Cap U's Drunken MacDash Ramblings

by Jake The Army Guy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Big Macintosh, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Romance
Length: 11282

Captain Unstoppable is a raging alcoholic and a crazed shipper

Alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Sometimes people indulge.

Sometimes people overindulge.

Sometimes people get shit-faced whammered and write about cartoon horses in relationships.

Join us as Captain Unstoppable abuses his liver and writes some OTP for you and me, along with some side-pairings that we like. A series of prompts I gave him while he was drunk as a skunk. Written by him, polished up by me. Will update the next time Cap gets into the Angry Orchard.

Published 2016-08-21 19:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-06 02:50:26 UTC

Zap Apple Goes to Prom

"Mom... why?"

"Because you are going to score on prom night! That is the way things will go!"

"Dad..."

"Just do as your mothers says,"

Zap Apple sighed out in defeat as he stood before his parents, his mother marching back and forth like a Drill Sergeant. Tonight was prom night and he was running late to pick up Gem Storm, the daughter of Rarity and Thunderlane. He was all set, too; he had a tux, a corsage all picked out, and even did his mane up so it was not windswept. Yet before he could go, his mother was giving him the 'talk' or at least her version of it. Her own messed up version of it.

"You are the son of the two most awesome ponies in all of Equestrai! A Wonderbolt and a Apple farmer! You are destined for greatness! You are destined to be the most awesome pony of all time!"

"Mom... it's just prom! Nothing t—"

"You are to get with the head cheerleader tonight or you are a disgrace!" Zap looked over to his father, who just rolled his eye, the other covered by an eyepatch. He smiled at his son before Dash turned around.

"You are not only fast, but strong! You are an amazing flyer, apple farmer, and if I do say, sexy as hell! There is no reason why you should not get with the head cheerleader!"

"Um, isn't this the daughter of one of your best—"

Rainbow Dash turned on Zap apple, her magenta eyes glaring into his own set, making the young stallion swallow the lump in his throat.

"I don't care who it is! You are to be the winner! The best! The most awesome! Do whatever it takes!" Rainbow Dash shouted, as she walked over to Zap. "Do I make myself clear cadet?!"

"Dashie... did you do it on yer prom night?" Rainbow's face turned red, as she looked back at her husband, who's head was cocked, scratching his chin.

"Um..." was all Rainbow said while she looked around, as if for an excuse. "I mean... no... I mean... high school was odd for me... and..." Mac just chuckled as he walked past his wife, kissing her on the cheek.

"Ah'll be yer naughty prom date," Mac said, and while Zap could not see his mother's face he could tell her face turned a shade red deeper, as he tried not to vomit. Yes, his parents had to do it for him to be born, but that doesn't mean he wants to think about it.

Before he could throw up, Zap was interrupted by a nudge on the shoulder. Looking up, he saw his father standing before him with a grin.

"Just have fun, son," Mac said, wrapping his son in a hug. "Just remember, wrap it before you tap it," Mac whispered in Zap's ear. "That was how your sister's were born" he laughed, making Zap shudder again

Author's Note

If you're wondering why Mac had an eyepatch, it's because he is the Ghost Rider...

Their First Kiss

Apple Bloom cocked her head, looking at the scene before her. She knew that it was her brother and Rainbow Dash. Though they were far off, she could clearly see them in the distance. They were sitting under a tree in the distance.

She had heard they'd been seeing one another, like grown up ponies do, but something seemed off about it. Mac was rubbing the back of his head with one hoof, as Rainbow's wings fluttered like crazy. The pair of them had gone out for a late afternoon lunch, and when they returned the sun was setting and now there was limited light left and they were still out.

She was supposed to be in bed, but with Mac out she and Applejack had to fill in for a few chores and it had left her in a position to see the pair of ponies looking so out of place.

From what she had seen of Rainbow Dash, and how Scootaloo talked about her, Rainbow didn't seem like a pony that would never get nervous. Yet there she was, wings fluttering and not looking her brother in the eyes.

Mac on the other hoof was just sitting there, not looking at Rainbow Dash, but he was smiling and scratching the back of his head. Mac never acted that way, he was always so calm and collected, he looked like Rumble when asking Sweetie out.

The sun kept sinking lower into the sky, yet the two of them just sat there trying not look at one another for too long. Every time they did they locked eyes for just a second before looking away.

She cocked her head some more as she kept on watching. Applebloom had always thought that ponies that liked one another were always comfortable around one another, or at least that is how AJ's secret books always played it. Yet here was her brother and Rainbow Dash just sitting there, looking more nervous than a cat in a rocking chair factory.

"There you are Bloom!" Applebloom turned around to find Applejack walking towards her. "Ah told ya ta drop em' baskets off nearly thirty minutes ago. What's takein' ya so long?" Applejack asked, coming up next to Applebloom. The filly looked to her sister, before the couple out in the fields.

"Did you and Soarin have so much trouble kissin' yer fist time?" Applebloom asked, looking to Applejack. "Ah mean, ya always seem ta kiss," Applebloom looked back to Applejack, her mouth hanging open.

"Wh... Ah don... what do ya..."

"Ah mean, yer never bring him around the farm, but yer dating right?" Applebloom watched as Applejack's mouth open and closed a few times, as though she was trying to talk yet no words were coming out, confusing the filly even more.

"How did ya..."

"Yer room is right next ta mine," Applebloom said, no malice in her voice, just stating a fact. "Ah here tappin' on the window and then some strange noise fer a hour or two, till ah hear ya tellin' Soarin ta git goin'," Applebloom said. "Do ya snuggle all night?" Applejack just stared at Applebloom, before looking up at Mac and Rainbow Dash.

"Ah'll tell ya when yer older," she growled, puling her hat over her red face. "Fer now, leave them be," Applejack said, turning away.

"Huh? Why?" Applebloom asked, looking back at her brother and Rainbow Dash. Since she was talking to her older sister, the pair had become closer to one another, their foreheads touching.

"It's private!" Applejack hissed, as she turned back to Applebloom and started to push her away. "Besides, we got ta have a talk about you spyin' on ponies again!"

"Huh?! Ah didn't do nothin!" Appleboom retorted, looking back at Applejack. As she did, she caught the moment Mac pulled away from Rainbow Dash, just for a second before leaning forward. Before he could reach her, Rainbow Dash wrapped her hooves around Mac's thick neck and slammed her lips against his.

