The Pony Madness. Or how I stopped fearing and learned to love the pony.
“School is soo boring.” a young man exclaimed as he shut his locker, the blue metal door made a metallic clang revealing his friend. A medium sized husky boy with messy brown hair and sporting as much of a peach fuzz mustache as he could muster. “Vick, I'm so glad it’s the weekend only one more class and it’s off to the house for pizza and monster movies.” He smiled and imagined the terror of rubber suited men stomping on miniature cities as they dished out their b-rated horror to the badly lip synced masses.
“Chaz man you gotta lighten up,” His friend beamed. “It’s only high school and were sophomores now, dads taking me out to drive this weekend it’s going to be sweet.” He danced around in his triumph. “You should come over and hang. To much of that low budget Japanese monster crap will rot your Imagination.”
Chaz only laughed at his happy dancing fool of a friend. As the two separated Chaz waved to Vick and the strangest thing stood out among the mass of adolescents, a crisp light blue figure, it was only there for a split second and it was only about two foot tall but Chaz could have sworn he saw a cartoon character standing there looking at him.
Chaz racked his brain he had never seen anything like it, if he had seen it at all. The bell broke his doldrum thought as he rushed past a group of giggling girls and into his biology class.
“Chazter, hows it hanging my man?” Chaz had finished out the longest most grueling period of biology that he thought would last an eternity. A tall gaunt figure waited for him at the schools exit, his black slicked back hair and Fifties greezer get up and speech pattern could only be one person.
“Regi, you gotta drop the Fonzy look man. I mean seriously look at yourself; you look like you stepped off the set of Grease.” Chaz laughed at his friend, and they exchanged a quick round of insulting friendly banter. “Let’s head out Reg, Vicks getting driving lesions with his dad so he's not coming by.” The two friends walked to Regi’s car, another classic from the age of big band music and gas guzzling monsters of American steel, an old Ford De Luxe waited to carry the boys off to their destination, if it would make it there. The car seemed to have been in a state of perpetual decay; its bondo mended framework was surrounded by rust holes and oxidized paint. It was a fancy classic that was probably the height of popularity in its prime, but now it only served as a project for a group of teenagers.
“And could you have picked...” Chaz got ready to get into the car that would eventually lead him to die of tetanus just looking at it. When he saw it again. In the back seat a mass of purple seemed to be sleeping under an old blanket Regi used to cover his brand new bucket seats.
“Chazter? Eh, you there?” Chaz shook out of the split moment sight as Regi snapped his fingers at him. “If you’re gonna talk that way about Joanie you can walk. What are you doing now?” Regi gave his friend a worried look as Chaz threw off the cover and frantically searched the back of the antique Regi proudly named after a female character from his favorite show, Happy Days, Joanie. “Careful compadre those are new, took me forever slaving away for my old man to get those seats.” Chaz had finished and sat down in defeat.
It was there, he could have sworn a small purple cartoon character was there sleeping in Regi’s back seat.
***
“I'm telling you Reg it’s the weirdest thing, I’ve seen two of them now.” The two boys sat in Chaz’s parent’s basement watching some Technicolor behemoth of a robot destroy the Japan countryside. The flash of lasers and low budget explosions were the only momentary light source that filled the mid-sized room filled with scattered boxes and assorted holiday ornaments. Regi reached into the bag of off brand staling potato chips as he listened to Chazes story.
“You're seeing cartoon characters? I’d figured you’d be seeing giant lizards trampling our fair city before you saw two foot animated, what did you say they were?”
“That's the kicker; I haven’t got the faintest idea. I only saw the blue one for a split second and the purple one was covered up.”Chaz watched the Giant robot on television stomp another power line as he took a drink from his soda.
The movie had finished about an hour later and Chaz got up to select another film. “So ‘The Thing From Beyond the Stars’ or ‘I Was A Teenage Werewolf’?” He held up the two classic VHS cassettes. Regi jumped up from his plaid arm chair and struck a heroic pose.
“To the quarry!” He proclaimed and pointed in the direction he believed the old quartz quarry lie. “I say neigh to the lame monsters of space and dogs and we partake of the chilling scene happ’in at Lake Bed.” Lake Bed is what they called the quarry because it was the only body of water they had for miles and a lot of parties happened out there on the weekends. Chaz had been to a few Lake Bed parties but found them mostly boring just a bunch of morons trying to impress the few girls that showed with who could perform the dumbest trick. One fool drove his motorcycle into the quarry and almost killed himself in the process, it was such a nice bike too.
“Really Reg? Lake Bed, you know it’s only like five right? The parties don’t get good until at least 10:30, and besides why waste the time we would do better just going to Pubs and watch adults do dumb shit now. Maybe a bar fight will break out again.” It wasn’t that Chaz didn’t like his schoolmates but it was too early to head out to Lake Bed just to watch what he knew was a bad idea.
“You're right my man, Pubs would be better at this time and I’m starving for some wings I got my rents to slap me with some extra skin this payday.” Chaz cringed at Regis use of slang. It sounded so, bad, for lack of a better word. And Pubs did have the best wings in town; maybe he could sneak a cigarette off a drunk. Chaz and Regi didn’t smoke all the time or often it was really only when they went to Pubs, the place reeked of cigarettes and it helped cope the smell by indulging a little. They were 17 and if they wanted to they could smoke if they wanted. And after today a cigarette might do the trick.
