Chapter 1: Feathers, Chitin, and Fur
*Luke's POV*
The first indication that anything was wrong was my alarm going off…about twice as loud as usual. In my immediate post sleep haze I stumbled out of bed only to promptly face plant on the floor. Then I began to notice something feeling off, parts of my body that should have been in contact with the floor weren’t, though in the post sleep fluff that clouded my mind I couldn’t really care so I was content to lay there with my face still squashed against the floor…at least until the alarm began to aggravate me enough into moving.
That was when I noticed the second thing that was wrong. Opening my eyes to look for the phone I noticed that. 1. I seemed to no longer have the need for glasses, if anything my vision was sharper. 2. Reaching out in front of me was an arm covered in feathers at the end of which was a rather nasty set of talons. I stared…
And stared…
That alarm was really starting to get on my nerves…
I shook my head to regain my focus before looking for my phone. It’s glowing screen shining like a beacon. Good thing I prefer low down beds else it would have been a long drop when I stumbled out of bed, that also meant my phone was usually on the floor. I sighed in relief after finally struggling to shut off the alarm. The silence that resulted was almost defining. Like, unnatural levels of silence. I just laid there belly-down on the hard floor. Studying my arm, or what I thought to be my arm, my mind going through some serious mental gymnastics to try and comprehend just what the fuck had happened to me. This arm was. Not. My. Own!
Honestly. I don’t know how long I laid there just staring at my arm but eventually I plucked up the courage to get my lazy arse into gear and try to find out what the hell was going on, a quick check of my phone deduced it to be sometime around 1pm. Meaning my lazy ass had slept in again whilst the alarm went blaring away all morning. Not to mention me freaking out over…whatever the hell I’d become. Standing up in a bipedal fashion failed, eventually I managed to get myself to stand up in a sort of stable fashion on all fours. Then I could get a good look at myself…
HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK WHY AM I A FUCKING GRIFFFIN!?
Instead of…me, I was covered in light tan-coloured fur, except my neck and chest, which was covered in brown feathers. I must have been about 4 foot tall if that but holy fuck those wings!!! I must have had a wingspan close to 7 foot, almost too big to fit in my room.
“Ok” I said aloud “that’s a little cool…okay maybe a lot cool”
Looking closer at my new body I seemed to have shed all of my body fat, not a single ounce remained. I’ll admit, I wasn’t the healthiest person before, not obese but…yeah, it was definitely noticeable. All I could see now under fur and feathers was rippling muscles.
“nutritionists hate him” I thought “find out how to shed pounds of fat overnight with this one weird trick!” I couldn’t help but chuckle at that before steeling my resolve. The night before I’d had friends from the states staying in a hotel towards the center of town. We had planned to go on a fortnight-long whistle stop tour of Great Britain with me as their guide, but this happened. I’d need to find them. I tried giving one of my friends a ring but to there was no answer. I didn’t bother to ring the others as I got the feeling I’d most likely get the same response. I needed to get my arse over there and find out what was happening
But first I needed to actually get used to walking. Can’t be that hard, can it?
Yeah…no! long story short, I fell down a flight of stairs…twice, sleeping in a converted loft will do that. Oddly enough I didn’t feel that much pain. Don’t get me wrong if fucking hurt. But a lot less than I expected, akin to falling over…which I technically did. But you get the idea. By the time I reached the ground floor I was laid belly down with my chin resting on the laminate flooring. Sat there right in front of me was my pet cat, Tigger. Who looked like he couldn’t give any less of a shit about my current predicament, simply staring down at me with that bored, condescending look of his.
“Unsympathetic cunt” I muttered as he sauntered off into the kitchen. I growled as I rose to my…paws? Talons? Honestly I wasn’t sure of the collective term that applied to my situation. Before heading out I fed the cat before kicking him out. I quickly learned that, although I couldn’t really stand upright unsupported, if I could hold onto something I could reach about 5ft or so, perfect for opening doors. Whilst I was upstairs I had tried putting on clothes, but between tearing them and it simply not feeling right over fur and feathers I chose to forgo them almost completely, instead picking my favourite battle jacket (that’s the term Metal heads or bikers use to describe those jackets with patches), though I as a little put down at having to cut holes for my wings in them, whatever, I could always get it sowed back up if this whole thing reversed. And after peeking out the window and deeming it to be glorious sunshine, a rarity in this country, I also chose to don a black Stetson that I had lying around that I’d gotten years ago when I went to Texas that one time, I was surprised to find it still fit and decided “what the hell, may as well use it”, well you know what they say, when in Rome…
OK, so this isn’t Rome, it’s Scunthorpe, North Lincolnshire, perceived by near enough the entire country to be a gigantic shithole because of that one TV show a while back, but you get the idea.
Steeling my resolve I made my way outside and locked up the house, before letting out a sigh, thinking “what the hell am I doing”, and making my way towards the center of town.
*Ian's POV*
I lay half awake on my back in the hotel bed, having just finished transitioning to the waking side of consciousness. What a dream...
I barely had two seconds to revel in the warmth under the sheets, and try to reclaim slumber, before my phone abruptly went off. The ringtone I'd selected long ago was chosen to be as loud and attention grabbing as possible, so it woke me up pretty darn quick. As my phone continued to blast the Game of Thrones theme (floppy drive edition,) at full volume, I flipped onto my stomach and reached out to silence it.
Unfortunately, my body wasn't responding properly, and seemed to bend at all the wrong angle. So, I only managed to knock it off the bedside table, which in turn caused it to yank itself off the short charging cable. It tumbled through the air as it fell, and landed right smackdab on the power button, hanging up on whoever was trying to contact me.
With my eyes squinted in the very early morning light, I slumped over the side of the bed in an attempt to pick up the errant device, and promptly fell to the floor myself.
"Ah, ow!" I exclaimed, and swore a little. It was too early for this. With many muttered curses about people calling at ungodly hours, I turned to look up at the clock... and had to keep on tilting my face towards the ceiling, because I was closer to the ground than I'd anticipated. I hardly registered the time, however, because as I opened my eyes wider, I realized something a bit more important. Everything was somewhat blurry and distorted, and slightly greenish too, though that last bit could be attributed to the curtains. I reached an arm up to rub at my eyes...
Only to have something long and hard bop me under the chin. I shook my head, blinking, as I finally became awake enough to register my surroundings. While still greenish, everything also seemed taller than it should've, somehow, and there was something large and black in the central part of my peripheral vision. "Shit!"
I scooched backwards on my butt, and tried to swat it away with one arm, only to discover something else black and shiny entering my vision in a strange parody of my intended movement. It bopped the black thing in front of my nose, and I felt pain in my nose, cheek, and jaw. I swore again, more out of panic than anything else. I then continued to do so as I saw a new problem.
The larger black object, which had mimicked my arm's intended motions, turned out to be attached to where my shoulder had been. I looked down at myself, as I was leaned against the side of the bed, and started screaming profanities like no tomorrow. Where there should have been the scrawny physique of a 5foot10, 130 pound Caucasian male underneath my dad's old Hard Rock Tshirt and a pair of shorts, there was... well, there wasn't, let's just put it at that.
In its place was something vaguely equine in construction, but instead of fur everywhere, there was what mostly looked to be some sort of rigid, shiny black shell, except around my midriff. That was encased in a translucent, lime green, and apparently highly flexible material, as it was expanding and contracting rapidly in time with my accelerated breathing. The shirt was still on, though very loosely, while everything south of it seemed to have fallen off, because my entire body had literally shrunken overnight, on top of everything else.
Which meant that the black thing in front of my face... was actually a part of it now. As if to prove the point, I finally realized that it had been opening and closing in time to my prolonged cursing.
"Somebody help!" I finally shouted, as my fear began shifting to fury. "If this is supposed to be some 'Welcome to England' prank or something, it's not fucking funny! And when I find out who's responsible, imma give 'em a good piece of my mind! There will be a reckoning, ya hear me? A RECKONING!"
I was rewarded for my little outburst with the sound of something heavy falling over down the hall with a loud thud, followed by a voice that was similarly distressed to my own. After that, there was the sound of something breaking down a door, then a rapidfire "thud thud THUD THUD" of something heavy coming down the hall at speed, closely tailed by the sound of said heavy object crashing to the floor with a room shaking BAM as it tried to stop too quickly.
"In here!" I cried. A scant half second later...
No amount of onomatopoeia could honestly describe the explosive sound that was produced as something sent the door (and half the adjacent wall,) flying across the entire room. The whole mess went tumbling end over end, above myself and the bed, knocking out the window on the far wall and it's distinctly purple curtains. They landed out in the street, causing quite a few car alarms to go off.
That wasn't important, though, as I turned to see the figure in the hall, and all my physical worries became irrelevant in that moment. There, in the wreckage of the wall, was an honest to god Minotaur, whose face bore a dark expression that I couldn't read. And he was most definitely looking at me.
