Oncoming Storm: Surface Tension

by Chengar Qordath

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Adventure, Equestria Girls, Blossomforth, Drama, Cloudkicker, Rainbow Dash (EqG), Sparkler
Length: 13611

Cloud Kicker and Rainbow Dash have been having some rather awkward problems lately, but when one of their friends is in trouble they'll have to put those issues aside to help her out. Assuming they can.

Things between Cloud Kicker and Rainbow Dash have been ... weird. High school is a place where weirdness is practically the norm, especially as they transition into that teenagery weirdness that comes with—well, high school and teenagers: hormones, emotions, and the inevitable resulting confusion.

However, Canterlot High School has its own magical mysteries that leaves the two little time to consider their newfound weirdness. When they get word that someone close to them might be in trouble, the trail of clues leads them into a confrontation with a threat they're not remotely prepared to face. But if what doesn’t kill them makes them stronger, then maybe a little life-and-death peril is just what they need to sort things out.

Published 2016-08-31 08:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-31 08:40:02 UTC

Ranges and Ribbings (Not like that, Kicker)

Going out to a shooting range probably isn’t most people’s idea of a good way to impress a girl you like. Blame it on the fact that I’m a military brat.

Well, that wasn’t the only reason. I had also taken who I was hanging out with into account. “So what do you think, Dash? Pretty cool?”

Rainbow stared at the guns my parents were getting ready with open curiosity, but then tried to suppress her eager grin and play it cool. “Yeah, it’s alright. Thanks for the invite, Cloud.” Considering some of the movies she’d dragged me to in the past, it had seemed reasonable that she might like to see the real thing. Hopefully she wouldn’t be too disappointed by the lack of aliens to shoot and random explosions everywhere. Or, considering some of the crazy stuff she’d been involved with, the lack of magical rainbow lasers. I’m just not sure guns are as cool as weird friendship powers.

I really wasn’t sure what to make of the fact that weird magical monsters had started showing up at school, much less that Rainbow and her friends blasted them with their own magic. Which they now somehow had. I know high school is supposed to be weird, but I’d never thought it would be that weird.

Well, if Rainbow had the Magic of Friendship, I’d have to content myself with the magic of superior firepower. Once we had everything set up and safe, I took one of our bolt-action rifles and quickly knocked down several targets. Once I’d emptied the mag, I shot a look Rainbow’s way, hoping for a compliment while trying to avoid making it too obvious I was fishing for praise. Gah, things between us had been awkward ever since...

Rainbow nodded approvingly, but her feet shuffled across the ground. “That's pretty cool. I mean, being a straight shooter isn't easy. Shooting a gun I mean, and not being straight with people. Not that that isn't hard too but ... yeah ... straight.”

“I think I get it.” I had no idea what she was talking about. However, I definitely thought things were way weirder and more awkward than I’d planned. “So ... wanna give it a shot?”

Rainbow’s awkwardness fell away in an instant, and she reached out for the rifle with an eager grin. “Sure!” I was just about to pass it to her when she hesitated for a moment. “Er, as long as your folks are okay with that. No point bothering them with ... stuff. Or whatever.”

“Oh.” I shot a glance at Mom and Dad. “I don’t think they’d mind. I mean, the whole reason we brought you out here was to show you our guns and let you play around with them.” I grimaced and quickly corrected myself. “Well, not playing, because guns aren’t toys and you should never treat them like that. But ... uh...”

“I get it, Kicker,” Rainbow assured me. “Fun, but take the safety stuff seriously.”

“Exactly.” Dad cut in, walking over with an extra set of safety glasses and earplugs for Rainbow. “And since we’re taking safety seriously, let’s review the rules.”

I groaned and rolled my eyes. Parents. “I told Rainbow everything she needs to know before we got here, Dad. It was the first thing we talked about once she agreed to come.”

Rainbow nodded along, backing me up. “Yeah, s'cool Mr. Kicker. Don't point it at anything you don't want to shoot, don't be an idiot, don’t scr—er, mess around with them...”

Dad frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. “I'll ease up when you can recite the rules from memory.” He counted them off on his fingers. “One: treat every weapon like it's loaded, even when you know it isn't. Two: finger off the trigger until you're ready to shoot. Three: safety on until you're ready to shoot. Four: point the barrel at the ground until you're ready to shoot. Five: Safety gear stays on until you're done shooting. Got it?”

Ugh. Why was he being such a hardass with Rainbow? I was trying to make this fun for her! Didn’t he get that? He was gonna mess up everything! “Daaad! She's got it!”

“Uh, yeah.” Rainbow agreed, her eyes on the ground and her tone far more subdued than her usual peppy confidence. “I got it, sir.” I don’t think I’d ever heard Rainbow call someone ‘sir’ before, but the way her eyes kept nervously darting between Dad and me almost certainly meant ... well, something. Probably something related to the whole ... us ... thing.

There was a bit of awkward silence as Rainbow got her safety gear and earplugs on, and then I silently passed the rifle over. Rainbow slowly settled it into position, which surprised me a bit until I noticed her eyes occasionally flicking back up to Dad. She was definitely making a conscious effort to follow every single one of the safety rules. It probably was a lot more work for her to remember all that—it was all second nature to me, but I’d been learning this stuff since before I met Rainbow in middle school.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Rainbow squeezed off a shot. Considering it was her first time with a gun, she did pretty well. Solidly on-target. “Nice shooting, Rainbow.”

Rainbow shot me a cocky little grin. “Well yeah. What’d you expect?”

I chuckled and shook my head. Same old Rainbow. “Easy, hotshot, you’re not an expert sniper just ‘cause you hit the target on your first try. Let’s work on your stance a bit, recoil is gonna be throwing you off.” I stepped up to her and started helping her straighten her shoulders and get her legs a bit more solidly planted.

Then I remembered my parents were there. Watching. While I was touching Rainbow. I took a hasty step back from her, and I could feel my cheeks warming up. “Um ... that should be fine.”

Rainbow was blushing too, and her voice came out hard and snappish. “I—I got it Cloud!” She hastily brought the rifle back up and snapped off another shot without taking the time to aim properly. When the bullet didn’t even come close to hitting, Dash let out a frustrated grumble, staring down at the rifle as it it had betrayed her.

I flinched sympathetically, but I wasn’t sure what to do about it. Rainbow’s never exactly been graceful when it comes to ... well, anything less than being awesome. Any time she starts losing a game there’s a decent chance the power will mysteriously get cut off or the board will ‘accidentally’ get knocked over. Granted, the last time that kinda thing had happened was before ... er ... before.

Still, I was quite surprised when Rainbow did something she’d only done maybe twice in all the years I’d known her. “Kicker? Little help here?”

While I was a little tempted to tease her—it’s a rare day when Rainbow admits she needs help from anyone—I wisely put that urge aside. Rainbow’s usually pretty thick-skinned and can give as good as she gets, but her pride had just taken a hit, and that’s always been a bit of a sore point for her. “Right, try trying tucking the rear of the gun tighter against your shoulder. Like...” I started to reach out to help her, but froze when I remembered how weird it had gotten last time.

Rainbow frowned and adjusted her stance a bit. “Soooo you mean like this?”

I shook my head. “No move it a bit higher than that. No, not that high. Lower. No, now, it’s too low. And maybe a bit more to the side too?”

She let out a frustrated grumble. “Why don’t you just show me? It’s gonna take forever if you try to talk me through it.”

“Uh, right.” I tried to help her get the rifle in place without touching her too much. Which ... didn’t exactly work too well. When I took hold of her shoulder to help her get the rifle’s butt firmly in place she surprised me again, actually leaning into my touch. I managed to catch her eye for a moment, and we traded nervous smiles. After I got her settled my hands lingered on her for just a second longer than necessary. “So ... there you go.”

Rainbow grinned at me, then took the shot. She nailed the bullseye.

I beamed and slapped her on the back. “Nice one, Dash!” Now that she had a success under her belt, I figured it was safe to follow the praise up with, “Of course, that was probably just beginner’s luck. But still, nice shot. For a newbie.”

Rainbow answered me with a proud smirk. “Sounds like somebody’s jealous...” She snickered and poked me in the side. “I guess I can see that, when I’m just so much better than you are even though you’ve been practicing for years and this is my first time. Try not to take it too hard, Kicker. You’re good, but I'm the Captain of Everything.”

“Captain of Everything?” I repeated incredulously before grinning and playing along. “I thought you were just the Captain of Awesomeness.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “It's an all-inclusive title. Duh.”