***
The night passed on and it felt good to hang out at Pubs. Chaz’s dad and Mr. Jones, the bar’s owner, were close friends from their military days and he would let Chaz and his small circle of friends come in and break a few rules. They were good kids and didn’t get into much trouble so Mr. Jones would let them slide. The two ate a large plate of wings and discussed Regi’s car and its future.
Regi’s dad owned the local junk yard and he came into a fair amount of random things from time to time. Regi being a big fan of the time period saw the rusty heap of metal and fell in love. Regi had been working on it for the last six years with some help from Chaz, Vick and their fourth, a girl named Wendy. It had finally become drivable last year, if you could call it that. The friends joked about their senior year and how great it was going to be.
“Reg my main squeeze maybe all this cartoon thing was just a stress thing,” Chaz took another drag off his cigarette and a swig from his half empty beer. “I mean I’ve got three finals coming up and I’m good to go on them but you never know Mrs. C always throws a curveball in her tests.” A nice teacher Mrs. C, young but could hold her classes attention with more than her good looks that most of her students were infatuated with, Regi and Vick included.
“I hear you brother, too bad Vick’s not here though,” Regi thought to his short chubby friend and him behind the wheel of his dad’s station wagon sweating buckets. Regi smiled and noticed Chaz was staring at the bar the color from his face was gone as if he was looking at a ghost. “Chaz? You okay man you don’t look so good.”
There it was at the bar clear as day a small off light purple maybe a bit pinkish cartoon, horse. Chaz stared in shock as it drank from a tall wine glass. Its hair was a darker color of the rest of the cartoon, and it seemed a bit oblivious to the patrons around it, as did those sitting in the seats next to it. Chaz slowly pointed in the anomalies direction and Regi looked.
“What? What do you see is it another cartoon?” Chaz slowly nodded as he realized Regi couldn’t see it either. “Well what does it look like share?”
Regi’s joking tone went unnoticed by Chaz. “A... a horse.” Chaz stuttered. “It’s at the bar drinking.” A sudden burst of laughter erupted from Regi.
“So that's what a horse orders when it walks into a bar! Hah, hah thats rich man.” Regi almost fell out of his seat after delivering the line. Chaz took his eyes away from the horse and punched Regi in the arm, when he turned back it was gone.
***
“I can’t believe Mr. Jones took Joanie’s keys and kicked us out.” Regi kicked a can as they walked back to Chaz’s place. “I think you two have had enough. Now gimme your keys and go home.” Regi made as best Mr. Jones impression as he could muster. “I can’t believe you’re seeing cartoon horses.” Chaz still in a slight haze was grabbed by Regi, the two were inches from each other’s face. “I'm disappointed in you Chazter. You’re on drugs, that's the only explanation.” Chaz pushed him away and Regi looked like he was about to deliver an overly dramatic cry. “And not sharing, shame on you I wanna see cartoon horses too.” He looked into Chazes eyes and burst out laughing.
“You’re not funny man,” Chaz thought for a second it was pretty funny actually. “you can have them it’s weird and don’t you dare tell Wendy.” Chaz shook his fist at Regi who was recovering the loss of breath from the joke. Both Vick and Regi knew Chaz liked their only female friend in the group but was way too chicken shit to tell her.
“So much for Lake Bed. No Joanie, no party.” Regi kicked another can.
“Hey losers!” A sudden shout and horn honk from behind made them jump and turn to see Vick in his dad's station wagon. A boring brown car with fake wood paneling just made it lamer. “Saw Joanie parked outside Pubs so I stopped in and Mr. Jones said I just missed you two. I got the wagon lets go do something.”
Chaz and Regi just smiled and ran to the housewife transport. “To Lake Bed Victor, and try not to kill us.” Regi hopped in the spacious back seat and laid out laughing. “And as a treat I’ve got a story for you.” Chaz only covered his face in the shame that was about to come from Vicks reaction to his problem.
***
It had gotten quite dark by the time the rolling brown social suicide mobile pulled up to the parking outside the quarry. It wasn't much better than roaming the small city in Joanie, the poor rust monster never phased Regi as he drove his love around town feeling on top of the world. a burst of laughter could be heard from outside the car as the two boys poked fun at their mutual friend.
“You two are lucky I like you or I’d have killed the both of you years ago.”
“What was that Chaz your voice sounds weird?” Vick looked at him with concern.
“You’ll have to forgive him Vick,” Regi popped up between the two “He’s just a little horse.” Another round of poor jokes at Chaz’s expense.
“Well it’s 9:00 girls I'm going to go find Wendy I’m sure she’s here with her sister.” Chaz hopped out of the station wagon and proceed to the heart of the party already in progress.
“So Vick,” Regi gave his friend a serious look, “should we, tail him?” The two rolled out of the car holding their sides and followed Chaz to the party.
The Lake Bed weekend parties were always held on the first Friday of the month by the schools richer kids that got big allowances from their parents for winning football games, good grades or just to buy their kid some top notch popularity points. It never mattered to Chaz and his friends who held them, it was always nice to get out and hang with the ladies and other acquaintances from school. The parties never got out of hand or violent because if they did the cops would shut down the parties indefinitely and no one wanted that.