"What's going oooon?!~~" I whimpered, as I ducked back down on my side of the bed, then tried to wiggle my diminished body understand it. I got stuck, and it felt like something was trying to tear itself off my shoulder blade
*Thane's POV*
A loud mechanical sound woke me from my sleep. Grunting, I closed my eyes as I sat up and stretched, sticking my arms out as far as I could. A loud crash made me pause in my stretches. Opening my eyes, I saw that my arm had imbedded itself into the wall of my hotel room. Blinking, I slowly drew it back towards me, noting that my previously pale and skinny arm was now absolutely ripped, bulging with muscles from every inch. On top of that it was covered in a coarse grey fur that seemed like it belonged on some kind of cow.
Looking down at my uncovered torso, my slightly out of shape body had been replaced with bulging muscles and coarse grey fur, same as my arm. Ripping off the blanket that covered my lower body, I was greeted to the sight of grey digitigrade legs, like on cows and wolves. Thankfully, my shorts had remained intact, so I was covered where it counted.
Looking around, I saw a floor to ceiling mirror on the wall near the door to the bathroom. Swinging my new legs over the side of the bed I tentatively put weight on them. My legs, being now far, far smaller, caused me to have some doubt on whether they could hold my new massive body. Thankfully, upon standing, my legs showed no sign of breaking. I attempted to walk over to the wall, only to stumble. My arms shot out to catch myself and ended up going straight through the floor.
Blinking, I slowly brought my arms back through the floor and crawled to the mirror, Gingerly, I stood up and put my hands on the wall to brace myself. As I stood up, I dumbly noticed that my head was almost touching the ceiling. But that was pushed aside when I saw the two massive horns reaching upwards. These horns did actually touch the ceiling, which caused me to lean down. They were big, white and curved in a ninety degree angle.
Shaking my head, I looked around the rest of the room. The light coming through the windows was somewhat dim, and there was a large hole in the wall where I had accidentally punched it, were even more light was streaming through. My phone was still on the bedside table, plugged in as always.
I started to move towards it when I heard a voice call out for help. The voice was familiar, but it was so faint I couldn't tell who it was. Something snapped inside of me. I turned right around and charged towards the door. Unfortunately, since I still wasn’t used to moving with digitigrade legs, I stumbled before I reached the door, crashing through it instead of opening it normally. “I’m coming!” I roared louder than I meant to. I managed to get to my feet and ran forwards again. For some reason, the hotel had doors in the hallways for no real reason other than to slow people down.
Snorting, I lowered my head and ran even faster. My… Hooves, I suppose, thudded heavily against the carpeted floor as I rammed into the door and blasted it from his hinges. On the other side of the door was a cart that maintenance would use to clean up spills.Eyes widening, I tried to stop, only to end up slamming into it. It slammed into the floor with a massive bang, shaking the walls and what felt like the entire floor.
I heard the same voice from before scream, “In here!” To my surprise I recognized the voice. It was Ian. We had been talking over Skype with another friend of ours for a few months before we had planned this. I had just met him for the first time yesterday with our other friend Luke.
I tried opening the door, but of course it was locked. Losing patience, I reeled back a fist and slammed it into the door, managing to take it and part of the wall with it. The resulting debris flew through the room and out of the open window and onto the street outside, activating some car alarms as it did so. When the dust cleared, I saw a small, equine looking creature with black skin, insectoid wings and a horn try to hide behind the bed.
I heard the creature whimper, “What's going on?” In my friend, Ian's, voice. Did he change into that thing?
*Third Person POV*
Ian flinched as the bed was lifted off the ground, and curled up into a ball as best he could.
"Oh God, please!" He begged the monstrosity as it set the bed to one side. "Don't eat me! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Please! I don't know what--" His babbled words came to a halt as the Minotaur spoke.
“Dude. Calm down.”
The smaller figure remained silent, save for a soft whimper, and curled up tighter. To put a not-too-fine point on the subject, he had been thoroughly cowed.
Seeing that his friend was terrified of his rather explosive entrance, Thane took a step back and spoke again; “Ian, it’s me, Thane. I know I look different, but you need to trust me. It’s me, and I’m not gonna hurt you.” As Thane waited, fearing for his friend’s stability, the smaller figure cracked open one blank, emerald green eye.
“Oh, y-yeah?” Ian asked, unsure. “Prove it. What were we talking about last night, with that clip I showed you…?”
Thane paused, thinking for a moment, “Wasn’t it that one part of Moonquest?” He said, “When Ianis ranted on Simon for forgetting some buckets?”
Ian's eyes were both open now, but he was still slightly squinted with suspicion. He had loosened up, and his tail(!) twitched. “Maybe. Go on…”
Thane thought for another moment. “Grabbing oil by hand and sticking it… somewhere inappropriate…”
“Heh, 'And we’ll go to SPACE!’ It is you!” Ian smiled, trying to stand, but only managed to fall over. “Thane, I'm scared. Augh, Lewis brought up a good point, though… why are we so shit?”
Thane shook his head as he walked over and tried to help Ian up. “We've been dealt a shit hand, that's why.“
“Mine are worse,” Ian noted, his legs all splayed and wobbly, like those of a newborn deer. “At least you still have hands… and you're something recognizable.”
Thane snorted, “Yeah, the horns are a real defining feature.” He looked around, “Weren't you bunking with someone?”
“Yeah, that Phoenix guy, can’t remember his real name… dunno where he is, either.”
Thane looked back towards the door. “I would think that with all the noise I just made, someone would be coming to check out what happened… “
“I'm more concerned about the folks on the street!” replied Ian, unconsciously flicking an ear as he slowly stumbled to the remains of the window. “I hope everything's ok down there…” He squinted into the midday sun.
Thane walked over to the window with him to see the street outside absolutely deserted. The cars down on the road below were going off, but they couldn’t see anyone attending to them. “Where… Is everyone?” Thane said.
“Dunno… why is the sun so high?” Ian muttered, and mentally shook himself. “Oh, damnit… I hate jetlag; I'm still on Pacific time. Of course, it’d be noon-ish here, judging by the sun…” He turned back to the clock, which read 1:06pm.
Spying the clock himself, Thane shook his head, “Doesn’t matter right now, we need to find our friends and see if they’ve been changed like us.” Thane looked back to Ian, “Was anyone but Me, you, and Phoenix staying here?”
“Yeah, Link should've been here, too… but I think he offered to make a run for supplies. Obviously he's still out, because that car we rented isn't parked down there…”
Thane nodded, “We can look for him and Luke once we get out of here.” He said, “I need to grab my stuff from my room; laptop, phone and the like.”
Ian, still a little distracted and standing by the window, made a swinging motion with one foreleg, and fell over again. “Dammit!” He shouted. “I was trying to snap… I just remembered that David was staying here too, or at least somewhere nearby. and Matthew, too.”
Thane helped Ian get up again. “We can look for them too. Again, once we get out of here.” He said, “Anything you would like me to carry?”
“Um, maybe. Hey, where are my shorts?” Ian suddenly asked, self-consciously. Thane nodded to the bed he'd moved earlier.
“Maybe they fell on the ground when I moved the bed?” Thane suggested.
“Ah, right. Thanks,” said Ian, as he stumbled over to the bed. “Damn, I'm getting tired of these legs… I think I got it from here, my minotaurian friend. You grab your stuff, and I'll do my best to gather mine.”
Thane nodded and walked out of Ian’s room, cringing slightly at the sight of the destruction he'd wrought. “Jesus…” Thane muttered to himself as he lumbered over to his room.
Now that he was alone, Ian turned to the bed he’d slept in. True to Thane’s words, the blue gym shorts he’d been wearing previously had, indeed, fallen off the bed. Ian stared at them, then at where his hands had once been, wondering how he'd manage to get them on again. A quick look at his backside revealed yet another problem he had to consider: he now had a tail, and it didn't seem very well kept, either.
Scowling, and setting aside the rising panic, he decided to forego that particular set of shorts, and turned his attention to his luggage. He had to use his teeth to open the zipper, and began using his elongated nose to root through his clothing. Finding the pair of cargo shorts he was looking for, he spent the next minute or so writhing on the ground as he got them on. Most of the time had been spent getting the fly buttoned above the base of his tail, which was a learning experience and a half. He'd found a useful feature of the holes riddling his forelegs in the process, in addition to discovering just how flexible his spine now was.
That done, he stood upright, slightly panting from the exertion and feeling quite overheated. As he did so, his shirt slid forward on his torso and allowed a cool breeze from the former window to play across the glittering shell on his back. It was the bright green of new growth on a conifer in early Spring, and shone in the direct sun like a polished and well-cut gem.
“Mmm… that feels good…” he muttered, oblivious to the twin, gossamer-thin wings that had begun to stand erect on his shoulders and push the shirt even further forward. Slowly, slowly, they began waving up and down, which allowed the tepid air to reduce the temperature of the blood that raced through his veins to a more manageable level.
Rolling his shoulders and enjoying the cool-down, Ian adopted the “downward-facing dog” pose as he stretched and yawned. It was so peaceful, with no traffic to break the silence, no people shouting down below. So tranquil… if only he could just go back to sleep for a little bit. Surely a short power-nap wouldn't hurt?
“Uh… Ian? What are those?” Asked Thane from the doorway, startling Ian from his reverie and causing him to shoot a foot and a half into the air.
