It Was Supposed to be a Quiet Night
Monsters are real.
I know what you're thinking: "Big fucking surprise, Vinyl. We already knew that." Anypony who lives in Equestria knows that. Especially if they live in Ponyville. Timber wolves made of actual timber, ursas, hydras, manticores... Fuck. All sorts of monsters live nearby. We even had the princess's sister show up in full raging demon she-bitch mode wanting to create "eternal night" before being blasted with a rainbow, and an insane god of chaos who fucking visits on a regular basis. That doesn't even include shit like the changelings and Tirek.
Except I'm not talking about those kind of monsters.
I'm not talking about "monsters" that are pretty much just bat-shit insane ponies either: rapists, murderers, and those real sickos that think fucking a rotting corpse is fun. Luckily, we don't really have any of those in Ponyville.
...least I don't think so...
Anyway, I'm talking about monsters. I'm talking about scary stories around the campfire monsters. I'm talking about being afraid of the dark monsters. The things you thought were under your bed or in your closet when you were a foal. Make a full grown stallion scream like a filly and shit themselves monsters. The Headless Horse, vamponies, that fucker that keeps coming back from the dead at Camp Rainbow Falls.
I've known the truth for a while. Hell, since I work at night, no surprise there. As long as they left me alone, I never fucked with them though. I'm not an Element of Harmony. I'm not a guard. I'm just a fucking DJ. I don't even have any martial arts training or decent combat spells. Yeah, I've been in a few fights, but there's a big difference between a drunk asshole who won't take no for an answer and a creature that could literally rip your leg off and beat you to fucking death with it.
So yeah. I knew about them, but thank Celestia never had to deal with one.
Until one fucking showed up at my damn house.
It was one of those rare weekends when I was actually off. As much as I love my job, even I could use a break. A little time away from the floor, the fans, the beautiful flashing lights, the music that touches your soul. It just feels like it's pounding in your veins, pumping through your body with each beat of your heart. The kind of deep pulsing that just gets to your core and makes you ready to fuck like a horny teenage mare in heat until you black out from exhaustion, covered in sweat and fluids with a huge fucking grin on your face.
...What was my point?
Right. My weekend off. I was going to pretty much relax around the house an enjoy. Work on some of my tracks, read a little, and lots and lots of sleeping.
It was Saturday afternoon as I woke up from that last one. I was hungry enough to eat an entire tree, and had to piss so badly I could put out a forest fire. After dragging my groggy ass out of bed, I made my way to the bathroom. As I made my way down the hall, I could hear my housemate Octavia singing happily to herself.
As I sat on the toilet doing my best impression of a waterfall, I noticed something. The bathroom was all hot and damp. Once I finally finished using the toilet, I checked the tub. Still wet.
Octavia had showered. In the afternoon. There were only two reasons I knew that she would do that, and she didn't say anything about having a gig tonight. That only left one possibility.
Somepony had a date.
Deciding that teasing my friend was more important than eating, I ran to her room. There was Tav, standing in front of a mirror and singing to herself as she brushed her mane.
I gave a knock on her door, and when she looked at me in the mirror, I smirked and raised an eyebrow.
A huff escaped her, and she probably rolled her eyes.
"Yes, Vinyl. I have a date tonight."
So... if you don't know this about me... I'm a mute. Can't talk. Not a peep. Been that way for as long as I can remember. And I'm fine most of the time. It does mean I can't do any sort of patter between songs, and there are times when I don't really have a way to express myself. Normally I get by fine with gestures, writing, or just staring at a pony until they feel awkward and fuck off. But there are two, maybe three ponies in Ponyville that seem to just understand me somehow. Octavia was one of the two definites.
Leaning against the door, I raised my eyebrow higher.
"If you must know, I am going to see a play with Big Macintosh Apple."
Macintosh? Octavia had a date with Macintosh? Octavia! and Big Mac!
Don't get me wrong. I've met the big stallion. He's a nice enough guy. Doesn't talk much. He's also the pony that maybe understands me. A bit too stoic and serious looking for my liking. It's kind of weird imagining him with Tav because... well...
I guess it's classism or whatever the hell it's called on my part. It's just that Octavia is this upper class type of mare. She doesn't act all snobby and superior or anything. But her family is some well off type and she did go to a bunch of fancy schools. She even has that bit of an accent that ponies get when they can brag about their wealth, breeding, and education. She also has her hair all groomed and straight, wears her bow tie, and plays classical music on the cello. As cool as she can be and as much fun as we have together, everything about her says "sophisticated lady."
