*Link’s POV*

I woke up on the floor of the supermarket’s fruit section. Out of years of habit, I stayed on the floor, unmoving, and listened to my surroundings. Absolute silence. “that’s impossible. there were at least a hundred people here just a few moments ago…” Slowly, I opened my eye and glanced around. No one was around me. “very odd…”

Carefully, I lifted my head off the cool flooring, and looked around myself. Carts scattered the aisles, some half filled with groceries. Then, I noticed something black, just in front of my face. “What’s-” I started. “Is that… That’s my nose. Why’s my nose black?” I asked aloud. Though I knew no one would answer, I asked a different question. “Is anybody else still alive?!” I practically yelled it. Then to myself, I added, “just me then…”

As with cautiously waking up, I developed a habit of checking my body for injury by moving each individual joint slowly. I started with my feet, and immediately I had problems. Not that I was hurt, or anything. It was that I couldn’t feel my toes. With this problem already apparent, I looked down at my legs and saw. “Aren’t my legs supposed to be longer than my pants?” “Alright, Link. You’ve seen enough of that one ninja anime to realize you’re in some kind of illusion. Awareness will set me free,” I thought. “Nice try, whoever did this, but it’s just an illusion. I know who I am, and there’s no amount of genjutsu trickery you could stockpile to make me think I’m not me.”

Again, no answer. Once more, I looked at myself. Still no protruding feet. “Nope. That didn’t work at all.” I noticed my belt was a little looser, so I wormed my way out from them. A bright red mass of hair followed me out, and I recognized it as a tail. “There’s just too much to take in right now...” I said, seeing my new black legs. At first glance, I saw there were not the usual knee joints. “Just what am I? ‘Least my shirt kinda fits.” My attention was drawn to the unusual tightness of the shirt I wore. In my best efforts to stand, I still fell a few times before I got my feet under me. As well as my hands.

But, I guess most quadrupeds would call them all “legs”. My arms were also black, though a bit more flexible than my legs, despite the restricting shirt. “Alright,” I began, “what is happening? Or, already happened. What’s going on?” With my new form, I decided it’s best to learn how to properly regain mobility. It was a bit of a stretch, but I knew a horse when I saw one. And if my limbs were any indicator, I’d just been turned into a dark horse. I had seen how horses sat, and tried to imitate it. With some success, I was able to at least stay in an upright position.

With much effort, I tried to remove my now unfitting shirt from my… front half. It wasn’t top half anymore. Unfortunately, the garment got hung up on something, but I didn’t know what. Horses didn’t usually come with their own saddles. Especially people turned into horses, so my confusion was justified. After a bit of wrangling, I managed to toss my shirt aside. I looked at myself again. “I’ve still got my necklace. Good. Fits alright too. Oh, that reminds me…”

Before I could even do anything, two strange appendages unfolded themselves from my back. “Woah, what the hell?!” I asked. In reaction, I looked behind me and saw two wings, extended. “Horses don’t have wings. Ever.” I thought for a moment, before rephrasing, “Okay, well mythological horses can." Putting that train aside for the time being, I returned to my original track.

For many years, I had worn a jingle bell tied to my front right belt loop. Every single day, with no exception. When I reached for it, I saw I didn’t have any fingers. “Crap. Uhm…” I pulled the pants close to me and tried to hold them up. “Hooves. Can’t grab nothin’ for crap with these things…” Easily, I was able to set the pants on the ground in such away I could press my new hoof on the ground and pull on the string, freeing the bell and the string it had. “Can’t go anywhere without you,” I admitted. “But… where am I gonna put you…”

I vehemently refused to leave it behind, so it didn’t take me long to work out a solution. The belt I wore would make it easier to carry. So, with a bit more effort, I unbuckled the belt, withdrew it from the loops in my pants, and put the belt through the string loop of the bell. Lacking the ability to grab objects, I had to slide it along the floor. Next, I had to wrap the belt around myself and buckle it. It’s a stretchy belt, with many holes. It took a fair amount of effort to accomplish, but I was able to fit it around my waist. “But now I have the loose bit to deal with… Oh well. I’m wearing my bell, my belt, and my necklace. I’m good. Wait…”

The next few moments I spent digging through my pants for my phone. Once found, I managed to press the button on the side and saw the time. “12:24.” I looked around. “Well, I’m not dreaming then, because I know how I got here. Where’s a bathroom…” I got to my feet and immediately start to fall forward. With my reaction speed as fast as it was when I was human, I reached with my front leg and stopped my fall. “4 legs. How do I walk?” My eyes closed as I began imagining how horses walked. “1-4-2-3, 1-4-2-3…” First my right arm, then my left leg. My left arm and right leg. “This is gonna be harder than I thought.”

The key to human walking works like a metronome. Swaying your arms in time with your steps. Quadrupeds do it differently. Slightly different, but still not the same. Every step is one of four beats, where humans are every other. So for me to walk right, I had to learn how to move to a new rhythm. My back legs to the second and fourth beats, wilt my front two to beats one and three. Sure, I thought too hard on it, but I did that about a lot of things.