(A few minutes earlier…)
Thane walked through the ruined remains of the hallway that led to his room. “I guess I’d better learn to watch my own strength.” He muttered as he entered his room. His backpack was leaning against the wall, thankfully uninjured. Gingerly opening the zipper, Thane was pleased to see that everything in it was unharmed.
His laptop, charger, and mouse were all inside. Nodding, Thane moved over the the dresser and opened it up. He grabbed all of the shorts inside and stuffed them into his backpack. And finally, Thane grabbed his phone and unplugged the charger from the wall. He put the phone in his pocket and the charger into his backpack. Finally, he grabbed his necklace from his bedside table. It wasn’t anything more than a simple leather cord with a yin-yang charm, but Thane wore it everywhere. After a failed attempt to get it over his neck, he tied it around one of his horns to the best of his ability, where it hung loosely.
Slinging the bag over his shoulder, he walked out the door and back to Ian’s room, where he saw Ian in a very restful pose. More surprising were the things coming out of Ian’s back. They were slightly see-through, and moving slowly. “Uh… Ian? What are those?” Thane asked from where he stood in the doorway.
Ian jumped in surprise. “Wh-what? What are you…?” He looked around, and spied the insectoid wings protruding from his back. “Holy--!”
Thane moved closer and looked them over, “Wings?” He said quizzically, “Almost like a Dragonfly’s.” He mused, poking one of them gently.
Ian stiffened, and shied away from the contact. “Gah, woah! Shit, those are sensitive!”
The surprised Minotaurian jerked his hand backwards, “Jeeze, sorry!” He exclaimed, not expecting that to happen.
“No, no, it's just…” Ian shook his head, as if trying to clear away a bothersome gnat, “I wasn't, either, to be honest. Makes sense, though.” He looked about the room, chewing his lip. He'd wasted time, again, and gotten nothing done.
Thane nodded, “I’ll make sure to stay aware of that from now on. Do you have anything that you need me to carry?” he asked.
“Um…” Ian looked at his few belongings in the room. “I guess you could grab the luggage… I might be able to get the backpack, but… how with these wings?”
“Could you wear it inverted?” Thane asked, looking over both Ian and his backpack. “Like on your stomach instead of your back?”
“That… that might work. Lemme try it.” With that, he spent a few moments getting the backpack, containing his laptop and other possessions, into place, making sure the zipper was on his right.
Looking it over, Thane nodded. “It looks like it should work for now.” He concluded, “If we stay like this for much longer we’ll need to find a better thing to do.” Ian nodded in agreement.
“Besides, it kinda feels weird. Augh, and this shirt…” Ian carefully shrugged it over his head and forelegs, then stuffed it into his luggage. “There. Better. Now, let's go-- Wait, my phone!”
Thane had started to grab the luggage when he heard Ian yell out. “Where is it?”
“Sorry, I left it charging on the bedside table with my other crap. Almost forgot it…” Ian stumbled back to said piece of furniture, went to get the device, and then remembered it was on the ground. “...Shit. Well, I guess I can just… kind of reach down… and…”
Carefully, using his teeth, he managed to grab it by the silicone case and deposit it inside his backpack. It was soon followed by his charger and twin USB cables, whilst the small Bluetooth he’d been charging went into a pocket on his shorts with his 4-in-1 stylus/pen. His tungsten ring was carefully strung onto the chain of his favorite necklace, which in turn was painstakingly threaded through some of the holes in his left foreleg, to be secured alongside his watch.
Phoenix's phone, on the other hand, had been left on, playing muted YouTube videos, and it was at full charge…
The massive Minotaurian frowned as he saw Ian staring at his friend’s phone, “You want to stare at the phone for the rest of the day or you want to keep moving?” He asked.
“Oh, sorry.” Ian gave Thane an intense look. “I had an idea. Phoenix is missing, right? Well… what if I left him a message on here, in case he returns? Let him know we're looking for him, and the others?” He carefully pulled out his stylus-pen with his mouth, intent on doing just that.
“That sounds like a good idea.” Thane agreed, “Any idea of what you planned to say?”
“Um… 'Hey, if you see this, we (Thane and Ian,) are out looking for you, so let us know if/when you return. We’ll come find you,’ or something like that,” Ian said around the pen. “Wait, no, that won't work.” he then pulled out his own phone once more, clumsily navigated to Skype, and input the message into their group chat. “There. Now I can turn Phoenix's phone off to preserve his battery…”
“And he’ll see it if or when he comes back. Brilliant.” Thane said, before turning to the door and grabbing the luggage.
“It's more than brilliant. I sent it in the group chat on Skype. Everyone will see it.”
Thane nodded, “Anything else we need done?”
“Nah. Let's blow this popsicle stand.”
A smirk appeared upon Thane’s face, “If only we had an RPG and two sets of sunglasses.” He quipped, as they walked out of the room.
“Well, I've got a pair. Don't think they'd fit either of us now, though.” Ian hummed in thought for a second. “Say, weren't you wearing glasses before?”
Confused, Thane rubbed one of his eyes, almost expecting to feel his glasses on his face. “I can see fine without them now… And I’m not wearing my contacts…” He shrugged, “I dunno.”
“Shame… they set off a certain intensity in your personality before. Made you look like a barely contained badass. Now, though… you're just freakin’ intimidating, even without them.” Ian paused, stumbling both physically and verbally. “I-I mean, no offense…! Just… damn, you're huge.”
It was at this point that the strange duo reached the elevator, and Thane pushed the down button. “None taken. It’s kinda an improvement over what it was before.” He said, waiting for the door to open.
“Eh, I guess I can agree with that.” Ian gave his best approximation of a shrug, then continued. “I can't say the same about myself, because I don’t even have a clue about what I am. What about you? Any ideas?”
Thane shrugged, “I’m drawing a blank, little buddy.” He said, before putting a hand gently on Ian's back, “We'll figure it out, don't worry.”
Ian shifted the way hid backpack hung as he unconsciously leaned into the gesture, reveling in the warmth he felt from it. “Mmm, yeah, but don't call me small.” He paused. “Hey, dude, you’re reeeeally warm, you know that? Like, you're positively radiating heat… feels nice.”
A frown appeared on Thane’s face as he felt his forehead, “I feel normal, are you sure I feel that warm?”
Ian touched a foreleg to his chin in thought, momentarily scowling at said appendage before he replied. “I know what I felt. Maybe I'm just--”
*Ding!*
The door to the elevator slid open with a gentle thunk, revealing itself to be empty, with wood paneling on all sides.
“Maybe I'm just cold,” the smaller figure continued as they both not-so-gracefully stepped inside, “or perhaps I'm cold-blooded now? Who knows, with this stupid body. There’re too many questions… and I swear, if somebody says 'The knowing will come’ if I ask any of them, I'm gonna go effin’ ballistic on their ass…”
The Minotaur smiled thoughtfully as the elevator continued downwards. “We seem to be taking this more calmly than I would expect.”
“Trust me, I’m freaking out already.” Ian replied shaking his head. “I’m just doing it on the inside now, thanks to your help, and I'm waiting until it calms down enough to toss onto the ever-growing, oxygen-deprived pile of volatile shit that is the back burner of my soul. And if any of that ever comes to the forefront… man, that’ll be a day to remember.” he yawned, internally wincing as he felt his mouth stretching wider and farther than it ever had before. ’This must be how a cat feels when it yawns…’
Thane stared at his friends new and, frankly strange mouth. “Thats… mildly disconcerting…” He said.
Ian finished yawning. “Haaah… sorry, what’d you say? Didn't hear you there…”
Thane yanked his gaze from the sight, “Nevermind.” He said as the elevator finally slowed and opened, revealing the completely abandoned lobby of the hotel. “This is… Ominious…”
Ian nodded as he carefully looked around. “Yeah, as Harrison Ford would say… 'I’ve got a bad feeling about this…’ ”
His companion slowly walked into the room, “Don’t forget Luke, Leia, C3PO, Qui-Gon, Obi Wan and Anakin…” Thane said as he looked around, “This is all levels of wrong.”
“Yeah… hey look, a mirror…” Ian walked unsteadily over to it, trying to be as quick as he could, only to freeze when he saw his reflection.
Thane plodded alongside him and, having already seen both his and Ian’s appearance, took it far better than Ian did. “You don’t look too bad.” He said to his seemingly frozen friend, “It could be worse.”
What Ian saw in the mirror… it wasn't easy to describe unless you were to see it for yourself. At best, it was like some kind of fusion between a crudely designed parody of a unicorn and an unknown species of insect. At worst, it was as if someone had tried to take a xenomorph, give it a horse-like form, stuck a curved horn on its forehead, and then make it “cute,” perhaps in the hopes of getting little kids to be interested in the Alien saga.
In place of where a normal equine would have a mane, there was some sort of frill, reminiscent of that on the back of a Spinosaurus. Even now, as Ian felt his hackles rising, the fin was straightening itself. The reflection's ratty, cone-like ears were pinned back, and his mouth was starting to stretch itself into a snarl. Those ragged wings were buzzing above the glimmering emerald shell, and the tail was swishing back and forth. As Ian looked, he felt a strange itch in the sides of his eyes, then movement as the thin green films that had been distorting his vision slid aside, and everything looked much clearer, not to mention brighter.