The Birth of the Twins

Mac was by no means a slow stallion. Sure, he didn't talk much, but he knew a great amount of things thanks to the drive to read. Reading had helped him many times in the past, from how to plant seeds, taking care of livestock, and best of it all, it had helped him get with the mare of his dreams.

The mare of his dreams that was threatening to castrate him.

"Alright Mrs. Dash, you're doing great! I can see the head of the first foal."

"Mac, you son of a bitch! You did this to me! I said one and done, you bastard! You gave me twins!"

"Yer right, Dash. Ah'm a bastard," Mac said, trying not grimace at how hard Rainbow was squeezing his hoof. He could have sworn Zap had been a smoother delivery than this. That, or he had blocked it all out. "Just think about beatin' yer time."

"Y...you're right," she heaved. "Just... just gotta f-focus."

Rainbow had been steadfast that she was going to be a one and done mom after the birth of their son Zap Apple, a healthy Pegasus colt. While Mac had always wanted a big family, he would never want to cut Rainbow's career as Wonderbolt short because of such things. He respected his wife above all else, and did what she asked of him as a good husband should... within reason.

Though when Rainbow was in heat, there was very little he could to keep to that. She was a whole other pony when she was in heat, with plans and adjectives that Mac would not see coming till it was too late. The night that had led to the current situation, he had come home from work not knowing that Zap was spending the night at his Aunt Fluttershy and Uncle Braeburn's place. He most certainly did not expect to find his wife waiting for him dressed in such a manner that he thought would result in quite and awkward situation for him, the doctor, and the nurses in the room.

That night, safety did not cross either of their minds.

"Alrighty, I need another big push!" The doctor called out, greeted by Rainbow's screams of pain as she gave another hard push. Mac was sure his hoof was going to break in two, but he would not withdraw till his wife was not in pain anymore.

After a few seconds of Rainbow's screams, a new set of high screams filled the room much higher and were screams of crying.

"Alright! The first one is out! A beautiful Pegasus filly!" the doctor called out, as a nurse came up behind him and wrapped the new born in pink blankets. "And here comes the other, just keep on pushing Rainbow Dash,"

"Okay, okay, here we goooOOO-MAC I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! Rainbow screamed, as she pushed, gripping Mac's hoof even harder. Mac could only clench his jaw in pain, as he smiled at Rainbow.

"Whatever ya want, dear, whatever you want," Mac said, trying to keep any pain out of his voice. Rainbow just gave out another roar of pain as the next contraction came through. As much pain as he was in, Mac could not help but look at the crying filly that was being held just out of reach of him.

She looked perfect, her coat was a light pink, with a deep blue mane. She was crying out as the nurse weighed and measured her. All Mac wanted to do was hold her, but he dared not leave his wife.

"Mac!" Rainbow cried out, before her cry turned into a long scream as she pushed with all her might. Once more, her screams were combined with those of a cry of a new born filly.

"Congratulations, Mister and Missus Apple, you are the proud parents of pair of healthy filly Pegasi!" The doctor said, as the nurse wrapped the second filly in pink blankets.

Dash let out several large breaths. "W... w-what was my time?"

The doctor groaned. "Ms. Dash, I really don't think—"

"Time?"

"Ugh, four hours and 32 minutes."

"Yes! Beat my last time! Now, give me my foals!" Rainbow growled, her sky blue coat drenched in sweat. "And don't give me any bullshit! I just pushed them out of me! I want them!" The nurse looked to the doctor, who merely shrugged as he stepped away form Rainbow Dash, letting the blanket cover Rainbow Dash.

"I'm Sorry, Ms. Dash, but they need a bit of a once-over before you c—"

"Give... me... my... foals!" Rainbow Dash growled, before turning towards the nurses. "NOW!" The nurses complied with her commands and quickly dropped the pair of twins into their mother's waiting forelegs, both of them crying out.

"Shh, shh, mama's here," Rainbow said, as she held the pair of them. Mac could only smile as he looked down at the pair of light pink fillies with blue manes. He did not dare move forward. He knew that as much as he loved his two new daughters, right now their mother was the only love that they needed. All the other ponies in the room stepped away from the mother and her two new foals, not wanting to intrude.

"Mac," Rainbow whispered, looking down at the two fillies, still crying out.

"Um... yes?" Mac asked, as he looked at the three mares that he did not think he could love more than he already did.

"I love you."

Trying to Impress Him

"Now hold still ya stubborn mule," Applejack growled as she sprayed the cut on Rainbow's leg. The Pegasus hissed in pain, fighting the urge to buck back and forth. She held still though, even though she wanted to bolt.

The two mares were in the Apple's kitchen, Applejack walking around Rainbow Dash spraying any cut she could see with anti-bacterial spray to keep infections at a minimum.

Dash's whole body was in pain, from the tip of her nose to the end of her tail. Her body was covered in scratches and scrapes, an nice big bruise forming on her chest. With ever beat of her heart, a pulse of pain went through her body.

"Shut up!" Rainbow Dash growled back, not looking back at Applejack. It was embarrassing enough that she had to get help, not even going into why she was here. She just ground her teeth as Applejack liberally sprayed more of the stinging fluid on Rainbow's wounds.

"What were ya thinkin, performing a Sonic Rainboom so close to the ground?! Yer lucky ya just scratched yerself up and not breaking yer neck." Rainbow rolled her eyes. She didn't need a second mother telling her what she should and should not do, let alone the third and fourth mothers once Fluttershy, Twilight, and Rarity found out. They would all try to give her a lecture about how what she was doing was irresponsible. Then they would question her to no end about why she was doing such dangerous things.

"Cant tell ya how lucky you were that Mac was close by, otherwise who knows how long ya would have been out there," Applejack said, before pulling out a roll of tape from the medical kit the Apples kept for injuries on the job.

Rainbow Dash had to hold back the second groan at Applejack's comment. Standing in the doorway of the kitchen was Mac, watching Applejack as she wrapped her up, chewing on that ever present sprig of wheat in his mouth.