Chaz didn’t have to look long in his quest to find Wendy, she was always near the massive bonfire sitting with her sister people watching, brushing off boy after boy that would come to try and dance with them. Chaz stopped and took a look around to make sure he didn’t see any of the cartoon horses in the crowds. He sighed relief and went to his secret fantasy girl.
“It sure is a hot one tonight isn't it Wendy.” Chaz snuck up behind the two girls. “Oh and the fires nice too.” It was a lame line but Wendy didn’t care. She jumped up and gave him a hug.
Wendy was a short girl only about 5’6” standing only up to Chaz’s shoulder. He hugged her back. Her curly brunette hair was flayed out from under her small white bucket hat. Her long green skirt and matching blouse made up her usual going out close for as long as Chaz could remember. She pulled back and slapped him across the back of the head, jumping to reach.
“You jerk you smell like an ashtray,” She put her fists on her hips and stared a hole through him. “You went to Pubs and didn’t come get me? And what happened to you and Reginald? You two were supposed to come and get me at 8:30 to come here.” Wendy went to swing at Chaz, he quickly put his hand on her forehead to avoid the swing.
“Ya sorry shorty, we weren't even going to come tonight but Vick found us walking home from Pubs.” Wendy backed off.
“Walking? Did my sweet Joanie die on you again?” She gave a moment of silence for the beater. “Or did old man Jones take Reginald's keys because you two are morons?” She smiled realizing that was probably the correct answer. Chaz laughed at the accusation and scratched his dirty blond hair.
He froze suddenly when over Wendy's shoulder he saw it again, this time a bright pink horse danced on its back legs with its orange hanging out. It bounced in place swinging it arms back and forth as it danced with one of the other girls, she didn’t seem to notice the dancing display of pink cartoon right in front of her. This time Chaz could get a good look at the cartoon horse it was definitely a female with the wildest hair he had ever seen. Chaz rushed past Wendy and ran to the out of place scene in hopes to get some answers.
He arrived right in front of the pink horse, and just like the others it was only about two foot tall sporting bright colors that kind of made Chaz’s eyes hurt. The horse stopped dancing and looked right at Chaz.
“Hrmmm Pftbbbb hrmm hrmm hua.” What the hell was that? Chaz just stared as the pink thing spitting and blowing raspberries at him never putting her tongue away. From this distance he could see small green dots all over her tongue. Was that preventing it from speaking? “Hepbbt.” it tried again.
“Hey jerk don't run past me when I'm making fun of you.” Chaz was spun a round face to chest with Wendy. “Down here slick.” She protested at him. “I hate it I’m gonna hit a spurt one day soon and you and Reginald can top looking down at me, literally.” Chaz frantically turned to see the cartoon horse was gone. “Hey, Chester? Yoo-hoo earth to space cadet Chester do you read?” Wendy was getting a little worried as she watched Chaz spin around in panic as if he was searching for something important.
“Wow, your boyfriend alright there Wendy?” Wendy’s sister had joined them. Elizabeth was Wendy’s twin sister, not the identical kind because she was just a little taller with straight black hair that she kept pulled back in a long braid. Wendy sneered at her, she knew Chaz liked her but never acted on it. “Well fine then I'm going to find Regi and make that greezer reject get me a drink, I’m parched.” A little rough around the edges but she was tolerable from time to time and she loved tormenting Regi.
Chaz finally calmed down after losing sight of the cartoon horse. “Sorry Wendy it's just,” He searched for something that wouldn’t make him sound insane. “It’s been a long week and I’m feeling a little stressed that's all.” The two walked in the direction Elizabeth went to save Regi from her.
“Oh thank god I found you two you gotta save me, Elizabeth is looking for me.” It was Regi he had appeared from a small crowd and hid between his friends. They only laughed at his plight. It wasn’t a secret that Regi was Elizabeth's favorite victim.
“Run Reginald, she wants a drink so you have two options find her with a sacrificial drink to please the beast or take a dive in the quarry and hope she hasn’t learned to swim yet.” It was an embarrassing fact that Elizabeth couldn’t swim but with the quarry as the only body of water outside of the public pool she really didn’t see the need for it. Regi darted his head in a quick scan and disappeared into the crowds.
The two hung out for a while finding a few groups to stand and talk with. Chaz the whole while would from time to time get this strange look that Wendy couldn’t figure out. Chaz had started seeing the small horses everywhere but was trying to ignore them and just enjoy the rest of the night. 12:30 and the party started to die out all, the stupid stunts had gotten out of the teenagers systems including Regi jumping into the quarry to escape Elizabeth’s demands.
“I’ll see you at school Monday. Chester, Victor,” Wendy gave them a bow. “tell Reginald I said bye and give my love to Joanie, I’m sure she’s lonely.”
For Regi it was a cold trip home after evading Elizabeth for nearly an hour she had finally cornered him and his only escape ended up at the bottom of the quarry where he knew the beast wouldn’t get him. “Damn that crazy ass chick.” Regi shivered in the blanket Vick gave him. “She’s lucky she’s Wendy’s sister.” He wrapped himself tighter.