I grinned and hip-bumped her. “Only everything that's awesome.” I tapped my chin thoughtfully. “Though really, who wants to be captain of things that aren't awesome? Being Captain of Everything means you’re the captain of lameness and uncoolness, too. Guess we could split the difference and say you’re the captain of everything that’s awesome.”

Rainbow grinned and playfully punched me in the shoulder. “Well, that goes without saying, dummy.”

She actually hadn’t hit hard at all, but I decided to be a drama queen about it, groaning in pain and grasping my shoulder. “So violent and abusive...”

“So whiny and wimpy,” Rainbow countered without missing a beat.

I probably would’ve tackled her and tried for a headlock or something if not for the fact that the shooting range really isn’t an appropriate place for horseplay. Not to mention that the last time we’d started wrestling was in the locker room after practice, and that had ended up with us kinda ... uh ... yeah.

Dad chuckled at our antics. “That’s good shooting, Rainbow. Think you’ve got enough of a handle on the basics to move up to something bigger?”

“Bring it on!” I knew what Rainbow’s answer would be before she had actually said it. Dad had worded the question too much like a challenge, and implying Rainbow couldn’t do something was just about guaranteed to make her try to do it.

Dad looked Rainbow over, then nodded to himself and opened up another rifle case. “Alright then, let’s move on. This one’s a classic—my father actually used a rifle just like this one while he was in the service. Smaller sights and more kick, but you did want to try out something a bit heavier.”

“Whoa...” Rainbow carefully accepted the new rifle, staring down at it. “I’ve seen these before! This is the rifle they used in Cyborg Zombie Werewolf VII!”

Dad stared at her, either trying to process how there could be a Cyborg Zombie Werewolf movie or baffled by the fact that there had been at least seven of them. Eight, actually. I would know, since Rainbow made me watch all of them. Cyborg Zombie Werewolf VIII involved the title character going to the moon and fighting alien lizard-men.

I decided to change the subject before Rainbow could start gushing about the movies. “Dad must like you if he's letting you use his M-1. It’s kind of a family heirloom. Though the real test would be if Mom lets you use her .45.”

Mom let out a short bark of laughter that made her opinion on the odds of that ever happening quite clear. I’d say Mom loves her pistol as if it were one of her children, but I think that would be overstating how much she cares about her children.

“I bet I could win her over,” Rainbow announced with a confident grin. “You like me, don’t you Mrs. Kicker?”

“Of course.” Mom slapped a mag into her favorite gun. “Small, fast-moving targets are far more rewarding to hit.”

Rainbow chuckled one hand nervously rubbing the back of her head. “That’s a joke, right? You’re just messing with me?”

“Feel free to keep thinking that,” Mom muttered, offering her a disarming smile before taking aim and emptying her gun into her target. Every shot was within half an inch of the bullseye.

Rainbow’s eyes darted over to me. “Uh, Cloud? Was your mom always this scar—er ... I mean, intense? Or is this a new thing?”

“This is kinda new,” I murmured.

Dad cleared his throat and shot a look Mom’s way. “I’m sure Nim likes you just fine, Rainbow. You and Cloud have been friends for a long time, after all.”

“Yup, that’s me and Cloud.” Rainbow took half a step closer to me. “We’ve been good old gal-pals since forever. We’re friends. Friendly friendly friends. Of friendship.” She took another step, practically pressing up against my side. “So ... er ... yeah. I’m cool, she’s cool, everything and everyone’s cool here. Right? Awesome.”

She glanced over at me, and a bit of her usual confidence came back. “‘Course, I’m way cooler than Cloud, but it’s not really fair to compare us.” I shot a playful frown her way and she quickly amended. “I was joking. It’s totally fair to compare us.” She smirked and hip-bumped me.

I chuckled, one arm easily settling around her back. “Yeah, 'course you are. Just be careful, or I might joke right back. I could always let you use that one shotgun Dad added the pistol grip to. Remember, Dad? The one Aunt Wind used that kicked so hard...”

Dad snickered and nodded. “I would’ve warned her about it, but then I remembered when she stole one of my G.I. Joes way back when we were kids. By the time I managed to get him back she’d ruined his kung fu grip. I loved that toy. Not to mention she kept calling it a doll instead of an action figure. So ... I forgot to warn her just how hard that gun kicked, and it wound up knocking her right off her feet.”

Rainbow grinned and nodded. “Ah. So that's where the brattiness in the family comes from.”

I grinned and slugged her in the arm. “You calling me a brat? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure I can kick your butt if you don’t take that back.” My eyes flicked to my parents, and I prudently amended, “After we leave the gun range, of course.”

Rainbow answered me with a confident smirk. “Bring it on, Cloud. But lemme show you just how awesome I am...” She slipped away from me and picked up the rifle, setting it against her shoulder and settling into a pretty good shooting stance. When she fired, she hit less than an inch away from the bullseye.

I gave her a brief round of applause. “Looks like you're a natural. Better watch out, or Mom and Dad might try recruiting you.”

“Pass,” Rainbow answered. “No offense, s’awesome what you guys do, but I’ve seen what Cloud has to handle in the Junior Cadets. The exercise is no big, but the rest of the package is ... thanks, but no thanks.” She grinned and carefully set the rifle aside. “But as far as my badass skills go ... well yeah, I tend to get what I aim for.” While the confident smile remained firmly in place on her face, I noticed her slowly rolling her shoulder, then trying to sneak a hand up to rub it without anyone noticing.

I stepped over to her and casually put an arm across her back, which just happened to leave my hand in a good position to rub her sore shoulder. “You okay?”

“No problem,” Rainbow answered, lightly shrugging off my arm and letting a little pride seep into her voice. “I bet I could shoot that gun a dozen times without breaking a sweat.”

Fortunately, I had plenty of experience with knowing how to help Rainbow out while leaving her pride intact. “Yeah, it’s no big deal. Though one little trick I’ve used whenever the recoil really gets to me is to...” I leaned over her back, helping her get the rifle settled into place.

“Like this?” She leaned back just a bit, pressing against my chest as I helped her get the gun set against her shoulder. “And am I holding it right, or...?”

I took her hands and shifted them just a bit to give her a slightly more secure hold on it. “Yeah, just like that.” When I started to pull my hands away her thumb shifted up to gently hold me in place. I certainly wasn’t going to argue the point. Her hands felt ... well, a lot nicer than I would’ve expected Rainbow’s hands to feel.

I stayed right there with her until she fired again. Another perfect shot. “Looks like we make a good team, Dash. Nice shooting.”

Rainbow turned her head to face me, grinning. It made me realize that our current position had our faces resting pretty close to each other. “Thanks for the help, Cloud.”

I locked eyes with her, only to be interrupted by my mother loudly clearing her throat. “Cloud. No distracting the shooter.”

“Huh?” I blinked, and it suddenly dawned on me that Rainbow and I had been getting rather ... cozy with each other. Right in front of my parents. I quickly pulled away from her, my cheeks burning. “Er ... right. Of course. I was just trying to help her with her aim. And—well—it obviously worked. Because she was shooting well.”

“Yeah!” Rainbow agreed, her own cheeks bright red. “So, er, that’s...”

“I think she’s gotten the hang of it,” Mom snipped. “If she needs any more pointers, I’m sure Tor can handle it.” Her hand settled on my back and firmly directed me away from Rainbow. “We’re going to go work on your marksmanship. Last time we were out here, you failed to qualify as an expert on two of the twelve runs we did. Qualifying as a sharpshooter isn’t enough—I expect you to get an expert badge.”

I sighed, already resigned to my fate as she dragged me away from Rainbow. “Yes, Mom.”

In the aftermath of our trip to the shooting range, it was almost a relief to get back to the normal school routine. At least my teachers never gave me a hard time about only getting 39 out of 40 questions right on a test.

After suffering through my morning classes it was lunchtime. Despite the fact that I had a bag lunch from home, I headed for the cafeteria so I could eat with my friends.

Sure enough, as soon as I claimed a table Rainbow smoothly settled into the seat next to me, setting down her tray and and licking her lips while unabashedly admiring my ... lunch. Considering the cafeteria seemed to be offering their classic menu of brown glop, yellow goop, and green goo, I couldn’t blame her.

Rainbow continued staring as I pulled out my sandwich, a small bag of chips, an orange, a can of diet soda, and a cookie. I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Got anything worth trading?”