Earlier that day, Rainbow Dash had been practicing her Wonderbolt routines above the Apple farm, including her famous Sonic Rainboom. That in itself was not uncommon, the air above the farm was clear and went on for acres. She was totally not there to practice above a certain red stallion or anything. She didn't go to just above the treeline to perform a Rainboom to just make sure he was watching or anything. No, it was totally a freak coincidence that he was there when she was practicing such a stunt.

Rainbow was pulled from her thoughts as Applejack pulled on a bandage much tighter than she needed, causing Rainbow wings to flutter. "Not so tight!" Rainbow growled as she looked back at Applejack, who just glowered at her, and gave a few more tugs to just aggravate pain she was already in. Spitting out the tape, Applejack closed the medical kit.

"That should take care of that," Applejack said as she turned to Rainbow again. "Now, thanks ta yer little accident, Ah'm late fer mah date," Applejack said, kicking the medical kit away. "And Ah'm groudin' ya."

Rainbow whipped around to Applejack, magenta eyes wide and full of rage. "You're what?!"

"Grounding you!" Applejack spat, returning Rainbow's glare with her own. "Ah'm not gonna let ya fly out of here ta hurt yerself even more. Mah Soarin already has ta deal with so much. Ah aint' gonna let yer stupid choice affect him," Applejack said, brushing past Rainbow Dash. "Mac's in charge, don't give him lip!" Applejack said, shooting Rainbow a look over her shoulder before stomping out of the house.

"That's not fair..." Rainbow didn't get to finish as the door slammed shut. Giving out a growl, Rainbow looked over her bandaged self. This was not how she wanted the day to go. Shaking on leg, she tried to figure out what her next move should be, when the sound of hoofsteps on wood rang out.

"Yer feelin' alright Miss Dash?" Rainbow Dash felt her face grow red, as she heard the sound of the deep voice of Big Mac.

"Ye... yeah! Perfectly okay!" Rainbow Dash forced out the laugh, brushing off some invisible dust on her shoulder. "Takes more than a few scrapes to keep this flyer down!" She laughed.

"That's good," Mac said, his voice warm and inviting. "Fraid Ah wasn't gonna see ya fly fer awhile."

Rainbow's heart skipped a beat at those words. "Uh... really?"

"Course," Mac said, "Seein' ya fly is one of mah favorites part of the day." Rainbow still refused to look up at him, afraid she would see how hard she was blushing. She had been flying over the farm for quite sometime, and she had never seen the big lug look up at her.

"Ah might love mah family orchard, seein' ya fly around in the air, so free and graceful like, it just makes my day," Mac said, this time, Rainbow could not help but look up at Mac. He didn't seem any different than he normally was. Big, strong, chewing on some wheat, and the brightest green eyes she had ever seen, though they were focused right on her.

Mac just smiled at her. "Seein' ya do all of em flips and tricks makes me want ta look up and around once and fer awhile," He said, still smiling. "Hope ya don't stay on the ground fer too long," Mac said with a grind. "Hate not seeing you fly" Mac said, winking her before walking past her.

Teach Me to Fly

"Um... Dashie... Ah'm not too sure if this is a..."

"Oh come on Mac! Its now nature intended it to be! Birds do this all the time!"

"Ah'm not a bird..."

"Same principle! Just jump!"

Mac stared down the cliff side, swallowing a lump in his throat as he did. His mind was racing with what had possessed him to do such a thing, besides to make his Dash happy. Rainbow had convinced Twilight to give him a pair of wings for the day, so the pair of them could go flying through the skies.

Mac had always enjoyed the idea of being able to fly through the skies with Rainbow Dash, to be able to give her everything she could ever want in life. He was just hoping for a few more lessons before being kicked off the side of a cliff.

"It will be fine Mac, just let nature do its thing and you will be flying in no time!" Mac rolled his eyes, before looking back at Rainbow Dash. She was perfectly content with everything, hovering a few feet off the ground as she waited for him to take the plunge, to jump off the cliff and go soaring through the skies without a care in the world.

Yet he was an Earth pony still, just with wings.

He had dreamed of flying, he had dreamed of being an Alicorn able to do anything and everything, but that was a dream where he could not be hurt. This was the real deal, where if he jumped and did not fly he would be leaving a lot of things behind.

"Uh... wouldn't... lessons be better? You could shout at me," Mac sad, pleading with his marefriend as she just rolled his eyes. He knew she liked yelling him during certain activities, and was hoping that those activities would be enough to spare his life. He looked down the side of the cliff and gulped, not wanting to jump.

"Mac," the stallion turned around, just in time to see Rainbow Dash walking towards him. "I know your scared, and so am I," Rainbow started, coming up betide Mac, and rubbed her head against his side, trailing up his neck. The sensation sent a chill through Mac's body as he felt her soft fur press against his own.

"I love you, and that not something I take lightly," she continued, as she pressed her head under his chin, rubbing him so softly that Mac could not help but lean into it. "Your my everything. A strong, well meaning, and just amazing stallion that I would never trade in a million years." Mac began to rub his chin against her more, giving out a sigh as he relaxed, loving the feeling of his Dash against him. At times his Rainbow Dash could be as soft, gentle, and soft spoken as Fluttershy. It was a side that only he was able to see, and loved her so much for it.

"But..." Mac felt a sudden pain in his backside, a hard smack that sent him forward and over the cliff. His eyes grew wide as he tried to back up but there was nothing but air between him and the ground. "I want to see my stallion fly!"

"DASH!" Mac screamed as he started to plummet towards the ground. His life flashed before his eyes as he did, playing tag with his dad, AJ being born, taking over the farm, Appleboom getting her cutie mark, to asking Rainbow out after guys night. All of it came to him in a flash as the ground got even closer. He closed his eyes, waiting for impact as he tried to will himself away from the situation.

His thoughts kept racing to his first date with Rainbow Dash, when Granny threaten to clip his wings, to a few unmentionable details such as when Rainbow sneaked him into the changing room for some activities that he had been raised to only happen in the bedroom... or... things that should just not happen but were very enjoyable.

All the while he was just waiting for the splat, waiting to feel his body being smashed against the ground and nothing else. He was going to see so many of his family again, though explaining how he died did not bring great comfort.

Except, nothing happen.

He didn't feel dead, nor did he feel anything. Just the feel of a soft autumn breeze on his face. Opening one eye, he was not sure when he closed them, he scanned the area around him.

