Forty-Two Troublesome Trixies
Spike sat in the dining room, digging into his twentieth comic book of the day. He couldn’t believe his luck. Twilight had to go take care of princess duties, and for once didn't need him. Since Twilight found a way to fit it into Starlight’s lessons, she took her along to act as her assistant instead. That meant he had the entire castle to himself for the first time since it was built.
He couldn’t believe his luck! Now maybe he could catch up on Power Ponies. He had heard there was a strange issue where the Mane-iac snuck in and met some weird ape version of herself. He had to know what that was about.
He went from panel to panel, the only thing keeping him from completely losing himself was the sound of the coffee maker working on the counter. Twilight might like tea, but he always preferred the strong stuff. In just another few moments it would be ready and...
“There you are!” a voice suddenly rang through the castle. Spike jumped half a foot into the air, landing on the floor. His heart pounded as the source of the noise came up to him.
“You. Where is Starlight?”
It took another few seconds for Spike to gather his bearings and realize who was speaking. “Trixie? What are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here? Silly dragon, Trixie is here to visit Starlight. Her caravan rolled into town, and she hardly needs a reason to visit her friend.”
“Well, why didn’t you knock?”
“Trixie did. Several times. For ten minutes. Honestly, Trixie wouldn’t expect you to hear her all the way up here, but what kind of princess castle doesn’t even have a door guard?”
Spike opened his mouth. “...A good question,” he said.
“Exactly. Twilight Sparkle has so many other luxuries. Like that icebox!” she motioned over to a large appliance sitting there. “How can she have enough ice to constantly keep it cold?”
“It’s not an icebox, it’s a refrigerator,” he said. “New invention. Powered by ice crystals imported from the Crystal Empire.”
“See! And what’s that?” she demanded, pointing to the coffee maker.
“Instant coffee maker. Powered by Unicorn magic. Twilight gave it a good charge before she left.”
“See! All these luxuries, and not one security guard? What sense does that make?”
“Got me. But at any rate, you’re out of luck. Twilight took Starlight to the Crystal Empire for her studies. They won’t be back until tomorrow.”
“Well that’s inconvenient,” Trixie said, sitting in another chair. “Trixie had a new spell she needed to test. How can she shine without her favorite assistant?”
“...Did I miss the part where I said you were welcome to come in and sit down?” Spike said.
“Is this not the Castle of Friendship? Are you not going to show me friendship?” Trixie said, picking up a comic book and looking at it. “Such juvenile readings. I would think a child in Twilight Sparkle’s care would be given better literature.”
The only reason Spike didn’t tighten his fist is because he didn’t want to crinkle his comic. “Look, what spell did you even need to try out, anyway? I doubt Twilight would be happy with you using her student as a test dummy.”
“Well, Trixie needs to try out a duplication spell. I was going to try it out on Starlight.”
Spike paused, then burst out laughing.
Trixie huffed. “What’s so funny?”
“A duplication spell? Please. Twilight still hasn’t gotten that one, and she’s an Alicorn, and a genius on top of that. Celestia says she’ll need another ten years. You think you can do it?”
“Of course. Trixie is Great and Powerful, after all.”
Spike rolled his eyes, but before he could say anything in response, the coffee maker chimed up. Spike turned toward the pot, smiling and licking his lips in anticipation.
“Ah, Trixie smells coffee. Pour her a cup.”
“What do I look like, a servant?”
“...Aren’t you? You seem to do a lot of work for Twilight Sparkle.”
“I’m her assistant, not her servant! And that means I don’t fetch coffee for anypony else, especially not an unwanted guest.” He hopped off his seat and headed for the pot. “Why don’t you get out?”
“Or what? You’ll call the non-existent guards on Trixie?”
Spike gritted his teeth as he got the stepladder and climbed to his prize. “Or I could get Rainbow Dash and Applejack. They’d kick you out.”
“Trixie is not leaving until she gets a chance to try out her duplication spell.”
“Then test it.” Spike was so angry that he nearly spilled the coffee into the mug decorated with the words World’s Best Assistant. “Pick something and just test it, then get out!”
“Fine. You’ll do.”