“And you’re lucky she can’t swim.” Chaz laughed at his misery. “And besides even if she wasn’t she’d kick your gangly ass up and down main street. And then what would Joanie think of you?”
“So enough about Aquaman did you see any of them cartoon horses you looked a little off from time to time.” Vick questioned Chaz. He got silent suddenly at the question. “Oh My God you did. Did one ask you to dance? I mean being a cartoon it would have been rude not to and I’m sure Wendy would understand.” a few snickers from the shivering Regi came from under the blanket.
“Shut it Fonzy, no I saw a lot of them and I even managed to talk at one of them, fat lot of good it did me damn thing couldn’t even talk.” Chaz huffed and crossed his arms. “I swear I quit drinking if it’s going to make me see cartoon horses.” His friends only gave a good chuckle as they pulled up to Chaz’s house. “I’ll see you later Chaz,” Vick waved as Chaz got out of the wagon. “and remember Ponyboy stay golden.” Chaz slammed the door and gave them the finger as they left.
The wagon pulled away from his house so he decided that a good night’s and maybe most of tomorrow sleep would do him some good.
“Wow you’re tall.” Chaz froze as he heard a small childish voice behind him. “Hi we haven’t met yet I’m Twilight Sparkle.” Chaz slowly turned to see what he thought was the same little horse that was in the back of Joanie. A two foot tall purple horse stood in his driveway with a smile stretched across her face. “Are you new here in Ponyville?” Chaz shook his head and spun around to find his surroundings had changed.
***
It was now the middle of the day and everything was so bright and vibrant. He mouthed the words ‘What the hell?’ as he surveyed his new location. “There is no way this is real.” He looked at his hands expecting to have become a cartoon or worse a small horse. Twilight Sparkle just waited for him to greet her back. “Oh hell I'm dead. Someone slipped something into my drink or I’ve had a brain aneurysm.”
Twilight cleared her throat. “Excuse me sir but you’re not dead. This is Ponyville like I said before. And I’m Twilight Sparkle it’s nice to meet you.” She seemed so calm this Twilight Sparkle, and with a second glance he noticed a small thing protruding from her head, a horn.
“A Unicorn? Oh ya that’s it I’m definitely dead, first tiny horses now tiny unicorns.”
“Ponies actually.” Twilight interrupted.
“Well that’s much better, Twilight Sparkle was it.” She nodded her head in agreement. “And now I’m talking to it. Great.” Chaz slapped himself hoping this was all a dream and he was just passed out on his lawn.
“Oh Twilight there you are I’ve been...” A new pony appeared from the sky a cream yellow pony with the long pink hair covering some of her face. She stared at Chaz as he stared back. “Who’s your new friend Twilight?”
“I don’t know Fluttershy he hasn’t said yet, which by the way is quite rude.” Twilight gave Chaz an annoyed look.
“Chaz,” He finally answered. “Look I’m sorry but this is all wrong. You’re cartoon hors...” another quick glare from Twilight. “cartoon ponies. I am a human from you know the real world, so as far as I’m concerned none of this is real.”
The two ponies gave him a funny look for a moment. “Human hua, well that would explain why you don’t look like anypony I’ve ever met, or seen for that matter. Maybe the Princess knows something?”
“Princess? That's it I’m done where's the exit to this crazy dream.” Chaz began to walk around the colorful happy looking area. Trees and bushes were very stylish and clean it all gave a pleasant feel as he searched for a door that he hoped would lead him home.
He started into the quaint little town Twilight had mentioned was called Ponyville. There were ponies everywhere and they came in more colors and color combinations than he could have ever imagined. All about two foot tall and every one of them seemed to be having the best day of their lives, some were smaller perhaps children. They didn’t give Chaz much notice as he searched every small door to see if the real world was on the other side. Both Twilight and Fluttershy followed him around watching him open and close random doors.
“Ponies, of all the things to hallucinate about. Why ponies?” Chaz muttered to himself as he opened another door to what seemed like a bakery of some sort. He gave a quick glance in to see it was another cartoon room, when he saw her.
“It’s you!” From behind the counter he saw the Pink pony from earlier dancing at the party. She stared directly at Chaz and looked like she was about to explode into confetti or whatever cartoon ponies burst into.
“You again?” Twilight and Fluttershy only exchanged confused glances. “And you can talk this time.” Chaz pointed at the intrepid baker and she ducked behind the counter.
“You’re really here,” she popped out form Chaz’s peripheral vision. “I wanted to say hello last time but I had a nasty case of the joke and it all kinda went Pftbbbbb and I really wanted to say hello and my name is Pinkie Pie but everypony calls me Pinkie for short what's your name I bet is Joe or George or even.” She spoke so fast Chaz could barely keep up and the other two ponies saved him by grabbing her by the muzzle leaving her to mumble the rest of her story.
“Pinkie this is Chaz he calls himself a human and he's looking for a way home.” Pinkie stopped and pulled away from her friends.
“Oh I can help no problem.” Pinkie bounced off toward the kitchen. “Just sit right there and momma Pinky will have you home in a jiff.” The three pondered what she meant Chaz hoped she was right and this could finally be over. He sat for a short moment waiting and realized the bakery smelled really nice. Cakes, pies, and a grand assortment of confectionaries were scattered along walls table tops and behind glass for display. He took a deep breath and for the first time since he arrived he felt a little at peace.