The eyes that were revealed underneath were themselves a shocking shade of green, but with slit pupils like those of a cat or snake. Ian found himself opening his mouth in a hiss, which revealed a narrow forked tongue, and twin fangs on the top of his jaw, just between his canines. These had been folded back along the roof of his mouth, up until now.
Ian blinked in shock, and took a step back. His reflection's demeanor immediately changed as well, mimicking him perfectly. Now, it looked scared, and seemed to shrink as tears welled up in those freakish eyes. Ian dropped his head, screwing his own eyes shut as he did, and stood there, stiff-legged.
Seeing this, Thane knelt down and put an arm around Ian, careful to keep the sharp, curved spike on his friend’s head out of his own eye. “We’re gonna get through this, alright? We’ll figure out a way to make things back the way they were, and everything’s going to be ok.” Inside, Thane was just calming down from his own internal freak out, but he forced himself to be calm for his friend.
Nonetheless, it was too much for the small figure to bear. He gave no indication, save for a half-audible growl, before he suddenly reared up, dropping the backpack around his hind legs, then charged forward. A few steps later, and he was smashing his forelegs into the surface of the mirror itself, once, twice, thrice, all the while letting out a cry of rage and sorrow the likes of which he'd never known before. Ian could hear himself shouting various curses and obscenities as he went berserk, but he just didn't give a damn.
The second Ian reached the mirror, Thane was running over to him, wrapping his arms around him in a tight but gentle hug, making sure not to gore himself on Ian’s jagged horn. “Let it out, just let it out…” Thane said softly.
Ian thrashed and writhed in Thane's unrelenting grip, cursing his lack of conventional limbs. With a half planned motion, he dropped his head, then snapped it back, hard. He felt it hit something soft, then found himself on the ground again. Ian scurried off out of sight, tears streaming down his face as he sought shelter and solitude.
The Minotaur let out a muffled curse as he held his nose gingerly. It wasn’t broken, but it did hurt. “Bloody hell…” He muttered to himself as he stood up, looking around for Ian. “Ian, where’d you go?” He called to the seemingly empty room. He needn’t have bothered though. The sound of soft, quiet sobbing was eerily loud in his ears.
Thane sighed, walking over as softly as he could. Once he got close to the source of the noise, which happened to be the receptionist’s desk, he sat down on the opposite side of it. For a moment he was silent. “I’m not gonna say I fully understand what you’re going through,” Thane began, “But I’ll wait here for however long you need before you feel you’re ready to come out.” He paused for a moment, “Sound good?” He heard a muffled moan that sounded vaguely affirmative. Thane nodded, “I’ll be here.”
He saw Ian turn to him, his face a mask of untold negative emotions, but what struck him most about what he saw was the eyes. That solid green color was back, and though the rest of his friends seemed to be in the shadow of the desk, those eyes looked as if they were still illuminated by the overhead lights.
“You sure you wanna wait there?” Choked the small figure. “After all, I don't think I'll ever be coming out of here…”
Thane frowned. “You ain’t spending your whole life under a desk.” He told Ian, “I promised you that things will get better, and that won’t bloody happen under a shitty receptionist’s desk.”
Ian was silent for a moment, though the occasional tear still dripped from his emerald-clad eyes. “How do you know…” he muttered darkly to the carpet. “How do you know that it's going to get better? After all, you’re a Minotaur, I'm some sort of monster, and everyone else is just FUCKING GONE, as far as we know! HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY GET BETTER? CAUSE IT SURE AS GODDAMN HELL AIN'T GETTIN’ WORSE!”
His friend snorted, something that sounded far more intense than it had before. “You said it yourself, it ain’t getting any worse. You really want to stay under this desk, or do you want to go out and try to find someone and make it through this fucking shit?” Thane asked. “And honestly, I’m not gonna take desk for an answer.”
Ian was silent for a spell, considering his options. Eventually, he surged to a standing position under the desk, and gave a mighty kick with his back legs. This actually managed to partially uproot the desk from where it had been bolted to the floor, and it jumped half a foot towards the doors.
“Let’s just goddamn go outside, then. Maybe we’ll find who- or whatever’s responsible for this, and I can give 'em a piece of my mind.” He switched into a crude imitation of a Scottish accent. “Crivens, they’re due such a kickin’. “I’ll gi’ 'em a face fulla’ dandruff they’ll nae forget…”
His musclebound friend cracked his knuckles, “I have a few words for them myself…” Thane said, his voice taking a slightly darker tone.
“Yeah,” Ian said, momentarily sitting down to smack the ends of his forelegs together. He then tipped his head to the left and right, eliciting several very loud pops. “Los gehts, mutterficker.” Thane gave him a confused look. “It's German for ‘let’s go, motherfucker’.”
Thane let out an “ah” of understanding. “Good to know.” He said, before going to grab Ian’s backpack and suitcase. “You might need this.” He said, holding the backpack out. They got it situated on Ian's back again, and headed towards both the doors and their future.
As they did, Ian gently hummed an old familiar tune to himself, mentally chuckling at the irony. “♪They're going on a new adventure, and they don't know what's in store… they're coming from the closet, and they're heading out the door!♪” he muttered at last, as they stepped out into the sunlight. Of course, Ian tripped over the strip of metal that marked the delineation between inside and out, and subsequently had a nice hearty brunch of concrete. All in all, a good start to a day that had already been going so well.
Author's Note
Hey, I'm Nova_Blast and I'll be writing as Luke, hopefully you'll come to enjoy this just as much as my previous stories.
Hey, I'm Thunder Quill, and I write as Thane. I hope you enjoy this story, and check out the other stories we've written.
Hey, guys! Glad to see you've made it this far! The name's Ian, and I'm some sort of... wierd... snake-bug-horse thing. I don't have a clue what that's all about, and it certainly doesn't ring a bell with anything I remember from mythology...
(What are these "Changelings" thou speaketh of?)
Hope you enjoyed this first recollective entry in the chronicle of our journey. Seriously, check us all out. And if you're curious about that refer between Thane and I... It's sorta NSFW, so we can't post a link.
I can't stop you from looking up "Moonquest Christmas Special" on YouTube, though. ;)
As for the ringtone... It's basically this:
Chapter 2: The Missing Link
*Link’s POV*
I woke up on the floor of the supermarket’s fruit section. Out of years of habit, I stayed on the floor, unmoving, and listened to my surroundings. Absolute silence. “that’s impossible. there were at least a hundred people here just a few moments ago…” Slowly, I opened my eye and glanced around. No one was around me. “very odd…”
Carefully, I lifted my head off the cool flooring, and looked around myself. Carts scattered the aisles, some half filled with groceries. Then, I noticed something black, just in front of my face. “What’s-” I started. “Is that… That’s my nose. Why’s my nose black?” I asked aloud. Though I knew no one would answer, I asked a different question. “Is anybody else still alive?!” I practically yelled it. Then to myself, I added, “just me then…”
As with cautiously waking up, I developed a habit of checking my body for injury by moving each individual joint slowly. I started with my feet, and immediately I had problems. Not that I was hurt, or anything. It was that I couldn’t feel my toes. With this problem already apparent, I looked down at my legs and saw. “Aren’t my legs supposed to be longer than my pants?” “Alright, Link. You’ve seen enough of that one ninja anime to realize you’re in some kind of illusion. Awareness will set me free,” I thought. “Nice try, whoever did this, but it’s just an illusion. I know who I am, and there’s no amount of genjutsu trickery you could stockpile to make me think I’m not me.”
Again, no answer. Once more, I looked at myself. Still no protruding feet. “Nope. That didn’t work at all.” I noticed my belt was a little looser, so I wormed my way out from them. A bright red mass of hair followed me out, and I recognized it as a tail. “There’s just too much to take in right now...” I said, seeing my new black legs. At first glance, I saw there were not the usual knee joints. “Just what am I? ‘Least my shirt kinda fits.” My attention was drawn to the unusual tightness of the shirt I wore. In my best efforts to stand, I still fell a few times before I got my feet under me. As well as my hands.
But, I guess most quadrupeds would call them all “legs”. My arms were also black, though a bit more flexible than my legs, despite the restricting shirt. “Alright,” I began, “what is happening? Or, already happened. What’s going on?” With my new form, I decided it’s best to learn how to properly regain mobility. It was a bit of a stretch, but I knew a horse when I saw one. And if my limbs were any indicator, I’d just been turned into a dark horse. I had seen how horses sat, and tried to imitate it. With some success, I was able to at least stay in an upright position.
With much effort, I tried to remove my now unfitting shirt from my… front half. It wasn’t top half anymore. Unfortunately, the garment got hung up on something, but I didn’t know what. Horses didn’t usually come with their own saddles. Especially people turned into horses, so my confusion was justified. After a bit of wrangling, I managed to toss my shirt aside. I looked at myself again. “I’ve still got my necklace. Good. Fits alright too. Oh, that reminds me…”
Before I could even do anything, two strange appendages unfolded themselves from my back. “Woah, what the hell?!” I asked. In reaction, I looked behind me and saw two wings, extended. “Horses don’t have wings. Ever.” I thought for a moment, before rephrasing, “Okay, well mythological horses can." Putting that train aside for the time being, I returned to my original track.
