“Chronic remorse, as all the moralists are agreed, is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.”

― Aldous Huxley

Gently taking a cool wash cloth and softly wiping Karn's furrowed brow, Fluttershy wondered if this human creature would ever really be able to recover. She certainly felt her own natural concern for her human patient. As his fever had gradually become worse, his few waking moments had been quite frightening at times. He would toss his head from side to side, alternatively muttering gibberish and then suddenly yelling some of the most awful things she'd ever heard.

Wherever he was from, she was glad he wasn't there anymore - and that he hadn't seemed to have brought any others from his own world with him. Who was this 'Coron' he would occasionally plead forgiveness from? He'd mentioned the name several times. Sometimes he would softly call it in a quiet, repentant manner. The next moment he would nearly scream the name in terror. He'd mentioned other names, too, and would cry out about some of the most awful things that he seemed to have thought had happened to them. At least, she hoped the things he called out about were just that - nothing more than bad dreams, and not recollections of events that had genuinely occurred. What had this Karn done to these other humans, though, to warrant his having such terrible fever dreams about them?

She had taken some time today to meet with Pinkie and to make sure her animal friends were all doing well. Perhaps more so to check on Pinkie and to make sure she hadn't been being quite as crazy as she normally was. It appeared that Angel had been more or less able to keep a rein on Pinkie, rather than the other way around. In her mind's eye, she saw her friend trying to help the beavers with repairs to their dams and allowed herself a quiet giggle. Doubtless it would involve musical instruments, items of furniture or quite probably cupcakes. Balloons would of course have featured in there somewhere. She had made a point to tell Pinkie that she was not to bring her party cannon to the house, as the small animals living there would be ...

Her thoughts were abruptly broken off as she noticed her patient moving.

Karn's hands grasped reflexively at the sheet covering him.

Fluttershy had seen him like this several times - it must be another of those awful nightmares that he seemed to have during moments when he should've been resting. Despite the best attempts of Doctor Horse, they had still not found a particularly efficacious dosage of antipyretics to ease his sleep. At least for now his pain management seemed to be under control. The next stop was something stronger to try and induce a very heavy sleep, something Doctor Horse referred to rather frighteningly as an 'induced coma'. She wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but it didn't sound very nice.

She felt a sense of hopelessness, being unable to do anything more than cool his face and neck, whilst just observing his panicked behavior as the demons possessing his sleeping world obviously tortured him. "Oh my goodness, you poor thing," she whispered, "I wish I could do something to make you feel safe."

Reaching down to his face with her hoof, she gently soothed the side of his face. "There, there ... it's okay."

Karn's eyes flew open, the remnants of the fears from his nightmare still apparent in his expression. Panting wildly, his eyes darted around the room, unsure of where he was or what was happening until their gaze fell upon the gentle pegasus standing next to his bed. "Shhhhhhhhh" it coed, as it gently wiped his face with a cool wash cloth. The combination of the cooling touch of the cloth against his overheated skin, with the calm, almost angelic voice of his bedside companion passed through him. "It's okay, it was just a bad dream ... " the creature continued. "You're safe now ... rest ... rest ... "

There was such genuine concern in that voice. It was soft, caring and kind - things he had not experienced in such a long time. Vague memories came to him of past injuries, past battles, where medical care had essentially been perfunctory and urgent. This hallucination, for such was what he believed he was somehow still beholding, was truly heaven sent. The concern in its voice was genuine, the look of worry apparent in its astonishingly bright eyes was heart felt.

He tried to force his mouth to vocalize his gratitude. "Oh God. Thank ... you," he whispered. How could a mirage curl ones sanity in this fashion, through nothing more than ... what? Compassion?

Fluttershy felt her heart aching for the poor human who lay before her. He was in pain and suffering in ways she could not possibly hope to imagine. At least he was able to speak a little, maybe that was a good sign? Gently wiping his face once more, she managed a gentle smile for him while attempting to help him relax enough to get some more sleep - or indeed any sleep at all. "Shhhh ... it's okay now, you're safe. You're welcome ... you're in good hooves, please relax ... everything's going to be okay ... "

Karn slowly closed his eyes and let the sound of his caregiver's voice echo in his mind. He let his breathing slow and attempted to allow his taught, agonized muscles to relax. How could anyone or anything be so kind to somebody they clearly didn't even know? The pegasus gently shushed him once more, and with that lovely, almost magical voice easing his troubled mind, he slowly slid back to sleep.

Fluttershy, still gentling cooling him off, was relieved that her patient was now insensible once more to her presence. "Sleep now, " she sniffed, "I'm here."