*KLANG*
***
“Wake up Chaz you’re going to be late.” The familiar sound of his mother filled his ears as Chaz sat up suddenly.
He was back in his room. Movie posters littered the walls and shelves were covered in old trophies and awards from various events he had either won or at least placed, Tee-ball from when he was small and a few spelling bee awards for participation. Chaz looked around to make sure he was home. His hamster ran its morning routine, the wheel in his cage making a squeak that cried for oil, his T.V. sat with its rabbit ears reaching out in odd directions searching for signal. This was definatly home; he looked around again for any sign of the ponies he had seen yesterday.
“Wait did mom say late for school?” Chaz glanced over to his clock, 6:50am beamed over the display. “Shit!” Chaz jumped out of bed and instantly regretted it. A splitting pain raced through the back of his head, it felt like someone had hit him with a frying pan. “Pinkie you bitch, a warning would have been nice.” Chaz cursed Pinkie and raced to the bathroom to shower and get ready. “I can’t believe I lost an entire weekend.” Chaz argued with himself as he finished. “And to top it off I think I just had the most insane dream ever.”
A sudden blast from a car horn shook him out of his thoughts. “Chester honey Joanie pulled up. Tell Reginald if anything drips off her this time I'm keeping it.” Chaz laughed at the memory of Regi pulling up to get him one morning and the front bumper falling off. It made the loudest noise and would have woke the dead. He rushed past his mother and snagged a pair of pancakes off a plate and out the door.
***
“I can’t believe you slept for like two straight days. I don’t think that's healthy.” Chaz watched as Regi rifled through his locker. It was filled with pictures cut from magazines of his car when it was in prime condition and what he dreamt his would look like after all the hard work he poured into it. He reached into his back pocket and combed his palmate heavy black hair straight back with the help of the mirror on the inside of his locker door. “Did you dream of cartoon horses and didn’t wanna wake up?”
“Ponies actually,” Regi just stared at him in disbelief. “and I guess that's what happened right after you guys dropped me off.”
“Ponies, HA!” Regi closed his locker and leaned against it. “Were they magical pink ponies that sang songs?” Regi couldn’t contain his laughter as he made random gestures with his hands. That was until Chaz remained silent. “Oh my god Chaz they were. This is great; my best friend is seeing magical ponies.”
“Magical what?” The two froze as they heard Wendy sneak up on them and ask what they were talking about.
“Oh look at the time Pre Cal is a calling see ya Wendy, Joanie sends her love.” With that he vanished into the mass of students.
“What were you two talking about? Did I hear the word pony come out of your mouth?” She gave him a serious stare. “What are you a six year old girl?”
“It’s not like that I swear Wendy.” He searched for an excuse when the class warning bell rang. “Saved by the bell.” he whispered and ran off leaving a very concerned Wendy alone.
A few hours had come and passed it seemed like a normal day. Lunch was rapidly approaching and with that an angry Wendy who was going to want some answers to the information she more than likely beat out of Vick earlier in one of their classes together.
“Pinkie says she’s sorry.” Chaz’s world broke and a cold sweat ran down his forehead. “We didn’t know she would hit you, are you okay?” Chaz slowly turned to see that purple unicorn Twilight Sparkle sitting in an empty seat next to him with an animated notebook and floating quill.
“What are you doing here?” Chaz whispered to Twilight.
“Taking notes, this English literature is fascinating.” She went back to scribbling with her floating quill that seemed to be held aloft by what Chaz hoped wasn’t magic.
“No you’re not, and no it isn’t.” He gave her an angry whisper. One girl a distance away noticed him talking to himself and laughed under her breath. “Go away Twilight Sparkle, you're a figment of my slowly dissolving sanity and you’re distracting me.”
Twilight gave him an angry look. “Mister Chaz is there something you would like to share with the class?” Chaz shot up and apologized to Mr. Harington and sat back down to find Twilight Sparkle had vanished.
“Well at least I got an apology.” he muttered to himself.
“Spill it Chester, what going on you’ve been acting weird,” Wendy stopped for a moment. “weirder, than usual. And what is this Vick tell me some nonsense about cartoon horses.” Wendy stopped to catch her breath. They had gone to their usual meeting place out past the baseball fields where a lone tree sat. It was nice and scenic so the four friends claimed it their own and would meet for lunch and sometimes after school.
“No darling we’re ponies.” Chaz was about to tell her the same when he saw a new pony he had never seen, she was a pure white unicorn with the grandest of amethyst hair dos. She lay on a medium red and black plaid picnic blanket and watched the scene unfold before her.
“Hey slick down here?” Wendy snapped her slender fingers in Chazes face.
“Uhhh, ya it all seems really crazy but I’m seeing cartoon ponies everywhere and can even talk to them.” Wendy just stared in disbelief. “I’m dead serious.” he gave another glance at the stylish white unicorn, as it sat and watched them talk like they were some soap opera.
“Oh hell I was hoping I didn’t hear you say pony earlier.”
“Well they keep correcting me if I don’t.”
“Can you see one now?” Wendy sat in the grass; she leaned against the tree and took in the shade it provided.
