this is my first filly twilight story please be constructive with criticism

here is the description:

Oh, no! Filly Twilight Sparkle is in a bad mood today! Will her mother, Twilight Velvet, survive until Daddy gets home from work, or will she be overcome by the insuperable forces of evil?

"Filly Twilight Sparkle! Kawaii-desu! My kokoro is going doki-doki!" - an anonymous reviewer