Since the news of the arrival of a stranger to Ponyville had spread, it had become difficult to stop the wheels of the gossip mill turning. Generally, most ponies were curious to know what this 'human' thing was and what it was doing here. Some wondered if it was a potential threat, still others thought that having something new around town might actually prove to be exciting - certainly Pinkie Pie thought so. Some more sensible voices such as the Mayor's, Twilight's and Applejack's had managed to prevail though, and for now peace still reined.

Twilight had been summoned to Canterlot to see Princess Celestia herself, to discuss what she had been able to find out. Unfortunately, at this stage it wasn't a great deal.

"Well, as I wrote to you, we do know that magic wasn't involved. He is definitely the same physically as the other humans I've encountered at Canterlot High, through the portal. However, he's different - he seems almost traumatized somehow. It's almost as if he's been through some kind of horrific experience and that is what's brought him here. He did make some sort of sense at first - well, I mean he said he say ponies and that he must be hallucinating - but then he got sicker. His fever started to get higher and since then ... "

Twilight paused mid-sentence for a moment, unsure of how to describe what had happened since then.

"Please, go on, Twilight. What has changed since his physical condition has deteriorated?"

"Well, for one thing, he thought Fluttershy was his mother. That's strange enough, really, but later he started ... well, talking in his sleep a little. I mean, most of that is just muttering and nobody can make it out, but occasionally he ... well, he seems to be asking to be forgiven for something. Nopony has been able to make out what that could be. He certainly hasn't threatened anypony or appeared dangerous and aggressive. He just ... well, he just seems upset and keeps trying to ask to be forgiven!"

Princess Celestia closed her eyes for a moment, taking in what her faithful student had been able to tell her. "I think it would be best for the moment if he is kept under guard - not just for our protection, but also for his. We still do not know if any others like him arrived at the same time. What else have you been able to learn about this human?"

"What he was clothed in was unusual too - that struck me the first time I saw him there near the Everfree forest. Most of the humans I knew at Canterlot High were clothed in colorful, fairly regular types of clothing, somewhat like we would expect here. This human was wearing some very unusual clothing and carrying various strange items that were hooked onto straps. Some of these items appear to be general cooking utensils and such, some of them were obviously medical - I've been testing some of the medications I suspect he was carrying in my lab - but .... there was this one item that I thought only you should see."

Twilight levitated a long, wooden box up onto the table between her and the Princess, and carefully opened it. "It was there where he arrived, but when the paramedics picked it up I asked to take charge of it, because it seems different. It's not like anything I've really seen before!"

The two viewed the contents of the box carefully. Inside, it contained a long, metal object which was quite clearly of complicated and exacting manufacture. It was approximately 40 inches in length and appeared to consist of a large, mechanical body at one end, holding a long, round tube that extended from this portion of the machine to the end of the box. The machine end of the box had clear windows that lit up, and affixed to the top of it was a long tube with glass. The tube appeared to look and function just like a telescope, apart from markings within the glass to work as some kind of identification. The machine appeared to be badly stained and quite old, with knocks and scratches and dents in odd locations - a few minor spots of rust indicated it had seen some exposure to water, yet traces of oil on parts of the machine seemed to indicate this human had attempted to take some care with this ... whatever it was.

Princess Celestia carefully sensed it for the presence of magic, but there again appeared to be no residual traces of magic, or any magical source contained within this 'machine'. It however give all the impression of being some kind of possible weapon, though how precisely one would use such a thing was not obvious.

"Thank you for bring this to us, Twilight," she finally spoke, "I cannot determine why, but I suspect we need to keep this here, locked away for the moment until this human is well enough to able to explain its operation and what it does in more detail."

Twilight nodded her sage approval, glad that the princess had again seemed satisfied with her work.

"For now, we need you to return to Ponyville and keep a close eye on this human. I am happy for you to temporarily put aside your friendship studies in order to continue study on this human and whatever other items he has brought with him."

Two more days passed, during which time the medical staff at least seemed to get a better grasp of the human's physiology and arrive at doses of medications that seemed to offer him the best help. Besides their best efforts, they had not been able to definitively find anything to help combat whatever illness he had - which mercifully had not appeared to cross species, either.

At least the anti-pyretic seemed to be working. Karn had somewhat regained consciousness enough a few times to become aware of his surroundings, which still appeared to be confusing and contorted to him. Fluttershy had once more been keeping a gentle bedside vigil when she could find time to. She'd taken to gently waking him when he seemed to be having his regular nightmares.

Twilight's research into what she supposed were medical supplies that Karn had been carrying had thus far not been very conclusive. At least one large container appeared to contain what was quite clearly an opiate substance, but the others were still something of a mystery.

"Spike ... whatever is in these other containers, I think it must be somehow related to ... well, war."

"War? What makes you say that?"

