Close to the Edge

Hunter's POV

I'm on the edge of committing! I can't stand it! My fucking life is one big fucking lie! No one cares! My friends only use me for favours! They never repay me! So why live!? They won't miss me! They'll find someone else to boss around! I'm useless! I'm broken! I'm...I'm one big fucking mistake! So why live!? My parents don't know, and they never will! I keep all thoughts to myself! I write in my notebook in class, saying I'm worthless and stuff like that, one day it'll all end. That day, will today! After school, I don't want to see the ones I call friends! So cares about me anyway? I know no one does, so why brother? Why brother being alive? Something needs to be done, and I know just the thing....Committing Suicide, they won't know. I didn't tell them my feelings, they don't have the right to! If they cared then, they wouldn't use me for favours! They would see that their friend does mind! They wouldn't guess that their doesn't mind, they would ask first! But they don't....

If they truly cared for me, then they would've seen I'm broken...

One fucking lie! My so called friend, Rarity, asked me for a favour! I say the only answer they would even hear, yes. Why? Why did I have to say yes? It ends in the same way, her not thanking me...I'm done with life now. It's not worth it! I better get it over and done with, I'm so saying we're done being friends after this! I've fucking had it! Once I got back to Rarity, she turned to me and smiled, fucking great! The same damn thing! It's always, Smile and he'll go away! Perfect! Fucking Perfect! I walked away from all my friends, even my best friend, they didn't notice, they never did. Everything was the fucking same for me, doing favours, being ignored, and being pushed, kicked, and hurt! Every god damn fucking day! Fuck! I hate my life! Fucking perfect day to end it, isn't it!? I'm mad, and that's not good. I have anger issues, but I'm also color blind and sometimes, I go deaf! It's common in my family, my father and mother are lucky, since they don't have it. But I do! My friends don't know....

If I can make it through this school day, I can make it through anything...Right?

I heard the fucking bell ring, great...Fucking math block, always math first. I didn't sit beside my best friend nor my friends, they didn't care, I only saw them gazing at me with confusion. What? Do they need fucking favours?! I'm done, I can't anymore. It's almost time...Almost there...At the end of school, head straight to the roof, look down and jump, nothing more... And nothing will hurt, just like they said, it's fast and it won't hurt right? Right. It won't hurt, some guy said so, right before he jumped off a roof...So why not? Why not try?! It's the only fucking way.....Uh-oh....I'm feeling dizzy, not in math! Not here! Not now! I also have this thing, I don't know what but, I always find myself getting dizzy in random places at random times, and then I pass out....I swear if I pass out, it better let them know what I feel! Damn, my head feels like it'll explode! Fuck! I need a drink or something! I can barely hear too, is that the teacher calling my name? I can't see right, I'm not blind but still.....No....I'm about to....About to.....

Thump

My head, it's hurting badly, huh? Who? I can see some heads, who do they belong to? I still can't hear anything....What happened? My god...Is that? No, it can't be the principals right? Maybe it is....Not even they know about my problems I have...No ones here? I can't see anything and my head hurts! I feel dizzy again, sorry whoever trying to wake me up....I gotta go back to sleep....I'm taking a guess at this point, they must be scared and concerned about me....I want something to hold on to, is that a hand? It feels warm....Please, let it be someone I love and know...Just please...Let it be someone I know at the least! It's all blur at this point in time, I feel weak, like I killed myself or about to, someone please it hurts...I wanted to tell, wanted to talk about it...But no one listened, not a soul....So please, let it be someone who'll listen to me....

"I think he's coming through!" That voice...Is that....The teacher or the Vice-Principal...Please, I didn't want this at all, wait...Six heads...Who are they? Is one of them my best friend? Sunset? Please! Help me! "He's ok! But I think he may have memory lost..."

"But just from a pass out? How?! And why!?" Sunset, my best friend...The one who truly cares....No one else, I can remember that voice any day and anywhere! But she doesn't care right?  She's like everyone else isn't she? "Please! He can't have memory lost! He's my best friend! I can't lose him!"

She does care, but why? Why? I'm a mistake! Nothing else! Fucking why does she care!? I'm worthless! Useless! And so much more! No one cares about me! Everyone could hate me! But, why? Why only her? What gave her the right to care about me? Just why? Why? WHY!? Sunset, if you really did care about me, then why didn't you ask if I was okay? Did you just think I was? Did you just assume I was fine and happy? Not Sad and broken? Please, I need to know! I need to know why? So, please...Tell me....I just want to know about how much you care about me...

"I don't know, but also we don't know if he has memory lost yet..."Something tells me, that you'll know in due time, and it'll hurt me way more after the day's ended. Because, that's when I'll be gone and out of this world, I don't need their thoughts on the matter or choice that I've made, I just don't. "Sunset, calm down. We'll find out soon, if he does, then he does. If he doesn't then, he doesn't. You can't control things like this.."

"NO! You don't get it! I could always tell there was something he was hiding! He never told me, but I wish he did! I care about him!" She does...? What? Someone actually cares for and about me? What!? Why!? Why didn't I tell her!? She could've asked! I would've fucking told her about it! I would've told her fucking everything!