his now blood stained clothes.

Jumping to his feet with the bug hanging loosely from his shoulders, he throws himself back, the wind evacuates his lungs as the changeling on his back slams into him. He feels the bug's grip on his body slip away, followed by a thud at his feet. He could hear his heart pounding in his head, but nothing else. The hisses of the bugs, the cries of the ponies, all of it was gone. He could see those terrified eyes, the teeth baring glares, all were on him. This was something he hadn't felt in a long time, a comfortable life in the city left him complacent, unprepared for the moment he'd realize once more that this peaceful world, was not so peaceful.

So he ran. Sprinting to the car door, he threw it open with a swing of his arms before slamming it shut behind him. Running to the next car door only to repeat the same process. He could hear the crackling of fire with every step that sent him further into the train. The wood beneath his feet warped and snapped, letting embers rise from below like orange fireflies lighting the night. His heart pounded harder, trying to escape his chest and leave him behind as fear rattled both mind and body. He could hear them again, their cries of anger, disgust. They wanted him to burn. They couldn't get him last time so they came back to finish the job.

Slamming the door behind him one last time, he turned around to face the controls to the train, a sea of levers, dials, and switches. A muffled cry at his feet snaps him from his venom induced stupor. Looking down he sees a pale yellow stallion bound and gagged staring up at him, this must have been the conductor. Reaching down, he tore away the cloth gag. "Which one is the gas?!" He yells at the pony in his shaking hands. There was a reason those bug ponies stopped the train.

"What?!"

"We've got to go, how do I make it go?!"

"Just press that lever forward and pull that one back!" The conductor motions to the two levers on the floor just in front of him with quick nods of his head.

Doing just as the conductor said, he felt the train lurch forward, coming back to life as the engines dull rumble became a heavy, ground shaking roar. Falling back against the door, he stared out the window, watching the world go by faster with every passing second, the door at his back shook violently as the bugs tried to get in. He heard the window above his head shatter before shards of glass rained onto his lap. Craning his neck, he spied those hole ridden hooves reaching in, each one pushing and shoving past the other frantically. Muffled hisses and shrieks tore through the window that the inky black appendages were shoved through.

None of this drowned out his heart, the constant drumming in his chest now accentuated by the heavy gasping breaths he was heaving. Darkness seeped around the corners of his vision, no matter how hard he breathed, it never seemed to be enough for his hungry lungs. Turning his head back, he sat and watched the pink dome close in on the front of the train. His vision fading as the beat of his heart became a hum. His world devoured by the color of rose before he fell away. The venom finally taking him.

Chapter Seven: Sacrifice

There wasn't anything to it, no fancy tricks, no spell, just hard work and maybe a little bit of tea between each session. Dealing with the nobles was the easy part, but the mountain of paperwork left in the aftermath of the invasion, along with the wedding, it was too much. It was times like this she had to thank the gods that she had help. Speaking of help, she believed the maid she had tasked with assisting her had been talking about something. But Celestia just... lost herself. No matter how much tea or coffee she drank, sleep would always find a way to get to her.

"Princess? Are you alright?" A voice asked, it was tiny, almost nonexistent.

Celestia's eyes snapped open for a moment before returning back to their usual calm state. Looking down at the maid before her, she coughed into her hoof. "Would you mind repeating that, I'm... not sure I heard correctly." The maid wore a look of worry on her almond colored muzzle. With amethyst eyes staring out from behind snow white mane.

"Oh uh... Ah okay, after a month and a half, and with everything summed up... There wasn't a lot of damage done to the buildings during the invasion, some collapsed walls, nothing major. There were some missing ponies cases but those were cleared up. Some wounded here and there but no casualties, one near death situation with a passenger on a train. It says here its in the hospital right now, being treated for lethal doses of changeling venom and blood loss after saving a train full of ponies from a number of the changelings. They say its in critical condition and they have no way of contacting family for the creature, the closest thing to kin they found was the mare that claimed to be with it and they aren't sure how to proceed as most of the treatments aren't working."

