A Double Life

I woke up and the alarm  went off again. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, combed my mane and dashed out of the house. I got to the school in about eight minutes. Just when I thought I was in the clear, he shows up in front of me. He waved to his 'friends' and saw me. I had no choice but to talk to him. Could this get any worse...? We walked around and he was talking about how he just got out of a meeting and he didn't realize how much work there was to it all. I nodded and said,

"That's how much trust they got in us to not be on out backs a lot. We always think of it as work worth doing."

He smiled and agreed.

"That's a mature way to look at it." He said, somewhat dumbfounded.

Goodness, what a kissup...

"Oh, I almost forgot. Do you have any type of music you like?" He asked.

"Well... I realize it might not be something you think I listen to but, I like techno. It makes me feel floaty and at the same time, it sounds nice." I said, truthfully.

"Well if you want, I can lean you some to listen to." He said.

"Really? Thanks." I said, happily.

He must be rich or something to have such music... Whatever, at least it's free music to bring him down. The rest of day was pretty calm for the most part. It was getting close to night so I headed out. Right as I head outside, he appears.

"Ember!" He yelled.

He ran over to me and asked if I was heading home. I nodded and asked,

"What about club? You couldn't be done that early could you?"

"They told me that I needed time to focus on the exams so I don't have to do anything for awhile." He replied.

Great... Just what I needed.

"You mind if I tag alone part of the way?" He asked.

I wanted to say no and tell him to beat it but my 'nice nature' won't let me so I nodded and we continued to walk. We didn't exchange words during the entire time and after some time, we parted ways. I got home and my sisters greeted me but I was to focused on getting a perfect score to reply back. I head up to my room and grabbed all my books to insure I won't be beat. I had the who weekend to do this so I need to use it. Just then, they appeared behind me, tugging at me.

"Come on, let's play together for once!" Fizzy begged.

"All you ever do is look yourself in your room and never pay any attention to us. Just this once, let hang out." Cupid pleaded.

"Absolutely not! I must beat that smug, Grape no matter the cost. He's already bested me one to many times and I will not take it anymore!" I yelled.

They started to cry.

"You used to be a lot of fun before but now, your only focused on being the best..." Fizzy said, crying.

"Besides, the one who's acting like a brat is you." Cupid said, annoyed.

"So what? I don't like losing. I only want to be seen. That's who I am!" I snapped back.

I sighed and went over to them.

"I'm sorry. I just want to study so I don't become second place. I didn't mean to hurt you guys." I said.

They nodded and smiled. They left the room without complaining. I had to study and not lose. I felt like falling asleep but I knew I couldn't. I had studied so much, it's become second nature. Somehow, rather then wanting to be the best and seen by others, my end goal was changed. Instead of being the best or seen, it was changed to beating him and reclam my title. I wanted to see the look on his face when he loses. I will not have it any other way. I continued to study for what felt like forever and fell asleep in between the days.

. . .

I woke up and knew I had to rush out the door. I did my usual routine and bolted out the door. I went into the classroom and sat down, waiting for everypony else to show up. After about an hour, everypony showed up and the teacher gave us the exam. I examined each question and made sure to check every answer before filling it in. After about forty-five minutes, I finished and sat back down. I waited for everypony to finish. I grew more inpatient and I was slowly tapping my hoof as the suspense was killing me. After about three more hours, the bell rang and everypony turned in their paper. We were let out early today since the exam took while. They said it would be posted tomorrow but I couldn't wait that long. Unfortunately, it was out of my hoofs so all I could do was go home and wait. I fell asleep almost immediately after I got home.

. . .

I woke up and once again, did the usual morning routine and rushed out the house. I went though the whole day and after waiting for so long, I rushed over to the result board. It was crowed and when I finally got in front of the line, I looked at the results. I saw that I was number one and Grape was just below me. Everypony cheered for me and was praising me once more. I did it, I finally beat him. I smiled greatly as I finally had something over him. It took, blood, sweat and tears to do it but I'm finally back on top. It had been so long since I've heard this much affection. I almost forgot how it felt that I almost felt like bursting out in laughter. Goodbye miss nopony and hello to everypony paying more attention to me.

"Nice job, Ember." Grape said with a smile.

