Chapters Left in the dust.(Lightning)
Crack went the whip again and again as it was swung again and again into the flesh of the already bleeding prisoner chained against the wall.
The captive made neither sound nor motion as the whip struck again and again into her already badly wounded flesh. She was determined not to appear weak and to hold on to what little dignity she had left after her lifelong dreams and ambitions had been shattered one by one in front of her.
She did not cry, her tears had long been worn out and her eyes were still dry from her previous lamentations when she was first admitted to this terrible place.
She did not protest, any pleas for mercy would fall on deaf ears, she had learned that the hard and painful way.
The guards had given her nothing to chew on and trying to stop herself from biting her tongue was already difficult enough as it was. Talking would only make harder still.
"Spitfire must really be disappointed in you, you little creep" remarked the guard nonchalantly "Selfish little freaks like you are an insult to the good wonderbolt name."
Upon hearing the name of what was once her mentor, the only pony she had ever managed to trust in, she shivered slightly but quickly pulled herself back together. The past was the past and there was no backtracking in the sad irony of life.
She had learned that the hard painful way too.
The guard continued to give her lash after lash while continuing to hurl terrible insults at her as he did so in a terrible voice which would have made a good impression of a cheese grater.
Only guilt and the gruesome knowledge that it would be easy for her to bite her tongue if she moved her lips even slightly, stopped her from responding in kind, but the cold and icy glare which she regarded her tormentor with said more than her words needed to,
The pain surged through her body, coursing through her veins. Her skin felt as if it were burning and her vision became only more distorted with each crack of the whip.
Then the pain subsided and darkness washed over her fading sight as her body gave in to the horrible sensations, no longer able to resist. She smiled, at least unconsciousness offered her brief respite from the horrific torture which would return very very soon.
It was dark outside when she finally came to, groggy with both fatigue and pain. She was in her cell once more, her hooves tightly cuffed together and her wings bound tightly by metal chains.
The guards had once again conveniently forgotten to leave her any food or water, and her lips felt as dry as desert.
Her stomach rumbled with hunger, nothing she had not endured before. But that did not make it any less painful.
She glanced outside the barred window only to catch a glimpse of a herd of pegasi soaring past at a speed that even sound would envy. She didn't have to see them clearly in the blackness of night, one glimpse at their incredible pace told them that those were the Wonderbolts.
Her heroes, her idols, and once even her mentors.
Her mentors who once gave her the only respect she ever had in the cold, cruel world she had been born into.
They taught her the one moral she ever learned to live by, the one rule she believed would make her a good, respectable and moral pony.
They taught her to work harder and to push herself further than all others, and that in return she would be rewarded with respect and favour.
She followed that mantra to the end, and they threw her out. Threw her like garbage that had long outlived its usefulness.
Now they saw her as no better than a traitor. Now she was nothing more than a disgrace.
She had a future, a life, and most of all she had friends. But now she had nothing. Not even friendship.
Lightning, the hardest working student in her class, who sacrificed what few days she had off to improve her skills and studies even further, had been left in the dust.
How fitting for the outcast named Lightning dust, and how very very ironic.
How long she had been left here to rot, she had long lost track of. Not that it mattered in the end, since her punishment was to last her entire life anyway, or at least what she had left of it.
She didn't expect to live long like this. One glance at the several lasting marks the unforgiving whip had left on her, told her that it wouldn't be many years anyway.
She sighed irrepressibly. Her friend "Dash" was probably celebrating her victory in euphoric bliss, and for all she knew, was probably already in one of those beautiful uniforms living her dreams.
A part of Lightning could not help but feel jealousy and to some extent even betrayal. Surely he couldn't expect her to be fine after the way Spitfire ejected her away in such a manner.
Did it not occur to her even once in the forgotten period of time she had been jailed for, to even inquire about her state?
No, was clearly the answer. Her dreams were clearly much more important than a one time "friend" she had known for no more than one day, two days tops.
Another part felt regret. Regret for endangering the lives of five innocent ponies who were almost killed because of her.
Five innocent lives were nearly lost because of her. However any lawyer were to analyse her actions that day, they could only conclude that five lives were almost lost because of her and that she deserved the blame.
She didn't expect Dash to care. Evil murderers who went around killing for their own sick amusement, were not worth the time of good, law abiding citizens.
It wasn't as if she wanted to endanger life. Proud of her actions that tragic day was something she was not.
But it did not matter in the end. Attempted murder was attempted murder, even if it was an unfortunate and unintended accident mixed with a unlucky case of wrong time, wrong place.
She didn't know that five ponies would be there, they just appeared, seemingly out of nowhere particular. She had no warning, no prediction, no time to change what could have been changed had she just known what it would have led to.
The tornado, it wasn't meant to injure anyone. No one was supposed to be injured, no one was meant to get hurt. It was meant to be a harmless and efficient way of carrying out her orders.
And as Lightning closed her sore, reddened eyelids in an attempt to fall asleep on the cold metal floor, she knew that this would be what every last day of her life would comprise of.
This was the ending to a story to which a happy ending could not be earned written by an emotionless, sadistic sicko who delighted in seeing the tears and lamentations of his readers.
Happy ever after for her , was happy everyone was after her.
It didn't take long for sleep to come. She gave herself up to the brief respite of a very short rest, and fell asleep cursing.
Cursing the cold, hard fact that in the life of a prisoner, tomorrow would be just as grim as yesterday.
Her resentment and desire to one day be free of this state, was belied only by her sheer remorse and guilt which she knew would hurt far more than the beatings she was given tomorrow or any day for that matter ever would.
Part of her could not help but feel justified to this eternal torment considering just how close she had come to killing those five ponies she endangered. That part of her would gladly have traded anything to be given the chance to give them the apology she never had the chance to give them.
But she couldn't apologise to them now, or ever. The guilt of her actions that day, would follow her to her grave and beyond.
Author's Note
Thank you for reading.
If you like this story, please support me by commenting to speed up the release of the next chapter. I will try to get another chapter out as quickly as possible.
It was daytime when Fluttershy found herself awake, still groggy with sleep. Dazed, she quickly sat up and scanned her surroundings. How long had she been walking, she had no idea, nor how long it took before sleep finally came and she collapsed with exhaustion, glad to finally take some rest after two days of arduous labour.
Slowly and cautiously (for the Everfree forest was known for being just as dangerous during the day) she crept from her hiding place which she had taken shelter in and began to trudge home, knowing full well she would have to face the anger of her animal friends at not having gathered anymore food for them.
She sighed wearily as she reflected just how much of a failure she had been in her short yet miserable life.
She could do nothing well, unlike her talented friends who each had a talent they would never be out competed in.
Applejacks strong hooves and hardworking attitude made her the best farm hand for miles around. Sweet apple acres would not be a fraction of what it was today without her.
Rarity's unfailing eye for fashion never failed to impress her ever growing line of clients for her dress shop, and made her the subject of many, many magazines and many influential and renowed critics, each of which who praised her to the skies.
Twilight. Princes Celestia's personal student in magic. It didn't take a genius to realise that Princess Celestia, the ruler, didn't just teach anypony.
And Pinkie. The one of a kind super duper party planner of Ponyville (and probably all of Equestria too). Her parties were summed up in one simple word. Incredible. Be it a simple birthday party, or a party commemorating an important royal event. Marriages, peace conferences, gala's you name it.
But Dash took the cake. Dash was the piece de resistance. Dash, was everything good Fluttershy was not and that made them as different as night and day. Dash's flying skills were top notch by Equestria's standards, while Fluttershy's were bottom of the barrel.
Dash would forever receive nothing but admiration from his fellow brethren in Cloudsdale, Fluttershy's beautiful birthplace. Fluttershy, nothing but scorn.
Fluttershy sighed helplessly. There was no point in trying to deny her lack of talent, or the hard fact she could not do anything right.
Her Cutie mark stated her talent with animals, but what kind of animal caretaker was she when she couldn't even find enough food to keep her animal friends from starving to death. Even that, was something she failed at.
She had no talent. Not even in animals and certainly not as a flyer. It was time to stop pretending she did and maybe the cold world around her would develop an inkling of respect for her.
She trudged and trudged, partly in a trance, still lamenting her uselessness and futility. Her friends despite their best efforts, could not change that.
She stopped suddenly, shocked. How long had she been walking she had forgotten but this was not the way back to her cottage.
In fact she did not know where this was, but this was definitely not the right way.
She anxiously glanced around, desperate to reclaim her bearings, when a loud noise which seemed to come from nowhere in particular filled her already fearful heart with dark terror.
Her eyes widened, her breathing quickened, and she ran. Sweat coated her mane as she continued to gallop aimlessly. It did not matter where she was heading, all that mattered to her was that she was alone and lost in the middle of nowhere she knew and the ringing in her ears only seemed to get louder and louder by the second.
Fear silenced her scream, and her wings clamped together rendering her flightless though she would have wanted nothing more than to fly up and away at this moment. Why oh why had she come out here into the Everfree, when she should have known better than anypony the risks.
Time did not exist for Fluttershy as she continued to run.
Her chest was on fire, her heart beating like a maddened drum when something tripped her and she tumbled head first onto the hard, unforgiving earth. And then she was down, flailing her hooves wildly, trying to ward off, trying to cry for mercy as the world turned black around her.
Darkness had fallen by the time Fluttershy came to her senses.
She tensed for more dangers, and for several minutes lay still as a statue trying without success to hold her breath.
When she was certain she heard nothing, slowly she got to her feet and gingerly walked forward, one step at a time out of the silent thicket still sweating heavily.
And that was where she saw in the blackness of night, that tall, forbidding edifice.
It was hidden obscurely by trees which surrounded it on all sides. A tall metal fence surrounded the building, which in the darkness of night seemed to have almost no life.
A small lamppost near what seemed to be a large set of doors, threw a small globe of light around the only lit part of the building and two figures dressed in black stared coldly into the night, oblivious to Fluttershy's presence. Not that they looked like ponies Fluttershy would announce herself to. Something about the looks in their glittering eyes, which gleamed even in the dark night, simply didn't seem right.
Something about the way they stood, frightened her.
Just what was this place. It looked like no building Fluttershy had ever seen before.
Curiosity got the better of Fluttershy, and careful to make as little noise as possible, she crawled silently to the back of the building.
There were no doors in this side of the building, just windows. Barred windows, Fluttershy noted.
Through one of the small, barred windows, Fluttershy saw a small flicker of light. Her heart was in her mouth as she crept closer to the tall metal fence, part of her asking herself why she ever thought this was a good idea.
As she crept closer still, she saw a face. Steeling herself to the gruesome knowledge that this pony might just be one of those daunting figures she saw earlier, she pressed on.
She crawled up to the fence, and the fear on her expression turned to confusion as she took a brief glance at the sad miserable figure she could now see clearly, staring blankly out of the window like some disconsolate prisoner.
The confusion soon turned to disbelief as she realised that this was no stranger. This was a familiar face. This was the pony in Rainbow Dash's anecdotes. This was the pony Rainbow Dash had been warning her time and time again to avoid contact with. The one Rainbow Dash ranted on and on about, and labelled a reckless and immoral sociopath blind to the fact that her actions could and did harm those around her.
"Those that she pretended to care about" said Rainbow Dash angrily during his rants "Those that she shared fake laughter with. Those she pretended to cry for. To think that I ever associated with such a reckless, selfish smart-ass who thought that pushing oneself forward was the only important thing and didn't give a damn about her teammate, let alone others"
And there she was. The sociopath, the know it all, the selfish,reckless smart-ass sat staring into the blackness of the night wearing a mask of guilt, sorrow and regret. Completely oblivious to Fluttershy's presence.
No actor, artist or writer could have done a better job of portraying a remorseful and guilty conscience than the selfish reckless smart-ass who Fluttershy now faced.
Then her disbelief turned to pity and then utter shock as she noticed three large scars on her bleeding face and how she clutched her nose in agony.
At first Fluttershy thought the other pony had not seen her, but as she sadly began to turn away, a desperate voice called to her.
No louder than a whisper, but it did not lack in emotion nor genuineness. It shook and was spoken in a shaky, broken voice.
"I, I'm sorry" said the pony behind the window. "P, please forgive me".
The voice was so quiet. So very quiet that at first Fluttershy only imagined she heard it, when there it was once more.
"I'm sorry" it cried softly "So very very sorry for what I did to you. I didn't... I didn't intend for it". Fluttershy looked once more at the face peering through the bars of the window, and she was puzzled. This was the first time she had heard anyone introduce themselves in this way. And from the way this pony spoke and peered back at her, it was clear this regret was genuine.
Fluttershy gazed once more at the pony peering through the barred window. Her deflated orange mane and horribly bruised face a telltale sign of horrific abuse and her reddened saggy and lifeless eyes a likely result of many sleepless nights.
This was not the pony Fluttershy remembered at the Wonderbolt academy yet it undeniably was the same pony. Fluttershy needed no explanation, her memory was better than she was willing to admit and she had been there when the incident occured.
She knew what this pony did was severe and that the punishment would be severe, but not this severe. This was how a mass murderer was treated and even then Fluttershy found it jarring that a ruler as just and merciful as Celestia would allow such vulgar treatment. Even prisoners had rights, or should have.
Fluttershy did not need to ask for the pony's name, she knew what it was from the times Rainbow Dash ranted on and on about how he just hated Lightning Dust and how glad he was that she was finally called out for her wrongdoings.
"Its alright" Fluttershy replied "Its alright. I forgive you."
Hearing those words, Lightning looked up and a ghost of a smile returned to her lips. "Really?" she asked, half mad with a mixture of hope and desperation.
"Of course. Everyone makes mistakes. What's important is that you feel sorry for what you did and learn from your mistakes"
Tears began to well in Lightning's eyes. And slowly in a trickle, they began to run down her cheeks as she wept silently, unable to control herself.
"There, there" soothed Fluttershy, dismayed that her words had brought Lightning to even more tears. "Its alright. You didn't mean to do what you did, and its not your fault"
"It is" sighed Lightning, only just managing to salvage a touch of composure. "I, I put you in danger. I put your friends and you in danger. All my fault"
A loud creaking tread was heard and Lightning was at once apprehensive.
"Go!" pleaded Lightning stiffing her sobs.
"But..." protested Fluttershy but Lightning cut her off.
"Please. Just go. I don't want you to get in trouble when the guard comes in. Just go. Please. He'll really punish you if he catches you"
"I'm not going without you" retorted Fluttershy. "You deserve better than this. I know you do".
After all, from what she saw and heard at the Wonderbolt academy that day, the hurricane was at least partly Rainbow Dash's fault too. At least in her own experience.
"You have to" pleaded Lightning as the footsteps got louder and louder "Please. Please go. Please, you don't have to suffer for my mistakes. Please."
Fluttershy looked at Lightning and she looked back at Fluttershy. A noise of a key turning in a lock made Fluttershy leap away from the window just as a tall, daunting figure stepped into the room.
As she slowly flew away, dissapearing back into the shadow of the night, Fluttershy cringed as she heard a furious shout followed by several loud, heavy thuds, one after the other.