Rainbow looked down at her tray. “Jello?” She paused and poked the green goo. “At least, I think it’s jello. It wiggles when I poke it.”

“Maybe half a cookie,” I answered skeptically. “And I'm only giving you that much ‘cause I feel sorry for you.”

“Yeah, I feel sorry for me, too.” She poked at the contents of her tray a bit more. “I'll toss in half an apple and a brownie.”

I frowned in thought. The cafeteria apples were usually pretty decent since Applejack’s family farm provided most of them. The brownies... “Is it one of the good brownies, a stale one that'll break your teeth, or undercooked goopy one?”

The most ringing endorsement Rainbow could bring herself to offer was, “It's ... edible. Maybe a little goopy. But I figured you'd like goopy.”

Before I could ask just why Rainbow thought I’d like an undercooked gooey brownie, Blossomforth settled into the seat across from me. “Hello Cloud Kicker, Rainbow Dash. What's this about goop?”

“Oh heya Blossom,” Rainbow casually waved to her. “Just trading for food.”

“Well, I'm trading food,” I countered. “Rainbow's trading ... vaguely food-like substances. Reconstituted food byproducts.”

“Ooh, gotcha.” She set down a tray that was covered with goop that looked even worse than what Rainbow was eating. “Well, um, anything worth trading here?”

Rainbow frowned down at her tray, and after great deliberation pointed at a bowl of something that I think was supposed to be pudding. “I could use that stuff to spackle my walls. Maybe patch holes in my bike’s tires.”

I shivered sympathetically. “Yeah. Look, Blossom, you’re my buddy and I like you, but you're on your own with that.”

Blossom stared skeptically down at the contents of her tray and experimentally jabbed at her ‘food’ with a fork, only to have the tines break off. Sure, it was a cheap plastic fork, but still... “This is supposed to be nutritional?”

“I think it's supposed to be cheap,” Rainbow countered.

I nodded along. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure the cafeteria’s food comes out of bags labeled ‘Use only for livestock and students.’”

Rainbow shook her head. “Nah, Applejack tried to feed this stuff to her pigs once. They wouldn’t touch it. Even the goats wouldn’t, and they’re ... well, they’re goats. Kinda says it all.”

“For what it’s worth, you two have my sympathies.” I unwrapped half of my sandwich and took a moment to appreciate the fact that, for all her unpleasable hardass-ness, at least Mom didn’t make me eat cafeteria food.

Rainbow’s eyes flicked down the remaining half of my sandwich, still wrapped up and untouched. It wasn’t hard to see the gears turning in her head, trying to figure out the best way to get my food.

Blossom looked up from poking her own ‘food,’ her eyes also lingering on the other half of my sandwich. “That looks really good. What is it?”

With both of them staring, I just couldn’t help rubbing it in a bit. I slowly took another bite of it, then softly moaned in pleasure. “Mmm, so good! This turkey is so moist, and the swiss cheese is just a perfect complement to it. And ... yes, Mom put bacon on it too! And all on honey-wheat bread ... oh this is best sandwich ever!”

Blossom cocked her head to the side. “Turkey, bacon, and swiss cheese?”

“Cloud...” Dash whimpered, staring at me with wide, sad eyes. “Have I ever told you what an awesome, kind, and generous friend you are?” While Blossom didn’t say anything, the tray full of cafeteria goop sitting in front of her was a fine testament to just how terrible her circumstances were.

With both of them teaming up on me, there was only one way it could end: I let out a token grumble as I unwrapped the other half of my sandwich and tore it in two. Rainbow got the larger of the two portions, because ... well, because. “Evil women taking advantage of my soft heart...” I muttered. “I hope you’re happy when I starve to death.”

Rainbow’s eyes lit up as I passed the food over to her. “Thanks Cloud, you rock!” She immediately tore into it, grinning around a mouthful of sandwichy goodness.

I chuckled and took the apple off her tray as payment. “Welcome, Dash.”

Meanwhile, Blossom had opened up my sandwich to have a look, presumably to make sure there wasn’t anything in there she didn’t like. Apparently my food passed muster, because she took an experimental little bite, blinked, then shoved the rest of it into her mouth with a single gulp. After some chewing that was so noisy and messy that even Rainbow was taken aback by her table manners, she wiped her mouth and grinned broadly at us. “That was fantastic! This one would love to know where you got it from!”

“Er...” Well somebody had taken their weird pills today. “It's the same sandwich I bring every day? From home?”

Blossom settled back into her seat. “Um ... right, I knew that.” She smiled disarmingly “What I meant was that I really liked it. Turkey and cheese and bacon and bread! And all of it made with love and care!”

I traded a look with Rainbow, who shrugged and took another bite out of my sandwich. “I ... guess, yeah?”

Before the conversation could get any stranger, a new voice cut in. “Love, care, and if Mom’s been handloading again, trace amounts of gunpowder. All part of our daily regimen of nutrients and minerals.” My little sister flopped down into the seat next to Blossom. “Hey, Cloud, Rainbow, Blossom. ‘Sup?”

“Hey, Sparks.” I grinned as she pulled her own lunchbag out. “I better warn you ahead of time, these two harpies are gonna do everything they can to beg, borrow, or steal away some of your food. I can’t blame them considering what the cafeteria serves, but still...”

“Too bad for them,” Sparkler commented as she pulled out her own sandwich. “I’m not a soft touch like you. If they want half my sandwich, they can pay me a 200% markup for it.”

“Bah.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Why isn’t Sparkler as awesome as you, Cloud?”

“She’s adopted,” I deadpanned.

“Ouch,” Sparkler snarked right back, dramatically putting a hand over her chest. “I feel that, Cloud. You got me right in the heart.”

“Nah, I think that’s just you having a heart attack from how fat your butt is,” Rainbow cut in. “You know, ‘cause you’re greedy and not sharing your food.” She paused a moment then turned and jabbed me in the side. “And hey, what was with that ‘harpies’ comment anyway? Just for that, you lose the cool points I was gonna give you for sharing.”

I rolled my eyes and poked her right back “It was a joke. Relax, Dash, you know I lo—” The rest of the joke died in my throat. After recent events, it suddenly didn’t seem nearly as funny as it had been ... well, before.

Rainbow let out a loud and awkward cough, then hastily shoved the rest of my sandwich into her mouth so she’d have an excuse to not say anything for a while.

Sparkler blinked and frowned, staring confusedly between the two of us. “Okay, did I miss something? ‘Cause it looks like everyone’s going nuts.”

“Nothing!” I hastily snapped out. “Nothing weird’s going on at all. Nope. Totally normal here.” I decided to follow Rainbow’s example, and cracked open my soda and started chugging it down. Hopefully that would give me time to compose myself.

Blossomforth looked back and forth between Rainbow and me, a smile slowly forming on her lips. “Ohhh, look at all that unresolved romantic tension. When did you two hook up?”

Rainbow’s eyes bugged out and she started choking on my sandwich, while I barely managed to avoid spraying soda all over Blossom’s face. Which, admittedly, would’ve been no less than she deserved after dropping that bombshell on us.

Sparkler wasn’t anywhere near as freaked out, but she’d still let out a weird sound halfway between a grunt and a wheeze. She shook her head and groaned. “Blossomforth!!! Come on! I love a good smartass line as much as anyone, but geeze!”

“What?” Blossom asked, her face the very picture of innocent confusion. “Isn’t it obvious? You can practically taste the love coming off of them.”

My eyes briefly darted to Rainbow, just in time to catch her looking at me. I hastily turned my head, and I could feel my cheeks warming up again. Rainbow’s face was pretty red too, but that might just have been because some of my sandwich had gone down the wrong way.

Evidently Sparkler had decided that Blossom was on to something, or at least that she was close enough to make for some good teasing fodder for a bratty little sister. “Cloudy and Rainbow underneath a tree, B-A-N-G-I-N-G ... First comes lust, then the sex drive—then comes Mom with her .45.” She smirked at both of us nibbled away at her sandwich.

Rainbow grabbed what was left of my soda and chugged it down, then let out a loud cough followed by a pained wheeze. I forgot all about the awkwardness and my sister being a massive brat, my attention fully on Rainbow. I gave her a quick slap on the back to try and help her out. “You okay?”

“I’m good...” She weakly tried to wave me away. “Just, y’know, a little food went down the wrong pipe. S’no big deal.” She grimaced and shook her head. “Gah, what the heck was that, Blossom? Don't ever do that again!”