Slowly, but surely, I found my way to the bathroom. More effort was exerted in trying to pull myself up on the sink to look in a mirror. And what I saw, I couldn’t believe it was me. “Black … coat, not skin… Red mane, not hair. Still got blue eyes, so that’s good. Necklace, a bit rusty, but that’s usual. And… Oh wow, are those my ears?” I reached up to my new ears and poked them with my hoof. “Yup, I felt that.”

My wings were still opened, so I took a long look at them. “Let’s see… how’d she put it…” “Imagine you’ve got virtual bones and muscles, spreading into my wings…” “Like hell I can do that. I’ve already got the bones and muscles! I don’t have to imagine anything!” I started breathing heavy in growing anger at my situation. “Stay calm, there’s got to be a good explanation for this.”

I set myself down and look myself over again. “Tail, legs, barrel, … other legs, neck, head, and wings. None of which is actually mine.” “You’re refusing to believe this is you? Pitiful.” “You shut up, stupid head voice. I said it’s still me, but not actually mine. Like that movie where two people swap souls.”

In silence, I walked out of the bathroom. I returned to my discarded clothes and checked the time once more. “A quarter to 1. Well, I’mma learn to walk better.” I had spent the next fifteen minutes pacing up, down, and around the store. It was strange; usually when I walked, my bell didn’t make much noise. Now, it didn’t make noise at all. Sometime in those fifteen minutes, my wings folded themselves, hugging my back and a bit of my sides as they did. I’d gotten proficient enough to walk looking forward. Soon as I got something along the lines of confidence, I heard the sound of doors opening.

In defensive mode, I began hiding around aisles and spying around corners for the source. “Store’s empty, people gone, and you hear something. What is this, a scary one-liner?” I thought. As peeked around a corner, I heard talking. Quiet talking, so I could only assume they were on the opposite end of the store. Quietly, I closed in as their words got clearer, kinda.

One voice was really deep, from what I heard of it anyway. The other was also different, but indescribable at the same time. The closer I got, the louder I heard them. I followed them for a few minutes before I heard a name I recognized.

Ian.