Instead of fluffy clouds of a life beyond, he only saw the green fields of Ponyville, and out of in the distance the trees of his farm. Mac was not sure what to believe, as eh opened both eyes and scanned the area more closely. He was just there.

"See Mac! Just needed a bit of encouragement!" Mac looked up, to see Rainbow Dash above him, just beaming at him. Mac then looked down, unsure what had kept him from dying. Once he saw though, his heart gave a start.

He was hovering at least six feet off the ground. As soon as Mac realized this, the wings he had been using stopped and he fell to the ground with a 'oof' as he made contact with the ground.

"At least... you almost did" Rainbow said, landing right beside him. She looked him over, and besides the groans and a few bruises that might show up later he was fine. "You were great Mac! Better than most first timers! I mean, yeah when I flew for the first time I was already racing, but still a good first showing for your..." before Rainbow could finish, Mac had gotten to his hooves and dragged her to the ground with him, rolling them so that he was on top.

"Ah nearly fell too mah death, and stopped myself in the nick of time, to hear you tell me about how great of a flyer you were from the start?" Mac asked, staring into Rainbow's magenta eyes. Rainbow just stared back, cocking her head slightly as he asked her, before looking up at the sky and back of him.

"Well duh. I am the best flyer in all of Equestria, and your marefriend, you dolt," she said, before kissing him on the nose. "What else did you expect?"

Random Fluffy/Sexy Shipping Overdose

To say Big Mac was tired would be an understatement. He had pushed himself passed the point of exhaustion and he was just ready to pass out. All he wanted to do was lay down in his bed and enter the world of dreams.

The past few days of apple harvesting had been some of the hardest. Not because of the amount of trees that needed to be bucked, the collecting of apples, or anything like that. No, the problem was an internal one that was driving Mac up a wall. For the problem this year revolved around Applejack and Braebrurn.

Mac had thought with his cousin moving to Ponyville the work would have become a lot easier, in fact he welcomed it. Another stallion to help out on the farm that was almost as strong as he was would have been a welcomed relief. As much as he prided himself on being the strongest stallion in Ponyville, Bulk eat your heart out, there was only so much he could do. That and having his first serious marefriend, he was welcoming the extra time to go spend with her.

Those plants would put on hold, for it seemed that all the Apples had grown found of wings in one way or another.

Mac was used to Applejack missing work, having missions to go on and ponies to help was an acceptable reason to miss out on work. Heck, Mac was sometimes jealous of his little sister for her exciting life going off to far off lands to help others. This harvest though, she had other priorities that put the farm in second.

That being Soarin Nimbus.

Her coltfriend.

Mac shouldn't have felt cheated, this was the first serious coltfreind she ever had, and he was happy for her. Soarin was the best coltfriend an older brother could ask for. He treated her right form the very start, bringing her flowers, chocolates, and gifts of every kind, and the only things he ever asked for were either an peck on the cheek or an apple pie.

A normal pie, not his sister's pie.

Never pushing her boundaries and was wrapped around her hoof like no other. Heck, if anypony should be worried for in the relationship it was Soarin. He would bend over backwards just to see AJ smile, and that brought a smile to Mac's heart.

He just wished that it didn't involve dates outside of Ponyville during apple bucking season.

Braeburn was another story all together. He had fillyfriends before, so many that Mac couldn't keep count of them all. They had been all over the place from farmers, shop keeper daughters, a few bar mares, and even that filly Trixie, the lucky son of a goat. Though this time Braeburn swore he got it right, that he found the mare that would make an honest stallion out of him yet, and was more than happy to live a life without the occasional role in the hay.

Who was this new mare? Why, it was the most unlikely of all mares to tame the wild beast of Braeburn Apple.

Fluttershy.

Why, the entire reason Braeburn had moved to Ponyville was to be closer to her. From what he heard, the pair of them had been pen pals ever since they had first met in Appleossa all those years ago, and if Braeburn was to be believed, those letters turned hot rather quickly.

As hard as it was to see, it seemed that a mare had finally tied Braeburn down and he was enjoying every second of it.

Though those seconds he was enjoying were seconds Mac would have liked his help back on the farm. It had been a very good year for apple trees and the fruit they barred were plentiful, meaning their was much work to be done. Work that Mac had to do all on his own as his sister and cousin got to spend all the time they wanted with the pony that caught their fancy.

He was too nice at times Mac, was. For he had finally caught the attention of a mare that many would have killed for. One that seemed out of reach just as Celestia and Luna were. Yet due to this season he was not able to spend much time her, and could only image the wrath she had in store for him when he finally came about.

That could wait till later though. Right now, the only sight Mac wanted to see was his bed.

Pushing open the door to his room, Mac could only give a sigh of relief as he saw his twin size bed. The dark blue comforter seemed like a bed of clouds that was formed for just him, and the warmth under the two thick sheets and sheet was the only cure for a tired and aching pony such as himself. Trotting up towards his bed, Mac knew he should take a good shower to wash the stink off of him, but the call of sleep was too great to him.

Throwing back the covers of his bed, Mac flopped down onto the soft surface with a sigh of utter relief, eyes already closed ready to enter the peaceful darkness of a well deserved sleep. A good night sleep was what he needed for the work tomorrow. He had not seen hair, nor shadow of his sister or cousin that day and he doubted he would see them for quite some time. He was going to need all the sleep he could if he wanted to get the harvest done by week ends.

"Hey their sexy, you come here often?"

That was unless his fillyfreind decided to get to him first.

Cracking open one eye, Mac wasn't surprise to see the mare of his dreams laying right next to him. Posed their like a mare out of PlayColt magazine was his own Rainbow Dash, smiling at him like a cat that had caught her prey and was going to play with it as long as she could with it.

He didn't know how he could have missed her when he had flopped into bed, with that striking rainbow mane, beautify eyes, and coat of blue that not even the sky could compare to. Yes, he might have been bit of poet when it came to her, but what stallion wouldn't be when they were lucky enough to call Rainbow Dash their marefreind?

"Evenin' Dashie," Mac muttered, he was already half asleep barley able to keep his one eye open to look at her. "Mah bed... come here quite often," Mac said, as he extended a forleg over to her, wanting to pull her in close. One thing he loved about having a fillyfriend was the sleeping partner, nothing felt better to Mac than to wrap a hoof around the pony they loved.