“You sure you’re okay?” My hand stayed on her back, gently rubbing it in reassuring circles. “I don’t have to do the Heimlich on you or something, do I?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “I said I'm fine. Stop making a fuss, Cloud. S’no big deal.” She finished off my soda, then glanced down at it and seemed to remember it wasn’t hers. “Uh, I’ll buy you another one of those.” She paused, then amended. “Well, I’ll buy one and split it with you. I didn’t drink the whole thing, after all.”

“Sounds good to me.” I eased away from her, slowly removing my hand from her back. “So ... moving on from that bit of awkwardness...”

“Uh ... yeah.” Blossom shifted awkwardly in her seat. “Um, I think I should go.”

I certainly wasn’t gonna argue with her after the minor disaster she’d just caused. That was a couple steps beyond a faux pas. “Right, so long, Blossom.”

As Blossom got up and left, Sparkler worried at her lower lip, then leaned in a bit and murmured “Um, sorry ... didn't mean to get you guys quite that bad.”

“S'fine...” Rainbow waved her apology off, then her eyes narrowed and she grinned. “I'll just have to get you back is all. Blossom, too.”

I snickered and smirked at my sister. “Oooh, you're in for it now, Sparks. When Rainbow decides to get payback, the pranks get ... creative.” Not that her normal pranks were dull, by any means. Though she still needed to work on her exit strategies—at least I’d gotten her to be a bit more subtle than that time back in middle school where she’d carved her name into the school lawn in twenty foot tall letters.

Sparkler tried to play it cool, shrugging and affecting an air of nonchalance. “Nah, I don't think so. After all, I just found her kryptonite, and I’ll ruthlessly exploit it if she messes with me too much.”

“That only worked because Blossomforth surprised me,” Rainbow countered. “Seriously, who just says something like that in middle of lunch? S’not gonna work if I know it’s coming.” She smirked and leveled an accusing finger at my little sister. “So, how do you plan to avert my wrath? You better have a good plan, or you’re gonna get it...”

“Especially since I’ll probably be helping her,” I chimed in.

Sparkler grinned mischievously at us. “Maybe Blossom was onto something—look at you two doing stuff together and acting all ... couple-y.”

“Blossom’s a butthead,” Rainbow responded with her usual eloquence. Her eyes narrowed and she grabbed her spoon, then used it as an improvised catapult to blat something that was allegedly applesauce onto my sister’s nose.

I snickered softly. “I see you’re starting off with the classics, Dash. Good old goop on the face.”

Rainbow shrugged immodestly. “A bit basic, but that’s just a warm-up. Gotta do a few basic pranks before I’m ready to bring my A-game.”

“Classy,” Sparkler deadpanned, grabbing a napkin and wiping her nose. Her eyes flicked to the side, and when I followed them I saw Blossom leaving the cafeteria. Sparkler looked over her shoulder, then leaned in close and dropped her voice. “Hey, seriously though ... she seem kinda weird to you?” She paused a moment, then helpfully clarified. “Blossomforth, I mean—Cloud's always weird.”

I decided to be the mature big sister and ignore her needling. “Blossom?” I thought back over the conversation. “She was acting a bit odd, yeah.”

Rainbow nodded along. “Yeah, even before she said that weird stuff about me and Cloud she was acting kinda strange. She got a fever or something?”

Sparkler let out a long sigh, her shoulders slumping. “Okay, it's not just me then.”

I thought back to how she freaked out over getting part of my sandwich. It was like she’d never gotten food off of me before. “She been acting like that all day?”

“Longer'n that, really,” Sparkler confirmed. “At least since Monday. I just wrote that off as Monday at first, but...”

“Huh.” Everyone has a weird day, but if she’d been like that all week... “What's up with her?”

Sparkler shrugged helplessly. “Hell if I know. I asked Star about it, and she showed me this thing on her phone that showed her where Blossom's phone was. And things were weird.”

Rainbow blinked and stared at her. “Okay, first of all, what?”

“Star. My cousin. Likes flannel, uses her computer a lot?” Sparkler ‘helpfully’ explained.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “I haven’t forgotten about Cloud’s cousin, smartass. But what were you talking about with her phone?”

Sparkler sighed. “She, um ... well, it's ... oh, just shut up and look.” She pulled out her phone and turned on an app. After a couple seconds it loaded up a map of the school, then a line of movements with timestamps and Blossom’s name on them. “Look at this! She's been all over the school!”

Rainbow cocked her head to the side. “Uh, Sparkler? Right now I’m kinda more worried about the fact that Star has an app on her phone that she can use to track Blossomforth all over the school. Am I the only one who thinks that’s really creepy?”

“Yeah, I think I need to have a talk with Aunt Wind about that. Star’s always been a bit weird, but this is a whole new level of...” I trailed off as I looked over the data. “Okay, why's Blossom spending hours at a time down in the school's basement?”

“Right?! Thank you!” Sparkler sighed and turned to Rainbow. “Look, we can talk about Star's digital shadowing later—right now, let's focus on the creep factor of Blossom going into the basement. Of the school. According to Star’s data she’s even hanging out there late at night after school’s closed. Like, do I even need to sound off on the horror movies that paint that as a warning sign?!”

Rainbow frowned in thought. “Doesn’t mean anything too weird going on. Plenty of kids would sneak into the basement to draw graffiti, sneak out of classes, or make out 'n stuff.” Her eyes briefly flicked to me when she mentioned the last point.

I frowned and crossed my arms over my chest. “Rainbow, does Blossom seem like the kinda gal who would do any of those things? She never cuts class, usually freaks out and starts blushing if you even mention making out, and graffiti ... do I even need to say anything about how not Blossom that is?”

Rainbow sighed and her shoulders slumped. “Okay, fine, you’re right.”

That led to the next logical step in the process. “Wanna go check it out?”

Rainbow thought it over, then shrugged and nodded. “Yeah, might as well.”

Sparkler groaned and facepalmed. “Have either of you two ever seen a horror movie? I mean, seriously? I bet as soon as you guys go down there you’re gonna split up, too.” She rolled her eyes in disgust and shook her head.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, we’ve seen horror movies.” They were Rainbow’s second favorite genre after cheesy action movies with lots of explosions. “We’re just gonna go check it out. If we see anything weird we'll get out and call for backup.”

“You'd better.” She reached across the table to poke me. “I don’t want you ending up as one of the pod people, getting an alien brain bug controlling you, or anything else weird. Got it?”

Rainbow scoffed and waved her concerns away. “You’ve been watching way too many movies.” She flicked a bit of imaginary dirt off her shoulders. “Besides, I've taken on two crazy evil demon girls and the Sirens. I'm sure Cloud and I can handle whatever’s going on in the spoooky school basement.”

Into the Depths (Mind out of the gutter, Kicker)

Once we were done with classes for the day, Rainbow and I got started on our investigation. A quick check on Star’s creepy stalker app confirmed that Blossom was down in the basement, and then we got moving.

The school basement looked ... well, like a basement. Bare concrete walls and floors, with lots of utility pipes on the ceiling. A lot of space was taken up by a bunch of old boxes full of an impressively wide selection of random crap: a couple of old trophies from so far back they weren’t in the display cases anymore, several cardboard boxes full of outdated textbooks, and a battered filing cabinet with broken calculators, protractors, and pencils.

The one odd thing about it was that things weren’t very dusty down here. Which I guess made sense, considering how often Blossom was sneaking around. Plus Rainbow’s own guess that this might be somewhere students would go when they wanted to cut class or get a little privacy.

Rainbow tried the lightswitch, but nothing happend. “Figures,” she grumbled, pulling out her phone and turning on its flashlight. “Well I don’t see any sign of Blossom down here.”

I briefly regretted not tracking down Star and asking for a copy of her stalker app, since it would’ve made finding exactly where Blossom had gotten off to a lot easier. Of course, it also would’ve meant having a copy of the creepy stalker app on my phone, which ... yeah. That’s not the kind of thing I wanted to have on it. If Mom or Dad came across it, there would be a lot of uncomfortable questions.

That just left the old-fashioned way of tracking her down. “She must be in the utility tunnels. Plenty of room to hide down there.”

Rainbow frowned and stared down the long, lightless, cramped corridor. Sure enough, the dust on the floor had been recently disturbed. “Alright, I know I was making fun of Sparkler earlier, but this starting to look a little ... horror movie-y. Maybe we should just wait here and grab her whenever she leaves? I don’t want you getting lost in the tunnels and freaking out on me.”