“No way. That isn’t possible. But, I’m a horse with wings, so… is that a minotaur?” All the while hoping they were friendly, I stepped out and asked, “Which one of you claims to be ‘Ian’?”

~~~~
Ian grumbled to himself as he and Thane walked along the empty aisles of the store. His elongated face was still sore, on top of everything else, and he was sure that every time he tripped and fell on his face was a karmic reaction to his earlier assault on Thane's own snout. The roads had been slightly damp, due to the residual water left by some rainstorm or another in the days before their little group had arrived.

Thane helped him stand back on his hooves. “That must get annoying.” He said bluntly.

“Yeah, well,” Ian replied, with a little venom, “just be glad you don't have to deal with learning to walk all over again, Thane.”

There was a soft click-clacking behind them, out of time with what they both had become accustomed to as they walked, which was accompanied by the arrival of a new participant in the conversation.

“Which one of you claims to be 'Ian’?” he asked in a demanding manner.

The duo turned to face the newcomer. “Depends on who’s asking…” replied the smaller figure.

“Answer me first, creature. Who, among you, is ‘Ian’?” He narrowed his eyes and got low. In response to his heightened aggression, his wings unfurled and ears folded against his head.

Ian narrowed his own eyes in response, carefully disentangled himself from his backpack, and adopted a similar, yet decidedly more relaxed, stance. As he did, he felt that strange third set of eyelids sliding over his irises. “That…” he said, “would be me, Mr. Chivalry. Now, who’s asking?”

Having gotten his answer, he stood upright. “Ian? What the hell happened to you? You look like the kind of bug that’d splatter over a windshield.” He tried, successfully, to close his wings. “I’m who you call ‘Link’.”

Ian raised an eyebrow, and shared a glance with Thane. “Alright,” he said at last, “prove it.”

“Prove myself? And I’m cautious.” Carefully, the pegasus balanced his front half on one hoof while the other moved the necklace up to eye level. “Triforce necklace.” Then, he stepped down and turned a quarter. “Bell on my belt.” Once more, he faced the odd pair and asked, “Good enough?”

“From what you’ve told me about him, it seems right.” conceded Thane, with a shrug.

“Yeah, he’s got the accessories… and the hair… but one last thing…” Ian turned his attention back to the dark pegasus. “If you are him, then… let me tell you about Homestuck.”

Immediately, he raised his voice in reply. “You and Homestuck can go straight to hell!”

A wild grin split Ian's face, and burst into laughter. “Pfft… Hahahahaha! Yeah, that's him alright!” He then leapt forward and tackled Link in a bear hug. “Link, old friend, I thought yo-- OOF!”

“Get off me!” the pegasus replied, gut-punching his buddy. “You know I have a bubble. Respect it.” He crawled off to the side and returned to his… to a standing position.

Thane moved as if to intervene, but Ian waved him off, still clutching his abdomen. “Nah, nah,” he wheezed, “it’s fine. I just forgot he doesn't like contact. Thinks it’s a terrible movie.”

“With that kind of joke, you’re definitely Ian.” The dark horse looked at the tall monster. “Who’s he supposed to be?”

“Thane,” the minotaur said, folding his arms. “I’d shake your hand, or hoof, in this case, but I feel you wouldn’t appreciate that.”

Ian continued trying to regain his breath, as the conversation continued without him. Let them get acquainted, he thought, and we’ll probably be more likely to survive in the long run… oh, hey, someone lost a penny over here. Score!

“Well, at this point, I’d believe just about anything. Thane, you said, right?” the pegasus asked, tilting his head a little.

“Yep.” Thane said, nodding his head. “I take it you’re Link?”

“As if the exchange earlier didn’t make it clear, yeah. I’m Link.” Slowly, he turned and looked around. “Is it just you two? Or are there others?”

The Minotaur shook his head. “Not that we’ve seen. You’re the first, but there were more that were with us.”

Again, the pegasus looked at Thane. “Just you two... “ He sighed and looked down. “We could be the only ones left.”

Thane sighed, “Well, we can’t lose hope yet, we still haven’t headed to where Luke was. The shopping area was closer.”

“And the two of you thought to see if I was alright, is that it?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Thane confirmed.

“Alright then.” Link looked to his buddy Ian and asked, “What do you think he is? I know I’m some black pegasus, you’re a minotaur, but what is he?”

Thane shook his head, “Something insectoid, all I can tell. I think we can afford worry about that once we figure out where Luke is, and what happened.”

Assuming he’s still here, Ian thought to himself, straining his short forelegs to reach underneath the shelf for the penny. He figured they could use all the luck they could get right now.

“You don’t know either, huh…” Once more, Link sighed. “Okay, so let me see if I’ve got this right: if you guys had it the way I did, then you also woke up like this. Meaning you didn’t see anything happen, just instant change.”

Another nod, “Yeah, pretty much.” He paused for a moment, glancing at Link’s belt. “I think I have a similar belt back home.”

“Doubt it’d fit you now,” he joked.

A smirk appeared on Thane’s face, “Still got a triforce wallet.”

