South Park: Adventures in pony

by Ericcartmanlikescheese

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Changelings, Sex, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Crossover, Human, Main 6
Length: 3437

The South Park boys travel to ponyville and weird things start to happen

The class is going on a field trip when they turn up in Equestria and weird things start to happen. So weird that all of the class is in danger: GRAVE Danger.
The first in the I.F.S.A.W series
Sequel is here:https://www.fimfiction.net/story/349587/the-great-army
(takes place between s19 ep1 and s19 ep2
CANCER ALERT! CANCER ALERT!

Published 2016-09-05 01:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-11 21:57:20 UTC

Prolouge

The Kids were going to go on a field trip.
They ran on the bus and it went away.
A few miles later the bus broke down.
"Ugh, MOVE!" Yelled Cartman.
Then suddenly out of nowhere, a portal appeared.
"What the fuck is that?" Asked Cartman.
"Well let's go through it." said Mr.Garrison.
Soon Stan,Kyle,Cartman,Kenny,Butters,Clyde,Craig,Token,Tweek,Wendy,Bebe,Mr.Garrison and Mr.Hat all went through the portal.

Where Are We?

Kyle saw deep blackness. Forever blackness. Then he woke up. All of his fellow classmates and Mr. Garrison were sitting in the middle of the woods. “W-what happened?” Kyle questioned.

“We're in the middle of nowhere?” Token replied.

“OH NO, WERE LOST AHHH!” Tweek said, panicking.

“Oh Hamburgers! I'm going to get grounded,” said Butters.

“We have to look around to escape,” Stan said.

“GOD DAMMIT IM IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE WITH THIS JEW BOY!” said Cartman.

“Shut your fucking mouth Cartman!” Kyle said.

Then out of nowhere a wolf got hold of Kenny in its mouth. Blood started squirting everywhere and intestines started flying everywhere. “Oh my god! They killed Kenny!”

“You Bastards!!”

“CHILDREN GET OUT OF THE WAY!” Mr.Garrison said. He pulled out a shotgun. “Yippee ki-yay mother fucker!” He shot the wolves in the face. Blood started flying everywhere. As well as wood.

“Wait a minute!” Said Bebe. “These are the wolves from MLP!”

“You mean that fucking gay ass show about ponies?” Cartman asked with the usual amount of snark.

“IT’S NOT GAY!” Said Wendy, incensed.

“Wait a minute!” said Stan “The sun is going down, We have to get some rest.”

“But where?” Said Craig.

“Up in those trees,” Stan replied.

* * *

“Mmm.... Give me more of that Crystal Meth,” Said Celestia. “Oh, I am having the greatest high right now. Guards, give me more of that sweet stuff.”

“Celestia Celestia!”

“What! I was just on the greatest high just now. Do you know how hard it is keeping on a high when you're an alicorn?!”

“Visitors are here!”

“Who Cares!? DON’T INTERRUPT ME!” Celestia said dismissively.

“Ugh! I can’t climb this tree” Cartman complained.

“Come on Fatass!” Said Stan.

“Oh no! How are we going to get down here!? Auggghh!!!” said Tweek.

“Tweek, Calm down,” said Kyle.

“Guys I'm really convinced that this is Equestria.” said Bebe.

“Oh stop it, of course, it isn’t.” said Kyle. But what if it is? We’re somewhere but I don’t know where.

“Good Night Children,” said Mr. Garrison.

Kyle was worried. My Parents Are gone and they’re probably wondering where I am.

“Where’s my little bubalee? He’s not home from school yet, It’s dinnertime.” Said Kyle’s mother.

“Sharon,I have no clue” Said Kyle’s Father.

BRIIINNNG!!

“I’ll get it!” Said Sharon. “Hello, who is it? This is Stan’s Father, yes? My son isn’t home either. Yes. Oh no. OH NO!”

“Sharon What is it!?”

“We have to go to Randy’s house!” said Sharon. They got into the car and drove off.