Celestia chewed her cheek. Somepony had almost died? It was amazing that almost her entire kingdom had gone relatively unscathed during the attack, she was thankful for the luck... But somepony in her kingdom wasn't as lucky. "I'd like a carriage readied for departure."

"Yes, your majesty." She bowed.

Celestia watched the maid trot from the room, using her magic to close the door behind her with a soft click. Returning her gaze to her room, she stared at the mess of papers, quills and empty ink bottles before her, she sighed. It was finally over. Craning her neck to look out the past the, she spied the sunrise just barely peaking over the horizon. "I'll have to thank Luna again," Celestia muttered with a yawn. "So patient with me these days."

Getting up from her spot the couch, Celestia trotted over to the door, using her magic she opened the door and out into the hallway, the sound of clopping hooves echoed down the marble corridor. It wasn't too dark compared to her room, but the curtains in the hall being drawn made a significant different as her eyes had to adjust.

"Up so early?" A voice asked from down the hall.

Turning her head to the left, Celestia narrowed her eyes down the hallway, spying Luna, her dark blue coat blended well with the shadows but the stars in her mane and tail, the little lights twinkling against the darkness, were a dead giveaway.

"You know me, Lu-lu, an early bird by nature."

Luna trotted over her to her, the light from balcony shined through the doorway and onto her form. She wasn't wearing her usual regalia.

"Sorry for making you raise the sun again, it's been... less than pleasant these past few days." Celestia bowed her head, wearing a small smile as Luna returned the bow.

"Think nothing of it." Luna's smile turned into a small frown as her eyes narrowed onto Celestia's face. The bags under here eyes were just barely noticeable with the light shining from behind her, but they were there. "You didn't get any sleep did you?"

Celestia laughed dryly. "Less than pleasant these past few days. The nobles just wouldn't give up trying to sneak things into the forms, I had a maid help me sort through most of it. I had to borrow one of your own by the way, so please give Bad Business a pass for today, such great help." Celestia raised a hoof to her muzzle as she yawned.

"I will see to it that she is rewarded for her services."

"Thank you," Celestia muttered once her yawn subsided. "Now... I have a carriage waiting for me."

"Off to visit a noble?"

Celestia smiled. "Something like that."

Luna shook her head as she chuckled, "Good luck to you then." Turning around, Luna began to trot back the way she came.

Watching Luna trot back down the hallway before entering a disappearing around a corner, she nodded to herself before a yawn came on. "Thank you, Luna. I'm going to need it."

The wood warped and cracked before his very eyes, embers rose up into the air like little orange fireflies lighting up the night. He heard their cries of anger and disgust as the torches in their hooves were added to the pyre that was the small shack. The heat of flames licked his face all the way from the bottom of the hill he was standing on, the snow beneath his feet beginning to melt as he watched the spectacle.

"What... is..."

It felt so familiar, yet he couldn't place it. Was this a dream? A memory? What was going on? How did he get here in the first place? There were so many questions, and little to know answers as he stared at the mob razing the house.

But just like that, the scene was gone. Replaced with the burnt corpse of the house barely standing as snow piled onto its fragile exposed frame. Embers still flickered with life, but died out as the wind and snow snuffed out what little life the house had left. The world was back to the white and grey he knew it to be. His eyes narrowed, and with a tentative step, he slowly began to move towards the ruined home.

The wind whistled a rhythmless tune with every step he took, slowly transforming into a sort of soft chiming the closer he drew to the house.

Standing before what used to be the front door to home, he looked just past a burnt beam of wood blocking the doorway from an angle. Reaching out, he grasped the charred wood blocking his way, pushing it away with an ease that made him jump as the blockage slid away and slammed to the floor. Throwing up ashes and snow into a cloud that muddied his vision of the interior.

Coughing as he fanned away the ash, he closed his eyes as he stepped into the collapsed building, opening them as the chiming of the wind became even louder.

"What the hell?" He muttered as he stared at the ashen floor.

There were trinkets scattered around, some half buried in the ash and snow, others clinging to bits of wood here and there. At the center of the destroyed home, he spotted a desk, and the source of the chiming. A phone sitting on top of a pristine cherry oaken desk.

It was an old rotary phone, black body with a golden trimmed dial.