Fluttershy realized sadly that though she had taken the safer option, she could not shake the feeling she was once again a coward in every sense of the word.
And as she found her way by the light of the full moon back to her cottage, looking up to the high moon, she vowed in a solemn, serious tone.
"As Celestia as my witness, I will help my friend. I will come back here and help her no matter the price".
"Who were you talking to" demanded the guard angrily as he shook Lightning hard.
"Myself, I guess" sighed Lightning tiredly in reply. "Who would want to talk to me"
The guard dropped Lightning Dust like a hot potato. "Well said" he sneered sarcastically "Well said you little runt. After the way you behaved back at the academy, I don't think even your own mother would ever want to see you ever again. Not that your mother ever loved you in the first place. Heck she probably loathed you from the day you were born."
"I'll have you know my mother loved me very much" hissed Lightning, unable to let that insult go unchallenged.
"No one loves you and now that you're going to spend the rest of your life in this prison with only me for company, no one ever will." spat the guard sarcastically "A cold blooded murderer who blows tornadoes to threaten innocent lives deserves no love."
"I've said it before" replied Lightning weary and annoyed "But I'll say it again. It was an accident, I swear."
"Pah" huffed the guard "An accident. Sure it was. If it really was an accident, why would we have bothered taking you here to prison in the first place. Have you no shame?"
"I did the best I could" protested Lightning Dust.
"Well your best simply was not good enough then" retorted the guard and before Lightning could reply, the guard swung his hoof into Lightning's already bruised face.
It was a miracle how no blood welled from Lightning's nose after such a blow. In fact it was a miracle how Lightning's skull stayed intact after the impact.
The guard said nothing else as he left, locking the door as he did so. And after making sure he was gone, Lightning returned to the window, staring blankly into the night. She was glad that at least one of the ponies she wronged had forgiven her and accepted her apology so kindly, yet upset that she could not do more to show her regret.
There were still 4 more ponies she had yet to apologise to, and she still had to say her sorry's to Rainbow Dash and her teacher, Spitfire. She did not expect the pony she had just met and whose name she sadly didn't know, to return. That would be asking too much after that pony had already done so much by forgiving her.
A brief glimmer of hope that perhaps she had found a new friend crossed Lightning's mind briefly but she quickly shot it down and dismissed it. To forgive was one thing but to care for enough to call someone a friend, was another altogether.
Lightning sighed painfully, this was another one of those nights where she could not help but wish this all would end. She could really use some friends for a change.
Author's Note
Thank you once more for reading the stories of a terrible, stupid and very bad author. You really are the best people. I honestly tried my hardest to make this story as good as possible and I would be very flattered to be given any comments.
She flew back towards the prison as darkness fell. She had not had a full nights sleep for a while now and her eyes were saggy with fatigue. But she quickly shrugged it off.
She flew most of the way, but made the last mile of the journey on foot. In the air she was very open to being spotted, and she could not take that risk.
She walked quietly, careful to make as little noise as possible knowing the slightest sound could arouse suspicion. Then when she saw the horrible sight of the huge stony edifice of the prison, she kept low as she crawled forward step by step towards a large bush where she would be obscurely hidden but from where she could keep a close eye on the building while hidden.
From her hiding place she watched as several large, grim faced stallions circled the building, their eyes devoid of any warmth. Long minutes passed as she continued to discreetly observe the vicinity, careful not to give away her position.
Even the element of kindness had to sadly acknowledge that sometimes, a friendly talk and negotiation was not the path to go down. With eyes as blank and emotionless as those, to Fluttershy those stallions looked more criminal than criminal.
They were not ponies Fluttershy would want to meet on a cold, dark moonless night like this. They were not ponies Fluttershy wanted to meet at all.
Several times the stallions surveyed the area near Fluttershy, but fortunately their eyes never met hers. If they did catch her, she could only begin to imagine what would happen to her. But she had a pretty good idea. The image of a pack of starving hyena's pouncing onto a startled hare came to mind.
But eventually as Fluttershy had hoped, they began to head away after staring coldly in her direction for several more minutes.
There wasn't a second to waste. Quickly but quietly, Fluttershy came out from her hiding place and began to creep towards the metal fence surrounding the building. Now was the time to carry out the next part of her schemes.
She would fly over the tall metal fence that encircled the building before using the powerful lighter she had brought with her to melt the bars on Lightning Dusts cell window before pulling Lightning out. She would then use the lighter to melt the cuffs on Lightning's cuffs, and the thick wire tied around Lightning's wings.
It would hurt Lightning quite a bit but it was the only way forward, and Fluttershy was confident that she could treat any burns she had caused when they arrived back at her cottage as long as she was careful not to apply too much heat.
But now was not the time to celebrate. Quickly she flew towards the window where she remembered she last saw Lightning.
The lights were off.
Fluttershy was puzzled, it was just yesterday that she found Lightning Dust in this exact cell and yet even from the distance she was now, she could see it was as empty as every other cell in the building.
Fluttershy began to panic, surely she had not come too late. Or had some wonderful miracle happened and had justice finally decided to grant her newfound friend another chance at life.
It was a happy thought, but Fluttershy quickly pushed the chance of the latter event happening out of her mind. With how mad Spitfire was at Lightning Dust, it was unlikely that Lightning would ever see freedom in her life. That was the reason Fluttershy was here after all. To grant Lightning her early release date which Celestia and the biased law would not grant.
It wasn't simply because Fluttershy pitied Lightning Dust that she was doing the dangerous things she was doing now either. Remittances for good behaviour deserved to be met with better treatment, clemency and parole and none of those things had been granted despite Lightning having reformed herself in every sense of the word at least to Fluttershy.
She showed remorse, and not simply because she was upset that being locked away in prison inconvenienced her, or that she felt that her dreams had been unfairly snatched away from her. She was remorseful because she felt regret and disgust at her own actions because they were immoral.
She was regretful because she felt immoral and unable to make a change now that her freedom had been taken away from her. She was remorseful that she would live out the rest of her existence with the world hating her, never able to apologise to those she wronged.
She did not want her dreams back, she wanted a chance at reformation and at making a positive difference. And unlike many former antagonists Fluttershy had dealt with and seen, Lightning reasons for wanting reformation were selfless and pure. She did not have to be curb stomped and one-upped by the pony she thought she was better than the whole time.
She was not Sunset Shimmer. She did not need to be taught the wrongness of her actions after her evil schemes were thwarted and she had lost everything she held dear.
She was not Starlight Glimmer. Starlight Glimmer only finally listened after Twilight had to show her first hand, the terrible consequences of what her revenge would do and it was worse that Starlight was the one who came back for revenge in the first place. Lightning did not want revenge. Unlike Starlight, Lightning was not out for revenge. Lightning knew there was nothing to be gained by repeating the same mistakes which had cost her dearly in the first place.
Lightning realised herself that what she did was wrong and was ready from the get-go to accept full responsibility for them. She made no excuses unlike Sunset and Starlight , she did as Spitifre said and went without a fight.
To Fluttershy, this was certainly parole worthy behaviour, and if the law would not grant the defendant what the defendant was rightfully owed, then Fluttershy would.
But Lightning was not there. Futtershy had come too late. Where Lightning had gone, perhaps she would never know. All the element of kindness knew was that she had failed her friend. She had failed to live up to her element. She had let her element, herself and her friend down and the guilt would haunt her to the grave.
It was with a heavy heart that Fluttershy soared away knowing that if she stayed, there would be hell to pay when the guards found her. There was no point in throwing her life away for nothing.
It was when she soared back into the forest that a truly daunting sight met her eyes.
There, lying obscured under the undergrowth lay the lifeless, cold figure of a talented young flyer who had now lost the last thing she had of worth after her dreams had been dashed before her one by one and she had been betrayed by all her friends she thought she could count on.
The wind played with her bright amber mane, twisting it so that it covered her face. Several large marks covered her cyan body, much worse than the ones Fluttershy saw yesterday.
Fluttershy did not have to wait for a response that would never come to know what had most likely happened. And it was all her fault. She had caused this and once again been more of a liability than of any help. The element of kindness had failed in yet another mission and another life had to be lost because of her mistake.
Tears welled up in her eyes, but when she tried to cry she found that only tear less sighs escaped her.
She said nothing for there was nothing to be said, but instead knelt by Lightning Dust's side.
As she leaned closer to Lightning's body, the air seemed to drop several degrees in temperature and she found herself shivering uncontrollably.
Lightning lay still as a statue and made neither sound nor motion as Fluttershy held out a hoof as a last attempt to confirm the sad fact she knew she would have to face. Fluttershy prayed to Celestia for at least a breath, but Celestia didn't seem to be listening. There was no breath. There was no movement. Lightning Dust had left and Fluttershy had missed her.
It was no good. But Fluttershy knew there was but one thing she could do if she truly valued Lightning Dust.
She could at least persusade Twilight and the others to offer their forgiveness to Lightning so that at least wherever Lightning had gone now, she could feel relief knowing that those she wronged before she had to leave, held no grudge against her and only wished for her to be happy wherever she was now. Maybe even convince Rainbow Dash to lessen his hatred towards one of his most hated enemies, but Fluttershy didn't count on that.
She would get to that, but first she had to give Lightning a proper grave. It was the least anypony deserved and since no one else would undertake the grim but morally important task, it fell to Fluttershy.
And since there was no one to give Lightning Dust a parting speech, Fluttershy would have to organize that too.
And since most of Equestria and indeed the world most likely hated Lightning Dust too much to even talk about her, it was Fluttershy's responsibility to visit Lightning Dust (or at least what was left of her which she couldn't take with her) again from time to time if no one else would, to show Lightning Dust that people from the old home she left behind still cared for her enough to remember the good things she did do.
A single tear escaped Fluttershy's eye as she bent down to take Lightning Dust back to her cottage where she would begin the long and tedious task of giving Lightning a proper burial.
THE END?
Author's Note
Thank you for reading. Please comment if you wish for me to continue this fanfiction which I've been working very hard on and please comment to tell me if there is a particular direction you wish the next chapter to take. Thank you so much for reading. Thank you and please comment. Please.
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Emergency treatment begins. (Fluttershy's pov)
March 12
As I bent down to carry Lightning Dust's lifeless corpse back to my cottage, I sigh painfully and irrepressibly. It was my fault she died. Maybe things would have been better if I hadn't come. The guards probably found out Lightning had been talking to me, which is probably why they killed Lightning Dust.
Why didn't Spitfire punish Rainbow Dash. From what I saw and heard after that tornado, Rainbow Dash was at least partly to blame. Why then did Rainbow Dash get off so easily? Did Spitfire favouritise Rainbow Dash because he did the sonic Rainboom and Lightning Dust didn't?
Or did Rainbow Dash guilt trip Spitfire into blaming Lightning Dust and not him, considering how Rainbow Dash was so quick to accept Spitfire's offer back into the Wonderbolts when Spitfire promoted him to lead pony.
That wasn't loyal. Backstabbing your friends and leaving them to take the heat when you were just as guilty as they were, wasn't loyal.
Was that, was that a twitch. No, it can't be. Did Lightning just twitch when I touched her?
No... no there it was again. Definitely a twitch when I touched her. A very, very slight jerk, but still a jerk nonetheless.
She still had a chance. A small chance, but a chance if I acted now. If I start treating her injuries now, she might make it. No, she will make it. I'll make sure of it.
I take hold of her lifeless haunches, and lift her up into the air as I begin to soar at top speed back to my cottage.
She didn't have much time, and even with my rapid response, she might not make it. I couldn't waste an instant.
Don't worry Lightning Dust. You're going to be okay. I know how much you love to fly and I promise, I pinkie promise you'll fly again soon.
You're among friends now Lightning. Rainbow Dash might not have been loyal despite being the element of loyalty, but as the element of kindness, I vow to give you the kindness you so richly deserve, even if the world hates you.
I promise you that I will stay true to my element, even if Rainbow Dash will not. I promise to be the good loyal wingpony to you that Rainbow Dash never was, my dear Lead pony.
I hadn't flown this quickly or well for a long time. Lightning Dust's survival depended on a quick response time, if there was one day of the year where I could overcome my fears and fly freely and happily like any normal Pegasus without stage fright or the fear of being mocked and branded a useless loser, I was glad that it was today.
Lightning Dust's treatment needed to begin as quickly as possible if she was going to have any chance of surviving her terrible injuries and even despite my best efforts, it was a sad possibility she might not make it through.
But I had to at least try. If Lightning died today, it would be as my fault as the pony who nearly killed her and the guilt would follow me to my grave and beyond. Not to mention the terrible loneliness I would feel at losing what could have been one of my closest friends for life.
As soon as we had reached my cottage, I wasted no time in rushing Lightning Dust into my cottage and laying her onto a bed after bandaging her injuries with a makeshift tourniquet.
A hospital was out of the question, even if there were real doctors there who actually knew exactly how to deal with a situation like this and could better deal with Lightning's injuries than a unqualified quack with no medical degree like me, Fluttershee.
They were sure to refuse treatment for the guilty prisoner and to allow Lightning Dust to die, despite her urgent need for emergency treatment.
And then they would probably throw me in jail for life for being an accomplice in aiding Lightning Dust's escape even if I was only trying to saving Lightning Dust's life.
There was barely time to coherently gather my thoughts as I hurriedly began to gather a large bunch of herbs I still had left when I last went to visit Zecora, and hastily began to mix them together. This was risky as I had no idea and no time to check whether I was even mixing the ingredients in the order I intended.
And even worse was that because Dr Fluttershee the useless quack, had no medical degree or formal training in medicine, there was no guarantee that my intended mix of ingredients would even do anything other than exacerbate Lightning's already abysmal condition so that she died even more painfully that she would have if I had left her bleeding in the forest.
The only medical experience I did have, was when out of necessity, I had to treat a few simple injuries my animal friends had received over the years and with help from the skilled herbalist Zecora as well as some books from Twilight, I was able to concoct a simple medicine that while not the ideal drug for the condition, got the job done but only just.
Those were a few small cuts or bruises, or at worst, a slightly sore throat that would probably have healed itself in just three short days anyway.
This was a series of life threatening injuries that were sucking more and more of what little life Lightning had left by the second. These were injuries that would baffle even the most renowned and skillful surgeons and injuries that took a miracle to survive with, let alone recover from.
It was entirely likely that even if Lightning was somehow able to survive, that she would live the rest of her life paralyzed and unable to fly, or possibly even demented and unable to perform even the most rudimentary of tasks independently.
I tried not to dwell on those thoughts, but promised myself as I began the treatment, that if that was the case and Lightning was disabled and crippled for life if I successfully saved her life, that I would personally care for her as the friend and nurse she never had. I would do what I could to make her life as pleasant as I could, even if it meant she would never achieve her dreams of flying high with the Wonderbolts, or walk outside unsupervised ever again.
There was no point in calling Twilight or my other friends for help either. They had all heard the story of Lightning the selfish murderer from Rainbow Dash, and they were sure to detest Lightning Dust as much as Rainbow Dash did.