"Very true," Rainbow said, allowing Mac's foreleg to wrap around her, using it as a opportunity to get closer. "I'm not used to seeing one pony in it," she mused, kissing Mac on the nose, before moving very to Mac. "Alone."

Mac had to suppress a grown. He knew what Rainbow wanted, and he wanted to give it to her so badly. While he enjoyed sleeping with her most night, their were certain activates they would get into that would be more than worth a few lost hours of sleep.

Tonight wasn't one of those night.

While Dash's kisses moved from her nose, to jaw line, and down his neck Mac could only moan in slight discomfort.

"Not tonight Dashie, Ah'm just puckered out," Mac groaned, as he wrapped his foreleg around Rainbow more, pulling her in close. "Ah just want to sleep," a snort escaped Rainbow's nose, and Mac knew he was doomed.

"And?" Rainbow growled as she pushed herself closer to Mac, pressing her nose against his. "It has been nearly three weeks since I saw you off the farm last, four weeks since you took me out on a proper date, and even longer since we had a good round" Rainbow growled, pressing herself up against Mac.

The stallion could not deny how god it felt to feel a mare against him, to feel her against him.

He would love nothing more than to give her the attention she needed, to give her the love he had denied her for so long. Yet, he did not have the energy to, otherwise he would have thrown caution to the wind and would have done anything she asked of her.

"Ah'm sorry darlin," Mac said, as he pressed his forehead against hers. "Ya know any other time Ah'd make love to ya without hesitation," Mac kissed her on the lips, before simply holding her close. "But this season is milkin' me dry," Mac groaned as he just held onto his blue bird. "Ya know Ah love ya, right?"

Dash just gave out a huff, as she pushed herself closer to Mac, not letting go of him even though he could feel she was in need of some attention. For several seconds, Mac just laid their, holding her close not sure of what to say or do. Every fiber of his being wanted him to sleep, but he didn't dare till he knew his Dashie was alright.

"Just not fair," Rainbow muttered as she placed her head under Mac's chin and snuggled up against him. "Applejack is at Soarin's place, probably having the time of her life. and Fluttershy and Braeburn haven't come out of her cabin for the last three days. All he while my coltfriend gets stuck doing their work." Rainbow Dash growled, as she nestled her head against Mac's chin.

"Wait... what was that about Applejack?" Mac asked, rising an eyebrow as he tried to look down at his fillyfriend.

"Just promises me that when the first barrel of cider is ready, its for me," Rainbow said, as she gave out a deep sigh, placing a wing over Mac. The stallion just gave out a sigh of relief. a barrel of cider was not worth much in comparison of keeping his fillfreind happy.

"The first five are all yours" Mac said, as he pulled her in close. Rainbow just nodded her head up against Mac's chest, as she started to drift off to sleep. Mac just gave out a sigh, glad that he was able to keep her happy and get some sleep.

With a deep sigh, Mac just tighten his grip around Rainbow Dash, and let himself go ready to enter the land of dream that Luna had prepared for him.

"Oh and Mac," Rainbow said, not urgency to her voice. "I'm pregnant,"

Author's Note

I don't give a fuck!
I love MacDash!
Fuck my liver.

The Morning After

Appleack gave out a low sigh, she could not remember the last time she felt so warm and at peace. The soreness and stiffness of her joints felt like they had evaporate from her body, that she was a new mare ready to take on the world!

Yet she was not ready to. She just wanted to stay in bed and stay close to this warm feeling she felt, that encompassed her entirely. It was long over due in her opinion to feel this amazing, but she was thankful for it anyway.

In that moment, between sleep and awakening, Applejack made herself comfortable in that warmth and tried her best to drift back into dreamland, where she could prance around with that stallion that wanted her, and her only.

It seemed as though in the last few months all of her best friends have found that special somepony that would always be there for them no mater what the cost. Thudnerlane and Rarity had made their relationship known to all in the most fantastic way possible; all of Rarity's doing with a kiss under the gazebo in front of town square of Heart and Hooves day. Applejack could still see Thunderlane's face that day. a mix of shock and awe when Rarity declared that he was hers, and hers alone.

Pinkie Pie and Caramel had even declared their devotion to one another in the most spectacular of ways, of Pinkie Pie tackling the poor fool on the train station unable to let her "Carmel Dumble Wumple" go for more than a few days. The display did traumatize and few mares, colts, and unfortunately those even younger. From that day on, however, everypony knew that Caramel and Pinkie were together and no mater what the law might say, the would always be together and ready to fool around wherever.

Then their was the worst of all, Rainbow Dash. Yes, she loved that imbecile flyer that crashed more than any other Pegasus she knew, outside of Derpy. She had found love in the form of her own big brother Macintosh Apple. To this day she had no idea how the two of them wound up together, they were just so opposite of one of another that the idea that they got together confused Applejack to no end.

Yet their they were, standing before most of Ponyville in the Apple's Farm announcing their marriage, as their first foal was on their way.

That triggered a few things within Applejack.

Last night was the party for Big Mac and Rainbow Dash, and all of Ponyville, Wonderbolts, and any pony else was invited to the celebration that was on Pinkie's invite list. The entire evening was filled with drinking, dancing, and all around debauchery; the likes Applejack had never seen before. At first she wanted nothing to do with it, content to stand in the corner and watch the rest of her friends have the time of her lives.

Though she remembered a stallion inviting her to dance. He had the most charming smile she had ever seen, eyes that were so much like her own but had an feeling of warmth to them that she had never felt. Before her mind could even realize it, her mouth had said 'Eeyup' and then she was dancing with the stallion.

Applejack gave out a groan a she tried to remember more of the stallion. Her mind was still foggy from the amount of cider she drank. Granny just kept offering her and the stallion she was dancing with more, she could still the pearly white smile of Granny Smith as she and this mysterious stallion swallowed the hardest drink the Apples had, the Washington Apple, a connection that was never to be served except to the strongest of Apples.

Granny Smith had also served it to Rainbow Dash and Mac, then to Braeburn and Fluttershy. Not only was it know to be the strongest of the Apples' drinks, but the one that was used to make bad decisions that extended the Apple Family Tree.

Applejack's eyes widen at that thought, pulling her far from the land of dream that Luna supplied. There was no way that Granny served that drink to her and the mysterious stallion in order to extend the family tree, right?

