Wake up, eat, read MLP:FiM fan-fiction, sleep, repeat. That is what my days were like until I went to a comic-con and ran into the Merchant. Sure I knew who and what he was; Discord the Draconequus. I knew how he sold people the shit they wanted and teleported them to Equestria either during the time of the Main Six or a thousand years before the main episode. Hell, maybe even further back than that. People who get the gear they like either become the hero or villain of Equestria. Of course, he showed me something I liked, something that appealed to me the most; a Behemoth figurine along with a mechanical Behemoth costume that I could easily slide into. All for free.

I took the deal like any foolish naive protagonist would and was teleported to Equestria not in stage one or two, but straight fucking Stage Three! THREE! That means not only do I have every goddamn ability of the Behemoth itself, but I'm the size of a fucking Ponderosa Pine tree! That's a big fucking tree! And after a bad first impression with a Pony, I was hunted down and turned to stone by Celestia herself. And wanna know something even better? I got a fucking BABY version of me to look after, and the sad part is that it simply won't grow up! It's smaller than a Stage One!

Ugh, nothing I can do to change it now.

[size=0.75em]Story inspired by 'Hollow Shades' made by Dilos1. It's a great story, check it out.[/size]