Long ago, when Equestria was but a budding empire and Canterlot wasn’t the grand city it is today, there lived a pony by the name of Lady Swifthooves. She was captain of the Celestia’s Elites, the greatest knights in the kingdom. Her mane was white and short, as was her braided tail. The red coat she sported was barely visible under the armour she wore head-to-hoof. Her trusty weapon of choice, a flail, rested on her back alongside a saddle and shield. The piercing gaze of her sky blue eyes inspected the mares and colts under her command – veterans of many struggles, they were the most fit and noble ponies Equestria has ever seen.
The sky was perfectly clear as the majestic sun reached the zenith of its journey. Swifthooves flared up her horn, causing it to glow bright blue – she reached out with her vocal chords, stretching and strengthening them. "VALIANT KNIGHTS!!" she bellowed in a voice akin to the Royal Canterlot Voice, “THIS DAY WE SHALL KNOW ONLY GLORY! NO FEAR, NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER! OUR ENEMIES WOULD HAVE THEIR HOOVES OVER OUR LAND! THEIR ATTEMPTS FAIL AS I SPEAK TO YOU NOW, AS THERE IS NO WAY WE SHALL GIVE AN INCH TO THOSE UNDESERVING!”
As she paused, a booming roar filled the air. Her knights, who were all sisters and brothers to her, were full of fight and vigour, as always. Under her lead, they would all protect their precious kingdom, and their most revered Princesses, as they had many times before. This time, a tribe of barbarians wanted to scoop some land for themselves, and politics or treaties were met with sharp axes and snickers. The raiders would pay dearly for every ounce of mangled mane and tears spilt by the pony ambassador of Equestria. “I KNOW YOU SHALL MAKE ME PROUD! LET THE SUN AND MOON GUIDE YOUR STEEL TODAY! TO BATTLE!”
With a deafening “FOR EQUESTRIA!!” the mares and colts began their advance, keeping a steady line formation. In their midst, magic horns lit up and wings began flapping. On the other side, an equally fierce but incomprehensible roar ensued, and the barbarian horde began their charge. The faster ponies broke out of line, magic flared out wildly, spells flew out in all directions, and pegasi darted upwards, attempting to swoop down at the Celestia’s Elites. A messy battle broke out soon enough on both ground and air.
Swifthooves’ flail was a blurring bolt of gray in the midst of the fighting while her magically-held shield deflected blows and smashed faces with great force. The pony's roaring words were inaudible - it was hard to talk with a mouth full of flail - and she was enjoying the heat of battle when suddenly the world around her began to subtly change. It was barely visible at first, but steadily the mare began to notice everypony moving slower, as if they were drenched in honey. The swords and axes clashing together made terribly long and low sounds, and words became so warped that she could not make any sense of them. Her mind raced and her horn flared even harder – she knew a few basic protection spells against some forms of magic, but she wasn’t certain what was being cast against her now.
Finally, the world before her stopped. Her knights and the opposing barbarians were locked in strange poses, arrows and bolts of light stood in space with no support or movement. The mare dropped her shield and flail and focused, trying to wrap every possible protection spell around her specially designed plate armour – the seemingly random cuts and markings lit up with stored magic, causing a tingling sensation. All this did not seem to help, however, as her vision began to break and crack. It was as if she were watching a painting being stretched and torn apart. Small cracks here and there on somepony’s flank or head revealed a solid, white background. The “painting” which was the world around her peeled away faster and faster, and the mare’s cool head finally gave way to her hot blood – whatever sorcery this was, she would not allow it to find her unarmed. Before the world went totally white, she scooped up her flail and shield and…
Everything changed. Swifthooves had to blink several times in order to actually see what was around her. The sun was suddenly behind her back and in a different position than before, and she was on top of some small mound instead of in the midst of a valley. Most importantly, nopony was here. It was quiet, save for the chirping of birds and the sounds of nearby flowing water. Before her stretched a green forest; and beyond that, the mare saw a small… town? In the distance, she could also make out a castle attached to a mountain – similar to Canterlot, but also remarkably different. Swifthooves was sure that, somehow, somepony managed to teleport her out of the fray and into some foreign land – but she would do her best to return and make whatever wizard did this pay dearly.
Sentry spells flew out of the mare’s horn, scanning the surroundings and relaying information straight into her mind. The forest was inhabited by beasts, but they should not be any problem. The river she heard was strange and.. bubbly? It tasted like soap. Also, in the sky, strange pink clouds moved about, their scent reminiscent of candy. The town in the distance wafted with some kind of magic, and she felt it was important to inspect it further. So it was settled – by sundown, she would get to the town and….
Suddenly, it was dark. With no warning, the sun just skipped the rest of its journey, and the moon flung into place, as if embarrassed by its sister’s awkward leave. “What in the name of Celestia is wrong with this place?” said the mare aloud. Shaking her head, she set the question aside. She had a mission, and her honour would not allow her to leave the battle like that. The visor of her helm got shut by magic, and the mare trotted into the woods. As if waiting for that to happen, the sun bumped the moon out of place, and it was day again.
The mare had a good pace, and tripped only a few times when the rapid change in lighting kept her from seeing what she was running into. Several times, she heard some growls from the sides or registered movement from the corner of her eyes; wild beasts were following her. It did not bother her, as they could not pose a threat to one as hardy as she. They would still try, though, and that would become tiresome.
Just as she thought that, a timber wolf jumped in front of her and bore its spiky teeth. The mare did not slow down, lowering her head and charging. The beast lunged at the pony, and a blue flash of light later saw it lying on its back, knocked out cold. The mare slowed down to her trotting pace and put away the shield she had just used. Growls and sneers became quieter, and the mare knew the beasts would back down after such display of force.