The pegasus held up his necklace from before. “I’ve had this around my neck for years now. Got it at an outlet mall back home.” He tried to move the Triforce around to see what was behind it. “And the key here says ‘Courage’. Got this at Aki-Con one year. Had it since. Made the threaded part myself.”

Thane shook his head a bit, making the Yin-Yang charm clink lightly against the horn. “I just made this with spare parts from a craft store.”

Link looked back to his wings. “I’d see it better if I could get that high. Maybe you can lean down or something?”

Thane nodded, kneeling down so Link could get a better look. “I think we could all use a little courage right about now, huh?”

“You’re a minotaur. How do you not have courage?” Link asked, somewhat seriously. He looked at the symbol and swayed his head with its pendulum motion.

“Because last night I was an out of shape white nerd,” Thane replied, just as seriously. “I might not be as changed as you or Ian, but I’m probably freaking out just as much inside.”

Slowly, the pegasus backstepped. “Nerdy white kid, huh… I’d give you some courage of my own, but… I’ll be honest, I’m runnin’ a bit low myself.”

“Then we stay together and make our own,” Thane said. “Form a strong… Link, as it were.”

“I can roll with that, but first, there’s some things you should know. One: I like my personal space, so don’t get too close to me. If you so much as touch me… well, you’ve seen the result.”

Thane looked downwards at his new, very muscular torso. “Yeah… I don’t know how well that would work for you, but I’ll do my best to respect that.”

“I’d appreciate that.” Link glanced around him. “While we’re here, we may as well raid this place for stuff we might need.”

Thane took his backpack off, taking stock of what space he had. “I can fit some stuff in here,” he finally determined.

“I’m down for that,” came Ian's voice, as he managed to finally get the penny out into the open. With a little effort, he succeeded in flipping it onto his upturned forehoof, then clumsily transferred it to one of his shorts pockets. “Imma go see if they have a Toys section, then maybe grab a bike. Fuck walking like this for the rest of my life.” he then grabbed his backpack and slowly began making his way along the main aisle.

“You have fun with that. I’m gonna need to borrow Thane for a few minutes,” Link replied. He then looked to the minotaur. “I’ve got a request. And I’m only asking this ‘cause it’ll be difficult to do on my own.”

Thane nodded, “What do you need?”

“Your opposable thumbs. I won’t be able to put a backpack on myself, let alone put stuff in it.”

The minotaur nodded, looking around the mostly deserted store, “Well, let’s start looking for a good one.” Thane said, lumbering off into the store.

Link followed, staying a set distance away from the minotaur’s side. “Nothing flashy, nothing bright. Several large pockets and no chest clip.” He looked at Thane. “I’m picky, so what?”

Thane shrugged, “It’s your backpack, as long as it doesn’t take too long I don’t really care which one it is. I’d only recommend space, but you already covered that.”

The two of them wandered the store and stopped by the backpack section. After careful consideration, Link chose one he thought would fit just fine. “Now here’s where you come in.”

His massive companion nodded, carefully helping Link into the backpack like he had Ian, “Your wings look less fragile than his do.” Thane remarked.

“He’s got wings, too, huh...” Link asked. “I thought I saw something, but I wasn’t sure.”

Thane nodded, “Yeah, they almost look like gossamer, but also similar to a dragonfly’s.”

“Sounds cool,” Link admitted, shifting the backpack. “Anyway, with this, I should be able to carry my own weight. Food and tools and such like that.”

The minotaur looked over his handiwork. “Fits well?” he asked. “No chafing?”

“Fits just fine. For now at least. Might be hard to balance with a narrow back like mine.” Link extended his wings slowly. “These two should help with that.”

Thane nodded, “We might have to figure out a more stable solution, like a saddle bag style thing.”

“Hey, if your leatherworker level is high enough, feel free to try and fit me with something like that.”

The minotaur snorted, “I’d rather level heavy armor, or two handed weapons right now,” he said. “Ok, food is important, but what else could we use?”

Link began listing things off, as if he’d had to do this before. “Rope, blades, wrench and ratchet sets, stuff like that. The rope I’ll need to carry outside the pack. Around my neck and leg, I guess?”

Thane nodded, thinking of other things, “Duct tape, at the very least as well, maybe make a makeshift sheath to hold a bigger weapon.”

“I’m a bit too restricted in my weapon use,” Link agreed. “What could I even use as one?”

Thane thought about that for a minute. “Maybe some kind of makeshift horseshoe?” he suggested. “Add an extra oomph to your kicks?”

“You got kicks right. 3 times stronger than any punch I’ve thrown.” Link laughed a little. “The nails might hurt though…”

“I’m thinking more human shoe like,” Thane offered, “that ties into your hooves somehow. And extra strength is right, I punched a hole through the wall of my room from stretching.”

“Must have been one hell of a stretch. I accidentally put my heel through a third party game system.”

“Ooh,” said Thane, wincing slightly, “that sounds like a fun experience.”

“Not particularly. I had a friend over at the time.” Link flicked an ear, then sat down carefully. “And if you want to hear it, it starts with-”