For many years, I had worn a jingle bell tied to my front right belt loop. Every single day, with no exception. When I reached for it, I saw I didn’t have any fingers. “Crap. Uhm…” I pulled the pants close to me and tried to hold them up. “Hooves. Can’t grab nothin’ for crap with these things…” Easily, I was able to set the pants on the ground in such away I could press my new hoof on the ground and pull on the string, freeing the bell and the string it had. “Can’t go anywhere without you,” I admitted. “But… where am I gonna put you…”
I vehemently refused to leave it behind, so it didn’t take me long to work out a solution. The belt I wore would make it easier to carry. So, with a bit more effort, I unbuckled the belt, withdrew it from the loops in my pants, and put the belt through the string loop of the bell. Lacking the ability to grab objects, I had to slide it along the floor. Next, I had to wrap the belt around myself and buckle it. It’s a stretchy belt, with many holes. It took a fair amount of effort to accomplish, but I was able to fit it around my waist. “But now I have the loose bit to deal with… Oh well. I’m wearing my bell, my belt, and my necklace. I’m good. Wait…”
The next few moments I spent digging through my pants for my phone. Once found, I managed to press the button on the side and saw the time. “12:24.” I looked around. “Well, I’m not dreaming then, because I know how I got here. Where’s a bathroom…” I got to my feet and immediately start to fall forward. With my reaction speed as fast as it was when I was human, I reached with my front leg and stopped my fall. “4 legs. How do I walk?” My eyes closed as I began imagining how horses walked. “1-4-2-3, 1-4-2-3…” First my right arm, then my left leg. My left arm and right leg. “This is gonna be harder than I thought.”
The key to human walking works like a metronome. Swaying your arms in time with your steps. Quadrupeds do it differently. Slightly different, but still not the same. Every step is one of four beats, where humans are every other. So for me to walk right, I had to learn how to move to a new rhythm. My back legs to the second and fourth beats, wilt my front two to beats one and three. Sure, I thought too hard on it, but I did that about a lot of things.
Slowly, but surely, I found my way to the bathroom. More effort was exerted in trying to pull myself up on the sink to look in a mirror. And what I saw, I couldn’t believe it was me. “Black … coat, not skin… Red mane, not hair. Still got blue eyes, so that’s good. Necklace, a bit rusty, but that’s usual. And… Oh wow, are those my ears?” I reached up to my new ears and poked them with my hoof. “Yup, I felt that.”
My wings were still opened, so I took a long look at them. “Let’s see… how’d she put it…” “Imagine you’ve got virtual bones and muscles, spreading into my wings…” “Like hell I can do that. I’ve already got the bones and muscles! I don’t have to imagine anything!” I started breathing heavy in growing anger at my situation. “Stay calm, there’s got to be a good explanation for this.”
I set myself down and look myself over again. “Tail, legs, barrel, … other legs, neck, head, and wings. None of which is actually mine.” “You’re refusing to believe this is you? Pitiful.” “You shut up, stupid head voice. I said it’s still me, but not actually mine. Like that movie where two people swap souls.”
In silence, I walked out of the bathroom. I returned to my discarded clothes and checked the time once more. “A quarter to 1. Well, I’mma learn to walk better.” I had spent the next fifteen minutes pacing up, down, and around the store. It was strange; usually when I walked, my bell didn’t make much noise. Now, it didn’t make noise at all. Sometime in those fifteen minutes, my wings folded themselves, hugging my back and a bit of my sides as they did. I’d gotten proficient enough to walk looking forward. Soon as I got something along the lines of confidence, I heard the sound of doors opening.
In defensive mode, I began hiding around aisles and spying around corners for the source. “Store’s empty, people gone, and you hear something. What is this, a scary one-liner?” I thought. As peeked around a corner, I heard talking. Quiet talking, so I could only assume they were on the opposite end of the store. Quietly, I closed in as their words got clearer, kinda.
One voice was really deep, from what I heard of it anyway. The other was also different, but indescribable at the same time. The closer I got, the louder I heard them. I followed them for a few minutes before I heard a name I recognized.
Ian.
“No way. That isn’t possible. But, I’m a horse with wings, so… is that a minotaur?” All the while hoping they were friendly, I stepped out and asked, “Which one of you claims to be ‘Ian’?”
~~~~
Ian grumbled to himself as he and Thane walked along the empty aisles of the store. His elongated face was still sore, on top of everything else, and he was sure that every time he tripped and fell on his face was a karmic reaction to his earlier assault on Thane's own snout. The roads had been slightly damp, due to the residual water left by some rainstorm or another in the days before their little group had arrived.
Thane helped him stand back on his hooves. “That must get annoying.” He said bluntly.
“Yeah, well,” Ian replied, with a little venom, “just be glad you don't have to deal with learning to walk all over again, Thane.”
There was a soft click-clacking behind them, out of time with what they both had become accustomed to as they walked, which was accompanied by the arrival of a new participant in the conversation.
“Which one of you claims to be 'Ian’?” he asked in a demanding manner.
The duo turned to face the newcomer. “Depends on who’s asking…” replied the smaller figure.
“Answer me first, creature. Who, among you, is ‘Ian’?” He narrowed his eyes and got low. In response to his heightened aggression, his wings unfurled and ears folded against his head.
Ian narrowed his own eyes in response, carefully disentangled himself from his backpack, and adopted a similar, yet decidedly more relaxed, stance. As he did, he felt that strange third set of eyelids sliding over his irises. “That…” he said, “would be me, Mr. Chivalry. Now, who’s asking?”
Having gotten his answer, he stood upright. “Ian? What the hell happened to you? You look like the kind of bug that’d splatter over a windshield.” He tried, successfully, to close his wings. “I’m who you call ‘Link’.”
Ian raised an eyebrow, and shared a glance with Thane. “Alright,” he said at last, “prove it.”
“Prove myself? And I’m cautious.” Carefully, the pegasus balanced his front half on one hoof while the other moved the necklace up to eye level. “Triforce necklace.” Then, he stepped down and turned a quarter. “Bell on my belt.” Once more, he faced the odd pair and asked, “Good enough?”
“From what you’ve told me about him, it seems right.” conceded Thane, with a shrug.
“Yeah, he’s got the accessories… and the hair… but one last thing…” Ian turned his attention back to the dark pegasus. “If you are him, then… let me tell you about Homestuck.”
Immediately, he raised his voice in reply. “You and Homestuck can go straight to hell!”
A wild grin split Ian's face, and burst into laughter. “Pfft… Hahahahaha! Yeah, that's him alright!” He then leapt forward and tackled Link in a bear hug. “Link, old friend, I thought yo-- OOF!”
“Get off me!” the pegasus replied, gut-punching his buddy. “You know I have a bubble. Respect it.” He crawled off to the side and returned to his… to a standing position.
Thane moved as if to intervene, but Ian waved him off, still clutching his abdomen. “Nah, nah,” he wheezed, “it’s fine. I just forgot he doesn't like contact. Thinks it’s a terrible movie.”
“With that kind of joke, you’re definitely Ian.” The dark horse looked at the tall monster. “Who’s he supposed to be?”
“Thane,” the minotaur said, folding his arms. “I’d shake your hand, or hoof, in this case, but I feel you wouldn’t appreciate that.”
Ian continued trying to regain his breath, as the conversation continued without him. Let them get acquainted, he thought, and we’ll probably be more likely to survive in the long run… oh, hey, someone lost a penny over here. Score!
“Well, at this point, I’d believe just about anything. Thane, you said, right?” the pegasus asked, tilting his head a little.
“Yep.” Thane said, nodding his head. “I take it you’re Link?”
“As if the exchange earlier didn’t make it clear, yeah. I’m Link.” Slowly, he turned and looked around. “Is it just you two? Or are there others?”
The Minotaur shook his head. “Not that we’ve seen. You’re the first, but there were more that were with us.”
Again, the pegasus looked at Thane. “Just you two... “ He sighed and looked down. “We could be the only ones left.”
Thane sighed, “Well, we can’t lose hope yet, we still haven’t headed to where Luke was. The shopping area was closer.”
“And the two of you thought to see if I was alright, is that it?”
“Pretty much, yeah.” Thane confirmed.
“Alright then.” Link looked to his buddy Ian and asked, “What do you think he is? I know I’m some black pegasus, you’re a minotaur, but what is he?”
Thane shook his head, “Something insectoid, all I can tell. I think we can afford worry about that once we figure out where Luke is, and what happened.”
Assuming he’s still here, Ian thought to himself, straining his short forelegs to reach underneath the shelf for the penny. He figured they could use all the luck they could get right now.
“You don’t know either, huh…” Once more, Link sighed. “Okay, so let me see if I’ve got this right: if you guys had it the way I did, then you also woke up like this. Meaning you didn’t see anything happen, just instant change.”
Another nod, “Yeah, pretty much.” He paused for a moment, glancing at Link’s belt. “I think I have a similar belt back home.”
“Doubt it’d fit you now,” he joked.
A smirk appeared on Thane’s face, “Still got a triforce wallet.”
