"AH MY EYE!"
That was the first thing heard after the sound of a window breaking. It came from Pinkie Pie, who was currently lying on the ground, clutching her eye and writhing in pain. Fluttershy, who was sitting with Pinkie walked over to the projectile that just took out her friend. It was a package. Fluttershy opened it up to find a letter inside. She started reading.
To whoever finds this (hopefully it's Pinkie Pie. I'm not good with this magic letter shit so it may have gone to the wrong pony),
Help. Seriously. Help me. This is fucking real. Not a joke. Not a prank. It's real. You understand? This is fucking reeeeaaaal. Get it? Okay, so I forgot to turn in my sacrifice for this year. I tried to lay low for a while. Hoped it would blow over. I hoped they wouldn't notice. I was wrong. Those two bitches noticed alright. They waited until I thought everything was okay then BAM, here they come to fuck me in the ass. Literally, they fucked me in the ass. Hard. Then they sent me away. They banished me. But it wasn't to the moon or someplace obvious, no. They sent me somewhere worse. It's horrible, horrible place. A place nopony should ever see. They called it the Ricefields.
Now, of course, you're probably wondering who this is. Well, I can't tell you. If those bitches find out who sent this, they'll kill me. Then fuck my dead body. I'm not ready to die yet, although I have contemplated suicide on multiple occasions, but that's besides the point. You just need to come and help a nigga out. Please, I'm begging you. I don't have a lot of time left. A war is coming, and I don't want to see it. I've put a map in this package. Just follow it and you'll find me
PS, if it is Pinkie Pie who finds this, don't tell Rainbow Dash about this. Just don't. I'm serious nigga, don't fucking tell her.
PSS, seriously bitch, don't tell Rainbow Dash about this.
"The Ricefields?" Fluttershy asked to herself. "Where the hell is The Ricefileds?"
At this point, Pinkie Pie had gotten up, as the pain had went away fairly quickly. She didn't even have a mark on her face.
"Why doesn't this pony want me to tell Rainbow Dash? Dashie would love this!"
"Maybe this pony doesn't like Rainbow very much."
"Who doesn't like Rainbow?! She's the coolest, most awesomest pony alive!"
"Well, maybe this pony thinks otherwise. But that's not the problem here, Pinkie. We just got a random letter from a pony out in some place called the Ricefields begging for help, and they seem to know you personally."
"Guess we better get going, that pony said there's a war coming."
"Pinkie! I don't want to go to anyplace where there's a war! Why don't you take Twilight along with you or somepony else?"
"There's no time for that Fluttershy! We have to go help this pony!"
"But Pinkie, what if that letter is just a trap?"
"What if it isn't?"
"Bu--"
"NO BUTS! Hehe, butts. We're leaving. Come on Fluttershy, there's no time to lose!"
"Sigh Okay Pinkie... I'm gonna regret this."
And with that, the two left Fluttershy's cottage and went off to find the mystery pony. Little did they know, somepony was following them.
The next day
"Captain's log. Day 1. Time; 1700. Fluttershy and I have started our journey to the Ricefields. It's been a long and difficult trip thus far. We've already had to fight a yeti, and Fluttershy lost a wing. Morale is a little low right now. Hopefully we can rebound tomorrow."
"Pinkie, what are you doing?"
"A captain's log, duh!"
"I know that, Pinkie. But what's with all the made up shit?"
"What do you mean 'made up shit'?"
"A yeti? Me losing a wing?"
"Yeah, so?"
"Pinkie, we're on a train. The only difficult thing we did was buy the tickets."
"Oh stop being such a buzzkill Fluttershy!"
"Sorry Pinkie. I just really don't want to do this."
"Don't worry Fluttershy, it'll be fun!"
"Maybe."
Just as Fluttershy started to get a good feeling about the trip, she was startled out of her seat by a loud bang. She hit the deck, cowering in fear. She looked around, trying to figure out what the sound was. Then she heard another. And another. It was clear now what the sound was.
"They make guns in Ponyville?" asked a surprisingly calm Pinkie.
Fluttershy was too scared to speak. There was blood everywhere. One pony's head was blown clean off. Another had so many holes in them, you'd think the nigga was a Changeling. One of the few ponies that was still alive was repeating the same sentence over and over.
"The dark lord is here. The dark lord is here."
Just as the pony started to repeat the sentence again, a bullet went right through his eye, killing him instantly. Fluttershy was too shocked to scream. She was paralyzed in fear.
"The dark lord? Who's the dark lord?" Pinkie Pie asked herself quietly.
The gunfire lasted for a few more minutes, but it felt like an eternity to Fluttershy. Then it stopped just about as abruptly as it started. Fluttershy and Pinkie lay quietly for a while. Staying as still as possible. Eventually, Pinkie Pie slowly started to rise up. She popped her head over the seat only to duck back down immediately as the gunfire started up again.
"Well shit, we're fucked." Said Pinkie.
"Is there nothing we can do?" Asked Fluttershy, who was finally able to speak again.
"Not that I know of, no."
Pinkie looked around, trying to find some means of escape. She looked up and saw that the windows were mostly shattered from the gunfire. She also noticed that the train was still moving. She got an idea.
"I think I have an idea Fluttershy."
"What is it?"
"When they stop firing, we need to hop out that window as fast as we can."
"ARE YOU CRAZY?! WE'LL DIE!"
"Don't worry Fluttershy, we'll be okay! You just have to trust me!"
Again, Fluttershy just sighed, and conceded to Pinkie's wishes.
They waited for awhile. The gunfire seemed to last a lot longer than before. After nearly ten minutes, it stopped. Fluttershy and Pinkie waited. Then they got up as fast as they could and jumped out the train window. The gunfire started but the two ponies were already out and okay before the bullets could hit them. They hit the ground and rolled. Unfortunately, they were on a hill, so they rolled quite a distance before finally stopping at the bottom. The two got up. They had a few cuts and bruises but no bullet wounds. They watched the train continue down the track. That shooter wasn't going to get them now. They were safe.
Just then Fluttershy started yelling.
"I WANT TO GO HOME PINKIE!"
"Why?!"
"Pinkie, we almost died! That shooter was out to get us. This is too dangerous. Clearly someone doesn't want us to find the pony who wrote that letter!"
"That's all the more reason to find them!"
"But Pinkie, what if one of us gets hurt, or killed?! Is it really worth it?"
"A pony needs our help, Fluttershy, we can't just ignore them!"
"I know that, Pinkie, but is it really worth our lives?"
"Fluttershy, we'll be fine. We've been through crazier shit."
"That's true."
And so the two continued their journey, but the worst was yet to come.