~~~~
Ian:

I was not too happy with my new locomotive arrangement, to say the least. Actually, I hated everything about this new body, except maybe the wings, but my extremities were the main problem at the moment. In theory, four legs were more stable than two, but… in practice? Not so much. Especially on someone like me, who had been using a two-legged setup for a good twenty years of his life. Then again, they were also in motion, but that's beside the point.

Not to mention all the holes in my limbs, which were another part of my tripping problem: some parts kept getting caught on other bits, and I was pretty sure the holes themselves compromised the overall structural integrity of my various appendages. And that's discounting the whole “covered in chitin” issue...

As I picked myself up from another near-faceplant, and my thin tongue started worrying at the fangs running along the roof of my mouth, I began contemplating the parade of problems that my life had become ‘til now. All because of one little bone-headed move… The only thing I'd said to the others about the issue was that I had quit my job at Walmart for personal reasons, which had allowed me to make this trip, and hunt for better prospects in a new location. The fact that it brought me geographically closer to what had been my dream job of the last several years was a bonus.

Stupid customer, getting all uppity and crossing a line he shouldn't have about my personal life… I thought, not that it excused my reaction to his intrusion in any way, shape, or form. It had surprised me more than anyone, to be honest, but the whole situation had been fucked up to begin with. And then, on top of it all, for my immediate family to go and--

I tripped and almost faceplanted again, this time in front of the bike rack. Apparently my phone had had enough of my shenanigans, because it decided to jump ship and go flying out of its pocket, though I was fortunate that the case prevented it from sustaining any damage. It was accompanied by the stylus. Maybe this was a sign from some god or another, or even reality itself, that I should check in with my family? My sister, at least.

Kayleigh had seemed the least hateful towards me after all that, and with it being sometime after 4 a.m. over there, she’d most likely be up in a couple hours’ time to go to school. Assuming that what had happened here in Scunthorpe hadn’t also occurred in America, that is. Even so, I owed her one, despite my feelings not being too far above “bitter” with regards to her.

I carefully turned on my phone, earning the usual complaint of “DROOOOID…!” before navigating to the Messenger app and orchestrating a quick text to my li’l sis. I had to hold the stylus in my mouth to edit after I finished with the speech-to-text function, which was demeaning, but at least I was able to get it done. It also didn't help that my voice had this echo-y buzz to it now.

I’m sorry, I'm sorry, a thousand times I'm sorry. If I haven't already started another fight by now, then the 'rents will probably be at it again soon enough, and you'll probably be swept into it as collateral, and I am once again sorry for that. (Whoop-de-fukkin’-do for them though, because I'm finally outta their hair.)

I’m in Scunthorpe, if anyone cares, and something's gone down here. Something crazy, and disturbing. I woke up, and I wasn't human anymore. Neither is Thane or Link. We think everyone else is just gone. Vanished. Like, poof.