Sure, Granny Smith might be unreadable at times, doing thing that only Pinkie Pie would understand; yet she would never give her such a drink for such a purpose right?

Her mind was just racing with all the horrible possibilities that could have happen from a one night fling. To meet a random stallion and have some fun, and that fun leading to a life. There was no way she would abort it, but that filly for colt not knowing their father tore her apart. That, and the fact that the father saw her nothing more than a notch in the bedpost made her feel even worse.

Taking in a deep breath, Applejack tried to ready herself for the worse to be alone her in bed, knowing that she was expecting with no father in sight. Bringing all that will to bear, Applejack rolled over in bed to face the empty space that was next to her.

But it was filled.

Next to her was a light blue stallion that was sound asleep, a smile plastered across his lips.

Applejack had to fight down the scream that was building up in her. She was certain he would have been gone, bragging to his friends that he had scored with the farmers daughter, yet here he was. Not only was he here, she could feel the weight of his foreleg laying across her, making sure to keep her close. Then she felt another weight, not so much of a weight actually but a presence. Her eyes scanned around, to find that the stallion's wing was also wrapped around her.

She blinked a few times, trying to figure out what was going on, everything she thought was going to happen was not the case at all. The stallion was still here and looked... happy?

Applejack just shook her head, this has to be one of those stallions who wanted a one night stand, and never see the mare again. He had heard these stories more than once, and felt her heart breaking that she had become one of them. Yes, she had fooled around a time or two before, but with the proper prevention in place. She had no idea if in her comprised state she had even remembered them, or if the stallion had for that mater.

Her mind was just racing with all the horrible outcomes that could happen, a single mother unable to provide for her foul, the gossip of all of Ponyville, and the Element of Harmony that was a disgrace to all others. Not to mention a disgrace to the Apple Family.

Applejack just squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to imagine all of those horrible outcomes that were open to her, to see the futures that were torment her foal.

"Good morning beautiful,"

Applejack's eyes shot open at those words, not sure if they were real or had come from her imagination.

When she did, her green eyes locked with the eyes with a pair of eyes that were very much like her own. They looked more ragged than hers, as though they had not slept properly in a long time, yet they were glowing looking refreshed for the first time in months.

Applejack didn't reply, the stallion across from her just smiling contently, as he leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose. A shutter made its ways through Applejack at the action, having not felt since an action since her last role in the hay with the Clydesdale from Appleoosa.

The stallion let out a yawn before tightening his grip on Applejack, pulling her in closer and resting his head on top of hers. She had no idea how to react, she was certain that any stallion she might have hooked up in the party Pinkie Pie through would have been long gone by now. So she just lay their, waiting for the stallions next action.

He just simply sighed as he rested his head on top of Applejack's, the mare just realizing that her normal style of being tied up in a tail had been pulled out and her mane was everywhere. The stallion didn't seem to mind, as he took in several breaths, and sighed, though he as on a stroll through a field of flowers.

Applejack just starred at the stallion as he closed his eyes and pulled her closer, as though he was trying to pull her into him, to be joined in one way or another. Applejack didn’t know what to feel, on one hoof this stallion stood by her, that didn’t run off at the first opportunity. Then again, this stallion might not have not been smart enough to run off when given the chance. Instead he stayed around, holding her close and acting as though he loved her.

She took in a few deep breaths, trying to figure out how to get out of this situation, to make sure that her foal was safe and that the father of that foal would be willing to stick around. How did things get this far in the first place?

Her memory was sketchy at best. She just remembered seeing Mac with Rainbow Dash, Rarity with Thunderlane and Caramel with Pinkie Pie… oh Celestia, did she just sleep with a stallion to feel wanted? Yes, there were times she was lonely, wanting to feel the touch of a stallion more than anything, but she didn’t think she would ever come to this; not even when she was drunk. Yet here she was, with a stallion she didn’t’ know who had made love to her… no what they did was not making love, it was just a rut, rut that left her with a life to take care of.

She felt so dirty, unclean, a plague upon others. How could she have sunken so low? To be nothing more than a common whore? How she wished she could disappear into nothing and never face what she had done. Just the idea of looking upon the other Apples with a child with no father brought shame to her, unwed and unwanted; while all of those around her found true love.

“I know all we did was make out, but it was amazing,”

Make out?

Applejack’s green eyes open wide again, only to find the stallion next to her again, eyes closed and yawning.

“Luna, the Co-Captain of the Wonderbolts, Soarin, a virgin, isn’t that sad or what?” The stallion continued, unaware of Applejack’s shocked expression. All he did was rub his muzzle against her head and giving out a sigh. “Glad you agreed to be my fillyfrend” Soarin said in a half chuckle, sleeping taking him over again. “Best night… of my… entire… life” with one last yawn, Soarin rested his head on top of Applejack’s head and soon soft snores arose in the empty space.

Applejack could not believe her ears. She had led this stallion to her bed to just… to just make out? That he was a virgin?

She was beyond confused in the idea, that such a stallion could still be a virgin in his position. Applejack just sighed, as she pressed closer against Soarin, letting his warmth wash over her. Virgin or not, it felt amazing to sleep against a stallion that wanted her. Closing her eyes, she started to drift off into the land of dreams, where Luna would guide her furthers.

If this was meant to be or not, all Applejack could think of was that she as glad to have such a stallion to sleep with.

A Bit Too Much

There were just some things that a stallion was used to when it came to dealing with their marefriend. From forgetting dates of special occasions, no mater how obscene, to saying the wrong thing no mater how much you meant it to be a complement.

These were problems that Mac wished he had. He had grown up in a house of mares, and no mater how tough as nails his sister acted she would act like a mare at times when he said or did something wrong that would confuse him to no end. He was never sure how saying that a mare looked 'nice' could be taken as a insult, or not noticing something could be even worse. These were problems he grew up with two younger sisters, and problems he wish he could still be dealing with.

Yet again, this is what he got when he decided to date the mare that was not like any other mare out there.

Rainbow Dash was like no other mare he had ever met, so confident in her ability that it simply radiated off of her, making other wanting to be better just by being in her presence. She could have any stallion, or mare for that, of her choosing. She was beyond beautiful, in his own opinion, and confident enough that even those with great wills would bow before her.