“We covered navigation in junior cadets,” I reassured her. “It shouldn’t be too hard to follow Blossom’s trail, and if we do get lost we can just follow the old always-turn-right rule.”

“I thought you were supposed to always turn left,” Rainbow countered.

“Either one works.” I assured her.

Rainbow frowned suspiciously. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” My words came out just a bit terse, so I tried to reign it back in. “Do you wanna argue, or do you want to go find Blossom?”

Rainbow grunted and nodded. “Fine, whatever. But if we get lost because you forget which way we’re supposed to turn, I’m kicking your butt.”

“Fair enough.” I double-checked my phone. “Relax, we’ve still got a signal down here. Not a very good one, but it’s getting through. Worst case, Star can use her creeper app to find out where we are and help us get out.”

“Yeah, that’s reassuring.” Rainbow rolled her eyes, but started leading the way down the hallway, using her phone’s light to show the way.

I followed right behind her, keeping my eyes and ears open for anything out of the ordinary. The first thing I noticed—well, the second since I was walking right behind Rainbow—was the smell. Damp and musty, which figured since there were water pipes down here. Except it didn’t just smell like water, but like something ... else. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what exactly the smell was, but it definitely didn’t belong.

The old pipes moaned and creaked every once in awhile, whooshing as water ran through or letting out mechanical clanks as ... well, probably valves turning or something. As we walked down the dark corridors I kept spotting shadows moving out of the corners of my eyes. I knew it was probably just on account of us moving by phone flashlights, but it was still hard not to twitch every time I spotted movement in my peripheral vision.

As we traveled deeper and deeper into the bowels of the school, the rest of those sounds started to fade away. Soon all I heard were the dull, echoing sounds of our feet hitting bare concrete and the soft hissing of our own breath. Without any other sounds to drown them out, soon each footstep sounded as loud as a gunshot.

“Ooookay,” I carefully whispered to Rainbow. “Is it just me, or is it starting to get just a little bit spooky down here?”

Rainbow snorted and rolled her eyes. “Please, I've seen scarier stuff in the locker room. Remember that time when Pinkie’s sister...”

Rainbow trailed off, and I was about to make a crack about not looking in the mirror when I felt something give under my foot. We froze in place, that cocky smile forcibly locked onto Rainbow’s lips as we both looked down at our feet. Rainbow had stepped on something … something. It looked like some kind of huge, black vein that ended a few feet behind us; the rest of it snaked down the hall and around a corner, and in the half-light I saw that it wasn’t the only one. Not by a long shot.

More of the vein-things coated the walls and ceiling, splayed out in every direction and all closing in on the hallway. Worse, they all contracted at the same time—then again, and again faintly but unmistakably pulsing like they were connected to some massive, unseen heart further in the school.

Rainbow’s foot didn’t come up easily, though that wasn’t from a lack of effort on her part. The vein-thing she’d broken oozed with some kind of green-white ichor that seeped out a few drops at a time with each pulse. It reminded me of the way my thumb bled when I’d cut it open a couple of years ago.

Oh. Oh, god. It was bleeding.

Did we just wake something up?

Rainbow stared down at her ichor-covered shoe. “Ewww!” She shook her foot several times, not quite managing to get all the goo off. “Okay, I don’t know about you, but I think this is definitely weird enough that we should call for backup.”

“No, really?” I almost managed to keep a nervous squeak out of my voice. I whipped out my phone and made sure I still had a signal, then took a few quick pictures. “So who do we call for something like this? Pretty sure the cops would think it was just some sorta prank.”

“Sunset and the rest of the gang,” Rainbow answered without a moment’s hesitation. “Because I’m pretty sure creepy wall-veins is some kinda magic thing. Gotta get everyone here so we can blast it with rainbow lasers.”

“Makes sense,” I agreed. “But just in case, I’m gonna call Mom and Dad too. They might not have any magical friendship lasers, but...”

“Tell them to bring a flamethrower,” Rainbow suggested.

“We don’t have one of those.”

“Grenade launcher?”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Mom and Dad might be in the army, but that doesn’t mean we keep a lot of military ordnance in the house. They don’t let soldiers just walk off base with whatever they want—there’s rules and stuff.”

“And that’s why I didn’t join the Junior Cadets when you did,” Rainbow grumbled. “Army stuff sounds cool, but they have rules against everything. I need to be awesome without all that stuff holding me back.”

“Discipline doesn’t hold anyone back,” I snapped. “And honestly, learning a little more self-control would probably be good for you.”

“Excuse me?” Rainbow jabbed a finger into my chest. “I need to learn self-control? You’re the one who ... y’know ... in the locker room...”

For a moment I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Oh please!” My voice rose several octaves. “You’re the one who started it!”

“I was just trying to get you off!”

I answered with a raised eyebrow. “Well, you certainly did that.”

Rainbow’s cheeks lit up, and she yelped out. “From on top of me! It’s not like I meant to grab your—”

“Well you certainly weren’t in any hurry to let go!”

“It’s not like you asked me to!”

“You never asked me to stop either!”

“Well, duh! That was fun!”

“So what's the problem?!”

“The after-stuff!” Rainbow finally blurted out. “I mean, yeah, at the time it was fun, but things got ... well ... yeah, after that. Y'know?”

I frowned at her, utterly baffled. “Uh, no, not really.”

“It—stupid Kicker, you know what I mean...” Rainbow sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Look, stuff was cool between us. We'd compete, I'd win, and we'd hang out like we always have. Now it's like, are we hanging out together or are we...” She groaned and ran a hand down her face “It’s ... things got weird. With us. Everything’s all weird and awkward and uncomfortable and I don’t like it. C’mon, I know you’ve noticed it too.”

“Yeah,” I admitted. “Kinda hard not to. It’s kinda hard to do anything around you without thinking about ... er ... you know ... that we banged in the locker room.”

“Exactly.” Rainbow groaned and ran a hand through her hair. “Used to be we could hug and touch each other and stuff and it was no big deal. But now I can’t do any of that without remembering, and ... and it makes things weird. Half the time it freaks me out and makes me wanna get away, and the other half, it...” She trailed off, her cheeks lighting up again.

“Uh ... yeah.” I could feel my own cheeks warming up to match hers. “Me, too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

The two of us stood there awkwardly, not quite sure what we should do next. Rainbow shuffled her feet and cleared her throat, while I struggled to come up with something to say that wouldn’t sound completely asinine or banal. I wasn’t having much luck.

Then the awkward silence was broken by a high-pitched screech that didn’t sound like it came from a human throat. “SKREEE!”

As the shriek echoed down the tunnels, I said the first thing that sprang to mind. “What the heck was that?!”

“No idea.” Rainbow shot me the sort of grin that usually presaged her springing a plot that ended with us both in the principal’s office. “Let's go find out!”

I put a restraining hand on her arm before she could go charging off. I swear, only Rainbow would be so eager about going towards the angry screaming monster sounds. “Remember how we were gonna call and wait for backup when things got weird?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Cloud, I'm with you in the basement hunting for Blossomforth, there’s freaky stuff on the walls and floor, and I’m pretty sure some sort of magic monster’s running around and screaming. We are way past weird.”

“I'm just saying, maybe we should not go running towards freaky monster noises until we have your magic buddies or my parents backing us up.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “What exactly are we supposed to do after we find whatever’s down here? Do you have any plan?”

“We’ll figure something out,” Rainbow answered.

“That’s not a plan.” I shot back. “That’s not even twenty percent of a plan.”

Rainbow groaned and ran a hand down her face. “Well what if Blossomforth’s in trouble? We know she’s down there, and now there’s something really freaky going on too. You just gonna sit here and wait when she might need help now?”

For a moment I wanted to argue the point, but ... well, she was right. It might be more pragmatic to sit back and wait for reinforcements, but the idea of leaving Blossom down there, alone in the dark with some sort of monster ... no. I couldn’t do it. One of the rules Mom and Dad taught me was that you don’t leave anyone behind. And more importantly, she was my friend. “Alright, fine, but we do this fast, quiet, and careful. Got it?”

“Got it.”

We slipped further down the tunnels. By this point we’d gone so far that I had to wonder if we were still under school, or if we’d moved out into the municipal utility network. I certainly hoped so, since that might mean there was a closer exit. I didn’t want to run all the way back to school through these dark, cramped tunnels while being chased by ... well, whatever was down here.