Come find me if you guys think you can, or if you even want to. I don't care anymore. I’m just sorry your last image of me was fighting with Mom and Dad. I’d send you a picture, but I doubt you’d even recognize my face now.

Goodbye, Bird, probably forever. This is Stormchaser, signing off for what may well be the final time.

I hope you’re ok. I’ll miss you.

I hit send, then closed the app. I still had a “missed call” notification to deal with though, and to my shock, it was from a number that I could identify: Luke, the guy that'd arranged this whole trip in the first place! That glorious bastard...!

Stuffing the phone and stylus back in my pocket, I wrestled a kid's bike off the racks, then made my awkward, wobbly way back towards where I'd last seen Link and Thane. Passing by the various toy aisles as I went, my heart and mind grew heavy with sorrow. When I saw the legos, I almost broke into tears. This whole scenario, and everything leading up to it, finally came crashing down on me.

My life had gone to hell in a handbasket, my hopes and dreams mercilessly dashed against the incomprehensible cliffs of Reality by the mercurial waves of Fate. I was some sort of mutant miniature horse thing, reduced to using a little girl’s bike to get around because I couldn't even fucking walk anymore, with nothing to my name but the contents of the backpack on my chest, the luggage container I'd left with Thane, and the few paltry items in my shorts.

I’d obviously left my sanity and grasp of reality back at home when I skipped town, though, and I was starting to suspect someone had nicked my sense of self-worth somewhere in between. Nonetheless, I had friends to attend to, so I pedaled onwards with my stubby, bell-bottomed, hole-filled legs, and tried not to fall over.