Spike froze. “What the?” He quickly turned to see Trixie levitating a book and grinning. She lit up her horn. Spike held his hands up defensively. “No, no, wait!”
Trixie fired her spell. It hit Spike... and then immediately bounced off and began ricocheting all over the room. Trixie yelped and ducked under the table as the spell bounced like a Pinball, with Spike doing the same.
“As I was trying to tell you, we dragons are naturally immune to magic. Twilight has to put extra enhancements in all her spells for them to work on me. And this castle came straight from the Tree of Harmony, it is impossible to alter.”
“Well why didn’t you tell Trixie sooner? This is your fau...”
Trixie was cut off, because at that point the spell hit the floor near the table, bounced up, and struck her.
“Ahh!” she yelled, seemingly more from surprise than pain. Then, her cry was silenced as she glowed brightly. Finally, like she was made of glass, she shattered into dozens of pieces.
Spike could only gape at the sight of all the little Trixie shards on the floor. Just when his brain was starting to tell him that Trixie was dead, the shards started to quiver.
They slowly grew bigger, growing legs, faces, and manes, each of which were covered in their own tiny hats and capes.
Within ten seconds, there were several little Trixies, all about the size of a rat, all looking at Spike with curiosity.
Spike could only gape. He closed his eyes, hoping it was all a bad dream. When he opened his eyes, they were still there.”
“...Trixie!” one of them said.
“Trixie! Trixie! Trixie! Trixie! Trixie! Trixie! Trixie! Trixie! Trixie! Trixie! Trixie! Trixie!” they all cried in unison, all bouncing up and down excitedly.
Spike blinked, then tried speaking. “Okay... Trixies... I know you’re excited, but I have to ask you all calm down...”
All this accomplished was getting the Trixies to change their chant. They all started saying different things at once.
“Books! Books! Books!” several yelled.
“Diary! Diary!” two more yelled.
“Swim! Swim!”
“Library! Library!”
“Throne! Throne!”
“Bed! Bed!”
And then, all at once, the Trixies, which numbered in the forties, ran in different directions.
Spike jumped and sprung at them, hoping to catch at least one of them. The small ponies were surprisingly nimble, slipping through his claws. He got a hold of one, wrapping his claws around its torso and holding it up.
“Alright, look, it... ow!”
The small Trixie bit him on the finger, causing him to swing his arm and let go. The Trixie went sailing, landing on the table. As Spike rubbed his smarting finger, the rest of them ran out.
Spike’s mind started racing, wondering what to do.
“Sink! Sink!”
Spike jumped and turned around. Three Trixies were still in the room, having scaled the counter with surprising dexterity. They were at the sink, turning both handles and allowing the water to pour in.
“Hey! No! No! No!”
He ran for the sink, only to be foiled by his short size. He started for the stepladder when he stopped. His common sense was starting to override his panic.
What would he do if he caught Trixie? Where would he put her?
He looked around, and eventually found the book he was looking for, the same one Trixie had cast the spell from. He picked it up and scanned the text. While he wasn’t a genius, years of being Twilight’s assistant had at least taught him how to follow most technical aspects of magic, so it didn’t take him long to understand what was going on.
Trixie had made an ameatur mistake of trying to pour too much effort into the spell. The reason this was such a difficult spell to cast wasn’t because it required a lot of magic, though it did. The real trick was knowing how to distribute the magic properly.
Trixie had failed to do so, and it resulted in more copies than intended. And since it also split up Trixie’s brainpower, it left her copies rather single-minded.
This wasn’t good.
He found the answer to the problem soon enough. If he could round all the copies up in one place for a full minute, the spell would reverse, and then Trixie would come together.
He looked at the Trixies. They had finished filling the sink, and had set up a spatula near the water that they were using as a diving board. One was floating on a sponge like a water hammock.
They didn’t seem like they were doing anything too harmful. Hoping that would be the case, he set the book down, fled the kitchen, and headed to the lab.
By the time he reached the lab, the possibility that the Trixies would get out of the castle occurred to him, and he dismissed it. The door was too big for them to open, and all entrances they could reach were sealed shut. It would be impossible for them to get out.