One day, I would show the world that Lightning Dust was not as bad as she seemed. One day I would show Twilight and Spitfire that Lightning did at least kind of have a heart and that maybe, just maybe somewhere deep down that Lightning Dust too had feelings like everypony else.
But not today and not now. For now I had to keep Lightning Dust hidden and more importantly, I had to do what I could to treat her injuries.
I would gladly have sacrificed my life as I began to apply the medicine I had brewed onto Lightning's terrible wounds, to see Lightning's eyes open just a tiny fraction and for her to take just one breath, even if it came out as a bloody cough.
Author's Note
Thank you once more for reading the stories of a terrible, stupid and very bad author. You really are the best people. I honestly tried my hardest to make this story as good as possible and I would be very flattered to be given any comments.
Close call (Fluttershy pov)
March 15
Getting into Twilights house was easier than I expected. I simply used the lighter to burn a hole in the metal shutters large enough for me to crawl 's library was as large and extensive as I remembered it. It didn't take me long to find what I was after.
I took out a pen and notepad I had brought with me and scrawled down a few notes after finding the books I needed and turning to the relevant pages. As soon as I was certain I had recorded down everything I needed, I replaced the books exactly as I found them and flew back out the way I came.
Twilight would not be pleased, especially when she found out it was her good friend Fluttershy who did the breaking in. But that was a problem for another time.
Getting into the hospital was much harder. Every corridor was packed with busy doctors and nurses galloping to and fro. There was no way I could simply stroll in. A good spy knew that the best way into any building was seldom through the front door after all.
I returned home, knowing I would have to wait until darkness fell before returning here.
It was dark by the time I woke from uneasy dreams and crept back to Ponyville, still unable to bear the pain of taking a look at the dying Lightning Dust as I left the comfort of my cottage to return to the cold, harsh world.
As I hoped, the hospital was as it usually was at this time of night, empty save for a couple of Doctors and nurses on late night duty.
I found a metal shutter on the top floor of one of the wards and swooped towards it. As I expected, it was shut tightly. Taking out my lighter, I began to ignite the lock.
It was tough to deter ponies from breaking in, but eventually I tried the window and it snapped open. I checked once more that no pony saw me before gliding into the building as silently as I could.
The supply closet was exactly where I remembered it to be from my few visits to this place, much to my relief.
With the heavy oxygen machine firmly grasped in my hoof, I swooped once more out the window and quickly soared for the everfree forest, hoping to hide myself among the trees.
It was heavy work pushing such a heavy machine back to my cottage but I eventually got back home without further incident.
Eyes half closed, hooves trembling, I set to work connecting Lightning Dust to the gigantic machine I had no idea how I was able to lift, and began to read the notes I had made earlier on how to properly treat an emergency injury.
With the notes, I could be certain this time that the medicines I took from the hospital would serve the intended purpose and with an oxygen machine now supplying a good supply of oxygen to Lightning Dust, Harry could finally get some rest and I could finally get a good nights sleep.
The rest of the day, I spent carrying out snipping, and clipping as I took part in a complex surgery that were the next step to Lightning Dust's treatment according to Twilight's surgeon manual. But this time I was certain I knew what I was doing and that I was doing the right thing.
It wasn't long after I had finished however when I heard a loud banging at the door.
I knew that Lightning Dust was not safe here. If Twilight saw Lightning Dust in my house being nursed back to health by me, it would be her word against mine in court. And something deep in my conscience told me that a shy, socially awkward introvert's words had little power in even the most fair and unbiased of courts.
I had to hide Lightning Dust.
Moving as silently as I could, I pulled the sockets connecting Lightning Dust to the vital supply of oxygen keeping her from death's door and dragged her quickly into the cellar I had in my cottage , where I quickly placed her in an empty barrel and sealed the lid just to be on the safe side.
Then I kicked the oxygen machine away into a back room where hardly anyone ever went.
Trying to act as calmly as I could, I opened the door slowly, trying very hard not to shake as I did so.
The lavender, winged figure of my long time "friend" Princess Twilight stood eagerly at the doorway, expecting me.
"Hi there Fluttershy" she said cheerfully , "so nice to finally see you again. I'm sorry I was away in Canterlot for longer than I expected."
"Oh yes. Do come in and make yourself comfortable" I replied, beckoning Twilight inside. I rushed to the kitchen and quickly set to work making Twilight a cup of tea. It would throw her off the scent.
I brought the tea to Twilight, who placed it onto a nearby table without so much as a sip.
"So Fluttershy. It's been a while since I've visited you. Is everything alright?" asked Twilight nonchalantly.
"Everything was alright until you showed up, and you almost never come to see me anyway even when you are in ponyville" I cursed in my mind.
"Anything new?" asked the Princess of Friendship, not looking at me while she spoke but at a picture on the wall.
"No. Not really"("No, not really since you forgot to come to my birthday party despite promising to be there and leaving me too broken to leave my cottage for three days. Not really")
"I see. Well I've been doing good. My visit to Canterlot went well and my mentor Celestia was pleased with my studies like always and I had a good time with my friends back there".
"Oh that's nice" ("It's really nice how you love your friends back there so much more than you love your poor lonely friends here who need you so much more")
"You seem sad Fluttershy. Is there anything I could do to make you feel better".
"No. Not really. I'm fine" ("It's not as if you want to help me anyway. Especially last week when you refused to lend me any money to feed my starving animal friends and myself even though I told you how desperate I was")
"Are you sure Fluttershy. You look so sad"
"No really Twilight. I'm alright" ("Unless you wouldn't mind making a contribution to help me feed my poor starving animals which of course you're not going to do")
"You seem tired. Have you been sleeping badly lately?"
"Yes. Yes I have sadly" ("No thanks to you Twilight")
"That's a shame"
"No, not really. It's not that bad. Honestly" ("Right now I'd sacrifice all the sleep in the world if it meant saving Lightning Dust's life")
Twilight glanced at the clock on the wall before looking back at me.
"Well I'm glad you're okay. and I guess I'll see you soon" she said.
"Did you want anything from me?" I asked, eager to usher Twilight out the door as soon as possible. The longer she stayed here, the more chance she found out about Lightning Dust.
"Well. You must me tired. I guess I'll see you tomorrow" she replied, stepping slowly towards the door.
"See you then. Have a nice evening" I called to her as she took her leave, knowing that every word she just said was a blatant lie.
She would not see me tomorrow even if I were to pass by her castle and wave. Unless there was some evil threat which only the elements of harmony could neutralise were to spring up, Twilight would not see me again tomorrow or the day after or for a long time after that.
She would ignore me, too engrossed in her studies she had yet to do to please the mentor that sent her to Ponyville. She was the same as when I first laid eyes on her back when she first arrived. And she only needed me when she had a problem only I could help her with.
But when Sombra had been safely sealed away, Chrysalis wasn't leading her army of Changelings in another war against Equestria, and Tirek wasn't rampaging across the land trying to suck every pony of their strength so he could have it all for himself, Twilight more or less ignored me as she did with her other friends.
I could not recall a time when on a day with no threats imminent that she had once thought to ask if I needed any help or to come and see me to spend time with her "good friend" Fluttershy.
She was distant from me, as I was distant from her. And my attempts at visiting her more often to bring us closer together would only ever be in vain when her only goal in coming here was on an assignment for her mentor. And would probably clear out on a whim should her mentor tell her otherwise.
She would walk by me each day as if I did not exist save for the times she came here to warn me about another threat or mission that needed my presence or to thank me for making such a good impression to her mentor.
This was probably not her intention, but I could not help but feel that for Twilight, her friendship was all take and no give, at least for me.
And they made her the princess of friendship...
Author's Note
Thank you once more every pony for reading. You really have been very very kind and patient with me and I've tried my best to make the story as good as possible.
Awake at last (Lightning Pov)
April 22
"Its not just about pushing ourselves. But about pushing ourselves in the right direction" said Spitfire, facing me with a look of pure hatred.
"You are dismissed" she continued angrily "you soiled the good wonderbolt name and nearly killed five innocent ponies with your reckless behaviour".
I nodded once more. Words were redundant and would mean nothing to the teacher I had just let down.
I turned to leave but before I could take three steps, strong hoofs grabbed me and held me tightly.
The guards who held me tighter than ever dragged me outside where Spitfire, my partner Rainbow Dash and the five ponies who my tornado nearly killed were already standing.
I opened my mouth to apologise but one of the guards held a hand over my mouth, drowning out my words with his iron grip. "Not a word" he grumbled "Or it'll be all the worse for you".
The guards held me there for a few seconds so that every pony in the courtyard had the chance to have a good long look at the reckless fiend who deserved no mercy in their eyes.
Then with one fluid like movement, Spitfire ripped my badge from my uniform and with another movement, motioned the guards and me away.
I looked at Spitfire one last time. I resisted the urge to frown, cry or clench my teeth as for the last time I looked at the mentor who had given me so much. She would always be my hero, even though I knew exactly what she meant by a punishment.
The guards led me away. I followed knowing that they were bigger and stronger than me and that if I stopped walking, they would simply drag me instead. A crowd of other cadets roared with excitement as the guards continued to lead me away and one cursed me as he threw a large stone. The stone struck me hard in the eye but the guilt I felt for endangering so many innocent lives and failing to give an apology or any sign of regret to those I wronged had made me numb and I felt nothing at all.
The last sound I heard as the world turned black around me, was the loud jeering of every pony in the academy as they celebrated.
Darkness and nothing more. So this is what being dead was like.
A soft melodious whisper whose words I could not make out sounded from the darkness. But I was dead, or was I.
No, there it was again, louder this time but still, I could not understand a word it said.
Again. There it was once more, a soft pleading voice which seemed to be begging me to stay and trying to caress and comfort me. But still, I could not understand a word.
It was then that light slowly began to come back into my vision, first in a trickle but then in a flood.
And as light returned, the gentle voice seemed to get clearer and louder until eventually I could just about discern what it was trying to say.
"She's awake, give her some room!" it shouted. But my happiness was short lived. I knew what would come next and braced myself for another smack of the iron that would surely take what little life I had away from me.
"No more" I pleaded softly despite knowing my pleas were useless "No more. One more strike and you'll have no one to torture tomorrow. "
"No more" I whimpered softly expecting the painful impact of the iron at any second "You've already broken every bone in my body and crippled me for life. Please, just this once. No more. No more"
I closed my eyes once more, waiting for the strike which was sure to come any second and knock me back into blackness.
"Please, don't be scared. You're among friends Lightning Dust. No one's going to hurt you, I promise". The voice was the same one I heard before. It was a gentle voice that invited confidence without demanding it. And it certainly wasn't the voice of the guards.
Very cautiously, I opened my eyes once more and leaned upwards very slightly to behold for the first time the speaker whose soothing voice I would occasionally hear in the unknown amount of time I had blacked out for. It was a gentle voice, that pleaded with me not to go yet.
Two shining blue eyes, clearly filled with concern looked back at me.
I blinked twice more expecting at any second to find this all to be another illusion and to wake up back in my cell.
When nothing happened, I very cautiously dared a smile still half filled with disbelief.
"Its alright Lightning Dust. It's alright" she said, running her hoof through my mane.
Now finally safe in the knowledge that this was not all in my imagination and that no one was about to strike me again with an iron bar, I managed in a strained voice to ask where I was.
"This is my cottage" replied the pink maned pony as she continued to pat me gently as if to reassure me.
"What happened?" I asked in the strongest voice I could muster in my weakened state. I felt I had to know.
"I found you bleeding and weak in the forest" she explained anxiously "You were so badly hurt and I thought you would never make it. I'm so glad you've finally made it. I was beginning to think you'd never wake up again"
And that was when the mental block that seemed to take from me all capacity of thought began to shatter. I saw the guard's anger as he lost control and began to strike me harder than ever and eventually into unconsciousness. I remembered how, through dazed eyes I saw the guards as they hauled me out of the prison and threw me onto the rough soil of the forest, thinking there was no way I would survive.
"Help" I remember myself whispering weakly, knowing none would come. I had earned the freedom I never thought to have, but it had cost me my life. And then there was silence.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized just how much the pony I now faced had given me and how none of them were things I deserved after doing so much wrong.
"How long have I been here" I asked, looking at her with newfound respect and gratitude.
"Nearly a month" she replied modestly and carefully. "I was beginning to think you'd never wake up again, and I was so worried"
I was at a loss for words. She acted like it was nothing despite the fact she had just saved my life, a life that did not deserve saving to me. She had stayed here for almost a month, trying to bring me back from death's door and she acted like it was no big deal. That was big of her.
I bit my lip shyly before I could bring myself to reply "th, thank you" I cried, nearly breaking into tears which I had to struggle to force back. "you didn't have to do all that."
"You were in need. It was my duty to help you when you needed it."
It took another few seconds of awkward silence before I could speak again. "Please. Tell me your name?"
"When I was young, I was teased a lot" she sighed, clearly upset at being asked a question she had had to answer many times before "the bullies would laugh at me so much and call me so many mean and horrible names that I forgot what my real name was. So I guess, I guess I don't know".
I nodded sadly, trying to empathize with her. "So, what should I call you?"
She had to think for a while before replying. "Well... I guess you could call me Fluttershy. It's not my real name but it's the least hurtful name the bullies called me, and it's the only name I've had for a long time"
I nodded once more sadly, already feeling a kinship with this pony who I was beginning to recognize more and more from the broken fragments of my scattered memory. I had seen her somewhere before, I was sure of it.
"I, I remember you" I cautiously stated, choosing my words carefully so as not to offend the pony who I owed all I was worth to "I, I've met you somewhere. But, but I'm not sure where. I'm, I'm sorry"
"Yes" she explained nodding sympathetically "I saw you while you were still in prison. I promised myself that I would come back and save you, but, but I was too late. By the time I came back for you, I found you bleeding and I was so afraid. I, I am sorry. I should have come back sooner"
"Don't be" I protested "You came in time. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be alive now. But, but that's not what I meant. We met before that, but I don't quite remember where"
"If you mean at the Wonderbolt's academy, then yes. I was one of the ponies involved in the tornado and one of Rainbow Dash's friends."
At the mention of the tornado and Rainbow Dash, the pain and shame I felt in that moment only trebled and I was unable to help myself as a single tear leaked from my already soggy eyes. Painful memories which had began to dissipate in my coma were resurfacing even more.
I opened my mouth to apologize profusely but she cut me off. "I forgive you" she chimed in. "I forgave you a long time ago."
"You shouldn't forgive me. I, I'm not a good pony."
"You're not a bad pony" she chided, slightly crossly though not at me for some reason "you just made some bad decisions. I'm not the element of honesty, but to be honest it was partly our fault too. If we hadn't been so careless and flown our balloon here at such a bad time, none of this would have happened. And to be completely fair, Rainbow Dash helped make the tornado as well so it was partly her fault too."