The pegasus held up his necklace from before. “I’ve had this around my neck for years now. Got it at an outlet mall back home.” He tried to move the Triforce around to see what was behind it. “And the key here says ‘Courage’. Got this at Aki-Con one year. Had it since. Made the threaded part myself.”
Thane shook his head a bit, making the Yin-Yang charm clink lightly against the horn. “I just made this with spare parts from a craft store.”
Link looked back to his wings. “I’d see it better if I could get that high. Maybe you can lean down or something?”
Thane nodded, kneeling down so Link could get a better look. “I think we could all use a little courage right about now, huh?”
“You’re a minotaur. How do you not have courage?” Link asked, somewhat seriously. He looked at the symbol and swayed his head with its pendulum motion.
“Because last night I was an out of shape white nerd,” Thane replied, just as seriously. “I might not be as changed as you or Ian, but I’m probably freaking out just as much inside.”
Slowly, the pegasus backstepped. “Nerdy white kid, huh… I’d give you some courage of my own, but… I’ll be honest, I’m runnin’ a bit low myself.”
“Then we stay together and make our own,” Thane said. “Form a strong… Link, as it were.”
“I can roll with that, but first, there’s some things you should know. One: I like my personal space, so don’t get too close to me. If you so much as touch me… well, you’ve seen the result.”
Thane looked downwards at his new, very muscular torso. “Yeah… I don’t know how well that would work for you, but I’ll do my best to respect that.”
“I’d appreciate that.” Link glanced around him. “While we’re here, we may as well raid this place for stuff we might need.”
Thane took his backpack off, taking stock of what space he had. “I can fit some stuff in here,” he finally determined.
“I’m down for that,” came Ian's voice, as he managed to finally get the penny out into the open. With a little effort, he succeeded in flipping it onto his upturned forehoof, then clumsily transferred it to one of his shorts pockets. “Imma go see if they have a Toys section, then maybe grab a bike. Fuck walking like this for the rest of my life.” he then grabbed his backpack and slowly began making his way along the main aisle.
“You have fun with that. I’m gonna need to borrow Thane for a few minutes,” Link replied. He then looked to the minotaur. “I’ve got a request. And I’m only asking this ‘cause it’ll be difficult to do on my own.”
Thane nodded, “What do you need?”
“Your opposable thumbs. I won’t be able to put a backpack on myself, let alone put stuff in it.”
The minotaur nodded, looking around the mostly deserted store, “Well, let’s start looking for a good one.” Thane said, lumbering off into the store.
Link followed, staying a set distance away from the minotaur’s side. “Nothing flashy, nothing bright. Several large pockets and no chest clip.” He looked at Thane. “I’m picky, so what?”
Thane shrugged, “It’s your backpack, as long as it doesn’t take too long I don’t really care which one it is. I’d only recommend space, but you already covered that.”
The two of them wandered the store and stopped by the backpack section. After careful consideration, Link chose one he thought would fit just fine. “Now here’s where you come in.”
His massive companion nodded, carefully helping Link into the backpack like he had Ian, “Your wings look less fragile than his do.” Thane remarked.
“He’s got wings, too, huh...” Link asked. “I thought I saw something, but I wasn’t sure.”
Thane nodded, “Yeah, they almost look like gossamer, but also similar to a dragonfly’s.”
“Sounds cool,” Link admitted, shifting the backpack. “Anyway, with this, I should be able to carry my own weight. Food and tools and such like that.”
The minotaur looked over his handiwork. “Fits well?” he asked. “No chafing?”
“Fits just fine. For now at least. Might be hard to balance with a narrow back like mine.” Link extended his wings slowly. “These two should help with that.”
Thane nodded, “We might have to figure out a more stable solution, like a saddle bag style thing.”
“Hey, if your leatherworker level is high enough, feel free to try and fit me with something like that.”
The minotaur snorted, “I’d rather level heavy armor, or two handed weapons right now,” he said. “Ok, food is important, but what else could we use?”
Link began listing things off, as if he’d had to do this before. “Rope, blades, wrench and ratchet sets, stuff like that. The rope I’ll need to carry outside the pack. Around my neck and leg, I guess?”
Thane nodded, thinking of other things, “Duct tape, at the very least as well, maybe make a makeshift sheath to hold a bigger weapon.”
“I’m a bit too restricted in my weapon use,” Link agreed. “What could I even use as one?”
Thane thought about that for a minute. “Maybe some kind of makeshift horseshoe?” he suggested. “Add an extra oomph to your kicks?”
“You got kicks right. 3 times stronger than any punch I’ve thrown.” Link laughed a little. “The nails might hurt though…”
“I’m thinking more human shoe like,” Thane offered, “that ties into your hooves somehow. And extra strength is right, I punched a hole through the wall of my room from stretching.”
“Must have been one hell of a stretch. I accidentally put my heel through a third party game system.”
“Ooh,” said Thane, wincing slightly, “that sounds like a fun experience.”
“Not particularly. I had a friend over at the time.” Link flicked an ear, then sat down carefully. “And if you want to hear it, it starts with-”
~~~~
Ian:
I was not too happy with my new locomotive arrangement, to say the least. Actually, I hated everything about this new body, except maybe the wings, but my extremities were the main problem at the moment. In theory, four legs were more stable than two, but… in practice? Not so much. Especially on someone like me, who had been using a two-legged setup for a good twenty years of his life. Then again, they were also in motion, but that's beside the point.
Not to mention all the holes in my limbs, which were another part of my tripping problem: some parts kept getting caught on other bits, and I was pretty sure the holes themselves compromised the overall structural integrity of my various appendages. And that's discounting the whole “covered in chitin” issue...
As I picked myself up from another near-faceplant, and my thin tongue started worrying at the fangs running along the roof of my mouth, I began contemplating the parade of problems that my life had become ‘til now. All because of one little bone-headed move… The only thing I'd said to the others about the issue was that I had quit my job at Walmart for personal reasons, which had allowed me to make this trip, and hunt for better prospects in a new location. The fact that it brought me geographically closer to what had been my dream job of the last several years was a bonus.
Stupid customer, getting all uppity and crossing a line he shouldn't have about my personal life… I thought, not that it excused my reaction to his intrusion in any way, shape, or form. It had surprised me more than anyone, to be honest, but the whole situation had been fucked up to begin with. And then, on top of it all, for my immediate family to go and--
I tripped and almost faceplanted again, this time in front of the bike rack. Apparently my phone had had enough of my shenanigans, because it decided to jump ship and go flying out of its pocket, though I was fortunate that the case prevented it from sustaining any damage. It was accompanied by the stylus. Maybe this was a sign from some god or another, or even reality itself, that I should check in with my family? My sister, at least.
Kayleigh had seemed the least hateful towards me after all that, and with it being sometime after 4 a.m. over there, she’d most likely be up in a couple hours’ time to go to school. Assuming that what had happened here in Scunthorpe hadn’t also occurred in America, that is. Even so, I owed her one, despite my feelings not being too far above “bitter” with regards to her.
I carefully turned on my phone, earning the usual complaint of “DROOOOID…!” before navigating to the Messenger app and orchestrating a quick text to my li’l sis. I had to hold the stylus in my mouth to edit after I finished with the speech-to-text function, which was demeaning, but at least I was able to get it done. It also didn't help that my voice had this echo-y buzz to it now.
I’m sorry, I'm sorry, a thousand times I'm sorry. If I haven't already started another fight by now, then the 'rents will probably be at it again soon enough, and you'll probably be swept into it as collateral, and I am once again sorry for that. (Whoop-de-fukkin’-do for them though, because I'm finally outta their hair.)
I’m in Scunthorpe, if anyone cares, and something's gone down here. Something crazy, and disturbing. I woke up, and I wasn't human anymore. Neither is Thane or Link. We think everyone else is just gone. Vanished. Like, poof.
Come find me if you guys think you can, or if you even want to. I don't care anymore. I’m just sorry your last image of me was fighting with Mom and Dad. I’d send you a picture, but I doubt you’d even recognize my face now.
Goodbye, Bird, probably forever. This is Stormchaser, signing off for what may well be the final time.
I hope you’re ok. I’ll miss you.
I hit send, then closed the app. I still had a “missed call” notification to deal with though, and to my shock, it was from a number that I could identify: Luke, the guy that'd arranged this whole trip in the first place! That glorious bastard...!
Stuffing the phone and stylus back in my pocket, I wrestled a kid's bike off the racks, then made my awkward, wobbly way back towards where I'd last seen Link and Thane. Passing by the various toy aisles as I went, my heart and mind grew heavy with sorrow. When I saw the legos, I almost broke into tears. This whole scenario, and everything leading up to it, finally came crashing down on me.
My life had gone to hell in a handbasket, my hopes and dreams mercilessly dashed against the incomprehensible cliffs of Reality by the mercurial waves of Fate. I was some sort of mutant miniature horse thing, reduced to using a little girl’s bike to get around because I couldn't even fucking walk anymore, with nothing to my name but the contents of the backpack on my chest, the luggage container I'd left with Thane, and the few paltry items in my shorts.
