It was a pleasant morning. Birds were chirping, flowers were singing, six mares were talking about their favorite Vampony Diaries character in the middle of the park. The usual. Wait, what?
Non no no. The Vampony Diaries was not something to be talked about in a public meadow. It was a very mature series. What if little colts or fillies heard them?
It was a private meadow? Well alrighty then.
So anyway, it was a nice day and bla bla bla. The discussion had started out safe for little foals prying ears to listen to, but now it was taking a turn for the more mature audiences.
"So," Rarity said, tousling her mane to give it that extra bounce she so desired. "That new vampony show came on last night again."
"Yeah, I heard.", Applejack said, looking around, and then leaning in. "And just between me and you gals, it's the first supernatural show I've ever watched that didn't make the boring column."
"The boring column?", Twilight asked. "What boring column? What column, in the first place?"
Pinkie mysteriously popped her hoof into her mane and pulled out a newspaper called the Daily Colt.
"This boring column!", she said excitedly, showing them all the column in the newspaper which stated shows and which in the writer's humble opinion, had made it, and which, in his expert opinion, had not.
"Wow, A.J really? The first show you've ever watched that didn't make Tabby Mums boring column? That's just sad.", Rainbow said, mock scolding her.
A.J smacked Rainbow on the head. "Will y'all just shut your flapper?"
"Nope," Rainbow mumbled, recuperating from the slap.
Rarity rolled her eyes.
"Shoulda just seen the 'nope' coming though," A.J mumbled.
"Here Twilight," Pinkie said, oblivious to the tension between Rainbow and Applejack," take it, you really need to get up to date on modern events." And of course Pinkie put extra emphasis on the word really.
"Thanks Pinkie.", Twilight said, rolling her eyes.
"So anyway.", Rarity said, butting in. "I think we can all agree that we're guilty of watching that deliciously good show!", she said, practically humming with excitement at the thought of, ooh, Damon Salvacolt.
"Yeah, I have watched it from time to time.", Rainbow admitted, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. Wait, why was she nervous about this? That show was awesome! "Okay, I've watched a lot," Rainbow admitted, excited sparks in her eyes, and a smirk stretched across her face.
"So have I.", Twilight said.
"Really?", they all asked. Well, all except for Fluttershy, because she was hiding inside a bush.
"What?", Twilight asked, irked by her friends stereotypical assumptions. "Nerds can watch cool fantasy thingies!"
Rainbow just shook her head.
"Okay, I super duper love that show! Especially in season two, when sweet little Clopaline got turned into a vampony. Ooh! And when she pushed the nurse up against the wall and drained her dry...", Pinkie said, getting more and more excited, while her hair got droopier and droopier, and she started to look more insane.
She continued still though. "Ooh! When Stefan Salvacolt told Elena Hoofbert that he used to murder half of her family for vampiric kicks!" Her hair was almost completely dropped, and she seemed to really be enjoying describing the goryness.
Unfortunately, Rainbow didn't notice the warning signs of a manic Pinkie Pie, and actually joined in.
"Ooh ooh ooh!", Rainbow said excitedly, "I got one!" A mischievous smile lit up her face.
"How about, in season three, when Stefan goes insane with inequinity, and almost drives Elena Hoofbert off Hickory Bridge just to get Claws to call off his vampony werepony hybrids!", Rainbow said, laughing.
"That was amazing!", Pinkie said. "How about when-"
But the almost completely insane Pinkie and bloodthirsty Rainbow were cut off by Rarity. "Girls, do try to keep it down to a minimum of the gross disgusting parts!", she said rolling her eyes. "And Pinkie, do poof up your mane, it looks dreadful that way.", she said as an afterthought.
"Aw," Rainbow complained, "we haven't even gotten to the hottest character.", she said, grinning. "And you just want us to stop talking about it because it turns you on."
"Ha, as if," Rarity said, her composure cracking, then added an entirely fake laugh after. "A ha ha ha.", she said, her eyes darting back and forth. "Who is the hottest character to you?", she said, eager to change the subject.
Rainbow rolled her eyes in an as-if-you-had-to-ask manner. "Damon Salvacolt. I'd do him anytime."
"Not appropriate Rainbow Dash," Twilight said, glaring at the brash pegasus.
"See that's the problem with all you Stefan fans, you're so goody two horse shoes and uptight.", Rainbow said absentmindedly batting a hoof in front of Twilight's face.
"What makes you think I'm a Stefan fan?", Twilight said, her cheeks getting hot.
"Because you're both moral compasses.", Rainbow answered, not batting an eye.
Twilight looked over and saw Pinkie Pie peeking into the bush Fluttershy was hiding in.
"Stop that", she said. "If Fluttershy wants private time leave her alone, it's the right thing to do."
Rainbow and Pinkie burst out laughing.
"Rainbow-", Pinkie sputtered out, "Rainbow- you- you were right, she is a moral compass!"
"Rarity, you always have a civilized opinion. Would you please tell these Damon fans what is wrong with their belief and perception of other's views?"
"No thank you darling.", Rarity said, trotting over to where the two laughing mares resided.
"Oh c'mon!", Twilight yelled.