"It wasn't Rainbow Dash's fault. Rainbow Dash might have helped make the tornado but it was my idea"
"But Rainbow Dash could have talked you out of it or refused to take part, neither of which she did. So don't feel too bad, please. Not all of it was your fault and Spitfire should have realized that"
The room seemed to drop several degrees in temperature as I began to shiver uncontrollably. "Spitfire" I muttered sorrowfully, but this time unable to cry "I let Spitfire down. I was reckless."
"Which Spitfire neglected to tell you until it was too late" declared Fluttershy angrily, it was amazing how a pony who seemed so mild tempered at first sight enraged this quickly "And when she did get it into her head that the so called "reckless behavior" was bad, she did nothing to try and show you how to do better. She simply dropped you like a piece of rubbish even though she told you all this time that you were doing so well. How fickle. How very, very fickle"
"It wasn't Spitfire's fault." I argued weakly, trying to deny that Spitfire was anything like what Fluttershy just said "Spitfire was a good teacher and I was just a bad student"
"Spitfire makes mistakes just like you"
"No. No. No... Just no. Only bad ponies like me make mistakes. Good ponies like Rainbow Dash and you don't. Stop trying to make me feel better. You're only saying that because you're good and I am bad. You just want to comfort me"
Fluttershy looked me in the eye and her tone was both grave and serious. "I made mistakes" she confessed, looking me sharply in the eye "I made a lot of mistakes. The "nice and friendly" pony you see before you as your savior and friend, was not always like this. To say I was once mean and horrible wouldn't even begin to describe how many bad mistakes I made"
She continued to deliver her sermon, each word clearly carefully chosen and spoken with full emotion despite her monotone voice "Do you know Twilight Sparkle?"
I nod gently and shrug,. "They were talking about her becoming the new princess of friendship and being made an Alicorn by Celestia. I heard them from my cell"
What Fluttershy said next surprised me in more ways than one. "Twilight Sparkle hated the idea of friends once. Even when her closest friend sent her an invitation to a very important gathering, she would refuse"
"Why would she do that?" I could not stop myself from asking.
"Friends interfered with her studies and she thought her studies were more important to her than anything else. Twilight was a very antisocial pony who liked to be left in peace alone"
"But they made her the princess of friendship..."
"They did. After Twilight was asked to give friendship a try by her mentor, she came here and met us. We were very distant at first but gradually... things got better between us and we got closer together as friends"
"She, met you?" I sputtered uncontrollably, quickly slapping myself in the mouth as the words came out. There was clearly more to this kind, friendly pony than met the eye. It was difficult to believe that a pony this humble and meek could in fact be one of the "mane six", the well known group princess Twilight and her closest friends were hailed as.
"Yes. I know her personally. I was one of the ponies she chose to help defeat Nightmare moon." From the way she spoke, this was clearly the first time she had told this story to anyone and from the way her eyes darted around the room, it seemed she wanted me and me alone to hear what she was saying. But why?
The guards spoke of a group of ponies who used the elements of harmony to defeat Nightmare moon and then many other dangerous threats that nearly ruined Equestria. They would discuss it among themselves loudly while they ate in the mass hall so that I could not help but hear.
And sometimes they would tease me about it. "If only you could be more like those ponies" the guard would sneer as he took out his lunch and ate it in front of me not giving me even a crumb "The world needs ponies like those. Ponies who are loyal, honest, generous, kind and most importantly, ponies that can spread the magic of friendship and keep us safe and happy. I'm glad you're here in prison. Ponies like you aren't worth the space they take up. I'm glad you're here in prison. You don't deserve friends. I can't think of one pony who would want to be friends with a filthy urchin like you."
Then he would smash my face in, and laugh "I'm sure even Princess Twilight would hate you if she ever saw you."
"So... you used the elements of harmony?" I cautiously whispered. Curiosity had gotten the better of me and I shielded my face with my hooves hoping no offense would be taken.
"That's right. Twilight's become much more social now and much more open."
"But she was so antisocial and closed before..."
"She got better. Just as I'm sure you would have gotten better if Spitfire didn't throw you in prison and actually gave you a chance instead"
I jaw dropped and I simply lay still, my eyes wide open. This was a lot to take in and I needed a few minutes in silence to let it all sink in. So did Fluttershy really think I too could change so drastically. Did, did Fluttershy really think I had any good in me at all despite the many terrible things I did with my past. But I had been told my whole life what to do and what to say. No pony showed me there might be some better way.
So did Fluttershy really believe I could become so much better like some pony else.
Fluttershy had clearly read my mind as she rested her hoof on my shoulder gently. "You wanted to be some pony else Lightning. You want to be a better pony even more now that you realize the full extent of what you did. I can help you Lightning. I can help you be the pony you want to be"
I shook my head.
"I've seen dishonest ponies become the element of honesty. I've seen ponies who never smiled and who were prepared to spend the rest of their unfulfilling life doing a boring and hard job that would give them no joy become the bringer of joy and laughter and the best party thrower and most smiley pony around. I've even seen a broken sociopath prepared to ruin the world to take revenge on Twilight become one of Twilight's closest friends" she replied, her voice filled with conviction. "You can change. You want to change. I believe in you. You can show the world you're not evil. I know you can"
I tried to thank her for her kind words but only succeeded in letting out a weak cough.
"Rest" she ordered as she lay my sore head back onto the pillow and patted me softly "you're still weak, you still need some rest"
I nodded and with my last ounce of breath, asked her if I could have something to eat or drink now that I was awake as I was very famished.
She nodded and flew to her cellar, returning a moment later with a much full of what appeared to be frothy, thick cider. The kind you would wait in line several hours for just so you could get your taste of the heavenly stuff before it ran out and you had to wait another long and tedious year for another chance at getting any.
"Drink this" she said. "It'll make you feel better. I have to go to town for something very important, but I'll be back before evening with some more food for you" She smiled at me as she left the room promising to be back before I knew it and not to leave me for very long.
Fluttershy's encouraging words rang in my mind as clear as a bell as I slowly began to sip the divine beverage, each sip warming my freezing body to the core. I vowed to myself that this would be the last time I made a reckless decision. If Fluttershy, the pony I owed my life to believed I had it in me to improve then I would believe with her.
I would prove to the world one day, for Fluttershy's sake more than my own, that I was not evil. That I sort of had a heart. And mostly that somewhere deep down I still had feelings and as much flesh and blood as the next pony.
Drowsiness washed over me once more as I sipped the last bit of cider in the mug and placed it beside me, and I smiled once more softly as I fell asleep. My last thought as sleep came was that if I spent the rest of my life thanking fate for the mercy it gave to a disgraced and worthless creature like me, it would still not be enough.
Author's Note
Thank you every pony for reading. What do you think about the first interaction between Fluttershy and Lightning Dust.
Do you trust me. (Fluttershy pov)
April 29
"I'm feeling better" acknowledged Lightning Dust, when I saw her stood up this morning, off the sofa where she had lay for how long I'd forgotten. "Thanks to you. Fluttershy."
I smiled as I looked at the smile on Lightning Dust's face. The one she had when she was Dash's partner at the academy. A smile that reflected none of the horrific abuse she had sustained.
"Don't mention it. It was my pleasure" I say, shaking her hoof. "So Lightning Dust. What do you think you'll do now?"
Lightning didn't need long to think. "I'd like to meet your friends" she replied nervously "I want to meet them personally so I can apologise for hurting them so badly. And then I want to see Rainbow Dash. I want to tell her that it was wrong of me not to let her lead and I want to apologise to her as well so she understands there's no hard feelings. And then Spitfire. Spitfire needs to know how much I loved her when I was her student and how sorry I am for failing her."
I shook my head sadly. "You can't. I'm sorry. If other ponies see you, they'll put you back in prison or even kill you. The only reason they haven't come for you yet is because they think you're dead. But once they realise your corpse was never found, they'll start to get suspicious."
"But Spitfire needs to..."
"There's no point in going back to Spitfire, she'll probably just arrest you again without giving a flying feather about what you have to say. Same with Rainbow Dash"
Lightning Dust nodded sadly. "Then I should let Spitfire arrest me again. You probably don't understand this, but Spitfire was the closest thing I had to a family since I left my own. She knows best whats best for me. And Rainbow Dash is my partner. Partners should stick together. I'm sorry Fluttershy. I should go. You've already done so much for me Fluttershy, I can't burden you any more." And she began to walk towards the door.
I flew in front of her and blocked her, doing what I could to stop her advancing. "No Lightning Dust. They'll kill you. Please, do it for me. For my sake, stay here with me. Stories will be told about you Lightning Dust, about how great a Wonderbolt you were. So live, and you can tell the stories yourself."
Lightning Dust immediately stopped walking when she saw the tears in my eyes. She looked at me emphatically. "If that's what would make you happier, then I will. If that's really what you want, then I will. But first tell me, do you really trust me. I have to know. Tell me if you really trust me."
"Rainbow Dash told me you were trustworthy" I lied. I knew it was a blatant lie but I needed Lightning Dust to know how much she meant to me "Rainbow Dash told me stories of you being a pony of honor. I value honor highly."
Lightning Dust smiled, but shook her head. "She didn't tell you that. She certainly didn't tell Spitfire that. I appreciate your compliment, but, I don't deserve them. Rainbow Dash probably told you that I was nothing more than a reckless, mean spirited brute."
"That's not true at all" I knew lying was bad, but in this instance it seemed the lesser of the two wrongs. "Rainbow Dash told me you were the best Wonderbolt, the best flier and most of all, the best leader she could ever hope to have. She was horrified when you were taken away from her."
"No. Rainbow Dash was upset with me. She was upset with me because Spitfire made me the lead pony and not her. I need to tell her that I'm sorry for that. But you're avoiding the question. So please, tell me, I have to know. Do you trust me."
"Yes. Yes I trust you. I trust you with my life." I meant it. I trusted Lightning Dust much more than I trusted Twilight or any of my other friends. And I trusted that had Rainbow Dash not made that cloud to save us from the fall, Lightning Dust would have saved us instead. Till this day I wished it was Lightning Dust who saved us first.
Lightning Dust sighed and covered her face. It was clear she did not believe me. "I let down my teacher. I let down my partner, and then I nearly killed five ponies when I blew a tornado. All I wanted to do was clear the clouds. It was meant to be safe, it was meant to be harmless. Had those five ponies not come from nowhere, the hurricane would be harmless. But I screwed up. It was my fault, however I look at it. All my fault. I don't deserve trust. I don't deserve trust."
"I trust you completely" I shout. "You see where you went wrong and you want to improve. You want to take full responsibility and not put any blame on others. That takes guts and honesty. So I trust you. I trust you with my life. Don't feel guilty, I saved you because it was the right thing to do. And I know you'd have done the same for me. I trust you Lightning Dust, I really do."
Lightning Dust paused in thought. "Sooner or later I'll have to face up to Spitifire" she explained "But if I don't , I have nowhere to go. No one to take me in. No one..."
"Stay here with me" I begged "I'm your friend now and friends help each other. Stay here with me. You can live here for as long as you need to. Its no trouble, really. I get lonely living here on my own and it would be nice to have some pony to keep my company. Please say you'll stay here."
"You've already done so much for me. I can't burden you like this anymore. I'm better now. I can fend for myself. Really."
"But Lightning Dust, if you leave me, I won't have any friends. You have to believe me when I say, Twilight and my other friends don't come around nearly as often as I'd like them to. They're good friends, but I need you. I need you here with me. Please, I promise I'll be much nicer to you than Rainbow Dash or Spitfire ever will be. I'll treat you like a friend should be treated. If you stay here Lightning, I promise you'll never have to be all alone again."
Lightning Dust closed her eyes. "I'd only be a burden to you." she replied, close to tears. "I'll only put you in danger by staying here. If they find me here with you, they're bound to accuse you as well. I can't have that. I can't let that happen to the pony who gave me so much I didn't deserve. So I should go."
I smiled at those words. Lightning Dust was nothing like what Rainbow Dash said she was. And Spitfire was stupid to expel a pony as responsible and selfless as this.
This was my last chance. "I am a very depressed pony" I confessed, knowing that I had to tell the whole truth and nothing else if I wanted to show Lightning Dust how much I trusted her "Since I was a filly, I suffered from severe epileptic seizures and a range of other very painful symptoms. And that was even before I lost both my parents one tragic night. Without my parents, especially my father who I liked to call Freud (I forgot what his real name was), my depression only worsened. When I went to flight school, ponies laughed at me and insulted me. That made me want to kill myself since I was young. And when Rainbow Dash pushed me off that cloud in an attempt to kill me knowing I could not fly, that made it even worse."
"I am a very depressed pony" I explained, too sad for any tears to form in my painful eyes "Each day I have to fight to stop myself from killing myself because of the voices in my head that beg me to end it. Each time I walk down stairs, I have visions of myself jumping off the stairs so I can crack my head on the ground below. Each time I bathe, shower or go near water, I have visions of myself drowning myself in the water. And every time I hold or even see a knife, the voice in my head begs me to stab that knife through my chest so that it can all end. These are the true things I think about every day. And when I tell my other friends about my condition, they laugh."
"I need you here" I beg "Stay with me and help me. Save me. Please Lightning Dust. You could be my last hope. Please for my sake, stay with me as my friend and keep me company. I can see it in your eyes Lightning Dust. You're tired of being neglected and abused for so long. All you want is someone who won't treat you like an outcast, all you feel you need is a true friend. Let me be that true friend Lightning. I've walked in your shoes and I know how it feels. We're meant to be together. Please."
I look at Lightning desperately.
Lightning covers her face and a long, silent and tense minute passes.
Then she turns to me and looks at me with a serious and urgent expression. "For your sake Fluttershy. I'll stay here. For your sake and only your sake, I'll stay here if it makes you happier. You saved my life, something I didn't deserve. You forgave me, something else I didn't deserve. And now you want to be my friend and stand by me even if it puts you at risk with your other friends, that I deserve even less. You've given me so many things I didn't deserve and now, the least I can do to try and repay you is to do whatever makes you happy. I have no one but you in my life now that I've let everyone down. The only thing I can do now, is to do what I can to show you how much I value you as my friend. So for your sake Fluttershy, I'll stay here and hide."
I breath a sigh of relief, and thank Celestia silently in my mind.
"So you trust me?" asked Lightning Dust slightly nonchalantly, struggling to hide what appeared to be a blush.
"Of course. I've told you that before"
Lightning nodded, and her face began to redden as she looked me in the eye, trembling with fear as she did so. "Well, I hope you trust me when I tell you that...y, you're, you're cute."
Author's Note
Thanks once more for reading. I understand I'm not a good author but I did my best.
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Lightning's past. (fluttershy and Lightning pov)
April 30
Lightning woke a few minutes later, clutching her incredibly sore head.
"Spitfire. Why?" She begged. "Why Spitfire why?"
"Because Spitfire is a jerk" I declare. "A selfish jerk who only cares about herself"
"No. No that's not true. It can't be true. It's not true."
