A Thousand Winters

by Silver Quills

To Thaw and Free a Heart of Ice

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Author's Note

One hyphenated compound word: one-shot.

Hope you enjoy, and Happy New Year! :heart:

[2017, here I come!]

DISCLAIMER: Snowdrop is owned by her creator, Silly Filly Studios. All credit goes to them for the making of this character.


To Thaw and Free a Heart of Ice

"Look, Princess Luna! I made a snowmare that looks just like you. Doesn't she?"

The snow-blue-and-white pegasus filly smiled eagerly up at the dark blue Night Alicorn, nestled under the older mare's large, feathered wing as they gazed at the smooth, perfect, blindingly white snowscape before them. Luna's eyes were fixed on the snowpony in front of them, so carefully and time-consumingly sculpted to look like a life-size copy of herself. She looked down at Snowdrop again. The small filly's blind, frosty blue gaze seemed to stare right at her, full of hope and happiness.

"It couldn't be any more beautiful, Snowdrop," Luna finally said. She knew that the sightless pegasus could not see her proud, motherly smile, but she hoped that Snowdrop would be able to feel its warmth. You're not my daughter, little snowflake, but you will always be precious, like a daughter, to me.


Joy. How could anything make her feel joy anymore?

Princess Luna stared bleakly around at the endless field of snow that stretched out as far as the eye could see. The wind ruffled her magical mane as she stood at the top of the gentle hill. The hill where she and Snowdrop had once played together, a thousand years ago. The place that had brought her so much happiness and love.

I didn't even get to say goodbye.

Wintergreen Meadow, nestled in a mountain valley to the north of Canterlot . . . The two of them, best friends forever, had spent nearly all their time here. They would look at Luna's stars and her moon, and swim in the small mirror lake in the middle of the field, and do all those things that they would never be able to do now.

Best friends forever, she thought bitterly. What happened to forever—for her?

Luna trudged heavily down the slope, each hoofstep creating a print that marred the pristine surface of the snow. Her treasured scarf fluttered in the frosty breeze, the white-and-blue striped scarf that Snowdrop had painstakingly made for her all those years ago.

My little snowflake, my wishing star. When will we meet again?

She stopped at the edge of the frozen lake. The thick white ice gleamed and sparkled and shone like a mirror, perfect for ice skating, the sport that Luna had missed so much. She loved gliding across the slippery ice, leaving trails of frost in her wake . . . Luna shoved the wistful thought out of her mind. She couldn't enjoy it now. Her sole companion was gone, and it would stay that way forever. How could she continue on in life without Snowdrop, the star in her darkness? The blind filly who saw every single thing when every other pony saw nothing?

She's not a young filly anymore. I hope she is happy, wherever she is. Because I'm not.

Leaning over, Luna studied her reflection on the ice. A dark blue mare with pegasus wings, a unicorn horn, and an ethereal, star-flecked mane looked back at her. Her big blue eyes were shining, but not with delight, the one feeling that she was unable to feel. Her ears drooped, her head bowed low, and her wings pressed close to her sides. A layer of frost edged her fur, making her look like a mountain mare.

I miss you. Do you miss me, too?

A single, silvery tear fell from Luna's left eye and splattered into several smaller droplets on the unbreakable ice. She froze, staring at the fragments of teardrop, glowing faintly like her moon that shone with a subtle serenity.

Unbreakable, huh? That's not me anymore.

A sudden, strangled cry ripped from her throat, and she lashed out with her right hoof. It hit the surface of the ice hard, shooting deeper and deeper until she could feel frigid lake water beneath her hoof. Glittering shards, like crystal glass, flew into the air and, one by one, fell back down, forced back by the pull of gravity.

This ice may seem strong, but it's fragile beneath that facade.

Forcibly, Luna yanked her hoof out of the new hole she'd just made in the ice. A sliver of pain shot through her leg as a large, sharp piece of ice dug into it and made a long, thin line. She stayed completely still, unblinking, staring as bright red slowly welled up, filling the cut and threatening to spill onto her fur.

Breakable now. I guess that's what I am without her.

She watched as one fat bead of blood splashed through the ice-hole and into the freezing water. It morphed and swelled into a scarlet cloud, shining crimson where it hung among the gentle waves, refusing to be drowned by the current. The thin, smoke-like tendrils of red slowly curled and spun in the water, spreading out steadily. Her eyes were fixated on her own blood, opening and blooming in the lake like delicate roses.

Flowers . . . What beautiful, fragile, bright little things.

It was winter. No lovely blossoms would grow here for the season, not in this meadow, not in the heart of the Moon Princess, not anymore.

All of the fight, the vibrancy, the spirit had drained out of Luna, leaving behind a dark and colorless mare. Her world had become black and white, dusty and hazy, dull and lifeless.