The darkness started to fade away as we moved onward, careful of any more contact with the growths on the wall. Especially once we realized that they were the source of the eerie green phosphorescent light. At least we’d called Sunset and Mom before going any deeper. Hopefully they could get here before things got completely crazy on us. The veins seemed to be getting thicker as we moved forward, which was almost certainly a sign we were going in the right direction. Well, we were headed towards the center of whatever this was, which for some reason we’d decided was a good idea.

Finally, we emerged into a large circular open chamber. The walls were covered with more of the strange growths and a lot of creepy green goo. And standing right in the middle of it all was Blossomforth. I started towards her, until Rainbow grabbed my arm and pointed to a particularly large glob of goo. I stared at it for a second then recognized someone floating within the cocoon: Blossomforth.

Rainbow pointed to the Blossom standing in the room. “It’s a pod person!”

The fake Blossomforth whirled to face us, and with a flash of green fire she turned into something ... else. The thing was still humanoid, but its entire body was covered in some kind of black, leather-chitin stuff that looked solid enough to stop a knife. That chitin tapered to a fine, keen point on each of its fingers—no, claws. Anything that looked that sharp was definitely a claw. I tried to look away from them, but that only drew my sight to its head; Blossom's mouth had turned into a set of some kind of sideways fang-like mandibles. And above those were its eyes ... a pair of dark, horrifying voids broken only by pinprick-like pupils that glowed green even in the half-light of my phone. I got the feeling that I would be able to see them even in pitch black. And that they would be able to see me, too.

It let another ear-piercing shriek and charged us.

“Cloud, move!” Rainbow shoved me to the side, making sure the bug-monster wouldn’t be able to get both of us at once. I might not have any experience in fighting monsters, but one of the rules Dad had hammered into me during training was that you never wanted to be outnumbered in a fight. Getting a black belt doesn’t give you eyes in the back of your head ... and even if it did I only had a brown belt. As long as Rainbow and I could come at the bug-thing from two different angles we should be able to land some good hits.

The shapeshifter hesitated for a moment, then decided to go for Rainbow instead of me. Big mistake. Rainbow quickly backpedaled to get away from those slashing claws while I closed in on its exposed back. It didn’t even realize I was coming for it until I slammed a fist into its kidney.

Or rather, where the kidney would’ve been on a human. On a bug monster...

The thing twitched a bit and let out a soft hiss when I hit it, but otherwise seemed unharmed. I think I wound up hurting my hand more—exoskeletons are hard. The creature snarled and spun, throwing a backhand claw strike at my face.

I managed to dodge. Mostly. I got my face out of the line of attack, but its claws caught me across the right shoulder instead. The chitinous talons tore right through my shirt, and then it felt like my shoulder was on fire. When I tried to move my arm it sent a fresh wave of pain shooting through my wounds, so I left it hanging limp.

Crap.

“Cloud!” Rainbow rushed forward and delivered a perfect soccer kick right to another set of balls. Or that was the idea. Once again, all we confirmed was that this thing didn’t have anything like normal human anatomy.

The monster still got knocked onto the tips of its toes by Rainbow’s kick, but it recovered pretty quickly and tried to close in on her. Rainbow kicked out again to keep it at bay. “Ugh, you are so gross!” Rainbow tried for a high roundhouse kick to the head, but the thing anticipated the attack and grabbed her leg. She managed to quickly wrench it free, but the monster’s claws still left several long scratches down her calf.

I couldn’t leave Rainbow fighting on her own, but with my main arm out of commission my options were a lot more limited. There wasn’t time to come up with much of a plan, so I stuck with what I’d learned and aimed for another weak spot. This time, instead of trying for organs that might not even exist and had an exoskeleton on them anyway, I went after its knee. Hopefully this thing still had vulnerable joints.

I launched my attack at the same time as Rainbow, and the bug was still focused on her. While it managed to block her kick it didn’t see my strike coming. Its knee, or whatever the bug-monster equivalent was, snapped backwards and the creature fell to the floor with a pained shriek.

I couldn’t help smirking just a bit. I guess bug-monster knees were close enough to human ones. “One of the first things Dad taught me: even the biggest and nastiest guy in the world can’t fight if you take out one of his knees.”

“Nice one, Cloud.” Rainbow warily circled around the monster, looking for an opening. “So what is this thing? Some sort of shapeshifting bug-mutant monster from Equestria?” Rainbow’s eyes started flicking around the chamber, probably looking for something better than her bare hands to use against the creature.

The creature continued hissing in pain, trying and failing to get its wounded leg to support its weight. It turned to me, and for a second I could swear I saw pure hate in its alien compound eyes. It dug its claws into the floor, then came at me on three working limbs, its bad leg trailing uselessly behind it. It also pretty much confirmed Rainbow’s theory that it must be from magical pony land, because the thing was moving surprisingly fast, like it was used to using its forelimbs for propulsion.

“Gyah!” I hopped backwards and kicked out at the creature’s face. I didn’t have my feet properly planted and my bad arm threw my balance off, so it wasn’t a very good kick. The creature took the hit without any noticeable injury, then grabbed my foot and twisted.

Basic laws of physics and human anatomy kicked in, and I went down to the floor. To make things worse, I fell on my wounded shoulder.

Ow.

I tried to get my captured foot out, struggling against the monster’s grip and kicking out with my free leg. Between the incredibly distracting pain in my shoulder and the angle being all wrong, I didn’t manage to land a good hit. To make matters worse, all my struggling made the bug’s talons cut through my shoe, and from there into my foot itself.

Double ow.

There was a loud, meaty thwack, and the pain in my foot suddenly decreased. Rainbow stood over the monster, holding a brick over her head. She brought it down again with a primal shriek. “Get your stinking claws offa my girlfriend!”

Rainbow pounded the thing over and over again. The creature wailed and hissed, but it wasn’t in a good position to do anything to defend itself. It was down on the ground with me, while Rainbow was attacking from above. Blows hammered against it until Rainbow finally smacked it in the head. Green ichor burst out of the wound, and it went limp.

Rainbow stared down at the brick and her arm, which were now covered in the sticky green liquid. “Gross.” She tossed it away, blinked, then rushed over and knelt down next to me. “Cloud! Are you okay?!”

I grimaced and kicked off my shoe to get a look at how bad my foot was. Then instantly regretted that decision. Once I could see straight again, I got a look at the damage. Lots of cuts, but I still had all my toes and everything else. It still moved when I wanted it too, though testing that was ... not fun. “I'll live.” I shot her a weak grin. “So ... ‘girlfriend.’”

Rainbow shot me a flat look. “Really? That's what you're focusing on right now?”

“Sure as heck beats focusing on how much my foot hurts.” I tried putting a bit of weight on my foot to test it out. Really unpleasant, but I could walk on it if I had to. Which ... yeah, I wasn’t too wild about waiting for a rescue while stuck in the middle of this freaky nest, sitting next to a dead bug monster.

Rainbow looked down at my foot and winced. Her eyes darted around the chamber, then she sighed and pulled off her skirt. Before I could ask why she’d done such a thing she started tearing it up, then wrapping the improvised bandages around my foot. Once that was done she tried to get a good look at my shoulder, but my shirt made that a bit hard. She ripped it open where the bug had clawed it, then blushed when the rip went too far.

I shot her a faintly annoyed look. “You’ve seen me naked, Rainbow.” Not to mention that we’d gone well past just seeing. “A bit of sideboob while I’m wearing a bra is nothing.”

“Uh, right.” She shook her head, then wrapped up my shoulder wound. “Try not to move your arm, it’ll probably make things worse.” She grabbed my left hand and helped haul me to my feet.

I groaned and settled onto my feet, keeping as much weight as possible on my uninjured foot. I briefly considered trying to get my shoe back on, but it probably wouldn’t fit with all the improvised bandages, and there wasn’t much left of it anyway. “I’m alright.” My eyes dropped down to Rainbow’s legs, which I could see a lot more of now that her skirt was gone. Normally I might have lamented the fact that she wore shorts under her skirt, but right now my attention was on the scratches the monster had left on her legs. “What about you?”

“Huh?” Rainbow glanced down at her legs and blinked. “Huh. Didn’t even notice those. Well they don’t really hurt and they’re barely even bleeding, so they can’t be that bad.”

I didn’t agree, but with only one working arm I couldn’t really bandage her up anyway. “Alright, I vote for getting Blossom out of that freaky cocoon thing, and then getting the heck outta here.” I glanced down at my wounded arm. “Well, you try to get her out. I’ll call for backup.”