"Would Spitfire really have betrayed Soarin like that if she cared about him like a friend. No. And was it a coincidence that both times Spitfire abandoned some pony it was in favour of Dash. Just a coincidence. No. Soarin was Spitfire's closest friend, and you were Spitfire's best student. Can you remember one time Spitfire punished you for behaving badly or not making it to class on time or anything like that before the tornado?"
"No. Not really. I always made it to class on time. I always got high marks on my tests and I never got into fights with the other cadets. It's the truth."
"So Spitfire really had no reason to kick you out. Especially since Dash was just as much to blame as you and Dash wasn't kicked out."
Lightning sighed.
"I want you to know the truth" she admitted painfully. "You deserve to know the truth."
"What do you mean?"
"Whenever any pony makes a mistake, they have a motive. At least, that's what they say. You deserve to know my motive. As my nearest and dearest friend in my lonely life, you deserve to know why I did the stupid things I did. You deserve the truth.""
I can't help but smile slightly. Lightning Dust really was nothing like what Dash claimed she was.
"I, I need to get this off my chest" sighed Lightning. "And you deserve to know."
I nod. "I'm listening"
Lightning Dust's story (lightning Pov)
I never had a chance to meet my mum, though I was sure she was a really nice pony from what my dad told me. He told me one day that he missed my mum and that it was all my fault she died. I plucked up the courage to ask in a shaking whisper, why.
"Your mother was a selfless, beautiful mare." he said, glaring at me all the while. Then he explained, he explained that to save me, the doctors cut me from my mother under her order's that I was to be prioritized. "She'd still be here if it wasn't for you." sighed my father.
I liked to think of my father as a kind and loving pony who loved his children. He did love my older brother Night Wing a lot after all. He would shout that Night wing was the best son he could ever have, and that no other pony under the stars made him more proud.
He loved me too though not many ponies would agree with the ways he showed the love to me.
My wings were very, very weak when I was born, from being born so early. The doctors told my father that even if I somehow lived by a miracle, I'd be useless as a flier and weather manager, essentially I'd have non of the talents Pegasus as a race were meant to have. But somehow, I did live, with the help of the surgeon, the closest thing I had to a friend or family back then.
I liked to think of my father as generous. When Night wing shouted at dinner time, "Pizza!" my father rushed to the store and returned with several boxes of pizza for him to eat all by himself. When Night wing shouted "orange juice" my father would bring home a barrel of it for him to drink all by himself.
And when he shouted "I won't drink it unless it's iced!" my father would run for the third time to the store for the ice.
And to show just generous he was to his children, he told me to keep my hoofs off Night wing's food and drink because it wasn't mine and ordered me to stay and watch while Night wing ate it all in front of me. "You can have whats left" my father declared, being the generous pony he was. Night wing drank until the barrel was empty and ate until each and every crumb of the pizza had been demolished. Then he gave me the empty containers and said, "that's your share. Eat it up and enjoy."
Such a generous pony my father was. I really loved that about him.
As a young filly, I was not like Night wing. I did not like playing with BB guns or reading action comics. I preferred to pick flowers, to sew, and to read fashion magazines. And I liked pink more than black, unlike Night wing.
By doing that, I made my daddy mad. I was so sorry.
My father was a defeated veteran, he told me and Night wing one day as he sat by the fire brooding over his past. He was very close to becoming a Wonderbolt in his youth, but when he was beaten by one point at the Wonderbolt tryout finale so that his position was one too low to qualify, he snapped.
He broke out in a seething rage, shouting that the competitor with one point more than him had cheated. "He did cheat" my father asserted "The Wonderbolts were simply too stupid to see I had won". My father yelled at the Wonderbolts to change the score. They refused and told my father the other competitor had won fair and square.
From what he told us next, I guessed that he pounced upon his competitor and strangled him hard. By the time the other ponies at the tryout had pulled him off, the other competitor was breathless and had no pulse.
They threw my father in prison after that, where he stayed for several years.
"I only want you to do what I could not in my life" he said to my brother. Then he turned to me. "You're mother died pointlessly" he said "You're not the strong handsome stallion you're brother is. You're not even a stallion at all. You have no right to complain about the way I'm treating you because I'm treating you the way non stallions deserve to be treated. You don't have rights and nopony needs to listen to you."
"But. I, I just wanted to make you proud daddy. Daddy. Please." I begged.
"You're weak. Weak ponies don't deserve anything. You will always be weak and a failure, while you're brother goes off into the Wonderbolts and makes me proud. You disgust me. You're not the strong Stallion you're mother thought you would be. Get out of my sight"
I felt so sorry for disappointing my father.
I tried my best to be better. I stopped picking flowers, and replaced my flower wallpaper with a cross bone and skull one. I cut my hair shorter, and spent more time trying to do wing ups. It didn't make my dad any happier.
He still told me my only bed was the floor, that Night wing would always eat before me and that I would only have what was left, and that I was the one who would do all the chores in the house. I was still a failure, he told me. I was still the weak, useless mare and not the strong stallion he wanted. He wished I had died instead.
He gave me a chance to redeem myself which I hopelessly failed at. He told me to win a flying race against my brother. My weak wings failed me once again, and I told my father that. "Blame it on the fact you're not a strong, handsome stallion like you're brother" hissed my father "You failure."
My dad was a forgiving pony. He gave me another chance. He told me to win in a hoof wrestle against my brother. My brother had a lot of fun breaking my hoof in several places even when I begged him to stop. My hoof hurt for several weeks after that.
I failed my dad. I failed my brother. I failed every pony I loved.
I tried to strengthen my wings and hoof with regular exercise, but it did no good. I was still weak.
My brother was just as kind as my dad. He gave me the cold, hard floor to sleep on and the empty plate with no food on it during meal times. He gave me all the chores to do, and when I finished eventually, rewarded me with a nice buck to the face, sometimes hard enough to draw blood.
I felt mostly content with my life apart from one thing. I was not useful and not making my father proud as I should have been. It was that guilt that grew day by day, until eventually I could no longer bear to see the look of disapproval on my father and brother's faces, that I felt I no longer belonged in this nice, comfortable home or this kind, loving family.
So one day I decided to leave. I thought about leaving a note, but then abstained, knowing my father did not need to find me again for a long time. I would only go back to him when I was a Wonderbolt, so that perhaps just once in his life, he would crack a grin at me instead of being so angry with me.
The only thing I took with me when I left, to at least pretend there was one pony that did , or at least would have felt proud at me, was my mother's diary.
I found it one evening tucked away under a slightly loose floorboard in her room, which my dad and brother left well alone. I went in to pay my respects to her secretly, and found the diary. It shocked me.
"Lightning" It said. "If you're reading this then you know that I'm long dead by now. I won't live to see you or love you as a mother should love her son... or daughter. I write knowing that my time here is drawing to a close. The doctor's say its the pregnancy that caused this terrible illness, but deep in my heart I know that it has nothing to do with you. I would have died regardless, I just didn't want you're daddy to know I was going so soon. I knew the illness I had hidden away would have killed me when it did, but I didn't want to tell any pony.
"I knew you would not be a stallion. I took a test without your daddy seeing and I knew I had to hide it from him. If he knew that you were not a stallion, he would have killed you before you were born, and I could not have that. I could not let that happen to a tiny life that did nothing wrong. I just want you to know that I love you Lightning Dust. Had you been the stallion you're father wanted you to be, that is the name he would have given you. To show how good a flier he was sure you would have been when you grew up and joined the Wonderbolts, something he never sadly managed to do. I won't be around to see you sadly, so I'll never be able to teach you the things I wanted to. But if there's one thing I feel you should know, I feel you should know that shifting the blame is bad. Don't shift the blame Lightning Dust, ever. It never solves anything. Wars are started and ponies lives are ruined because of it. Because some selfish pony could not take the blame. Farewell my daughter. My beautiful, lovely daughter. Be happy, be safe and live a happy life. And please, don't shift the blame. Please. your mother."
I left for Cloudsdale, with the one goal of one day being a Wonderbolt and making my loving father proud.
It was a long journey. And since I couldn't fly because of my weak wings, I had to walk.
Several times, I nearly fainted from hunger and thirst. It was only thanks to kind ponies like Jet Set,Upper Crust and Fleur who threw money, that I managed to survive.
I got to Cloudsdale eventually. But couldn't fly up to it. So I began to weep. I had come all this way for nothing. I begged for help, but no help came.
Several Wonderbolts came by, they ignored me. Several other pegasi came by. They laughed at me.
Then one pony in a Wonderbolt costume came by and asked what was wrong. I told him, knowing he probably had better things to do than listen to me rant. He told me he would help me. And he flew me up to Cloudsdale. I had the courage to ask his name. He told me it was Soarin and that he was a Wonderbolt, a team of the best fliers there were. I asked him why he helped me. He told me it was nothing, and that it was good team spirit to help others in need.
I told him I wanted to be a Wondebolt like him. He told me good luck, and that I seemed like a nice pony to him.
Then there I was, outside flight school for flying ponies. I cautiously approached the other ponies and asked where to find the headmaster. They laughed at me and told me that with my pathetic wings, trying to join flight school was a waste of time for me. They were all stallions too.
I found the headteacher eventually, at that time it was Spitfire. I told her what I had come for. She very reluctantly signed me up.
My days in flight school began, with the promise that if I flew well, I would be given a try at being a Wonderbolt.
But I still flew badly. Very badly. The other ponies threw food at me to show me how badly I flew. I still had no friends.
But that changed when she came.
She told the other ponies to shut up and leave me in peace. She apologized for the other ponies giving me such a tough time and asked me my name. I told her. She told me her name was Indigo Zap.
Then she said something that warmed my heart till this day. "You and I have the same eyes" she said "And the same kind of mane. We both want to be Wonderbolts, we both like flying fast. It's like, it's like we're mirror images of each other. I don't know why, but I feel I can trust you."
"But I'm nothing like you." I said. "You fly well and I fly badly. I was, I was born to fly badly."
"That's crap" she told me "There is no such thing as a pony born to do well or badly. We make our own luck and we do well or badly depending on how much we want to do well and how much effort we're prepared to put into doing well. It's the ponies who are lazy and pity themselves that say its natural born talent holding them back."
She offered to be my friend.
"Why?" I asked "No pony wants to be my friend. I don't want the other ponies to laugh at you for being friends with a loser like me."
"The other ponies don't like me either" she said "They only like Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash is the popular one around here."
"But we have nothing in common"
"You're name is Lightning Dust, mine's Indigo Zap. We both like flying and making other ponies proud. We both want to make something of ourselves. We're mirror images of each other. I can help you Lightning. Meet me after lights out."
So Indigo Zap began to help train me. She taught me the techniques I couldn't learn in class, and told me to never give up.
"Don't fear failure" she told me "Fear not succeeding"
She told me anything was possible with enough effort and strong conviction. And when I felt I could not do even one more wing up, she begged me to continue.
We would train each day, until the sun came up. And when it was lunch time, Indigo Zap would save an extra portion of lunch for me, and tell me to meet her in a place the bullies would not find us.
"Are we gonna win." was her catchphrase.
"Maybe?" I asked.
"Wrong answer, try again. Are we gonna win."
And when the bullies did come for me, Indigo played vigilante and took the law into her own hooves. The bullies thought twice about picking on me or her after that.
Indigo was a better teacher than any of the flight school teachers. I even wondered why Indigo was not already a Wonderbolt herself with how well she taught me. I didn't mind not having time to sleep at night, knowing it would be spent with Indigo.
Gradually, very gradually over time, my wings got stronger. I gradually learned how to fly, first badly, then fairly, then in the end, just as well as Indigo Zap.
But the day I flew just as well as Indigo Zap, was also the day she left me.
The bullies were gathered around a pony called Sour Sweet and calling her all kinds of terrible names. Sour Sweet begged them to stop, but they just put a hoof around her neck to chock her out. Indigo couldn't stand it and punched the bully to make him let go.
The other two bullies tried to grab her, but Indigo Zap bashed their heads together in self defense. Spitfire came outside just in time to see Indigo Zap knock the bullies to the ground. She asked what was going on.
The bully spoke first and told Spitfire that Indigo had pounced onto them and knocked them to the ground despite them begging her to just leave them alone. Spitfire believed them. Indigo Zap said nothing as Spitfire told two guards to take Indigo Zap away.
"I won't shift the blame" Indigo mouthed to me as she was taken away "I'm happy. I sacrificed myself for some pony else. I did what a decent pony had to do."
And I never saw Indigo or Sour Sweet again. Sour Sweet was later expelled too for some reason.
I came too late and missed the fight. And because I was too late, Indigo was taken away.
I felt like leaving flight school too that day, but felt I had to keep going for Indigo's sake and my daddy's sake too. I had nowhere else to go.
I got my cutie mark when one day during a stunt show where every pony was demonstrating their stunts, in a moment of desperation, I flew and broke the sound barrier with my speed. I didn't get my cutie mark when I did my stunt, I got it when the other ponies stopped laughing at me and started clapping instead. For the first time in my life, I made other ponies smiley and proud with something I did and that made me happy. Had I trained one bit less, I probably would have failed spectacularly.
"Keep it up" remarked Spitfire. "Keep doing what you're doing and pushing yourself harder than every pony else and you'll go far" For the first time, she made eye contact with me when she spoke to me.
So I did. I continued training late into the night, and using my days off to train myself harder. The only thing on my mind was that Spitfire would be proud of me, like my father would be if he could see me now. Oh yeah I felt the pain, while chasing all the fame. No longer was I just another player in the game. I was my father's strong and handsome stallion now and he would be proud when I showed him my Wonderbolt badge.
I felt that I would die. I felt that the next wing up would surely kill me. But I didn't care. My dad said it was good to die in battle, and I would do as he said. The other ponies stopped bullying me for the most part, now that I was at least decent as a flier too.
But one thing that never seemed to change, was the fact I was always too late when it mattered.
The day I saw that innocent yellow pony being taunted and pushed off the clouds, I was too late again. One bully who still held a grudge against me for all the attention I was now getting, came up from behind me and knocked me cold, as I was about to fly and save that yellow pony from falling to her death when I saw no pony else was going to.
That pony was punished, but I didn't care. I was too late again. I didn't save the yellow pony from falling. I knew that the yellow pony was a nice, kind and friendly pony from the few times I had seen her before, but I could never bring myself to confess it, partly because I was so dedicated to my training and I felt a relationship would waste time. I really regret not being there for her when she needed me the most.
You know most of the rest. The last thing I feel I should tell you is that when I saw Rainbow Dash at the Wonderbolt's Academy, I felt I was seeing Indigo Zap all over again. Rainbow Dash certainly looked like a friendly pony to me, and I thought I was lucky to be paired with some pony as popular and fast as she, er I mean, he was.
I didn't know he wanted the lead pony badge, I would have given it to him.
And once again, I was too late. Just as I was too late for Indigo Zap and you, I was too late to save the five ponies I nearly killed with my tornado.
And the one thing that I can't help but feel slightly mad about? even knowing how wrong I was?
Had the five ponies not been flying past at that second, especially knowing how dangerous the academy was for ponies who could not fly themselves, Spitfire would probably have rewarded me and Dash for pushing ourselves so hard and using such a method to take out the clouds.