I’d obviously left my sanity and grasp of reality back at home when I skipped town, though, and I was starting to suspect someone had nicked my sense of self-worth somewhere in between. Nonetheless, I had friends to attend to, so I pedaled onwards with my stubby, bell-bottomed, hole-filled legs, and tried not to fall over.
Again.
~~~~
“Needless to say, I was down a game system, hand-held as it was.” Link finished his story and stood upright, stretching his legs and … forelegs. He let out a slow yawn, expressing his restlessness.
Thane nodded his massive head. “I see. Good thing you had a spare then…”
“I don’t even remember how I got them, either. But none of that matters now. Now that I’ve got a backpack, let’s go see where the stuff is to fill it.” Link began walking toward the hardware section. “Back in my Wal-Mart, we had rope in the hardware section. Strong enough to hold even you. Hopefully…”
Another nod, “Where was the duct tape?”
“Same place. Few rows away though…” Almost a year working the aisles of Wal-Mart had left a wondrous impression of where things were for the previous employee.
“Duct tape is one of the most useful things on this earth.” Thane said.
“Sure is. Once patched up a wireframe for my window many years ag-AAH!” Link was interrupted by nearly falling forward.
Thane was quick to grab a strap of his backpack to stop him from faceplanting. “How hard is that?” He asked.
“Walking?” Link asked. “Very hard. Not that you’d know, still being bipedal.” He righted himself and tried stepping again.
All conversation came to a minor halt as they both heard something coming towards them from a few aisles over. It wasn't the somewhat familiar sound of a four-legged creature. Instead, it was more of a rattly, dragging sound. But, in some way, it was familiar nonetheless.
Thane turned to the sound. “Is that a… bike?” he questioned.
“Sounds like it…” Link’s ears twitched at the growing sound of wheels turning and chain moving. “Might need WD-40 too.”
After another moment, the source of the noise came around the corner, revealing itself to be Ian on a girl's bike, which was making more noise than one normally expected a bike of that size to make. The first words out of Ian’s mouth when he saw them were: “Don't judge me, guys. This was the only one that fit me.”
“HAHAHA!” The black pegasus busted out laughing. “Ohh, I’m totally judging you! That’s a little girl’s bike! With … Training wheels?!” He fell to the floor in uncontrollable laugter.
“Yeah, well, I'm still getting used to this new body, so it helps. it's not fun being short again.” Ian glowered at Link, then muttered quietly to himself: “at least I’m slightly taller than you when I'm standing.”
Thane looked at the bike dubiously. “Were there no bikes that were more… masculine?” he asked. “Just pink with rainbows on it?”
“I just said, this is the only one that fit!” Ian nearly yelled. “Not to mention the fact that this is a bitch to turn with these mangled hands of mine…”
Link got to his feet… hooves, again and calmed himself. “Alright, first off. Little girl’s bike. Second, your hands are not hands. They are hooves. Er, mostly hooves. Looks like you’re missing some parts.”
Ian deadpanned. “Seriously, gimme crap about the bike again, and I'll run you over. And I'm pretty sure these are still kinda hands. They’ve got, like, palms to them, which are really fucking sensitive, let me tell you. Not to mention, I can still sort of feel my fingers…”
“If a car parks on a notecard, is it a paperweight? Using hooves as hands don’t make them such.” Link formed a frown over his face. “No really. Serious question.”
Ian rolled his eyes. “Well… I… dammit, it's not that I'm using them like hands, it’s that they still feel like hands. Also, I… I just refuse to refer to them like that. They’re my hands, arms, whatever. I’ll call them what I want.”
“Him?” Link pointed up at Thane’s arms with his foreleg. “Those are hands, arms, and fingers.” Then, he pointed to Ian’s perforated legs. “Those are not. Very clear distinction.” He set his hoof down and grinned.
The darker, chitinous figure sighed and shook his head sadly. “You just… you just don't get it… this is a matter of sanity for me.” He held up a foreleg, staring deliberately and defiantly at it. His next words took on a softer tone, but were dangerous nonetheless. “If I don’t hold my resolve, if I call them ‘legs’, or… whatever… even to myself... that'll be admitting defeat. I’ll be admitting that I've been physically reduced to nothing more than some animal. And a deformed one at that.” Ian looked up and pinned Link with another glare, this time with more intensity than before. “And who’s to say our minds aren't going to follow suit at some point?”
Link also sighed. He thought for a moment, looking at the bike. “There isn’t any say. This is what we are now. I’m willing to accept that. Hooves, legs… Mane and tail. All of it. If my sanity, corrupt as it is, decides to devolve with the rest of me, I can live with that too.” He returned his gaze and narrowed it. “But, let me ask you this: Are you willing to do nothing until you get to that point? Or are you going to make the most of it?”
The armored being broke eye contact, looking away as he spoke. “How... how could you just assume that I'd do nothing? I fully intend to find a way to reverse this, as impossible as that sounds. You may be fine with devolving into some mythological bird-brained horse, and Thane may be fine running around until he finds the nearest hedge maze, but until I find out what I am, I won't let it happen to me. I don't want to turn into some mindless killing machine straight out of Alien.”
“... You feel any better? Got it all out?” Link asked.
“No…” Came the soft reply. “You don't know the half of it. I’m tired, and recently there’s been this sort of… oh, forget it. let’s just go.”
“No no, you brought it up. Finish it,” he replied. “With conviction. No regrets as they say.”
“That's a topic for another time. Are we going to stand around all day and chat, or are we actually going to get some shit done?” asked the dark rider. “This isn't Red vs Blue.”
Thane nodded. “We need to find Luke, then decide on what to do next,” he said. “But before we do…” He walked outside, and Link followed closely, curious as to where he’d be going in the middle of shopping. Ian had no recourse but to tag along as well, for fear of being left behind.
Thane spied a stop sign in the sidewalk. Walking to it, he gripped the middle of it with his hands and pulled as hard as he could. For a moment, nothing happened, but soon enough, the pavement at the bottom began to crack, and eventually it ripped out, a small chunk of concrete sticking to the bottom of the metal pole.
“If you smack that against an Agent’s body, the cement will shatter. Also… I’m not sure whether to call you Neo, or Shizuo Heiwajima.” Commented Link.
Ian placed a forehoof to his forehead. “Wow, ok, can we stop being meta here?” he asked, sarcastically. “I know I do references like that too, but… ah, whatever. Oh, I meant to tell you guys, Luke's still around somewhere. He was the one that called me earlier.”
Thane smirked, holding the sign with two hands, “Well, let’s go find him then, shall we?”
There was a sigh, then Ian spoke again. “Alright, Mr. Badass, that was fun, but weren't we about to go looting useful shit or something? I mean, I'm pretty sure I saw some wagons back in toys, but don't quote me on that.”
Thane nodded, placing his new axe against the wall. “Ah, my mistake. I’ll just have to grab this before we head out.” he said, following the two back inside.
Once inside, Link looked around. “If you want to help him hook up a wagon to his bike, I guess I can get my own stuff from the shelves.” Link parted ways with them and headed back to his previous department.
The smaller of the remaining duo looked up into the face of the first being he'd met in this newly-arranged shithole. “I'm not sure I could pull everything on this tiny bike, but we could try… also, I need to paint it black or something, because I feel ridiculous for riding it now.”
“So, we're looking for a wagon, anything else?” Thane asked.
And with that, the pair of former humans moved off towards the toys section.
~~~~
Link:
I parted ways with Bug Ian and Minotaur Thane, since they had their own thing going on. Without the latter’s help, getting some of the tools was harder than I hoped. On my way to the section, I began mumbling to myself.
“What a fine mess you’re in, huh? Horse body… no hands, no fingers…” I dragged my hooves along the ground as I walked. “Still have to pick up my hooves when I walk.”
In the hardware area, I decided not to go for rope first, and instead gather tools. Not being able to remove my backpack made getting them inside a challenge. One I had no intention of undertaking. I had found the outside garbage cans mostly used for trash and knocked one over, creating a small racket as the lid and body separated.
“I can use this,” I said to myself. One kick at a time, I moved it back to the tools. With the lid being rounded, it could hold stuff. My new problem was moving it once full.
Standard wrenches, metric wrenches, screwdriver set, 3 rolls of duct tape, 2 crescent wrenches, several box knives and an exponential amount of replacement blades. After the tape, I found it easier on me to bring the later stuff to the lid. Didn’t know how to open the box knives so I could cut a length of twine. Which I’d have used to pull the lid behind me. Somehow.
“Well, you’ve got it. What now?” I asked. “I have all I need for now… but it’s… hmm…” I walked behind the lid and stepped in with my forelegs. It didn’t move, until I started using my hindlegs to walk. My own weight kept it down, and ahead of me as I walked, er, pushed, it through the store to the toys section in search of Ian and Thane. “Guys?” I asked, “I got some stuff.”
~~~~
As Link came around to where Ian and Thane were, he was treated to the sight of them both in the process of finishing up a wagon. A second, completed one sat nearby, ready to roll.
They both looked up as he approached. “Oh, good,” said Ian, distractedly, “chuck it in the other wagon, next to my stuff. Also, they sell jump-ropes here, so we could use those for tying stuff.” He then returned his attention to the instruction booklet.