She was just a foggy blotch, a bump on a log, the shadow of a regal young alicorn who had once stood tall with her head raised proudly.

Now, her shoulders and wings bore a thousand burdens that had yet to be lifted. Each step she took was heavy and void of the energy that she did not have the will to muster. She no longer walked with a royal air, didn't attend to any duty with the needed vigor, wouldn't return to her former "princess" self.

She couldn't cry, not even for her first and only friend.

Her eyes were dry, cold, feelingless.

A fog had settled over her, masking the broken heart of the pony underneath.

A pony. She was just a pony, her and Celestia both, and yet . . .

And so it is not fair.

Something tiny, soft, icy, and wet landed on Luna's nose, followed by several more. She looked to the sky, where gray-white clouds floated, still and silent. A new wind ruffled her mane and brought forth flurries of little white flecks that caught in her coat and tickled her wing feathers.

Snow. Here in the valley, the weather was wild and free, uncontrolled by weather pegasi or magic. It was unpredictable, natural, independent.

Just like how Luna used to be, without a care in the world.

A cage had replaced that. A prison with a different kind of magic, one that stabbed when she tried to escape, that burned when she did nothing.

The pain she could endure.

It was the memories and the stifling emptiness that got her, every single time.

She was alone.

Nopony else had understood Luna and her night like Snowdrop had. Nopony else had ever wanted to be her friend. Nopony else was there for her, not even Celestia, because they were afraid of her. Hated her, perhaps.

Luna had seen the looks and heard the whispers of every pony that saw her. She had seen the fear in her own sister's eyes, the constant paranoia that she would become the Nightmare again, and that Equestria would be shrouded in eternal midnight once more.

Leave the past behind. That's what everypony told her—everypony that was brave enough to tell her.

But why should she, when none of them were leaving her past behind?

She was a princess of Equestria. She should be respected, loved, and looked up to like true nobility. Like her elder sister, Princess Celestia, Co-Ruler of Equestria, Diarch of the Sun, Alicorn of the Day.

She was not. While Celestia basked in her own glory, Princess Luna, Co-Ruler of Equestria, Diarch of the Moon, Alicorn of the Night, was shunned. Unloved. Feared by her own subjects.

Snowdrop, Filly of the Snowflake, had seen through it all. The sins, the mistakes, the past—meant nothing to her.

That is what I'll always love about you.

Luna fanned out her wings to their full width, catching snowflakes in each quivering blue feather. Sadness, remorse, and guilt still weighed down her flight and dragged her to the earth like stones; she could never find the heart to fly with true lightness anymore.

Wingtips brushing, she and Snowdrop used to fly together in the star-sprinkled sky that Luna would create just for them.

They would laugh and spin in midair, not caring if anypony saw them playing like young pegasus foals.

They were just happy to be there.

The dreamy illusion fell away. Luna's wings dropped to her sides, trailing in the piercingly cold snow. By now, her coat was finely dusted with a thin layer of snow that reminded her of powdered sugar crystals on the frosted cookies that she and Snowdrop used to make every Hearth's Warming.

She didn't celebrate any holidays anymore.

What was the point, when she had no friends to make merry and laugh with?

Nopony else will ever love the biting chill of long winter nights like you did.

Luna was angry at herself for being so pitiful. She was royalty, and royalty did not lock themselves alone in their rooms for weeks. Royalty did not start crying in the middle of court, or throw screaming fits at nopony, or fly away to the darkest, scariest, most secluded part of their kingdom to sulk.

Royalty did not do any of the things that she had done.

The raw, open wound in her hoof started to sting, little drops and thin trails of blood staining the perfect white shade of the fresh snow. She ignored the pinpricks of pain and continued to walk aimlessly around the lake.

It felt like she was searching for something, but she didn't know what she was looking for.

Don't know what you're looking for . . . doesn't that sound familiar?

She had spent a thousand years trying to navigate the darkness of her moon's prison, wandering and wandering but never finding an exit.

Was she going to spend a thousand more attempting to find a way out of this miserable imprisonment called Life and Loneliness?

Fly.

That tiny, single word in her mind spoke to her, crying out in a voice so loud that it reverberated through every nerve of her body and refused to be ignored. A sudden urge to throw out her wings and sail away on the breeze overtook her.

She would never look back.

She would never return.

She would just soar away.

Was that what she wanted?

Fly.

Luna spread her wings, finally lifting her face to the sky.

And at last, the tears came, streaming from her eyes and freezing just before they touched the snow cover.

But, through the tears, she smiled.

I am not a princess.

I am not a ruler of an entire country.

I am . . .

ME.

I'm free.

Thank you, Snowdrop, for the friendship you gave to me.

I'll remember you, cherish you, miss you, and love you for as long as I live.

For eternity.

She leaped into the air with a powerful thrust of her hind legs.

And Luna was free.

Fly . . .