Ah... so he showed up. He's no longer the better pony. Starting now, he will envelop a helpless feeling knowing I finally bested him. He will burn in the flames of disgrace, and instead of me, you will see the same torment I had to endure. Then after that, I'll speak with sympathy and pity saying, 'I wish you luck next time'. It will make my victory a lot more sweet. Now, let's see the disappointment I've waited for.

"Your really something after all." He said with a smile.

What? Wait a second... What's with that attitude? This isn't anything I had imagined... I thought that all I needed to do was beat him at something in order to win but... it's not. What is this? I won, but I don't feel like I've won. Rather, I feel completely different. If I had only thought about it, I would have noticed it sooner. I was only obsessed about being the best and keeping a display of grace and yet, I've never once seen him brag or care about those things to begin with. Everypony acknowledged him, even without him being around for a long time. He never had a ulterior M.O to win or outshine me. Is that why everypony sees him over me...?

For once in my life, I felt ashamed for being so different compare to what is 'normal'. I've been playing myself like a fool and lying to everypony about who I really am. I'm just a fraud, a hypocrite. I don't remember the last time I was praised for just doing something just because. Without the feeling of being praised or seen. I've always wanted to hear things like, 'Your so good' 'Your really dependable.' rather it was a lie or not. I always pushed myself and never considered how much of a monster I was... Now that I think about it, I'm such a popularity freak. I was only thinking of myself and not what everypony really feels...

If I had just raised the real me without lying or placing restraints on myself, I might have been gotten the love and care without having to lie to everypony. Even so, even if I reveal myself now, I would most likely be seen as a freak and a disappoint everypony. How ironic, I got all the attention and love in the world only to realize it's pointless if I continue a lie. How stupid am I...? Stupid! Stupid! I'm such a fool! I walked away without saying a word to anypony. I went into another classroom to avoid everypony.

I felt depressed... I didn't want anypony to see me this way or disappoint them. Even then, all I had to do was come to school right before the bell rang. Unfortunately, I've been doing this for years and it has become a habit for me. I always had time to relax, study that type of thing. Wait a minute! Maybe go to the music room and play a calm melody. That should cheer me up. As I was about to head out, I bumped into somepony.

"Sorry." I said with a hint of sadness.

I started to blushed. I've never been this careless before. Could this day get any worse? I felt like running away. I'm only a fraud after all... Before I could do so, Grape stopped me.

"Wait a minute." He said.

I was taken back by his quick action. He pulled me in closer and whispered,

"I want to tell you something. Ember, I love you."

I looked back and our eyes connected. I felt my heart drop as he said that. I didn't reply back and walked away. I walked home and was alone. That's the first time somepony has confessed or even really talked to me outside of public eye. I entered the door and had to put on a brave face. I sat on the downstairs couch and relaxed.

"Ah, having somepony confess their feeling to me feels pretty nice." I said, jokily.

"Well, you are popular after all. It was only a matter of time." Cupid said, writing.

"The best part is, it was my enemy who confessed. Winning or losing is irrelevant now that I have him at the palm of my hoof. It's as one pony says, 'The pony in love, the one who is loved, wins." I said, laughing.

"Oh, And what did you say?" She asked.

"Well, I refused his offer, of course. I can't have petty feeling about somepony. I could tell he felt defeated and left." I said, lying.

"Are you sure that's what happened?" Fizzy asked.

They looked at me like I was lying.

"What? You don't believe me?" I asked, annoyed.

"Do you really hate him?" Cupid asked.

"Now that I think about it, I felt like he talked to you because you had a superiority complex towards him." Fizzy added.

"Well, I kind of see it. You do have a superiority complex." If you look at it, you should see that you do." Cupid said, mocking me.

Well, That is true. He has the brains and good personality that everypony likes... It's that type of image that I've always wanted without having to fake it. I tried to get as close to perfection as I can. Oh no, Now that I take biased option out the equation, he's a great pony. I never looked at it like that. What a horrible way to judgment  somepony.

"Well, there's no point to it now. I've already said no after all. I'm going to bed. Night." I told them.

I went upstairs and went into my room. They had a point. I've been so blind and stupid that I never thought of that possibility of just accepting him. Well, maybe I'll make it up to him on Monday.