“I think we have problem” Said Randy

“What?”

“All of our children have not come home yet. Something happened! And we need to think of a plan. Fast.”

Kyle woke up. “Mommy, that was a weird dream.” said Kyle giggly

“IM NOT YOUR FUCKING MOTHER!” He woke up.

“Cartman!”

“What?”

“It wasn’t a dream KYLE!”

“Ugh.” Said Kyle, annoyed.

“Celestia! There are strange creatures that just appeared!” Said one of the guards.

“Ugh, why is it that there’s always some strange supernatural thing? Bring them in.” Suddenly all of the Children teleported in Celestia’s Castle. Where the Fuck Am I?
“What are you creatures” Said Celestia.

“We are humans” Said Stan. “Our names are Stan, Kyle , Cartman, Butters, Craig, Tweek, Token, Clyde, Bebe, Wendy, Mr.Garrison, And Mr.Hat.”

“Wow. Strange names.” Said Celestia.

“Hey is this place Equestria?” Said Bebe

“Yes it is” Said Celestia.

“Who the fuck are you?” said Cartman.

“Umm, we don’t typically use that kind of language here.” said Celestia, calmly,

“I said WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!?” said Cartman, louder.

“NO LANGUAGE!” Yelled Celestia.

“Ok you Alcoholic Amateur Analphabet Anarchist Ape Arse Arselicker Ass Ass master Ass-kisser Ass-nugget Ass-wipe Asshole Baby Backwoodsman Balls Bandit Barbar Bastard Beavis Beginner Biest Bitch Blubber gut Bogeyman Booby Boozer Bozo Brain-fart Brainless Brainy Brontosaurus Brownie Bugger Bullock Bum Bum-fucker Butt Buttfucker Butthead Callboy Callgirl Camel Cannibal Cave man Chaavanist Chaot Chauvi Cheater Chicken Children fucker Clit Clown Cock Cock master Cock up Cockboy Cockfucker Cockroach Coky Con merchant Con-man Country bumpkin Cow Creep Creep Cretin Criminal Cunt Cunt sucker Daywalker Deathlord Derr brain Desperado Devil Dickhead Dinosaur Disguesting packet Diz brain Do-Do Dog Dogshit Donkey Drakula Dreamer Drinker Drunkard Dufus Dulles Dumbo Dummy Dumpy Fake Fanny Farmer Fart Fatso Fellow Fibber Fish Fixer FlakeFlash Harry Freak Frog Fuck Fuck face Fuck head Fuck noggin Fucker-“

"THAT IS ENOUGH!” shouted Celestia. “All of you will stay here. You will learn of the magic of friendship! Kyle, Mr.Garrison, and Mr.Hat, you all will be free, since they were civil. But everybody else will pay for your insolence.” Celestia said to Cartman, who received a series of smacks to the head.

"But... You're from My Little Pony, All of those ponies The Elements of Harmony.... you like them?" said Bebe.

"Nope, I don't care" She zapped everybody else.

Kyle just couldn’t look. Then All of his friends appeared again, but something was wrong. Very wrong. “What….. The Fuck?"

. "What the fuck you did to them?"

"I'm sending you all back," Celestia said, "And Kyle? Behave,"

All of them got teleported back to where they started. "Uh, fellas... I think something's wrong with my body," said Butters.

"HAHAHA ALL OF YOU ARE FAGGOT PONIES INCLUDING Ky- Wait, Kyle, you're not a pony," Cartman said.

"You are one too!" exclaimed Kyle.

"No, I'm no- oh horseapples." At this moment Cartman started throwing up blood. Foam started coming out of his mouth. He got sick from becoming a pony.

"Oh no, what is my mom going to say?! ARRRGHH!" Tweek said, panicking again.

"WHY AM I A FUCKING PONY!" Stan screamed.