After what seemed like days, the mare finally reached the outskirts of the town she saw earlier. Her inner clock told her that no more than a few hours could have passed, and the testimony of the sun and moon’s movement should not be trusted anymore. Slowly, her glover hoof lifted the visor of her helmet, revealing the shocked face of Swifthooves.
The whole town was… well, one would have to call it "in ruin." Everything was strange and not the way it was supposed to be. Ponies were running amok, some of them floating without wings, some of them moving backwards or going in circles upside down. The buildings seemed sturdy, but some of them were as thin as paper, while others sported corners and curves that made the mare’s eyes hurt. She rubbed them vigorously and looked again. It was definitely sorcery, of the worst kind. Even as educated as she was, it was impossible to guess which pony had the power to create such a mess. But the answer was a lot closer than she expected. In fact, it was right behind her, giggling like a filly.
“Oh, isn’t this JUST delightful?” sounded a voice behind the mare.
Reacting on instinct, the knight’s horn flared up and a suddenly lively flail traced a long arc around her as she vigorously spun to face the voice. The weapon hit air, and there was nothing and no one to see.
“Nnnnope,” sounded a voice right behind her.
Again, she swiped with her weapon to no effect.
“Awww, you will have to try much, much harder than that, Ms Can,” snickered a voice to her side.
This time, the pony threw herself sideways and managed to tackle something. She fell with a thump and looked around. What she saw was a dragon – or at least, part dragon. It had body parts of all sorts of different creatures attached to an elongated body. The creature was smiling, with one tooth visibly larger than the others, and had crazy yellow eyes with red pupils watching her.
“Haha! Now that’s the spirit! Unpredictability! Lovely!” shouted the creature, clapping a lion’s paw against the talon of a bird - the mishmash acted as its hands.
The mare bore her teeth and, with an angry grunt, magically scooped her flail up and struck hard at the beast. Her weapon buried into the ground with a solid thump, and the creature appeared straight in front of Swifthooves.
“Quite the temper we have, don’t we now?” said the demonic figure, snapping its fingers. The flail bucked and, as if brought to life, started burrowing itself deep into the ground.
The mare tried to stop it, grabbing it with her mouth, but it eventually drove the knight’s face into the hole, causing her to finally let go and fall onto her back.
The entity responsible for the prank snorted and went into a hysterical laugh, rolling on its back. “You… You’re a… Such a barrel of laughs!” exclaimed the creature between fits of laughter. “It was a SPLENDID idea to bring you all the way here. We are going to have SO much fun together. That is, unless you become boooring or something.”
“Return me to my people at once, demon spawn!” barked Swifthooves, spitting out earth that tasted like… chocolate? “You will not keep me from battle!”
“Battle? What battle?” replied the prankster, putting on an overly surprised look. “The one you were engaged in? Oh, I’m soooo, so sorry, but I can’t. It's over. Outdated. Long gone. You’re a thousand years late.”
"What?” hissed the mare, her eyes narrowing.
“Isn’t it obvious? This is the bright and quite so distant future. All of this is because you weren’t there to help your friends! Such nerve! Leaving the ones depending on you to see how the future looks?” the demon was striking dramatic poses as it spoke, pointing fingers at the mare in disgust. “Really, one would think that somepony as courageous as you would not flee from the battlefield after having her pweety wittle hair messed up.” The dragon snapped his fingers again, and the knight’s mane suddenly erupted into a white catastrophe, flowing out of her vizier in a curled mess.
The pony bucked and struggled, but eventually managed to take her helmet off before suffocating. Her really long white mane dropped to the ground, which apparently had changed into chocolate, making it dirty and sticky. “What do you mean, beast?! I run from nothing and nopony! It is your vile sorcery that brought me here, and it is that sorcery that will... UNDO IT!” Her last words were accented with a vicious blue flash of energy aimed at the monster. Instead of dodging, the spirit held up a glass and contained the light inside. The spell seemed to have turned into juice, as the entity drank the blue liquid.
“Raspberry. Very refreshing.” It sighed. “As I’ve already told you - or did I? - you cannot return. You cannot change events past, that is the rule of time travel. All your friends, relatives, and the ones you served are long gone, and I am the new ruler of Equestria!”
“…Gone?” gasped the knight, tripping over her mane.
“Yes, but I’m quite sure the children of their children of their children, which then had children, are somewhere around. That is, if they ever managed to live happily ever after.”
An ugly snicker haunted the mare as her composure fell apart. This was all her fault? Did she cause the world to become this horrible, twisted place? The mare felt her will and courage drain away somewhere. The armour she was wearing got heavier, and her eyes began to water.
“Now now, there is no need to cry over spilt milk. You can always get more from… a squirrel!” shouted the dragon, pointing towards a squirrel the size of a cow. Its giant body was trying to climb a tree, but the weight caused the whole thing to snap and fall to the ground. The animal wasn’t hurt and tried again to climb another tree. Much to the same effect.
“So it is true. I wasn’t there. I have failed my Princesses.” The mare sloped to the ground and closed her eyes, which were heavy from tears. “I am not worthy of the emblem on this shield…” she continued, casting away the armour piece with two alicorns and the sun and moon between them, "nor am I worthy to wear this holy armour…” the plate clanged and heavy pieces fell apart around the mare. With magic, she picked up her hair (chocolate stuck all over it) and made a fast braid. When she opened her eyes, there was fire in it. “But in no way am I not worthy or capable of overthrowing you! You will regret the day that you have ever meddled with the kingdom of Equestria! I will oppose you with all my might! Thou shalt be overthrown!” As fast as the mare could, she trotted out into the town, taking corners and evading pursuit. But there was none.
The draconequus known as Discord shrugged. “If you say so.” And with a snap of his fingers, he vanished.