Chaz sighed and pointed at the unicorn. “Pointing is rude sir and unnecessary.” it huffed.
“Is it cute I’ve always like ponies since I was a little girl.” The white pony gave a big smile and nodded her head at the question.
“I guess so, not really a great judge of cute.” Both Wendy and the unicorn gave disapproving glares at him.
“Don’t worry my dear girl, boys rarely have a true eye for what constitutes cute.” The white pony walked over to Wendy and gave her a hug, Wendy never noticed or responded. “Well this was a completely fabulous time we had darling, but I must go. Look me up when you're in town and we'll have lunch.” With that she made a graceful circle to the rear of the tree and vanished.
Chaz jumped past Wendy and reached the back side of the tree to see where she had gone. Nothing but open fields.
Lunch had ended and classes resumed, every so often Chaz would see one of the brightly colored ponies from that town he had been to the other night scattered throughout the day but none seem to talk to him or take notice of their surroundings. And in the back of his mind he always had the feeling that someone was watching him. Last class of the day and he could go home and drown his worry in a monster movie marathon.
“Welcome back Chaz so sorry I hit you with a frying pan the last time but hey it worked.”
Chaz had stepped through his biology class door and stepped back into that bakery from the night before. Or was it two nights? Chaz shook his head ‘priorities Chaz that's not important’. “Pinkie how did, when?” Chaz hung his head in defeat. He had returned to the bright cheery cartoon town of Ponyville.
“I hope you want to stay longer this time I need to throw you a ‘Welcome to Ponyville Pinkie Party’ I have one for everypony. Well I guess you’re not a pony but I think the rules still apply.” There she went again yammering on at a mile a minute. “Oh I gotta tell Twilight she wanted to know when you arrived.” Pinkie jumped up and ran upstairs to another floor Chaz took this as a chance to escape the clutches of the insane pink ball of energy.
Chaz quickly turned around and ran out the door closing it shut behind him.
“Chester what are you doing up stairs? I didn't hear you come in.” Chaz jumped at the sound of his mother's voice. He was back in the real world, more specifically his room holding on to his closet door. He let go and slowly backed away.
“Nothing mom.” He called back. And slowly took hold of the doorknob and opened it. He half expected to see a portal to the lively colored town on the other side but all he found was his meager plain wardrobe and a box or two of old comic books. “Well at least I’m home without injury this time.” Chaz flopped on his bed in relief.
The rest of the day went on with relative ease; he called Regi and watched a monster movie to calm his nerves. Chaz saw a few ponies here and there but they didn’t seem to speak to him and every so often he would flicker back and forth to Ponyville and home. He had closed the refrigerator door and turned to find himself in a large library of sorts that looked like it was made from a hollowed out tree. Chaz didn’t even flinch he just took his sandwich and sat at the cartoon table and ate his food in peace. No ponies arrived while he ate and he flashed back when he went to leave the library’s kitchen. A kitchen in a library what a peculiar thing he thought as he went to leave and wound up back in the basement. It happened once or twice again here and there, sometimes the jumps had ponies others didn’t.
“You’re taking all this pretty well Chester.” Chaz just sat and watched his movie never tuning to see who the elegant strong voice belonged to.
“Just Chaz please.” Another mouthful of popcorn as two rampaging monsters battled in the middle of the ocean, tiny toy jets and boats firing useless blasts at them.
“Well then, Chaz, My student has told me much about you. I can’t say why you can see us and others can’t but I have to tell you I’m not sure I can make it stop.” The voice walked around so she could see Chaz’s face.
Chaz sat up immediately when the four foot massive white unicorn with wings and pastel flowing hair came in to view. She wore a golden crown and if Chaz had to guess this must be the princess Twilight Sparkle spoke of that first night. “You must be the princess I take it?” she nodded, “Well I figure hey if I'm going insane I can at least be a happy insane and not miserable or sad.” He smiled to the princess.
“I can assure you Chaz you are not insane, we are all quite real.” Chaz only began to laugh.
“Well that makes me feel much better Princess.”
“Celestia, Princess Celestia.”
“Well then Princess Celestia, this flick is almost over wanna stick around and watch something?” Celestia only smiled and shook her head. “Your loss.” he shrugged his shoulders and went to replace the video. He turned to get a better look at her but she had already vanished.
***
Two years passed and Chaz’s life proceed with the ponies. He had learned everything about them, Twilight Sparkle Applejack Pinkie Pie Fluttershy Rainbow Dash and a slew of other random ponies he would meet from time to time. He had learned a lot of their culture, from the way they spoke to how they obtained their ‘Cutie Mark’ a strange tattoo esque design on their flanks that appeared once they discover their special talent. They had become an intricate part of his life. They were as real and a part of the real world as regular people. His jaunts to Ponyville had varied from a few minutes to weeks at a time eventually it also became as familiar to him as his home town.
Chaz graduated and his whole family and pony friends there to congratulate him. The after party his friends held at Lake Bed was a blast he danced the night away and fell a little more for Wendy, although she never hit that growth spurt she threatened. He later found himself surrounded by the ponies and their celebration for him. It never bothered Chaz that all of this may not have been real and all in his head. His friends would laugh and joke with him about the things the ponies did that they couldn’t see and he would get them to not make fun of his sanity.