Again.

~~~~
“Needless to say, I was down a game system, hand-held as it was.” Link finished his story and stood upright, stretching his legs and … forelegs. He let out a slow yawn, expressing his restlessness.

Thane nodded his massive head. “I see. Good thing you had a spare then…”

“I don’t even remember how I got them, either. But none of that matters now. Now that I’ve got a backpack, let’s go see where the stuff is to fill it.” Link began walking toward the hardware section. “Back in my Wal-Mart, we had rope in the hardware section. Strong enough to hold even you. Hopefully…”

Another nod, “Where was the duct tape?”

“Same place. Few rows away though…” Almost a year working the aisles of Wal-Mart had left a wondrous impression of where things were for the previous employee.

“Duct tape is one of the most useful things on this earth.” Thane said.

“Sure is. Once patched up a wireframe for my window many years ag-AAH!” Link was interrupted by nearly falling forward.

Thane was quick to grab a strap of his backpack to stop him from faceplanting. “How hard is that?” He asked.

“Walking?” Link asked. “Very hard. Not that you’d know, still being bipedal.” He righted himself and tried stepping again.

All conversation came to a minor halt as they both heard something coming towards them from a few aisles over. It wasn't the somewhat familiar sound of a four-legged creature. Instead, it was more of a rattly, dragging sound. But, in some way, it was familiar nonetheless.

Thane turned to the sound. “Is that a… bike?” he questioned.

“Sounds like it…” Link’s ears twitched at the growing sound of wheels turning and chain moving. “Might need WD-40 too.”

After another moment, the source of the noise came around the corner, revealing itself to be Ian on a girl's bike, which was making more noise than one normally expected a bike of that size to make. The first words out of Ian’s mouth when he saw them were: “Don't judge me, guys. This was the only one that fit me.”

“HAHAHA!” The black pegasus busted out laughing. “Ohh, I’m totally judging you! That’s a little girl’s bike! With … Training wheels?!” He fell to the floor in uncontrollable laugter.

“Yeah, well, I'm still getting used to this new body, so it helps. it's not fun being short again.” Ian glowered at Link, then muttered quietly to himself: “at least I’m slightly taller than you when I'm standing.”

Thane looked at the bike dubiously. “Were there no bikes that were more… masculine?” he asked. “Just pink with rainbows on it?”

“I just said, this is the only one that fit!” Ian nearly yelled. “Not to mention the fact that this is a bitch to turn with these mangled hands of mine…”

Link got to his feet… hooves, again and calmed himself. “Alright, first off. Little girl’s bike. Second, your hands are not hands. They are hooves. Er, mostly hooves. Looks like you’re missing some parts.”

Ian deadpanned. “Seriously, gimme crap about the bike again, and I'll run you over. And I'm pretty sure these are still kinda hands. They’ve got, like, palms to them, which are really fucking sensitive, let me tell you. Not to mention, I can still sort of feel my fingers…”

“If a car parks on a notecard, is it a paperweight? Using hooves as hands don’t make them such.” Link formed a frown over his face. “No really. Serious question.”

Ian rolled his eyes. “Well… I… dammit, it's not that I'm using them like hands, it’s that they still feel like hands. Also, I… I just refuse to refer to them like that. They’re my hands, arms, whatever. I’ll call them what I want.”

“Him?” Link pointed up at Thane’s arms with his foreleg. “Those are hands, arms, and fingers.” Then, he pointed to Ian’s perforated legs. “Those are not. Very clear distinction.” He set his hoof down and grinned.

The darker, chitinous figure sighed and shook his head sadly. “You just… you just don't get it… this is a matter of sanity for me.” He held up a foreleg, staring deliberately and defiantly at it. His next words took on a softer tone, but were dangerous nonetheless. “If I don’t hold my resolve, if I call them ‘legs’, or… whatever… even to myself... that'll be admitting defeat. I’ll be admitting that I've been physically reduced to nothing more than some animal. And a deformed one at that.” Ian looked up and pinned Link with another glare, this time with more intensity than before. “And who’s to say our minds aren't going to follow suit at some point?”

Link also sighed. He thought for a moment, looking at the bike. “There isn’t any say. This is what we are now. I’m willing to accept that. Hooves, legs… Mane and tail. All of it. If my sanity, corrupt as it is, decides to devolve with the rest of me, I can live with that too.” He returned his gaze and narrowed it. “But, let me ask you this: Are you willing to do nothing until you get to that point? Or are you going to make the most of it?”

The armored being broke eye contact, looking away as he spoke. “How... how could you just assume that I'd do nothing? I fully intend to find a way to reverse this, as impossible as that sounds. You may be fine with devolving into some mythological bird-brained horse, and Thane may be fine running around until he finds the nearest hedge maze, but until I find out what I am, I won't let it happen to me. I don't want to turn into some mindless killing machine straight out of Alien.”

“... You feel any better? Got it all out?” Link asked.

“No…” Came the soft reply. “You don't know the half of it. I’m tired, and recently there’s been this sort of… oh, forget it. let’s just go.”

“No no, you brought it up. Finish it,” he replied. “With conviction. No regrets as they say.”

“That's a topic for another time. Are we going to stand around all day and chat, or are we actually going to get some shit done?” asked the dark rider. “This isn't Red vs Blue.”

Thane nodded. “We need to find Luke, then decide on what to do next,” he said. “But before we do…” He walked outside, and Link followed closely, curious as to where he’d be going in the middle of shopping. Ian had no recourse but to tag along as well, for fear of being left behind.

Thane spied a stop sign in the sidewalk. Walking to it, he gripped the middle of it with his hands and pulled as hard as he could. For a moment, nothing happened, but soon enough, the pavement at the bottom began to crack, and eventually it ripped out, a small chunk of concrete sticking to the bottom of the metal pole.

“If you smack that against an Agent’s body, the cement will shatter. Also… I’m not sure whether to call you Neo, or Shizuo Heiwajima.” Commented Link.

Ian placed a forehoof to his forehead. “Wow, ok, can we stop being meta here?” he asked, sarcastically. “I know I do references like that too, but… ah, whatever. Oh, I meant to tell you guys, Luke's still around somewhere. He was the one that called me earlier.”

Thane smirked, holding the sign with two hands, “Well, let’s go find him then, shall we?”

There was a sigh, then Ian spoke again. “Alright, Mr. Badass, that was fun, but weren't we about to go looting useful shit or something? I mean, I'm pretty sure I saw some wagons back in toys, but don't quote me on that.”

Thane nodded, placing his new axe against the wall. “Ah, my mistake. I’ll just have to grab this before we head out.” he said, following the two back inside.

Once inside, Link looked around. “If you want to help him hook up a wagon to his bike, I guess I can get my own stuff from the shelves.” Link parted ways with them and headed back to his previous department.

The smaller of the remaining duo looked up into the face of the first being he'd met in this newly-arranged shithole. “I'm not sure I could pull everything on this tiny bike, but we could try… also, I need to paint it black or something, because I feel ridiculous for riding it now.”

“So, we're looking for a wagon, anything else?” Thane asked.

And with that, the pair of former humans moved off towards the toys section.

~~~~
Link:

I parted ways with Bug Ian and Minotaur Thane, since they had their own thing going on. Without the latter’s help, getting some of the tools was harder than I hoped. On my way to the section, I began mumbling to myself.

“What a fine mess you’re in, huh? Horse body… no hands, no fingers…” I dragged my hooves along the ground as I walked. “Still have to pick up my hooves when I walk.”

In the hardware area, I decided not to go for rope first, and instead gather tools. Not being able to remove my backpack made getting them inside a challenge. One I had no intention of undertaking. I had found the outside garbage cans mostly used for trash and knocked one over, creating a small racket as the lid and body separated.

“I can use this,” I said to myself. One kick at a time, I moved it back to the tools. With the lid being rounded, it could hold stuff. My new problem was moving it once full.

Standard wrenches, metric wrenches, screwdriver set, 3 rolls of duct tape, 2 crescent wrenches, several box knives and an exponential amount of replacement blades. After the tape, I found it easier on me to bring the later stuff to the lid. Didn’t know how to open the box knives so I could cut a length of twine. Which I’d have used to pull the lid behind me. Somehow.