Rainbow stopped laughing, and put her arm around Rare, and said, "That's right, Rares, join the Damon side." Then they hoof bumped.
To Applejack it was like it was in slow-mo. "That's our thing R.D and y'all know it," she said, peeved. Then she trotted over to Twilight. "Twilight here is right, y'all ponies who are rooting for Damon clearly don't know smack about other pony's perceptions."
"Well, look who joined the Saint Sparkle side.", Rainbow said, smirking.
"Shut your mouth R.D!", A.J warned.
"Or what?", Rainbow asked, getting in her face. "Whatcha gonna do, Stefan fan?"
"I'm going to back away, because no matter how hard it is, it's the right thing to do.", Applejack said, slowly turning around, and retreating.
Rainbow groaned. But then she got an idea. "Hey Rares, wanna try another hoof bump?"
"No thank you. I'm fine without darling."
But when Rainbow came over and whispered something in Rarity's ear, they both couldn't resist.
"She likes me. I know she likes me.", Rainbow whispered.
"Really?", Rarity said, doubtful at first, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, when you get into a habit of eavesdropping...", Rainbow said trailing off and grinning.
"You haven't heard anything from behind my door, have you?", Rarity asked worriedly.
"Maybe," Rainbow said, wiggling her eyebrows.
"Oh. No.", Rarity said, her already white face getting even whiter.
"It won't be told if ya help me out."
"Fine," Rarity said mumbling, "I would've helped either way though."
"Really, even with what I'm about to do to you?", Rainbow said; now it was her raising an eyebrow.
"What are you going to do to me?", Rarity asked, now more hesitant.
"Just go with it," Rainbow said, brushing it off with mischievous eyes and a Tirek may care smirk.
Rarity had a bad feeling about this. Hold on a tiny little second though. If Rainbow's approach was to make the apple farmer jealous, then she must have been planning something involving bodily contact...
But Rarity's thoughts were cut off, when she got the kiss of her life.
Rainbow's lips came at her's at inequine speed. She was a little bit shocked, but after that, genuinely started to enjoy it.
Lucky for Rainbow, her plan worked.
Not lucky for Rarity, Applejack came barreling toward them as soon as she saw them in an embrace.
But not lucky for Applejack, with the same speed that Rainbow had used to sweep Rarity into a kiss, Rainbow swept them out of the way at the last second, ultimately ending the best kiss of Rarity's life, not that she'd ever tell Rainbow. Rainbow would never let her forget it.
And so Applejack ran past them, as she had had her head lowered ready to ram them, and only realized she had missed them when she raised her head and ran into a tree.
Rainbow and Pinkie guffawed.
Rarity balked.
Twilight rushed over to see if she was okay.
Fluttershy, rather than rushing over, silently asked if A.J was okay, not that anyone heard. Especially not the pony she was concerned about.
"Rainbow Dash," A.J mumbled threateningly as she dizzily tried to stumble over toward the prismatic pegasus while still looking threatening. It did not work.
A.J fell several times, and picked herself up only half the time. Don't ask me how that works, I simply do not know.
But, the point is, once A.J got over to Rainbow, she reached up, touched a hoof to Rainbow's chin, then punched her in the muzzle.
"Screw bring the bigger pony, let's end this you crazy Damon fan."
Rainbow just tapped her muzzle to see if it was broken, and when it wasn't, she smirked and said, "Bring it Blondie."
Then Applejack stood up real tall, and was no longer dizzy.
"Finally", Rainbow muttered.
Her attitude was punished with a swift buck to the face.
It sent her back a couple of feet.
A.J galloped over to stand above her, believing herself to be the victor.
But just as quickly as she had made it over there, she was yanked down to the ground, and her lips were pressed intensely against Rainbow's. Shocked she was, but unlike Rarity, she kissed back.
"See," Rainbow said as they broke apart, "I just needed a reaction."
Rarity steamed.
"Aww," A.J said, her tough exterior softening.
"Us Damon fans aren't that bad. We just try to look for a little fun.", Rainbow said, playing with A.J's long braid.
A.J was softening up, melting even, when Rarity lept toward A.J with a battle cry.
"Crazy ex-marefriend", Pinkie muttered to Twilight.
Twilight nodded, but then realized what Pinkie was implying. "Wait? What?", she said, but Pinkie had already bounced off to try to pull Rarity off of Applejack.
Twilight groaned for what must have been the twentieth time that day.
Eventually, after several minutes of prying, Pinkie managed to get Rarity to unhinge her teeth from Applejack's hind leg.
And Rarity came tumbling down on top of Rainbow Dash. Which of course caused A.J to go crazy and think Rarity had fallen in Dash on purpose.
And after several more minutes, they managed to pry A.J's hooves from Rarity's weave...
And after that, there was a minor war, which kind of separated ponies from one another. Each hating each other for their choice of Salvacolt brother.
But, after several years, the war was resolved, and peace reigned once again in Ponyville.
A couple of years later, however, when they were all sitting in a mice private meadow during a pleasant morning. Birds were flying about happily, and bees were buzzing merrily. Until of course, Rarity mentioned Twilight.