It wasn’t long before Wendy had finally convinced Chaz to start drawing the ponies so she could have a better understanding of what he was trying to tell her about them. He had become quite proficient at re-creating their likeness’ that even the ponies themselves wanted pictures of them that he drew. Soon he found himself not only drawing the ponies but sitting out in the vast Equestrian landscape painting images for her. He had stacks of sketch pads and covered canvases strewn about his room and attic filled with their pictures. He even started to write journals about their adventures and detailed life stories of each of the ponies he met. He found cameras didn’t work and would only develop into a mass of grey and black smudges. The ponies loved to pose for his sketches especially Rarity, the narcissistic white unicorn he remembered from that time under the the elm tree at his school days.
“Chaz tell me do you hate us?” Fluttershy asked Chaz in a weak timid voice. They had been sitting in his basement watching a few cartoons. Chaz found it very ironic the ponies enjoyed cartoons, a cartoon watching a cartoon.
“What? No, oh Fluttershy you silly little pegasus,” Chaz went to Flutershy and picked her up giving the worried filly a big hug. “Since you all have come into my life I’ve never been happier. I can say for certain that I haven’t had a stressful day in a long, long time. even my friends like you all.” She just smiled and nuzzled him under the chin.
“Even though they can’t see us?” It was a fair statement. Vick had gone off to college right after high school but he genuinely enjoyed hearing Chaz’s rants and tales of his imaginary pony adventures. Regi spent a lot of his time fixing Joanie and was nearly finished with her, but he still listened to a few good stories of the invisible figments. Wendy on the other hand had become slightly annoyed that only Chaz could see them and badgered him to find a way for her to share in the fun. The closest she ever got to seeing them was through his drawings and notebooks about them.
“Yes even though they can’t see you.” Chaz set her down and they went back to the show.
“What are you two up to?” A new voice cut in Chaz recognized it immediately.
“Hey Dash just watching some cartoons wanna join?”
“Are there any explosions or robots?”
“No, but I can find some.”
“Lame Chaz, come fly with me I got some awesome new tricks up my sleeve.” Flying with Dash usually meant watching her fly and Chaz to cheer her on.
“But you don’t have sleeves.” Fluttershy looked at her light blue friend. Chaz laughed making Dash blush.
“Sure, it’s winter in Equestria now right? Let me get my coat.” Chaz turned off his T.V. and retrieved his coat hanging from the wall. As he put it on he could feel the chilling wind cut through his jacket, he had arrived in Equestria. He no longer questioned how he traveled back and forth but it didn’t matter. Once Twilight and Chaz spent three days trying to decipher his appearance in their world. Chaz had been hooked up to more machinery than he had ever seen while Pinkie just sat and watched with a bag of popcorn and some well-timed laughs.
“Chaz my man good to see you.” Chaz turned to see Spike, Twilights dragon assistant. They had met a few times while he was trying to take in everything and come to terms with the situation of seeing the expansive cartoon world. “Flying with Dash hua?”
Chaz laughed. “Ya you got me, shes really good not sure why she hasn’t been accepted into the Wonderbolts yet.” Rainbow Dash’s dream was to become a part of the Wonderbolts a group of flying aces that did shows and were the elite of the Pegasus. She had tried for a long time to get in but always blew it at the auditions. “Hey wait if you’re here, where’s Twilight? Sending you on an errand while she reads?”
“No she’s setting up a picnic so flying with Dash isn’t so dull.” It was Twilight and she was right behind Chaz with a basket of food for the endeavor. “I see she came and got you too hua.”
“Ya she knows I’m a sucker for an opportunity to draw something cool.” Chaz had become quite the accomplished artist since meeting the ponies and getting angry demands from Wendy to show her his fleeting sanity that he called Equestria.
***
Another five years and as all things do, life went on for Chaz. After a lot of coaxing from his real friends and his pony ones he had finally built up the courage to marry Wendy.
“Don’t be such a wimp Chazster.” Regi called out from under Joanie. It had taken him almost a decade since he started working on her to finally finish restoring Joanie. She looked immaculate; a beautiful cherry red finish with her white leather seats Regi even added the gold flake lightning bolts that reminded him of the car that started it all.
“Ya Chazster don’t be such a wimp.” Dash added to the taunting.
“Look I don’t need both of you pushing me on this, I’ll tell her when I‘m ready. Okay?”
“Both of...” Regi rolled out from under Joanie. “Which one is with us?” Chaz told him and he slid back under his treasure. “I like Dash she knows cool.” Dash agreed and stuck her tongue out at Chaz with a smile. “And has some common sense, Just look at me I finally stood my ground against the beast, and before I knew it I was hearing wedding bells.” It was true about two years ago Regi had told Elizabeth what he thought of her and she jumped all over him saying she loved a man with some balls, and a cool car.
“I know she knows that I know that I like her and we've been kinda going out since senior year but can I really marry her?” Regi rolled out again and Dash just hovered in place confused about who knew what.
“Can you even hear yourself? She knows that you know that... it sounds ridiculous. Now I want you to march into my kitchen and tell that poofy haired midget what she's been waiting to hear for a long time and if you escape to Equestria I'll tell Pinky to hound you till you do.” Regi started to push Chaz out of his garage and into the house. He may not be able to directly communicate with Chazes Imagination but he had listened to Chaz talk about them for long enough to know one from the others and he’s made good on using them to torment Chaz into being a better person.