For some strange reason that still alluded Mac to this day, she had chosen him to be her lover, to be the one she would lay in bed with on the coldest of nights, to share those warm summer rays to sleep in. To confided those little doubts in in the darkest hours that haunted her dreams. She had chosen him to be the one she stood next to when facing the hands of times.

Though, their were certain nights that he thought he understood why she had chosen him above all others.

"Mac... have I ever... ever mentioned how soft your... uh... your fur is? Like... it's super soft and awesome!"

Mac just gave out a sigh, adjusting the weight on his shoulders as he carried the drunken Rainbow Dash back to the farm house to sleep off the massive hangover she was going to have the next morning.

That night had been a night of celebration for... well... Mac didn't rightly know. Pinkie Pie had thrown a party for something or other and he had been invited to the party just like every other pony in Ponyville. Normally, Mac would just thank the pink mare for the invite and go on his marry way, but being the coltfriend of Rainbow Dash he was expected to go to keep his filly company and to make sure no stallions tried to hook up with her.

That was Rainbow's reasoning anyway, though she worded it differently saying that it was his duty to make sure if he was truly awesome enough to date her that he would be their to make sure no other stallion scored with the most amazing and cool pony in all of Equestria.

He new Rainbow would never cheat on him, she was the element of loyalty for crying out loud, but he went with her and put on a whole show of warding off other suitors to see that smile. That smile had whipped him good, turning the one independent stallion into the competent love dog of the rainbow maned Pegasus.

It was hard not to be taken up with the Pegasus, no mater how tough she acted there was part of her that was nothing put pure loveliness, that just called out to be held and whispered too all night long.

"Ma... Mac... have I ever... ever mentioned how much I love banging you?"

Then their were the other nights when she needed attention.

"Eeyup" Mac responded knowing that at this time their was nothing more he could do then to tell Rainbow what she wanted to hear.

"Go... good answer hayseed," Rainbow was laying flat across his back, her wings drooping off her sides and dragging against the dirt path below. She had both of her forelegs wrapped around Mac's broad neck, hugging him as tight as a drunk could to keep herself straight, a empty mug in one hoof.

Mac just shook his head, as he adjusted his back just so she wouldn't fall off. He just kept on walking toward the Apple homestead, ready to get under the covers and catch a few Z's himself for the next day of work.

Though Rainbow had other intentions in mind.

Before long, Mac felt light bites on his right ear, as Rainbow dragged herself further up Mac's neck, rubbing her athletic body against him, trying to get him in the mood.

In truth there was nothing better than to feel the athletic build of Rainbow Dash rubbing against him, wanting him, to share in that primal need that all ponies had; that need to enjoy the other companies and to create a life out of it.

"I love jus.... just how strong you are... Mac." Rainbow said, her words spaced out between one another as the amount of cider she consumed flooded her bloodstream, making her so much more... interment that normal.

At times Mac did not mind this much, he loved a good role in the hay like any other stallion but being the one sober in this situation it didn't seem right, and Mac was raised to be a gentlecolt, respecting a mare at all times, no mater how much he would loved to give in.

"Eeyup"

"And... so big..." Rainbow Dash "Growled as she kept rubbing against him, even using her mug to rub him. Mac just shook his head as he psuehd his head back to rub against her.

"Ya know Ah love ya right?" Mac asked, as he felt he weight of the mare on him.

"Duh," Rainbow replied as he rubbed against him more, using her entire body. "What stallion won't love me?"

Mac just smiled, it was true, when she wet off the market he was sure that there was going to be a war on his head. He leaned his head just far back enough for her to rub her cheek against his.

"And that Ah'd do anything fer ya" Mac added, as he felt her mane rubbing against he side of his face, just tracing over his muzzle.

"Oh yeah..." Rainbow groaned as she kept on rubbing herself against him. Mac loved the feeling of her against him, her fur felt like silk against his own, just begging to be explored, to be pleasured in everyway.

"Good," Mac growled, before flicking his head forward tossing the mare onto the bed. Rainbow let out a yelp as she was hurled forward onto the bed. Her stomach groaned in protest, moving about threatening to explode but was fought back by sheer will.

"Because Ah ain't wanting to do that," Mac said, as he got into bed after, pulling the covers over them and wrapping his hooves around her. Rainbow grunted, and struggled against his grasp but there was not much she could do, he as just stronger than him.

Mac just held her in tight, no mater how many times she elbowed him in the ribs. He just let out low grunts as she hit him, till finally she stopped her breathing hard though not angry.

"You're a jerk."

"Ah know."

"A hot sexy jerk."

"Eeyup."

"A hot, sexy, nerdy jerk."

"Eeyup."

"A hot, sexy, nerdy, jerk that got the best mare in all of Equestria."

"Eeyup." Rainbow let out a sigh as she nuzzled herself into Mac's side, letting his warmth cover her. She gave out a low sigh as her breathing began to slow, leaning into his embrace.

"You jerk."

"Eeyup."

"I love you."

"Ah love you, too."

The Showdown

Braeburn Apple was a stallion's stallion. He has started down threats that other stallions would have ran from. He has taken on bandits, desperados, herds of buffalo and once a dragon no mater what those ponies in Appleoosa might say.

But this, this was a challenge the had never faced before, one with the cold intent he had never seen in a creatures eyes before. He had come close to death a few times, but this was like looking into the Reapers eyes itself.

Okay, maybe that was exaggerating the point a bit, but he had never felt so unnerved as he did right now and it didn't make a lick of sense. He should be the dominate one in this stand off, not this, not this little...

Bunny.

Breaburn was standing in Fluttershy's cabin, waiting for the cute Pegasus to get ready for their date, and she had left him alone with Angel, her bunny.

Angel didn't seem to fit the rabbit in front of him. Morning Star, Darkness, or even Lucifer. Angel seemed to innocent for this creature.

The little rabbit just glared at him, never looking away. His tiny arms were crossed and he was tapping his foot impatiently acting like he was Fluttershy's father waiting for an answer as to why he should be able to date his daughter.

Braeburn had met Fluttershy's father, true he was a bit of a pansy in Braeburn's opinion, he was more than okay with him dating his daughter especially when Fluttershy came up to him after their little talk and leaned against him.