Spitfire took out several clouds with tornado's in her days as a trainee, at least that's what she told us during story time. She told me that was one reason they chose to make her a Wonderbolt.
Author's Note
Thank you once again for reading. I tried my best.
"I'm going to see if I can find some food" I say in a somewhat strained voice. "We haven't had anything for a while now and I'm sorry."
Lightning nods, watching me uneasily.
I step towards the town, hoping my friends would be kind enough today to help me. But before I got to the town, I felt the terrible sensation of being watched.
My heart quickens and my blood runs cold, but I manage to shrug it off, knowing how much I needed to find some more food. I wished then that this wasn't the one day of the year I overcame my shyness.
Heavy footsteps fall. I turn to run back the way I came but before I can take one more step, he leaped out from behind the thick undergrowth of the forest and pins me to the ground.
Him. The black stallion I met the other day. He grabs me and demands I surrender all my valuables. I tell him I haven't got anything. He doesn't buy it and wraps his hoof around my neck to choke me.
I beg desperately for my life, promising I didn't have anything but he only tightens his grip. I scream to get attention but his hold chokes my voice. Then he puts another hoof over my mouth, muffling my screams.
"This is going to be fun" he states, with a sickening maniacal grin.
My friends really were never there when I needed them, and I cursed them silently in my mind. Just as Celestia was never there when her subjects needed her. They were all selfish, arrogant snobs. Each and every one of them.
The black stallion sneers as he stands over me, my vision blurring. A second later and he has no emotion at all. A strong kick knocks him away, as a blur of cyan lunges at him. Lightning Dust had followed me here. She had saved my life and I made a mental note to myself to reward her justly for being so kind and selfless unlike my other friends.
They began to struggle. Lightning's surprise attack had caught my assailant by surprise and he was still recovering from shock as Lightning butted her skull into his stomach, kicked at him with her hoof and began to maul him, like a demon.
But just as it seems Lightning is about to win, the black stallion recovers his poise and lands a heavy blow at Lightning's face.
"You're just as weak as you were when I last saw you, loser" he sneers as he wraps his hoof around Lightning's neck to choke her.
But Lightning's strength is a match for his and she manages to throw him off.
They grapple. Still weakened by the choke hold, still breathless, i watch, unable to do anything.
But eventually Lightning manages to knock him to the ground.
A crowd of ponies rushes towards the scene of the fight. They had come too late, and were here at the most inconvenient of times instead.
They don't stop to ask if I'm alright or what happened. Instead they point accusingly at Lightning Dust, who was still breathless from the struggle.
"You're you're Lightning Dust, the pony that blew the hurricane that nearly took out Princess Twilight and her friends" snarls one of them.
Lightning nods sadly.
"Are you alright" asks another pony, looking with concern at the black stallion.
"Yes" he says "I was just walking by when she came here and started kicking me. It hurts. It hurts badly."
"How could you?" yells the crowd, looking angrily at Lightning Dust.
Lightning doesn't try to explain herself. She simply nodded as the ponies took hold of her so that she was unable to move, and began leading her away.
"You're going to Spitfire" says one pony "I'm sure she'll be very angry with you after what you just did. Especially after you just got a life sentence after that tornado. Let her decide what to do with you next."
"So be it" says Lightning Dust in a voice that could bring even the devil to tears of pity and grief "So be it".
She looks back at me as the crowd lead her away "I'm sorry my best friend" she cries "Thank you. Thank you for the short but happy time you made better just for being there for me. Goodbye. Goodbye my best friend."
"Quiet" yells a pony as he drags Lightning away.
I look on with an expression of utter shock and breathlessness.
But before I can bring myself to weep, I quickly realise the one pony with the power to help me.
The chances of that one pony helping was very slim but it was the only chance I had to save Lightning Dust.
I dash for Canterlot. I had no time to wait for a train, it would be quicker to fly.
Time was running out for Lightning Dust.
April 31
It was noon by the time I was escorted back to the Wonderbolt academy by four large, muscular pegasi, each one bigger and stronger than me. They gripped me in a chin-lock to ensure I would not try to escape. Not that I had any intention to escape.
It had been a while since I last walked on the grounds I trained on as a cadet. I felt nostalgic but now was not the time for feelings.
Very little had changed despite how long must have passed. Days, weeks and months were inconsequential for me as a convict, when each day was just another beating.
I should have felt ecstatic to have a chance to see the academy I dedicated my life to, the place which made me who I was and the place where I first learnt the meaning of happiness, contentment and friendship. But the deep shame I still felt when I thought back to the actions which got me kicked from here, was an old wound reopened when I continued to look upon the beauty the academy still held even after so long. The shame made me numb, and so I felt nothing. Nothing at all.
This was a paradise, my paradise. But a paradise I had been exiled from, never to return. A paradise I would never earn the right to return to.
As I was dragged forward, I caught sight of my old friend and teacher Soarin, sitting alone in a corner.
As I stepped closer to the main building, he continued to sit, staring at me but more as if he was looking through me than at me. His eyes were like dark, empty tunnels and his expression was cold and bleak. I could not tell why.
I wished I could have asked him but there was no time as one of the pegasi trotted over to the door of the main building and knocked.
A guard clad in a military outfit adorned with badges, a pair of shades obscuring his eyes, opened the door. He glared at me briefly for a few long seconds, before nodding to the pegasi, who pushed me forward. Then they quickly trotted away, leaving me on my own with the guard.
He gestured for me to follow him, through clenched teeth. I obeyed knowing that if I didn't follow, he would simply drag me. He led me through the corridors and hallways.
I crossed the threshold like an intruder, which to be fair, I probably was now. I had no right to be here.
The guard led me to Spitfire's office and banged on the door without saying a word. The last time I had been here was when Spitfire made me the lead pony after congratulating me for a job well done once again. And despite the conditions leading up to this meeting being less than good, I was overjoyed to have any reason to see Spitfire again, even if it was just to be told off.
The guard pushed me forward through the door he had just opened.
Spitfire sat impatiently at her desk, her eyes not fixed on me but on a pile of photographs which she was stamping one by one, autographs for the thousands of fans the Wonderbolts had. Spitfire did not look a day older as she slowly looked up to face me after several long seconds. I expected as much from Spitfire that her anger at me had not lessened one bit either.
She began not by addressing me but by taking a long irrepressible, tired sigh. She dismissed the guard with a wave of her hoof and turned back to me, looking at me but not looking me in the eye.
I sat in awkward silence, unsure of how to greet my teacher who I had disappointed deeply. It never occurred to me that one day I might find myself looking at her again, let alone that she would ever even acknowledge my existence again. But then again, why would she want to remember me after what I had done.
She was mad with me, as she had every right to be.
I sat in complete silence, reluctant to take even a breath as she scrutinised me, clearly wishing she was looking at any pony but me. It was clear she was struggling to find the words to say to me as well, and clear I was the last pony she expected to turn up in her office ever again since she looked at me like an intruder. I might as well never have been her favourite student.
"Give me one good reason I should even talk to you" Spitfire muttered impatiently "Give me one good reason I shouldn't just send you back to jail after all the horrible things you did."
I listen in silence, unable to find the words to reply. I did not want to offend Spitfire any more than I already had.
"Rainbow Dash was right to call you out on your reckless and careless behaviour" explained Spitfire "She's a decent pony who actually knows what being a Wonderbolt is about. You don't."
"Rainbow Dash isn't even a she" I thought to myself, remembering Fluttershy's words "And if I don't know what being a Wonderbolt is, then neither do you Spitfire after you betrayed Soarin like that back at Rainbow falls". But I kept my opinions to myself.
I simply nod.
Spitfire looks at me with a hint of bemusement. "The last pony I expected to see back in my office" she sighs "The last pony I would think of ever making into a Wonderbolt. I used to think you were a good student Dust. But then Dash told me the truth about you and I realised how wrong I was. I was wrong to ever make you the lead pony. In fact, I was wrong to ever have let you into the Wonderbolts academy. Now I realise how wrong I was. Thanks to Dash."
I nod once more, at a loss for words.
"Dash has been a promising student with great potential" She continued, "Never before have I seen such a great flyer in all my years here at the academy. She's fast, skillful and comes first in any race, but mostly, she pushes herself in the right direction, unlike you, she's actually a proper Wonderbolt now. Something you'll never be."
"I'm glad she made it" I eventually manage to say. I meant it. I was not angry at Dash, simply upset that we could not have achieved our dream together.
Spitfire scoffed. "You're just jealous now, aren't you" she teased. "Well, lemme tell you this. Jealousy doesn't get you nowhere in life. And I'm not going to let you back into the Wonderbolts just because you're jealous that your partner made it and you didn't."
I shook my head, once more at a loss for words. Words were redundant anyway.
"I'm disappointed in you Dust, I really am. You betrayed your teammate and made an insult of everything the Wonderbolt's stand for. So give me one good reason I shouldn't just end this conversation. Anything you tell me will be lies, Lightning Dust. It always was."
"I, I understand" were the only words I could think to respond with.
"Good. Now we're going to walk you to your new cell."
"I'll go" I replied, looking at my seemingly flawless and healthy wings which had been covered in scars after the beating that nearly killed me until Fluttershy nursed me back to health. They wouldn't stay that way for long. "But first, with all due respect ma'am, I need to ask you something. Something important"
"I don't need to hear it"
"Please ma'am, permission to ask just one question and then I'll go. I'll go, and this time, I promise I won't try to escape again. Please ma'am."
Spitfire hissed. "What is it?"
I looked up at Spitfire as I took a deep breath. "Why is Soarin so sad" I asked "I saw him outside and he seemed so upset, so quiet and so still. That's not like him at all. He's usually excited and cheerful. What happened to him?"
"Oh I don't know. He's been that way for a while now, but he won't tell me what's up with him. He keeps saying its something about how I'm not being a good friend to him, which is ridiculous. But of course, this is none of your business"
I knew what I was about say next would really wind Spitfire up. But I had to say it. It was speak now or never. If I was going to spend the rest of my life locked in a cell away from those I loved, I had to confess everything I felt. I had to say my side of the story even if it made no difference.
"Tell me" I said, looking Spitfire in the eye so that she knew I was serious "What did you do during the Equestria games. Something happened during the Equestria games and it involved you. I want to know Spitfire. What did you do."
"What do you mean" I saw for a moment a glimmer of doubt in Spitfire's hard eyes. It was clear she knew exactly what I meant.
"Tell me what you did to Soarin during the tryout at Rainbow falls. And tell me, what you tried to do to Rainbow Dash and her team. I want to know."
Spitfire shivered slightly but did not reply.
"I have a right to know ma'am. And even if you don't tell me what you did, I already know. I know everything now. Fluttershy told me everything."
"Who is this Fluttershy?" demanded Spitfire, clearly trying to change the subject.
"My friend"
"I don't believe you. No pony would want to be friends with a reckless bragger like you. Dash certainly wouldn't"
"She was one of your students too."
"You're lying. There is no such student called Fluttershy. I would know."
"Fluttershy isn't her real name" I explained "She had a real name once but she was bullied so badly and called so many horrible names that she forgot what it was and Fluttershy is the only name she has left."
"Well I don't know about her. I think you made that up"
"I don't blame you ma'am. I didn't know her well either. She kept to herself. She's one of Princess Twilight's friends now."
"Now you're just lying." growled Spitfire "I know princess Twilight and I would know if this so called Fluttershy was one of her friends."
"Twilight didn't talk about her much, she told me. No pony talked about her much. But Fluttershy saw everything that happened during the Equestria games and she told me everything. I know what you did Spitfire. You tried to make Rainbow Dash abandon her team and to join your team so that Ponyville would lose. You knew she looked up to you and you took advantage of that respect to manipulate her. And you threw your friend Soarin away, thinking he wouldn't notice anything. Well, I think he's noticed now."
"I would never do anything like that." protested Spitfire. "How dare you accuse me of such things."
"And Fluttershy said that you apologised to him afterwards simply because your plan to make Rainbow Dash abandon her team failed."
And before Spitfire could protest, I slammed my hoof onto the desk. Now was the time to spill my guts out, I had nothing to lose.
"Apologies doesn't mean anything when its nothing but empty words Spitfire. And I think that's what you don't understand Spitfire. I did feel sorry for my mistakes, I did feel sorry that I had nearly killed five innocent ponies with my tornado. You think that because I didn't say "I'm sorry" I wasn't sorry. You don't understand how sorry I am. I'll never get a full night's sleep again knowing what I did. I was too regretful in that moment to form the words. It was a moment of weakness Spitfire. And sometimes, it makes no difference whether or not you apologise."
"Apologising is the most important thing to do when you make a mistake" protested Spitfire. "Which you didn't"
I shake my head. "If I had killed those five ponies with my tornado and apologised, apologising would not have brought them back to life."
I resisted the urge to let Spitfire reply. I knew I had the advantage.
"You betrayed Soarin because you liked Rainbow Dash better Spitfire" I explained sadly "How do I know you didn't expel me for the same reason."
"Are you trying to say that it wasn't your fault five innocent ponies nearly died. Because if that's what it is then just be quiet. There's no point defending yourself. You've already been proven wrong and you're going back to jail no matter what."
"I'm not trying to say what I did was right or even good Spitfire, don't misunderstand me. I'm simply wondering if that's the way you treat your closest friend Spitfire, just how I can trust you anymore. If you're willing to do what you did to Soarin, simply because Rainbow Dash was a better flyer than him, then did you only do what you did to me because..."
Spitfire only shook her head.
"And Spitfire. When you expelled me from the academy, you didn't ask me what happened, you only asked Rainbow Dash."
"I didn't need to ask you anything. Rainbow Dash told me all about what happened."
"That's not fair Spitfire. If you really care about your students as much as you say you do, shouldn't we all have equal rights. And thus, shouldn't you have let me tell you my side of the story. Isn't part of being fair about innocent until proven guilty. And should I not have had a chance to defend myself."
Spitfire shook her head sadly. "Fine. Go on Lightning Dust. Go on. Beg, plead, ask for a second chance. Say you were right and that Dash was wrong. I'm listening."
"I plead guilty" I replied quietly, "But I'm still confused about something. Rainbow Dash created the tornado with me. She went along with my plan to create that tornado and if she hadn't helped me, the tornado wouldn't have been so serious. So why was she not punished?"
"Because she apologised. She felt regret and you didn't"
"By that logic" I retorted "What your saying is that if I strangle a pony to death and then apologise, that makes what I did okay. Do you see the problem yet."
I batted my eye. There wasn't much left for me to say. "And for what it's worth Spitfire, I don't want to be a Wonderbolt again."
Spitfire looked confused.
"For me to try and be a Wonderbolt again would mean I learned nothing from my mistake. But I don't deserve to be a Wonderbolt again Spitfire, I had my chance and I failed. And actually, having a friend in Fluttershy helped me realise something. I never wanted to be a part of your parade Spitfire. I don't need to be a part of your masquerade. All I ever wanted, was a chance to walk with every pony else."
