Pinkamena Diane Pie's note
I'm done.
I can't do this anymore.
I'm not happy. I can't remember the last time I was.
I act like I'm happy when I'm in public. But when I'm alone, I seize to function.
I can't sleep, when I try I just cry. I try to be quiet, because I don't want anyone to worry.
I don't want to make anypony sad.
That's why I act happy all the time. Because no matter how much I'm hurting, I still want everypony to be happy, and smile.
That's why I haven't done this sooner.
Because I know my friends will be hurt.
But I've decided that I will, just this once, put my own needs before anypony else's.
I'm sorry.
I've been locked up in my room for what I believe has been about a week.
I'm not sure anymore, the window is covered up, so I have no sense of time.
My friends visited me. They asked me what was going on.
I told them that was working on a special party. The biggest party I will ever make.
I hate lying to them.
But they seemed to believe me.
They just thought it was Pinkie being Pinkie.
Rainbow dash didn't buy it though.
She knew that something was wrong.
She always knew me better than anypony else.
She has been worried about me ever since she saw my outbreak when I thought my friends had abandoned me.
I convinced her that that has never happened before, and that it never will again.
I hate lying. Especially to her.
But if I told her the truth.
If I told her that what she saw, was the real me.
And that I act like that whenever I'm alone.
She would worry.
She might even have tried to help.
But that's the thing. I don't want help.
I just want to die.
I'm tired of pretending I'm happy, so that everypony else can feel better about themselves.
I'm tired of forcing myself to go on, just so my friends wont be hurt.
When I die, they will cry, they will grieve, and they will get past it.
They will be hurt.
But everyday I'm alive, I hurt.
It hurts so much.
It's constant. It never stops.
I just want it to end.
Please. Be there for each other. Live you're lives. And forget about me. And smile.
Please. Promise me. Pinkie promise.
Im so sorry.
Goodbye.
Pinkamena Diane Pie