Moving towards the phone, he picked it up, slowly bringing to the receiver up.

"H-Hello?" The words were almost a whisper.

"Hey, it's me again." It was his boss, the voice wasn't as bad as before, the whine was gone but the echo was still there. "Glad I found you."

"What the hell is going on?" He asked, no force behind the words.

There was only static coming from the other end for a moment before his employer spoke up. "Do you want the quick answer? Or the long one?"

"Wha—"

"Well we don't have time for the long answer so here's the abridged version... You're dying."

"...Okay?" He had no clue how to react.

"...That's it?"

"What do you want me to do, lady? Break down into tears and beg for my life?"

"Kind of, yeah."

He shrugged. "Sucks to be you doesn't it?"

"I'm not the one who's going to die."

"Well you got me there." Small chuckles escaped them. "So... How did it happen?"

"Hm? How did what happen?"

Turning around, he sat on the desk, staring at the home, watching it slowly get smothered by the snowfall, the flakes shining in the little amount of light cutting through the grey clouds above. "How am I going to die?"

"Well, after saving a train full of ponies from a life of hibernation and being nothing more than a fleshy bag of feed; brutally murdering a number of changelings. You were found by the guards tasked with clean up after the invasion. They took you, and the others to the hospital. Now you're sitting in a room filled with doctors trying to find out how to clean your blood of the changeling venom before your mind decides to take an everlasting dirt nap. They've already stopped the blood loss, and treated the burns you suffered when you busted through the shield made by Prince Armor."

"Brutally murdered a number of changelings?" So those bug ponies were called changelings?

"Well, the shield was meant to keep them out you see, and a train filled with them going eighty miles an hour, well... let's just say it was pretty messy." The person on the other end of the line cackled merrily for a moment before speaking back up again. "It looked like someone made a bunch of small cuts into a tube of toothpaste and tried to squeeze everything out. Absolutely nasty, you should have seen it."

"I think I'll pass on that."

"Boo."

Tapping his fingers against the wooden desk, he jumped up from his place on it, turning around to look down at the golden dial of the phone. "So what now? Was calling me just so you could say goodbye?"

"Oh no, you're far from done."

"How so?"

"I owe you more than I'd like to admit. Serving me without question for the years you've been here, well let's just say it's touching. You and your mare actually, if I could give two thumbs up, I would."

He hummed to himself, "Didn't really have a choice, but okay."

"And now that you're life is on the line, I'll be returning one of the many favors I owe you."

He gave a mock scoff. "Wow, my life is that meaningless to you?"

"Sorry but we've chatted long enough, it's time to get you back in working order. I suppose it's time to let you know a little about me."

There was nothing to prepare him for what happened next. One moment he was sitting in the burned down ruins of a home, the next he was floating in what seemed to be a void. Stars danced in the corners of his vision, but turning his head yielded no results, as if they were avoiding being seen.

"Now," his boss spoke, where the voice was coming from, he had no clue. It was as if she had surrounded him. "You're going to feel extremely violated, but don't worry, it'll be replaced by an extreme soreness when you wake up."

He twisted his body, turning his head to and fro trying to find the source of he voice. "What are you on abou—" His words were cut off as something slimy slipped into his mouth. His eyes snapped down to the offending object, only to see nothing but the abyss between his lips. Bring his hands up to his face, he tried to pry the slimy appendage from his mouth. Only for his hands to be slapped away by an unseen force.

"You really don't want to interrupt this." Just as the words were spoken, something began to pour down his throat, warm, thick, and fizzy. The liquid tickled on its way down to his gullet.

"This is really fucking disgusting, you know that right?" He attempted to ask, but his words only came out as muffled hums.

"Don't talk with a full mouth. Now, Celestia herself is on her way to meet you, you'll wake up with no memories of this ever happening so I have no need to worry about her learning about me."

His body began to hum as more and more of the strange liquid was pumped down his throat. There was no end to it, what was this stuff anyways?

"But what I am worried about is the idea that she might find out about what you do. You've already seen the reaction to what we do; hicks skulking around the backwoods don't take to kindly to being reminded of who they are, necessary or otherwise."