"I'm glad you expelled me from the academy Spitfire" I confess "it's only now that I realise how valuable my time as a Wonderbolt was. Its only now that I realise how wrong my actions were. Dreams come slow Spitfire. Dreams come slow and they go so fast. And I was wrong to think that my dream would last. I was wrong. I tried too hard to make my dream last, and that was selfish. I' sorry
I turn away, only to find that while I was talking to Spitfire, another pony had entered the room silently. For there in the doorway, stood Soarin, clearly angry , but not at me.
He pointed accusingly at Spitfire who looked at him with a look of utter shock. "Give Lightning Dust the second chance she deserves" he demanded. "Bring Lightning Dust back into the academy."
help from Celestia (Fluttershy pov)
April 31
I forgot the last time I had flown this quickly or for this long. My wings felt as if they would snap under the pressure. But somehow I still manged to keep going. I knew the one pony who could sort this mess out, the one pony who could save Lightning from the punishment she didn't deserve. The one pony who could have helped me with several of my problems but never did.
Leaves blow off the trees as I continue speeding forward, concerned about speed and nothing else. The world was a blur to me as I sped towards Canterlot, forgetting that I had been berated my whole life for being a terrible flyer. But today, I flew like I had been flying my whole life long.
I began to tire. and I felt for sure I was about to collapse from exhaustion. But then I thought of Lightning Dust being dragged back to jail, and being whipped and tortured every day, probably for the rest of her life. I thought of Lightning's tears when she realised she would never get a chance to apologise to Twilight and the others, and my feelings of fatigue dissipated almost as swiftly as they had come.
If Starlight and Sunset, two ponies who once held terrible grudges against Twilight Sparkle for petty reasons deserved second chances and were able despite all they had done to become dependable friends whose intervention had saved us several times, then Lightning Dust too deserved that chance. Especially since Lightning Dust held no grudge or ill will to begin with and her actions were simply a result of an unfortunate accident she could have done nothing to predict.
It was hypocritical not to give Lightning a chance, especially after she had confessed everything to me. If anything, Lightning could just as easily have been the element of loyalty as Dash.
I breath a sigh of relief as Canterlot, the capital city where princess Celestia lived and ruled from. I land and take several deep breaths, surprised I had covered such distance in a short amount of time. A Wonderbolt elite may have been able to do it with great effort, but not a weak willed introvert whose flying skills were so poor she had to live away from the other Pegasi, and who usually forgot she even had wings in the first place.
I rush for the palace, not wanting to waste time. As I had sadly expected, several guards were standing by the palace gate, their golden armour gleaming brightly even in the dimming afternoon sky. They point their spears at me and order me to stop.
"I have an urgent message for Princess Celestia" I protest, as confidently as I could. There was no time to lose.
"The princess is not seeing visitors at present" was the cold reply "So please. Leave."
"It's urgent" I repeat. This was not the time for following orders. Lightning's life was on the line.
"I said. You cannot. Now go!" they reply bluntly.
I think once more of Lightning been locked back into a cold, dark cell, never to see freedom again. Then I think of Dash standing outside Lightning's cell, laughing maniacally, making fun of Lightning's misery. And my fear, turns to anger. Anger that Twilight, Dash and even Celestia were all hypocrites and how Sunset and Starlight as good friends as they were, were still hypocrites for not giving Lightning the second chance they were given themselves.
"I said its urgent!" I yell. "My best friends life is at stake and you just tell me to leave her to die?"
"You have no business with the princess. We cannot let strangers like you in without you having some important reason"
"I'm not a stranger. I'm Princess Twilight's friend Fluttershy."
"Never heard of you."
"I'm Twilight's friend. I have a right to go and see Celestia. Princess Celestia said so."
The guard was clearly tired. "No. Just no" he said. "If you were some pony important then we would know. Now leave. Leave or it'll be all the worst for you."
The words assertive and shy did not go together well in a sentence. But when I thought once more of Lightning Dust, I managed with a great effort to stand my ground, and shake my head.
"I said now." shouted the guard. "Go now!"
"What's going on here." came a soft, melodious voice I recognised at once as Celestia.
It was like a voice from the heavens. I allowed myself a moment to doubt whether or not this was really happening or whether this was just my imagination. Celestia was actually intervening when it mattered. She was actually going to be present when I needed her the most and most of all, not leave everything to her subjects for once. She was actually going to help in the way I needed to be helped.
If ever I had said a good prayer. If ever I had done a good thing worth recompense. If ever I had made another pony's life better with my actions to the extent where they would thank me, this would be the reward I would have asked for. Celestia actually intervening when she was needed.
Celestia seemed to materialise as she appeared before me and the guards, who immediately bowed upon seeing her.
"What is happening" inquired the alicorn princess.
"You're majesty. This intruder demands to see you. She claims she is one of Princess Twilight's friend, despite none of us being familiar with her. She claims her name is Fluttershy. We told her to leave in peace but alas, she would not go. She insists upon seeing you." replied the guard.
I looked desparately at Celestia, hoping that she would have at least some degree of sympathy for me after all I had done for her. Hoping that for once, she would not turn a blind eye to her faithful subjects when they needed her.
But it appeared Celestia understood the situation well enough, as she looked sympathetically at me and nodded. "Very well" she said, turning to the guards once more "Let her into my castle and we will hear what she has to say. It must be urgent."
The guards looked at me with a look of pure hatred and disgust before very reluctantly ushering me to follow them as they led me through the gates of the castle, and through the spacious hallways.
I remembered the time Celestia refused to believe Twilight or me when Twilight correctly suspected the fake Cadence back at Shining armor and Cadence's wedding.
I remembered the time Celestia sent only Twilight and us to deal with a large, ferocious dragon when she could easily have dealt with it herself.
I remembered how Celestia had left the Cutie mark Crusaders to be bullied and left at the mercy of the once horrible and cruel Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, though I too had sadly done the same . How Celestia left Dash to bully and torment me to his delight. How she ignored her own sister so cruelly and arrogantly that her sister eventually turned on her.
These were my thoughts as Celestia led me into a large spacious room which looked like it could have been used for important meetings and sat me down on a large, comfortable chair lined with velvet cushion.
After Celestia had sat down herself, and dismissed the guards, she turned to me and asked the reason for my panic.
And so I told her the story of Lightning Dust. From the cruel mistreatment she suffered as a filly, to the hardships she endured trying to make something out of herself in a desperate attempt to please her father, to the incident which she took the entire blame for despite not all of it being her fault.
"I don't see what I can do..." replied Celestia.
Those words, drove me to madness. And my hatred of Celestia which was only beginning to fade, came back in all its fullness.
"Celestia" I protested, slamming my hoof onto the table "How can you just say that? How can you be so uncaring? That's what you've said several times to me and my friends."
"I don't understand..."
"You never do anything Celestia. You never do anything even though you could do everything. You think you're above every pony else Celestia just because, because I don't know. But if you really cared about your subjects Celestia, you would help them when they needed you. You'd care what they had to say. But you don't. Especially not me or Twilight. You have no concern about what we have to say. You have no concern about us. All you care about is that we do your dirty work for you and you don't have to pay us a bit. We risk our lives and fight tooth and nail every day to make you happy Celestia, me and your faithful student Twilight. But you never do anything to thank us."
I was furious now.
"You think you matter more than every pony else" I yelled "Do you never learn? That's why Princess Luna abandoned you. She abandoned you because she felt you didn't care. Because you refused to listen to her or take her best interests to heart. All of what nightmare moon did could have been prevented if you had just listened Celestia. But you never listen to any pony. You didn't listen to Twilight when the changelings invaded. You never do anything Celestia. And let me guess, the fact that you're never around when there's a crisis, but only when everything's fine and smooth is just a coincidence. No."
"But you don't understand" Celestia replied, clearly upset by my statements. "There's nothing I can do."
"No you listen to me Celestia. Lightning Dust is going to spend the rest of her life in prison being beaten down by ruthless bullies unless you help her. A good pony with good intentions is going to be punished in a way she doesn't deserve."
"What do you mean?"
"Rainbow Dash helped her make the tornado and she got off free. So why should Lightning Dust get punished then? Why should ponies like Starlight Glimmer and Sunset Shimmer get a second chance despite the fact they did even more wrong than Lightning Dust. Why? They did what they for selfish reasons. Lightning Dust did what she did because of an accident which she had no idea would happen. That she could have done nothing to prevent. So why should Lightning Dust not get another chance?"
"She's right" came a soft, frail voice I recognised at once as Princess Luna, Celestia's sister.
"The way you are choosing to handle the situation does seem a tad hypocritical sister" said Princess Luna, stepping across the threshold. "After all, from the way Fluttershy described the situation, it does appear that Rainbow Dash as Lightning Dust's partner did at least have some part in the wrong."
Celestia said nothing but looked down.
"I beg you to reconsider dear Sister" said Princess Luna. "Maybe you should try giving Lightning Dust a chance like you did with me. Please dear sister, you're not going to turn a blind eye to all this."
Celestia considered. A long, tense silence ensued.
Then at last in a urgent, yet sovereign voice she quickly rose and cried. "Get me a pen and some paper. Your friend doesn't have much time."
And I smiled. For the first time in a long time, Celestia was actually helping.
April 23
"Give Lightning Dust the second chance she deserves" declared Soarin, pointing accusingly at Spitfire.
For a second I thought I saw doubt in Spitfire's eyes, but that second was brief as she replied with a quiet rage in her impatient voice "No Soarin. I cannot. What Lightning Dust did was too unforgivable. We can't have remorseless cadets like her in our team. She's a danger to herself and other ponies."
I fully expected Soarin in that moment to lash out in a fearsome rage. But instead of replying to Spitfire, he turned to me with his head hung low.
"I'm sorry Spitfire put you through all this Lightning" he said, in an almost breaking whisper "I'm sorry. You were right Lightning Dust, you weren't completely to blame. You don't deserve this. I'm sorry."
Then he turned back to Spitfire. "Lightning Dust was right. You did abandon me at the games simply to replace me with Rainbow Dash. You did try to make the other team lose by cheating. And yes Spitfire, you did make me very upset with what you did to me."
He covered his face, clearly deep in thought. "I wonder if you really still care about me as your friend Spitfire. Actually, I wonder Spitfire if you even remember what being a Wonderbolt actually means. Because this is not how Wonderbolts treat each other. This isn't the way.
Spitfire scrunched up her face and looked away from Soarin.
But Soarin wasn't finished. "Did you actually think any of this through Spitfire? Do you really care about any of your students? Or your friends even?"
Spitfire avoided eye contact.
"Answer me Spitfire" he demanded. "Answer me or I'll quit and never come back ever again. Answer me or I'll tell everyone what you did at the Equestria games. They might not believe Lightning Dust now that you've ruined her reputation Spitfire, but I'm sure they'll listen to me."
Spitfire managed with an effort to look at Soarin once again. She glared with a tired eye that wanted to see nothing and no pony. It was clear she wasn't ready for any of these questions.
"You, You're my friend Soarin" she managed to reply eventually "Why would I do anything like that to you?"
"Don't bother trying to comfort me or apologise Spitfire" scolded Soarin in a cold monotone "And don't patronise me either. Instead, if you really have any regret over what you've done to me or poor Lightning, you'll give Lightning her second chance. Give Lightning her place at the academy back and I'll forgive you for everything Spitfire. If Rainbow Dash got her second chance, so should Lightning. Lightning didn't intentionally do anything wrong. It was simply bad luck that those ponies were flying past at such a bad time. It wasn't all Lightning's fault at all. Those ponies shouldn't have been where they were and Rainbow Dash should have had the common sense to not go along with Lightning's plan. It's true she didn't want to go along with it, but she did so anyway. That's still wrong."
I had listened so far in complete silence, watching with utter disbelief at what I was seeing. Soarin, merely a junior officer was the one analysing the situation reasonably while Spitfire, the one who should have taken charge, was at an utter loss for words. Soarin was at least trying to be reasonable while Spitfire was simply rudely shrugging all of his complaints off and still trying to maintain a facade that had crumbled long ago.
I allowed myself a brief moment to curse myself for not admiring Soarin more than I already did.
But I didn't want a place in the Wonderbolts again. If Spitfire, the commander who was supposed to know how to deal with problems like this fairly and reasonably needed a lecture on how to deal with problems like this fairly and reasonably, it was no wonder why the Wonderbolts weren't very successful. It was no wonder why so many times in the past, as Fluttershy put it, they did more harm than good while trying to perform anything other than the acrobatic stunt shows they were only meant to perform when there was no danger that required their presence.
It explained everything. It was all coming together now. The reason why Spitfire did not help with the hurricane that was needed to get the water to cloudsdale. The reason why there could be so few recruits at one time in the Wonderbolts. And the reason why so many times when the Wonderbolts tried to tackle a problem they should easily have been able to solve as elite flyers, like rescuing that pony at the young flyers competition or stopping that dragon which was terrorising Ponyville, they failed horribly.
The Wonderbolts, an elite team built upon trust and mutual cooperation between its members, had no good leadership.
Spitfire wasn't a good leader. She had probably attained her position with little effort and probably upstaged Soarin despite how clear it was to me, how much better a leader he would have made than Spitfire. Perhaps it was another case of that fiasco in Manehattan, which Fluttershy told me about, where that fashion designer Suri took all the credit for the dresses someone else designed, and made her poor assistant do all the work while she basked in all the glory and success.
My admiration for Fluttershy only grew as I reflected on all that I had heard. She had not only helped me when no pony else wanted anything to do with me. She had not only accepted me for who I was, and given me confidence in myself which I had lost so very long ago. Now I realised, she had helped me to see the truth which I had been blind to for so long.
I realised now that only now that I truly understood, could I actually begin to reform. To set right what I had done wrong. To redeem in the future what I failed at in the past. And my hatred for the world that abused poor Fluttershy, turned to disgust and pity. Pity that they chose to ignore the words of an introverted, timid yet shrewd and knowing sage. Pity that they refused to let ponies like her who were much better suited to lead, to lead and to instead give the role of leader to more brash yet less able, less kind and more lazy Ponies like Celestia, like Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash, and Spitfire.
Ponies who were all talk and bragging. Ponies like the mentor who had betrayed me to my face when it suited her.
Spitfire had forgotten that as a teacher, it was her job to teach me.
Spitfire didn't deserve me as her student, just as Suri didn't deserve Coco Pommel as her assistant.
And she needed to know that.
I raised my hoof cautiously.
"I, I'm sorry Soarin" I said "But I don't want to be a Wonderbolt again."
"Well good, cause your not going to be." replied Spitfire smugly.
"N, no that's not what I meant. That's not what I meant. I'm sorry."
Soarin silenced Spitfire with a glance. "Listen to what she has to say Spitfire. She has a right to give her opinion."
And he gestured for me to speak.
"I don't want to be a Wonderbolt anymore" I stated, trying very hard not to cry "Because I don't deserve to. I had my chance and I failed. I failed you. For that I apologise. Not every pony has what it takes to be a Wonderbolt. And I certainly don't."