Big Mac on the other hoof is a farmer. He spends his time working on his family's apple farm. The guy spends his day literally bucking trees for a living. He wears his yoke like it's fucking jewelry or something. Pretty sure he's as down to earth as any earth pony could possibly get.
The sophisticated and classy mare and the rough and tumble farm stallion.
That sounded like a bad romance novel.
Or a cheesy porno.
Bow-chicka-wow-wow.
"Don't give me that," Octavia huffed as she continued to get ready. "Macintosh is simply a wonderful stallion. He's polite and well mannered" -- her gaze flicked to me again -- "which is more than I can say for some."
I stick my tongue out at her. That'll show her how well mannered I am.
"He's also an excellent listener, and very gentle for a stallion of his size and build."
Between my earlier though about porn and Octavia saying "gentle," "stallion," and "size," you can guess where my mind went.
Sitting down, I leaned back, exposing my underside to Octavia. I then placed a hoof between my legs and started to lift it up along my stomach with the frog pointed down.
"Don't be crude!" she snapped, turning to face me as her cheeks turned a bright pink. With a huff, she turned away again. "Not all ponies are... ready for sex as quickly as you are."
Awwwww. Octavia is so cute when she tries to be non-judgemental about how much I like having sex.
Giving one eyebrow a break, I raise the other one as I slowly lower my hoof.
"Stop asking me about the size of his penis!" she snapped, ears pulled back. "Why are you even asking me?"
Smiling, I walk into the room and give her a hug. I can feel Octavia let out a sigh and lean into it.
"I love you too," she says, patting me gently. "Even if you seem to irritate me at times." She shakes her head, then looks at me and smirks. "You're like the little sister I never wanted."
I roll my eyes and give her a playful swat before letting her get back to preparing for her date.
Maybe I should download some porn music for later.
When the stallion came to pick Octavia up, he looked pretty good. He was washed up, combed his hair, and was actually wearing a neck tie instead of his yoke. Still smelled like dirt and apples with a hint of sweat though. Not a complaint, it was actually kind of nice. Made me want to lick him. Which would totally have been fun just to see how he reacted. Maybe I would have actually done it if Octavia didn't show up then.
As I saw the two of them off, something about the neighborhood seemed... weird. Don't really know how else to describe it, you know? Kind of like looking at one of those "spot the difference" games and trying to find that last one that's really well hidden. You know it's there, but you just can't seem to find it. So you go nuts trying to find the damn thing until finally saying "fuck it" and give up.
That's basically what I did here. Couldn't figure it out and couldn't do anything even if I did. So I decided to go back inside and get my grub on.
Despite what Octavia says, I'm a pretty good cook. Not world class chef or get my own cooking show good, but nopony's ever died from it. And the one that got sick totally wasn't my fault. Remember, I'm a musician. And while I'm a big hit now, there was a time when I was struggling. Throw in having to buy DJ equipment and that techno is a new genre, and there is little in the way of money. So yeah, being able to fend for myself was kind of necessary thing.
Now that I was alone, my stomach demanded my full attention. So I decided to use all of my culinary skills to create my ultimate meal.
Microwave pizza! Super Pepper Deluxe. My favorite. Once it was done and no longer "oh Celestia, my tongue is an ember of pain" hot, I turned down the lights, put on some music, and started to enjoy my pizza. Crunchy crust, tangy sauce, gooey cheese, sweet bells, and spicy jalapenos, all in one bite. It was so delicious. I really know how to spoil me. Who knows, I might even let me go all the way tonight.
I was just about to finish off the last slice when the power went out. One second there was music and lights, and the next, POOF! Nothing! Just darkness and silence.
Too... Much... Silence...
Chill out, Vinyl. Just chill out. You're cool. You're fine. It's just the power is out. No big deal. You totally know how to handle this.
Lighting up my horn and tossing the last of the pizza in my mouth, I got up and made my way to the breaker box. None of them looked like they had tripped, but I went ahead and flipped the main breaker just to be sure.
The power didn't come back on.
Okay. No big deal. Nothing to worry about. It's fine. Fine.