"This is worse than the time I got in a fight." muttered Craig,

Clyde, and Bebe were now Pegasi. Tweek , Craig , Cartman and Wendy were all Unicorns. Stan and Butters were Alicorns. Tolken was a Earth Pony. All of the children were horrified, but it was going to get worse for them after this.

"I have a plan," Said Randy. "Let's go and create a time machine to go back in time and see what happened to the boys"

"But where are we going to get a time machine?" Mr.McCormick Asked.

"We can go ask the Geeks for help." Said Randy.

Back in Equestria

"Children, we have to get the hell out of this forest before we encounter more wolves. Mr.Hat is going to be scared senseless unless we get out of here. Come on, Children!" All of the kids had trouble walking at first, but then they started to get the hang of it. Whether if they liked it or not.

"I don't want to walk on all fours!" complained Clyde.

"Children get down!" whispered Mr.Garrison, all of the kids ducking down.

"What do you see?" asked Kyle.

"Talking Ponies?"

"My god it's Equestria!" yelled Bebe.

"Oh, buck." Said Cartman. "HAY! WHY CAN'T I SWEAR?!"

Author's Note

Oops Maybe I didn't Use right Grammar

Chapter 1.5: Kenny and The Animals (Filler)

Kenny found himself in bed. He died many times but he always found himself back in bed. He picked up the newest Playboy magazine. He looked inside. His mouth started watering. He looked at all of the naked ladies with their ladyparts. Then he got pushed backward.

Twilight was looking for a book on prostitution when something orange flew into her library. It got propelled backward through the window. It was just sitting there. She wondered what is that?

Kenny started freaking out. He didn't know where the fuck he was. He looked forward and screamed. In front of him, there were 3 black things with blue eyes. "Who are you?" one of them said."No, Who are YOU?" Kenny replied. "We're Changelings, what is that magazine?"

"Nothing hehe..." "Wow look at these nudes, they're so awesome! Hey Kid where'd you find this?" "I found this at-" But before he could finish his sentence Something with rainbows Threw him back and his intestines started going everywhere.

Then the Changelings saw something, a man with black goggles and a big clock saying "ITS TIME TO STOP," Over and over again.

Author's Note

This was what happed to Kenny after he died

How did they get there?

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE THOSE CHILDREN!" Yelled PC Principal. All of those children and Mr.Garrison haven't been seen since Monday."Yes, M'mkay!" screamed Mr.Mackey. How was he going to find those children? I don't know, it's not relevant. But the point is, Stan,Kyle,Cartman,Kenny,Clyde,Tweek,Craig,Butters,Wendy,Bebe, and Mr.Garrison had not been seen in a while.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"Ok We tried to make a time machine but we made a time watcher,"
One of the geeks said. "Whats a time watcher?" Said All of them Confused as hell."It's like a time machine, but you can't interact with the world around you, Here try it!" He gave it to Randy. It was a weird box with all these buttons on it. "What do we do with it?" Asked Sharon."You Speak into it!" said one of the geeks

"Ok box, take us to South Park elementary," Said Randy. Suddenly all of the parents began warping through time. They saw the school and went inside to see the class. Everybody was talking. Suddenly, Mr.Garrison said "Field Trip Time!" And most of the kids went onto the bus. Then the bus took off. "If you want to know when the bus stops just ask it," said one of the geeks. "Ok box, take us to when the bus stops," Then they suddenly went to the broken down bus. 'Damn! 8.21232 Miles and it breaks down'. "Gerald, write that down!" Yelled Sharon. Suddenly they saw a portal appear then the boys going through it."Oh my god, when I find Butters I'm going to ground the fucking shit out of him!" Yelled his dad.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"Ok, 3.2.1 Start!" Yelled Randy. The Parents got a bus and would stop the bus in the same position. A few miles later, they came to 8.21211 mark.
"Ok, time to stop! 3.2.1!" Yelled Butter's Mom. All of the parents stopped the bus. Luckily the portal appeared, and all of the parents went through the portal.