"But I thought being a Wonderbolt was your life's ambition" protested Soarin, clearly shocked by my words "We can give you another chance Lightning Dust. Isn't that what you've been wanting. Another chance. It'll be alright, we'll forgive you for that tornado and pretend it never happened."
"You might forgive me Soarin" I admitted "But Spitfire doesn't. It would only make her uncomfortable if I came back, and I could never do that. I've upset her enough. And I certainly don't forgive myself. I can't get over the guilt now or ever. It doesn't matter whether it was deliberate or not on my part, but either way I was wrong. And I don't want to get over it. To get over what I did, would mean to forgive myself completely and to say I was in the right and every pony else who accused me was in the wrong, which I don't want"
"No. No don't put yourself down like that Dusty" begged Soarin "If you don't forgive yourself, you'll be sad for the rest of your life."
"It would be selfish to forgive myself. I know I'm not the element of generosity, but even I know that selfishness is bad."
"You're not the selfish one Lightning Dust. Spitfire's the selfish one for kicking you out the way she did."
I shake my head "I didn't come to the Wonderbolts academy to learn that killing others whether intentional or not, is a bad thing. I knew that already. And besides, mistakes make us who we are. And if we don't learn from our mistakes, we'll just end up repeating them. I've made my share of mistakes here, there's no reason why successful ponies like you and Spitfire couldn't have made some too. (I'm not the element of honesty, but it doesn't take the element of honesty to know that there's no point in pretending to be some pony your not. A lot of ponies have tried that. Of the top of my head I think of Applejack, Fluttershy's friend and the element of honesty when she tried to move to the city and stayed there despite missing her family greatly)".
"I only wanted to make Spitfire happy Soarin" I insisted "Ever since I came here, Spitfire was the closest thing I had to a family. She taught me everything I know now. She made me the pony I was today."
"Spitfire mistreated you" protested Soarin "She kicked you out for no good reason."
I shook my head "My friend Indigo Zap was only trying to defend Sour Sweet from the bullies who would surely have done horrible things to her if Indigo hadn't intervened. And Indigo only did what she had to do because no pony else believed Sour Sweet or her when they tried to report the bullying. And Spitfire was willing to believe the bullies over Indigo. She didn't even give Indigo a chance to tell her side of the story. Thus, I hold no grudge against Spitfire. She was just following rules."
"But don't you value your dream of being a Wonderbolt?" begged Soarin, clearly pleading with me now. "Don't tell me you're just going to leave your dreams behind because of one small mistake."
I smile slightly. "I value my dream much more now than I ever did. It was when I was still in the academy that I didn't value my dreams."
"What do you mean?"
"I took my dream for granted and was never thankful for having so much. It was only when I had them taken away from me that I realised how much the meant to me. Just as how I only realise my actions were wrong now that some pony has pointed my mistake out to me. (Like many other more generic villains, now that I've lost everything, I believe in the saying "Only know you've been high when you're feeling low") I'm sorry."
Soarin nodded slowly, clearly still surprised.
"So what will you do now?" he asked.
"Nothing because she's going back to her cell right this instant" shouted Spitfire.
I nod. My only regret was that I wouldn't be able to stay with Fluttershy or apologise to Twilight and the others.
"Very well." I agreed, as I waited for the guard outside to grab hold of me again.
But then a loud banging from the front door was heard.
Spitfire ignored it.
The banging continued, louder and louder.
Spitfire sighed. "Go answer it" .
Soarin very reluctantly left the room, still looking at me apologetically.
Two guards came in and took my tightly by both my forelegs. "Walk" they declared, and I slowly went.
The guards led me to the front entrance.
What I next saw, I had to rub my eyes to make sure I was not dreaming. This wasn't possible.
Fluttershy stood outside, glaring at Spitfire angrily. And beside her stood Princess Celestia and a large group of her royal guards clad in their golden armour.
Princess Celestia said no words, but handed Spitfire a piece of parchment.
Spitfire took it, stared at it for a few seconds, before scowling as she brought the paper away from her eyes.
I looked at Fluttershy, who nodded back at me and smiled.
Spitfire very reluctantly showed the paper to me.
I took it and the contents shocked me.
"This is to certify that the convict Lightning Dust has been pardoned of all crimes prior to this day. All evidence collected on this individual will be amended appropriately."
"Lightning Dust has suffered enough hardship for her crimes as it is" explained Celestia sadly. "It would be cruel and demeaning for her to suffer any worse. It would be hypocritical of me as a ruler of this fair land, to allow this cruel treatment to continue any longer. And I have been convinced by my good and reliable subject Fluttershy that Lightning is indeed repentant of her crimes. And furthermore, we hold these truths to be self evident, that all ponies are created equal and that they are endowed by certain unalienable rights, which among them are life liberty and the pursuit of happiness."
She now turned to me. "I am deeply regretful of the treatment you have received at the hands of your mentor" she apologised, looking deeply into my shaking eyes. "For that I offer my most sincere apologies.". I only nod, unsure of how to greet Princess Celestia.
She then turned back to Spitfire and Soarin. "Lightning Dust has always been our friend. And from this day forth, she shall be treated as such. As a ruler, I realise that though it is hard to apologise, it is harder still to forgive. But I, after seeing the case as presented to me by dear Fluttershy, have decided to forgive Lightning for her actions. Equestria is a land of friendship. A land where Ponies love and tolerate each other, and that begins with forgiving one another for our failings. And I wish you to see to it that Lightning is given all that is owed her, and that she is an outcast no longer. Like Starlight, like my dear pupil Sunset, my dear sister and many other of my faithful subjects, she made her fair share of mistakes, but she paid for them and feels genuine regret."
"Lightning's crimes were an unfortunate accident, and had I been informed sooner, this might never have happened to her. The least we can do now is to give her the second chance she has been waiting so long for."
I didn't wait for Spitfire to speak. I nodded apologetically and took the piece of paper from her hoof and humbly held it up.
And as I looked back at the Wonderbolts academy, I said goodbye.
Goodbye to the old Lightning Dust who in a way, really did die that day in prison.
I asked only to be forgiven by Fluttershy. But Fluttershy's kindness did not stop there.
Now she had given me the last thing I could have dared to ask for.
Now she had given me a chance to redeem.
To redeem in the future where I had gone wrong in the past.
To show the world that who I am is not who I would always be.
But most of all, to show myself, that maybe, just maybe, it was still not too late for me.
That maybe if I took to heart my mistakes, that maybe I could still choose.
But I was not alone. Fluttershy would help me. Would support me, would guide me like a teacher ought to guide students.
But her friends, that was a different story.
Her friends were not the element of kindness.
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The cold hard life of an introvert. (Fluttershy)
She sighed as she meekly turned away from the angry mob and dashed away into the forest, trying her very best not to cry.
She had been heading into town earlier that day to buy some vegetables which she needed to feed her animals who were by now, probably weak and sorrowful with hunger, begging her to return with some much needed food.
It started out as a pretty normal day. She arrived in town without incident and began making her way to the food stalls. It was there that things turned sour.
Three ponies, larger than she was, appeared from the shadows and stood in front of her blocking her path. It was a narrow passage wedged between 2 rows of houses and there wasn't enough room for her to move around them.
"Erm, excuse me please" she said.
The largest pony said nothing but advanced forward menacingly. He grinned maliciously and held out his hoof.
"Valuables down and do it quickly" he barked.
Already nervous of what was about to happen, she tried to open her wings to flap away but fear had gripped her already and they refused to cooperate.
"Now!" shouted the apparent ringleader of the group as his two lackies barred their teeth.
A more assertive pony would have threatened them right back before yelling at them to buzz off and go back where they came from, especially as they were not even armed.
But when your classmates at school teased you constantly and called you "Fluttershy" simply to condescend your poor flying skills as you stood there unable to utter a word in your defense, it didn't say much about being assertive.
"Gizzit before I smash your face in" bellowed the ringleader, a stallion with a coat of opaque, as black as the midnight sky.
Without further hesitation or thought, Fluttershy hurriedly threw down the bag she had brought with her at the feet of the dark stallion and bowed to him, hoping that her quick cooperation would lessen his black rage.
"P... please...please don't hurt me" she whispered as she closed her eyes "I, I'll do whatever you want me to"
The black stallion proceeded to empty out the contents of the bag, pocketing what few coins Fluttershy had brought with her into his own saddlebag. Fluttershy stood still as a statue as he did so, immobilised with terror and praying that this would be the merciful end.
But then, without warning, he grinned devilishly as he swung his hoof into her face with lightening speed.
"Very nice of yer" sneered the black stallion "now piss off".
Sighing once more, she slowly ambled for her cottage hidden away in the woods, trying her best to put the painful memory out of her mind. This never would have happened if her friends were around, but even they could not be there for her all the time as reliable as they were.
It would take her a long time to make back that money, and by then her animal friends might long have starved to death.
Head hung low, she slowly opened the door to her cottage. She resisted the temptation to look up, knowing she would only see the disappointed stares of hunger from her animals which had not eaten for 3 days and Angel bunny impatiently tapping his foot.
Angel was her favourite pet without a doubt, but even Fluttershy knew how unhappy it made him not to be granted his every request. And being served a delicious and exquisite dinner was of course, the first thing on his list which was due him.
She could already sense his frustration and the anger brewing inside him by the second.
"I'm sorry Angel" she sobbed, clearly trying to justify herself as best she could before his anger exploded to boiling point "I tried. I honestly, honestly tried. But I... they... they hit me and took my money. I didn't mean not to feed you"
His stare became even harder and he batted his eyelids.
"Please forgive me" begged Fluttershy as tears she failed to hold back began to trickle from her reddened eyes and she was forced to let go of her bleeding nose to wipe them away. "Please... believe me" Her tone was more apologetic than an apology as she looked Angel in the eyes with a look of pure desperation and pleading.
A look that perhaps even Satan would struggle to ignore.
At this, his eyes softened and he nodded emphatically, clearly sorry for once that he had gone too far. He gently caressed his caretaker in a genuine attempt to soothe her jangled nerves and to comfort her.
It was times like these when he finally understood the true extent of how much his caretaker truly loved him and could fully comprehend the magnitude of the kindness she had shown him despite his ungrateful attitude which he never seemed to grow out of, despite making a genuine effort time and time again.
Yet Fluttershy never punished him. Not once. That was big of her, in his mind. Big of her to continue to love him despite his ungrateful and spoiled tendencies which he might never grow out off.
And he swore a solemn vow to himself that he would make a change for the better starting now. Seeing the hardships that his caretaker had to endure first hand had finally revealed to him the true extent of his faults, and the least he could do was to avoid making Fluttershy's already unhappy existence any worse.
That would be a new low, even for someone as low as him.
Fluttershy continued to weep softly as Angel gently patted her as if to say "there, there." as he looked at her with genuine regret and pity.
It was dark outside when Fluttershy finally pulled herself together by which time Angel had fallen asleep next to her, still clutching her tightly. Tears trickled from his eyes as he slept, it was clear that the guilt he had secretly built up inside him was finally beginning to express itself.
A ghost of a gentle smile crossed Fluttershy's face and left as she gently tucked angel into bed, patting him softly on the head. It was moments like these where Angel expressed his true colors, and reminded her of what she came to love about him to begin with.
Her other animal friends had fallen asleep too, some on the couch downstairs and some on the carpet. It was clear that fatigue and hunger from having not eaten had made them sleepy.
She regarded them with an apologetic glance, they were probably very angry at having not eaten for so long now. She had run out of food 3 days ago and when she found there was no money in the mug on the mantle (for she had already spent her meager salary on other necessities), had taken up depriving herself of two whole days worth of sleep in order to make the money she so desperately needed.
The work was arduous to say the least, she was loaded with a huge, back-breaking load and tasked with delivering it to remote distant towns so remote and archaic, no railway connected them to the rest of Equestria.
She had to travel all day, and even darkness gave her no respite. To reach her destination in time she had to travel all night too, despite her fear of darkness with she still faced even as a grown adult.
She even had to sacrifice rest, even a 5 minute stop to catch her breath would have taken a great chunk out of what very little time she had to complete her task (for she had been warned that if the package was delivered even a minute past the deadline, she would get nothing).
It was only just in the nick of time that she arrived at her destination, where she regretfully pocketed what few coins she was given without a word. She had been promised a handsome payment for the difficult task, but these few coins barely paid for 2 days worth of food, but at least it was something
The journey back was easier, but her back howled with agony the whole way. And yet it was all for nothing.
She sighed as she tiptoed gently back to her room, and settled into bed trying without success to fall asleep. Random bouts of insomnia and several sleepless nights, the only parting gift her childhood had left her with. This wasn't the first time, and short of a wonderful miracle, certainly would not be the last.
She shivered, and with a defeated sighed got up and gently crept downstairs and unlocking the front door. She sighed, and left the room as silently as she had entered it.
She sat outside her cottage, grinding her hooves against the earth as she wondered what to do now that sleep, the one thing she needed the most after two long and excruciating sleepless nights had been denied her.
Twilight was not in town. She had left for Canterlot on some "very important business" that didn't involve Fluttershy.
Pinkie had gone back to the rock farm she was raised, to see her ill father who very desperately needed her presence.
Rarity, was away in Manehatten. She had promise Fluttershy she would be back before yesterday, but sometimes you had to go where potential customers were to keep your business afloat. Or perhaps she just wanted to look at the beautiful shops there just a little longer. She was very into fashion after all.
Meanwhile Applejack had dissipated to who knows where. The apple farmer had boarded the train last week with no explanation as to where she was going. She hadn't stated when exactly she would be back, but from what Fluttershy could deduce from the fact that the train was bound for Doge junction, she had gone to see a rodeo or something.
And Rainbow now a full time Wonderbolt, was busy with work so often, his trips back to Ponyville had become less and less frequent by the month. her job did require a lot out of him and the days off were not many. But it was she dream job, and it was not Fluttershy's place to demand that Rainbow give up her dream.
Fluttershy didn't blame them, what made you think that? Not everypony's life revolved around her, and they had their own lives to get on with too.
So unable to sleep, and devoid of any companions, chums or com-padre's she might pay a visit to for some counselling or comfort after another terrible day of being bullied, she decided she might go for a walk.
A walk, it sounded nice. A chance to enjoy the beautiful wilderness of the everfree forest that was her home, and a perfect opportunity for some soul searching.
When you ignored the Cockatrice that turned ponies into stone with its glare, or that dragon who was fiercely territorial with a breath that could barbecue you where you stood, it really was quite a nice place all things considered.
Not that she had anywhere else to turn, and frankly she needed the fresh air and exercise.
With this in mind Fluttershy slowly got up and trotted cautiously into the darkness of the trees, humming softly to herself as she did so.
She walked and walked, until her cottage was no longer in sight and even the slightest glimmer of moonlight was hidden by tall trees.
She walked on and on further into the shadows, not once looking back lest the guilt over her starving animal friends consume her and ruin this brief moment of peace and tranquillity.
And on she trotted.
Author's Note
Thank you once more for reading.