"Well, it's a combination of things. What he was wearing when we found him, the strange clothes his wearing - they look like some sort of uniform, like the royal guards would wear, only not armored. Given that he was obviously carrying pain killers and a lot of materials for dressing injuries, combined with the way he was dressed, I'm pretty sure of two things. Firstly, that he was most likely a guard or a soldier. Secondly, that these other chemicals we found are probably used for healing or treating injuries to stop them getting infected."

"Well, if you think he was a soldier, do you think it's really safe for anyone to be near him? I mean, the royal guards are there keeping a watch all the time, but do you think it's really a good idea for him to be there with ... well, Fluttershy, for one! She's nearly always there!"

"Spike, I think you may be right. We need to head over there now and at least make sure that she's warned. I don't think any pony should be alone with this person at any time, until he is well enough to speak for himself."

The ceaseless roar of weapons battered Karn's ears, as he desperately tried to get the attention of the ghosts of his former comrades. They seemed strangely unaware of his being there. The scene was vivid, stark and painfully familiar. Adepts charging through the fire, wielding weapons of energy or steel, butchering each other in the open air. Screams kissed the sky - the same screams he'd heard so many times before.

On they continued, impervious to his pleas.

He could see it happening again - see that strange, unusual, inexplicable combination of energies thrown from both chaos and order, see them combining in a way none of them had prepared for nor know could happen. The fluctuation exploded forth, slowly rising and spreading outward, consuming everything in its path.

"Listen to me! You need to stop! YOU NEED TO STOP!" he yelled, to nobody in particular.

The adepts around him, white hot streams of energy emerging sword-like from their hands, continued their relentless fight as the anomaly grew in size. It was almost as if it was feeding on his terror. Men caught near the edge of this perfect storm gave blood curdling shrieks as they were incinerated, silenced only once their cremated remains blew to the winds. Even so, other adepts engaged in combat seemed oblivious to this pulsing, growing entity - and it kept consuming.

"God dammit! LISTEN TO ME! It will destroy all of us! YOU HAVE TO STOP! PLEASE LISTEN!" he cried in vain.

The thing began to hasten its growth and sped carnivore-like in his direction. There was nothing to stop its inevitable arrival now. It hastened its speed, as if it somehow desired to end his pain through obliteration.

"Oh Christ, please, not again!"

The wall of bone-white fire reached him and he felt his flesh beginning to crackle and boil beneath its awesome power. He threw his head back and closed his eyes. The light still burned through his eyelids, and seemingly seared his brain.

Drawing on what strength the hideous thing had left him, he screamed with an agony he had not yet known.

"MAKE IT STOP!"

Karn bolted upright in his bed, screaming in terror. For a moment in the dark, he sat panting and shaking, he stared with a mixture of apprehension and relief at what appeared to be a dimly lit hospital room. The relative silence of the scene was deafening. The sound of his flesh cooking still echoed within recent memory, yet his ears spoke to him only of monitors, the clanking of metal on tiles from whatever was near his doorway, and the rasping agony of his rapid breathing.

His mouth felt dry and he could feel the wounds on his chest all too clearly. It felt like he was still on fire. He reached across with a shaking hand and felt his shoulder. His skin felt hot and dry to the touch, but there was no fire. He regained some composure, courtesy of the little lucidity he had.

"Why wouldn't they listen? Couldn't they see it?" he moaned.

His gaze shifted towards the doorway on one side of the room. Two ponies who seemed to be wearing armor had leveled spears at him.

He was still seeing ponies. To his surprise, he didn't find himself caring, anymore.

"Why ... couldn't I get them to stop?" he whispered.

A small, frightened squeak from the other side of the room caught his attention. He turned his head to try and locate its source.

There, pinned back again the wall, was a pony he seemed to recall. The one who had been there whenever he'd had his nightmares before. This most recent descent into hell had been particularly vivid in his mind. This yellow pony with the pink hair whom he had seemed to remember seeing, now seemed to be frightened of him. She was trembling and her eyes were fixed directly on him, almost as if she expected him to ... what?

He frowned at her a little, in confusion. Why would she be frightened of him?

The only source of relief in the ocean of pain and illness he'd been experiencing, was what he'd received from this very kind 'pony'. Yet now, after the worst of the dreams he'd had since being there, even that mirage now seemed unwilling to be anywhere near him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his eyes meeting hers. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean ... to scare you. I'm sorry!"

He slowly lay back onto the bed and stared unseeing at the ceiling. He suddenly felt completely alone and trapped in some kind of faux reality, one that had been engineered solely to inflict pain. Unsure if he was insane, going insane - perhaps even dead - he felt the sour taste of fear creeping into his mind, alongside the loneliness he now felt at having apparently scared off the one creature in this 'place' that had offered him any help.

Unable to endure the pain and this horrible Mobius strip governing his feeling of being alone, he finally gave in to tears; slowly at first, then rising to a river. Speaking in a light whisper, yet to nobody in particular, he continued to stare at the ceiling.