Just to be sure, I turned off the main breaker again, and started flipping off all the other little breakers. I then turned it all back on.
Still dark.
It's fine. It's still fine. Just means that the power is out in the neighborhood or something. Probably be back on in a few minutes. An hour at most. Nothing to worry about.
I'll go outside and check just to be sure.
Opening the front door, I stick my head out and look around. Everything is still quiet and calm. I don't see any other lights, and no other ponies are looking outside. Although the sun is still kinda out, so I guess that makes sense.
As I was pulling my head back in, the wind shifted and I got a whiff of something. It smelled like a buzzard had died eating a skunk and the other buzzards had shit on it before leaving it in the sun to rot. My eyes and nose burned, and I could fucking taste it. I retched and gagged, and would have been happy to puke if it meant getting THAT taste out of my mouth. Stomach acid and pizza puke had to taste fucking better than that shit.
I didn't throw up after all, so I made my way to the kitchen and chugged down an entire can of soda. The sugar and bubbles really seemed to do the job of scrubbing that horrible taste from my mouth and throat.
Okay. So the power was still out. Which means the sound system was still out. But my personal music player and headphones should still work. I can go grab that from my room and having something to listen to while I wait and figure out what to do until the power's back on.
Plus it means I don't have to put up with the fucking freaking quiet anymore.
I made my way toward my room when a noise made me jump. My body tensed, ready for any attack, and my ears perked up, twitching to listen for any other noises.
Heh. It was just the stair step giving a little squeak under my hoof. Have to remember to fix that later.
Making my way to my room without hitting any more squeaky floor boards, I find my music player and headphones. And thank Celestia I remembered to put it on the charger. The thing would last hours, though hopefully I wouldn't need it. I turn it on and crank it up. As soon as the first notes fill my ears, I feel soooooo much better... not that I was worried or anything...
Moving to the groove of the music, I made my way back downstairs. Now that I didn't have to put up with that stupid silence, I could figure out what to do until the power came back on. My gear needed electricity, so I couldn't work on any re-mixes or new tracks. I did have a light spell, so I could still read. That suddenly didn't really sound fun to me now for some reason. Hate when that happens. Sucks when something you want to do suddenly sounds boring because you don't really have a choice about it.
A loud bang caused me to jump in surprise. Somehow it must have made the stairs surprised too or something, because it suddenly wasn't where it was supposed to be. That was totally how I ended up hitting the floor face first. Luckily I didn't land on my horn and I have a thick head. At least, that's what I've been told a lot. Yeah it hurt and gave me a headache, but I survived.
My headphones were not so lucky.
Oh fate. Why must you be so cruel? So wicked? Why must you and irony conspire against me to take that which I love when I need most? Why must the good die young? Except not young enough because it's past warranty. What have I done to deserve such suffering? How can I make amends? Why must I be forsaken?
I was startled out of my grief by another loud bang, this one followed by a cracking sound.
So...you know how in horror plays and stories where there's some sort of psycho killer or monster that is killing off ponies one by one, and it reaches a point where the characters may not know exactly what's going on, but should definitely know something's wrong? And it's at that point that one of the characters goes off alone into a dark, creepy place to check something out? Be honest. When you see that, you think how stupid that character is, and how you would never, ever, ever do something like that if you were in that situation. You have, haven't you? It's okay. I do it too.
But let me tell ya: when you're actually in that situation, it's a lot harder to do. I mean you don't see anything actually dangerous, so there's no feeling of a threat, but there is something going on that can get you really curious. If nothing happens, no big deal. If something attacks you, you either escape and kick yourself for being stupid, or you die, in which case you're so busy your last seconds in blind terror, you don't care how you got there. Plus, we're told as foals that things aren't as scary as we imagine, right? Once we find out what something is, we aren't afraid of it anymore. That shadowy figure is a piece of clothing, that tapping is a branch, so on and so on.
That was why I headed toward the noise instead of the other way. Yeah, I was a little scared about the noise, but I wanted to know what the fuck was causing it more than anything. I mean, how bad could it be?
I know, I know. Worst thing to say or think in these situations.
Anyway, the banging kept happening, and some times there was cracking as well. I followed it into the living room and discovered it was coming from the front door. With each loud bang, the thing rattled in its frame.
I didn't get close enough to see how bad the cracks were. I may be doing something stupid, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid. I was not going anywhere near that door. The window however was another story. We have two in front of the house, one on each side of the door. Not too close to it, but enough that I can look out and see who or what is at it.