Technically I’d already done that, but Mom and Dad would probably wanna know that the situation had escalated from ‘something weird is going on’ to ‘we’re in a life-and-death fight against bug monsters.’ I couldn’t get a good enough signal for a connection—no surprise when we were underground—so I had to settle for texting them. Hope it got through ... and that they didn’t forget to check their messages. Just to be safe, I sent out a couple more messages to my siblings and cousins. Sparkler and Star both practically had their phones surgically attached to their fingers, so one of them was bound to notice and spread the word.

“Yeah.” Rainbow stepped up to the cocoon, frowning and studying it closely. She poked and prodded it a few times, trying to find some opening or weak point. Then she shrugged, grabbed two handfuls of the material and started pulling. At first it resisted her like rubber, but then there was a loud, wet rip and it tore open. Blossom tumbled out of it, accompanied by a tide of thick green goo. “She okay?” Rainbow paused, glancing down at the goop. “Also, ew.”

I took a close look at her and a tremble passed through my spine. “Rainbow ... she’s not breathing. Is she…?”

Before I could finish the question Blossomforth started twitching. Her eyes snapped open, but they looked fuzzy and unfocused, like she had no idea where she was or what was going on. Her limbs started twitching like she was trying to move, but there was no coordination to her movements. After a few seconds she started trying to rub what was left of the goop from the cocoon off of her face and out of her eyes.

Rainbow snapped her fingers in front of Blossom, trying to get her to focus on the sound. “Damn, she’s really out of it. We gotta get her out of here.”

“Yeah, I'm gonna guess that being locked up in a cocoon wasn't good for her.” I started to bend down to help her up, but a flash of pain reminded me that was a bad idea. “Think you can you carry her? I'm ... probably not in good shape to help.” To heck with helping, I could probably use some help myself. But Blossom needed it more than I did.

“Yeah, I got it.” Rainbow leaned down and grabbed Blossomforth, hauling her up and draping one of Blossom’s arms across her shoulders. “Ugh, she smells like bug goo. Why must being so awesome be such a pain?”

As if in answer to that question, Blossom moaned, coughed a few times, then puked all over Rainbow’s shoes. It mostly looked like the same stuff that had been in the cocoon, and as soon as she was done she took in a massive gasp of air, followed by more coughing and another round of vomiting. I guess she must’ve been breathing whatever was in that cocoon.

Rainbow looked down at her thoroughly soaked shoes and groaned. “Well I’m gonna have to burn these now. Really, Blossomforth? Couldn’t have turned your head just a bit?”

She blinked a couple times, and her eyes finally seemed to focus on us. A couple seconds later her voice came out as a weak, raspy croak. “S-sorry, Rainbow.”

Rainbow let out a long-suffering sigh. “S’alright. I can buy new shoes.”

Blossom turned to me, her eyes on my torn shirt and bandaged shoulder. “Cloud! You’re hurt. What's goin—”

Then she noticed the bug-monster.

Blossom screeched and stumbled backwards, hiding behind Rainbow and trembling like a leaf. I rushed to her side, ignoring the lance of pain that shot through my bad foot with every step I took. “Whoa, easy Blossom! It's dead.” I hesitated a moment, then carefully whispered to Rainbow. “You did make sure it’s dead, right?”

Rainbow hesitated and shot a nervous look at the thing. “Er ... it looked like it to me.”

The creature twitched spasmodically. Blossom let out another shriek, but this time she didn’t sound scared. She charged forward, grabbing the brick Rainbow had discarded and bringing it down on the creature again and again, until there was nothing left of its head but a pool of ichor and some shard of chitin and ... other things.

Rainbow’s face looked green, though that might have just been the light. “Geeze...”

I opted for a bit of gallows humor, since the only alternatives would be screaming in horror and/or crying. “Well, it's definitely dead now.”

Blossom stood over the bug, gasping for breath and staring down at it with wild eyes. “T-that thing...” The brick tumbled out of her grasp. “It—it grabbed me, after school. Then it—then it was me! It ... it pulled me down here and put me in...” Her eyes flicked back to what was left of the cocoon, and she let out a loud sniffle, tears cutting tracks through the goo that still coated her face after her captivity.

I leaned down next to her, ignoring my body’s protests as I wrapped my good arm around her. “Hey ... it's okay girl. We got you out. Everything’s gonna be okay.” Blossom’s chest heaved as she buried her face into my uninjured shoulder, sobbing softly.

Rainbow stood back, her eyes nervously darting around the room. “Uh, guys? I get we’re all probably gonna need therapy after this, but maybe we should stop crying and get the heck outta here before—”

Several distant screeches echoed from one of the other tunnels.

“Yeah, that,” Rainbow finished.

“Aw, crap.” I should’ve known this nest was too big for just one bug-monster.

“Let's get Blossom out of here!” Rainbow shouted, rushing forward to grab her.

“And us.” I started hobbling for the exit as Rainbow helped Blossom get moving. “Let's get us out of here too.”

With that settled we started running as fast as we could. Well, not exactly running. Rainbow had to half-carry Blossom, and I was hobbling along on an injured foot, plus whenever I moved too fast my shoulder started twinging too. So less running, and more a rather quick stagger.

Considering the condition we were in, it was no surprise that the angry screeches of the bugs started getting closer and closer. Part of me hoped it was just the weird acoustics of these underground tunnels, but I knew that was just wishful thinking.

I looked back up the corridor, then down at my wounded foot. There were two inescapable conclusions. The bugs were gaining on us, and I was the slowest member of the group. “Rainbow, get Blossom out of here. I’m gonna try to buy you some time.”

“Huh? What’re you gonna—” Her eyes widened as she figured out what I was planning. “Like hell you are!”

“I'm slowing you two down.”

Rainbow growled and shook her head. “You think you're gonna slow them down? You couldn't slow down a boy scout troop right now!”

I glanced back down the tunnel again. “Gotta try. Better you two make it out than—”

“It. Ain't. Happening,” Rainbow growled at me. “Get your ass in gear before I have to kick it down the hall! All three of us are getting outta here, even if I have to drag you outta here by your ponytail!”

“You're too stubborn for your own good.” I suppose I should’ve known that Miss Loyalty wouldn’t go for my plan. And to be honest, it’s not like I was that upset that she wasn’t approving my plan to nobly sacrifice myself. I like living.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “No, I'm too awesome. Move your butt!”

With that settled there was nothing for it but to keep running. I moved as fast as I could, but the shrieks of the bug-creatures were getting louder and louder. A couple minutes later it sounded like they were right on top of us. “Rainbow!” I gasped out, “Please tell me we’re almost back to the school!”

“I...” Rainbow hesitated, and I knew that was almost certainly a bad sign. “I’ve mostly just been trying to go whichever way the bug noises aren’t coming from.”

“Oh.” To be honest, I’d been so focused on keeping myself moving despite the pain that I hadn’t exactly been paying close attention to exactly which direction we were moving in, or how that related to the route we’d used to get to the bug nest. “Guess this means we just flunked our battlefield navigation test.”

I did actually have a small compass, which could maybe point us in the right direction. Only problem was that it was in my right pocket. Getting anything out of there with my left hand while on the run from a horde of bugs would be ... well, maybe not impossible, but pretty hard. And even then, that would just give us some idea of what direction we were going in. Maybe.

“Any bright ideas on how we’re gonna get out of this one?” I gasped out.

“Working on it,” Dash grumbled, tossing a nervous look down the tunnel. It was dark, but I could swear I saw something moving back there.

If they were that close, we’d pretty much run out of time to come up with a plan. “Uh, Rainbow. Before we ... er, there’s something I wanna say.”

“Cloud, unless you’re about to say you’ve got a giant can of bug spray hidden under your skirt, I think it can wait until after we get outta here.”

“Rainbow, if we don’t make it—”

“We’re gonna make it!” she snapped. “Less talking, more running.”

We kept going, and soon I could clearly hear chitinous talons clicking on the pavement. I was briefly grateful for all the running drills Coach Spitfire put us through during soccer practice, not to mention my work with the Junior Cadets. Without all that training I probably would’ve dropped a long time ago.

After running for what felt like miles on my injured foot, I saw daylight. It took me a second to realize that I shouldn’t be seeing that, being in the basement, but the figure on the stairwell explained a lot. Honest to god, Uncle Typhoon’s sermons came to mind as a figure backlit by the sun stepped down into this hell.