“I would, bug boy, but I think I’d rather carry my own. Besides, I don’t want you to have to haul everything, even though you’re the one pulling a wagon. I’d feel bad. Kinda.” Link looked over to the minotaur. “When you got a minute, think you could fit these into my pack? If it gets too heavy, I’ll let you know.”
Ian quietly muttered something to himself that might have been “horsefeathers,” which thankfully went unnoticed.
The minotaur nodded as he knelt down to help Link get his things into his pack. “So, game plan once we're out of here: Grab my axe, find anyone else here, hopefully Luke. Then what?”
“I dunno,” said Ian, distractedly, “look for survival manuals, or online guides. Try to survive as long as we can. Thane, that piece goes over there, by the way. Oh, and maybe we can grab a few games, because it’ll get boring with just our little group to bounce ideas off of all day.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Link asked the other two. “Games are fine and all, but while we’re walking? I don’t feel like carrying a game board over my back.” He attempted to put the two pack of tape into his front pocket with just his hooves. In a few tries, he succeeded. “There’s always the road games we all played as kids, if you’re that desperate.”
“Dude,” interjected Ian, “I was talking about for when we find a place to take over, like a house. Or, well, if. If is good. Also, we won't be flat-walkin’: I was thinking we’d be taking a dramatic ride-drive. Assuming you still have the keys for the rental, that is. And, unless we're grabbing one of those giant plastic cars, which would be fun to mod, I... think we’re done here.” With that, he shoved the thin paper booklet off under the deckplate of a nearby shelf. “How 'bout you guys?”
Thane nodded. “I've got to grab my axe, but that's it.”
“Alright,” Ian agreed, “but is it really an axe if it's not sharpened? Oh, and speaking of that: if they have a garden center, I'd like to swing by that and maybe grab a lawn mower blade… because reasons. I mean, it is good steel.”
Another nod from Thane. “You could make a decent sword or machete out of one of those. Nothing close to the Murasama, but still.”
“If I’m getting a sword, It’s not gonna be second-rate Murasame. It’ll be the greater, Masamune. The really long one used by Sephiroth!” Link exclaimed. “But… such things are out of reach now…” He sighed and hung his head a little.
Ian’s eyelid twitched a bit, and his ears drooped slightly, as he tried and failed to parse this latest exchange. “Uh… I was just going to go for something functional that I could, I don't know, hold in my mouth. Or maybe strap a couple onto my wrists, if I'm feeling crazy.” He turned to Link. “Besides, it would be cooler if you got something like a bow. Then we could roleplay as Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn. Oh, who am I kidding… we’re two mini-horses and a Minotaur, alone against a now-empty planet that the rest of our missing race screwed up. We’re fucked.” His head dropped nearly all the way to the floor and hung there for a bit. “Let's just… let's just go, alright?” Ian finally said, dejectedly. “Maybe grab some food, but... yeah. Find Luke...”
Thane nodded. “I was going to bring up that I meant the Murasama from Metal Gear Rising, but I can do that later.” He looked at the other two before continuing. “If you need anything else, go get it, otherwise I'm good.”
“Me too,” agreed Ian, “I can grab my stuff on the way. So, unless Link needs something else last minute, let’s roll out.” He tried to strike a dramatic pose, one foreleg in the air, but only managed to fall over again. “D’arvit! Let's just go…”
Link looked at his friend and chuckled. “Messed that one up, but I agree. I’ve nothing left- Wait! The keys to the vehicle.”
Nodding, Ian made sure one of the wagons was at least passably attached to his bike, then hopped on and got ready to follow Link.
Carefully but quickly, Link walked to where his pants were rejected on the floor. He rummaged through the pockets with his mouth, only because his hoof wouldn’t fit where he kept his keys. Link turned his neck and tossed the keys into the wagon pulled by his bug friend Ian. After he looked around, he put a couple bags of apples in the cart. “I’ll get hungry on the road.”
“Yeah,” Ian agreed, “we are part horse now, and I know they like apples.”
“I’d prefer an orange if we can get one.” Thane offered, looking around for some.
“And maybe sugar.” Ian quipped “And salt. I think horses like that, too… oh, fuck, what if I have to eat grass now?”
Thane shrugged, “Well, if we have equine and bovine physiologies, then we should be able to, and possibly enjoy it. You don’t like it, then don’t eat it.”
“So says the milk tank…” Ian grumbled in response, with a slight smile.
“Heh, Miltank. It’s a pokemon.” Link said quietly to himself.
Thane glared at Ian, “I think I’m the wrong gender for that. Unless you’re thinking a bit lower.” He said, a small smirk adorning his face as he did so.
Ian closed his eyes in exasperation, and took a deep breath. “You just had to make it weird, didn't you…”
Thane shrugged, “My sense of humor is weird.”
After picking up the aforementioned oranges and some Granny Smith apples,they kept going, momentarily stopping to grab Ian a Lawnmower blade. Soon, they had reached the front doors, and proceeded to set of the alarm as they left. Ian, however, took the opportunity to kick one of the security devices over.
“Not that I ever stole anything before,” Ian explained as Link led them through the parking lot, “because it’s wrong, but those things were getting on my nerves. Definitely too loud.”
“Yeah, I was gonna say,” Thane said, grabbing his Stop-Axe on the way out. “Gonna enjoy some public vandalism while you can?”
Ian rolled his eyes. “Nah, man, I'd probably just piss on a garden gnome or something, given my current state.” He trailed off into silence, his gaze focused on the ground.
“Think I’ll refrain too,” Link agreed. “Integrity and all that. Still, I would like to know exactly why the world kept us and Houdini’d everyone else…”
“We’ll figure it out.” Thane said confidently.
“We better,” came the inevitable reply, as they reached the car. “Shotgun, by the way.”
“I always forget to call it… Oh well… I like the back seat anyway.” Link looked into the window and saw everything was how he left it.
“Now… who’s driving this thing?” Ian asked, looking between the minotaur and winged horse.
Thane raised his hand. “Probably myself. Being the only one with hands.” He said, “I’ll warn you, I haven’t driven for long, but I can drive well enough.”
“True,” Ian said, as he waited for Thane to open the passenger door for both himself and Link. “Also, I have no previous experience with driving. But… won't you be cramped in that tiny seat? You know, with your tiny legs and ginormous horns?”
Thane looked over the car. “Can you hand me that lawn mower blade?”
“Uh… sure.” Ian acquiesced hesitantly, clamping the indicated bit of metal between his forehooves as he gave it to his overlarge friend. “What’re you gonna--”
Quickly, Link retreated a few good feet, almost scared of a deadly weapon.
Thane grabbed the blade and stabbed it into the roof, digging straight through. Using brute strength, he managed to dig through the roof and tear it off. “Might be a bit snug, but I can drive like this.” He handed the blade back to Ian, who was dumbstruck.
“...You know there was a sunroof on that…” the chitinous figure said, slowly. “Also, you scare me sometimes.”
Thane shrugged, “I’m a minotaur. I have big muscly arms. Lots of strength that I must use.”
“That ain’t all natural, though...” Ian replied, as Thane carefully opened what was left of the back door. “I’ve seen bodybuilders bigger than you who probably couldn't have done that. Something's up, here.”
Thane shrugged again. “I’m also a mythological creature. Natural for them, maybe.”
“Oh, so you're saying I'm suddenly going to start shooting sparks from this spike on my face?” Ian asked, as he assisted Thane and Link in stowing their new stuff. “Or Link’s going to leap into the air, and start flying around like a hummingbird? Like that’ll happen.”
Link retrieved the keys from Ian’s wagon before they got lost in the multitude of stuff already being moved. “Besides, hummingbirds can hover and fly backward. Outside of Hercules, I’ve never seen another bird do that. Let alone a pegasus. Hovering? Likely. Backward? Now, you’re pushing it.” With his backpack off of him, he tucked the keys under his right wing, and waited for either of the other two to notice.
Thane shrugged, trying to get himself into the driver's seat. “Thank god this thing is an automatic.”
“I can’t drive a stick,” Link confessed.
“Yeah, thank God for small miracles.”
Thane opened the glove box carefully, looking around for the keys unsuccessfully, before doing the same on the visor to the same result. “Got an answer for the seeming lack of keys?”
“Uh, I thought Link had them,” Ian replied.
“Nope. I gave them to your red wagon. Did you see me take them back?” Link asked, raising an eyebrow from the middle row of seats.
“Oh, uh, no. No, I didn't,” Ian replied.
“Because I totally did.” Link unfurled his wing and dropped the keys on the seat, their jingle plainly heard. “Here,” he said, tossing them up to Thane with his mouth.
“Now, where to?” Ian asked. “Town square?”
Thane nodded, placing his axe in the backseat. “Best place to look, hopefully,” he said, turning the keys and starting the engine.
“Yeah, and if we don't find anyone,” Ian began, “we can decide where to go from there.”
Thane nodded, putting the car in drive. “Someone’s gonna have to give me directions. I’ve been in this city for a grand total of about twelve hours.”
Author's Note
Nova:
seriously though, chapters will probably take awhile to be written out, seeing as we're not only having to collaborate from two different countries, but multiple time zones and varying work shifts.