It was one of the best moments of Braeburn's life when Fluttershy came up to him and leaned against him, to feel her soft fur rubbing up against him, that unmistakable warmth of the mare he loved coming up beside him to show the world that they were together and nor force would tear them apart.

Yet, he never imagined a force like this. Even Applejack had given him the talk about how if he broke one of her best friend's hearts she would personally make sure he would never be able to enjoy the company of another female for as long as he lived. She had even been standing next to her own Pegasus when she made that threat and he one wing wrapped around her whispering sweet nothings into her ear, and he still felt a chill go through him.

Whatever this bunny was made of, he was far more dangerous than any rattle snake or armed scoundrel he had ever faced before.

"Look, Ah get it ya don't like me too much," Braeburn growled, glaring down the rabbit before him still trying to get over the fact that he was being challenge by a rabbit. "But the truth of the mater, Ah love that yellow filly more than anything in this world" Braeburn said, watching Angel's expression.

The rabbit just wrinkled his nose a bit, before spitting to the wide, never breaking eye contact with Braeburn.

That set the stallion's blood a flames, that was a challenge if he had ever seen one. He was a red blooded stallion that had faced trials in life that others would have run from, yet this fluffy white rabbit thought he knew better than him? Him?

Braeburn got his hooves and marched over to Angel, his eyes set in a glare, looking down upon the rabbit ready to kill.

"Now you look here, Ah've been through hell and back, and Ah'm not about to lose it to some fluffy rat," he growled his voice low and threatening. Angel visibly shook, rage building up in the tiny rodent at Braeburn's words, taking a step forward towards the much larger opponent, continuing his own glare.

Braeburn snorted out in pure frustration, leaning in close to the Angel so he could stare at him right in the eyes. The two males stood like that, not giving the other an inch as the mare that they were fighting for remained unaware, preparing herself for her date with the stallion.

"Ah. Love. Her." Braeburn growled, keeping eye contact with Angel. "And there is nothin' ya can do about that," he finished, snorting out again, a bit of steam raising up form breath.

Angel merely smiled back at the stallion, reaching out with one paw and patting him on the nose a few times as though he was nothing more than a troublesome puppy. That action itself angered Braeburn even more, being treated in such a way. He let out another snort of pure frustration, his might legs ready to smash the bunny into pudding for acting so high and might compared to him.

"Alright Braeburn, I'm ready" The anger building up in Braeburn seemed to leave him the moments he heard the words of the mare he loved.

Turning toward the stairs case of the small cabin Braeburn's heart all but burst out f his chest at the vision he saw. Standing there at the top of his steps was Fluttershy. She was wasn't dressed in anything immaculate, or to suggest something more. She was as she normally was, her pink mane falling over her, but not enough to obscure those wonderful blue eyes, wings held in close to her, and the position of a mare unsure of herself. Braeburn, however, saw beyond that.

He saw the beautiful and wonderful mare underneath, the one he had fallen for the first time he had laid eyes upon her. Strong in her own way, caring for all of those around her, and most of all beautiful beyond all belief. She wore nothing but a simple clip in her hair of a red apple, that was more than she ever needed to wear around him.

Sighing out in pure admiration for her. Breaburn made his way to the steps and held out his hoof for her, never letting his smile falter before her.

"The Sisters themselves will never look as lovely as you do now," Braeburn whispered, in a voice just loud enough for the mare to hear. Fluttershy's face turned a shade of red much deeper than Braeburn's cousin as she made her way down the steps. never taking her blue eyes off of Braeburn's green.

"That's not true," She whispered back, but Braeburn could see past that shy smile of hers, to see that she loved the complement more then anything in the world, resting her hoof in his.

"But it is," Braeburn whispered back, smiling as he stepped forward and leaned against her, to feel that familiar warmth that drove his crazy with pure love for her. "And no mater what, you'll always be the apple of mah eye,"

Her face kept growing hotter in embarrassment at Braeburn's words, but her smile never faltered, leaning her weight against him. The stallion could do nothing more but smile at her, felling that all too familiar warmth wash over him as they made their way to the door.

"Oh! Did you an Angel get along? I can't just leave him feeling left alone, it would just break my heart" Braeburn looked over his shoulder at the white rabbit, who was busy munching on a carrot. The two of them locked eyes for a second, just as Angel dragged a finger across his neck before pointing at Braeburn.

"Oh, Ah think we understand one another just fine" Braeburn said before the pair of them departed for their date

The Beginning

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50th Anniversary

Rainbow Dash couldn't have imagined the day that her rainbow mane, a mane that she had gotten from her father and his father and so on and so forth, would finally have more than a few grey strands in it. In fact, most of the red had turned to grey, but it was not like she lacking in red in her life. She had all the red she wanted. She leaned against the greatest prize she had ever won in her life, Macintosh Apple, as their eldest son gave a toast to his parents renewing their vows.

Zap went on about how he would rather tell his mother about the wrongs he did than his father. For with his mother he knew she would yell, shout, and do things to make him feel bad. After awhile, he grew immune to it all. The worse fate was telling his father, who would listen without interrupting, nod at what he said and just walk out to work, not grounding him or anything. Just knowing he had disappointing his father was the worst. Also, how when his father did punish him, he would not feel his legs for a week.

It was all great fun, but no mater who gave a speech—from Applejack about talking how odd it was to be related to one of her best friends and how opposite she and Mac were, Braeburn bringing up embarrassing stories from the past, or countless other events—nothing would ever be as great as how it felt to lean against her Mac.

No mater how old they got, how slow they had become, or how their minds have started to fail, she knew that there was no other stallion she was happy to spend her life with than Big Mac.

Looking up at his strong features, Rainbow smiled as she leaned against him.

"We raised him right," Mac commented, his voice deep and soothing. "A Pegasus with manners... who would have thought," he chuckled.

"Shut up," Rainbow said, chuckling, because cool mares do not giggle. "The Captain of the Wonderbolts has to be cool in public, " she said, giving Mac a light hit in the ribs.

Mac just laughed and he kissed her forehead. "Whatever you say darling," He said, which earned another chuckle from Rainbow.

"Only took you 50 years to know I'm always right" she laughed,

"Eeyup" Mac commented, as they watched Zap take his seat, next to the daughter of Thunderlane and Rarity. "And here's to another 50 amazing years."