It didn’t take him long to find what he was looking for, a large glass cage that was used to house specimens. It was too big for him to move, but thankfully it was empty.
Then he went through Twilight’s closet and picked out a few nets and some glass jars, fashioning them around a belt he wore on his waist. It was time for some Trixie hunting.
First, he went to the library. Twilight had said she valued her books more than any other possession, so it made sense to start there. Anything happened to Twilight’s books, and he’d have another problem on his claws.
He peeked into the library, and sure enough there were several Trixies running around, and equally sure enough they were making a mess. Several were taking down books from the shelves, looking at the covers, then moving on to another. The callous way the books were being treated would have given Twilight a heart attack.
Spike ran up to one that was on the shelf, kicking books off one at a time, and threw the net over it. She immediately went wild, lighting up her horn and trying to zap free. “Captured! Captured! Captured!” it cried, but utterly failed to make any progress. Luckily, Twilight The Over-Prepared had made her nets magic-proof.
The captured Trixie kicked and squirmed, but found herself in a glass jar. There were air holes, of course, but nothing that would allow the little Trixie to escape.
Suddenly several small little magical zaps hit him at once. Spike yelped, feeling like he was stung by bees. The Trixies were all looking at him, their horns lit up.
“Free! Free! Free! Free!” they all cried, and let go with another round of zaps.
Spike yelped in pain and stumbled back. Combined with the bright light from all the magical zaps disorienting him, he ended up falling on his back.
Before he could get to his feet he felt several tiny ropes cover him. He struggled, but the ropes tightened. The little Trixies were on top of him, their little ropes holding him in place.
“Capture! Capture! Capture!” the chant went on.
Spike struggled.
“Slay! Slay! Slay!”
Spike stopped, his pupils shrinking in fear. “Wha?”
Suddenly, five Trixies crawled up onto his stomach. They all looked down at him victoriously.
“Great! Great! Great!” Three of them chanted.
“Powerful! Powerful! Powerful!”
“Oh brother... wait, what are you...”
His fear came from the fact that each of the five Trixies had levitated a feather toward Spike, and all were wearing devious grins.
“...No, no, please...”
But it was no use. The tiny Unicorns all dug their feathers into his side, on his feet, and on his belly. The tiny dragon burst out laughing and crying, desperately trying to break free.
He eventually got his claw to cut through the ropes. The Trixies, seeing this, tried to scatter, but Spike swept them up in one claw. He then grabbed a net which had fallen nearby and tossed them in, Twisting the net shut and locking in the Trixies, who were all screaming “Help! Help! Help!”
Unfortunately for Spike, the Trixies got help in the form of another Trixie kicking a book off the shelf and onto him. A hardcover copy of Star Swirl: A Biography hit him on the head. He cried in pain and stumbled, but managed to hold onto his prize. He looked up just in time to avoid a copy of The Quotations of Clover the Clever, then Harry Trotter and the Order of the Phoenix, and then The Death and Return of the Masked Matter-Horn.
He looked up, and his eyes widened to see The Complete History of the Wonderbolts about to hit him. Acting on impulse, he filled his lungs and let loose a breath of dragon fire, burning the book to ashes.
Celestia sat on her throne, enjoying a cup of tea. For once, there had been no trouble. No idiotic nobles demanding money for pet projects, no enemies of the state attacking Equestria, nothing escaping Tartarus. Things were nice and simple.
Then, a flash of dragon fire caused Celestia to jump in surprise. When she looked up, a large book struck her on the head.
She swayed a bit before falling to the ground.
“Ha! You missed... agh!”
He dove out of the way in time to avoid The Magical Compendium, Volumes 1-36. It hit the floor, which immediately gave way and left a book-shaped hole in the floor, the thick tome falling another story.
The Trixie laughed and fell onto her back, apparently finding it hysterical.
Spike huffed. He used the fallen tomes to pin the net filled with the crying Trixies to the floor before scaling the shelf and snatching the still laughing Trixie.
Before he could do anything else, he felt his back get zapped by the other Trixies. Grunting and grinding his breath from the constant stings, he pulled himself up on the shelf, which was big enough to allow him to stand.