Images of the arson he had just witnessed shined out from the darkness. The fire brighter than before as it carved through the darkness like a hot knife to his retinas.

"Now imagine what's going to happen when she finds out you've been dealing cursed items to her little ponies."

His jaw creaked as the oily appendage forced his mouth open wider. Pouring more of its liquid down into his seemingly bottomless stomach. His body shook violently, what was once a low hum became a head splitting roar. His eyes squeezed shut as his hands moved up to either side of his head, trying to block out the noise.

"Don't get me wrong, the curses are barely even curses to begin with, but some just don't see a difference."

It was too much. He couldn't hold on any longer.

"But we do, you and me. We're the only ones here who can see the benefits to beating others down, showing them that they're more than just their desires."

The offending appendage that occupied his open mouth slipped away, leaving his tired jaw hanging there as it relaxed. Opening his eyes, he stood before a number of columns, all of them made up of different materials, barely reaching just past his hip. He remembered this.

"Choose."

Each one of them held an item, presenting him with a vial of purple smoke atop a pillar of carved wood, storms brewed behind the glossy surface of the glass; a dainty egg-white feather atop a pillar of rotting iron, the plumage enticing him with promises of respite and comforts beyond imagination; a crown of gold and silk with a pillar of glass to support it, the most gaudy and eye catching piece among the bunch.

His head shook softly. "I already know what I want." Turning his head all the way to the right, skipping over two others. He peered at a pillar of stone, cracked down the middle with a broken blade sticking partly out of the slab of concrete.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like the feather again? You seemed to have done just fine with it, well... until just a little while ago at least."

"Just fine isn't something I can afford to be anymore." Canterlot isn't the place to slip up.

"Are you sure?"

He simply nodded.

The world hummed. "Well alright then, so be it."

Dropping to his knees, he choked on the bile that rose up from inside of him, the sensation of a countless number of fingers crawling up the back of his throat before pouring out in a fountain of shimmering, translucent ooze. Spilling onto the floor and pooling around his clenched fists. It stopped just as soon as it started and he watched the ooze crawl over to the stone pillar, seeping in through the crack before the entire thing seemed to dissolve, leaving the blade floating before him.

"You are your words, and the words are you. I am the end, just as I am the words. Let them hear you and know the end."

His arms were forced apart as the words of his employer cascaded into his skull, thrashing around like a violent ocean trying to bring end to the sailors conquering it. He watched as the blade focused its point at him before throwing itself into his chest. The blade squirmed its way deeper into him. He couldn't hold on any longer, the world fading from him as the void grasped at the edge of his gaze with talons that carved at his vision.

"Let it be known, child of mine, that salvation lies at the end of a road paved with failure and misery. And you are the one to set this world back on that path, whether they want it or not."

In that moment, he knew everything. Who he was, the things he had seen, the things he had forgotten. The floodgates in the back of his mind broke away as the blade cut away the curtains, letting in the light that burned away the shadow of doubt. But the blade wasn't done cutting, hacking away at the memories, beating them back down where they had come from. He couldn't say anything as the answers he hadn't even wanted were stolen from him once more.

Cracking open his crusted eyes, he groaned as his very being throbbed and ached at the simple action. Groans became incoherent shouts as the light of the room burned his sensitive eyes. He watched as a pony's face hovered above his, staring down at him with wide eyes. A coat colored like grass on a spring day with an even darker green mane atop its head. A horn barely poking out of the wild unkempt mane.

"You're awake?" They asked, their voice wavering and scared, surprised almost.

Where was he? A hospital? "As awake... as the undead... can be... I guess." His lungs felt so small, straining in his chest as if every breath would make them burst.

The pony disappeared for a moment, a quill scratching at paper could be heard, but seeing it was an impossibility at the moment. "H–How are you feeling?"

"Like every... fiber of my... very being was... nearly beat to death." He hoped to god he was in a hospital.

"Do you remember anything? Your name, what happened to you, where you are, anything?"

"Not... a thing."

"W–What about relatives? The mare accompanying you? Bored Core, does that name ring any bells?"

A brow raised and the nerves in his face screamed. "Who?"