Super Bouncy Flat Thing and the Philosopher's Rock

by CrispySparrow

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Tragedy, Slice of Life
Length: 632

Wisdom is all around, it just waits to be found. Feel the burn come up from the ground. In the silence is heard not a sound.

We found the Philosophers Stone. It is just a rock laying on the road. Ponies keep trying to walk places, and they end up tripping over it. Like its just a rock among a landscape filled with rocks. Like a rock farm! Not really sure what all the fuss is about? It's really stupid if you think about it long enough. Will anyone pick the bloody thing up?

Be forewarned that this is an extremely dumb story. But lots of things are very dumb.
Don't say I didn't warn you.

(Kind of?) A continuation of an equally stupid story called Crunchy Pigeon's Excellent Adventure, by Super Trampoline.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-21 22:28:40 UTC

Magnum opus (Also known as Loitering in the Sun with Daydreams)

The Philosophers Stone.

For so long, so many great minds have pondered, quested, and cried over the Philosopher's Stone.

When I speak of great minds, I do mean GREAT minds. Minds that were the pioneers in the sciences of their times!

And then here comes Super Bouncy Flat Thing. Most certainly not the thing listed above, but lovable nonetheless.

But back to the Philosophers stone.

Long ago, it mystified many, and now so few.

I suppose many things are like that, but I digress.

On the day in question, a Sunday, Super Bouncy Trampoline, myself, and a few others happened to be in a park. Well it wasn't on accident that we happened to be in the park, but the park happened to be the accident.

At least it was a happy accident.

A little known fact is that many accidents are happy, at some point or another.

But I digress.

We came to this place, for the reason that all ponies go to all places: To escape some other place, or the things within it.

The journey for us had began that morning, but for me, long ago with a library.

A library? You might ask.

Well the answer is yes. A library.

For in no other place could be found the Prima materia!

Many, many books can be found in the library.

Duh!

I needed lots of books in order to do find that thing that I said.

Dusty books, fun books, easy reading books, and of course, vibrating books!

All very important things.

And like many, I discovered that once you get yourself locked up in a serious book collection, you find yourself hardpressed to slow your roll.

I will not discuss the horrors I witnessed within the library. I cannot speak of it. Just know that they were terrible, but great things. Enough to squeeze your brain from your ears, only to flip it inside out to use as a condom.

Terrible things.

But I am glad.

It was a happy accident.

I had lured Super Bouncy Flat thing and the others to this park for Sunday Funday. Some ponies prefer Frydays, but Lo they are fools for Sunday is the Mare's day.

They all came willingly, and that is why it is all so delightful!

The thing that I pretend is a plan is working! -Insert maniacal laughter here-

Then it came to the point where all of us were thirsty. The park is (it still exists so I don't see the point in using was) very large, and well hidden within it.

Luckily I knew where it was.

I lead them to the water.

I drank it to show them it was safe.

Well, as safe as anything can be. None of us are safe. We never have been. Safety is merely an illusion.

Super Bouncy Flat Thing was the first to approach the water.

He stands tentatively at the rim of the pool.

He looks at me, and I nod.

"Drink!" I said,

He nodded.

He jabbed his wing into the water, scooped up the liquid in his webbed wing. He brought it up to his muzzle.

He looked at me again.

I nod.

He triumphantly splashes the water onto his furry face.

He cheers with triumph and awe, those odd wings take him up and up and up.

"I did it I drank the water I have seen the light!" he cried!

I looked up, and sighed.

"Godfuckingdammitsuperbouncyflatthing!"

You can have your cake and eat it too, for then the cake resides inside you.

However, as great voices once told me,

"You can lead a horse to water, you can then swim around with that horse and have fun!"

I had fun.