What he saw was ridiculous, and this was coming from someone who knew the Spirit of Chaos personally. Several Trixies had ripped pages out of one of the books, folded them into paper airplanes, and were somehow flying them, circling the air and firing magical blasts at him.
“Hey, stop! Stop!... Ow! That hurt! Stop! Stop! AAAAAAARGH!”
Spike leapt into the air and smashed a paper airplane, causing it to go spiraling out of control and plummet to the ground. The Trixie rolled out, dazed but otherwise unharmed.
Still, the other Trixies kept coming, and Spike decided to try climbing down. As long as he was up here he risked falling. So he placed his captive in a glass jar and began descending. He moved quick enough, ignoring the tiny jabs at his back.
He grabbed the dazed Trixie on the ground and placed her in another jar. Then he looked up to see the airplane Trixies all coming toward him.
Seeing this, Spike decided to go for broke and blew a small stream from his fire breath. He had never done something precision-based, but he still did a fairly good job, hitting each of the four planes and burning them away.
The four Trixies fell to the ground, and Spike caught them all, placing them in their own jars, squeezing two into the same.
At that point, the remaining Trixies ran out of the room. Spike let them go. He had too many Trixies already. He needed to unload them at Twilight’s lab.
Spike moaned as he walked through the castle. He needed to find the other Trixies before...
“Diary! Diary! Diary!”
Spike stopped, hearing the sound. He realized it was coming out of Twilight’s bedroom. He quickly went in. Five Trixies were on the bed, gathered around something and looking happy.
“Hey! Hey! Get away from that!”
The Trixies jumped and ran in different directions. Spike ran to the bed, seeing what they had been looking at.
He saw it had been another book, and he really wished he hadn’t. Because on the pages, written in Twilight’s hornwriting, was the name Flash Sentry several times, all with hearts integrated into the words in varyingly clever ways.
“...I knew that stupid human body affected her more than she let on,” he mumbled, placing the diary on the nightstand.
“Crush! Crush! Crush!” the Trixies chanted. Then three started making kissing noises while the other two laughed.
Luckily that paralyzed them long enough for Spike to grab them.
He found another three Trixies in the family room, drawing mustaches and glasses on all the picture frames. That included his favorite one of when he was just a little hatchling.
He jumped at them, only for the three Trixies to run. Angrily, he chased after them, running to the entrance of the room.
He didn’t see the rope until it was too late. Two more Trixies pulled it straight, and he fell forward on his face.
The five Trixies all laughed at this, Spike rose and glared at them. Then, he grinned. “Figures you’d have to resort to those stupid tricks, Trixie. I mean, Twilight would have gotten me already, but I guess you’re not as good as her.”
The Trixies all stopped and glared at him. In a fit of rage, they jumped in unison at him.
Spike had the net waiting for them when they got close enough.
He caught four Trixies trashing a bathroom by spreading toilet paper around, three more making a mess of Twilight’s favorite telescope, and a whopping ten nibbling at things in the pantry. All counted up, he had caught thirty Trixies so far. He had to be close to done now.
He decided to go back to the kitchen to catch the Trixies who had been swimming in the sink.
When he arrived in the kitchen, he saw two things that greatly disturbed him.
The first was that the Trixies were no longer swimming in the sink, and they had neglected to turn off the faucet. It was overflowing, pouring down the edge of the counter in a waterfall and leaving the floor covered in water.
The second was the reason the Trixies were no longer in the sink. They were all sitting on the rim of the coffee cup that he had poured, their rears stuck in the air. Loud slurping sounds were heard from within the cup.
He moved quickly, but tried to stay as quiet as he could with the water sloshing around his feet. He managed to get to his stepladder and climb up it.
Then he saw something that sent a shiver down his spine. The coffee pot he had poured his cup from was empty as well. As were several bags of coffee grinds that he hadn’t opened.
When the Trixies looked up, they were now vibrating faster than Rainbow Dash on a sugar high. And they all looked at Spike with wide eyes.
“...Trixie?”
“TrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixieTrixie...”
And then five tiny ponies rammed into Spike, sending him back onto the wet floor. The Trixies started running at high speeds around the water, casting up waves, all while chatting so fast, the individual “Trixie!”s they were shouting merged into one syllable.
