Chapter 1: The Quest Begins
At 4:20 Am, Matthew woked up and he got really bored because he faps to amy rose online too much. After he got really bored, he got an idea, his idea was to go on a quest on Green hill zone. Matthew trys to sneak out of the door, his Mom spotted him trying to go outside. She said "What are you doing, Whats with your DISGUSTING clothes.", Matt Replied "I AM GOING TO GREEN HILL ZONE, To bang Amy rose from sonic the hedgehog.", Matthew's Mom replied back to him, being disgusted "AH, YOU ARE DISGUSTING, YOU ARE GETTING A SPANKING AGAIN". Then Matthew's mom grabbed his arms hardly, and spanked him with a newspaper, Matthew screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, No, *Unnecessary sex noise*, STOP!!!, STOP!!!, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!". After the Spanking, Matthew's Mom went to her room then open her pc to find a new husband and check whats the pope is doing, later, she was gonna poop, breathing like an idiot, so she was running into the toilet, then she pooped, she pooped sperm, then Matthew ran outside quickly, then after Matthew's Mom pooped, she went back into her room and she couldn't find a new husband so her son, Matthew is the only solution, but she realise he ran off to go on a quest on green hill zone, She screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!".
Matthew was walking to Green hill zone, after 69 hours of walking, he walked past equestria but he realize, Ben was there, he said to him " CAN I JOIN YOUR CLUB", ben replied "NOOOOOOOOO", Matthew screamed "WHY CAN'T I JOIN UR CLUB, B-B-BEN, DUDE, DUDE, DUUUUUUUUDE!!!". After that, he joins dancing performance to get money for amy rose, when his on the stage, he scream "I MUST DO DIS FOR AMY ROSE!!" then he dances awkwardly, his dance move putting hands up and down to his dick and pushing his bully button in and out and the crowd leaves instantly. After that, Matthew was depressed that he failed to win the performance, he said "WHY DID I FAIL, DUDES?".
While Matthew was walking, he was blocked by a FAAAAAAAT OGRE, the ogre said "DO U WANNA HAVE-" Matthew Interrupted, "OH YEAH, ITS SHREK", Matthew said to Shrek "Shrek me" (means rape him) but Shrek was gone already and no longer blocked. After another 69 hours of walking, he was trying to walk past vegas, then he saw Leafyishere, Matthew ran up to him but he was stomped by Leafy Fans, Matthew tries to push in, and he did, then he said to Leafy "YOU ARE STUPID, DON'T MAKE FUN OF AUTISTIC KIDS" then Leafy said to everyone "EVERYBODY, THIS FAT WHITE KID WHO NEEDS WEED, IS THE DESTRUCTION OF VEGAS" then the madness begins. After another fucking 666 hours, he arrived then the king of green hill zone kicked him out because his a human, he said to the king "I want to bang amy rose", no because I AM THE KING, AND MY JOB IS TOO BANG HER, then Matthew cried "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" then sleeps. Then he was taken to prison and has to listen to whip and nae nae song, sonic edition, then he had a seizure, called autism. Matthew's Mom dragged him to her House then she throwed him to the bed. Matthew woke up and it came up with Matthew's Mom sitting on his dick, She said "Lets hav a baby. baby, baby, ooooooooooooh" and she was singing baby from Justin Bieber, Matthew replied "Yes" since he says yes to everything and says yes if he wants to commit suicide. So the Gay shit begins, Next day, Matthew's Mom thought she was pregnant, then she explained to Matthew, "IM PREGNANT, THANKS MY LOVE", but Matthew's Mom was only fat, Matthew grew an atomic Bomb dick and he thought that he got his Mom pregnant so Matthew goes upstair and goes on the roof. Matthew jumped off the roof then he landed on the ground and it results that his dick got squashed, R.I.P Atomic Bomb. Now Matthew has no Dick, he is gay now like Vladimir Putin, His Mom broke up with him because he was gay so she threw all Matthew's Sonic Collection outside the Windooooooooooooowwwwww, And Smashed Matthew with her FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT Belly, I am not saying I'm skinny and fucking starving but She Smashed matthew with her FAAAAAAAAAAAAT Belly then Matthew went to the hospital because of the abuse, then he remembered something, his old friends hates him, then now he sing "Why can't I be your friend Just because I got Ian in trouble, Why can't I be your friend Michael Collins" then He made the hospital into a Vietnam Flashback/World War 69/Youtube Drama, lol. Matthew kept singing then he made a terrible destruction during the Solar Eclipse at 4:20 PM.
His Brother come to him and cried and sang to him which is a comeback of matthew's song, Luke is singing "hello Matthew my old Friend and Brudder, Let's not be friends with Ian and Michael Collins Again, because they made a fake account of you, so do not be in the aussie club cause they're jews, People will hate you if you have been friends for a long time" Matthew replied "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEM" Matthew's Mom replied to Matthew "But they're imamture and I have a new waifu who has a penis, Your Brother", Matthew screamed in agony "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH", Then it was only a dream, Matthew said "WOAh, that was a dream", then Shrek said to matthew "That's right humpty dumpty", Matthew was shocked saying "Oh nO" then scream, then He woke up again Matt said "it was a dream again" then Matthew's Mom said to him "That's right matthew", Matthew replied "Thank god" then he looked at matthews mom but it was only a slideshow of a picture of Matthew marrying His Mom, Playing sweatshirt - earrape edition, Matthew screamed in agony again "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", Matthew woke up again and again then he said "This is not a dream" then he looked at someone "Who are you?" then it was Cringey Meme Matthew, with an Illuminate at his forehead, and has 5 eyes, Cringy Meme Matthew said, "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMETHEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW", Matthew replied confusingly "Fuel", Meme replied back "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" then Matthew was angry and said "WHAT IS THIS? THIS IS TOO LOUD BECAUSE I HAVE AUTISM", then Cringy Meme Matthew used a Brown Dildo Gun then it shoots Matthew, He screamed in agony then Cringy meme Matthew used an illuminate eye to illuminate matthew to illuminate land, with a Laser Blaster. Then Matthew woked up screaming "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" then he broked his own window because of his screaming,
TO BE CONTINUED
Why can't I be your friend song, Extended version: https://soundcloud.com/matthew-phillips-571660403/why-cant-i-be-your-friend-matthew-phillips