The many thoughts of Kyle

Kyle sat down and thought for a while. Many thoughts went through his head. Where were he and his friends were going to go? He already met a pony named a Pinkie Pi-What!
That all went through his head, what!”WHAT THE FUCK!” yelled Kyle. “What’s wrong?” asked Stan confused and terrified. “Nothing,” said Kyle.
He was in a world in Pastel colored ponies and stuck there; and on top of that, his friends were turned into ponies! Why the fuck was he here! Well, he wondered and wondered and then he thought of that so hard that he thought of that song boulevard of broken dreams. “I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known Don't know where it goes But it's home to me and I walk alone I walk this empty street On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams Where the city sleeps And I'm the only one and I walk alone I walk alone I walk alone I walk alone I walk a... My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me 'Til then I walk alone Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah I'm walking down the line That divides me somewhere in my mind On the borderline Of the edge and where I walk alone Read between the lines Of what's fucked up and everything's alright Check my vital signs To know I'm still alive and I walk alone I walk alone I walk alone I walk alone I walk a... My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me 'Til then I walk alone Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah Ah-ah, ah-ah I walk alone I walk a...” “KYLE! PAY ATTENTION HOLY SHOOT!” Carman Yelled as he threw up over and over and over again.” I feel really bucking sick and I have this stupid faggot spell on me!” He yelled. “C-cartman why don’t you calm down?” said Butters, really scared. “Wait what’s that noise?” Said Tolken. “Kids? Kids?” said the parents. “Where are you?” “Hide!” whispered Stan. All of the children hid. “Ah fuck,” said Clyde’s dad. All of them left.

AppleJack

Kenny was fucked. He had just died a while ago and he hated it.

“WHY THE FUCK IS MY LIFE LIKE THIS!” Kenny screamed in agony. But sadly, nobody could hear any word he said over the parka. He woke up in his bed, like usual and wondered where his friends were.

He cried inside the parka.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Kyle was sweating, he had never been so scared in his life. What If his parents found out that his friends were ponies?

What was he going to do do?

“Cartman, why do you look so sick?” Kyle asked.

“BECAUSE I’M A BUCKING PONY!” Cartman Yelled

“We should keep moving” Said Mr.Garrison, worried.

“You’re right!” said Wendy

And all of those ponies or Humans went off to find something elese.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“God damn where are those kids!” Yelled Randy. “I don’t know Randy, Maybe we’re not even in the right place,” Said Stans mom.

“I think that little Kenny bastard isn’t here,” said Kyle’s dad.

“Why is that?” Said Butter’s dad. “I just have a feeling that he isn’t here,”

“EVERYBODY! We Have to keep looking!” Yelled Randy

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“I’m still getting a feel for these new legs,” said Butters.

“Don’t talk about that,” said Clyde.

“Why not?”

“It’s weird- I don’t know,”

“Why are you complaining?” Asked Bebe

“We’re FUCKING PONIES IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION!” Said Craig.

“Maybe It’s a different planet,” said Stan.

“OH MY GOD! LOOK! IT’S A FARM!” said Stan.

Ahead of all of the children, was a farm. But somewhere near it there was an orange pony. The orange pony was using it’s hind legs to get off apples from the apple trees. They were looking at it and it looked at them.

“Oh wow there’s a lot of y’al-“ said the Orange pony.

“Oh my Celestia,” said the orange pony.

“Theres a new critter i’ve never seen before. What is that critter?” as she asked Stan.

“Ummmm..” he stuttered “A.a Human, I’m one of them two!” He put his hoof on Kyle. Kyle flinched.

“What are y’all names?” asked the orange pony.

“Stan,Kyle,Cartman,Butters,Tweek,Craig,Token,Cylde,Wendy,Bebe and Mr.Garrison.” said Token.

“Wow y’all have weird names,” said the Orange pony.

“What’s yours?” asked Clyde.

“My name’s AppleJack,” said AppleJack.

“So what is this place?” Asked Stan.