Spike starting running, but ended up falling on his rear thanks to the slippery floor. After some difficulty, he pushed himself forward, moving like he was skating on ice. Unfortunately, he wasn’t very agile on the ice, and ended up missing every Trixie thanks to their quick speed and his difficulty turning.
Finally, he came up with an idea. He skated his way over to the refrigerator and opened up the freezer, searching through its innards. It took some digging, made all the more unpleasant by his cold-blooded nature, but he finally found one of the ice crystals that kept it cold.
With his prize in hand, he skated back to the stepladder and climbed onto the first step. Then, taking a deep breath, he tossed the crystal onto the floor.
In a flash the crystal shattered, and the water froze over. The Trixies, suddenly losing their traction, skidded until they hit the counters, walls, or whatever.
Smiling, Spike jumped on the ice, digging the claws on his toes into it for traction. From here, it was simple to round up the stunned Trixies. He placed them all in the net.
“Finally.” He slung the net over his back and went for the stepladder. He used it to turn off the sink. This was a mess, and there was likely water damage, but he couldn’t worry about that now.
As he walked out of the room, taking time to wipe his feet on the carpet near the entrance (it would need to be replaced anyway, what was a little more?), he felt the bag on his back start to move around. He started to move faster. He needed to get to the lab before...
“TRIXIE!”
Spike froze. No...
And then, there was a large flash of magic light, Spike jumped, dropping the bag on the floor. Panicking he turned around and grabbed the net.
The good news was that he managed to get a hold of it before any of the Trixies got out.
The bad news is that, now that they had hoofs on the ground, they had the means to run. Which they did.
Spike was pulled off his feet, but he managed to keep his grip on the net. He slid along on his belly, which thankfully was armored enough that Spike wasn’t harmed.
Still, the Trixies ended up being remarkably fast, streaking through the halls and dragging Spike behind them.
Spike desperately tried to gain traction, digging his toe claws into the floor, but only succeeded in scuffing it. It kept going, and going, and going, until finally it entered a new room.
It was after hitting the bed that Spike realized that they were in Starlight’s room. The little ones kept struggling, trying to run under the bed. But Spike was too big, and he finally had the traction to fight back.
He pulled, managing to get on his feet and lift the bag up, robbing the Trixies of their traction. He lifted the Trixies up to face level.
“I’ve got you now, you...”
And then every Trixie lit their horns up again, causing a bright flash. Yelping, he dropped the bag, and the several Trixies scattered.
He moaned and cleared his eyes. Once he had his bearings straight, he saw the little Trixies, running around and tearing up everything in the room, ripping things up.
Spike quickly ran and shut the door, locking the Trixies inside. This wasn’t good. He needed a plan.
After a moment, he had an idea.
First, he ran back to the lab to get another net, then he dug into the supply room and pulled out a few tent poles. Then, he ran to the front entrance of the castle and set everything up.
When he got back to the outside of Starlight’s room, he could hear the Trixies jumping around inside, still causing trouble.
Taking a deep breath, he opened the door a crack and shouted, “Hey, Trixies, Twilight’s back, and she’s going to kick...”
The reaction was immediate. The five Trixies slammed into the door, knocking it into Spike. The little dragon was sent onto his back as the little ponies sped over him. He quickly got up, ignoring his smarting parts; it was worth it to catch these troublemakers.
The five Trixies, barely watching where they were going, ran at top mini-Trixie speed toward the castle entrance.
They didn’t see what was waiting for them until it was too late.
They ran face-first into the net. Almost immediately, due to the high speed, the tent poles holding it up collapsed, falling to the ground and trapping them in the net.
Before they could wiggle free, Spike grabbed the net and bunched it up, lifting it away from the floor. Like before, the Trixies let out a bright light. This time, Spike merely smiled behind his shades.
Spike came into the lab, breathing hard from exhaustion. The formally caffeinated Trixies had crashed, and were now snoozing soundly. He opened up the container and stuck them all in, ignoring the still active Trixies shouting, “Free! Free! Free!”
He sighed. “Okay... I hope that’s all of them.”