“Get your ass on the ground!”

I never thought an angel would have Mom’s gruff bark, but then again…

I wrapped my good arm around Rainbow’s chest and let my legs go limp, dragging her and Blossom both down to the concrete. We hit a lot harder than I would’ve liked under normal circumstances, and Rainbow squirmed under my arm like she was about to whack me or something—which, again, would’ve been perfectly understandable under normal circumstances. Then Mom’s .45 roared in the hallway, echoes bouncing off of the wall and right into our ears as rounds zipped over us in the dark.

Rainbow and Blossom curled up against me on the floor as high-pitched skrees of pain followed the gunshots, along with angrier-sounding cries from the creatures. I heard the quick, familiar shick-klak of a fresh magazine slamming home, then more gunfire. A round or two echoed off of the walls way back behind us, but most hit home with a wet impact. Mom went through … three, maybe four magazines before the bug-things’ noises died away, and I only peeked up after after their cries started to fade in the distance.

“Can you walk?” The underslung flashlight made it impossible to see her face, but I knew she could see me. I nodded to her, and she grabbed my good hand, hauling me back up. “Get behind me and get out of here. Our exit’s twenty yards back, then a right turn and you should see it.”

I followed her instructions to the letter, and a couple minutes later we stumbled out into the open air. We weren’t under the school anymore—we weren’t even anywhere close to it. I would’ve asked how the heck Mom found us, but then I spotted Star in the backseat of Dad’s car. Guess her stalker app had some non-creepy uses after all.

Rainbow shot me a tired grin. “Told you we’d make it.”

“Yeah,” I grunted as Star opened the door for me, and flopped into the backseat with a groan that turned into a sigh of relief at finally getting off my injured foot. “Wake me when the ambulance gets here."

Happy Ending (Shut up, Kicker)

Thankfully I didn’t have to wait too long to get some proper medical care. Apparently we’d wound up halfway across town thanks to our little tunnel adventure. The paramedics did a pretty good job of patching me up, at least well enough to get me to the hospital.

I was lying in a stretcher, enjoying the wonderful absence of pain that accompanied hospital-grade narcotics when the back doors opened up. Rainbow clambered in, looking down at me with a slightly nervous smile. “Hey. How you holding up?”

“A lot better.” I grinned at her. “They gave me some awesome painkillers. Hope they're still working when I get stitched up.” I paused in thought for a moment, then amended, “Or stapled. I heard they use staples sometimes. Faster than stitches, but ... yeah.” I glanced down at the bloody remnants of Rainbow’s skirt, which the EMTs had taken off when they’d put proper bandages on me. “Uh ... sorry about your...”

Rainbow scoffed and waved a hand dismissively. “I can go buy a new skirt anywhere. It’s a lot harder to buy a new Cloud.” She took a seat on my left side. “You are gonna be okay, right?”

“Yeah. Can’t be completely sure until the docs look at me, but the paramedics said it should just be a matter of cleaning and closing everything up then giving me some time to heal. Plus it looks like I might get to be roomies with Blossom.” I twinged a little bit at that, since my rubber-legs collapse had brought her down headfirst onto the ground. Still, Blossom had been coherent enough to complain about her headache ever since we got out of the tunnels, and the EMTs told me that was a good sign.

“Oh. Good.” Rainbow shifted in her seat. “I mean, she’ll probably feel better with a friend there.” She cleared her throat. “So, uh, Sunset and the others are gonna be here soon. Not sure if your mom got all the bugs, so we’re gonna do the whole rainbow laser thing just to make sure. Your Dad said he’d ... uh ... cover us. Oh, and from the pics I sent her, Sunset said those things were probably from Equestria. Something called changelings.”

“Oh, gotcha.” I certainly wasn’t going to complain about them making sure the bu—changelings were all dealt with. One run-in with them was enough for me.

“Any idea how long you’ll be in for?” Rainbow asked.

I shrugged with one shoulder. “Can’t say for sure until the docs look me over, but they'll probably just stitch me up, maybe give me a little extra blood, then hold me overnight just to make sure there’s no nasty surprises.”

“Oh. I guess that’s not so bad.” She tried to smile, but after a second it slipped off her face and her gaze fell to the floor, her feet scuffing along it. “Sorry ... don't ... I don't really know what to even say here. I mean, I'm used to being in the middle of all this stuff, but seeing you get caught up in it and hurt...”

“Hey.” I tried to sit up a bit so I could look her in the eyes. “It’s alright. I'm—well I can’t really say I’m okay while I’m sitting in the back of an ambulance, but it’s nothing they can’t fix. Gimme a week or two to heal up, and I’ll be right back out on the soccer field with you.”

“Good, you’re one of my best players.” She hesitated a moment, then slowly reached out to put one her hands over my good one. “So ... uh ... I heard there's a new Alien Robot Ninjas versus Psychic Vampire Pirates movie coming out. I know the last one was pretty cool, so I was thinking ... you know, if you wanna...”

I gently took her hand and squeezed it. “Sounds good.” Not that I could call those movies good in any sense of the word, but they usually entertained us. “So are we going there with anyone else, or is it kinda…?”

“Uh...” She hesitated and coughed. “You mean like a date-ish kinda thing?”

“Yeah.” I could feel my cheeks warming up. “Something like that.”

“Well...” Her cheeks were going pink too. “Yeah. You aren't getting rid of me that easy.”

I chuckled wearily. “Oh, I'm stuck with you now?”

“Darn straight.” She carefully poked me in the side. “You owe me a new skirt.”

“Why?” I angled my head to get a better view. Without the skirt all she had on was her bike shorts, which were both tight and ... well, short. Not to mention they’d picked up a few tears during our little excursion. “I like your current look.”

Rainbow scoffed softly and shook her head. “You would.”

“Well duh.” I chuckled and poked her in the belly. “Like you said back in the tunnels, I’m your girlfriend. Which means that not only am I allowed to look and like it, but it’d actually be kinda weird if I didn’t like looking at you.”

“I guess, yeah.” She smirked at me. “Well if you want to do more looking—or anything else—you'll have to get better soon.”

I pouted. “So you're not gonna come visit me?”

Rainbow grinned and leaned forward a bit. “Depends.”

I used my good arm to help sit a bit more. “On?”

“Well I'm not a big fan of hospitals. I'd need some sort of...” She move in so close I could barely see anything but her face. “Incentive.”

I grinned and pursed my lips. “Well, I could go for that...”

Rainbow reached over and grabbed my hair, pulling my head up to hers. I got about a third of the way through a yelp when she meshed her lips with mine; it was awkward, and a little painful given all of my injuries … and yet…

It was awesome.

I kissed her back, cradling her cheek in my hand. Sure it was weird and … weird, but after the hell we’d just walked out of, it felt good. Great, even. Even the first time in the locker room, I’d never felt this ... alive.

Just when things were really heating up, someone pointedly cleared their throat. Then I saw Mom standing at ambulance door, looking at us both with a single raised eyebrow. Rainbow leapt back from me with a startled yelp, her face bearing a distinct resemblance to a tomato. “Uh, hey Mrs. Kicker! I was just ... uh ... helping Cloud with a ... there was a thing in her...”

“I think I know exactly what you two were doing,” Mom shot back dryly. She looked back and forth between the two of us, let out a grunt, then turned back to Rainbow. “You saw what I did to those creatures in the tunnel, yes?”

Rainbow’s face quickly shifted from red to white. “Y-yeah...”

Mom nodded sharply. “Then you know what I do when someone hurts my daughter.” She slammed the ambulance doors shut.

Rainbow swallowed and sank down next to me. “Uh, Cloud? Your Mom’s kinda scary. Awesome, but scary.”

I smirked and poked her in the side. “You know, they say if you wanna know what your girlfriend will be like in twenty years, look at her mom...”

Rainbow chuckled weakly. “Well, at least I won’t get bored with you.”

I poked her again, grinning. “You better not.”

“Bah.” Rainbow glanced down at her phone. “So, uh, Sunset says she’ll be here in five minutes. Guess that means we can—”

My lips interrupted her before she could finish that sentence.

Author's Note

As always, thanks to my pre-reading and editing team for all their hard work. Also, I would like to thank all my dedicated Patreon supporters. You guys are awesome.

Also, all my pre-readers want there to be an actual Alien Robot Ninjas versus Psychic Vampire Pirates movie, starring Danny Trejo and Bruce Campbell. It would be glorious.

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