"I didn't mean to scare anyone."

He closed his eyes and thought back on his friends - suspecting now that they were all dead - and let his tears flow onto the pillow. He continued mindlessly pleading for forgiveness, but now with a sense of futility. He felt certain that whatever had happened to him, that anyone or anything else in the path of that horror was gone. Any possible chance of redemption had flown from him, leaving him isolated and abandoned.

"I didn't mean to scare you ... I just ... these dreams ..." he sobbed, again to little more than the air around him, sure now that there was nobody who cared, and certainly nobody who understand who he was.

He felt broken alike in body and spirit.

Isolated. Abandoned. Alone.

Fluttershy was familiar with this human seeming to have troubling nightmares all the time. So when he started to slowly toss and turn and mutter in his sleep, she wasn't particularly surprised.

By the time she rose from her resting place and approached his bed though, it was apparent that this time was different. His awkward tossing became more aggravated, almost desperate - and his mutterings became clearer and a good deal louder. This time his nightmares seemed a good deal more intense.

Finally, thrashing wildly with his hands, he tore the sheet off his bed and quite suddenly leapt forward, screaming in a way she had never heard another creature do so before.

Suddenly frightened and unsure of what Karn was doing, Fluttershy leapt backwards and found herself standing against the wall behind her, as far away from the human as she could get. She could feel her heart leaping in her chest. Whatever he had been dreaming about, it had obviously been one of the worst episodes he'd had - at least since she had taken to keeping an eye on him.

With the sudden outburst, the royal guards stationed outside the hospital room door had burst in, spears at the ready, their attention fixed onto this human.

Silently, Fluttershy felt herself hoping that he would not notice her there. For now he seemed not to, as he turned to face the guards. He appeared to ask them why he'd been unable to stop something from happening. 'Please don't notice that I'm here!' she thought anxiously to herself ... to her further despair, she involuntarily gave off a muffled squeak. 'Oh my goodness ... did ... did her hear me?' she thought to herself.

It seemed he had, as he turned his face towards hers, and his eyes suddenly met hers across the dimly lit room. It felt like her heart was going to end up in her throat now. What was he going to do to her? For what felt like an eternity, he lay there staring at her, before finally - to her surprise - apologizing.

He continued to tell her he was sorry and that he hadn't meant to scare her. This was the first time since that day they brought him into the hospital that he'd been able to recognize anypony or anything - and now here he was, seemingly aware of her being there, and that he'd obviously scared her quite silly.

As she mused over this new realization, the human turned away from her, lay slowly back onto his bed and to compound her surprise he silently began crying. At first, continuing to ask for forgiveness, before finally telling her that he was 'scared'. It now made some sort of sense to her. He'd obviously woken from a particularly bad dream, and now he was ...

"I'm so alone", he cried quietly, his eyes now shut.

Fluttershy, her nerves somewhat recovered, slowly walked to his side. Gently taking the wash cloth she had been using to help cool him, she slowly reached out and gently wiped it across his fevered brow. He opened his eyes and looked up at her. There was no anger or danger in those eyes - just fear, and now loneliness.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his sad eyes looking into hers. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Fluttershy gently wiped the tears from Karn's face. "I know - it was just a bad dream," she quietly cooed to him. "It's over now."

"These dreams ..."

The fear in his voice and the regret for having startled her made her heart ache. "Your nightmare is over, I'm here ... it's okay," she stammered. "I know you didn't mean to scare me. Please rest now, you're safe."

Gently lifting his head in her hooves, she cradled him against her chest. Karn, overcome with so many emotions, gently buried his face into Fluttershy's soft fur and cried as hard as his still aching ribs let him. She found herself very quietly humming a lullaby - which felt silly and awkward somehow to do, but it was the first instinct she had. He seemed so much like a frightened foal.

If this sensation of kindness and genuine concern was nothing more than an hallucination in his befuddled mind, Karn was certainly past caring.

Snuggling his face gently into this strange pony's fur, he let a hundred solar cycles of pent up sadness go - and as the soft, calming tones of her voice caressed his ears, Karn cried as if his chest would break.

Wherever the hell he was - if indeed he wasn't in hell itself - he was beyond caring.

Author's Note

I'm largely riffing some of this and finding that I'm largely writing the story for my own enjoyment - something I've not done in around 25 years.

I think a good part of this story is very much a salute to the nurses and those who care for sick family members. As much as medication and SOPs can do, there's always the consideration of the gentle healing touch and understanding that cannot possibly be quantified. God bless all of you - wherever you are!

POST EDITS 2017-03-11

Hopefully this version isn't quite so sugary as the previous one. I tried to tidy the dialog, add a little more description and expand on who he is here.