Regi, Wendy and even Elizabeth learned that the ponies were everywhere and if they talked out loud to themselves long enough the message would eventually spread to its target. Usually ending with a Pinkie following Chaz around chattering on and on until he gave in to her demands. Or even once Twilight and Applejack lectured him on the importance of hard work and higher education when he was unsure whether to go to college or not. His parents never really bothered asking or diving deeper into what was going on with their son, he had seemed much happier since they noticed him talking to imaginary things.
It was set and finally happened in the spring; Chaz had finally built up the courage and pulled out the ring he had been saving for the last year. She told him yes and punched him for taking so long. A big party with his live friends went down at Pubs where ‘congratulations’ and ‘it’s about time’ were the words on everyone's lips. Meanwhile in Equestria a grand celebration was planned for Chaz who to the ponies was a resident as much as the next pony. Even the Princesses attended, Chaz had only really met them once or twice but they still gave their congratulations to their human friend.
“Oh Chester I’m the happiest girl in the world today.” Wendy had been waiting for Chaz to marry her for a very long time and with her sister happily married it only deepened the need. She would even lie in bed and read Chaz’s journals of his time in Equestria thinking; maybe talking to herself would attract one to bug him to pop the question.
“Well Miss. Chester Deblin, welcome home.” Chaz’s parents had retired and left their home to him so he could start a family when he finally decided to marry Wendy. They stepped through the threshold and Wendy just took a deep breath.
“Tell me do I look like you always imagined me?”
“Even better in real life.”
“And your friends?”
Chaz just smiled and leaned in to her. “They know when to make themselves scarce.” Wendy only smiled and stood on her tiptoes to kiss her new husband.
***
A loud shrill filled the hospital as Wendy and Chazes first child was born. It was a glorious day the ponies had raced all over his house with excitement for the big day. Even though they would never be seen Pinkie had decorated his entire house in streamers and other bright warm welcoming things to congratulate Chaz on his first child. Chaz knew Pinkie loved kids and would sometimes have to pull her away from bothering random human children she came across. Even though he knew in the back of his mind they couldn't see her he just thought it necessary.
A beautiful baby girl was born to Chaz and Wendy. She had Wendy’s hair small tangles of brown curled across her head but she had her father's eyes and smile, Chaz was the happiest man alive and he couldn’t wait to get her home and talk to the ponies about his day. He only hoped Pinkie didn’t go overboard, well too overboard anyway.
The two new parents came home and chaz readied for the burst of excitement a house full of ponies could make.
But there was nothing. not a streamer not a cake nothing. Chaz helped Wendy put Suzzie to bed and gave his wife a deep hug and helped her to bed also. After taking care of his family he began the search.
It was an hour into his quest to locate any of the ponies to talk to, but found none. He searched all the rooms. He checked the basement but still nothing. Chaz was a little worried, he had never readied himself for the day they disappeared. It was like a massive hole opened up in his soul. The ponies had been a cheery happy part of his life for years now. He sat alone in his studio and looked around to the paintings and hand sketches that were everywhere and every time he saw one of their happy smiling face she would call out their names in the hope one would come to comfort him and tell him it was all right. He even attempted to travel to Equestria, he closed his eyes and thought to the small town of Ponyville and all his friends that lived there. But when he opened them he was still in his home with the lights out.
He paced for hours holding on to a notebook of his adventures with the ponies. He always dreaded if this had ever happened. If one day he would never see his equine friends again. He would always banish those nasty thoughts. But now alone in the darkness he wept for their loss. Chaz immersed himself in the old books he had written in his youth and stared into the paintings for long periods of time recalling the warmth they brought him.
He eventually found himself standing over his daughter, she slept so soundly. He brushed his finger across her cheek and smiled to himself. He may no longer have the ponies but maybe that wasn’t so bad “I’ve got you now.” Chaz whispered to the sleeping child.
Wendy felt for her distraught husband as he told her the ponies were no more. They had vanished and it seemed like it was for good. She told him it was going to be okay and that he would always have the studio filled to the brim with their memory so and they would always have a special place in his heart as long as he never let them go. He agreed and went back to playing with his daughter.
She would giggle and laugh at her father's face as he contorted it to entertain her. It was fun he remembered playing with a couple pony children and a pair of twins. It wasn’t much different to Chaz. A few minutes into the play time he noticed she would look in the distance and begin laughing without him doing anything, he stopped and froze. She would look in several directions and even point and begin to laugh.
She had tired herself out after a solid hour of playing and pointing at the walls. Chaz put Suzzie to bed and sat in her room. He crossed his arms and put his head down. “I think I understand now Girls.” He spoke to nothing. “I know you’re there, you never really left did you?” He leaned back with a big smile stretched across his face. “And I know you can hear me, I want you to do an old friend a favor. Take care of her. Make her life as rich as you made mine. I’ll miss you but I’ll always have our memory and the comfort in knowing you’re always there for me even though I can’t see you.” Chaz got up and went to leave the room. “Good night girls I'll see you tomorrow.”
