Best Worst Power

by Jay David

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1347

Twilight and her friends discuss what would be a good "bad" power

It is commonly known that there are many strange and wondrous powers in the world of Equestria. The power to fly, to govern the weather, to transform life itself. But, amidst a discussion of such powers, Twilight and her friends eventually arrive at a very important question.

What would be a good bad power?

Published 2016-09-02 20:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-02 20:20:02 UTC

Best Worst Power

It was an image that was typical of the notion of calm and peaceful afternoons; Twilight and her friends, all gathered around the cutie map, all sipping tea. The time here was pleasant, as evidenced by the smiles they all wore, but, the silence that hung around did not last forever, as Rainbow, in her typical Rainbow fashion, was the first to speak up.

"So, Twi...how's that new spell of yours?"

Twilight's face lit up, and after putting her cup down, she gave her answer.

"It's going very well, Rainbow. I still have a few calculations to go, but if it works, my spell should be able to conjure up entire pads of paper in the blink of an eye!"

Giggling, she clapped her hooves together.

"It's going to save me so much money on stationary!"

Naturally, the Princess of Friendship was oblivious to the rolling eyes her friends were giving her after hearing that. But, it was soon Spike's turn to add his voice to things.

"You know...I never stop to think about it all that much, but...there never seems to be any real limit to what magic can do."

Looking over to him, Applejack gave a nod.

"Ah hear ya, Spike. From flyin ta makin...paper...the stuff just does wonders."

There was a round of agreeing nods to that, shared by all mares, except, surprisingly, Rainbow.

"Yeah, it's cool and all. But I'll bet there's plenty of stuff that isn't so hot about magic."

As one would expect, Twilight took umbrage at that.

"Rainbow! Magic is the very foundation of our world! It's the reason we ponies have mastery over our lands! Why would you doubt it?"

Here, the cyan pegasus leaned forward, putting her tea cup aside before responding.

"Don't get me wrong. I know it does some pretty awesome stuff. But if magic can, as we've said, do anything, then that means it can probably do some...well...kinda lame stuff."

Twilight scoffed.

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

Rainbow paused, thinking that question over for a few moments, before looking to her lavender friend with a smirk.

"Well...what about...the power to teleport...but only one step forward?"

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

"...What?"

But, before she could say anything else, Rainbow's ears perked up, and she added something extra to her prior statement.

"Ooh! And you have to wait five minutes before teleporting again!"

Twilight, naturally, was incredulous to this.

"That...that's so impractical though!"

Rainbow pointed an accusing hoof at her.

"Hey! Can magic do that kind of thing...or not?!"

The young Princess suddenly found the eyes of all of her friends upon her, and while she stumbled for a bit, she eventually let out a long sigh.

"Well...okay...I suppose magic might have some rather...unimpressive applications."

Leaning back into her chair, Rainbow folded her hooves and gained a victorious smirk.

"Told ya."

Of course, most weren't going to let her get off that easy.

"Hey, come on, Dashie! There's way sillier stuff that magic might do!" Pinkie remarked.

Twilight grimaced.

"Oh no, Pinkie! Not you too!"

Rainbow looked to her pink friend and smiled.

"Oh yeah? Go ahead, Pinks."

The party mare thought long and hard about this, before ultimately breaking out into a massive grin.

"Ooh! Ooh! How about...the power to summon...a paperclip!"

For a while, everypony stared at her, and she smiled to each and every one of them, before, in the end, just explaining things herself.

"Think about it! Going to all the trouble you'd go to when summoning a demon and stuff..."

"Why would we summon a demon?" Twilight interrupted.

"...but for something small that you could buy in bulk at...like...anywhere?"

Applejack pondered this for a moment before nodding.

"The gal's got a point, Twi. That would be pretty silly fer magic ta do."

Twilight turned to her farmer friend and narrowed her eyes.

"Let me guess...you have an idea on some useless power too?"

Applejack chuckled to this.

"Well...ah don't mean ta brag, but..."

She glanced around, seeing the expectant look on everypony's faces, before giving her suggestions.

"Okay. How about bein able ta see through walls...but only when the stuff happenin on the other side is somethin y'all don't wanna see?"

The group pondered that.

"Hmmm...that would be a rather terrible power," Rarity remarked.

But, it wasn't long before the fashionista began to gain a smirk of her own.

"Although...if you wanted a really foolish ability, then what about being able to lift objects with your mind...which is then limited to objects weighing five grams or less?"

Applejack let out a hearty laugh.

"What?! Heck, an ant would have no trouble liftin that!"

Rarity swept aside some of her mane.

"Yes, I did think it was a rather good one. Or, well, bad one."

Giggles were abound around the table after that statement, with the obvious exception of Twilight, who was still seething over this notion. Spike noticed this, however, and smiled to her.

"Come on, Twilight. This is all just for fun."

The alicorn gave him a glance, letting out a sigh.

"Okay...I guess it can't really hurt."

Then, soon afterwards, she offered her assistant a knowing smile.

"I'm guessing you have an idea, Spike?"

A look of pride crossed his face.

"As a matter of fact, I do. Imagine this. Being able to see into the future...after the future stuff has happened."

Twilight thought on that for a moment before raising an eyebrow.

"But...wouldn't that just be looking into the past then?"

Spike paused, taking in her words, before then starting to look a little deflated.

"...Ah."

Giggling, Twilight gave him a reassuring pat on the head, and shortly afterwards, looked over to the rest of her companions, who were still deliberating amongst themselves.

"I'm telling you, AJ, the power to only be able to grow crops when the weather's really bad would be a great terrible power!" Rainbow declared.

Applejack frowned.

"And ah'm tellin y'all that bein able ta communicate with slug pellets is way more useless!"

Twilight shook her head, only to then notice that one pony in particular had been silent this entire time. Naturally, it was Fluttershy, who, like her, had simply been looking from one pony to the next during the deliberations.

"What would you suggest, Fluttershy?" Twilight asked.

Immediately, all eyes were on the quiet-spoken mare, and while taken aback by this, she quickly regained some composure.

"Oh! Um...well...I've never really thought about it much."

Rainbow let out one of her customary cackles.

"Don't stress it, Flutters! Just pick some random, useless power."

Fluttershy looked down at her tea, staring at it for a good long while as she pondered that exact notion. And after a full minute, she looked up, bearing a small smile.

"Um...being able to fly...backwards?"

Smiling wider, Rainbow reached forward, giving her a pat on the shoulder.

"There we go! And yeah, that would be super sucky to have to do that."

Fluttershy giggled to this, giving her friend an appreciative smile. But, she was kept from saying anything further as Pinkie then spoke up once more.

"Ooh! How about...being able to make flowers bloom...but only when the moon is full, and you've just eaten a dozen other flowers, while standing on your head, singing "she'll be coming round the mountain" and then doing an impression of a chicken with a cold?"

Twilight sighed to this.

"Pinkie...I think there can be such a thing as being too silly."

To that, the party mare looked to her with utter horror.

"Too silly?!"

Then, she narrowed her eyes.

"Never!"

Though taken aback, Twilight soon just shook her head to her friend's antics. Afterwards, she was distracted when Spike poked her in the side, gaining her attention.

"So...are you gonna come up with any good bad powers, Twilight?"

Smiling still, Twilight shook her head.

"Thanks for the offer, Spike...but I think I'll just sit back and watch this whole thing play out."

Thinking on that, Spike gained a smile of his own, grabbing hold of his tea before hopping back onto his throne and taking a sip.

"Works for me."