THE NIGHT SHALL LAST FOR TEN SECONDS!

by TheMajorTechie

Rating: everyone
Tags: Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna, Comedy, Random, Derpy Hooves, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1823

Luna's snapped a second time now, going all "Nightmare Moon" and stuff like that. The thing is, she was hit in the face with a brick just a few hours ago.

A brick. A mailmare. A princess. The three meet in a tragic accident, which results in an awkward conversation between said mailmare and princess.

Specifically, Luna wants the night to last forever... and by forever, she means ten seconds.

Published 2016-09-01 00:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-01 00:10:01 UTC

The "Tragic Accident"

Luna hummed a little tune to herself as she strolled down the empty street. It wasn't very common for Princesses these days to really have time to themselves, and she was intent on the idea of taking advantage of every. Single. Second.

"Watch out!"

Luna's ears perked up, catching the warning. Suddenly, from the corner of her eye, Luna saw bricks. Like, an entire pile of them. All falling straight towards her face.

Sadly, she wasn't able to dodge in time. Derpy covered her eyes in terror as she felt her sack's weight empty out onto the Princess below. She had been delivering bricks for a commercial arts building in Canterlot, and the 'upper management' decided that a single-layered sack would be enough to carry a small load of bricks for the decorative trimming on the building.

As Luna tried her best to dodge as many bricks as possible, she remembered that she was an alicorn.

Oh yeah... she thought as she formed a magical shield above her head, smiling as she heard the plinking sound of bricks harmlessly bouncing off.

Derpy sighed in relief, and checked her torn bag to make sure that there weren't any bricks left. She then flew downwards, and landed besides Luna.

"S-Sorry, Luna!" She stammered, a nervous grin plastered across her face.

Luna smiled in return.

"Not to worry, um..."

"Derpy. Derpy Hooves. But I've got a lot of other names, too, like Bubbles, Muffins..."

Luna dropped the smile.

"Okay, Derpy. I get what you mean. Now, if you don't mind, I've got to leave now. I mustn't attract any undue attention."

Derpy saluted, and flew back into the air. Luna sighed and continued on her way, oblivious to the fact that Derpy had left to get the next load of bricks, forgetting that her bag was torn.

"Watch yo head lady, or yer gonna lose it before ya even notice..."

Derpy glared at the stallion in confusion. How would she lose her head? All she did was hit in on several hanging decorations on her way towards the delivery pick-up section of the store. It's not like she broke anything yet or--

The stallion's jaw dropped in surprise as he watched the entire ceiling behind Derpy cave in from the rocking motion of the various chandeliers that Derpy had flown into.

"Uh... muffin?" Derpy asked, pulling a crusty muffin from her bag.

"Nah, missy. Ah've got a lot more ta do now."

The stallion grunted, and began making his way towards the janitorial closet for a broom.

Derpy's eyes darted about the remaining section of the building, searching for the bricks she was ordered to deliver.

Ah, there they are, you little pudgemuffins, she thought as she flew towards the ACME Brick Station.

A gentle breeze rolled over the hills, followed by the light chirping of birds in the air. Luna lay sprawled over a park bench, mindlessly PWN-ing noobs in an intense PVP match.

"YEAH, EAT MY PLOT!" She suddenly yelled, breaking the peaceful silence. Just moments prior, she had managed to find a weakness in her opponent's tactics, allowing her to send an undercover mage right into their throne room, where said mage then proceeded to destroy everything with a literal wave of a hoof.

Luna sighed, and readjusted her headphones, preparing for her next match, when a brick suddenly crushed her tablet.

"What the--"

She was cut off by the rest of the bricks as they began hammering her skull.

Up above, Derpy, checked her now-empty bag again, and then shrugged.

"Sorry Luna! I just don't know what went wrong!!!"

No response.

Derpy flew down, and poked the unconscious princess with a muffin.

"C'mon, Luna, wake up! I accidentally dropped bricks on you! GET UP!"

She proceeded to force Luna's mouth open, and stuff the muffin inside.

"There, Luna, you're not hungry anymore! Can you please help me get these bricks to the contractor now? I'm already late, and I don't wanna be fired again!"

Silence... aside from a few bricks tumbling to the ground.

"Luna?"

Derpy hurriedly flew away, a paper bag on her head to keep her identity as Luna's murderer concealed.

A few minutes later, Luna awoke, the bricks falling to the ground around her as she stretched her back.

"Eh... what happened?" Luna mumbled, scratching her brick dust-covered head.

She saw the remnants of her headphones scattered across the ground in the rubble. She shrugged, since she could always get new ones using Celestia's card.

Suddenly, she noticed her horrifically cracked tablet laying on the ground a few feet away, the screen still glowing brightly with the action of the game.

Luna lunged towards the tablet, remembering the match that she had started minutes ago.

"No..." she gasped, glaring at the bolded 'FAILURE' that spanned the screen.

"NO, NO NO NO NO NO NO NONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Luna chucked her tablet at a nearby couple who were resting in a tree's branches, and stormed off towards Canterlot Castle.

"TIA!" Luna hollered, slamming the door open and crushing a guard in the process, "CAN I GO CRAZY AND TRY TO OPPRESS PONYKIND AGAIN?"

Celestia raised an eyebrow, her cup of tea still gently hovering in her grasp.

"Sister? What do you mean?"

Luna frowned.

"Some idiot decided it would be funny to ruin my perfect record on Ogres and Oubliettes PVP."

Celestia exhaled loudly, rubbing her temple with a hoof.

"Luna..." she began, "one does not simply PWN noobs without getting payback.

Luna froze.

"Wait... that was you that defeated me?!"