“It is.”
Spike jumped a foot into the air and turned around. Discord was sitting there, having somehow escaped notice before now. He was relaxing in a hammock held up by nothing, a large book labeled A Brief History of Time in upside-down letters in his lion’s paw and a set of reading glasses on his face.
“Discord... how long have you been here?”
“Since Trixie cast her spell.” He ripped out a page and stuffed it in his mouth. He chewed a bit, then pulled out a perfectly folded paper crane.
“Then why didn’t...?” He held up an index claw. “I almost asked you why you didn’t help me.”
Discord burst out laughing. “Young Spike, you know me so well!” He stuffed another page into his mouth, and spit out a paper airplane. He watched it fly around. “Kind of amazed ponies invented paper airplanes before the real thing.”
Spike growled. “But you’re sure all the Trixies are here?”
“Oh yes. I even poofed in a few for you. All you have to do is wait and let them converge. Hopefully for Luna, it will be soon.”
“Princess Luna? ...Wait... wait...” He turned his attention to the sleeping Trixies. “Oh boy...”
Luna felt her eye twitch as another Trixie used her ethereal mane as a swinging rope while another bounced on her head, and two more ran relay races up and down her back.
“Trixie! Trixie! Trixie!” They were all wearing their old regalia.
Meanwhile, as dictated by their dream realm, Luna was wearing a paper bag on her head and a clown’s frills on her neck.
“Got any threes?” Discord asked.
“We’re playing poker,” Spike said.
“Right, I always get those confused,” the Spirit of Chaos said, putting down his cards. “King me!”
“...You really don’t learn the rules of anything, do you?”
“Rules are order, for which I have no need.”
At that moment, the glass prison that held the little Trixies began shaking, and the many little ponies melted into goo, all forming into one large Trixie.
One large Trixie who was folded up doubled in a small glass case.
“Um... Trixie does not know how she got in here... but could somepony let Trixie out?”
Discord huffed. “Oh, just wait until the glass shatters. It looks like it’s about to break, you’re squeezed in there so tight.”
“Discord, that broken glass would cut Trixie up.”
“Oh, right, ponies mortal and all that.” Discord snapped his talon and Trixie popped out of the cage and reappeared in mid-air moments later. She then abruptly fell to the floor.
Spike glared at Trixie. “You caused me a ton of trouble. I hope you’re happy.”
“You’re not Twilight Sparkle, so Trixie is not happy.”
Spike sighed. “Well, at least this is over, and all that’s left is cleaning up the castle. Which I take it you’re going to help with.”
Trixie looked at Spike, then burst out laughing. “Yeah, right. Who is going to make Trixie?”
At that point, the door to the lab opened, and in walked Twilight Sparkle. Really, walk did not do her movement justice. She stormed in, looking angrier than Spike had ever remembered.
“Who. Trashed. My. Castle?”
And then, Starlight was next to her, looking just as angry. “Who destroyed my room?”
And then, Princess Celestia came in, wearing bandages on her head. “Who gave me a concussion?” she demanded.
And then Princess Luna came in, her eye still twitching. “Who invaded my dreams and did a thousand annoying things all at once?”
There was a small pause before both Spike and Discord pointed to Trixie, who grinned with fear.
Trixie swiped the mop across the floor. She wished she didn’t have to use her hooves, but the lock on her horn made use of magic impossible.
“This is beneath Trixie!” she yelled.
“Less talk, more mop.” Spike turned the page of his comic. Thankfully Discord had at least restored any that Trixie had destroyed.
Discord, who had eaten half of his book, looked over at the baby dragon, who was laid out on his own hammock. “So Twilight wasn’t mad at anything you broke?”
“Please. It was Trixie’s fault. Anything I did just prevented damage.”
Discord nodded, looking at Trixie again. “You sure she has to go after she finishes cleaning everything she broke? You sure seem happy watching her clean.”
“Well... maybe we can keep on a bit longer. After all, she did break a lot...”
Author's Note
Well, here it is, a simple commission. This one was a bit of a challenge, but I got it.
Want to commission me? It's $15 for the first 4,000 words, and $5 for every 1000 words after.