The thing outside that was ramming the door was about the size and shape of a pony. Except it looked like it was made out of leather with large chunks of it torn out. I could see brown and dark red, sometimes a yellow that--
Shit! Shit! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck-shit! Shit-Fuck! FUCK!
It looked at me!
At least that's what I think happened. The thing stopped ramming the door and turned toward the window. I think I saw some white stuff where its eyes should be, but I didn't wait around. Soon as I saw it turning in my direction, I dropped down below the window.
The thing wasn't slamming against the door anymore. Maybe it had left. Or maybe it was up to something else.
Moving away from the wall and making sure there was plenty of space between me and the door, I made my way across the living room and to the other window. Slowly I lift my head to peek out, trying to see if I can find the thing without being seen again. When I don't see it right away, I lift my head higher, trying to get a better look.
I didn't see anything in front of the door. Mayb--
The sound of glass shattering filled the room as the thing smashed through the window I had been at earlier. Shards of broken glass landed on the floor and scattered across it. The thing landed there, somehow still standing. It must have torn its stomach open or something, because its guts fell out all over the floor.
Then the stench hit me. It was the same horrible deathly smell I noticed earlier. It made me dizzy and my eyes water as I gagged and retched. It took everything I had not to throw up and keep sight of the rotting pony monster now in my living room.
Through the tears in my eyes, I saw the thing turn toward me. It let out a scream that sounded like a mare in mortal agony.
Ignoring the wetness running down my thighs and puddle forming beneath my hooves, I turn and ran. I ran blindly, in both senses of the word. The tears in my eyes were making impossible to see, and I wasn't thinking in the slightest of where the hell I was going. I was just trying to get away from that monster as fast as I could. If I had been thinking, I would've run for the back door. Just get out and get as far as I could, not stopping until I reached Manehattan or something.
Slamming into something knocked me off my hooves and to my senses. Well... not right away. I had to stare at the newest dent in the fridge (don't ask about the older ones) a bit before realizing that I was in the kitchen. Bad news, the kitchen does not have the back door. Hell, it doesn't even have a window big enough for me to squeeze through. Good news, it had lots of stuff I could use as weapons! Knives! Pots and pans! That weird hammer thing that we have but none of us ever use!
The thing appeared in the doorway and let out another of its screams. I turned toward it, and my horn lit up as I grabbed the closest thing to me to throw at it.
Like I said before, I'm not a fighter. I don't know any real good spells to hit something with, and can't really throw up a shield to save my life. But what I do have is raw strength. As a DJ I have a lot of equipment that I have to carry, and some of it is pretty fucking heavy. You try picking up a full DJ set-up with dual turntables and a pair of six foot tall speakers.
The door ripped from the refrigerator and slammed into the creature with a loud bang and a cracking noise. Bottles of sauces shattered on the floor. Octavia's yogurts went which way. The door fell to the floor as the creature stumbled back. It still stood up, but its jaw was dangling off of one side, and its tongue was hanging out of the spot like it was wearing some sort of hideous flesh tie.
It let out a hideous gurgling noise, spewing out thick blobs of black and brown stuff all over the floor. It started to lurch at me.
KNIVES! We have knives! A whole drawer full of the suckers. And then some!
Yanking it open, I started pulling as many of the sharp fuckers as I could hold in my aura out. I then started throwing them at the creepy fucker as hard as I could. Aimed for its fucking face too. Most of the blades bounced off harmlessly with a few getting stuck in the shoulders. Some cut the flesh, but they didn't so much bleed as ooze out more of that thick, gloppy, black stuff.
One of them managed to get the fucker in the eye! It made this gross, wet, squishy, popping sound, and this thick, green pus poured from the socket, mixing with the black stuff and dripping onto the floor. The smell of sickness now mixed with the smell of death and shit.
The pizza did not taste anywhere near as good coming back up.
Once that was finished and I could focus again, I moved away from... that stuff... and started to grab the knives I had dropped. The impacts, stabs, or even the loss of an eye didn't seem to slow the damn thing down. Even when I managed to get the fucker's second eye and completely blind it, the thing kept coming.
It lunged forward, and drove its upper jaw into my foreleg.