Celestia stuck her tongue out and waved her own tablet in her sister's face.

"Yep!"

Luna began raging.

"WHY YOU LITTLE... YOU... AGH!"

Celestia sipped her tea in response.

"AGH!" Luna screamed, and flew through the doors, not caring about the fact that she had bowled over several more guards in the process.

Celestia swallowed the tea, and dropped the cup on the head of her nearest guard.

"Could you refill my cup?"

One Day Later, Ponyville~~~

Princess Luna lay silently in her casket, a gentle smile on her face. Twilight stood behind the casket, a copy of the "Official Book of Equestria's Generic Religion" lay on the stand she stood at.

"Today, we mourn the loss of a dear Princess of Equestria." She began, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Princess Luna was with us for all but a few years, and in her time, she had been not only the first pony on the moon, but the first pony to experience technology from the human world firsthan--hoof."

"Luna was killed by a strong blow to the head, seemingly from a heavy object. We're still desperately searching for the culprit to this very second."

Derpy shrunk back, slipping the paper bag back over her head.

There was a solemn murmuring throughout the large crowd, when suddenly, a hoof shot from the casket.

"THE NIGHT SHALL LAST FO--"

Twilight, surprised at Luna's sudden awakening, grabbed a brick out of instinct and smashed it into the Princess's face as hard as she could.

"OW!"

Twilight shrieked, and slowly peeked into the casket.

Luna wasn't only alive, but well. In fact, the only sign of injury she had now was a large indent in her face from the brick.

"Oh, sorry, Princess, sorry, sorry! Please don't buck me to the moon..."

Luna shook her head, her eyes drifting from focus.

"Th- teh nite shull last... ten minutes!" She murmured, slumping over onto the ground.

Author's Note

Derpy, a proud citizen of Muffin Nation.

Also, :trollestia:

Watch out for 'dem bricks... and Projectile Princesses...

This'll be a two-chapter fic. :twilightsmile:

...It Shall Be The Ten Minute-- I Mean SECOND Night!

"...Ten minutes?" Twilight asked, poking the unconscious princess with a stick.

Suddenly, Luna's eyes snapped open again, and she grabbed the stick.

"DiD i sAY mINuTeS???"

Twilight frowned.

"Yes?"

Luna burst out in a fit of cackling laughter, and pointed the stick at Twilight.

"YOu foOl!!! I aM tHe NigHT, AnD tHE nIgHt MuSt LaST FOrEver!!!"

Twilight groaned in response.

"Really, Luna? This again?"

Luna continued cackling until she was overtaken by coughs.

"Ahem. What I mean is," she continued, straightening her posture, "a true lover of the night must experience the night for as long. As. POSSIBLE."

"And that means?"

Luna counted her hooves, her tongue sticking out from the corner of her mouth.

"Ehhhhh... four, no... TEN seconds! THE NIGHT SHALL LAST FOR TEN SECONDS, AND YOU WILL ALL FEAR ME!!!"

Rainbow Dash leaned towards Pinkie, and whispered, "Are you sure Luna's sane?"

Pinkie shook her head, smacking Rainbow Dash with a flying brick in the process.

"Ow, Pinkie." Rainbow said, rubbing her cheek. "Where did you get a brick?!"

Pinkie shrugged, and pointed at Derpy, who was still attempting to haul a sack of bricks to the site, dropping several bricks onto the ponies below in the process.

"Oh."

Luna now wore a mismatched outfit of leaves and woven grass, wrapped about her body with masking tape.

"WE COMMAND THEE TO SMOOCH OUR BEAUTIFUL DRESS."

Twilight grabbed hold of Luna in her magic, and smacked her on each cheek.

"LUNA! You're going crazy right now, don't you see? WAKE UP!"

Two more smacks.

Luna struggled against Twilight's hold.

"OUR SISTER SHOULD NEVER HAVE PERFORMED THE RITUAL ON YOU- YOU TRAITOR! ONCE THE NIGHT OF TEN SECONDS BEFALLS THIS LAND, YOU SHALL HANG BY YOUR TAIL!"

Twilight cocked her head.

"What?"

She proceeded to sigh, and asked, "Y'know, Luna, why a ten second night? I mean, that's not even close to anything that would really panic anyone here."

"SILENCE, FOOL! TEN SECONDS IS NEAR AN ETERNITY! IF WE HAD MERCY ON YOUR PITIFUL LITTLE SUN, WE WOULD'VE SHORTENED THE NIGHT TO TEN DAYS!"

Twilight facehoofed. "Stop it with the 'we', Luna. We're not in the middle ages anymore."

"SHADDUP!"

Suddenly, a brick volleyed out of the sky, smacking Twilight square in the face.

Derpy landed once again, a nervous grin spreading from cheek to cheek.

"Um... sorry?"

Suddenly, Pinkie lunged out from the crowd.

"DERPY!" she hollered, "YOU HURT MY FRIEND. NOW YOU MUST PAY!"

She whipped a brick from her mane, and charged at the mare.

"A BRICK FOR A BRI--"

Pinkie was lifted off the ground in Twilight's aura.

"Pinkie. That's enough."

"But... but that meany Derpy hit you with a brick!"

Twilight shoved a hoof in Pinkie's mouth.

"I said, enough."

Luna rose from her position on the ground, and walked towards Pinkie.

"Pinkie, don't you understand that all this is a prank? I mean, seriously. Did you not notice the thin shield we've had on all this time? It's all just an act."

Pinkie smirked diabolically.

"An act, you say?"

Ten seconds later, the sky was dark. Two princesses lay unconscious, brick marks across their faces.

Celestia sipped her tea.

Good job, Pinkie. That'll teach 'em.