“Well, you’ve got it. What now?” I asked. “I have all I need for now… but it’s… hmm…” I walked behind the lid and stepped in with my forelegs. It didn’t move, until I started using my hindlegs to walk. My own weight kept it down, and ahead of me as I walked, er, pushed, it through the store to the toys section in search of Ian and Thane. “Guys?” I asked, “I got some stuff.”

~~~~
As Link came around to where Ian and Thane were, he was treated to the sight of them both in the process of finishing up a wagon. A second, completed one sat nearby, ready to roll.

They both looked up as he approached. “Oh, good,” said Ian, distractedly, “chuck it in the other wagon, next to my stuff. Also, they sell jump-ropes here, so we could use those for tying stuff.” He then returned his attention to the instruction booklet.

“I would, bug boy, but I think I’d rather carry my own. Besides, I don’t want you to have to haul everything, even though you’re the one pulling a wagon. I’d feel bad. Kinda.” Link looked over to the minotaur. “When you got a minute, think you could fit these into my pack? If it gets too heavy, I’ll let you know.”

Ian quietly muttered something to himself that might have been “horsefeathers,” which thankfully went unnoticed.

The minotaur nodded as he knelt down to help Link get his things into his pack. “So, game plan once we're out of here: Grab my axe, find anyone else here, hopefully Luke. Then what?”

“I dunno,” said Ian, distractedly, “look for survival manuals, or online guides. Try to survive as long as we can. Thane, that piece goes over there, by the way. Oh, and maybe we can grab a few games, because it’ll get boring with just our little group to bounce ideas off of all day.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Link asked the other two. “Games are fine and all, but while we’re walking? I don’t feel like carrying a game board over my back.” He attempted to put the two pack of tape into his front pocket with just his hooves. In a few tries, he succeeded. “There’s always the road games we all played as kids, if you’re that desperate.”

“Dude,” interjected Ian, “I was talking about for when we find a place to take over, like a house. Or, well, if. If is good. Also, we won't be flat-walkin’: I was thinking we’d be taking a dramatic ride-drive. Assuming you still have the keys for the rental, that is. And, unless we're grabbing one of those giant plastic cars, which would be fun to mod, I... think we’re done here.” With that, he shoved the thin paper booklet off under the deckplate of a nearby shelf. “How 'bout you guys?”

Thane nodded. “I've got to grab my axe, but that's it.”

“Alright,” Ian agreed, “but is it really an axe if it's not sharpened? Oh, and speaking of that: if they have a garden center, I'd like to swing by that and maybe grab a lawn mower blade… because reasons. I mean, it is good steel.”

Another nod from Thane. “You could make a decent sword or machete out of one of those. Nothing close to the Murasama, but still.”

“If I’m getting a sword, It’s not gonna be second-rate Murasame. It’ll be the greater, Masamune. The really long one used by Sephiroth!” Link exclaimed. “But… such things are out of reach now…” He sighed and hung his head a little.

Ian’s eyelid twitched a bit, and his ears drooped slightly, as he tried and failed to parse this latest exchange. “Uh… I was just going to go for something functional that I could, I don't know, hold in my mouth. Or maybe strap a couple onto my wrists, if I'm feeling crazy.” He turned to Link. “Besides, it would be cooler if you got something like a bow. Then we could roleplay as Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn. Oh, who am I kidding… we’re two mini-horses and a Minotaur, alone against a now-empty planet that the rest of our missing race screwed up. We’re fucked.” His head dropped nearly all the way to the floor and hung there for a bit. “Let's just… let's just go, alright?” Ian finally said, dejectedly. “Maybe grab some food, but... yeah. Find Luke...”

Thane nodded. “I was going to bring up that I meant the Murasama from Metal Gear Rising, but I can do that later.” He looked at the other two before continuing. “If you need anything else, go get it, otherwise I'm good.”

“Me too,” agreed Ian, “I can grab my stuff on the way. So, unless Link needs something else last minute, let’s roll out.” He tried to strike a dramatic pose, one foreleg in the air, but only managed to fall over again. “D’arvit! Let's just go…”

Link looked at his friend and chuckled. “Messed that one up, but I agree. I’ve nothing left- Wait! The keys to the vehicle.”

Nodding, Ian made sure one of the wagons was at least passably attached to his bike, then hopped on and got ready to follow Link.

Carefully but quickly, Link walked to where his pants were rejected on the floor. He rummaged through the pockets with his mouth, only because his hoof wouldn’t fit where he kept his keys. Link turned his neck and tossed the keys into the wagon pulled by his bug friend Ian. After he looked around, he put a couple bags of apples in the cart. “I’ll get hungry on the road.”

“Yeah,” Ian agreed, “we are part horse now, and I know they like apples.”

“I’d prefer an orange if we can get one.” Thane offered, looking around for some.

“And maybe sugar.” Ian quipped “And salt. I think horses like that, too… oh, fuck, what if I have to eat grass now?”

Thane shrugged, “Well, if we have equine and bovine physiologies, then we should be able to, and possibly enjoy it. You don’t like it, then don’t eat it.”

“So says the milk tank…” Ian grumbled in response, with a slight smile.

“Heh, Miltank. It’s a pokemon.” Link said quietly to himself.

Thane glared at Ian, “I think I’m the wrong gender for that. Unless you’re thinking a bit lower.” He said, a small smirk adorning his face as he did so.

Ian closed his eyes in exasperation, and took a deep breath. “You just had to make it weird, didn't you…”

Thane shrugged, “My sense of humor is weird.”

After picking up the aforementioned oranges and some Granny Smith apples,they kept going, momentarily stopping to grab Ian a Lawnmower blade. Soon, they had reached the front doors, and proceeded to set of the alarm as they left. Ian, however, took the opportunity to kick one of the security devices over.

“Not that I ever stole anything before,” Ian explained as Link led them through the parking lot, “because it’s wrong, but those things were getting on my nerves. Definitely too loud.”

“Yeah, I was gonna say,” Thane said, grabbing his Stop-Axe on the way out. “Gonna enjoy some public vandalism while you can?”

Ian rolled his eyes. “Nah, man, I'd probably just piss on a garden gnome or something, given my current state.” He trailed off into silence, his gaze focused on the ground.

“Think I’ll refrain too,” Link agreed. “Integrity and all that. Still, I would like to know exactly why the world kept us and Houdini’d everyone else…”

“We’ll figure it out.” Thane said confidently.

“We better,” came the inevitable reply, as they reached the car. “Shotgun, by the way.”

“I always forget to call it… Oh well… I like the back seat anyway.” Link looked into the window and saw everything was how he left it.

“Now… who’s driving this thing?” Ian asked, looking between the minotaur and winged horse.

Thane raised his hand. “Probably myself. Being the only one with hands.” He said, “I’ll warn you, I haven’t driven for long, but I can drive well enough.”

“True,” Ian said, as he waited for Thane to open the passenger door for both himself and Link. “Also, I have no previous experience with driving. But… won't you be cramped in that tiny seat? You know, with your tiny legs and ginormous horns?”

Thane looked over the car. “Can you hand me that lawn mower blade?”

“Uh… sure.” Ian acquiesced hesitantly, clamping the indicated bit of metal between his forehooves as he gave it to his overlarge friend. “What’re you gonna--”

Quickly, Link retreated a few good feet, almost scared of a deadly weapon.

Thane grabbed the blade and stabbed it into the roof, digging straight through. Using brute strength, he managed to dig through the roof and tear it off. “Might be a bit snug, but I can drive like this.” He handed the blade back to Ian, who was dumbstruck.

“...You know there was a sunroof on that…” the chitinous figure said, slowly. “Also, you scare me sometimes.”

Thane shrugged, “I’m a minotaur. I have big muscly arms. Lots of strength that I must use.”

“That ain’t all natural, though...” Ian replied, as Thane carefully opened what was left of the back door. “I’ve seen bodybuilders bigger than you who probably couldn't have done that. Something's up, here.”

Thane shrugged again. “I’m also a mythological creature. Natural for them, maybe.”

“Oh, so you're saying I'm suddenly going to start shooting sparks from this spike on my face?” Ian asked, as he assisted Thane and Link in stowing their new stuff. “Or Link’s going to leap into the air, and start flying around like a hummingbird? Like that’ll happen.”

Link retrieved the keys from Ian’s wagon before they got lost in the multitude of stuff already being moved. “Besides, hummingbirds can hover and fly backward. Outside of Hercules, I’ve never seen another bird do that. Let alone a pegasus. Hovering? Likely. Backward? Now, you’re pushing it.” With his backpack off of him, he tucked the keys under his right wing, and waited for either of the other two to notice.

Thane shrugged, trying to get himself into the driver's seat. “Thank god this thing is an automatic.”

“I can’t drive a stick,” Link confessed.

“Yeah, thank God for small miracles.”

Thane opened the glove box carefully, looking around for the keys unsuccessfully, before doing the same on the visor to the same result. “Got an answer for the seeming lack of keys?”

“Uh, I thought Link had them,” Ian replied.

“Nope. I gave them to your red wagon. Did you see me take them back?” Link asked, raising an eyebrow from the middle row of seats.

“Oh, uh, no. No, I didn't,” Ian replied.

“Because I totally did.” Link unfurled his wing and dropped the keys on the seat, their jingle plainly heard. “Here,” he said, tossing them up to Thane with his mouth.

“Now, where to?” Ian asked. “Town square?”

Thane nodded, placing his axe in the backseat. “Best place to look, hopefully,” he said, turning the keys and starting the engine.

“Yeah, and if we don't find anyone,” Ian began, “we can decide where to go from there.”

Thane nodded, putting the car in drive. “Someone’s gonna have to give me directions. I’ve been in this city for a grand total of about twelve hours.”

Author's Note

Nova:

seriously though, chapters will probably take awhile to be written out, seeing as we're not only having to collaborate from two different countries, but multiple time zones and varying work shifts.