I have never wanted to scream so badly in my life. Pretty sure if it had a bottom jaw it would have fucking broken my leg.
Shit! What if it's contagious? Like in those stories. That bite had to break the fucking skin. What if I was going to turn into one of the undead monsters like this fucker?
No. Don't think about that right now. Focus. Deal with the rotting monster thing first, then worry about infection. Knives weren't working. What el--
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUCK!
I don't know what that asshole did, but I know it broke my fucking leg. It hurt like a motherfucker. Everything was going blurry. And there was... blackness... and... white... light...
NO! Don't pass out Vinyl! Do. Not! Pass. Out! That fucker is still right there. You pass out and you will die. Deal with the fucker first.
I start pounding him in the face with my good hoof while trying to think of something to do. I couldn't run before. Sure as hell couldn't run now that I have a bum leg. Knives didn't do shit to it. We live in town, so we don't have a machete or fucking axe or anything. Even if we did, wouldn't be in the kitchen. So decapitation was out. Maybe I can bash its brains in... if it has brains.
The chopping block! It's a big slab of heavy wood made to take a beating. Hopefully it can give one too.
Picking up the massive chunk of wood, I manage to yank my injured leg away before bringing down on the fucker's skull. There is a loud, hard thud as the wood hits the head and the head bounces off the floor. Gritting my teeth, I lifted it up higher. When I slam it down on the thing again, I hear a small crack and see teeth popping out. I lift it again, this time raising it all the way up to the ceiling before slamming it down against the monster's head with all my magical strength. This time, I hear a satisfying crack and see the top of the head cave in.
Take that fucker!
I slam the wood onto his head again. And again. And again! And again!
Pretty sure that if I could talk, I would be screaming like a mad-mare. Fuck, probably was a mad-mare!
I don't know how long I keep at it. It's only when my head hurts and the board actually starts to feel heavy that I slow down and stop. I drop the cutting board and look at the remains of the thing. All that remained of the head was a pulpy mess that looked like a smashed jack-o-lantern on Nightmare Night. Shards of bone stuck out, and black ichor oozed from what had once been its neck.
It was over. The fucker was stopped. And I felt... really tired. Maybe I should... just... close my eyes... and rest... for a... few... sec...onds...
*****
Hey! Good news! I survived!
I woke up in the hospital with Octavia by my side. I must have been out for a while, because there were already some balloons and get well cards. There was even a basket of my favorite cupcakes from Pinkie Pie.
I love that mare.
She even stopped by. So did the mayor, that Twilight Sparkle (sorry, Princess Twilight Sparkle), and the town guard, all wanting to know about what happened. Like I said before, "all sorts of monsters live nearby." But a zombie like pony thing is something new. Sparkle was especially interested. She seemed to think it was some sort of necromancer unicorn, and that I was intentionally targeted for some reason. Pretty sure I have ponies that don't like me, but most of them are the boring snobby types that hate anything that's not classical. Don't think I've done anything a pony would want me dead for, though. Even if I did, don't think they would go the necromancer route.
Although that does sound kind of cool in the abstract.
I also got visited by doctors and nurse, which means I got poked, prodded, probed, had things stuck in my eyes, ears, nose and mouth, and also had my heart beat and blood pressure checked. Finally, once they were all satisfied, they told me what they had concluded.
First, I was out for more than a day. A combination of shock, blood loss, and magical exhaustion. After that, I was like... ninety-five percent?... okay. Maybe eighty? I don't know the percentages when it comes to possibly losing a leg.
Yeah. So the good news was that the were able to set my leg and close the tears created when the bone tore through my skin. They also cleaned out the bites marks from where the monster slammed its teeth into my leg. Bad news, even with the cleaning, they were still scared of infection. So no cast for now, and if it does go how they fear, they might have to amputate.
I hope to keep my leg, but if I lose it, I'm going to make my own totally awesome prosthetic. It's going to be all shiny and white, with LEDs in red, blue, and green, and a built in speaker.
...When I get out of the hospital, I'm not going to live in that house any more. I'll go back to get my stuff, but after what happened, there is no way that I can stay there. Especially at night or by myself. Maybe once it's all fixed up, Tav can sell the place and we can find a new house to split. If not, I'm sure she can find a new roommate, and I know I can get a place to crash, even if not as big.
Monsters are real, and I have now faced one and lived.
I don't know if my life will ever be the same...