“It’s an apple farm,” said Apple Jack

“An apple farm!? How do you get those apples?” asked Butters.

“I Buck um!” said AppleJack happily.

“You mean, stick your big vagina into the tree’s penis until it gives you apples?” asked Carman.

“excuse me?” said AppleJack.

“I use my hind legs to get the apples out of the tree. Wanna try?”

“Sure,” said Wendy.

She put up her hind legs and hit the tree and hit it. Apples came flying off in all directions.

“Where is everything else?” asked Mr.Garrison.

“What are you talking about?” asked AppleJack.

“Cows,Chickens,Sheep, Meat,”said Mr.Garrison.

“Meat is illegal,” said AppleJack

“OH NO! MEAT IS ILLEGAL ARRRUGGH!” said Tweek.

“Ha what a bitch,” said Mr.Garrison sarcastically.

Suddenly, AppleJack came running towards Mr.Garrison with her two hind legs,

“YOU STUPID NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK!” she yelled at Mr.Garrison.

Everybody stood there in shock.

“Woah, holy shit bitch!” yelled Kyle.

Suddenly, The same thing happened to Kyle.

Something clicked in Stan’s mind. An anger began sweeping towards him fast.

“No, no NO!” yelled Stan.

Stan ran over and started punching AppleJack.

“YOU FUCKING FAGGOT YOU HURT PEOPLE FOR WORDS YOU STUPID NIGGER!” and started punching AppleJack until she was knocked out.

“Woah, Stan I’m fine, let’s go!” yelled Kyle

Epilouge

Kyle woke up from the dream. He was asstuned. Petrified. The bad acting, the horrible dialogue, the wonky story, the unrealistic actions, fucking shitty 'comedy' ,the author making no fucking sense, and horrible grammar that would come from a 12 year old.

Kyle decided to forget about it and move on.

He still remembers it though.

Festering in the back of his mind like a fucking red thing

THEN EVERYBODY DIED. THE END" Patrick said

"Kill yourself said SpongeBob. "Do It."

Author's Note

FINALLY IT'S OVER! THE NIGHTMARE IS OVER! HALLEIUJAH!

Pinkie Pie

"Children! Come on!" Mr. Garrison yelled at them quietly.
All of the children hid behind a bush.
"Ooooh, what are all of you ponies sitting out here you'll catch a cold!" Said a pink pony.
"That's Pinkie Pie" muttered Bebe.
"And I have to help everypony and-" She stared at something.
"No-no it can't be," she said.
"That's a human! A mythical creature from an alternate dimension!"
She ran up to Kyle.
"What's your name?" she asked
"Kyle,"
"Let's get inside!" Pinkie pie said impatiently.
"Let's have lunch! I baked fresh cupcakes for everybody!" said Pinkie Pie excitedly.
"Wait. We don't eat cupcakes for lunch," Said Stan
"What! You don't eat cupcakes, you could've been dead by now!" Pinkie Pie said
"Oh man, I don't want to die of Dietbedies! AHHH!"
"Whats a Dietbedies?" Asked Pinkie Pie
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"Hello?" Said Randy, Knocking on the door.
"hi who are you?" said the geek guy.
"We want you to build a time machine," said Randy
"sure, come on in"
All of the parents went in.
"there are 2 kinds of time travel there is-"
"Just do the best method!" Yelled Randy's Wife
"first all of we will have to build a time portal by having a device to do it,"
"Ok, so where's the device?"
"We need a lot of time to build it"
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"So what are your names?" Asked Pinkie Pie.
"Our names are Stan,Kyle,Cartman,Kenny,Butters,Tweek,Token,Craig,Clyde,Bebe,Wendy,Mr.Garrison and Mr.Hat."
"Wow strange names," said Pinkie Pie
"So, what's your name blackface," asked Cartman
"Pinkie Pie,"
"No, You have a strange name!" said Clyde
"You know you can go over to other buildings,people will help you there,"
Then everybody went out from the house.